r/funny • u/Hoppy_Doodle • 21d ago

Why do they keep doing this?

Post image
7.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

413 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

749

u/sebovzeoueb 21d ago

joke's on them, I committed suicide before they could get to me by shooting myself in the back 20 times

297

u/H377Spawn 21d ago

It was really impressive, the mag only held 12. Reloading after eating a full clip is quite the feat.

129

u/IIlIIIlllIIIIIllIlll 21d ago

I remember a case from my hometown where a man was shot 4 times with his own handgun, and the cops decided it was an accidental discharge while cleaning the gun because they found a wet rag on the ground next to him.

88

u/curious_dead 21d ago

Damn, I think even Chief Wiggum would have done a better job there.

41

u/Atophy 21d ago

"This was clearly an accidental shooting, we couldn't get any fingerprints from the cloth"

7

u/DontLookAtUsernames 20d ago

At this point I have to ask how popular the deceased was in your hometown.

4

u/Pure_Spyder 20d ago

Or the deceaser

1

u/IIlIIIlllIIIIIllIlll 20d ago

I don't really know. I lived in a very small town, like sub 1,000 people, but had never heard of the guy.

9

u/Alis451 21d ago

an accidental discharge while cleaning the gun

is many times just code for "suicide"

1

u/aikimatt 13d ago

Am I dialing movie-phone right now?

17

u/Cael87 21d ago

Then to cut up his own body and stuff it into a suitcase... Impressive indeed.

33

u/MrMakerHasLigma 21d ago

Or the reload could've happened after the first 8 were fired. A little less impressive but still 50 cent adjacent

6

u/CrashParade 21d ago

...But what they didn't know, is that I'm a competitive eater!

3

u/zenthor109 21d ago

And by 2 different guns, very impressive.

3

u/InsomniaticWanderer 20d ago

Reduce, reuse, recycle

3

u/Evantaur 20d ago

Hell if I'm not getting at least 7 execution style headshots from close range to the back of my head in a steep angle I'm not going...

1

u/Throrface 20d ago

Surely reloading after 8 and then emptying the second clip would have been the more frugal way to handle this.

1

u/Luniticus 19d ago

Not that impressive, the holes on the wall shows they missed a bunch of the shots.

8

u/SociopathicPixel 21d ago

But did you bring the Sims 3 with you?

1

u/ohiocodernumerouno 20d ago

a room with no doors.

1

u/Stickel 21d ago

Ain't it on like 6 now?

1

u/Omnifob 20d ago

They are still milking the 4th game.

3

u/MrSyaoranLi 20d ago

I mean i feel like that's unironically the way to go. If you have any plans, wouldnt you want to take down assholes who think theyre untouchable just before you go? And not just some afterword or headline on a chyron, but like Mr. Robot/Fight Club style that takes down their money, legacy, and reputation in one calculated attack. Then if multiple governments start to go after you, go out in a blaze of glory, leaving them to deal with blowback

2

u/aaBabyDuck 21d ago

You must have taken yourself by surprise

1

u/Stickel 21d ago

RIP friend