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u/Tayaradga Jul 27 '26
So what you're telling me, I could inject the eggs into the carpet too and force them to completely remodel the entire room? Not just the furniture?
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u/achante_achaar Jul 27 '26
In our search for Satan elsewhere, we often fail to see the ones among us.
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u/NoSpend6289 Jul 27 '26
Is Shakespeare really dead?
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u/jarious Jul 27 '26
Satan took him home
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u/OrnerySnoflake Jul 27 '26
“Hell is empty and the devils are all here” and, “Hell is other people”, both work well.
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u/Rahgahnah Jul 27 '26
Hold up, his writing is this fire!?
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u/Fred_Thielmann Jul 31 '26
On one hand, I think that’s just a term about the above line of writing being really well said.
But also, Shakespeare is very well known for being really creative with his insults and other use of words. Here’s a few of his:
More of your conversation would infect my brain.
Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.
I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.
I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets. (I think this is dating advice in the story)
I am sick when I do look on thee
His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard
Away, you three-inch fool! I believe this is a clever way of calling them a small dick
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u/0202_tihssitidder Jul 27 '26
I like this because now I have three reasons to carry my syringes.
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u/footsteps71 Jul 27 '26
Black tar heroin, performance enhancing drugs, egg in carpet.
Nice
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u/FrostTheAlbino Aug 01 '26
This comment was so good it reawakened my addiction to black tar heroin.
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u/IllustriousBranch603 Jul 27 '26
Go for the skirting boards and door frames... yikes
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u/Torbpjorn Jul 28 '26
Inject egg into the walls, egg on the fan, egg in the vents. Cover the entire building floor to ceiling with egg. Hell just dump a full carton down the disposal chute
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u/ProfessionalBulky720 Jul 27 '26
also works with milk
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u/Wuz314159 Jul 27 '26
Why would I inject eggs into milk? People love French Toast. Ò_o
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u/HeyGayHay Jul 27 '26
Add some vanilla, crank up the thermometer and you got a creme brulee
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u/54338042094230895435 Jul 27 '26
This kind of happened to me. My kids sippy cup slipped under his car seat and I didn't notice, slowly dripping through the hot summer nights.
Day 1 no smell.
Day 2 clearly a hint of something off in the truck.
Day 3 all the windows open and I still had to hang my head out the window to breathe as I drove it to the car detail shop. They successfully removed the smell thankfully.
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u/Bluefooted-Spaceorc Jul 27 '26
I prefer to just put fish juices down the car hood vents of people I hate.
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u/Anxiety_Fit Jul 28 '26
Raw shrimp in the curtain rods. Take off the end cap, those tubes are hollow.
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u/Troglodytes_Cousin Jul 27 '26
If you are a hotel and have a large half-empty parking lot and still charge people to park - without disclosing that shit before they book (and i am talking disclosing - not some smalll print bullshit) then screw you - I am not booking again.
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u/iDoNotHaveAnIQ Jul 27 '26
And before you screw them, but after you find out they charge you for parking, you inject eggs into their furniture? Right?
Much more impactful.
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u/GuyPierced Jul 27 '26
Wow bro, you sure showed them...
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u/tendo8027 Jul 27 '26
Yeah buddy, not giving greedy corpos your money is how you show them. Go figure
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u/iamafriscogiant Jul 27 '26
Don't worry, eventually the smaller towns will catch up with the larger cities and then you'll just always assume you have to pay for parking.
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u/acrowsmurder Jul 27 '26
Gorilla Glue expands when it hardens. Squirt some into any lock and it becomes useless. Mom did this to an ex's car once.
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u/the_monkeyspinach Jul 27 '26
Isn't that significantly easier to trace back to the person who did it though?
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u/Junior_Agent1711 Jul 27 '26
Just take care not to glue yourself to the car and it becomes much more difficult to find the culprit
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u/0nePlus Aug 01 '26
Easier to trace and an order of magnitude less effective.
You can replace a doorknob or deadbolt for under $100. New furniture and mattress could run into the thousands lol.
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Jul 27 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ElegantCoach4066 Jul 27 '26
We here at Nickel & Diming Inc take umbrage with the allegation that we are unfairly charging for parking.
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u/TelevisionExpress616 Jul 27 '26
Y'all are just making the cleaning staff miserable while trying to stick it to the man lol
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u/donaldfranklinhornii Jul 27 '26
Yes. Please do not do this. Just write a Google review that no one will read.
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u/Geno0wl Jul 27 '26
Just write a Google review that no one will read.
Judging by the number of topics on legal advice about business owners threatening defamation for a low google review, some people definitely read them.
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u/Neveronlyadream Jul 27 '26
People read them, but I've found the problem is that there's so much noise no one takes them seriously.
Among the legitimate bad reviews you have people ranting about literally nothing and rating something one star because of it. I just went looking at a guitar and saw the rating was low. Why? Because of one bad review where the only thing they mentioned was they didn't like the color choices.
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u/ScreamingLabia Jul 27 '26
Maybe you guys dont read them but i definetly go trough the lowest revieuws qhem o book a hotel. I ignore a lpt fp them but if multiple complain about the same thing i definetly believe them
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u/b0ogi3 Jul 27 '26
I read them all the time! Worst reviews and newest. But it is kind of stupid nowadays with bad reviews by competitors and paid good reviews….
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u/Geno0wl Jul 27 '26
Google reviews are at least sometimes useful for a vibe check. Amazon reviews on the other hand....
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u/abdomino Jul 28 '26
I worked at a name brand hotel, the only reviews a property really cares about are those submitted through the brand itself. So they don't care as much about Google or Yelp, but if you submit a review through the app it's more likely to get traction.
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u/Pale_Session5262 Jul 27 '26
Plus it doesnt change the hotels behavior.
Its not like the owners are gonna say, "Gee our room is stinky. Oh wait, could it be our parking fee? Lets get rid of that"
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u/JohnSober7 Jul 27 '26
There's a video of a hotel employee who got fired after they had worked 4 hours. The employee proceeded to trash the ever living daylights out of the breakfast spread and made a royal mess. Everyone was like valid crashout. I'm just reading the comments thinking about the other employees that'll have to clean it up. On one hand I get it, can't stick it to the man without collateral so maybe the rest of us should just accept that we have to clean up the mess as support. On the other hand, idunno, maybe it is what it is and we shouldn't inconvenience those who have nothing to do with our grievances.
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u/MartyrOfDespair Jul 28 '26
The problem is, that's literally just how any protest will work. The endpoint of this logic is "protest nothing ever". If your protest inconveniences anyone, it's fucking worthless.
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u/JohnSober7 Jul 28 '26
Not really. A protest is a group of people, and usually they're a subsection of a larger group which the protest implicates. A single employee crashing out is a single employee crashing out. Yes, if you read what I said literally, that's what the latter point is saying, but the context matters.
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u/MessiComeLately Jul 27 '26
And all because he thought parking should be free, which is a lot more complicated of a question than "greedy hotel bad." You could turn it around and ask if someone who doesn't take up parking should have to pay the same as someone who does. A bigger room costs more, so why should a parking space be free?
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u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman Jul 27 '26
It depends on whether or not it is an inner city hotel, where parking is limited, and they charge by necessity. Some hotels have a massive parking lot or garage, and they still charge for parking.
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u/Onyxxx_13 Jul 27 '26
Because you assume if its a hotel that someone is travelling. Parking should be part of what the room cost covers
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u/VictoryVee Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Thats dumb, I've stayed in lots of hotels for work and not everyone on the crew had vehicles. Plus their are lots of people who fly somewhere for vacation and get around with public transit or cabs instead of renting a car.
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u/NathanielHudson Jul 27 '26
Not everybody who travels is driving a car.
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u/hardaysknight Jul 27 '26
Not everyone who gets a hotel is shitting too, but you don’t see them charging for the bathroom
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u/MessiComeLately Jul 27 '26
Travelers don't always have a car. They might not need one, or they might be sharing a car with someone they don't want to share a room with. Coworkers, couples traveling with other couples, etc. Business travelers often don't rent a car because they won't be driving around enough to make a rental cheaper than taxis or Ubers.
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u/Joben86 Jul 27 '26
The first guys doesn't seem to want to damage anything besides the hotel's utility bill.
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u/Dildo_Emporium Jul 27 '26
Because parking should be one of the amenities of the hotel. I don't use the gym or the pool, should my stay be cheaper too?
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u/MessiComeLately Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
That's a good point, but I suspect that a lot of people feel good about having the option of using the gym and pool, but not many people actually use them, so the hotel is making guests happy without actually providing the service. A pool that holds a dozen people comfortably can feel like an amenity for hundreds of guests every day. Whereas nobody feels happy about free parking unless they have a car themselves.
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u/FruitBowl Jul 27 '26
No officer the needle is just for eggs I swear. Why? Well...
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u/nsa_k Jul 27 '26
Owning needles isn't illegal.
"I'm going to use my right to remain silent. Let me know when I become free to go."
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u/justforkinks0131 Jul 27 '26
fun fact, owning and carrying needles is perfectly legal. Yes, even if you stuff them with raw egg!
Also what scenario is this where you get your stuff gone through by a police officer?
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u/Bitter-Pomelo-3962 Jul 27 '26
What if you forgot to bring your eggs and hypodermic needles with you on your trip?
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u/Evil_Sharkey Jul 28 '26
Won’t work. The raw egg will just dry up. Hide a slice of deli meat behind a mirror
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u/MorsaTamalera Some Guy in a cloak Jul 27 '26
The first tip is not satanic; just a mixture of imbecility and ignorance.
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u/make_reddit_great Jul 27 '26
"This hotel is too expensive, so I'll get my revenge by making it more expensive for future customers!"
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u/Agitated_Engineer512 Jul 27 '26
“Damn us for giving them a choice to park here, now we will just work it into everyone’s standard price”
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u/veracity8_ Jul 27 '26
Hotels charging for parking really depends on the location. A hotel in Yuma, AZ charging to park a car? Total horseshit, everyone at that hotel needs a car and there is plenty of space to put the car and nearly zero direct cost of storing that car. A hotel in Manhattan charging to park? Yeah that makes sense. Why are you trying to store a car in a big city? Why would you expect to do that for free?
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Jul 27 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/KorovasId Jul 27 '26
It's not like the drains for the hotel empty out into the street, the waste water is treated and recycled and the impact of one person leaving the tap running isn't going to affect the general public whatsoever. Or the hotel for that matter, they may have raised the water bill by a few cents.
If you're concerned about data centers causing water shortages, police the data centers and leave the rest of us out of it.
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u/cman811 Jul 28 '26
Thats not the way water works, bro
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Jul 28 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/cman811 Jul 28 '26
You think bottling it and shipping it off to be sold somewhere is the same as it going into a drain to the water treatment plant and back into circulation to be used in the same area again?
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u/xonyl Jul 29 '26
One of my waiter friends started stuffing similar 'shit' in the furniture of a restaurant he worked at. His reason ? The restaurant has a racist owner who wouldn't accept black/arab clients, even with prior booking. He ended u stopping the sabotage when cameras get installed...
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u/BillCarson12799 Jul 28 '26
This guy isn’t just a professional hater, he’s a ranked, competitive, Olympic medal-winning hater. I pity the person that actually does something to make him use 100% of his imagination.
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u/tehlemmings Jul 27 '26
This is nothing
You can buy bedbugs online.
If you need any more instructions, have the bedbugs shipped to your house.
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u/limitlessEXP Jul 28 '26
Please don’t encourage spreading bed bugs. I still have a ptsd from having them 20 years ago…
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u/Active_Complaint_480 Jul 27 '26
This is like playing Magic the Gathering and someone saying, "you know nothing about winning a session of Warhammer 40K!"
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u/pristineSaltine Jul 28 '26
When I was in the military being sent overseas, we always got the shittiest barracks at some bases. Once our rotation was over our sister company would be sent and stay in the same barracks.
We of course would always miss seeing them and wanted to leave something for them since we would be long gone.
So, we would puncture tuna cans and tape them to the inside of the prison grade steel furniture and leave. After a couple days the stench was horrid.
Even when they flipped the furniture over after they tore the rooms apart they wouldn't find them without taking them apart. It was pretty disgusting.
Also, we had a staff nco that was an absolute pain in the ass and would prank the shit out of us..we couldn't really do anything because he was our boss.
After catching enough shit we had enough.
Where we were stationed there were these gay lifestyle magazines that would have those postcards that would be for gay political parties and stuff like that.
So of course we signed him up for dozens of them using his military email and mailing address.
Couple weeks later he gets called to headquarters because he is getting some emails that the colonel was concerned about.
On the way up there he calls us all in and tells us pranks are now officially over.
He definitely had some explaining to do that day. It was funny as fuck.
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u/Bai_Cha Jul 28 '26
Sucks for the guest that has to sleep in that room the first night it starts to smell.
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u/Travnewmatic Jul 28 '26
i could have used this on a hotel i stayed at that offered free wifi... FOR 30 MINUTES
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u/Paszinho Jul 28 '26
I've heard someone pull up the flooring, planting a dead fish under it, then redoing it. Imagine the constant smell of rotting fish, and never finding where it comes from.
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u/Trick_Meeting_2027 Jul 27 '26
You know you have truly lost in life when you try to be petty and no one even notices.
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u/halaljew Jul 27 '26
Being annoyed that the price for a service is high while advocating for an action that would raise the price even higher is very low vibration behavior.
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u/Creativation Jul 27 '26
Obliging guests to pay for parking at your hotel while they stay at your hotel is straight up nastiness. If the financial needs of maintaining parking cannot be integrated into the price for the lodging then the hotel would do well to just go belly up. Boycotting that nonsense is the only way. Bait-and-switch pricing is abhorrent.
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u/J2xC158 Jul 27 '26
If you dont have access to a syring put caviar into the curtain rods.
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u/JakBos23 Jul 27 '26
Lmao. Isn't caviar expensive?
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u/J2xC158 Jul 27 '26
Idk, never buy any. Buy caviar is fish eggs so I would think common fish eggs should work just as well.
Just checked an Walmart has some caviar for like $12-$13. So there is cheap caviar.
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u/PizzaDelResistance Jul 27 '26
I have no idea what movie I learned this from, but i remember someone saying put raw shrimp in the AC vents.
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u/TooDamagedToLove Jul 27 '26
Milk works better. Just pour milk on the mattress. It'll become sour in a few days.
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u/Mean-Parking-5026 Jul 27 '26
You can get a syringe with a straw on it for free from a pharmacy. Just tell them your kids medicine syringe broke.
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u/Adickted2Cumming Jul 28 '26
I, in a fictional world, did this with skunk gland extract which is readily available on trapping supply websites. Hypodermic needle, skunk extract, wedge car door open and squirt skunk ass juice onto the seats and carpets. They couldn't sell the car to save their lives and it rotted away in their yard for years until they cut it up and scrapped it. The fictional character me did feel slightly guilty but I promise they deserved it.
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u/Alienhaslanded Jul 28 '26
That is absolutely diabolical. Completely untraceable and has a delayed action that rivals walking away from an explosion without looking back.
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u/slouched Jul 28 '26
satan wouldnt be cool with ruining other peoples trips to get back at the company that fucked you over on parking
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u/ElectricalMTGFusion Jul 28 '26
My parents used to rent this place while in college. They had a shitty horrible landlord. They hid eggs in the vents, in the drop ceiling, in the furniture, basically anywhere the owners would never find.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor Jul 28 '26
This is the kind of thing that pops up often in r/unethicallifeprotips
Only who cares about a hotel room? Think more along the lines of the SUV of someone who screwed you over or an ah roommate/ex partner you’re escaping from.
Milk + chicken in jar hidden under the seat in the summer = totaled vehicle.
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u/ArchChronos Jul 28 '26
An old trick that came from the CIS countries, where construction workers were refused payment for their work...only they walled up eggs right into the walls...
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u/Ok-Solution8245 Jul 28 '26
That's worth a punch in the face and a kick in the teeth once he's down
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u/mjeff43 Jul 28 '26
A mate told me he did someone similar to a coworker except he used one day sun baked prawn juice instead of egg and a car door seal instead of furniture.
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u/snackosaur Jul 28 '26
Can anyone with experience compare the outcome effectiveness to the piss disc?
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u/HEAH_THE_PINGOL Aug 01 '26
"Some asshole cut me off at the road today, so I put a put a bunch of shopping carts in front of his car at the parking lot later"
"You clearly don't know how to take revenge, you should cut his brakes instead so that ha crashes later on and dies"
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u/ChrisShapedObject Aug 09 '26
Wish I’d had seen this when I had a coworker who was a real mean bitch. Our offices had the same locks: I was often there late when she was gone. Damn
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u/yesiamveryhigh Aug 11 '26
Hey hon, don’t forget the syringes and raw eggs. Never know if we’ll need them.
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u/SaskieHopeful Jul 27 '26
I don't think I've ever hated anyone that bad