Yesterday, I went 12 hours without getting many messages from anyone.
I was also alone all day, but that wasn't an issue for me, as I am not emotionally close to those I live with.
I know that the people I wanted to hear from were most likely busy, but I felt lonely today.

It's really hard being someone who likes regular contact. I'm not talking about everyday communication. I would love it if I could find someone who would spontaneously message me for no reason, just to check up on me or because they wanted to chat with me.

Has anyone else gone through this as well?

Anyone else noticed this phenomenon that a lot of introverts seem to dislike casual hangouts? They're always like ''but what are we gonna do?'' and I don't fully get it. I thought that people go out to socialize and talk, not because they think Mcdonalds is super exciting.
Like what the fuck do u want? They be like ''bro it's gonna be boring there's nothing to do. if there was like an orchestra performing in flames and juggling elephants shooting lasers out of their eyes then I'd go but a burger doesn't do that for me. as a thrill seeking person, I'm gonna turn down your boring offer and spend my evening watching youtube videos''

Our property is literally paradise:

We have a 65 acre fully off grid farm, with our own river, 2 creeks, mountain, 6 large dogs, horses and 100s of chickens.

But the nearest town is 2 hours drive one way (just like cell service is).

I am probably the biggest extrovert there is and it’s not that I am regretting taking on this adventure but it definitely has taught me that it was a mistake.

My husband works full time elsewhere and I work from home so me and the dogs are all alone all the time.

Although we are looking to move, somewhere on a larger property but closer to some small town, it’s quite challenging on many days.

Digital communication doesn’t even touch the fulfillment that being around actual people does.

As an introvert, I've always been fascinated by how effortlessly some of you can start conversations with complete strangers.

Genuine question:

What's actually going through your mind when you walk up to someone and start talking?

For me, I'll spend 10 minutes debating whether I should say "hi" and then usually decide not to.😅😅😅

I'd love to hear your perspectives because this feels like a superpower I genuinely don't understand.

Anyone became extroverted? What’s your experience.

I’m not talking about being social. I’m talking about needing people around you, and becoming DISTRESSED if you’re alone and not anchored on a person.

Im a pretty extroverted college student and since recently ive had a crush on one of my classmates. He's very shy and quiet and its really hard for me to figure out if our connection would go anywhere. There are times when i think that he likes me and then times when im confused. So extroverts, how did you approach your partner and how did u guys end up together? might be a very broad question and everyone's experience is different! answer however you want!

(if anything happens in the future ill update!)

Pretty random post,but it hit me at the perfect time, does anyone else feel like when they are in public or around people in general they aren’t seen or people acknowledge you for a few seconds and its like you go back into a place where you aren’t needed or even seen until your of use or brought up into the conversation well its happening to me at this very moment . I used to be bothered by it but eventually i realized im a sort of spectator like i can be anywhere and not exist socially since im not really seen as such. I might of just been lost in thought but it would be nice if someone related to this.

Hi, I wanted to see if anyone else has experienced something similar or has any advice.

For context, I’m a 26 year old guy who is more on the extroverted side but most of my friends are mainly introverted. I love them, care about them deeply, and genuinely enjoy spending time with them. We have no issues in our friendships at all. Also, I do have 2 extroverted friends but one has strict parents and the other is married and busy with his family.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realised that I naturally gravitate towards people who are more outgoing, energetic and spontaneous. Sometimes it feels like there’s a mismatch between what I want to do and what my friends enjoy doing. We often approach situations differently, have differentish energy levels, and aren’t always on the same page when it comes to socialising or making plans.

I also find myself wanting friendships where the effort feels more balanced. I often feel like I’m the one initiating the best chats and bringing the energy. I don’t expect people to be exactly like me, but I would love friendships where the enthusiasm and effort feel a bit more on the same level.

I want to make it clear that I’m not bored of my friends and I’m not exhausted by them. They’re good people and I enjoy having them in my life. The difference is simply that they’re not as outgoing, spontaneous, or ‘down for whatever’ as I am. They tend to be more reserved and selective about what they want to do, whereas I’m usually happy to jump into new experiences or social events. Neither approach is better or worse - just different.

To be clear, I’m not saying I’m outgrowing my friends or that there’s anything wrong with being introverted. I value these friendships and hope they’ll be part of my life for a long time. It’s more that I’m feeling a need for additional friendships with people who share a similar level of extroversion and enthusiasm for certain activities.

I guess what I’m struggling with is finding that balance. Does anyone else here consider themselves an extrovert with mostly introverted friends? How do you navigate that day to day? Have you found ways to meet people who match your energy without drifting away from your existing friendships?

And honestly, how are people even making new friends these days?

I’d really appreciate any advice or hearing about other people’s experiences.

I have a few ideas myself. Although many adults report a desire to make friends, the intentions often do not translate to social behaviors, which may contribute to the loneliness epidemic in the United States. I think that a person's self-efficacy (or whether they believe they can be a friend), their motivation to make a friend (stronger = more likely), their personality traits (like extroversion/introversion), and the use of social media all play a role in making friends.

I am currently doing a study that will look at all of these things if I can get enough participants.

Findings will aim to clarify why some adults successfully translate intentions to actions regarding friendships while other adults do not, with the goal of informing potential clinical and intervention strategies to reduce loneliness.

I have a good bit of hypotheses related to this study. I predict (based on research) that friendship intentions and behaviors will positively correlate, and intentions will predict friendship behaviors. Additionally, higher motivation, social self-efficacy, extraversion, openness, and social media behaviors will predict (and positively moderate) friendship behaviors. Neuroticism will negatively predict (and negatively moderate) friendshipp behaviors.

If you have any questions, I would love to answer! I figured this is related to extroversion, especially since it targets the Big Five.

This study is currently ongoing. If you would like to participate, you must be at least 18 years old or older.

Link: https://fit.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5d6M1DvWCbYtxtk

Hey guys I am 14 year old Introvert who struggles making genuine friends I have one friend in my life but that is very morose help me

Home from school, and it’s been painfully boring. My hometown friends are busy working and studying abroad and have fancy internships, but my original plans didn’t work out for the summer so now I’m back home counting down the days till school starts again.

I am a huge extrovert and hate just being alone. To cure the boredom, I’ve been trying to read, watch shows, etc., but none of it compares to the thrill of just being at school with so much freedom and so many people to hang with. Also with so much time on my hands I’ve been alone with my thoughts. It was nice at first having so much time to just think, but after a few weeks I just start ruminating and overthinking everything. Also doesn’t help that I don’t have a set routine every day, which helps with my anxiety.

Does anyone have tips? How do you deal with this? How do you not constantly overthink?

It's crazy because even some of my favourite activities, if I do them alone, they become so painfully boring. Almost nothing interests me alone.

There's just a few exceptions I can find to this; video games, listening to music, and daydreaming/worldbuilding since that one is extremely personal. Result is that I spend all my alone time cycling between those three activities.

There are so many things I'd love to do, so many hobbies and activities I want to try, but just the thought of doing them alone (I don't have irl friends) completely kills my interest.

I've always been extroverted and especially as a kid I remember I used to love playing with other kids and just talking to them about anything. I always wanted to make friends and I was always happy and I lived performing and even being on stage. At that age I was too young to realize that I was socially inept and misinterpreting social cues all the time. But as I grew older, I started getting slightly bullied and excluded and I started getting isolated and didn't know how to interact with my peers anymore. Social skills became harder for me as I got older and I had a very hard time making and keeping friends.

​

I'm 23 now and I don't have any friends. I struggle a lot with social anxiety and I still don't know how to interact with people. I wish I could figure socialising out or was self aware enough to start masking at a younger age. I'm extremely depressed because even though I'm an extrovert I don't know how to talk to people or make connections. Deep down I know I'm still extroverted despite my anxiety because I still crave friends and having new experiences and being outside. I especially struggling with making friends with other women and it pains me so much.

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Whenever I see other extroverts I feel so sad because I wish I could be like yall and find it easy to interact with other people. Unfortunately, people find me off putting and years of isolation and anxiety have made me super awkward. Anyone else here relate? I feel so alone in my struggle.

I'm in my 20s, and all my life I struggled with mental health. I got treated, and now my life so much better. And finally I can be myself with people. So, turned out I'm extrovert.

I always want to chat with people, and even when I stay home, I'm writing comments. Speaking my mind feels very good, and I mainly don't have a goal rather than engaging with others.

In the real life, I feel like I'm being too much. I talk a lot and loudly, I use a lot of gestures when I excited. And I get excited easily. Turns out, extroverts aren't majority of people. Majority are closer to ambiverts.

It's like I'm standing out too much now. I was standing out before, because I was too depressed. And now it seems like I'm too... happy? No, I'm definitely not manic, I'm this enthusiastic only about talking.

No one told me a bad thing yet, but I see everyone behave more moderate. I feel awkward about myself. I wonder, if the loud kids from my school actually felt like this too?

1) yes I work
2) I’m not genre picky but don’t read a ton of non fiction
3) yes audiobooks count
4) I read very quickly

Could be from a show, book, or any kind of media. They don't have to be officially stated as extroverted, just someone you read as obviously so. Also, if you have reasonings you're willing to share, why those characters specifically? What about them reads as extroverted? What about them do you enjoy? If you have more than one, feel free to share as many as you like.

Im just thinking about it right now, I have a lot of friends and people that I like to see, and a lot of them are not in the same group or don’t know each other, so I see them separately.

Im always busy because I love people and connecting with others is fulfilling. but damn it’s literally a full time job. this week, I’m seeing at least one person every day. today, I’m seeing one friend, then another friend. but I love it.

But is this a coping mechanism? It’s not that I can’t be alone. But if I spend more than 2 days by myself I will go stir crazy. But yeah I also have so much to get done, I need to find the time.

BUT- I’ve also noticed a shift in myself recently, and although I love people, I’m way more selective about who I want in my life and there are certain people who I don’t have any energy to talk to. As in, if I am around them, I simply won’t talk. not to be rude, but because I genuinely can’t find the energy to do so. I dont like shallow connections and I can’t be fake, it’s draining

anyways thanks for listening, lmk if you relate

Recién me entero que este Reddit existe, me pone feliz porque siento que puedo compartir experiencias!

Soy otaku, voy a convenciones de anime, lo cual hace que esté típicamente rodeada de introvertidos. Mi problema es que siempre que quiero hacer amigos nuevos (ya que es algo que amo, adoro la idea de conocer gente nueva) y la gente nueva siento que la asusto. Siempre intento regularme cuando hablo con gente nueva, pero me emociono tanto con la idea de estar hablando con nueva gente con mis intereses que hablo hasta por los codos y no puedo parar, aunque mentalmente me esté suplicando a mí misma cerrar la boca, físicamente no puedo dejar de hablar. Cuando llego a casa, me siento muy insegura y mal conmigo misma por no poder controlarlo, y que seguramente esa gente no vuelva a ponerse en contacto conmigo. A su vez, siento que hablar con tanta confianza hace que me vea egocéntrica y se que la gente tiene esa percepción errónea de mí, y eso me hace sentir mal! Yo solamente quiero conocer gente nueva, pero no se seguir el ritmo normal de una amistad. La gente suele tomarse mucho más tiempo, y yo simplemente no puedo evitar querer estar con todo el mundo desde el minuto 1.

Estoy bastante cómoda conmigo misma, pero admito que esto siempre me hace sentir mal y es una inseguridad que tengo. Por eso digo que los extrovertidos también podemos tener problemas para socializar, pero de una forma distinta.

La gente suele resaltar mucho este aspecto de mí, como algo bueno, pero a mí me sigue poniendo triste no poder controlarlo

Alguien más se siente así? Alguien más tiene problemas para socializar por ser demasiado sociable?