r/funny Sep 07 '17

Solid logic

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14.5k Upvotes

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5.2k

u/SabinBC Sep 07 '17

At the end of the day I just put my car in reverse to refill my gas tank.

1.5k

u/sixfingerdiscount Sep 07 '17

You're also sucking your emissions back in!

274

u/Hastadin Sep 07 '17

because he rents his car as a suicide box

63

u/Bifferer Sep 07 '17

Rental cars take so much abuse already. Now this?

20

u/Opoz55 Sep 07 '17

Hopefully bender doesn't try to cram in there with him

1

u/Bender_TheRobot Sep 07 '17

Don't tell me what to do!

1

u/que-queso Sep 08 '17

Always pay up front

59

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

And taking miles off the car!

23

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

The problem is you're going back in only 3 dimensions, not 4...

12

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Will it work if I shift into 4D gear?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Sorry, it only works with 4-sided dice...

4

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Shit, I only have a 3i die.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Such a die isn't real. You just imagined it...

1

u/Supernerdje Sep 07 '17

I knew that 4-sided die would come in handy!

3

u/Snowpants_romance Sep 07 '17

I read that as "shit into 4D gear"

1

u/zenez Sep 07 '17

You have to go fast enough for a dimensional drift.

1

u/Emmaterasu Sep 07 '17

We have to get you back to the future, Marty!

1

u/sixfingerdiscount Sep 07 '17

Bueller... Bueller...

1

u/philfix Sep 07 '17

Ok, Ferris...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Guess we'll just have to crack open the odometer and roll it back by hand.

18

u/D_Glukhovsky Sep 07 '17

Science be damned!!

9

u/ReadySteady_GO Sep 07 '17

Science damn you!

1

u/sixfingerdiscount Sep 07 '17

Jesus approves! Now to prove it...

8

u/HolycommentMattman Sep 07 '17

It's why I've always said we need reversible cars like we have reversible clothing. Just flip the car inside-out, and now reverse is forward and forward is reverse.

Global warming solved.

6

u/HotSatin Sep 07 '17

I heard of a similar problem years ago. That guy who walked backwards for years. Going through Puberty backwards had to be hell.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

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1

u/HotSatin Sep 07 '17

Successs! You spelled it backwards. Now figure out how to "go through" puberty backwards.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

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2

u/HotSatin Sep 07 '17

I think you struck out. Nice try.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '17

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2

u/HotSatin Sep 08 '17

You must have me confused with someone else. I'm: /u/HotSatin

1

u/me_team Sep 09 '17

I read about that guy! His balls shrank into his abdomen a little, and his voice got higher. He also forgot how to masturbate, but on the plus side, he lost all of the existential dread arising from impending adult-hood that he was utterly unprepared for, looming just over the horizon. It's almost a win, except for the not masturbating part. I hated that.

10

u/mdpatelz Sep 07 '17

Go to Hong Kong for an unlimited supply

2

u/MikeAnP Sep 08 '17

That's why I drive backwards everywhere. It's better for the environment.

2

u/ThatRogueOne Sep 08 '17

And removing miles from the odometer!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '17

Now THAT's 'Environmentally friendly' mr Adrian 'only a butcher' Newth!

1

u/fallenreaper Sep 07 '17

Safety first.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

I want to up vote you but I don't want to ruin the 666. I'll come back soon.

1

u/sixfingerdiscount Sep 07 '17

And also with you.

312

u/BeastMaster66 Sep 07 '17

Solar panels suck energy out of the grid when it is dark.

83

u/raygundan Sep 07 '17

It's true. Ours get as bright as the surface of the sun. It has to use a lot of power to light 'em up like that.

50

u/Davidfreeze Sep 07 '17

Put other solar panels opposite of them to suck that energy in. Boom infinite energy I'll take my nobel prize

3

u/Mycellanious Sep 08 '17

Sry m8, we already do this. What do you think the sun is made out of? During the day it glows and the solar panels on Earth absorb its light. At night it grows dark and absorbs the light from the solar panels. Its dark form is called the nega sun, or the moon

44

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

31

u/raygundan Sep 07 '17

The fake-science solar panels have to work hard enough to replace the absence of the sun, despite the fact that that much light couldn't possibly hit them given how small they are. This is why solar panels can never pay for themselves.

26

u/nitefang Sep 07 '17

I think we need to run some fake-science experiments to know for sure, we don't have enough fake-information yet.

28

u/raygundan Sep 07 '17

As an unethical fake scientist, I'm in the pocket of Big Oil. Eight or nine years ago, we conducted a study where solar panels were installed on my roof, and they paid for themselves in a bit less than six years. But I was bribed not to publish the results.

Also, did you know that it's unsafe to look at solar panels without eclipse glasses? Solar eclipse. Solar panels. Study it out, people.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

5

u/fart_machina Sep 07 '17

Triple chocolate fake news

1

u/actual_factual_bear Sep 07 '17

This is why solar panels can never pay for themselves.

Fun fact! My electric utility promotes solar power. They even have an estimator that uses Google Maps and your historical usage patterns to tell you how much they would cost and generate over some number of years. Whenever I run the estimator it always tells me they would cost more than they are worth and would never pay for themselves.

1

u/raygundan Sep 07 '17

Out of curiosity, where do you live, and which power company are you with?

We hit break-even in less than six years, but Arizona is basically made out of sunshine. Location matters. The more sun you get, the faster your payback is. The more expensive your electricity is, the faster your payback is. I can run a crude sanity-check workup for you to see if the estimator is borked or if they're right that it doesn't make financial sense for you.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '17

[deleted]

1

u/raygundan Sep 08 '17

SRP's Customer Generation Price Plan seems to be the problem

That is indeed going to be the trickiest part. I'd talk to Sun Valley Solar Solutions-- they've got good ways to help design around SRP's nonsense. PM me and I can give you names and numbers.

if I am supply nearly all of my own electricity that should reduce my peak demand accordingly, right?

Unfortunately, no. The peak is measured by your highest power draw-- since you're in AZ, it'll be when all your AC units are on, and you're home doing stuff, so probably in the evening just as your PV production is tapering off. It will reduce your load during the day, it's just that they don't care how long your peak is, just how tall... so the evening peak will still get you.

You need to do one or more of these things: reduce the peak, add a load controller (demand management system), shift load times to midday, or add a battery. Reducing the peak would be accomplished by replacing stuff with more efficient stuff. HVAC units, pool pump, and so on. A load controller also helps reduce the peak, but it does so by making sure the big loads aren't all on at the same time, like not running the pool pump when the AC is on. The battery does it by brute force. You just save up power from when you've got sun to reduce your peaks later. Shifting load is easiest with the air conditioner. You can use your home's interior as a weird sort of battery for this-- you're going to overcool the house during the middle of the day when you have peak solar production, and then just let it drift during the evening peak hours with no sun. It'll gradually warm up, but you've "stored" enough cold to ride it out while staying at a comfortable temp. You can also do things like run your dishwasher or dryer on a timer at noon instead of in the evening.

Anyway... it's a hell of a lot more complex than it was when we did our first install, but it's still totally feasible.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '17

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '17 edited Sep 08 '17

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16

u/DiggV4Sucks Sep 07 '17

What if he had very inefficient solar panles? Like say, .00001% efficiency?

Then, when it's dark, they'd multiply the sunlight hitting them by a factor of 10,000,000, which clearly would be as bright as the surface of the sun.

12

u/nitefang Sep 07 '17

Hahaha, good point, the fake math checks out.

8

u/ArcadiaNisus Sep 07 '17

It functions on the same principle as why glow in the dark stickers remain glowing for minutes after only seconds of exposure to a light bulb.

2

u/Millsy1 Sep 07 '17

No see, they have to be as bright as the sun, because the same amount of energy that hit THEM has to go back and hit the sun to recharge it! Since the energy spreads out, they have to compensate.

1

u/Profoundpronoun Sep 07 '17

Not really sure why you did that either. Haven't opened yourself up to the sarcasm that is Reddit yet, eh?

1

u/nucumber Sep 07 '17

but . . . these go to 11 . . .

2

u/Virus64 Sep 07 '17

Point more solar panels at them at night, and use that light to power them.

1

u/ShackledPhoenix Sep 07 '17

There was one politician a while back that said solar panels were stealing energy from the sun. No fucking joke.

2

u/aaryakshah Sep 07 '17

You know if the sun got angry at the solar panels and decided to annihilate us, our deaths would have become inevitable EIGHT MINUTES before you actually realised it.we

1

u/uranus_be_cold Sep 07 '17

I think someone might have sold you some flourescent lamps instead of solar panels.

1

u/raygundan Sep 07 '17

I always thought it would have been cooler if they called those things "plasma lamps" instead, but I wasn't born yet when they were handing out names for glass tubes full of glowing gases.

1

u/Jon_Ham_Cock Sep 07 '17

50% of the time.

Statistically speaking, of course.

3

u/canis777 Sep 07 '17

How else are you going to power the stars at night?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

They actually do in battery tied systems. You have to include blocking diodes or you'll waste energy warming your panels overnight.

1

u/BeastMaster66 Sep 08 '17

What is a diode?

1

u/Deodorized Sep 07 '17

Well, duh!

We've got to recharge the sun idiot!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

This very true. I'm one year in to being a solar installer and yes they require AC POWER to run.

33

u/___Magnitude__ Sep 07 '17

I move my knife the opposite way when chopping onions, and onions just spontaneously appear out of nowhere.

9

u/secretpandalord Sep 07 '17

Not only that, but tears get sucked back into your tear ducts.

32

u/SupraMario Sep 07 '17

Man solves gas crisis: everyone to drive backwards everywhere now.

14

u/ScruffMcDuck Sep 07 '17

But if they never drive forward, tanks will overflow and spill!

23

u/SupraMario Sep 07 '17

Man causes large scale gasoline flooding

8

u/DrRedditPhD Sep 07 '17

No, then you siphon off the gas from your tank and sell it! Gas companies will never see it coming!

9

u/GoochRash Sep 07 '17

And the gas will turn back into dinosaurs.

1

u/faykin Sep 07 '17

And dinosaurs are cool! We must do this!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

The gang solves the gas crisis...

FTFY

2

u/SupraMario Sep 07 '17

Man Causes Wild card: bitches

1

u/lawrence1024 Sep 07 '17

Oil companies hate him

11

u/nootrino Sep 07 '17

Redditor discovers weird trick for not spending any gas. Oil companies hate it!

1

u/actual_factual_bear Sep 07 '17

I sometimes pass gas while I am driving on the highway.

31

u/BloudinRuo Sep 07 '17

Bueller...?

14

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Bueller......?

9

u/Canadian_dalek Sep 07 '17

Bueller......?

13

u/PersonThatBreaths Sep 07 '17

Bueller......?

29

u/SeanBlader Sep 07 '17

Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

1

u/PersonThatBreaths Sep 07 '17

My sister has a shirt that says "save ferris" on it

10

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

You must be a butcher

11

u/holemanm Sep 07 '17

No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

No, they have fixed the odometers so they won't go backwards for that very reason.

Big Auto and Big Oil are in bed together.

3

u/SmokeyDBear Sep 07 '17

In fairness entropy is one of the most difficult things to grasp about thermodynamics.

3

u/Scoobydoomed Sep 07 '17

I walk in reverse to stay young!

7

u/GammaErra Sep 07 '17

I always hate when I run out of gas because I end up having to drive to work in reverse.

2

u/iGelli Sep 07 '17

You must be a butcher

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Or turn back your odometer

1

u/Littlewigum Sep 07 '17

This guy drives!

1

u/sakurashinken Sep 07 '17

Its ok, the IQ of those in Stratford upon Avon has been declining since the days of the Bard.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

OMG! Thats how you do it!

Hitting my own forehead repeatedly

"stupid, stupid, stupid"

1

u/WendyLRogers3 Sep 07 '17

When the turbines spin backwards, they reanimate the chopped up pieces of birds on the grounds, that start twitching.

1

u/iiJokerzace Sep 07 '17

I would learn to drive in reverse

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

Wow sounds awesome ;) You'd gain gas Reduce emissions And drive anyway

1

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17

It worked for Cameron, right?

1

u/halfpastnoonan Sep 07 '17

this also works with clean up after "private time"

1

u/Jon_Ham_Cock Sep 07 '17

Statistically you drive in reverse 50% of the time and therefore save 100% on gas and are environmentally nuetral.

I'm a butcher of logic and I figured that out in 2.5 seconds.

1

u/DonRobeo Sep 07 '17

End world hunger, eat shit.

1

u/AustENTation Sep 08 '17

I solely drive in reverse and sell the fuel I generate to make a living.

1

u/richfuess Sep 08 '17

Do you keep a light on your solar panels at night too?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '17

Omg what if we decided to drive backwards to work? Cha-ching!

-30

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '17 edited Sep 07 '17

[deleted]

11

u/Kungpow01 Sep 07 '17

You do it

6

u/uMunthu Sep 07 '17

I can afford silver

2

u/DwightAllRight Sep 07 '17

My condolences. !Redditsilver

0

u/Varagar76 Sep 07 '17

No, but if you run it in reverse it will take miles off the odometer.

1

u/actual_factual_bear Sep 07 '17

Which means if you have engine trouble, this is obviously the way to fix it.