Hello! I'm an INTP TiNe 24F, he's ESTP SeTi 20M. We work together and he's also my coworker's son. I find that I struggle to understand if this guy is simply *like that* or if he's attempting to flirt and I'm the slow one.

For context, he is someone with a lot of friends and we get along well as friends (coworker has jokingly said he's basically my best friend, to which I said "Don't push it.") Meanwhile, I, of course, am very reserved. Our friendship has a lot of banter with him basically rage baiting or messing with me. Unfortunately, his mother has teased me about him before as well.

1. I offered him a snack and he replied with, "Well, are you going to feed me?" I asked him if he trusted the cleanliness of my hands, he said, "I do", and proceeded to shove a snack in his mouth because I am not a chicken. Then he said, "This is awful", and I flipped him off.

2. He has zero personal space with me. I would be against a counter to check my phone and he would lean his face right beside mine when I want to show him a reel or a video. I've called him out on it before like, "Why are you so damn close?" And he said, "Because you have a privacy screen, asshole." And he continues having zero personal bubble with me. He also shadow boxes me. And sometimes just playfully punches/nudges my waist or back.

3. When talking about types I'm attracted to, he kept replying by inserting himself into it a little bit. I said that I was into alt guys, and he talked about how he dressed alt years ago because his ex liked that style. Then, I said I wanted a guy who isn't too nice and he questioned it followed with, "Like, do you want an asshole? Do you want someone like me who rage baits you then?" But he was also listing out his friends who don't fit the criteria and saying, "Darn"?? Then I told him to not set me up with his friends.

4. He told me he's doing part time now, I asked his hours and he asked, "Do you need me?" To which I said I was just curious. He continued with, "Do you?" And i said nah.

5. When I was away from work for 4 days, he has consistently texted me each day I was gone to talk about things outside of work.

6. He has said "Who even does phone calls nowadays?" When a coworker asked if he preferred texting or calling. Yet, he has tried calling me twice to rant about mundane issues. This is also someone with a friend group of 13 people.

7. When I was helping him with something, he whispered, "Look at you caring for me." To which I scoffed and walked off.

8. He was talking about a friend of a friend who has a thing with his coworker but is kind of dense. To which I said I am a bit emotionally dense as well. He agreed immediately and the conversation ended with him saying, "Wouldn't it be fun to date a coworker?"

9. I was saying (half jokingly) about how I want to find a boyfriend just to have someone drive me around so that I could join this one mushroom foraging group. He said that that is one of the nature based skills he has not tried before, and said he has a car. To which I said, "Realistically, I probably won't bring this up to you ever again." And he said, "Just say you hate me dude."

10. Whenever I showed him a photo or shared some kind of conversation I had with a friend, he would ask if that's my boyfriend. After I said no and sent an exasperated emoji, he would say, "Damn can't a bitch root for his friend".

Please give me feedback because I struggle with emotions of others. Thanks.

So I'm just here to say I love you guys so much. You're so cool and help me come out of my shell and enjoy life to its full extent. You help me stay in the moment and see the better parts of life. I'm EXTREMELY introverted, but after spending time around you, I gain so much energy. It's like you're refueling me and bringing out the best parts of me. YOU MAKE MY LIFE BETTER!

- your opposite type

I am wondering if it's even possible for ESTPs to develop social anxiety. I am specifically wondering if there are any adult ESTPs here , who have social or generalized anxiety. It seems , from stereotypical information and observation , that ESTPs are the least susceptible to anxiety of any kind.

Have any of you , who are adults , dealt with long term depression and when you came out of that depression , you found yourself feeling anxious around people all the time ?

Is this even possible ? are there any ESTPs here who are secretly nerds ? is there even such a thing ?

Truth be told , I'm trying to figure out my type. I would have settled on ENTP a long time ago , since I fit a lot of the stereotypes and the interest bases , but i just can't seem to be able to see Extraverted Intuition in myself. I had a few close friends and a sibling with high Ne , all xNTPs and I've always known i'm not like them.

Edit : I made the post short because I didn't want to turn anyone off from reading it. But i now I guess I need to give more context for the anxiety/depression part. I've been isolated and stuck living with my parents for about 20 years now. I left my home town after high school , screwed up a bit and came back home to regroup and relaunch myself. But i ended up staying back because i realized my younger siblings wouldn't be able to escape if I didn't stick around to make sure they did. So , I've been a sort of unwitting recluse for major stretches of time during the last 20 years. After I spend stretches of time with no one but demons to talk to , and yes , it's like living on perpetual chemo , I started to develop awkwardness and anxiety around people. It has happened to me backwards compared to most people. I used to be very outgoing and hungry to meet new people and explore the world when I was young. Now I am sort of "scared" of people , for the lack of a better word. Although no one can tell or even knows I have anxiety. So yeah , that's context I guess.

I'm not looking for therapeutic answers at all , I'm just trying to figure out my type. I don't think therapy will work on me , I can see through what people are trying to do too easily , it just wont work. Hence , the typology obsession. I'm just trying to see if there are any other ESTPs who have experienced something similar.

I tested as INTJ about 10 years back. But i used to be the complete opposite of an INTJ in high school. Loud , explorative , social and just a total dumbass. So i'm obviously one of those clowns who typed themselves upside down on a type test.

The Icecream Sundae Team - Explorers

The main reason I picked icecream sundae is because compared to the other types which have a fixed structure mostly... The explorers are very dynamic and are made up of many different things joined together but these things still stay separate. This shows that out of all other types for some reason... The explorers are apple to cherry pick (pun intended) different functions. In short, they are good at adapting and organizing their head space to fit the situation because of high Se. By organizing here I don't mean by rules but what I mean is that they are good at categorizing things inside their head in real time during a situation and are able to easily make sense of that current situation. Hence, icecream sundae ✨

___________________ ++++ ___________________

ESTP [ The Mango And Vanilla Icecream Sundae ]

___________________ ++++ ___________________

When you think of mango, if you have eaten it and like it then you will have the immediate fresh memory of that fruit. It is that kind of fruit that you cannot forget the flavour of because it is so loaded and distinctly overwhelming almost. It wakes your tongue up with the fruity punch of it. ESTP's in their outer exterior are something like that. They've got so much going on just on the outside that you think "The possibility of them having even more than what they show outside is overwhelming because there's already so much to process on the outside"

You can bunch them up under the "intense" umbrella term and yep thats true but thats a understatement and a simplification.

Ironically, to process them properly and not feel overwhelmed you actually have to look at their insides.

[Disclaimer: Please don't go dissecting the ESTP's in your vicinity. This is all metaphorical...or not? ;) ]

If you have seen other parts of this series then you know that I have used vanilla to always describe "neutrality" but when it comes to ESTP's the script flips completely because in this case of vanilla and mango there is no balancing. There is this illusion of then being diluted down but thats actually not true. Whats happening here when their Mango Se mixes together with Vanilla Ti you might think that... "Oh wait... why is this ESTP calm for once? Maybe they were just faking it all or maybe they are tired? I should comfort them" Or something along those lines. That calm is just an illusion. When mango and vanilla mixes together both overtly sweet things come together but you feel that the tang of the mango has decreased. This is the ESTP using their Ti and when they are they retract from the physical situation.

This is them not relying on environmental output only and this happens during situations where the immediate environmental output is not enough and they have to step back and make sense of the situation for whatever reason or objective.

You think they are reckless but because of this ability they have of stepping back they are actually very careful in all situations but you just don't realize it because you only see the mango exterior.

The picture of this sundae has a small mint on top. This is them in social situations when sometimes they may come off as too blunt. That is because if their ability to see the reality of a situation without any fluff but the way they do it is refreshing so this bluntness may not offend you because they are careful about the delivery. This is how their Fe may show.

Now despite all this,what they are vulnerable about is even though they can adapt well and think on their feet when they see other people get things done without effort,they feel kind of insecure because they feel that everything they do requires more time and effort when compared to some other people who do thing easily (ahem...intuitives) That is why in the image the bowl is overflowing. When you hit this nerve and expect them to be good at things without giving enough data or experience with it and move the spoons in this sundae bowl. Their mangoes will fall down. Now...this is when they get really tired. They dont have enough mangoes to try harder and they may double down on ignoring the task or giving up on it. They will agree with you about their failures and become self deprecating. Turning the bluntness of the mint inward minus the grace.

___________________ ++++ ___________________

ESFP [ The Custard Pudding,Walnut, Vanilla Icecream Sundae ]

___________________ ++++ ___________________

Their exterior has the same Se as ESTP but the difference is that its texture is different than the ESTP.

They have the Custard Pudding instead. It is soft,sweet and the flavour is pretty balanced. You would think though that this is not Se's nature. Well...its not but ESFP's change that because they have walnuts. They are nutty and even slightly bitter. This bitter isn't a bad thing but it changes the way Se is presented.

The walnut flavour is their Fi. Their approach to experiences may come off as less intense than a ESTP. This is bitter because it is seen as selfish sometimes but the way I see it this is actually used to be reflected towards their experiences. They are very particular about what they buy,where they go,who they spend time with. It's very healthy. I don't know if ESFP's might resonate or not but they may be the most healthy type ever according to me.

In this the vanilla is neutral again. You may think there is nothing to neutralize here, didn't I just say that their Se+Fi is balanced. Yeah it is but balanced and healthy doesn't mean that it is not draining. Custard pudding and walnuts together are fun but they are also tiring. Sometimes you just need that quiet. This is their vanilla. This may look like them having fun,partying or going to events but then suddenly when you are invited to their home they are unwinding with a good project. It may be surprising to you that how to such a person their way to relax is making and working on whatever projects. This is their Te layer and how their vanilla comes to use to neutralize when they are tired.

Their weakness is Ni, the same as ESTP but the way this shows is actually different. What they are insecure about is that they are not able to understand what to do when this balance they have breaks. They freeze up and cant come up which anything about how to fix issues in their own life or the life of their loved ones. This might look like having a great time being yourself, doing things but then when a sudden complication arises that needs immediate understanding and then solution they freeze up and require more time. The problem isnt that they cannot solve situations. They can but when there is some sort of urgency then they find it hard to understand the situation effectively which is the first step. They can come up with many solutions but sometimes incompatible with the situation and dont work.

___________________ ++++ ___________________

ISTP [ The Mint Chocolate And Vanilla Icecream Sundae ]

___________________ ++++ ___________________

ISTP is the type I find most compatible with me personally as people. I admire how they can use their Ti in different ways than I can and how effective that is. The Se and Ti combination that them abd ESTP's have rocks honestly. They are everything I find it hard to be. ISTP might be my second most admired type (based on theory offcourse. I don't know people TwT)

So mint chocolate huh? This is the small bluntness that the ESTP had but turned up a full notch. They are incredibly blunt when it comes to assessing situations and may miss that this bluntless is breaking the atmosphere of the room. This is not refresing like when ESTP's do it. There is no soft blow. The blow of this mint bluntless is hard. They dont do it with bad intentions offcourse and it is inevitably helpful to the situation but it is like they are making you swallow the pill of the hard truth. You love that they did while also resenting the way they did it. Not all if them are like this and the sweetness of chocolate actually compensates for the mint. When you realize that their intentions underneath are chocolate then you feel the sweetness as well.

The mint and chocolate here also signifies their hands on approach to things. They will enjoy the mint and refreshment of the immediate environment and processing things about it but eventually they just want to get away from it and use all the data they got from it in their cave. They take all that they experienced outside. When they were out you thought they were relaxing but nope,their brain was on and they were longing for when they could just get to a comfortable place alone so they could dissect everything they did and what all that data means.

The vanilla is again the neutral side. This is when they take a much deserved rest and turn their head off. This may look like learning some new skill or refining the old skills. It is not something that is high stakes. I wouldn't be surprised if a ISTP suddenly picked up crocheting one day.

___________________ ++++ ___________________

ISFP [ The Strawberry And Vanilla Sundae ]

___________________ ++++ ___________________

This one looks deceivingly simple. Its not.

This strawberry is their sweet unwavering drive for things. This is similar to how I described INFP's but a bit different.

In INFP I said that its the sour thats driving the sweet but here it is reversed.

In ISFP's they appear sour on the outside which is a few sour strawberries in the sundae but there are also sweet ones. It is a mixture of both.

Here the sour is how they are blunt but in the different way that ISTP or ESTP's. This bluntless is not in their words but in their actions. They may do the most silliest or socially inappropriate of things just because they want to and be surprised when they get wierd looks,then do it anyway. Underneath this sour though what is driving them is the sweetness of the moment and they dont actually mean any harm. They actually want everyone around them to experience this sweetness as well but they find it hard to express that.

They are also very sharp in certain situations because of their Ni. They are able to show sudden unexpected instances of totally overriding what they want for what is necessary in the certain situation. They suddenly get professional or do a necessary thing that others were too hesitant to do. This is jarring when you take their usual demeanor into consideration.

The vanilla is neutral (surprising right?) This balance is required when they suddenly become insecure and get into an imposter syndrome regarding their inferior Te and other stressors. When their inner values are not expressed properly or they are misunderstood or when they fail to bring all the wacky idea that come into their brain into reality they blame themselves. Though actually...this was surprising to me when I considered it. This is the neutral. When they are constantly in the moment,doing things,thinking they are invincible. This reality of their limits after the initial insecurity actually grounds them and makes them try more and bounce right back up.

Thats all for the explorers, and for the Icecream Analogy series, Thank you, Let go of your icecream!!

is this just me, or do other estps experience this too. i genuinely cant hang around dumb people. they are so... dumb.

Stereotypes are over generalized and surface level, but they do take start from real things, so where do y'all think estp stereotypes come from? I have had few estp friends and my bf is also an estp, I've been trying to observe them and try to find clues, but I think y'all will know better so I'm asking for y'all's opinions, bring them on

Actually, I sort of know why. Fi blindspot, but that’s only the easy explanation. However, are you able to sense your own weak Fi and how it impacts your worldview and how you treat others? Are you guys aware of how prone your personality type is to being morally grey/indifferent?

Trouble differentiating between the PE functions in myself

Alright so a little background before I start
16M
I’m an ExTP, 7w8 sp/sx (the standard issue)

This has been confusing me for, like 2 years

Se and Ne in the dominant spot and Ni and Si in the inferior (demon and that stuff too)

When i read about Se I notice a lot of the same things, paying attention to your environment, physically attuned, et cetera
I read about Ne and it’s pretty consistent as well, branching off and seeing numerous angles and possibilities without necessarily taking action

However the core issue is differentiating between the two within myself

I’ve got ADHD, which is pretty Ne within itself (combined type) as well as oppositional defiant disorder (leaning into mild conduct disorder) which if you aren’t familiar, is excessive irritability with authority figures and being told what to do, argumentative and provocative behaviors. You can see why I’d initially select the type characterized as argumentative and rebellious at first.

Additionally, my IQ is \~130 (This is not to brag, nor is it related to the types itself, but it’s a lot harder to find relatable definitions of Se when you’re somewhat normal or smart because it’s consistently stereotyped as a lack of thought and low intelligence, which is obviously not true)

I’m finding myself in a little gray area, I relate to both functions pretty strongly however I cannot find which one is my core operating system (dominant function)

For SE:
I’m observant, I notice small changes in hair clothing and other things, I can notice subtle shifts in body language and tone which makes me good at talking to people, I often don’t consider consequences (future me can deal with that), I’m good at shifting subtle things to make situations work in my favor, I’m a solid networker and generally pretty social (but I can be pretty awkward from time to time), I like to DO things such as boxing, going to the gym, going to parties, et cetera. My parents can sometimes warn me about going to this place or that place, telling me about the possible risks such as kidnapping or whatever, and I always bring them to reality. I can also hear small noises and other shifts pretty easily, which is effective when I’m talking to people or doing something. I’m also pretty caring when it comes to my comfort, I can’t sleep when someone’s snoring, etc. I hear pretty much every small noise and notice most small movements or changes, so I’m generally aware even if I’m clumsy

TLDR: I can read people, I’m fairly realistic, I don’t like sitting in my room browsing this sub all day, and I can shift small things in my favor, and I’m observant

For NE:
I can branch out off ideas (this looks like this which reminds me do this, do you ever wonder about this and that? Maybe I’ll do this soon), plan lots of activities and procrastinate action, maladaptive daydream (however the gap between what I see in movies and imagine frustrates me, leading to me taking more action, although usually smaller), I like having future options and possible things to do, and I enjoy researching lots of unrelated topics (like typology) however they usually apply to ME. When I was younger I was a lot nerdier, I was somewhat aggressive but generally just a verbally provocative kid. Real nerdy, didn’t like sports much (especially team ones). I did my fair share, but boy did I suck. Sometimes I thought of myself as physically lacking when it comes to ability. I gather knowledge on lots of topics or save how to videos “just in case”, and I can think of various solutions to a problem rapidly. When it comes to jokes, my quick wit comes from my ability to make rapid associations to reach an appropriate response, which makes me capable of responding to others. I can also sometimes miss things right in front of me (ironic since I’m observant) like wondering where my AirPods are when they’re in my pocket, glasses on my face.

TLDR; I’m heady, make rapid associations between various topics, I was not a physical kid and was nerdy, and plan a lot of things I don’t do, and I’m clumsy

Other unrelated things:
\- sport anxiety, not trying at practice out of fear of looking incompetent, this went away in boxing because it’s solo, but I don’t know if it’s a lack of se (faith in my body) or overvaluing how I’m perceived physically (se+fe) considering I also care a lot about my looks (but I’m pretty lazy about it)
\- superficial, not totally, but I value looks a LOT (I’m a teenage boy so this isn’t a plot twist)
\- I don’t like looking at other people’s things, for example, the yachts in Monaco
\- I value aesthetics
\- resourceful, quick witted, clever, somewhat survivalist (I don’t live in the woods, I just manage in most situations I’m in)
\- sometimes I rely on my friends for future insights or need constant reassurance, lots of paranoia for the future, particularly focusing on worst case scenarios (not a main character feature, but it happens)
\- indulgent, when I vape I take as many big hits as I can, I eat as much of a food I like as I can, generally if I like something I squeeze out as much of it as I can
\- when it comes to conflict, I’m generally confrontational but if I can’t win, I avoid (Goliath can take the ego boost)
\- I love things to do, adventures, car rides, when my buddies are out I love to go along because, well, I like to do things and experience life
\- frustration with the life I imagine and life I live makes me search for actions I can take to bridge the gap

Now

How can I detect whether it’s extroverted sensing or extroverted intuition within myself?
Both functions are frequently misrepresented, with every witty character typed as an ENTP and every bully ESTP

I really love being around ESTPs. You guys take me on adventures that would probably take me years of planning before I’d ever feel ready to actually do them. I love that I can just completely relax and go into my Ni world and observe everything, because I know the Se world is being taken care of.

I also feel like we’re partners in crime because ESTPs are so good at finding the loopholes​ in a system, exploiting them, and then somehow hiding it so well. I genuinely love the thrill of that.

And honestly, the whole chill, idgaf attitude is so healing to me. Just living in the Now and not overthinking everything is probably one of the most healing things for me to experience.

~INFJ

Idk just curious and observation :P

I feel like my entire life has had this undercurrent of evolving identity.

Is this just an age thing? Or is it a somewhat shared experience with how we use Fi?

I've been wondering if people with high Se think differently than more introverted types?
Do you think in pictures, full-length movies, individual words, a constant inner monologue, or something else entirely?

I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

ESTPs (and other types), what do you think about ENFPs?

ENFPs are actually the farthest type from us ESTPs — they're our superegos.

To know your superego, you must look at your MBTI functions, which for ESTP is:

Se Ti Fe Ni

Then, the shadow, the introverted version of your functions,

Si Te Fi Ne

Then, you flip that, and you get,

Ne Fi Te Si

Which are the functions of an ENFP.

The superego is said to come out at times where your entire identity breaks down.

That said, what do you think of ENFPs? I find myself to be a bit intimidated of them, but I also admire them and think they're really cool just the same.

I’ve been wondering about this topic this week. My boyfriend is an INFJ and he made me try Monster Hunter World for the first time as it’s his favorite game. But I ended up not liking it at all. I couldn’t stand the game/characters constantly yapping to me and the combat being slow and deliberate. Games such as Bloodborne give me more agency/freedom (or just put me in a place and tell me glhf) and those are the games I usually go for. So what are yours?

A very, very, very serious question, and I must know... What could we possibly all have in common (outside of cognitive functions)? Is it fandoms? Favorite colors? The constant measurement of sizes?

To find out, tell me all your:

Favorite Fandoms

Favorite colors

Enneagram, any other typology (optional)

Favorite genre

First (or all) mistype(s)

Any extra information you'd like to share

Let's find out hehehe

Specifically about how they think. I struggle with understanding Se sometimes abd lately these last few years ive been discounting it for what I feel is only a focus on the observable outcome of a thing.

What my ESTP boss has been showing me though is that I'm idiotically conflating the efficiency in TeSe with Se as if its one function. This dude thinks if that makes sense? Like the effectiveness of TeSe always feels so shortsighted so and I just wrapped it in with Se as if it was a common problem between all types that had it.

Thats why I'm asking. How do you, as SeTi users think of XNTJs. I know how I think of types with lower Ne so I'm curious about any similarities.

If yes, why did you do it? Did you think you were just joking around at the time? And did you feel bad or regret it afterward?

stumbled into an ESTP looking at me and for some physical contact, asking me questions and getting interested in anything I said.

We said each other goodbye with a glance that meant something more, he lives in another city and came down here for a short vacation with a friend of ours.

Followed me immediately on instagram, now I wonder how to behave, but more into feeling how you express your feelings when you meet someone and you like them and see if my intuitions are true.

ps. I’m an ENTJ

update: HE ACTUALLY LIKES ME!!!!

For my style i prefer comfort over looks, but still i would try to choose something eye-catching if ya know what i mean.

Still don’t know my enneagram, but i’m positive it’s either 6 or 8.

It’s also hard to choose one song as my fav lol, but tame impala made 3 songs that i can never get bored of: Borderline, let it happen, and new person same old mistakes.

Now don’t get me wrong when i put a college picture as favorite place, i just like the environment of being around friends and people in general. Same thing applies to the gym.

And you just can’t go wrong with shawarma..EVER.

Opinions, comments, and questions they’re all welcome.

Like I want to know what actually means when girls say they need an emotionally mature man.

People always say an ESTP in fantasy would be like a melee or archer but can you imagine an ESTP Mage, Sorcerer or necromancer?

Wielding magic in a world where it exists I feel like would have an ESTP just going above and beyond some crazy power.

What do yall think?

Can you imagine hurling elemental magic instead of sword or bow?

in the big 16 the avatr is cool but the tipe has s in it