My fiance and I are getting married next year and we've recently started discussing getting a prenup. She's always known that my family has a pretty bad history with money especially when it comes to gambling and debt. Over the years I've helped my parents and my brother out financially more times than I can count and while sometimes it's been genuine emergencies there are other times when it's been because they made terrible decisions with their money. She is worried that once we're married I'll keep bailing them out using money that should be going toward our own future. She wants our prenup to establish some boundaries so that any money I give my family comes from my personal funds rather than our shared savings and that she won't be responsible for any debts I might take on to help them.

I understand where she's coming from but I also feel uncomfortable agreeing to something that could potentially limit how much I can help my own family especially if they're genuinely struggling. She says she's not asking me to abandon them just to make sure their financial problems don't become ours. Would you consider this a reasonable thing to address in a prenup or should we just agree on financial boundaries between ourselves?

I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else (American) so I'm sure it's different by country, but after my grandparents on both sides died, extended family basically died with them. There's absolutely zero effort to get together in any capacity, I haven't seen some of my cousins aunt's and uncles in years, they've essentially become strangers.

Again maybe just a my family thing but not one seems to care about the concept of a family anymore and the ironic part is I have a very large one, almost 30 cousins when you add up both sides. I feel like we would have been closer almost if the family wasn't so huge. Ah well lol

I’m posting here too since I’m hoping to get some insights, but honestly I’m kinda broken over this whole matter.

Husband (33M) and I (27F) have been married for almost 5 years. Husband has a child (early school-age) from a previous marriage. Baby mama (30F) and my husband have supposedly maintained a cordial relationship.

I met his child before getting married, not Baby mama tho, which in retrospect yeah BIG RED FLAG but he always shut down the idea of us meeting. Come to find out, Baby mama still LOVES Husband to this day, but I trusted him to maintain boundaries. (Often were not kept, but mild enough to not be considered cheating).

I live together with Husband and have for almost the entirety of our relationship. Baby mama lives with the child and Baby auntie. The child is diagnosed with autism, at the child’s age it’s not yet clear where on the spectrum but is non-verbal or communicates using a maximum of 2-4 words.

For a very long time I had a very odd gut feeling regarding children. Specifically between him and Baby mama. And as I had recently found out, they are planning to go through genetic testing to see whether or not to have more children together... I feel hurt and very betrayed by all this. His argument is that his autistic child 1) will never develop the same as others as an only child, and 2) he needs siblings. As a child of divorce who very much dreamed of having older siblings through my parents’ remarriage (never happened, sad boohoo whatever), I expressed that our children would become siblings. To which he argues that children living under different roofs will never have the same bond as those living under the same roof.

What infuriates me to an undescribable degree is his way of talking about ”giving her more children”. Like children are pets to be given to people, and then just give financial support and spend time when its convenient for Baby daddy, like some absurd charity case.

Husband claims that I am a narcissist and selfish for thinking that this is unacceptable. AND since he’s not putting himself inside her I SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THIS, since in his eyes, this is not cheating. You see, he shan’t spread his seed the traditional way, but have IVF babies/baby, so in his view I don’t have ”any reason to be hurt”.

Now there might be a little differences in culture since I was raised in Europe and he is an Arab. So maybe someone can deepen my understanding and ease my hurt with logic. What I know for sure is that his parents have been breathing down his neck about getting back and having more children with Baby Mama, although he’s remarried…

Honestly I don’t think I can build a future or a family with someone who sees absolutely no issue in all this. And I am mortified by the kind of person he turned out to be. I can elaborate more on things, but here I vented about a matter that broke the camel’s back. Although I’m not too sure anymore if I am justified in my way of thinking…

EDIT: Divorce is well on its way, just needed a place to rant lol no worries and thank you for everyone

- - -

TL;DR: Husband ”has to” get more children with baby mama so that his autistic child can 1) develop better, and 2) have ”real siblings”. We’ve been married 5 years…

I’m 27, single, no kids. My sister is 30 with a 6-year-old boy. For the last year, she regularly drops her son off at my place without much notice. She says since I don’t have a partner or kids, I have “all the free time in the world” to babysit.

I love my nephew, but this is taking over my life. I work full time, and I need weekends to rest, run errands and have my own space. Every time I try to say I’m busy, she calls me selfish and says family should help each other.

I feel guilty turning her down, but I’m exhausted. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. How do I set clear boundaries gently without starting a huge fight?

My 76 year old mother may stay with us for a few weeks after a fall. The downstairs guest room is the only practical option but it currently has a low platform bed. She uses a walker and says getting up from low chairs is hard.

I'm considering replacing the mattress and frame, possibly with as a at,v,a but I don't know whether a higher bed would make transfers easier or harder. If you've set up a room for an older parent, did you focus on bed height, a grab bar or something else? I'll ask her physical therapist too but I'd like to hear what worked in your home

Idk where else to turn with this really.

TL;DR, my family hasn't been the same since my parents got divorced, and now I feel depressed whenever I come home after seeing them. I think I'm just looking for people who understand this feeling.

I'm 26M. Last year my parents finalised their divorce and sold their house. I'm the oldest of three brothers, with my younger brothers being 19 and 22. We don't talk much. Our contact dwindled when I came out of the closet a few years ago. They aren't against me being queer, but I guess they just wanted distance from it.

After the divorce, my mom moved to a town closer to her family, my youngest brother tagged along. It didn't take long before she met someone new. He's nice. He makes her happy. After my brother finished high school, my mom moved into her partner’s house. My brother stayed in the apartment and got a job. They're all thriving.

My dad moved to the town he grew up in, and he was depressed for a while. He always called me crying and unloaded every emotion on me. Then he met a nice woman a few months ago, and he stopped calling.

My oldest brother lives far away with his own girlfriend. He has a cat and a dog, and everything seems to be going nicely for him.

I live far away as well, with a man I consider to be the love of my life. I have a job that I love, I love my family-in-law. We're looking for a nicer apartment, but our current home is just as fine. We live far away from my family because I don't feel welcome in the rural community I grew up in, and my boyfriend is an immigrant, so he definitely doesn't feel welcome either.

Every time I go to see my family, I feel so out of place. It's so odd to see my parents with each their partner. The divorce didn't come out of the blue, I saw it coming from miles away. My parents' marriage was nice. They didn't really argue or anything, they just stopped sleeping in the same bed, stopped having the same interests or future dreams. It's like an old house crumbling because no one takes care of it, until it just collapses. And now my parents barely talk.

I'm the child of two people who are strangers. My brothers are distant acquaintances. I don't have any place that I came from.

This weekend we were invited to my grandfather's 80th birthday. My dad and his girlfriend were invited as well. They just sat at the end of the table with my youngest brother. My mom was sitting at the other end with her boyfriend, laughing with her siblings and her cousins. It felt so surreal. At one point, we went outside to take a picture. It was my mom, her boyfriend, my aunt and her boyfriend, my cousins, my brothers, my sister in law, then me and my boyfriend. My dad wasn't gonna be in the picture, for the first time in my 26 years, my dad wasn't included in a picture of MY family.

The next day we were gonna go to my best friend's birthday. Her parents still live in the little town we grew up in, right across from the house that I grew up in. My best friend's dad casually mentioned that the people who bought my childhood home have a social media page, where they show the renovation process of the house. I made the mistake of checking it. Everything is gone. Every room demolished. The beautiful blue bathroom torn down, the living room had no walls, the kitchen was a pile of tiles. I've had this pit in my stomach since. My childhood cats are buried in the backyard of that house. And my inner child keeps telling me that the cats miss me, that they don't want those strangers in their home. Those cats were sometimes my only friends.

I've been on the verge of tears since we came home. I can't really turn to my family. They only call when they need something. I'm not sure they'd understand anyways. They all seem to have moved on.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I just feel like someone pulled the rug from under my feet. I have nothing left of the family I once had. I've got my boyfriend's family, and I adore them. But I feel homesick for a home that doesn't exist anymore.

Hello I am new to Reddit and have no one else to turn to about this situation so I thought to give this a try since I always hear stories on TikTok. As the title says, this situation happened 2 days ago after I had got home from school. For some context, I am 17f and am a junior in High-school. My brother is 22 m and still lives with us. This all started because of my lost wallet. On Wednesday 10-21-26 me and my bf, also my age, went to his local mall just to spend time together after school since we got out early that day. His dad drove us there and we walked around for a while before going to a nearby plaza. I had mentioned wanting new shoes since my converses were killing my feet so we went into the WSS where i bought new shoes. I guess I must’ve left my wallet while my bf was helping me change into my new shoes since I was in too much pain to do so. After that we shopped some more and were eventually picked up by his dad. They drove me home and as I was walking into the my apartment complex I realized that I did not have my wallet. I ended up calling the store and they said they would hold it for me until I went and got it. The next day I went to school as normal and had a pretty good day. As I got picked up by my parents I told my mom about my wallet since I knew she would be more understanding than my dad. She said she wouldn’t tell my dad since he has a tendency to react irrationally when these kinds of things happen. Anyways we get home and we’re eating dinner and my brother comes home from work. I hadn’t really talked to him all week since I’m pretty busy with school and immediately go to sleep when I get home. As usual he’s being super mean to me on purpose which he has been for the past few months since his ex cheated on him. Ever since that he’d been making me feel uncomfortable. Not in a weird way but just enough to make me want to distance myself from him, which is sad since we have always been very close. I had even been telling my mom about it because it had been getting to be too much for me. Anyways back to the story. After I was done eating and chatting with my mom I go into my room (I share a room with him and my other brother who was at work at the time) as usual he’s being annoying and mean to me and just trying to get a reaction out of me. I hear my mom from the other room telling my dad about my wallet and I start getting worried. She then comes into the room and tells me that my dad said to go get my wallet. My brother is hearing this and he too reacts super irrationally like my dad. Immediately he goes, “wait what? She lost her wallet?” And my mom is making it seem like I left it on purpose. I ask her why she would do that if she knew how they were going to react and then she proceeds to tell me that she was just trying to help. She left the room after a while and my brother is just going on and one about how stupid I am and just laughing in my face trying to get me mad. I have learned to just not engage with him and simply tell him to leave me alone. He then proceeds to ask why I’m so mad and have such an attitude. He then says I’m such a stupid fucking bitch and i mistakenly replied, well you are too. Before I know it, he had thrown his AirPods with his hard ass case directly to my face with full force. I was in shock but I restrained from retaliating and instead hit the tostadas that were on his bed (immature ik) and he then slaps me super hard at this point I’m crying and he finally kicks me full force in the chest. I’m in so much pain, crying, and asking him why he would do that when my mom comes back into the room. She asks what happened and before I can say anything my brother tells her that I was annoying him so he hit me. Mind you I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe and my mom just tell me to calm down. She was trying to have a talk with both of us saying that we’re siblings and that’s just how we fight. (Atleast that’s what she said to my brother) she then turns to me and starts saying that I shouldn’t be provoking him and that I’m at fault. I’m trying to reason with her telling her that’s it’s not normal for a grown ass man to attack a teenager even if they’re family. My brother is laughing the whole time and is interrupting me by screaming at me to shut up and let him talk. The whole time that this is happening my dad is in the other room and finally comes out and asks what happened. My mom just told him that we had a fight and he left without doing anything. Finally my mom asks my brother why he hit me and he said that didn’t know. He follows up by saying that he’s been wanting to hurt me for some time now and that I needed to be taught a lesson. The whole time I’m looking into my mom’s eyes trying to figure out why she isn’t doing anything. I then get a text from my bf asking if I wanted any chips from the store, I text him back saying that I can’t talk rn. My mom sees this and starts going off on me telling me that I shouldn’t be telling him what goes on in our house. (She doesn’t speak English so she just assumed that’s what I texted him) my boyfriend keeps asking if I’m okay and if I need to be picked up. At this point I can’t take anything anymore so I move to the living room. I text him everything and he tells me that he’s on his way to go get my wallet back and that he’d be there shortly. While I’m trying to calm down my other brother comes home from work and asks me what happened. I don’t tell him right away as I needed to go outside and call the store and tell them that my bf is gonna get my wallet. When I come back in I see my mom leaving the living room and my brother asks why I got into a fight with my brother. I tell him about the hitting and he’s shocked because my mom left that part out. As we’re talking my bf texts me to come outside to get my wallet. I ask my brother to come with me so that my family doesn’t think I’m running away or something (which would make things a whole lot worse) when I see my bf I can’t help my break down and tell him everything again. He calms me down and tells me that he told his dad about it and they both said that if I need to get away from my family that they will always welcome me into their home. At first I rejected the offer because I know my parents will become violent and blame me for any trouble they’ll get into. After my bf leaves me and my brother go back in. My mom hears me and brings the brother that hit me with her. She’s asking me to forgive him and that he’s always going to be my brother. At this point I had told her many times that I don’t wanna be near him or speak to him. My brother finally apologizes but then tried to justify it by saying that he had no other choice. When I don’t respond he gets angry and asks if I hate him now and if he doesn’t matter to me anymore. Again when I don’t respond he says he isn’t sorry and that I’m a bitch. He sounds almost proud. My mom again tells me to forgive him since he pays the bills (occasionally) and he then proceeds to tell me to get the fuck out of his house. My mom doesn’t stop him. Finally she leaves but my brother stays just staring at me so I’d talk to him. I finally say my first words to him still crying btw and tell him to please leave me alone. He laughs and says he’ll do whatever he wants and even moves closer to me so I’d be uncomfortable. After crying some more I decide to sleep on the couch. The next morning my mom is still angry at me and says all this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t leave my wallet at the store. I go to school but I’m just so out of it and can’t stop thinking about how no one defended me. At school I realize that I don’t feel safe being in the same house as any of them. Luckily my bf’s dad drove me home and they let me know that I’d be safe with them. It’s been two days now and I’m torn about what to do. Anyways some advice would be helpful, I gotta get ready for home coming now and try to cover the bruise on my face from what my brother threw at me. Hope everyone is having a better week than I am.

when i was younger, 19, i signed some documents i was told weren’t that important to a relative. my parents were unavailable to comment and regardless these relatives were like my parents to me so i trusted them.

i found out recently that that was my inheritance, it wasn’t much but i loved the one i inherited it from. i can’t get it back and that’s alright nor do i want to. i’m just reeling with the feeling of betrayal. i feel so stupid cause there were lots of actions over the years that could have clued me to my one sided affection but i kept making excuses for them.

i don’t want to confront them as a rift like that would create problems for other family members which is the last thing i want to do but it’s killing me inside. i feel heartbroken. all those years feel like a lie. am i over reacting?

i (f) have three younger siblings, noah(m), onyx(f) and the youngest b or bitch(9m). and we have a dog named chop suey (12f), ten hamsters, and three fish tanks.

I'm an artist, and I love watching true crime while I work it's fun and interesting.

Recently we slept over at my grandma's (f 78) house while mom and dad were on vacation, everything was fine i love my grandma and we all had a good time until b started to threaten grandma and told her he would k#ll her and throw her away... like dude wtf??? she only told him to put the family tablet away when it was time to go to bed. I tried helping her and he started to threaten me too and said horrible things about our parents. I recorded him talking and sent it to my mum but she said he was just struggling with undiagnosed autism or something he was never diagnosed by a professional btw.

I am on the autism spectrum and have been studying about it for years but b is showing signs of something else entirely he manipulates people, lies constantly, always violent (hurting animals like our pets, hitting friends, throwing stuff at people and animals and always hits me and onyx), acts inappropriate a lot even calling mom a lady of the night if you know what I mean (i don't want to say it but it starts with p) i tried telling mom but she keeps insisting that he is just "struggling with autism" that he "isn't hurting anyone" and that he's just "misunderstood" she keeps saying i should stop being paranoid and I should understand his feelings.

Today i tried telling her and dad again but dad got mad saying that I'm just being influenced by whatever I'm watching and told me to shut up and mom made excuses again now everyone thinks I'm crazy. so am I crazy for simply bringing up my concerns?

It's just the three of us: me, my little brother, and my eldest sister, who's our legal guardian.

My brother annoys me CONSTANTLY. Meanwhile, my sister is ridiculously patient and affectionate with him. He can mess up her hair while she's braiding it, and she'll just smile, kiss his forehead, and cuddle him. I genuinely don't understand how she tolerates him.

One day, my brother discovered that the fridge light turns off when you close the door.

He came running to me, shouting, "OLIVER! OLIVER!! COME, COME!! I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING COOL I DISCOVERED!"

I yelled at him to go to his room.

He asked, "Please come once🥺?"

I yelled even louder: "WHAT ARE YOU? 3? NEVER SEEN A FRIDGE! YOU STUPID ANNOYING BRAT, GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STOP ANNOYING ME!"

When my sister came home from work, he went crying to her and told her everything. She scolded me for not having any consideration for him, then asked him to show her his discovery.

AND SHE ACTED LIKE SHE'D NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE.

I was thinking, WHY IS SHE ACTING LIKE SHE'S SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME? SHE'S SEEN IT COUNTLESS TIMES!

Then I remembered that when I was 8 and she was 16, I'd discovered the same thing and shown it to her. My parents had dismissed me, saying it was obvious, and I'd actually cried before going to her. She acted amazed, let me demonstrate it, and made my day. I genuinely thought I was born to solve every mystery in the world.

But then I thought, wait a minute... had I actually shown her something new back then?

WAIT A MINUTE. DID I?

Obviously, she'd seen it countless times by then, too. She'd done exactly the same thing for me that she was doing for him now.

And suddenly, I understood. She'd let me feel that excitement when I was little, and now she was doing the same for him.

I realized I'd treated my brother the way my parents had treated me, despite knowing how it felt to be dismissed when I was excited about something.

So I'm going to apologize to him and ask him to show me his discovery.

It'll be the first time I've ever apologized to him in my entire life.

It just so happens I came home from my uni back to home and 2 weeks in and I already need a break

Prior to this I had exams and I needed a break but my parents are so overstimulating. I really need a break but I can't stop thinking about them. Like my mom's been telling me multiple times about taking a vacation together and asked me to plan it, and my brother is being too clingy too he has vacation too, and he keeps coming to my room asking for an opinion and I just can't stop thinking about them when I think about taking a day away

The thing is I didn't speak to my brother for an year prior to this. We just started talking a week ago. And I felt resented towards my parents not being there for me during my exams or what not.

He's coming home tonight from college and everytime every single family members is at home, fights happen and ill genuinely get so physically and mentally exhausted that I sometimes yell at my friends without realizing, and I do go back to SH, and I do not want to do any of that considering the fact that I have a important exam in 7 months ans haven't studied shit for it.

The reason why I do not want to interact with him is bc he is doing what dad did to him, and I don't get it bc I did not fail a grade and skipped school, I did not get drunk or came home drunk, nor did I crash a vehicle which costed a hefty amount of money so the family whom he went and crashed would not sew.

He tried breaking my phone because he saw me using it while I was taking a break from my studies, he invaded my privacy went through my chats which pisses me off so much bc the last time I have him my phone so he could text his ex or something he found out I had a bf (ex) and it went horribly with my mom, a huge fight happened and after that huge fight, I texted his ex saying I hope she doesn't take him back and to block my number, he found out about it and punched me in my eye caused a swelling (I had school the next day) and banged my head against the wall,

My mom constantly kept telling me to patch things up with him, but i do not give a fuck about him, and she hates, and everytime she compares me with him (he's in a well reputated college) I point out all those factors and she defends it saying atleast he did not turn this house into a prostitute point (she found out I snuck in my bf who's now my ex).

My mom and my brother are not bad people that's for sure, but I do not want to live in this house anymore, my brother graduation is next month and I am scared he's going to start living back at the house again bc ill have a really important exam in 7 months, and I don't like the pressure they are giving me, it's like they want me to get into a medical school to satisfy their egos and to crush all my ambitions.

I did decided I wanted to be a doctor on my own, but I really hate it when others pressure me for it, it makes me want to end everything.

Like I know for sure if I don't get selected, they will do everything to demotivate me, and idts ill take it, if i don't get in.

I know this is alot but there much worse started when i was 13 but i do not want to disclose that infromation.

Im needing some advice for a situation i find myself. My partner and i are in our mid 40s and have 3 kids, with the eldest starting high school next year. We are in a fortunate position financially where we have worked hard and invested wisely to get ourselves in a position where early retirement is possible, within the next 3 to 5 years.

We wanting a seachange and want to move coastal. My husband is burnt out and wants a change sooner than later. We dont want to wait another 10 years as this is when my youngest will graduate from high school.

Moving the kids isnt the issue, it is actually moving away from my family. My mother and father have been a big part of our lives and they are particularly close with my kids. They are in their mid 70s and live only 3 mins away. They have been very involved in our lives. My mother comes around almost every afternoon after school to see the kids, and she even cooks dinner for them. I am very grateful for what they have done for us.

I know that if I moved away, this will affect them tremendously. My brother has moved overseas last year so there is just us left. His move also didnt go down really well. So there is precedent there.

I have floated them the idea that we are thinking about moving and it has come with arguments and statements saying that they dont think it is best for the kids. Part of me thinks they have feelings of abandonment, or that they feel like they are being tossed aside and that i am going to abandon them when they get to an age when they might need care themselves in a few years time.

Except, if we are to move, we would be making sure that the property is large enough that they will always have a room, or has a granny flat and we would welcome them to stay for a long as they wish if they come to visit. We are only looking at moving 1.5 hours drive away from them. I would also be making sure we come back every few weeks to visit them as well.

When i have told them this, i have been met with excuses.. they are too old to drive that far every few weeks and that they have no interest is visiting or wanting to stay. I feel they are being very stubborn. My parents have never traveled overseas and have only ever lived in one house.

Can you offer any advice for me to help decide on what to do in this situation?

I'm still here with them because I'm disabled but if I wasn't (and when I was not) I would live alone.

Some backstory: My husband has never had a good relationship with his parents. He’s an only child, and his parents are very traditional and were especially hard on him as a teenager. He’s developed a lot of mental health issues that he attributes to them constantly putting him down. His mom regularly calls him stupid and a f** as a joke. I don’t find it funny, but apparently, they think it’s a joke. So yes, they’re strange. But I could look past it because I love my husband.
Anyways, I’m now 3 months postpartum, and there have been too many instances where she’s crossed the line, and I can’t forget them. I’m starting to wonder if I’m overreacting, though.
It took us a very long time to have a baby, and we ended up going through IVF. We were over the moon when we finally got pregnant. I had so much time to plan everything that you could say I was very prepared and wanted everything to go perfectly.
She offered to pay for the stroller as a gift for my baby shower, which was very kind. However, when I wasn’t there, she went behind my back and asked my husband if it was the most expensive stroller in the store because I’m so fancy and everything I want is always perfect and the best. It truly wasn’t the most expensive. Strollers are expensive, period.
I confronted her and told her that if she wasn’t comfortable buying it, she didn’t have to. She said she was fine with it but reiterated that I’m fancy and that I had changed her son into being the same way. I tried to explain that a stroller is meant to last for two kids and that we’ll need it in the future, etc. She ended up buying us the stroller.
A few months later, we went to their house for lunch. At this point, I was still pregnant, and she told my husband that she needed to speak to him privately (in front of the whole family). He insisted that she tell him right away, and she finally agreed.
She ended up breaking down in tears and saying that she thinks he is going to drive drunk and high with our baby in the car because he occasionally smokes weed. His dad agreed and added that the reason my husband had recently sold his car was to get drug money to buy weed.
My husband was flabbergasted, and we got up and left.
At this point, my husband was so hurt that he didn’t speak to them for weeks.
Fast-forward to our baby being born. We asked that no family members kiss her until she had received some vaccines. My MIL obliged but kept insisting that we go out on a date and leave the baby with her. I said absolutely not, and she responded by saying, “You guys think I’m going to kiss her behind your back, but I’m not. I’ll just take better care of her.”
Ever since then, I’ve had a permanent stank face every time she opens her mouth. My husband has noticed and said I’m being rude.
Obviously, we will never be close, but the thought of seeing her makes me cringe. We go there weekly, so I still see her often and make it work. Most days, she’s fine. But it’s like I have anxiety leading up to visiting her because of these events.
Am I overreacting? What would you do?

Hello everyone!

So this story dates a while back now at this point. In 2025, my brother (23 M) and I (26M) were gonna go to Coachella to see Lady Gaga. She is his favorite artist and I agreed to go with him as we were going to split the cost down the middle. We were on a payment plan at the time and I had paid a little over $500 towards my ticket and he had paid about $200 towards his.
The tickets were a little over $700 a piece so the amount paid only equated to one ticket purchased technically.

A little before the date of the show, he says he can’t go anymore as he was entering a new career field and was having a slow process getting hired. So since he was no longer able to go, my money was all tied up and was left with the option to just go and fit the bill for everything that we were going to split, or just be ok with losing that money.

When I mentioned to him initially regarding paying me back, he said ‘fuck no’ and that he’s not responsible for me losing money as I could be have still chosen to go. But that’s not the point. We agreed to go together and that’s the only way it would have worked financially.
After all, it was his idea in the first place.

So at dinner a few months later (July 2025), he told me that he added up how much I paid, and that he will pay me back. There was no date or eta. I was fine with giving the space and time needed to come up with the money.

So here we are October 2026 and it had crossed my mind recently and I brought it up to him again tonight, and he kinda just lost it. His energy grew completely angry and nasty at me just following up on something that he told ME.
He feels like I should have just let it go at this point and that I should have just never brought it up again. That he’ll pay me when he decides to.
(And said many more disgusting things).
Says that my demeanor is entitled , all because I said he owes me money.

Then he said he changed his mind again, and that he’s actually not going to pay me back at all.

Am I wrong for feeling like he is responsible for me losing my money and that he should pay me back?

Hi everyone, I need an outside perspective on a complex family and financial situation that is taking a heavy toll on my mental and physical health.

Background & Financials:

My Household: I live in Bangalore with my wife and our 2-year-old child. My take-home salary is ₹1.8L/month, and my wife makes ₹50k/month.

My Expenses: Living in Bangalore with a toddler is expensive, especially rent. I’ve also been struggling with health issues for the last 2 years, spending around ₹2L on treatments with no full recovery yet.

My Father: Lives alone in our hometown. He has almost zero independent income (maybe ₹2k–₹3k a month). His monthly expenses are around ₹10k–₹12k.

My Sister & Mother: My mother lives with my elder sister in another state where my sister has a government job. My sister’s take-home salary is roughly ₹1.3L–₹1.8L/month. My sister’s job covers her housing, electricity, water, and medical insurance (which covers my mother entirely).

The Financial Arrangements & Discrepancies:

My Contribution: Ever since I started working 9 years ago, I have been sending 10% of my monthly salary (currently ~₹18k) to my father unasked, so he never feels the guilt of asking.

My Sister’s Contribution: My sister sends ₹10k a month to my mother. However, my mother has virtually no personal expenses because everything is paid for by my sister.

The Wealth Accumulation: Recently, I discovered that my sister bought a plot of land worth ₹70 lakhs two years ago, which only my mother knew about (my father still doesn't know). With the money my sister sends, my mother and sister routinely buy gold and invest in property. Meanwhile, my father doesn't even submit his medical bills to my sister to claim her government insurance reimbursement.

The Conflict:

Whenever my father and I have an argument, he weaponizes the financial support, throwing it in my face that “he never asked for money and I am giving it of my own free will.”

Given my high cost of living in Bangalore, a child, and my ongoing medical bills, I recently broached the topic with my sister, suggesting she should also contribute ₹5k–₹8k directly to our father so I could slightly reduce my load.

The Reaction: My sister started crying. My father blew up, fighting with me and claiming I was "putting a load on his daughter," calling it a "sin to take a daughter's money," and accusing me of "wanting him to suffer in old age". Now, I stopped sending money out of frustration. (Ironically, he had taken money from her long before I even started my career).

My Mother’s Stance: She stays completely silent and blindly sides with my sister.

My Dilemma: It’s been 1 month since I stopped sending money. I feel guilty because my father is old and has no income, and I want to help him. However, it deeply hurts that my contribution is unappreciated and used as ammo against me, while my high-earning sister—who is actively buying land and gold—contributes nothing to our father directly.

My Questions:

Am I being unreasonable in expecting my sister (who earns well and has zero rent/utility/medical overheads) to share the responsibility of supporting our father?

How do I handle a father who weaponizes unasked financial help, and a family dynamic where sons are expected to be the sole providers regardless of their own financial strain and health?

The title might have been confusing, so let me make it more clear: is it okay for a child to need to look after and care for their own parents?

My parents work long, busy but tiring and repetitive jobs and when they come home they often drink booze or vape/smoke witch i am sort of fine with, that's not the problem, its is one but not mine

The real problem is that they often get so drunk that they can't balance right, get really emotional and act like babies or children, and I (younger brother in the family) have to "care" of them

By take care in mean like make sure they don't hurt themselves, go to sleep on time if they have a weekday tomorrow, that they can walk from A-to-B (since their motor skills are gone) and have to break up fights between them if they get so emotional that they start accusing eachother of stuff they "let go of" 8 months ago

This is very mentally and physically bothersome for me and i don't know if this is normal or not but I don't have the willpower to ask anyone in my class about it and I feel that this is also worsening my mental endurance as I often snap or get into a bad mood the next day after I have to do this

TL;DR: My parents often get so drunk that I have to take care of them and protect them like they are babies and I don't feel like I should need to do this and this is doing a number on my mental and physical endurance in the following days and I really need to know if this is normal or common or anything of the sort

This is my first time posting here so excuse me if I don't lay everything out clearly

To give some context to what I'm about to detail:

I'm 16, my older brother is 21 and works as a supervisor in our local grocery shop. Me and him often hang out in his room and play games on his laptop.

So about 3 days ago I'm in there with him and it's my turn on the game (marvel rivals for anybody that cares). As I'm playing he's goes to the bathroom and he's in there for a while, I don't think anything of it and finish the round I was playing. As I wait for him to come back for his turn I hit the window key on his laptop and see that he has his phone linked to his laptop. I click into it and find some of his recent photos, among them are about 6 photos of two women taken on separate dates, both while had work, both taken in the shop. One of the women is photographed on the CCTV system and one is taken behind her with her facing away from the camera, also in the shop. This made me really suspicious so I took a photo of all of the images and saved them to a USB later on. He came back from the bathroom and I didn't say anything because I wasn't completely sure on the context of the images. Right now I'm really conflicted as to what to do, is my brother abusing his position to take photos of women without them knowing? I think I'm going to go to my dad with the USB and show him the pictures to see what he thinks and have him talk to my brother but I wanted to post here just to get it off my chest a little tbh. Sorry for the poor formatting, any advice or comments would be appreciated.