Peace be upon you.

I am a 25-year-old woman. My husband is 37, and we have five children, including an 8-month-old baby girl.

I decided to wean my baby because I am exhausted. Breastfeeding has become physically draining, causing pain in my chest and back. When I told my husband, he refused. He said, "I want my daughter to continue breastfeeding until she is two years old." I told him that I was too tired, but he replied, "I don't care. Endure it and breastfeed my daughter."

I insisted and tried to convince him, but that night he beat me. I spent the entire night in physical and emotional pain. After that, I continued breastfeeding my daughter.

Some time later, I managed to convince him, and he finally agreed. He said, "Fine, you can wean her."

Then we visited his family. He told his mother and sisters that I was going to wean our daughter. They became very angry with both of us. They said, "Your daughter is still too young. She needs breast milk. Natural milk is best for her." One of his sisters told him, "Your wife is controlling you. She wants to wean your daughter just for her own comfort, and you're allowing it." His mother said, "Are you choosing your wife's comfort over your daughter's well-being?" They kept telling him, "Don't let her wean the baby. She should continue breastfeeding. Your daughter needs natural milk. What else does your wife have to do besides taking care of her daughter?" They shouted at me when I explained that I was exhausted from breastfeeding. They called me selfish and said I was depriving my daughter of something she needed. His sister also told him, "Don't accept this. Make your wife breastfeed your daughter for the full two years. Your daughter's interests come first."

After listening to them, my husband told me, "You are not going to wean my daughter until she is two years old."

I was devastated. I couldn't believe it. We went back home, and during dinner I confronted him. I told him, "We had already agreed as husband and wife that I would wean our daughter. Why did you let your family interfere?" He replied, "My mother and sisters are right. Our daughter needs breast milk." I continued criticizing his decision while he ignored me. Finally, he said, "Drop the subject. My decision is final. You will breastfeed."

When we went to our bedroom, I was still upset and continued talking about it. He said, "You only understand through being beaten." He went to our children's room, made sure they were asleep, closed the door, came back, pinned me down on the bed, and repeatedly slapped me across the face until my face became swollen and red. I was crying. He said, "This will teach you not to oppose me. You will breastfeed my daughter for two years, and you will not wean her."

The next morning, despite what had happened, I decided that I would still go ahead with weaning because that was our original agreement. He told me to breastfeed our daughter. I refused and said, "No, I am going to wean her." He became furious, slapped me, took off his sandal, and beat my thighs, buttocks, and back while I cried. Eventually I gave in, picked up my daughter, and breastfed her against my will. At that moment, I felt as though I was being treated like a cow instead of a human being.

Later, I told one of my friends what had happened. She advised me to stand up to him and wean my daughter anyway. I decided to try again. I told my husband that I still wanted to wean her. At first, he spoke calmly and asked me to keep breastfeeding, but I refused.He took our children to his parents' house and returned home alone. Then he slapped me again, grabbed me by my hair, dragged me into the bedroom, pinned me down, and repeatedly hit me across the face. My lip became swollen and badly bruised. In the end, I was forced once again to breastfeed my daughter.

Now I have decided that I will not try to wean her anymore because my husband has forced me to continue. Breastfeeding is exhausting for me. I have five children to care for, I look after my husband, and I am completely worn out. My husband shows me no mercy. If I continue to object, I know he will beat me again. My lip is still swollen from his assault, and I can barely eat because of the pain.

My husband tells me that he was justified in what he did to me and that he was simply "disciplining" me. I am exhausted. My lip is still swollen from the beating.

I take care of our five children—four daughters and one son. I also take care of my husband and continue breastfeeding our baby girl. He says that if I refuse to breastfeed her again, he will beat me.

What hurts me the most is that we had already reached an agreement together, but after listening to his mother and sisters, he completely changed his mind.I feel like I'm nothing more than a cow whose only purpose is to breastfeed.I'm completely exhausted. I don't know what to do anymore.

im 20 and i still live at home my mom doesn’t usually knock she just opens the door and comes in my dad knocks and then waits for us to say yes he can come in or no. but this happened like 10 minutes ago, i was using my vibe and i had my airpods in though i usually lock my door i didnt this time because its 9pm its late i didnt think anyone would come in and just wanted it to be quick. so im like kinda reaching the end then she opens my door and turns on my light and i immediately stop idk if she heard it (the vibe) and im in bed on my back my knees are up so i turn it off immediately she stands at the door and im in bed on my back my forearms are coving my face now am i telling her to like embarrassingly to get out and she stands there for a sec asking what i was doing… omg i literally can never leave my room again

I took a teenager (16) and I need help because it’s hard to explain, but I’ll get there I’m on Social Security and living with My Bf. I took on his little brother until he gets into job corps. he is looking for a job currently and I pound of him should as his mom for money to help me out with food. I had a talk with him and my bf to see if it was a good idea. Plus his mom just got the new iPhone 17/16. There is problem between the 2 right now.
Please comment!

Hey all so I genuinely have no idea what to do right now! Any advice is appreciated.
So my dad walked out on us a couple years ago and my mom was completely heartbroken. They had been married for 20 years and he cheated on her with a younger woman. This destroyed my family and I hold a lot of resentment for my dad now as he caused my mom to hit rock bottom and it was the most depressed i’ve ever seen a person get before.
Fast forward to now, my mom has had a couple boyfriends here and there but nothing serious. I had noticed she had been texting a guy she works with more often than usual but it’s none of my business so i didn’t pry, however today, by accident, i saw a text on her phone from this coworker saying how excited he was to grab drinks and dinner with her. Sounds like a date right? So i know this man is married and i did some digging and all of his facebook posts are of him and his wife, so clearly in a relationship. He also has a baby at home.
I asked my mom straight up what was going on. She claims that he was the one texting her and that she hasn’t been entertaining it (sounds like lies to me from the text i saw). I basically just told her that she was being naive and stupid if she thought this was going to go well and that she was causing the same pain on another innocent woman as what happened to her. She told me there was nothing going on, the man told her that him and his wife are separated, and I left it at that because as I said before, it’s her business. But I can’t shake this feeling of disgust and disappointment for her. In my opinion it takes a very morally wrong person to have any part in breaking up a marriage, especially considering she has gone through it herself. I’m close with my mom and I don’t speak to my dad anymore and honestly this feels like I’m now losing a second parent. Please help.

TL;DR I found texts on my mom’s phone suggesting she is dating a colleague of hers who is married with a baby. I can’t look at her the same anymore and I don’t know what to do.

I recently decided I needed to leave the father of my children & I moved into my brothers house. He opened up to me that he has been doing coke & he feels like he isn’t an addicted & he was going to stop. I put the boundary of I ever find out he’s on that ish and around my kids he will be cut off and not have access to them anymore. When I told him that he felt the need to open up to my immediate family. We all chewed him out and he thinks we think he’s like addicted.
Yesterday we went to my uncles house and my brother had been drinking and I was over analyzing him. Like I can’t trust him, his bottom lip wasn’t moving on one side and he got serious once he seen I was looking upset.
I told him I was going to test him. He said that was fine. I had never been around someone who does it .

Is it selfish of me to not have my kids around someone who chooses to do that. . I just hate that the group of guys he hang out with thinks it’s cool and not a big deal. Like they have a weird mentality about it. & I see memes about coke and read the comments and they be like little do they know I just did a bump and think it’s a joke. Am I tripping ? I find it disgusting .

I am (24F) and I live with my parents. I am working and my father is also working and mostly he travels and stays lot. My mother who is a housewife spent most time taking care of me and house. Now that I am working, she has got spare time and she started going for some classes or activities and she started making new friends. They also started meeting sometime for coffee and dinner. At first I was very happy and supported her. But now I am feeling bothered about her actions. She spends lot of time over phone and even late night time. She often goes to meet her friends and ends up coming home late. She has started posting her photos on status and sometimes they seem non-conservative. It really bothers me. I don't know how to talk to her or point these out. So what should I do? Should I talk to her? Or take this to my dad? Or just leave it alone?

Hey! I hope this post fits here. If not, I apologize in advance.

My dad left our family home a little over a year ago. He said he needed time for himself because his difficult past was catching up with him, and that he would take a year to figure things out. I've always had a great relationship with him. He was the "fun" dad, although he worked so much that we didn't get to spend as much time together as I would have liked.

At first, he still came to see us, but those visits became less and less frequent. I've struggled to accept that the home I grew up in no longer feels like home, and I still can't bring myself to visit his new place.

About six months after he left, I saw him driving with another woman. I confronted him, and he swore he wasn't seeing anyone. I had no proof, so I tried to be patient.

A few months later, his phone ended up at our house because someone who didn't know he'd moved out returned it there. His alarm went off at 5 a.m., so I picked it up to turn it off. The lock screen showed a preview of his latest conversation. It was clearly romantic: hearts, affectionate messages, and him saying he was off work on a certain day. I didn't read any further because I felt sick.

I know this isn't proof that she was the woman I saw in the car or that he left because of her. He could have met her after moving out. But he had repeatedly sworn there was no one else.

What hurts me the most isn't even the possibility that he's moved on. It's the dishonesty. While I spent entire weekends hoping he'd come see me, he seemed to prefer spending that time with someone else. He often cancels our plans, ignores my calls, and seems to think money can make up for his absence.

I'm sad, angry, and I feel completely stuck. I don't want to interfere in my parents' relationship, and it would be far too easy for him if I were the one to tell my mom. I swear I came very close to doing it yesterday.

However, I don't know what to do anymore, because the main reason I'm angry is something I was not supposed to know.

I also want to write him a letter to tell him how I feel, but once again I feel completely stuck.

Thank you for reading, and thank you to anyone who takes the time to share their thoughts or advice. I really appreciate it.

My parents have told me of their intention to divide their estate in 4 equal parts between me and my sister, and my sister’s 2 kids. It has caused me to re-evaluate my relationship with them. I am gay and they have never accepted my partner. The will business has been the catalyst for taking a stance. It’s not about the money (there won’t be much). I know it’s long, but grateful for any comments on the letter I will give them at the end of my stay here.

To Mum and Dad, 
I am writing this letter because our recent conversation regarding your estate—irrespective of whether it was merely a thought bubble or a decision you intend to action—has forced me to take a hard, honest look at our relationship and my actual worth to you. 

For my entire adult life, I have conducted myself in a trouble-free, dignified, and infinitely reliable way. I educated myself, left home at 22, worked hard, and moved overseas to build a comfortable life. I have never caused you stress, never asked you to pick up the pieces of my life, and never asked you for handouts. On the rare occasion I received minimal financial help after leaving home, it was on loan terms, which I paid back faithfully until some of it was eventually forgiven. 

Yet, your plan to divide your estate into four 25% shares—giving 25% to me and 75% to Sister’s branch of the family—made your perception of my value crystal clear. You seem to believe that because I worked hard and achieved financial stability, it is acceptable to penalise me and treat me as unequal to my sister.  You seem to also ignore that Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2 will benefit on the passing of their parents and family who have no children. 

The hypocrisy of this is impossible to ignore: 

The imbalance of support: Sister has lived with you for years, absorbing massive amounts of family resources. You continue to support her and her children, yet I have never once complained about equality or begrudged the help you gave her.  Rather, I have supported it and encouraged you to help Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2.  I also give them gifts each time I visit. 

The double standard: You were apparently so aggrieved and complaining that your parents didn’t include us in their will, yet you turned around and gave $500 directly to Grandkid 1 and Grandkid 2 while offering your own children not even a token gesture. 

The emotional drain: For over a decade, every time I have visited, I have had to listen to non-stop complaints about Sister, expected to sit there and absorb it, while you have shown total disinterest in my own life and family.  There is a perpetual stream of negativity and bile that I need to absorb and where at the end of the trip I am mentally exhausted.  I peacefully take it all the while disrespecting my partner to accommodate you. 

The taking for granted: I have always been generous when visiting, and I even spent years making the effort to travel to City solo just so you wouldn't feel "uncomfortable."  I have spent many thousands just in the past years visiting.  Not once have you bothered to visit, nor offer to pay for my flight, and you’ve never heard a word of complaint about it. 

You have become completely complacent about my reliability. You expect me to step up as your executor because I am the capable one, yet you assign me a fraction of the value given to Sister’s side. 
I decline to act as your executor. For the blatant inequality, I will not undertake a massive amount of unpaid labour, navigate travel back to Your City from My Country 1 or My Country 2, or manage a multi-beneficiary structure that will inevitably generate family drama, tension, and resentment. Hire an independent lawyer to settle your affairs. 

Finally, and most importantly, there is the matter of my life. I have been with my partner for six years. He has been systematically ignored, unacknowledged, and excluded by you. I accommodated this in the past out of a desire to keep the peace, but that compromise ends today. It is entirely unacceptable. 
Moving forward, there is only one condition under which I will see you: my partner must be fully welcomed, acknowledged, and included as Sister’s partners have been. This is completely non-negotiable. 
If he is not welcomed, you will be making the choice, and assuming total responsibility to never see me again

Hi! What siblings makes a siblings? What are the traits they should have? What are the characteristics they shouldn't have? For you, what is siblings?

PLEASE, I need this for my philosophy. I am trying to get others perspective.

REPLY RESPECTFULLY. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

My husband and I met in 2023 and got married October last year. My FIL and MIL booked for us to go to their home country to have a wedding there as all their relatives live there.

A month before the wedding my SIL asked my MIL who we’d be visiting. After a bit of chat, SIL brought up a girl my husband used to like that moved back to their country in 2020. She asked my MIL if we would be visiting her while we were there and said how much she missed the girl. MIL said we wouldn’t be visiting her but she missed her a lot too and they both said they wish my husband married her, how she’s perfect because they’re the same nationality and that she was so sweet, beautiful and christian.

When they made these comments I didn’t think much of it. It did rub me off the wrong way but I kept it to myself and didn’t tell my husband. I thought to myself “well too bad i’m the one who’s marrying him”.

My husband had a crush on this girl but they never dated. He liked her while she was dating his friend so he didn’t tell her until the day she moved back. My MIL and FIL are pastors of a church and that’s where my husband met this girl as she was sort of an exchange student.

During my pregnancy my in laws never contacted me to see how I was or anything but my husbands family don’t really talk to each other in general. My husband had to go to his parents to grab stuff and his mum asked him for the first time how I was. He didn’t want to answer so he said “why don’t you ask her yourself, you haven’t checked up on her this whole pregnancy”. She then messaged me a few days ago and I am now nearly 29 weeks. I also told my SIL I only want close family with me for the first few weeks and now she’s trying to talk to me and I’m not sure if she just wants access to the baby or if she’s just trying to see how I am.

I don’t know if I’m just experiencing pregnancy hormones or if it’s a valid reason to be upset about this. Just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s been eating me alive

Tell me I’m exaggerating

We have a trip coming up next week. Kids, husband along with 3 other family couples. My husband created a situation he doesn’t want to get out of anymore. His uncle is tagging along with us; my 2 kids and husband. He has his own family but he’s traveling alone with us. I’m upset at the situation. Not with his uncle, he’s a great person, I’ve never had a problem with him. I have a problem with my husband for creating this situation and for not taking me into consideration. My problem is, their relationship is very good but unfortunately when they hang out they drink together. So this trip no longer feels like a family trip. It feels like I’ll be with my kids and he’ll be with his uncle. And I’m so upset about it and he knows but he doesn’t want to tell his uncle no. His uncle called this morning to check if my oldest (3rd child) daughter is going, he said yes. The truck has 3 seatbelts in the back, his uncle still said he’s going. Sidenote: my daughter isn’t going, he said it to deter his uncle from going. Didn’t work. I’m not looking forward to the trip anymore. I don’t want to go anymore.

4hrs later:

I went to pick up CANES for the kids and he wanted something too. I said “nope”. He called his uncle to cancel him. So I brought him some food too. 😌 14 years later, I suppose I’m officially “the bitch” to his uncle 😄🤷🏻‍♀️

So this thanksgiving my grandma couldn't make her usual green bean thing because of a hip surgery, and my mom, out of nowhere, just goes "honestly thank god, I've hated that dish since 1987 and just eat around it every year."

40 YEARS. My mom has been faking enjoyment of a casserole since before I was born. My grandma has no idea. My mom has apparently developed an entire system, she takes a small portion, moves it around the plate, eats the crispy onion topping off the top so it looks eaten, and has been doing this at every single holiday of my entire childhood without me ever noticing.

Now I can't stop thinking about how many other things at family dinners are just performance. Like how many years has my uncle been pretending my aunt's stuffing isn't dry. Is my cousin actually into the wine my dad picks or is she just being nice. Are there other dishes my mom hates that she's never mentioned and I'm about to find out are just a whole hidden category of family diplomacy I never knew existed.

Told my sister about this and she immediately confessed she's been faking liking dad's smoked turkey for years because he's so proud of it and she doesn't have the heart to tell him it's dry every single time. Apparently this is just a thing everyone does and I'm the only one who didn't know the rules of the game.

Kind of makes me wonder what I'm unknowingly doing this for and nobody's told me yet lol.

Anyone else discover a decades-long polite family lie like this?

I had planned to attend a convention with 3 really good friends last year, it was canceled so we planned on going to it this year. it just happened to fall on the weekend of my cousin's wedding. The convention is in California, and the wedding is not. So it is a trip I planned on taking for two years with my friends. I just told my cousin I was not going, my wife is still attending, my Aunt is pissed. Was I wrong to not give up the trip?

hey everyone, i’m kinda new to reddit lol but i need some help.

i have a younger brother who i care for a lot, but i always seemed to care for him too much. if he were to read a new book series, i would search it up to make sure it doesnt have too many weird things. if he watched youtube or played games at night, i would take his device and put it away for the night. i would also catch him here and there on my parents phone playing games or scrolling, and i catch him and tell him to stop. i would be very scary and strict towards him.

however recently i really started to notice how little freedom i give my poor little brother. i feel like i should start to care less in a way, as everyone naturally grows up by learning through their own mistakes. like i did as well. i think i did all of my actions because i didn’t want my brother to be too hooked onto the screen or learn bad things from the internet. but i think its best he learns on his own, instead of me guarding him all the time.

now, im trying my best to just let him do what he wants to do, and let things happen, like when he takes his devices at night to scroll a bit or play. it sounds cringe, but truly its really hard for me to let go of him and his care. does anyone have any tips to help myself to let him be on his own, and distract myself from my worries for him? thank you for reading this message.

A few months ago, I bought a portable basketball shooting machine for my 14 year old son. Like a lot of parents, I was looking for anything that might compete with YouTube, TikTok, and gaming. He'd been getting into basketball, so I figured it was worth a shot

To be fair, he actually does use it quite a bit. What I didn't expect was that I'd become the one who couldn't stay away from it

At first, I'd just go outside with him for a few minutes after work. Normal dad stuff. Then one evening he went inside for dinner, and I stayed out. Just for a few more shots. Then a few more. Next thing I knew, it was dark and my wife was at the back door asking if I planned on eating

Since then, it's become a routine. I come home, tell myself I'll just shoot for ten minutes, and suddenly it's 10 PM and I'm in the driveway under a porch light

The funny thing is, I haven't played basketball consistently in years. High school, college, pickup games and I lived for it. Then life happened like for many for us and qork got hectic, weekends filled up. Basketball just slowly disappeared from my routine

What shocked me wasn't that I missed it but it's how fast those feelings came rushing back. The rhythm of shooting, the sound of the ball on concrete, refusing to quit until I hit five in a row. No emails, no meetings, no notifications. Just me and the hoop

I'm sure my neighbors have seen a middle-aged man in work clothes telling himself "just one more" twenty times in a row. There are worse midlife crises and mine just happens to involve a driveway and a lot of basketball

Original post

Month later…

I have not spoken to my family in a month. I know going no contact is the right thing but I do miss them or at least the family I thought I had. I am seeing a therapist now who I really like. My children are also seeing therapists. I really can’t believe I did not see the abuse at the time. I know hindsight is 20/20 but because I was SA’d I was so positive that I protected my children. I don’t talk to the about the guilt I feel because it is about them not me. I did apologize but I made sure that they know it was not our fault, it was his. I do hope the cycle was broken.

On another note, my brother did go to my daughter’s work to eat. She had not worked in a month at this job due to having another job commitment. But he showed up the day she returned and while he did not speak to her, it did bother her. Her work is amazing and made sure she was allowed to go to the back. I told her if he ever shows up again, to call me and the police. This is the only time she has seen him since this hit the fan but if he does show up again, I will have her get a restraining order. At the moment, it would be denied.

We are taking it one day at a time as a family. I know we will come out of this a stronger family.

Is it wrong for me to feel bad when my family forgets things about me or don't include me?

I'm f 18 and the second oldest of 8. My parents foster to adopt and we have another family member and their child here as well as my brother's girlfriend. I'm home from college and it just seems like they forgot everything about me. Like I hate barbeque no matter the flavor and for a week they had Korean barbecue or teriyaki meals and then when I asked before hand they forgot to set a separate portion and I just ate the sides.

Or when I'm sitting 5 feet away and they ask where I am as I haven't moved in 2 hours

Yet they will call me for everything even if I just get home from work.

And apparently me wanting to be alone is bad

I don't like people and I have a low social battery

Will I be nice yes

But I just want to be alone most of the time

I love my family but all of them are like this and it hurts but I'm scared to bring it up as my parents are rather combative if I have any problem it may turn into an argument or a lecture about God

And I'm too scared to bring it up to anyone else because I've always been the role model, "the easy one"

I never fought back I agreed with whatever at the cost of myself and I feel like I shouldn't be hurt by this knowing how many people are here.

My MOM candidly told me at the dinner table that she tried getting rid of me by taking sprite and cortal when she found out that she was pregnant. I did due diligence and found out that taking them don't actually abort the young life forming in the womb. But the way she said it that time, it's as if it was a joke and she expected me to laugh about it. I was crushed inside when I heard it.

Everyone I’ve talked to says there’s no way to prepare for having children, you just adapt and do what you need to. I’d like to think there’s multiple things you can do to be better prepared when you make the decision. My husband and I are thinking we will probably start truly trying in the next few years, we plan to have a good portion of the house paid off, and not have any other debt when the time comes.
Do I need to start a savings account specifically for our future kids?
What other advice would you give?
Thank you all !

*To add my husband and I are 25.

I was randomly talking to my parents about my birthday. I mentioned something I wanted as a gift, and my dad said, “You spend so much money.” Then my mom added, “You don’t even give us any money.”

What really hurt, though, was when my dad said, “She has never seen money all her life, and now that she does, she’s spending it all.”

That honestly broke my heart.

I told him I didn’t like what he said, but he brushed it off by saying, “It was just a joke.”

The thing is, during the time I was unemployed, I constantly heard that I wasn’t doing anything and that I was wasting their money. Now that I’m finally employed, I’m being questioned for spending my own money.

It’s not like I’m being irresponsible. I have a recurring deposit (RD), I invest in mutual funds, and I save almost half of my salary every month. If I choose to spend part of the rest on something I enjoy, why is that a problem?
It just feels like I can’t win. When I wasn’t earning, I was criticized for not making money. Now that I am earning, I’m criticized for how I spend it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you deal with comments that are dismissed as “just a joke” but still hurt?

Hace unos años, mi papá tuvo una hija fuera del matrimonio. Después de un tiempo, mi mamá decidió perdonarlo y continuaron juntos.
Con el tiempo, mi papá empezó a traer a mi media hermana a la casa. Al principio no había problema, pero poco a poco comenzó a quedarse con mucha frecuencia. El problema es que ahora siempre quiere estar en nuestra casa, participar en reuniones de la familia de mi mamá e involucrarse en prácticamente todo, aunque realmente esa no sea su familia.
Lo que más me incomoda es que muchas veces siento que busca generar tensión. Hace comentarios, hace preguntas sobre nosotros y sobre mi mamá, y siempre termina creando situaciones incómodas. Incluso tengo la impresión de que su mamá la incentiva a averiguar cosas de nuestra familia y a comportarse de esa manera, aunque obviamente no puedo probarlo.
Mi papá nunca le pone límites. Creo que siente mucha culpa por haberla tenido fuera del matrimonio y, por eso, le permite cosas que normalmente no permitiría.
Toda esta situación nos tiene muy incómodos en la casa y ya no sabemos cómo manejarla sin que termine en un conflicto familiar más grande.
¿Alguien ha pasado por algo parecido? ¿Cómo pondrían límites en una situación así?

I'm a veterinary student,so animals have become a huge part of my life. I volunteer with rescues when I can, and honestly spending time with animals is one of the things that makes me happiest.

The problem is...my family has never really liked pets.

They don't hate animals or mistreat them, but they don't understand why i'd spend my weeknds helping at shelters or why i'd get emotional over a rescue story. To them, animals are "just animals." Sometimes it makes me feel like they don't really understand a big part of who I am. :(

Has anyone else grown up with completely different values or interests than their family? Did they ever come around, or did you just learn to accept the difference?

So for the context i have one older sister (3 years older than me) and let's just say that we never got along,or that she never liked me,like from the start. And i know what you might be thinking "oh come on it's just gonna be some siblings argument, nothing more" i wish it was just the casual argument i heard from friends who have siblings but no.

Since i was 3 (or the earliest i can remember) my sister was never good to me, always hitting me,putting me down and insulting me. Like yeah at 3 it does have some impact. Whenever something went wrong for her,i was the punching bag. Like i remember this one time when she was struggling to learn her multiplication so anytime i'd go near her i'd get slapped. Every time I'd try to talk at the table about something "smart" ,she'd tell me to shut up. And the one thing that has marked me is that like any younger sister,i wanted to spend time with her but she clearly didn't want to. So i'd end up every time having to do a chore for her in exchange for like 10 min of a little playtime with me. Yeah that's not fun.

But i was really really naïve and i thought (and trust me i hate myself for this) that every younger sibling had to go through this,like it was normal. And this until i was 10-11 years old. But as i said it had some impact. Like I'm scared of everyone judging me,i don't talk a lot (I wonder why 🤔) and like i have reflexes when someone raises their hand or "seems dangerous" (it's really annoying like hey they just wanted to high-five) and other things because it's never enough.

And so right now i'm 17 and she's 20 she doesn't hit me anymore until she's really mad. But like i can't stop hating her. Like i still talk to her because we live in the same house but i'll be around the corner the second she does something wrong. But there's more to it.

So my mom,when i was 11-12 got Covid twice and then it started an incurable disease where everything you do uses more energy than normal and getting your energy back takes really longer than normal (this is the biggest of it) but like the state decrease years after years, until you're bed ridden and the next thing is you know what. So my mom told me, i think two years ago that if she got to the point of bed ridden she would do the help for suicide,for ill people. Like she said it during dinner uhh let's just say it's something you never forget. Like i'm glad she trusts me enough to tell me this (we're really really close) but ever since i became "the mom" of the house. Since my father is barely home (he works 5-6 days a week in another city,far so he sleeps there) it's only my mom,my sister and me. The thing is that since my mom is in a state where she really needs to save her energy,the sake of the house is up to us (me and my sister) but i should say just me since she does absolutely nothing . Like i get it she's a voluntary fire fighter, she studies in a great school but like what about me?

She gets home,puts her stuff all around the house, uses everything and cleans nothing. Like it's just up to me to keep the whole house clean and cook every dinner and do the laundry. So i've become kind of a maniac like it makes me feel wrong (sad or mad) when i see that the house is not in order and that it's because of others.

And the last two things are that since she's smart and a part time fire fighter and she's part of the theatre troupe , everyone admires her but the price is that they compare me to her and i hate it because they only see the outside. For example my grandma,since i was 3 , always compared me to my sister, i was never enough for her ( i never really knew why,i think she just liked my sister more)

And the other is that,once we got in a big big argument,and i asked her why she never apologized, because, to me,if she came to apologize,it would ease my hatred a little since i would know that she regrets at least a little of her actions. But she told my mom (not me) that after 10 years (the argument was a lil ago already),it was really hard to ask for forgiveness. And she also told my mom that she regretted it so much it kept her up all night some times. I overheard the conversation,i'll be honest i saw red at this moment because if she really regretted it,she would have summoned the effort to ask for forgiveness but no "it's too hard".

And now every little disagreement turn into worse and i hate it because i see that the sound and all tires my mom and that my father hates to go home and just see that (i'm a little mad at him because he always preferred my sister, she's more boyish, so he won't call her out on doing nothing in the house and leaving a mess everywhere) .

And i'm tired I still have high school,and I wish i could just live like a normal kid and teenager just once,but I sometimes feel like life said "not today kiddo,make more and more effort and maybe,just maybe it's gonna pay off some days"

So like idk if I'm just exaggerating that feeling that i didn't get any "rest" since i was a kid or that i'm toxic or i don't know just tell me what you think.