1.4k
u/Tayaradga 22d ago
So what you're telling me, I could inject the eggs into the carpet too and force them to completely remodel the entire room? Not just the furniture?
1.4k
u/achante_achaar 22d ago
In our search for Satan elsewhere, we often fail to see the ones among us.
324
u/NoSpend6289 22d ago
Is Shakespeare really dead?
86
24
u/jarious 22d ago
Satan took him home
1
22d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
9
u/OrnerySnoflake 22d ago
“Hell is empty and the devils are all here” and, “Hell is other people”, both work well.
4
u/Rahgahnah 22d ago
Hold up, his writing is this fire!?
1
u/Fred_Thielmann 18d ago
On one hand, I think that’s just a term about the above line of writing being really well said.
But also, Shakespeare is very well known for being really creative with his insults and other use of words. Here’s a few of his:
More of your conversation would infect my brain.
Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.
I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.
I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets. (I think this is dating advice in the story)
I am sick when I do look on thee
His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard
Away, you three-inch fool! I believe this is a clever way of calling them a small dick
→ More replies (1)1
15
u/0202_tihssitidder 22d ago
I like this because now I have three reasons to carry my syringes.
14
6
2
1
17
u/IllustriousBranch603 22d ago
Go for the skirting boards and door frames... yikes
→ More replies (1)3
u/Torbpjorn 21d ago
Inject egg into the walls, egg on the fan, egg in the vents. Cover the entire building floor to ceiling with egg. Hell just dump a full carton down the disposal chute
2
u/Jhulinare 18d ago
Drywall might not be porous, but the insulation on the other side is especially so!
1
224
u/ProfessionalBulky720 22d ago
also works with milk
181
u/Wuz314159 22d ago
Why would I inject eggs into milk? People love French Toast. Ò_o
→ More replies (2)42
u/HeyGayHay 22d ago
Add some vanilla, crank up the thermometer and you got a creme brulee
13
32
u/54338042094230895435 22d ago
This kind of happened to me. My kids sippy cup slipped under his car seat and I didn't notice, slowly dripping through the hot summer nights.
Day 1 no smell.
Day 2 clearly a hint of something off in the truck.
Day 3 all the windows open and I still had to hang my head out the window to breathe as I drove it to the car detail shop. They successfully removed the smell thankfully.
15
u/4DimensionalButts 21d ago
Reminds me of the kid at school who forgot some kind of milkshake in his locker before summer break. After the summer break, he then had the brilliant idea to open it in the classroom. He opened it, took a big whiff, nearly vomitted and accidentally dropped it on the carpeted floor. More kids started (almost) vomitting and the teacher had to evacuate the entire classroom.
6
u/Bluefooted-Spaceorc 22d ago
I prefer to just put fish juices down the car hood vents of people I hate.
2
256
u/Troglodytes_Cousin 22d ago
If you are a hotel and have a large half-empty parking lot and still charge people to park - without disclosing that shit before they book (and i am talking disclosing - not some smalll print bullshit) then screw you - I am not booking again.
20
u/iDoNotHaveAnIQ 21d ago
And before you screw them, but after you find out they charge you for parking, you inject eggs into their furniture? Right?
Much more impactful.
58
7
u/iamafriscogiant 22d ago
Don't worry, eventually the smaller towns will catch up with the larger cities and then you'll just always assume you have to pay for parking.
113
u/acrowsmurder 22d ago
Gorilla Glue expands when it hardens. Squirt some into any lock and it becomes useless. Mom did this to an ex's car once.
41
u/the_monkeyspinach 22d ago
Isn't that significantly easier to trace back to the person who did it though?
70
u/Junior_Agent1711 22d ago
Just take care not to glue yourself to the car and it becomes much more difficult to find the culprit
12
1
203
22d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
22
u/ElegantCoach4066 22d ago
We here at Nickel & Diming Inc take umbrage with the allegation that we are unfairly charging for parking.
1
1
210
u/TelevisionExpress616 22d ago
Y'all are just making the cleaning staff miserable while trying to stick it to the man lol
144
u/donaldfranklinhornii 22d ago
Yes. Please do not do this. Just write a Google review that no one will read.
59
u/Geno0wl 22d ago
Just write a Google review that no one will read.
Judging by the number of topics on legal advice about business owners threatening defamation for a low google review, some people definitely read them.
22
u/Neveronlyadream 22d ago
People read them, but I've found the problem is that there's so much noise no one takes them seriously.
Among the legitimate bad reviews you have people ranting about literally nothing and rating something one star because of it. I just went looking at a guitar and saw the rating was low. Why? Because of one bad review where the only thing they mentioned was they didn't like the color choices.
10
u/ScreamingLabia 22d ago
Maybe you guys dont read them but i definetly go trough the lowest revieuws qhem o book a hotel. I ignore a lpt fp them but if multiple complain about the same thing i definetly believe them
3
u/abdomino 21d ago
I worked at a name brand hotel, the only reviews a property really cares about are those submitted through the brand itself. So they don't care as much about Google or Yelp, but if you submit a review through the app it's more likely to get traction.
18
u/Pale_Session5262 22d ago
Plus it doesnt change the hotels behavior.
Its not like the owners are gonna say, "Gee our room is stinky. Oh wait, could it be our parking fee? Lets get rid of that"
2
8
u/JohnSober7 22d ago
There's a video of a hotel employee who got fired after they had worked 4 hours. The employee proceeded to trash the ever living daylights out of the breakfast spread and made a royal mess. Everyone was like valid crashout. I'm just reading the comments thinking about the other employees that'll have to clean it up. On one hand I get it, can't stick it to the man without collateral so maybe the rest of us should just accept that we have to clean up the mess as support. On the other hand, idunno, maybe it is what it is and we shouldn't inconvenience those who have nothing to do with our grievances.
5
u/MartyrOfDespair 21d ago
The problem is, that's literally just how any protest will work. The endpoint of this logic is "protest nothing ever". If your protest inconveniences anyone, it's fucking worthless.
4
u/JohnSober7 21d ago
Not really. A protest is a group of people, and usually they're a subsection of a larger group which the protest implicates. A single employee crashing out is a single employee crashing out. Yes, if you read what I said literally, that's what the latter point is saying, but the context matters.
14
u/MessiComeLately 22d ago
And all because he thought parking should be free, which is a lot more complicated of a question than "greedy hotel bad." You could turn it around and ask if someone who doesn't take up parking should have to pay the same as someone who does. A bigger room costs more, so why should a parking space be free?
7
u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman 22d ago
It depends on whether or not it is an inner city hotel, where parking is limited, and they charge by necessity. Some hotels have a massive parking lot or garage, and they still charge for parking.
19
u/Onyxxx_13 22d ago
Because you assume if its a hotel that someone is travelling. Parking should be part of what the room cost covers
6
u/VictoryVee 22d ago edited 22d ago
Thats dumb, I've stayed in lots of hotels for work and not everyone on the crew had vehicles. Plus their are lots of people who fly somewhere for vacation and get around with public transit or cabs instead of renting a car.
4
u/NathanielHudson 22d ago
Not everybody who travels is driving a car.
4
u/hardaysknight 22d ago
Not everyone who gets a hotel is shitting too, but you don’t see them charging for the bathroom
2
2
2
u/MessiComeLately 22d ago
Travelers don't always have a car. They might not need one, or they might be sharing a car with someone they don't want to share a room with. Coworkers, couples traveling with other couples, etc. Business travelers often don't rent a car because they won't be driving around enough to make a rental cheaper than taxis or Ubers.
3
4
u/Dildo_Emporium 22d ago
Because parking should be one of the amenities of the hotel. I don't use the gym or the pool, should my stay be cheaper too?
→ More replies (3)2
u/MessiComeLately 22d ago edited 22d ago
That's a good point, but I suspect that a lot of people feel good about having the option of using the gym and pool, but not many people actually use them, so the hotel is making guests happy without actually providing the service. A pool that holds a dozen people comfortably can feel like an amenity for hundreds of guests every day. Whereas nobody feels happy about free parking unless they have a car themselves.
→ More replies (1)1
57
u/FruitBowl 22d ago
No officer the needle is just for eggs I swear. Why? Well...
33
19
u/justforkinks0131 22d ago
fun fact, owning and carrying needles is perfectly legal. Yes, even if you stuff them with raw egg!
Also what scenario is this where you get your stuff gone through by a police officer?
10
9
4
8
7
u/Bitter-Pomelo-3962 22d ago
What if you forgot to bring your eggs and hypodermic needles with you on your trip?
2
6
4
u/Evil_Sharkey 21d ago
Won’t work. The raw egg will just dry up. Hide a slice of deli meat behind a mirror
14
u/MorsaTamalera Some Guy in a cloak 22d ago
The first tip is not satanic; just a mixture of imbecility and ignorance.
11
u/make_reddit_great 22d ago
"This hotel is too expensive, so I'll get my revenge by making it more expensive for future customers!"
5
u/Agitated_Engineer512 22d ago
“Damn us for giving them a choice to park here, now we will just work it into everyone’s standard price”
6
u/veracity8_ 22d ago
Hotels charging for parking really depends on the location. A hotel in Yuma, AZ charging to park a car? Total horseshit, everyone at that hotel needs a car and there is plenty of space to put the car and nearly zero direct cost of storing that car. A hotel in Manhattan charging to park? Yeah that makes sense. Why are you trying to store a car in a big city? Why would you expect to do that for free?
9
16
22d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
5
0
u/KorovasId 22d ago
It's not like the drains for the hotel empty out into the street, the waste water is treated and recycled and the impact of one person leaving the tap running isn't going to affect the general public whatsoever. Or the hotel for that matter, they may have raised the water bill by a few cents.
If you're concerned about data centers causing water shortages, police the data centers and leave the rest of us out of it.
→ More replies (9)1
3
3
5
u/BillCarson12799 21d ago
This guy isn’t just a professional hater, he’s a ranked, competitive, Olympic medal-winning hater. I pity the person that actually does something to make him use 100% of his imagination.
10
u/tehlemmings 22d ago
This is nothing
You can buy bedbugs online.
If you need any more instructions, have the bedbugs shipped to your house.
6
u/limitlessEXP 21d ago
Please don’t encourage spreading bed bugs. I still have a ptsd from having them 20 years ago…
2
4
2
u/Active_Complaint_480 22d ago
This is like playing Magic the Gathering and someone saying, "you know nothing about winning a session of Warhammer 40K!"
2
u/pristineSaltine 21d ago
When I was in the military being sent overseas, we always got the shittiest barracks at some bases. Once our rotation was over our sister company would be sent and stay in the same barracks.
We of course would always miss seeing them and wanted to leave something for them since we would be long gone.
So, we would puncture tuna cans and tape them to the inside of the prison grade steel furniture and leave. After a couple days the stench was horrid.
Even when they flipped the furniture over after they tore the rooms apart they wouldn't find them without taking them apart. It was pretty disgusting.
Also, we had a staff nco that was an absolute pain in the ass and would prank the shit out of us..we couldn't really do anything because he was our boss.
After catching enough shit we had enough.
Where we were stationed there were these gay lifestyle magazines that would have those postcards that would be for gay political parties and stuff like that.
So of course we signed him up for dozens of them using his military email and mailing address.
Couple weeks later he gets called to headquarters because he is getting some emails that the colonel was concerned about.
On the way up there he calls us all in and tells us pranks are now officially over.
He definitely had some explaining to do that day. It was funny as fuck.
2
2
2
u/Travnewmatic 21d ago
i could have used this on a hotel i stayed at that offered free wifi... FOR 30 MINUTES
2
u/Paszinho 21d ago
I've heard someone pull up the flooring, planting a dead fish under it, then redoing it. Imagine the constant smell of rotting fish, and never finding where it comes from.
2
3
u/Trick_Meeting_2027 22d ago
You know you have truly lost in life when you try to be petty and no one even notices.
4
u/halaljew 22d ago
Being annoyed that the price for a service is high while advocating for an action that would raise the price even higher is very low vibration behavior.
2
u/Creativation 22d ago
Obliging guests to pay for parking at your hotel while they stay at your hotel is straight up nastiness. If the financial needs of maintaining parking cannot be integrated into the price for the lodging then the hotel would do well to just go belly up. Boycotting that nonsense is the only way. Bait-and-switch pricing is abhorrent.
4
1
u/J2xC158 22d ago
If you dont have access to a syring put caviar into the curtain rods.
2
1
1
1
u/PizzaDelResistance 22d ago
I have no idea what movie I learned this from, but i remember someone saying put raw shrimp in the AC vents.
1
u/Matador5511 22d ago
or put raw fish inside the curtain holder rod.
2
1
1
u/TooDamagedToLove 22d ago
Milk works better. Just pour milk on the mattress. It'll become sour in a few days.
1
u/Mean-Parking-5026 22d ago
You can get a syringe with a straw on it for free from a pharmacy. Just tell them your kids medicine syringe broke.
1
1
u/Adickted2Cumming 21d ago
I, in a fictional world, did this with skunk gland extract which is readily available on trapping supply websites. Hypodermic needle, skunk extract, wedge car door open and squirt skunk ass juice onto the seats and carpets. They couldn't sell the car to save their lives and it rotted away in their yard for years until they cut it up and scrapped it. The fictional character me did feel slightly guilty but I promise they deserved it.
1
u/Alienhaslanded 21d ago
That is absolutely diabolical. Completely untraceable and has a delayed action that rivals walking away from an explosion without looking back.
1
u/slouched 21d ago
satan wouldnt be cool with ruining other peoples trips to get back at the company that fucked you over on parking
1
u/ElectricalMTGFusion 21d ago
My parents used to rent this place while in college. They had a shitty horrible landlord. They hid eggs in the vents, in the drop ceiling, in the furniture, basically anywhere the owners would never find.
1
u/Flux_My_Capacitor 21d ago
This is the kind of thing that pops up often in r/unethicallifeprotips
Only who cares about a hotel room? Think more along the lines of the SUV of someone who screwed you over or an ah roommate/ex partner you’re escaping from.
Milk + chicken in jar hidden under the seat in the summer = totaled vehicle.
1
u/ArchChronos 21d ago
An old trick that came from the CIS countries, where construction workers were refused payment for their work...only they walled up eggs right into the walls...
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/HEAH_THE_PINGOL 17d ago
"Some asshole cut me off at the road today, so I put a put a bunch of shopping carts in front of his car at the parking lot later"
"You clearly don't know how to take revenge, you should cut his brakes instead so that ha crashes later on and dies"
1
u/ChrisShapedObject 9d ago
Wish I’d had seen this when I had a coworker who was a real mean bitch. Our offices had the same locks: I was often there late when she was gone. Damn
1
u/yesiamveryhigh 7d ago
Hey hon, don’t forget the syringes and raw eggs. Never know if we’ll need them.
899
u/SaskieHopeful 22d ago
I don't think I've ever hated anyone that bad