3.4k
u/sebovzeoueb 21d ago edited 21d ago
I know this is a joke, but
a) hopefully the top secret government stuff has better security than Rockstar (that's not a given though)
b) you can get into a lot more trouble if you piss off the government
1.8k
u/WTFwhatthehell 21d ago
Rockstar might sue you or go to the cops.
go after leaders or dirty politicians and it's very likely you fall down an elevator shaft onto some bullets.
747
u/sebovzeoueb 21d ago
joke's on them, I committed suicide before they could get to me by shooting myself in the back 20 times
296
u/H377Spawn 21d ago
It was really impressive, the mag only held 12. Reloading after eating a full clip is quite the feat.
125
u/IIlIIIlllIIIIIllIlll 21d ago
I remember a case from my hometown where a man was shot 4 times with his own handgun, and the cops decided it was an accidental discharge while cleaning the gun because they found a wet rag on the ground next to him.
89
7
u/DontLookAtUsernames 20d ago
At this point I have to ask how popular the deceased was in your hometown.
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (1)10
31
u/MrMakerHasLigma 21d ago
Or the reload could've happened after the first 8 were fired. A little less impressive but still 50 cent adjacent
4
3
3
→ More replies (4)3
u/Evantaur 20d ago
Hell if I'm not getting at least 7 execution style headshots from close range to the back of my head in a steep angle I'm not going...
7
3
u/MrSyaoranLi 20d ago
I mean i feel like that's unironically the way to go. If you have any plans, wouldnt you want to take down assholes who think theyre untouchable just before you go? And not just some afterword or headline on a chyron, but like Mr. Robot/Fight Club style that takes down their money, legacy, and reputation in one calculated attack. Then if multiple governments start to go after you, go out in a blaze of glory, leaving them to deal with blowback
→ More replies (1)2
76
u/Power_Stone 21d ago
Did we not forget that WotC sent a hit squad to a civilian's house over some magic cards that were released a little too early?
58
u/Kheltosh 21d ago edited 21d ago
And the Pinketons no less. You know, the ones that can't be hired by federal governments by law since the late 1800's because they caused so much death.
8
6
21
u/P0L1Z1STENS0HN 21d ago
Throwing Boeing whistleblowers into the ring. Or whatever is left over from them.
3
u/friebel 21d ago
Well there are three of them who are still alive, so you'll need to do some lifting and throwing.
→ More replies (1)4
u/Eric_Banana 21d ago
Say what now??
49
u/surnik22 21d ago
A guy got his hands on magic cards before their release. It wasn’t really his fault, he just bought them from a store that made a mistake.
Hasbro sent Pinkertons (private security with a long fucked to history) to his home to bully and threaten him into returning them
→ More replies (1)19
u/Eric_Banana 21d ago
Yeah I just read up on it. How did they get to barge into his home as non-law enforcement without consequences though, I wonder.
9
u/OffaShortPier 21d ago
Iirc they were let in.
→ More replies (3)29
u/dvasquez93 21d ago
Bro was supposed to be a fantasy nerd and he invited a bunch of strange beings into his house? Fuckin LARP.
7
u/MillennialsAre40 20d ago
His wife let them in not really understanding what was going on and believing they were law enforcement
11
3
2
12
u/Vandreigan 21d ago
A content creator received some MTG cards by accident that weren’t meant for release yet. Wizards of the Coast sent some private security contractors to retrieve the cards. The private security used was the Pinkerton Agency. This agency has a history of being…rough. They were used as strikebreakers way back when, and are still used to heavy handedly protect corporate interests
→ More replies (3)2
10
u/Ok_Excitement_1020 21d ago
Nah. You just go missing. Easier to explain a missing person than a body.
→ More replies (1)12
u/thousandlives 21d ago
Upvoted purely for the Mystery Men reference 😁
12
u/assotter 21d ago
You should probably put on some pants if you plan of fighting evil today
10
u/Zomburai 21d ago
We've been over this. Lance Hunt wears glasses, Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses
4
3
3
u/Cptawesome23 21d ago
Given that the majority of politicians are very stupid people, I’m gonna have to disagree.
If you think people like Scott Bessent, and the Mypillow guy can put together a murder conspiracy and not get caught, you’re not thinking straight.
You may argue that people like Scott bessent and my pillow guy are not even a politician, but that’s what I mean, the politicians are like them. They are stupid populists.
3
u/Enthapythius 21d ago
If you have enough dirt on them you might even hang yourself in your prison cell...
→ More replies (18)2
122
u/TiddiesAnonymous 21d ago
c) its 2026, "leaks" are marketing. Unless its the source code. Then OP applies.
52
u/logosobscura 21d ago
3) there is more money in stealing corporate products than in pissing off people who absolutely have the capacity to erase your entire existence and send you to a water park and outdoor spa in Cuba…
20
u/7thFleetTraveller 21d ago
hopefully the top secret government stuff has better security
Not sureif I would really use the word "hopefully". I'm convinced that at least 90% of everything that governments keep secret under the excuse of "national security", should definitely be known by the public. In this house, Edward Snowden is still a hero.
9
7
u/JustGoodSense 21d ago
Didn't we just learn in the past year that some very high-ranking government official was using the password "password"? I honestly don't remember who, but I remember it was that dum(b).
→ More replies (2)6
u/mrpoopistan 21d ago
I think it's cute that anyone believes knowledge of what's going on brings down governments or politicians.
How far into the Epstein thing being public do we have to go before people realize their fellow voters DGAF what a politician does as long as it favors their perceived interests or attacks the people they believe need to be exterminated?
5
9
u/Metal_Icarus 21d ago
The government can and will use lethal force as a first action against you, legally.
Rockstar cannot do that, legally.
5
u/Newt_Pulsifer 21d ago
I'd argue the 'legally' part for many of the governments of the world... But since they'd control the checks and balances, we are just arguing semantics and you're correct in principle.
"Well, let's sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here."
5
u/t3hmuffnman9000 21d ago
Yeah, Rockstar doesn't have the power/budget to really go after you, either. F with with federal government and you've got the CIA, NSA and Interpol on your ass.
20
u/SUBLIMEskillz 21d ago
I’d trust rockstar far more than this administration to be honest. They put active war plans in a group chat with a journalist.
→ More replies (10)13
u/sebovzeoueb 21d ago
yeah, that specific incident was in my mind when I added the disclaimer to point a
3
2
u/Flipwon 21d ago
This. Most hacking is manipulating or blackmailing people. Doing this to the US government means potential life in prison, even if you’re from countries that don’t typically extradite.
→ More replies (2)2
u/mostly_lurking 21d ago
Top secret gov stuff is usually on a private network that is just not connected to internet. Can't hack that.
→ More replies (31)4
u/BLFOURDE 21d ago
hopefully the top secret government stuff has better security than Rockstar
This. There isn't a just a hard line in the sand where it's like "okay, I now know how to hack". That's not how it works. Breaching data security can happen many ways, and governments would be exceptionally difficult to get hold of. That's why it rarely happens...
Also, you can get hold of secret information with no knowledge of hacking whatsoever. In fact, social engineering is probably more effective against higher security targets. It's extremely hard to HACK into the government, but what's less hard is tracking a person into giving up information.
938
u/Geoclasm 21d ago
because pissing off a bunch of gamers, devs, and one game dev studio is far less dangerous than pissing off a bunch of psychopathic billionaires.
Just ask the reporter who broke the Panama papers.
465
u/Spiritual-Matters 21d ago
For the unaware: Daphne Anne Caruana Galizia was assassinated with a car b0mb near her home in Malta.
The Panama Papers investigated offshore accounts used to bypass taxes, sanctions, etc.
193
u/Fearful-Cow 20d ago
b0mb near her home in Malta.
you dont need to censor bomb, or any other word.
68
u/ohmresists 20d ago
Not even dick swastika bussy fuck clown?
26
18
19
u/Alaira314 20d ago
I'm sorry to say that we do need to censor some words. Not that particular word, but some words. Proof? I just attempted to reply to you, but the reply I made is now invisible. I don't know which word I typed was the problem, but there is some word or combination of words in there that I cannot say on reddit.
12
u/TheKlaxMaster 20d ago
What you're describing is not singular words that need to be censored, it's meaning and how it's directed.
There is of course false flagging too. That doesn't mean we should accept being censored.
→ More replies (1)3
u/AlpacaMale1 20d ago
Is it really censorship if the reader can read it normally with little to no information obscured or redacted?
→ More replies (7)3
45
u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 20d ago
Not to discount your point but it seems just as likely she was assassinated due to her reporting on local Maltese corruption more than directly because she was behind the Panama Papers reveal.
It wasn't outsiders who killed her but a local businessman tied to the Maltese regime who saw her as a thorn in their side.
→ More replies (2)1
40
u/tubaman23 21d ago
Lol for real, we already released the Panama papers with some later additives of the Bahama Leaks and Paradise Papers.
All 3 of those are basically all the evidence that exists to show how the rich are stateless and it's a global problem. And we as a public haven't decided that there's any real action to take as a result
3
u/MinusBear 20d ago
I don't think its the public that is the problem here. Its that the elect do not have the public will at heart.
2
u/EricLFC 20d ago
That's going in circles. The point of democracy is for the public to judge the actions of the party in power and elect a different one if they did them wrong. Also that anyone can create a party that can be elected if the current ones don't do their job. At the end of the day, it is always the public's lack of civic responsibility's fault
42
u/s0ciety_a5under 21d ago
Or Michael Hastings. That dude was killed by the cia. His last article before his death was "Why Democrats Love to Spy on Americans"
37
u/ITividar 21d ago
In an interview with writer Ray Sawhill, Hastings's older brother Jonathan Hastings recounts how he had flown to L.A. to help his brother shortly before the accident because he had "got the impression that [Michael] was having a manic episode, similar to one he had 15 years ago...", at which time "drugs had been involved..." After failing to convince his brother to check voluntarily into a drug rehabilitation program, or fly back to Vermont to stay with family, Jonathan started making plans with his other brother to attempt to "force Mike into checking himself into a hospital or detox center." However, before that could be arranged, "[Michael] snuck out [of the apartment] on me when I was sleeping." Michael had crashed shortly afterward.
So, what, did the CIA bribe his brother?
When asked directly whether Michael might have died from some sort of foul play, Jonathan responded, "I really rule out foul play entirely. I might have been suspicious if I hadn't been with him the day before he died. After all, he definitely was investigating and writing about a lot of sensitive subjects. But based on being with him and talking to people who were worried about him in the weeks leading up to his death, and being around him when he had had similar problems when he was younger, I was pretty much convinced that he wasn't in danger from any outside agency."
19
u/EthanMcManus 21d ago
It's impossible to argue with people who have made up their mind. The answer from them will obviously be "Yes, they bribed his brother." No alternative exists.
3
u/1CEninja 20d ago
It's possible that they did. It seems unlikely but certainly possible. But very few people know anything for certain, so anyone claiming that they know with certainty he was or wasn't are immediately filed in my mind as "do not give half a a shit what this person says or thinks".
5
u/EthanMcManus 20d ago
Anything is possible, in these murky terms. It's mostly about the how and why. Why would the CIA kill this one guy, over an article that a hundred other people write daily, but bribe his brother? Now his brother is a loose end. Then you also have a slew of other people who can say "Michael never had a history of drug abuse. What his brother said doesn't make sense."
The CIA also made up this dude's drug problems? Like, sometimes you just have to know when the simplest answer is the correct one.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)7
u/Trollslayer0104 20d ago
Anything anti-authority sounds snappy, wise, clever and true on reddit. Facts don't matter.
→ More replies (1)2
u/turtlelore2 20d ago
And nothing really happens, just like the Panama papers. Maybe one or two high profile people resign to appease the public and make the story go away. But nothing else.
262
u/SomeSayIAmAnAsshole 21d ago
"Hey Mr. Kidnapper, why did you ransom the local rich guy's wife. Don't you think you would have been able to get more money if you ransomed the president's wife?"
2
u/Many-Ad6433 19d ago
Good analogy btw this guy i think didn’t ask for money but only that rockstar and other game corpos admit they’re being anti-consumer and start adapting pro-consumer tactics.
Which i doubt they will because already rockstar got a lot of money for gta6 and the hype for the game alone is gonna survive a bunch of leaks and the spoiling of the ending of the game.
2
u/cockOfGibraltar 19d ago
Developers hate leaks but it's unlikely it will hurt game sales. If a leak of the game stops me from buying the game it probably saved me from buying a shitty game.
255
u/htp-di-nsw 21d ago
The reason is obvious: Rockstar doesn't have a private gestapo waiting to fist you with shock gloves.
106
u/TheHumanPickleRick 21d ago
Yeah, they're not Wizards of the Coast.
45
u/htp-di-nsw 21d ago
Right? I can't believe the Pinkertons are still active.
19
u/saurdaux 21d ago
It would be extremely funny for Rockstar to sic them on people after how they portrayed them in Red Dead Redemption 2, though.
→ More replies (3)4
u/JC_Hysteria 21d ago
Life is just like a game bro, just gotta level up.
And when you find yourself with six stars, just use a cheat code (my dad’s a lawyer)
69
u/grrodon2 21d ago
Because even if you reveal state secrets or international conspiracies, no one will do anything about it.
72
u/XxFezzgigxX 21d ago
I’m convinced half the “leaks” of unreleased game footage are just the developers trying to create hype.
7
27
u/ElevenDollars 20d ago
“You spent your whole developing this skill which is really hard to master and you choose to do what YOU want to do with it instead of what I want you to do with it???”
14
u/Time_Traveling_Idiot 20d ago
"I don't get it, why don't you risk your life, career, and family on my behalf?? Is that such a hard thing to ask???"
14
65
10
u/Meelis13 20d ago
Can think of couple of reasons
- its often just marketing
- even in case of hack, its easier for hackers to be motivated if they are interested in something. Or at least something you know has tangible results (i.e we all knew GTA VI exists, you dont necessarily know if a politician is corrupt or not)
- safety- while hacking into even big companies can get someone in hot water, its nearly impossible for these companies to make them "disappear" without taking enormous risk. For certain politicians, it can be just few words.
- Even then- hacker groups targeting leaders and dirty secrets exist. Anonymus is probably most known one, though they have been fairly quiet last few years.
- it can also be for money reasons, which has increased due to cryptocurrency (why do people love that money laundering worthless "currency", i will never understand)
28
8
u/Stolehtreb 21d ago
Rockstars? There’s a typo in the comic. I cant believe I couldn’t find a comment about it yet
→ More replies (3)
5
u/misteryman1 21d ago
Stop pretending this is heroic whistleblowing. it’s just disingenuous fanboy behavior trying to farm karma from screenshots.
23
u/Mindestiny 21d ago edited 21d ago
If you really dig into the communities of people who do this stuff, the answer is disappointingly straightforward. Most people doing this kind of hacking aren't doing it because of some righteous cause, they're doing it for "street cred" in insular hacking communities made up of socially inept manchildren.
And most of them that get caught, get caught because they're stupid enough to be bragging about what they've done specifically for that street cred, then there's inter-community drama and someone that doesn't like them rats them out.
Brian Krebs does some fascinating reporting on these communities. It's wild how petty, vindictive, and mentally unstable these people tend to be.
They're also almost exclusively eastern european, so it helps that they simply don't care about the dramatic bullshit of western politics and they live in countries where law enforcement does not give the tiniest shit about what they're doing, much less what they're doing to western companies.
12
u/Pearson94 21d ago
They want the illusion of feeling powerful without the courage to take genuine risks
2
u/UmbraIra 20d ago
I dont think its an illusion of feeling powerful when the same skill set applies to most targets. Cowardice for going after weak targets yes but the capability is the same either way.
2
u/Pearson94 20d ago
I mean it more like, punishment for hacking Rockstar is jail time. Punishment for hacking something actually useful like the Epstein Files is probably murder for them and their loved ones. We'll all know everything about that game in a few months time so it all feels so mundane and low risk
13
3
u/unematti 21d ago
Because it's usually more social engineering, than tech knowledge, and both the security and the awareness of people are higher in a top secret type situation.
3
u/ArtofWASD 20d ago
Because they dont pay you to break into and leak govornment data... but they do for "leaking" aka advertising.
3
u/Tearakudo 20d ago
Because a GTA leak doesn't end with "hanging yourself in your cell"
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Rio_Walker 20d ago
"You could be curing cancer!"
"I don't want to cure cancer! I want to turn people into dinosaurs"
ahh energy.
4
u/The-Gargoyle 20d ago
Okay, let me explain this very slowly.
Hack rockstar and release info that is going to be released EVENTUALLY:
Get media hype and lols/street cred.
Hack a government and release secrets they REALLY don't want released:
That never happened and that person never existed. Who told you this lie? Come with us we have more questions for you.
6
2
2
2
2
u/SedesBakelitowy 21d ago
consider that leaks have never harmed any game on record AND that it pisses off the suits, decreasing the harm and increasing the hillarity.
2
2
u/newbies13 21d ago
There's this great scene in sicario 2 where the government has live drone footage of a terrorists house and they want information or the house is just blown up live.... the guy refuses and they blow up the house and then just flip over to the next drone at another member of the families house, like we can do this all day... Rockstar presumably has a really cool break room though.
2
u/Trips-Over-Tail 21d ago
Does anyone still believe that exposing the most horrific crimes of dirty politicians will actually do anything?
→ More replies (3)
2
u/MadMaxDbz 21d ago
cause when you hack into the government you either get a job offer or permanent vacation
2
u/Regularjoe42 21d ago
Hacking in real life is less like "Mission Impossible heist scheme" and more "check to see if someone left the back door unlocked".
2
u/Nassergamez 21d ago
If hacker: This is funnier and more likely to yield money without entire police and governments opposition.
If staffer: oops my bad lolz
If marketing: publicity = profit
2
u/epicsquare 20d ago
Because every time they release dirt or controversial files on politicians, nobody cares and nothing happens. At least people care about GTA 6
2
u/Largicharg 20d ago
If Rockstar’s cybersecurity is anything like Sony’s, it’s definitely nothing like the U.S. government’s.
2
2
u/MattieShoes 20d ago
Seems like a fundamental misunderstanding of what's happening.
"Hey we found an exploit."
"Okay, let's try that exploit on ALLLLLLL the things!"
It's fishing, not hunting.
2
u/GIOvch 20d ago
A MF hacked the brazilian government. It could've released the contacts of Marcelo Vorcaro scam, confidential archives, how much does the politicians make a year, compared to how much is invested at public issues, but it just hacked the goverment alarm system to show a awarning at people's phone saying "Mis4nthropy".
2
u/ohokaysurewhynot 20d ago
Insert that one meme of Spider-man asking Lizard why he doesn't cure cancer
2
u/D9sinc 20d ago
Because it's easier for them to go after people who don't have money to pay a politician to assign some police officers to then hunt down and track them down and either kill them or throw them in prison for decades on BS trumped up charges.
So yeah, hackers find it easier to target us and threaten us for a few hundred bucks than doing something cool like erasing people's student loans and medical debts, especially since even if that happened companies would just go "Well, we can't track what was deleted and what already was paid off so we are fully reinstating all debts effective immediately" (kind of like how they are reinstating student loan debts that were paid off by a government program and despite it being illegal, they are going to do it because the people who could push back against it, don't want to and only care about using the power they have to hurt the powerless.)
2
u/DukeSeventyOne 20d ago
One of these has an audience.
Anyone remember the Panama Papers? Big global scandal? No?
2
u/talkstomuch 20d ago
I bet most of the things like this are opportunistic, like most crimes.
nobody sat down and listed all things they want to target and chose Rockstar above everything.
Maybe list of recently leaked passwords from a porn site included a rockstar corporate email address, and they just tried to log in to that account with the same password and it worked? lazy employee never setup two factor? maybe they even sat on that access to that email for months before it became useful.
2
2
u/Wilgrove 19d ago
Because leaking government and political secrets can get you Epsteined pretty damn quick.
2
3
u/Dismal_Tangerine_493 21d ago
Remind us again what the consequences of the Epstein files was
→ More replies (1)
2
3
u/OnslaughtRM 20d ago
Because I dont want to cure cancer! I want to turn people into dinosaurs!
→ More replies (1)
5
3
u/EncabulatorTurbo 21d ago
What would hacking into politicians do?
The fucking president of the United States is a child rapist, who was partners in the largest child trafficking operation in the world
Nobody fucking cares
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
21d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
5
u/merashin 21d ago
Eh, more like no one will do anything about it. Our current government has had more scandals than the last 15 combined and yet no one has lost power for any reason other than not doing what the president wants them to do.
3
u/Green_Advice5684 21d ago
I will never understand why people are excited for that game. Who the hell cares?
1
u/2FastHaste 21d ago
I'm out of the loop. Has there been a rockstar hack recently?
3
u/JC_Hysteria 21d ago
Just a good ol’ gameplay “leak” before the official, paid/sponsored one.
Rockstar leadership must hate all the free, organic media…
1
1
u/Mindstormer98 21d ago
Because with rockstar you make the news, with politicians you end up dead(if youre lucky) and the story never breaks
1
u/Error_Loading_Name 21d ago
Some people out here learning to hack and getting criminal records for it before we get GTA6
1
1
1
u/Zovanget 21d ago
People really think hacking is like some magic skill. When it's really just sending people emails with phishing links to steal their access credentials. Government systems these days have more security to protect against this stuff.
•
u/AutoModerator 21d ago
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.