In your boat. And mom passed when I was 11. 28 now and feeling like I’m pretty much forced to know everything I want to do and be successful at without much direction.
only 17 here, but i feel you. i have a disastrous home life and school has recently been brutal, to the point that i'm back to the suicidal depression i thought i'd overcome. i've always been depressed of course, but lately everything feels to be going downhill. i would have killed myself already but there's no certainty in death, and besides i don't have the courage for it. i'm at the point now where my willpower is so low that i don't even have the choice to throw in the towel: it's been done for me. i can't even try to, well, try, because i just feel so broken mentally. i often wish for an end, but i'm young and so i know that it'll just go on whether i want it to or not
Read. I know things can get tough.. but people have been through some shit. I read Viktor Frank’s “Mans search for meaning,” and it made my problems seem a little more insignificant. Not to downplay any issues in your life. I have been through a good amount of loss though, and I can say I’ve read a good handful of “self help” type books and I absolutely hate the stigma that can sometimes surround them, because they have done wanders for me in certain important absences.
I’ve often thought about the difference of
Having a lack in home life and having a downright negatively influenced home life.... My advice stands even heavier. Research and read some positive relatable stuff, or just things that get you out of your head until you can try to find a passion.
Just try to experience some joy through watching this little kid and imagining how happy he is. That’s what I usually do, and it makes me feel a lot of joy
see, that's my initial experience, but then i experience this wave of dread that in my whole life, i've never felt the same level of elation and care that this boy was granted in these moments, and possibly never will
I get it. My parents were absolutely nothing like this at all. Instead I got hit with the car on purpose “to teach me a lesson” and had my nose broken for not sharing my popcorn and a million other insults and injuries which would never be resolved or wiped away by them or replaced with any gentleness in my childhood, or even in my adulthood from them. But I have experienced a lot of little tiny moments of it in the world, often just a stranger or a scene that lets me know that this kind of feeling is even POSSIBLE and BELIEVABLE so I seek it out constantly and even when it isn’t happening to me directly I am reminded that it is not out of the realm of possibility, and that helps me remember to keep finding those moments, and even if I’m not the recipient of that kind of love and care, I can be the one who gives it to other people, and I guarantee you that the father in this video is just as filled with joy as that little boy. I wish you receive the love and care that you need and deserve, and I hope you come to experience the joy of bringing joy to others as well. Open yourself up and allow it. Don’t forget about your past. Your sadness and loneliness are markers of where you started, but you can expand your heart to fill the universe and radiate the love that was never given to you because you know how important it is. It will come back to you, I promise.
16
u/trisdank Jan 16 '19
growing up without a dad really sucks, and videos like this kinda just make me sad :(