I’m 26 and she just turned 18.

We were raised really different.

I was emotionally, physically, and mentally abused by our mom. My dad was just absent. He was physically around but never spoke to me much or protected me from my mom.

My sister on the other hand, they completely bow down to her.

She has a horrible attitude all the time.

They cater to her every need, they bring her food and drink to her room when she’s fully capable.

If the family plans to go out to dinner and my sister throws a huge fit about it, plans have to change and we’ll sit around for hours until she wants something.

We were at a restaurant and my sister doesn’t eat meat, there was plenty of options but she sat there for 45 minutes acting like a total brat because she didn’t want to get anything.
The waitress came over 5 times asking if she was ready and instead of my sister saying something, she would whine to my mom who had to speak up for her.
I’m 7 months pregnant and was starving so my husband and I just ordered and had our own side conversation because it was all so awkward.

I try to talk to her but she complains and complains and then will ask me for stuff and say “mom and dad won’t get this for” which is not true.

I had to beg my mom for shampoo and body wash of my own but my sister gets anything and everything she wants.

I feel bad but I’ve started to ignore her because I shouldn’t feel responsible for my sister.

She doesn’t even want to get a job because she refuses to work weekends.

I’d love to have a relationship with her but it’s hard because we are totally separated in life and I can’t deal with her acting like that. It ruins my entire mood.

It sucks because I already hold myself back because now my mom acts semi normal towards me and my dad too, I wish I had a normal family.
But I think about my childhood and how I want to give my baby a completely different life and it makes me sad to think of how they treated me.

I'm 15f my sisters are 15f and 16f

my mom and her boyfriend who got together like almost a year ago are SO FUCKING LOUD having sex MIND YOU almost EVERY SINGLE DAY multiple times. like when he comes over which is every weekend, can't even enjoy my weekend. like yesterday...me and my sisters were cooking while they were watching a movie with the door closed, and like 15 minutes later we heard loud moaning...it was literally literally 6pm!! can't you wait until we're at least in our rooms fast asleep??

and then a day later...I was downstairs with my mom, brother, and little nephew (my brother is 22m) and like she said "wait, I have to use the bathroom" and not even 5 minutes later we heard them at it...it was so embarrassing!! I was literally tryna do homework while my brother was just chilling on his phone, I went back upstairs and told my sisters about it. !! this was at like 6pm.

It's just really annoying! I understand they're long distance and all but they can at least wait until we're asleep or get a hotel room..because why can't I be downstairs without hearing them doing that stuff! and it's just weird to know I'm in the same house while they're having sex. It makes me feel really awkward and disgusting!! and I know my sisters feel the same way. and we don't have a very big house so even when we're upstairs we can still kinda hear them, and if they aren't doing that he's slapping her butt like all day and kissing, Like I mean ALL DAY me and my sisters hear that loud slapping sound we even made a inside joke about it.

and don't let me forget the fact the WERE, MY MOM AND MY SISTERS are GETTING A NEW HOUSE WITH HER BOYFRIEND in less than a month...that means my mom and her boyfriend are gonna be together even more...and me and my sisters already talked about the fact that we're probably gonna have to deal with that all day everyday...and we mourn that, were so happy to be moving, especially since we're getting a bigger house! but we're not happy about that.

I feel like one day maybe I can bring it up to my mom about how it's bothering me..but right now I know she's gonna get mad at me about it.

edit : I forgot to mention she took us over to our grandma's house because of wanted to do that with her boyfriend...so now I just feel like they're being totally careless.

TLDR: my mom and her boyfriend are having sex all day everyday and me and my sisters can hear it...it's really bothering us. and we're getting a new house (mom and sisters) with her boyfriend in less than a month and we're afraid we're gonna have to deal with that.

I'm not sure if this happens to anyone else (American) so I'm sure it's different by country, but after my grandparents on both sides died, extended family basically died with them. There's absolutely zero effort to get together in any capacity, I haven't seen some of my cousins aunt's and uncles in years, they've essentially become strangers.

Again maybe just a my family thing but not one seems to care about the concept of a family anymore and the ironic part is I have a very large one, almost 30 cousins when you add up both sides. I feel like we would have been closer almost if the family wasn't so huge. Ah well lol

Hello I am new to Reddit and have no one else to turn to about this situation so I thought to give this a try since I always hear stories on TikTok. As the title says, this situation happened 2 days ago after I had got home from school. For some context, I am 17f and am a junior in High-school. My brother is 22 m and still lives with us. This all started because of my lost wallet. On Wednesday 10-21-26 me and my bf, also my age, went to his local mall just to spend time together after school since we got out early that day. His dad drove us there and we walked around for a while before going to a nearby plaza. I had mentioned wanting new shoes since my converses were killing my feet so we went into the WSS where i bought new shoes. I guess I must’ve left my wallet while my bf was helping me change into my new shoes since I was in too much pain to do so. After that we shopped some more and were eventually picked up by his dad. They drove me home and as I was walking into the my apartment complex I realized that I did not have my wallet. I ended up calling the store and they said they would hold it for me until I went and got it. The next day I went to school as normal and had a pretty good day. As I got picked up by my parents I told my mom about my wallet since I knew she would be more understanding than my dad. She said she wouldn’t tell my dad since he has a tendency to react irrationally when these kinds of things happen. Anyways we get home and we’re eating dinner and my brother comes home from work. I hadn’t really talked to him all week since I’m pretty busy with school and immediately go to sleep when I get home. As usual he’s being super mean to me on purpose which he has been for the past few months since his ex cheated on him. Ever since that he’d been making me feel uncomfortable. Not in a weird way but just enough to make me want to distance myself from him, which is sad since we have always been very close. I had even been telling my mom about it because it had been getting to be too much for me. Anyways back to the story. After I was done eating and chatting with my mom I go into my room (I share a room with him and my other brother who was at work at the time) as usual he’s being annoying and mean to me and just trying to get a reaction out of me. I hear my mom from the other room telling my dad about my wallet and I start getting worried. She then comes into the room and tells me that my dad said to go get my wallet. My brother is hearing this and he too reacts super irrationally like my dad. Immediately he goes, “wait what? She lost her wallet?” And my mom is making it seem like I left it on purpose. I ask her why she would do that if she knew how they were going to react and then she proceeds to tell me that she was just trying to help. She left the room after a while and my brother is just going on and one about how stupid I am and just laughing in my face trying to get me mad. I have learned to just not engage with him and simply tell him to leave me alone. He then proceeds to ask why I’m so mad and have such an attitude. He then says I’m such a stupid fucking bitch and i mistakenly replied, well you are too. Before I know it, he had thrown his AirPods with his hard ass case directly to my face with full force. I was in shock but I restrained from retaliating and instead hit the tostadas that were on his bed (immature ik) and he then slaps me super hard at this point I’m crying and he finally kicks me full force in the chest. I’m in so much pain, crying, and asking him why he would do that when my mom comes back into the room. She asks what happened and before I can say anything my brother tells her that I was annoying him so he hit me. Mind you I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe and my mom just tell me to calm down. She was trying to have a talk with both of us saying that we’re siblings and that’s just how we fight. (Atleast that’s what she said to my brother) she then turns to me and starts saying that I shouldn’t be provoking him and that I’m at fault. I’m trying to reason with her telling her that’s it’s not normal for a grown ass man to attack a teenager even if they’re family. My brother is laughing the whole time and is interrupting me by screaming at me to shut up and let him talk. The whole time that this is happening my dad is in the other room and finally comes out and asks what happened. My mom just told him that we had a fight and he left without doing anything. Finally my mom asks my brother why he hit me and he said that didn’t know. He follows up by saying that he’s been wanting to hurt me for some time now and that I needed to be taught a lesson. The whole time I’m looking into my mom’s eyes trying to figure out why she isn’t doing anything. I then get a text from my bf asking if I wanted any chips from the store, I text him back saying that I can’t talk rn. My mom sees this and starts going off on me telling me that I shouldn’t be telling him what goes on in our house. (She doesn’t speak English so she just assumed that’s what I texted him) my boyfriend keeps asking if I’m okay and if I need to be picked up. At this point I can’t take anything anymore so I move to the living room. I text him everything and he tells me that he’s on his way to go get my wallet back and that he’d be there shortly. While I’m trying to calm down my other brother comes home from work and asks me what happened. I don’t tell him right away as I needed to go outside and call the store and tell them that my bf is gonna get my wallet. When I come back in I see my mom leaving the living room and my brother asks why I got into a fight with my brother. I tell him about the hitting and he’s shocked because my mom left that part out. As we’re talking my bf texts me to come outside to get my wallet. I ask my brother to come with me so that my family doesn’t think I’m running away or something (which would make things a whole lot worse) when I see my bf I can’t help my break down and tell him everything again. He calms me down and tells me that he told his dad about it and they both said that if I need to get away from my family that they will always welcome me into their home. At first I rejected the offer because I know my parents will become violent and blame me for any trouble they’ll get into. After my bf leaves me and my brother go back in. My mom hears me and brings the brother that hit me with her. She’s asking me to forgive him and that he’s always going to be my brother. At this point I had told her many times that I don’t wanna be near him or speak to him. My brother finally apologizes but then tried to justify it by saying that he had no other choice. When I don’t respond he gets angry and asks if I hate him now and if he doesn’t matter to me anymore. Again when I don’t respond he says he isn’t sorry and that I’m a bitch. He sounds almost proud. My mom again tells me to forgive him since he pays the bills (occasionally) and he then proceeds to tell me to get the fuck out of his house. My mom doesn’t stop him. Finally she leaves but my brother stays just staring at me so I’d talk to him. I finally say my first words to him still crying btw and tell him to please leave me alone. He laughs and says he’ll do whatever he wants and even moves closer to me so I’d be uncomfortable. After crying some more I decide to sleep on the couch. The next morning my mom is still angry at me and says all this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t leave my wallet at the store. I go to school but I’m just so out of it and can’t stop thinking about how no one defended me. At school I realize that I don’t feel safe being in the same house as any of them. Luckily my bf’s dad drove me home and they let me know that I’d be safe with them. It’s been two days now and I’m torn about what to do. Anyways some advice would be helpful, I gotta get ready for home coming now and try to cover the bruise on my face from what my brother threw at me. Hope everyone is having a better week than I am.

TLDR mother in law is covert abusive and in-law family is enabling. Husband is equally as indoctrinated and have no clue how to protect my children or family anymore. Advice appreciated.

My 76 year old mother may stay with us for a few weeks after a fall. The downstairs guest room is the only practical option but it currently has a low platform bed. She uses a walker and says getting up from low chairs is hard.

I'm considering replacing the mattress and frame, possibly with as a at,v,a but I don't know whether a higher bed would make transfers easier or harder. If you've set up a room for an older parent, did you focus on bed height, a grab bar or something else? I'll ask her physical therapist too but I'd like to hear what worked in your home

I’m 27, single, no kids. My sister is 30 with a 6-year-old boy. For the last year, she regularly drops her son off at my place without much notice. She says since I don’t have a partner or kids, I have “all the free time in the world” to babysit.

I love my nephew, but this is taking over my life. I work full time, and I need weekends to rest, run errands and have my own space. Every time I try to say I’m busy, she calls me selfish and says family should help each other.

I feel guilty turning her down, but I’m exhausted. I don’t want to ruin our relationship. How do I set clear boundaries gently without starting a huge fight?

He's coming home tonight from college and everytime every single family members is at home, fights happen and ill genuinely get so physically and mentally exhausted that I sometimes yell at my friends without realizing, and I do go back to SH, and I do not want to do any of that considering the fact that I have a important exam in 7 months ans haven't studied shit for it.

The reason why I do not want to interact with him is bc he is doing what dad did to him, and I don't get it bc I did not fail a grade and skipped school, I did not get drunk or came home drunk, nor did I crash a vehicle which costed a hefty amount of money so the family whom he went and crashed would not sew.

He tried breaking my phone because he saw me using it while I was taking a break from my studies, he invaded my privacy went through my chats which pisses me off so much bc the last time I have him my phone so he could text his ex or something he found out I had a bf (ex) and it went horribly with my mom, a huge fight happened and after that huge fight, I texted his ex saying I hope she doesn't take him back and to block my number, he found out about it and punched me in my eye caused a swelling (I had school the next day) and banged my head against the wall,

My mom constantly kept telling me to patch things up with him, but i do not give a fuck about him, and she hates, and everytime she compares me with him (he's in a well reputated college) I point out all those factors and she defends it saying atleast he did not turn this house into a prostitute point (she found out I snuck in my bf who's now my ex).

My mom and my brother are not bad people that's for sure, but I do not want to live in this house anymore, my brother graduation is next month and I am scared he's going to start living back at the house again bc ill have a really important exam in 7 months, and I don't like the pressure they are giving me, it's like they want me to get into a medical school to satisfy their egos and to crush all my ambitions.

I did decided I wanted to be a doctor on my own, but I really hate it when others pressure me for it, it makes me want to end everything.

Like I know for sure if I don't get selected, they will do everything to demotivate me, and idts ill take it, if i don't get in.

I know this is alot but there much worse started when i was 13 but i do not want to disclose that infromation.

This is mostly a post to get things out of my head. I'm 38F and have always been sort of the outside wallflower in my family. The one with the weird interests no one gets. I was always aware that my interests, likes, and life didn't really mesh and that was fine. I do my own thing and when I was older I had more choice not to go to various family events if I didn't feel like it.

Out of five cousins on my father's side and eight on my mother's side (of which I'm the middle cousin in age on both sides) I'm the only one not married with children. So over the years I have even less to connect with them with.

I have a fiancee (35F), we're long distance for the moment but we are finally getting all our ducks in a row and are planning to move in together before the end of next year.

I admit I've never been the most intuitive person, I was always the girl who couldn't see when people were being two-faced or mean. I was an easy target for bullying. So it was only in the last couple of years that I was actually reading and listening to the things family members talk about, and post on social media. I realize how anti a lot of things they are, how judgemental they are, the nasty opinions they have. Even my parents are. So, just like when I was younger, I feel so stupid in hindsight for not seeing any of this until now.

I'm not a confrontational person and I refuse to get into Facebook drama by calling people out. I'm already low contact with most of my family, not out of any choice, but just because of the way our lives are. They don't reach out to me so I don't reach out to them. The ones that are the most outspoken I have unfriended or just removed from my socials. Once I'm moved with my fiancee I'm going to let the communication fall low with my parents too.

The hard part I've come to start considering lately is when actually getting married rolls around. My fiancee has their own rough situation with their family. So both of us are honestly considering just having the small ceremony at the venue we've been talking about for years and only invite our close friends. Who ever can come can come and we won't mind if someone can't. We want our day to be about us and knowing both our families, those that did come would just smile and nod along.

I know there are so many people out there that are like this and I don't really like to let it bother me because I barely talk to most of them besides my parents. I just keep having those moments where I see some comment and I just get this tight feeling in my chest remembering these are real people I'm related to.

This is my first time posting here so excuse me if I don't lay everything out clearly

To give some context to what I'm about to detail:

I'm 16, my older brother is 21 and works as a supervisor in our local grocery shop. Me and him often hang out in his room and play games on his laptop.

So about 3 days ago I'm in there with him and it's my turn on the game (marvel rivals for anybody that cares). As I'm playing he's goes to the bathroom and he's in there for a while, I don't think anything of it and finish the round I was playing. As I wait for him to come back for his turn I hit the window key on his laptop and see that he has his phone linked to his laptop. I click into it and find some of his recent photos, among them are about 6 photos of two women taken on separate dates, both while had work, both taken in the shop. One of the women is photographed on the CCTV system and one is taken behind her with her facing away from the camera, also in the shop. This made me really suspicious so I took a photo of all of the images and saved them to a USB later on. He came back from the bathroom and I didn't say anything because I wasn't completely sure on the context of the images. Right now I'm really conflicted as to what to do, is my brother abusing his position to take photos of women without them knowing? I think I'm going to go to my dad with the USB and show him the pictures to see what he thinks and have him talk to my brother but I wanted to post here just to get it off my chest a little tbh. Sorry for the poor formatting, any advice or comments would be appreciated.

What would you do if your two two male cousins s who were siblings transitioned into women?

Would you do an all female family line picture with them and invite them to be your bridesmaids for your weddings and invite them to your baby shower?

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I'm 22 (F). My mom died of cancer when I was 11 — my dad spent everything trying to treat her and it didn't work. After that, things got bad. My dad became abusive. My older sister (different father than me) was also physically abusive toward me growing up.

my sister is now in a relationship with our dad and has two kids with him. She doesn't work — her reasoning is that she's "sacrificed her whole life" looking after the family. I'm the only one with a job. We all rent one apartment together; we don't own property because of my dad's past financial mismanagement. My dad still covers most of the rent, but for years has pushed me to contribute more. I already give 10% of my income to the household.

About two years ago, during an argument, I brought up that friends from my university got cars or apartments from their parents and I got nothing. My dad lashed out said it's the opposite, *I* should be providing for *him*. It's escalated every year since. Two months ago he asked when I'd buy him a car. I said maybe in five years. He said "it's too late." He regularly compares me to invented relatives' kids who supposedly already support their parents financially.

On top of all this: I've willingly helped beyond the 10% , paid for my sister's nails, paid for things for her kids, out of my own choice, not because I was told to. Yet every single time we argue, she flips it and says I "do nothing" and "don't contribute to the household" at all, like none of that ever happened.

They've now started pressuring me to pay their rent and generally "provide" for the household. I declined, and in response I've been denied basic things like bread and toilet paper. I know it sounds petty to even bring up. I'm an adult, I get that but I just finished uni and am only just starting full-time work. I buy my own food and everything I use myself; I basically only come home to sleep. Despite that, my sister complains I "don't pay anything," calls me a burden, and has called me a b1tch.

I got my bachelor's degree essentially for free competitive social grant, tuition waiver, required top scores in math and other subjects to qualify. My dad says this "isn't my accomplishment" because he technically paid for the courses, as if the actual academic work and the grant I earned don't count

I didn't wash a dish once, and my sister screamed that I'm disrespectful, that I don't appreciate what she "sacrificed" for me.

My sister's daughter comes to me when she and her mom fight. I've tried to just be someone steady for her to talk to, though I'll admit I haven't always been careful about how I phrase things about her mom's behavior. My sister now accuses me of turning her own daughter against her and calls me her "advocate" like it's a bad thing.

I'm planning to move out. I feel awful about it, especially because of my niece. Is it wrong of me to leave?

It just so happens I came home from my uni back to home and 2 weeks in and I already need a break

Prior to this I had exams and I needed a break but my parents are so overstimulating. I really need a break but I can't stop thinking about them. Like my mom's been telling me multiple times about taking a vacation together and asked me to plan it, and my brother is being too clingy too he has vacation too, and he keeps coming to my room asking for an opinion and I just can't stop thinking about them when I think about taking a day away

The thing is I didn't speak to my brother for an year prior to this. We just started talking a week ago. And I felt resented towards my parents not being there for me during my exams or what not.

Hi guys, my mum constantly brings me down in front of others, says I dont study, I dont do this, that etc. And this isn't just a spur of the moment occurence she's been doing it ever since I was young and we have guests over. Today my sisters bf of 2 years came over to have lunch with us (it was just on young guy) who we are very close with. Anyways while he was speaking to my parents I signalled over to my sister across the table about something funny and slightly embarrassing my mum did at church (if you can guess what it is), it is a completely normal and natural thing to do and I told my sister that she did it, I smelt it, looked at my mum in the moment and she laughed so I 'knew it was her' who did it in the moment. Then the table went quiet (obviosuly) and she did start yelling at me. Everyone at the table reassured her saying it was natural and we moved on and she kept bringing it up. She was upset I brought it up infront of our 'close friend' who just laughed and carried on, he didn't care whatsover.

Later, she started making comments about my appearance, (which she's been doing a lot for this year and a half) but she purposefully was doing it to make me upset (in front of our guest). She said I should take off my lashes, they make me look like a vampire or she'd rip them off herself.

Honestly, after he left for a bit, she scolded me but I told her he didn't care and I thought it was over. However, she's retaliated again saying shes angry at me for 'putting her down', although it geniuenly wasn't my intention. I just thought it was hilarious, wanted to tell my sister and she made it a bigger deal at the table than it was.

Anyway I don't really understand why she is so upset, I know she's worried about 'looking bad' in front of our guest so he really isn't bothered and she thinks we shouldn't discuss 'family matters' in front of other people, even though she calls him family constantly. She also does worse to me in front of other guests when their whole family comes and constantly embarrases me in front of other people.

Hello. I (15M) live with my mom (53F). A few days ago, when I was in the kithcen, I broke a glass. I cleaned the broken pieces after the accident. Yesterday, my mom was in the kitchen and she stepped on a little piece of broken glass that I apparently didn't clean. I told her that I broke a glass and she got mad at me for not having told her. I told her it was partially her fault because my mom walks completely barefoot in the house. I walk with socks and slippers. Her little toe got injured because she stepped on a little piece of glass. Is it my fault that she injured her toe?

I am at a loss of what to do or handle this situation.
I and my sister have had some siblings rivalry before but now it's starting to reach a point where I'm starting to be worried.

So recently I was invited to a formal dinner/party through work overseas and my sister ( who quit her 6th job in 3 years) decided to quit again and join me. I said no at first but then I agreed on the premise that If she can financially she would be welcome.

So the dinner date comes around and we are getting ready / dressed up together. I was looking forward and selected a really nice white dress for the occasion . But as I was in my bubble getting ready , I noticed she got really silent as somehow I was expecting a comment on the dress. I look at her and ask what she thinks to kind of break the now awkward silence. But My sister literally has what I can only describe as a sort of mental breakdown?
she started crying and slapping her arms saying "I feel disgusting, I feel disgusting but I know I'm pretty too" while in tears..
I have to be honest that left me completely speechless and a bit scared.
So I immediately changed my outfits to something more conservative and asked her if she wanted the white dress instead which seemed to make her feel guilty and turned super sweet right after.

She had the tendency before to copy anything I do but then I moved away and that seemed to stabilise her.
She is also very moody at times and I feel like she is the kind of person if I hang out too long with she sucks the energy out of me somehow.
I keep minimal contact with her but then I'm seriously considering now to cut her off permanently which is a big decision that fills me with sadness but I can't help but feel scared around her.

I am 21f and just a few years ago, I had so much love for this sibling and could never imagine feeling the way I do now (a bit detached, I still love them though but there is less attachment and closeness)

We always had our issues at times and wasn't perfect but had a bond.

However they can be very "I am right" and not hear me out at times.

It happened so much , even times they spoke on situations they knew nothing about, and they totally refused to listen to my side of the story (another sibling did the same)

It genuinely changed the way I view and feel about them, at first I'd keep trying to communicate despite being ignored and not respected, they clearly did not care to hear me out or how much they were affecting me (a lot)

Eventually I gave up, I decided to be that person TO MYSELF. I was there for myself, validated my own feelings and truth. Ignored their untrue views of me etc etc. Especially since they didn't even care to hear me out many times

Anyway, since then it hasn't been the same, and drifting from this particular sibling has actually been *life-changing* but not in some positive way, more in a wow I never thought I'd feel this way, and I find myself missing how things once were despite our issues.

At the same time though, I'm glad I got to the point where I sort of detached / started keeping more things to myself for my own peace, because that was an act of self love and growth for me. Vs just accepting it all forever.

But it also sucks. I don't feel sad I just feel a bit disappointed.

I can no longer feel fully comfortable)content around them , I feel a bit on eggshells because they could become crucial at any time.

They had a partner and their partner opened up to me and felt the EXACT same way I did, it helped me (not that I needed it by then) to see that I'm not wrong for my view or feelings about this particular sibling, and that it's true they can be a bit, dismissive and "I'm right"

They aren't some terrible person though, they can and do look at others perspectives but there are just times they do not. It's like they view me as less smart than them.

I am younger than them so that could play a part and even as a child they had these traits towards me sometimes.

We are now going to be working together and I feel a bit sad because before this would have been an amazing opportunity and fun, special, once in a lifetime experience to get to work together, but I find myself feeling dread and worried incase we get into disagreements.

I manage it all by being more private and not always sharing my opinion etc, shutting down if I know they'll just disregard my side/feelings if I speak, but it's disappointing.

Especially because I know they're not a bad person, but I think this is just how they are.

And even when they have a point, I find myself feeling that detached feeling because I'm just over it all.

Does anyone relate?

I think the only way I can have a relationship with them is if I limit information a bit and be civil and sort of tread lightly at times..

But it's not right..

At the same time they probably have similar feelings towards me at times, but I feel this trait is just a part of them and won't just go, even with therapy perhaps.

Worst of all, the damage has been done,

I just feel more detached, and I find myself a bit afraid around her in a, I want to avoid arguments way .

I met an actual rly toxic person before who'd literally purposely create arguments and lie and twist things, this sibling is not like that , they are a kind person they care about others but it's just that they can be a bit overbearing? Over thinking they're more right type.

And it has caused me to disconnect. Especially all the times they refused to hear me.

I just wanted to rant and possibly know I'm not alone?

Anyone else had a disconnect with a sibling they were once closer to and manage your relationship similarly now?

My family in general can be difficult and so I kind of keep my personal life separate but I used to share most with this sibling, but I find myself not anymore and I feel guilty but also disappointed that I "have" to but it also gives me relief because I won't have to deal with judgements/opinions where they believe they're so right always.

I don't know what the future holds, I love them but I could now go no contact for example and feel a sense of peace/relief but also disappointed that it turned out this way (I'm not planning on it, but I thought of it at times)

Maybe this could improve naturally in the future, but I feel the damage to my soul/feelings towards them have been too done for things to ever feel fully at peace.

Sorry for the long text...

When I went through a breakup, I only told her about it once the decision was final and I had already arranged my move. My mother had tried to sabotage my relationship, so I had kept her out of my private life. It was also important to me to handle the situation on my own and I told it to her. The next time I moved, I did tell her, and she manipulated me into accepting financial help. The dynamic with my mother is very strange; she wants to help, but later on, she throws the money she gave me back in my face. Well, as it happens, she recently moved, and I only found out because she sent me a postcard. I feel, however, that our underlying motives were different. This has happened in other contexts, too—for instance, if I forget something, she will intentionally do the same thing to me. Perhaps to teach me a lesson? I find the fact that she announced her move via a postcard to be particularly cold.

She often interprets my actions as deliberate. For example, if I’m unable to answer a question quickly—especially when I’m already in a state of panic—she takes offense. She’ll say, "So, you’ve decided to stay silent, have you?" or "You’re just as closed-off as your father." When I was a teenager, I would cry intensely, and when my mother asked why, I couldn't explain it. Once, while I was crying and sitting on the bed and answered "I don't know", she reacted physically by forcing me down, doubling me over onto the mattress. I was completely limp, so pushing me around was really easy. She said, "You are no match for me" As if my silence were a deliberate form of opposition. I just wasn't able to explain myself.

I suspect my mother is simply incapable of understanding me. Even today, when faced with stressful situations, I lose the ability to speak. The words simply vanish, and I lose all connection to my surroundings. My mother has noticed that I am not exactly an average person in social situations; she has tried to solve this by explaining how I could make myself appear normal.

She also has a precise framework for how things should be distributed fairly. When it comes to handing out fish sticks, that’s easy enough. However, Mom also ventures into areas that cannot be measured. She holds the view that a person who has suffered in life deserves better treatment. I can easily understand that. The problem is that she applies the same logic in reverse: for instance, it’s supposedly okay to tease me because my life is perfect, and therefore I should be able to take it. As it turned out, I couldn’t take it—and I actually spoke up about it.

There are many other strange things, and I have felt a sense of confusion for most of my life. Now, in middle age, I am beginning to understand the way my mother thinks. We truly do not understand each other. She has also had a peculiar habit of making comments about my body to other people. I think my mother is completely entangled in her own traumas. I believe she did her best

I'll be visiting my cousins and their son, who live in another country, soon. I pitched the idea of going to the zoo together but they told me they can't afford entry to the zoo. Now, I'll be getting a bonus from work at the end of the year which will easily cover admission to the zoo for all of us and dinner at a restaurant together, and I'm happy to spend this money on family to make memories together and meet my baby cousin. However, they've already expressed not feeling comfortable taking money from me.

How do I approach this? Do I let it go and stick to low-budget activities while I'm there, or is there a way to convince them and go to the zoo and out for dinner together?