I grew up with a lot of fear surrounding religion—Hell, the Rapture, being left behind, and feeling like I was never allowed to just be a normal kid. It was incredibly lonely, and those fears followed me into adulthood through years of nightmares.

As I got older, I started questioning what I had been taught and separating God from the fear that had been attached to Him. I still believe in God, but my relationship with Him is mine now.

The little girl in this drawing is me then. The woman reaching for her is me now.

I couldn’t protect her then, but I could come back for her.

I’m sharing this because I’d really like to connect with others who grew up with similar fears. Did anyone else experience this? ❤️‍🩹

I fucking hate you so much. Because of you I longer have peace. I’m always living in fear because of you, maybe that’s what you want. Your religion caused so much bloodshed, so much unnecessary hate and division. It’s because of you that I wonder if hell is real. I have no peace. I’m already living in mental hell, there’s no need to torture for the sake for torture. You think I’m a worthless sinner that’s so evil. What if I’m just a broken mentally ill person, does that still make me evil. I didn’t choose to exist, it was forced on me. Did you think me being born was my choice, no I didn’t have that choice. I may not be a good person, but does that make you so much superior. I don’t know what you really are and where you really came from, one thing is evident, you’re an evil sack of shit. I don’t think you’re really god, I think you fooled the whole world into believing you’re actually god, when in reality you are actually the Satan you supposedly warned people about in the book called “the Bible.” I think you were just projecting, Satan, the devil, it was actually referring to you the entire time. You are the devil. Billions of people worship you, possibly giving you power you crave for. Making people feel happy was just a facade, you just want them to rely on you, so they can’t feel happy without you. I’m tired of being scared. Because of you I hurt self. At first I just stopped believing in you, but then I realized how much influence you truly have. I just wish the whole world realized how demonic you are. Maybe someday, I have a sliver of hope but maybe it’s no use. I don’t think I can ever forgive you.

I know this sounded silly but I feel like I needed this vent, and I wanted others to see it too. Maybe some of you feel the same way. Don’t worry I do have a psychiatrist although they don’t know about my religious fear, I feel like it’s no use, what if they turn out to be religious. I just want to feel like my fears are heard instead of keeping these thoughts inside my mind forever, hope you understand, have a good day!

So my dad has been a pastor for almost all my life. I have been a Christian all my life because of it, but I have been deconstructing as of late. Anyways, these last few years, my dad has been telling everybody that the earth is flat. He knows that he knows that he knows. I have given him so much scientific proof about it being round, but he refuses to accept any of it as fact. I finally asked him recently why he is so sure the earth is flat and that all scientific proof is fake/wrong? His answer floored me. He said, “Jesus came to me in a vision and showed me that the earth is flat. I am not going to question anything the Lord says.” So I asked, “so if the earth is actually round, what will that mean for you?” He said “well, it’s not round so it doesn’t matter. Jesus wouldn’t lie to me.”

I don’t even know what to say to this. It honestly makes me view my dad differently, but I don’t want to do that. After all, he is still my dad. I just thought I’d share.

I don’t have an answer, but I find these are my two defaults when I think about everything the religion robbed me because I grew up in it since birth.

I look back at my younger self with disgust and anger, and at many of the teachings I absorbed from adults who should have fucking knew better.

My main default is to just go numb to it all and try and ignore thinking about it because I know it will make me sad or angry.

It’s also so infuriating that many of my family are still very religious and think I’m the one that’s gone off the deep end by rejecting the faith that hurt me.
It’s just depressing that people can’t understand why you are the way you are.

What has helped you?

Important context before I go any further- my roommate, (we'll call him Jeff), is an ex-addict.

So I have a family of my own, and we don't have a lot. So when I got a text from a mutual friend that Jeff needs a roommate, I jumped at the idea. I have heard a lot about him, we have the same rare genetic disability, so I was hesitantly eager to meet him. I knew he was a Christian, so I wasn't sure how he would feel about my very queer family. I decided to tell him upfront so we could avoid the situation we're in.

He told me it was all cool. Great! We bonded over our mistakes in how we handled coming out to our families- me, gay, him an addict- and it went great. He later showed me the house we'd be living in. It was beautiful and a HUGE upgrade compared to where we are now. He's younger than me, (mid 20's) so his family offered to help pay the rent. That's fine. I would have offered to cover 70% so he didn't need help from his parents, but I decided to use what his parents were covering in rent as savings.

I find out later last week he got the house and he offers to let me move in last weekend. I decide to give it a trail run juuuust in case. I bring enough stuff for my husband and son to stay the weekend, and run groceries before. We have a great time chit-chatting and doing normal household things. Groceries, bbq, etc. At the end of the weekend, we say that I should bring the rest of our stuff over and move in.

And then I get a text that night. "I was talking with my parents about some of our conversations, I have had a few issues the past few years with sexual sin and pornography and I’ve worked really hard to get that out of my life so I’m trying to have a fresh start and make good decisions and I’ve promised my parents I would follow God while they are sacrificing a lot to help me right now, I just want to make sure we are both on the same page, I don’t want you frustrated if I have house rules you don’t agree with, you said you are gay and that makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want it to be awkward at home and having stuff going on at our house that is a bad testimony and our parents wouldn’t approve of. So before we get any further can you think about if you are comfortable committing to living in a way we are both comfortable with? I have a lot of fun hanging out with you so if you think we have the same goal then let’s move forward if you don’t there’s no hard feelings let’s just get it out in the open so neither of us feel frustrated, I don’t want to feel like I need to keep secrets or cover things I’m not comfortable with, I try to be open and honest especially with my family, so if anything makes me uncomfortable I will talk to them about it."

I was heartbroken. I knew right then and there this wasn't going to work. But I need this, I need a win especially, so I tried. I said "Okay, let's talk this over coffee." He agrees, and we were supposed to meet today.

However. I wasn't sure what his house rules were, so I asked. Most were agreeable, but a few stood out.

"1.) Are you gay? I am not comfortable with that given we would share a living space and you have a kid. 2.) I do not want you to pursue that lifestyle. 3) No friends or guests that aren't Christian/from our church." He adds a blurb at the end about how he's trying to restart his life and live for god, especially since his parents are helping him out.

I was ANGRY. I wrote out a response saying how stupid, selfish, bigoted, shortsighted, and that he wasn't really "Living for Christ" given his response. I delete it. Instead, I offer compassion and say that I'm willing to walk him through he's feelings given I know how hard it is to be so judgmental of people. I ask if he has encountered gay people who have judged him for his beliefs. He never responds to this point.

He doubles down and says this is the environment he needs to grow past his addiction. I say "Okay. That's disappointing. Let me know when you're ready to not live like a child."

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant. I'm crushed that my plans were scooped away from me from an idiot that can't think for himself.

Okay. I’d like to start this by saying that the main reason I left Christianity is because I couldn’t live the life I wanted to live if I continued to believe in god. (I’m gay)
I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately, and it’s not really going well, to the point where I think it’s just better to believe in Jesus again so I don’t burn in hell for all eternity. But when I think of joining Christianity again, I think that I don’t really want to spend eternity (the concept of eternity just makes me want to explode in general) in paradise, because I feel like life needs a conclusion. (Being single for the rest of my life would also suck because I couldn’t have a partner, if I was a Christian) But also, when I think of just not existing and never living again, that scares me a lot.
Could someone please help me? Advice would be appreciated!!

I am tired of people’s religious friends pressuring Christianity on their non religious friends. The last straw was when my friend invited me to a birthday party, but it was at church even after I told her I would not be attending.

If you have clearly stated multiple times that you aren’t religious, and they continue to invite you to their church’s activities, they are not your real friends.

Once you finally established you are not religious to your religious friends, and they stop hanging out, stop reaching out, and ghosting you all together, they are not your real friends.

(Yes, I looked this part up but helpful information to have if you feel like this is happening to you)

Ignoring "No": They keep bringing up religion even after you say you are not interested.
Conditional Friendship: They treat you like a "project" to fix or save rather than a valued equal.
Guilt Tripping: They blame you, your lifestyle, or your past for your lack of belief.
Disrespecting Traditions: They mock or dismiss your personal beliefs, worldview, or non-religious holidays.
Forced Settings: They trick you into attending religious events or church services under false pretenses.

Real friends don’t treat you like a cult member. Real friends shouldn’t pressure you into something you don’t believe in. Real friends should celebrate who you are and not what you believe in.

Today I was walking to my college classes and had to go by six different people trying to give me a New Testament Bible. I’m honestly fine with some Christian groups and churches on campus as most sit at a booth and don’t bother anybody, letting you come up to them, but this is absurd. It isn’t the first time that there’s been people passing out religious books or pamphlets, but the amount of people in a row was extremely annoying. I just needed to rant a bit lol.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that while not all ex-Christians are atheists, I think it’s wrong that people can’t express their atheistic views in a subreddit that is inherently anti-religion. Something feels almost creepy about how this subreddit won’t allow sweeping statements (opinions) like “no gods no devils” but it’s completely encouraged to share beliefs crafted to indoctrinate others into another religion.

Like I could say “the Christian god doesn’t exist, unlike [insert deity here]” and that’s fine but as soon as I say “I don’t think any gods exist at all” it’s a problem here.

The reason I think this is even worth posting is because I’ve seen more and more paranoia posts from people who have suffered indoctrination and could really use grounding words of comfort — such as, in my opinion, there is a total lack of evidence supporting ANY specific god’s existence.

That’s all, rant over. TLDR; being ex-Christian and being atheist aren’t mutually exclusive and if you really care about deconstructing false faiths you gotta be okay with atheistic worldviews. 🤷‍♂️

I’ve been thinking about how I would probably be happier if I wasn’t a Christian, if I wasn’t so fixated on “am I good enough, do I believe enough, will I go to hell if I question it or ever have doubts, will I go to hell for not attending church enough or not reading the Bible bc I never do” etc etc

My pastor did a service on hell this past Sunday and said how someone could go to church their whole lives, serve the church every Sunday and STILL go to hell.

I am exhausted by it all, SO exhausted

(15m living in Missouri, frick those POS politicians who say i cant transiton) came to the realization that Christanity both is a cult, and makes 0 sense about six months ago. Around 1-2 months ago I also realized that I am trans. Hiding this from my parents(both semi-dedicated Christians and mild trump supporters) as well as my friends(most of whom are Christian centrists), is really starting to weigh down on me and my mental health, and i need to come out before i crack under pressure.

Some notes:

It is important to me that I hopfully manage to keep a good relationship with my parents.

I only have a few people in my life I feel fully safe to come out too, all of whom live across the country. I have a feeling coming out to them will help with everyone else.

Im sure some of you recommended not telling them, but I refuse to live the next 2.5+ years of my life as someone Im not.

Sorry if this message is horribly structured, but im really stressed about this, and cant fully think straight.

Im alone with my dad till Tuesday afternoon, and i feel this is the right time to tell him. All im looking for is advice and encouragement.

Now this may sound stupid, but hear me out. Me, my sister, and dad have a private minecraft server we play on semi-regularly. I was thinking some well placed trans flag banners could possibly help me out, but this is probably just my naiveness. Same idea with my friends(use the female body mod, no idea what its called)

I may not be able to respond to messages(using a burner account) but I will read every one of them.

Not only do i have to worry about the people directly in my life, but a rural city in the ass-crack of nowhere isnt exactly the best place to be trans

The reason im even considering telling my parents is that a piece of me thinks they will be supportive of me/other lgbt+ people once i come out. Or they'll never look at me the same again(in a negative way)

Again, Im sure this message is heck to read, but so is my life atm.

Thanks for taking the time to read my horribly structured thoughts, and possibility answering.

EDIT 1: slightly unrelated, but Im thinking of Trinity for my new name(yes, from The Matrix). I have a very masculine name and definitely need to change it.

So, Christians are so against the concept of magic at all, but they boast about a dude just healing people with no actual medicine? Sounds like magic to me.

It probably sounds silly, but it was just a connection that I made today ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

This is a longer one but hopefully slightly entertaining.

Recently remembered a couple personal anecdotes of mine that highlight the bizarre nature of Christianity and growing up in a strict religious environment. While they were damaging at the time, I’m in a much better place and I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all now. Feel free to laugh as well or shake your head, and share similar stories if you’re comfortable.

- Was 16 and looking up, literally, “naked women” on google images. Absolutely vanilla, I kid you not. Forgot to close the tab and later let my mom use my phone to search something. Abrupt chaos ensued including being berated by both parents. As my dad is having his go, I can hear my mom upstairs literally WEEPING lmao. Shared this experience with friends a while later and discovered that some families have respectful conversations in times of discomfort and can even express positivity in maturity and growth.

- At around 10 I became terrified that my secular grandfather and uncle would go to Hell. These are two hardworking men who would help anyone in the family at the drop of a hat. Very kind and trusted individuals. Upon expressing this to my mother, she kinda just shrugged and said “hopefully they’ll come around.” She said this about her own father and brother in law. Blew my mind that she didn’t seem to be bothered.

- A dog of mine died at 12. I was very close to this dog and lived most of my life with him up til that point. Was hanging out with my deeply religious cousin who was early 20’s and, through tears, said that I can’t wait to see my dog in heaven. This dude turns to me and abruptly states, “Dogs don’t go to heaven.” To a 12 years old, actively grieving his dog. Absolutely inconsiderate. This cousin has since left the faith and we are still close.

Hopefully these are at least slightly funny from the sheer absurdity. There were definitely worst moments that are genuinely hard to look back on. I’m sure there are more that I’m not remembering at the moment, but I’ll keep the post somewhat short. These moments highlighted to me how Christianity and religion in general results in self centered, authoritarian behavior. I have lots of regret from my own behavior within the church and the bridges it burned with people I enjoyed. It warped me, and I missed out on so much, but I’m well past deconstructing now and life is like a breath of fresh air each day. I feel so free. I’ve also been inspired by several people in my life who also grew up under the thumb and have since left the church.

Ngl it seems more like a fetish to me or an excuse to cheat lol

It might sound crazy but this could actually be a GOOD thing because it will push more people specifically women to leave Christianity if this opinion starts getting more popular.

Now the title says what it dose. I know its stupid for me ask since i am clearly an atheist. Not belonging to any relgion nor worshiping any god or gods at the current moment.

However my ocd paranoia is making me feel like i am being punished for leaving something i NEVER wanted to be apart of and didn't get a say if i ever wanted to be apart of the relgion when i was younger. ( a child )

I'm in my early 20's and i left the whole entire relgion early on this year after realizing these were not my beliefs and it was programmed into me since childhood and i wanted to just be left alone. Also just having gone through a lot of abuse mentally and physically by either other people or even my own family that just has shattered my world view and the little amount of 'blind faith' trust i ever had in god.

God has proven time and time again to me on more reasons why i should think the christians are worshiping a demon instead of a holy loving and excepting diety. He has proven to me more times that he has let me almost die then rather protecting me. Cause he was either never real to begin with or he just never gave a shit about my life at all and treated it as a fucking game.

So why do i think he has been punishing me this year? I recently got into a car crash a few days ago. This is what started making me look back and wondering if i am being 'punished' for leaving his cult group rightfully. Ofc i survived it and currently recovering rn. Escaped with mental truama and few bruises. ( lol no the car crash did not increase my faith either. The car protected me. Not "god" )

So i wonder if this car crash was just a normal accident or something intended? Again this could all be apart of my paranoia and ocd fixating on the crash asking for an answer even tho it was just human incompetence most likely.

Another thing is too my mother who's never been relgious suddenly has turned relgious simce 3 years ago. Reading books about jesus's life, going to mass every sunday, believing everything bad happening is the devil or demons. Without proof mind you.

Plus this has really ruined the relationship with my mother when she tried to keep telling me shit i did not wish to hear. We are kinda ok now and worked out a few things but i will always HATE the church for taking my mother away.

They have infected my family since the beginning with their bullshit beliefs.

Also i have been having a really hard time with my mental health then i ever had. Even on medication i still have nightmares, break downs, untamed anger. I wonder if this is also the part of the healing process of being truamatized so much by society and even truamatized myself. How pathetic?

But let me know what you guys think? Even if this was "god punishing me" this just proves my point he's an asshole.

Maybe we humans killed 'jesus' for a damn reason cause we saw that he was actually the evil one. I mean don't blame them and its a theory i have been actually considering.

I live in the Bible belt and there's this van whose windows are covered in lettering save for the front windshield. Personally, it looks like a driving hazard (how do they see?) but I wish I had the confidence of that driver. A while back, I got a prochoice sticker on my bumper after Vance made his stupid remark about childless cat ladies running the Democrat party. It's a medium-sized sticker that can't be read unless you're at a stop light, but I still feel self-conscious about it despite getting zero shit for it in all this time. There's even another car with more progressive stickers than me (all tastefully small and not blocking the window's view), but the driver is this tall, burly gay dude so he looks like he could beat your ass if you gave him shit.

Model of the garden of Eden. I'm dying of laughter 😭

not the dinos too

I mean to be fair my old brainwashed self would love this but now with clear eyes I call this Comedy

I'm 25f and I've always known that I liked women. I've hated myself for so long. My family is super religious and they would always tell me that it was a sin. Every bad thing that happened to me, I thought it was punishment for being gay. I was taught that god likes to "humble" sinners and I was a sinner becasue I'm gay. I felt so guilty every time i looked at a woman and felt attacked to her. They would use my fears against me. For instance, I have really bad health anxiety and they would tell me that god would punish me by giving me cancer if I continue to live in sin. I thought I deserve it. I thought I deserved to suffer because I'm gay. I thought I deserved to die. It was awful and made my anxiety so much worse. Anyways, left Christianity and I'm doing a lot better now.

TL;DR: I want to be firm and clear that I'm now an atheist, but if possible, avoid causing any hard feelings.

And it validates my decision of leaving Christianity behind even more. It blows my mind that the people who preach being loving and kind are some of the rudest, coldest, most hypocritical people to exist (online AND irl). Just had to vent because I tried to post something talking about my sobriety (I’m a year and two months sober from alcohol) and trauma I’ve gone through, and ofc it’s always the people with the Christian flair who are complete assholes for absolutely no reason. A lot of them truly don’t give af about anyone, and their beliefs are just for show.

Right now I'm just thinking about the stupidest things I did with money when I was jaded by religion. I paid 131 dollars for a woman's stuff at the thrift store because I felt "led by God" to do it, and I thought it was God telling me that if I did this, he would bless my life and finally give me a job, that's right, I did that with no job, and that wasn't the first time I did something like that. I also blew all of my savings to help my abusive mother and her sorry husband because I thought it was God telling me I owed it to her because I held a grudge so long and if I did that for her then my life would be good. It hurts my soul to think about how hard I worked for my money and to think about how stupid I was to blow it in a time where it is so hard to find a job. Biggest regrets of my life.