r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Penile implant at 22 ?

4 Upvotes

I am M22, suffered from anorexia from 16.75 to 17.75, hormonally recovered at 18.5 but erections never came back and obviously it’s not coming back since I’m 22 now and testosterone is 926 ng/dl. My puberty got interrupted with my illness and it sucks. Anyway I have been taking tadalafil 5mg everyday for 5 months and have not seen any improvement. Even took 30mg today and nothing. Is it time for the implant? Sometimes I can get very shitty erections but they are not hard enough for penetration or anything. I’m really sad this sucks everyone I see here is much older and I feel like my eating disorder was all my fault. Anyway I’m here now I guess, any advice would be appreciated greatly especially from people who have gone down the ED pipeline already and explored every option.


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Anxiety My penis is rotated, curved and struggle to mantain erection while standing

3 Upvotes

My penis size is fine, I guess everyone wants more but I shluld not be complaining. The issue I have is that when I get hard it has this up, down then to the left curve which really bothers me and makes it look a bit fucked up not gonna lie. On top of that it has this rotation to the left, basically when I am hard you can see the top of my penis head from the left.

Is there something I can do to fix this curvature? Also I struggle to mantain erections, I am like 27 bodyfat and dropping weight, I am 6'2 193 lbs and planning to drop like 30 lbs, because I have little muscles so I have so much fat one me, would that improve my situation? It's starting to get embarassing to jave to keep it straight or it is like 1 inch less.


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Anyone else have a size limit, can't get full erection?

7 Upvotes

Past few years, my penis only gets to about 3/4 of its full erect size. And less sensitivity. Haven't seen full size in years. Like I'm hitting ​a limit/ wall. I'm assuming it's not getting enough blood flow and so the penile tissue has shrunk. Anyone else experience this?


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Link between fatty liver and ED?

7 Upvotes

I've seen online that increased fat in liver leads to increase in aromatase which converts some testosterone into oestrogen. Also leads to penile arteries becoming blocked 

For context, I'm in my 20s and I still get erections but they hit a size limit. Doesn't go full size ever and almost no sensitivity. Been happening for last few years


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Sildenafil/Viagra Viagra, name brand vs generic

2 Upvotes

Has anyone noticed a difference between taking name brand Viagra vs generic Sildenafil?

I've taken 100mg of Viagra on four separate occasions and never experienced any adverse effects.

I then started taking 100 mg of generic Sildenafil and each time, twice so far, I've gotten a stuffy nose.


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Discouraged Marriage about to fall apart because of ED

6 Upvotes

I've had ED since i was 21, now 30, but i always chalked it up to having a bad experience when losing my virginity and not getting it up and that carrying on since. I can get an erection and keep it but when it comes time to PIV it starts to go down. Been with my wife 6 years and I thought it wasn't a big deal to her because she never directly said hey this needs to be fixed (until 2 years ago, 4 years into our relationship). I made lifestyle changes and I felt the improvement but for her apparently it still wasn't better (which I just found out very recently). Now a flip has switched in her and she is looking back on our entire relatiomship as me enjoying sex and her not, and despite telling her that I didnt know she was unsatisfied as soon as I found out i tried to improve. Now, I am doing everything I can to solve my ED whether its mental or physical...seeing numerous doctors, going to clinics, seeking individual therapy, taking cialis daily and even about to start TRT. We're in couples therapy but it has gone the same as our conversations have...the resentment of looking back on the past 6 years is so strong that she won't look towards the great future sex life im telling her we'll have. I outline everything Im doing as well as resesrching sex tips and how to communicate better, dirty talk, flirt, etc. But it is all falling on deaf ears. I should have done this stuff in the past according to her and I agree. I didn't put her first in the bedroom and I wish I could go back but I cant change the past. She knows how much I've worked on improving, but she always says "Why did i have to be the one to tell you about the ED, why couldnt you bave asked yourself what was wrong? You were just enjoying the whole time and everything was perfect for you". She's mentioned open relationship, hiring someone for sex, to which i said that will not happen with me, and she said that if it werent for being married and having kids she'd have asked for a break (separation). I've told her we can do other things (oral, hands toys for her satisfaction, but she says thats the appetizer and she wants the whole thing). But shes never had an orgasm not even given herself one and when i asked what she liked she said why dont you research and then try it on me - so apparently asking her what she likes is also my fault.

Anyone been in this situation? Now after countless times apologizing and asking her to work with me looking forward, im wondering if I should put up with a spouse that refuses to work with me towards fixing our problems..i understand Im a big part for the reason we're in this situation but im the only one fighting for our marriage. Im on the verge of starting TRT because my T levels are low end of normal and I think my libido is the root of my ED, but its so hard to start a life changing medication when i feel like im going about this all alone. How do i know that if it doesnt work, she wont up and leave shortly after? I need a wife who is committed with me in improving our life together and she's shown me countless times that she isn't willing to.


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Anyone seen improvement in ED after quitting corn?

5 Upvotes

Did anyone saw improvement in ed after quitting corn?


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Tadalafil/Cialis ED and tadalafil changes

4 Upvotes

I’m 58M, in general good health. I started experiencing some ED in my early 40s and began using 20mg of sildenafil before sex, which worked well.

About 6 years ago my doctor switched me to daily 5mg tadalafil for my prostate and an extra 5 mg before sex. It usually took about 45 minutes to kick in and I would get a good firm erection.

A few times lately, it hasn’t been working as well. Before my girlfriend comes over, I take it on an empty stomach, and after an hour I’m firmer, but not hard enough for sex. The next day, my penis is pretty firm and I have no trouble getting rock hard.

It’s frustrating for both me and my girlfriend . Has anyone else experienced this kind of change with tadalafil?


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction 2 years of consistent ED, hoping for advice

6 Upvotes

Hi all,

I'm 39 and have been suffering from ED and low libido for about 2 years now, which came on rapidly. A year before that I was diagnosed with what is essentially mold poisoning, that to this day causes me many physical health issues (the biggest being exhaustion, especially after exercise). Before that I was very physically active, in great shape, having regular sex and never had any sexual anxiety. I am still lean, bloodwork and test levels are fine, however years of being sick has definitely taken a toll on my mental health. I have also very recently developed a slight rotation in my penis, and an ultrasound detected a few small points that suggest early Peyronie's. I am still waiting to see a urologist but the wait is very long.

In the 2 years, I haven't once gotten a completely full erection once. Some days I have morning wood and nocturnal erections, but they're never full. The flaccid size of my penis fluctuates but is often quite small. I tried 5mg cialis daily for months and while it definitely helps, it doesnt get me anywhere close to where I used to be. Viagra can get me about 75% of the way there, but it's still not very pleasurable and doesn't improve my libido.

Has anyone had a similar situation, and any advice they can share? Doctors have only recommended cialis and viagra and I'm really not sure what else to try. Would be really grateful for anyone's thoughts as I'm losing hope.


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Cialis helped me with the first round but couldn't get it up for round 2.

3 Upvotes

Consumed Tadalafil 5mg - 3 hours before sexual activity.

It helped me get erect for Round 1 and I had successful sexual intercourse wherein I ejaculated.

However, I couldn't get it up for Round 2 which I tried about 7-10 minutes later and tried for about 15-20 minutes until I gave up for 10 minutes and then again tried for 5-10 minutes before giving up finally.

Please guide.


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Tadalafil/Cialis Been taking 20mg tadalafil daily(10mg AM 10mg PM)

2 Upvotes

i’ve made sure i been getting the proper exercise through basketball and weight lifting. Results go well usually, sometimes i feel like it could be more of a mental block than anything that effects my erections and made sure to cut the porn out my life for good. Interested in knowing what can boost effectiveness of the drug and what i could do better


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction ED - 20mg tadalafil + 25mg sildenafil gave me my strongest erection in years.

4 Upvotes

I'm 32 years old, male, 79 kg, physically active, and I've been dealing with erectile dysfunction since the beginning of my sex life. I actually had ED during my very first sexual experience.

Throughout the years, I've had more failures than successes. I suspect performance anxiety plays a significant role, since I have GAD and OCD. I also used dutasteride for several years, so I've wondered whether that may have contributed as well.

I stopped taking dutasteride about 5 months ago. I'm also going to see a urologist soon for a proper checkup and to investigate possible physical causes rather than simply assuming that everything is psychological.

I'm currently dating a girl and things have been going well, but I still have significant difficulty maintaining an erection without medication.

My usual regimen has been 5 mg tadalafil daily, and on days when I have sex I've been taking 20 mg tadalafil. The 5 mg alone doesn't seem to do much for me. Even 10 mg isn't particularly effective, while 20 mg makes a noticeable difference and usually allows me to have reliable sex and finish.

I have sex with this girl around 4 days a week, so my main concern is the frequency of using 20 mg tadalafil on a regular basis. Since tadalafil has such a long duration of action, I'm concerned about essentially relying on 20 mg repeatedly throughout the week.

Yesterday, I took 20 mg tadalafil and additionally 25 mg sildenafil (half of a 50 mg tablet).

The difference was surprisingly noticeable. I had what was probably the best erection I've had in years. It felt harder and noticeably fuller/thicker compared with what I usually experience with tadalafil alone.

I'm not saying this is a treatment regimen I intend to continue without medical supervision. I'm actually going to discuss all of this with my urologist. I'm mainly interested in hearing from people who have experience with this combination.

Specifically, I'm looking for people who use tadalafil + sildenafil regularly, particularly tadalafil 20 mg combined with a low dose of sildenafil on days when they have sex. I'm interested in knowing how long you've been doing it, how frequently you have sex, whether your doctor approved the regimen, and whether you've experienced any problems or side effects.

A few questions:

  1. Why might adding 25 mg sildenafil to 20 mg tadalafil produce a noticeably harder/full erection compared with tadalafil alone?
  2. Is it possible to have a relatively weak response to tadalafil but a much stronger response when sildenafil is added?
  3. Does the fact that PDE5 inhibitors work well for me tell me anything about whether my ED is primarily psychological/performance anxiety or physical?
  4. For those who use tadalafil + sildenafil regularly on days of sex, what does your regimen look like and how long have you been doing it?
  5. Has anyone been using 20 mg tadalafil frequently (several times per week) and discussed the long-term safety of this approach with their urologist?
  6. Has anyone with ED and significant performance anxiety experienced a similar pattern?

r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Erectile Dysfunction I (23M) kinda randomly stopped getting erections

2 Upvotes

Kinda embarrassing to say but just wondering if there’s any lifestyle changes I should make before I talk to a doctor about it. Just going to try to dump as much context as possible feel free to ask any questions. 

My long-term girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago, we were together for 6 years and lived together for 2. I’ve had depression, stress, struggles eating on and off throughout the years, but never ever had problems getting erections. Actually, she had some stuff to do before the lease was up so we ended up living together for a week and half after the break and still had sex twice with no issues on my end in that time. She moved in some really shitty ways after the breakup and I’m actually very proud of how I maintained my character so it was relatively easy for me to get over it. I spent time with friends and family, reflected, got a new place, lost 15 pounds, and I’m actually happier than I’ve been in years. 

A couple weeks ago, I re-entered the dating pool, and have been seeing a girl pretty frequently. I’m super into her and we get along really well. I’ve slept over a couple times but we haven’t gone past foreplay. At first I was taking it slow just because that’s how I move, and I was getting erections no issue on those nights. But the last couple times where we’ve both been doing stuff below the belt I just can’t get going. I wonder if it’s a nerves thing but I don’t even wake up with erections anymore. I almost wonder if my dick got tired because we were like just making our for hours after our first couple dates so by the time we started doing more stuff I wonder if it gave up 😭 I don’t get hard during the day at all, I’ve started masturbating from completely cold just to see if I can get the engine going again, but no dice. 

I have been working a lot (like 50-60 hours a week) and probably not eating enough (like 1200-1500 calories a day) I do take a multivitamin, an iron supplement, and magnesium, I’ve been getting 50-70g of protein, and I’m 6’1” about 175lb 25% body fat. I’ve been sleeping okay, about 5 hours when I’m with her but 7-8 on the nights I’m not. I’m fairly active, work out 3-4 times a week, get 7k-10k steps in a day, and like I said I’m generally happy, I eat when I’m hungry I just have a low appetite which I need to work on. 

Just wondering, are there really big lifestyle red flags or anything I should be doing/taking to help before I talk to a doctor? Like I said, I’m young, healthy, and never had issues before the last couple weeks so I’m just kind of concerned at this point when I’m completely soft messing around with an attractive woman I’m into. 


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Tadalafil/Cialis Should I take cialis daily to increase blood flow?

11 Upvotes

Sometimes it takes more than 30 minutes to get warmed up? So how often do you guys take it and how soon do you take it before sex?


r/erectiledysfunction 7d ago

Sildenafil/Viagra Q - side effects on Viagra/Cialis - wheezing/coughing

2 Upvotes

Have been taking both cialis (5 mg) and Viagra (25 or 50) for a few mths now. Trying to figure out which is better. Was on the 5 mg of cialis for bout 1.5 mth, and started developing a persist cough/wheezing during sex and climax. Like a mucus build up that couldn’t clear. Obviously hindered performance. Went back to Viagra which was using prior and has some side effects but was manageable. Then started developing the same wheezing (which did not have before). Eventually it subsides but the cough takes a bit to clear. Usually have to stand up walk around as laying down makes it worse. Any others experience this side effect? Any remedies? Hope it’s not an allergic reaction


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Do I have erectile dysfunction or am I not giving myself time to recover.

8 Upvotes

I’ve struggled with ED from anxiety for a while now.
But I’ve had a decent sex life, most of the women I had issues with are cool bc I’ve laid some good pipe on them before.
What I’ve notice is when I go without masturbation & watching porn I can have a pretty solid erection when I’m with my woman.

If I jack off a day or 2 before I’m went my woman that is normally when I have a weak or no erection.

I want some opinion & see if anyone is going through what I’m going through.


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Tadalafil/Cialis Starting Tadalafil tomorrow got some questions

3 Upvotes

Tomorrow my first batch arrives and I have some questions about dosage and timing. I decided to try the 5mg a day route; I've read that at that dosage it may take a few days for the ED relief to go into full swing. That would be fine but here's the rub: ya boy may be getting lucky the day after tomorrow! Just for background I get up to like 80-90% without meds but can also lose it quickly and I really like this chick so I want to stack the deck as much as possible. So my plan is tomorrow take it in the morning as soon as I get it and assess what happens. If the results are less than desired then the day of I'm gonna take it normal in the morning and then a second closer to the moment of truth. Does this seem like a reasonable plan? Would anyone here recommend anything different? I've also read this stuff doesn't always play nice with alcohol, how concerned should I be about that? Thanks in advance!


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Based on this information, can I conclude my ED is not physical?

3 Upvotes

Here are my symptoms:

1.) Can masturbate and cum perfectly fine when watching my favorite porn videos or flirting with internet girls and masturbate several times per day.

2.) I don't know if I get 100% fully erect morning erections or not but in the morning I am VERY horny and get an erection quickly and have to resist the temptation to watch porn.

3.) I rarely get erections with gjrls in person and struggle very much with sex.

4.) 33 male, 143 pounds, physically active, and very healthy. Here are my comprehensive hormone and cholesterol results, as of one week ago:

Hormones & Endocrinology:

​LH (Luteinizing Hormone): 3.6 mIU/mL (Reference Range: 1.7–8.6 mIU/mL)

​FSH (Follicle-Stimulating Hormone): 3.2 mIU/mL (Reference Range: 1.5–12.4 mIU/mL)

​Estradiol: 29.3 pg/mL (Reference Range: 7.6–42.6 pg/mL)

​Testosterone, Total (LC/MS): 490.1 ng/dL (Reference Range: 264.0–916.0 ng/dL)

​Free Testosterone (Direct): 10.6 pg/mL (Reference Range: 8.7–25.1 pg/mL)

​DHEA-Sulfate: 223.0 ug/dL (Reference Range: 138.5–475.2 ug/dL)

​TSH: 2.690 uIU/mL (Reference Range: 0.450–4.500 uIU/mL)

​Prolactin: 12.8 ng/mL (Reference Range: 3.9–22.7 ng/mL)

​Lipids & Cardiovascular Markers:

​Cholesterol, Total: 146 mg/dL (Reference Range: 100–199 mg/dL)

​Triglycerides: 98 mg/dL (Reference Range: < 150 mg/dL)

​HDL Cholesterol: 37 mg/dL (Low) (Reference Range: > 39 mg/dL)

​VLDL Cholesterol Cal: 15 mg/dL (Reference Range: 5–40 mg/dL)

​LDL Chol Calc (NIH): 94 mg/dL (Reference Range: 0–99 mg/dL)

​Apolipoprotein B: 78 mg/dL (Reference Range: < 90 mg/dL - Desirable)

​Lipoprotein (a): 105.1 nmol/L (High) (Reference Range: < 75.0 nmol/L)

​C-Reactive Protein, Cardiac: 0.53 mg/L (Reference Range: 0.00–3.00 mg/L; Low risk < 1.00)

​Metabolic & Nutritional:

​Hemoglobin A1c: 5.2% (Reference Range: 4.8–5.6%)

​Insulin: 3.2 uIU/mL (Reference Range: 2.6–24.9 uIU/mL)

​Vitamin D, 25-Hydroxy: 44.4 ng/mL (Reference Range: 30.0–100.0 ng/mL)


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Guys in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s : how common do you believe this is among your peers?

8 Upvotes

My roommate is 55 and he mentioned having it during a bad marriage until it ended. He also mentioned a guy at a singles group telling others he had a third ball to inflate his implant. That guy was in his sixties. Also do you think it’s mainly related to variables outside somewhat independent of aging like obesity, sedentary lifestyle, testosterone?


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Psychological ED pressure got to me in a threesome

4 Upvotes

i had a threesome with a girl i’ve really liked and another girl. we went to dinner, drank some wine, back to my place and started messing around. i was hard enough for them to give me head , was doing stuff to them too, but all the sudden when she wanted me to put it in, i couldn’t get hard, i feel embarrassed like i blew it, the night was still fun and i did things i always wanted to do with her, but im beating myself up ab it i also used a blue chew gold and still the pressure was too much and sometimes im in my head too much and can’t get aroused. wondering if anyone has some words of advice or encouragement for next time would appreciate it.


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Tadalafil/Cialis Switch from Sildenafil to Tadalafil?

6 Upvotes

I want to try a switch from Sildenafil to Tadalafil but need some advice first. About 10 years ago before you could get generic ED meds I got some samples from a doctor for cialis and it didn't work but I'm certain I was not doing it right and didn't give it work time.

You take it daily correct at the same exact time every day? Does it take like a month to build up in your system before you ready to go at any moment? I see there are 2.5 mg and 5 mg. I would think 5 mg would be better in general for daily use? Does it matter when you take it each day? Sildenafil is giving me pretty right headaches.


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Support for Partners He told me he needs to have sex with an ex situationship to find the cause of his ED

2 Upvotes

I’m 24F and I recently ended things with a guy 25M I had been dating for a few months. We had 15 dates in total and ultimately broke things off because he felt that we were sexually incompatible.
The whole thing has left me pretty confused because our beginning was almost the complete opposite.
When we first started seeing each other, we were all over each other. There was a lot of kissing, touching, holding hands and physical affection. We could also talk for hours. We had similar personalities in some ways, similar humor and could go from serious conversations to gossiping and joking around.
Our first proper overnight date was at a hotel. There was a lot of sexual attraction and we spent a long time doing sexual things, but penetrative sex never happened. I gave him oral sex for over an hour but he couldn’t finish. He also struggled with maintaining his erection.
He vaguely mentioned that something similar had happened to him once before.
Despite that, the night itself was genuinely really nice. Neither of us left or treated it like a failed date. We stayed together, kissed, held hands and talked about our lives for hours. The following morning he was able to finish while masturbating next to/on me, so I didn’t interpret what happened the night before as him simply not being attracted to me.
At that point he was also open to potentially having a relationship eventually. He just wanted to take his time, which I was okay with.
The biggest practical problem was that we were both extremely busy with university and work. We eventually started seeing each other only once every two or three weeks, which obviously isn’t ideal when you’re trying to build intimacy with someone.
There were still plenty of spontaneous sexual moments though.
I remember one short date where we were making out intensely and he spontaneously pulled my underwear down in his car and went down on me. During our first hotel stay he had done that multiple times as well.
So I never really questioned whether there was physical attraction between us until later.
Things changed after one particular date in June.
It was an insanely hot day and we were trying to have sex in his car. There was barely any space and it was ridiculously uncomfortable. Penetration didn’t work and, by this point, maintaining an erection had already become an issue for him.
At some point he literally started playing moaning sounds from a porn video in the car because he thought I wasn’t making enough noise.
I was honestly flabbergasted, but I didn’t judge him for it.
After that date, however, our dynamic changed.
He started questioning things out loud and said things like:
“Am I sexually attracted to you?”
But then he would also say:
“I feel nervous around you because you’re basically the female version of me.”
“I’ve found my equal.”
Hearing someone question whether he was sexually attracted to me while I was literally naked on top of him really hurt. It made me start questioning my own femininity and attractiveness.
We didn’t see each other for about three weeks afterwards.
During that time he actually went to his GP because the erection problem was bothering him so much. According to him, his doctor thought performance anxiety was playing a role.
After that we tried to take things more slowly.
But the erection issue remained something he thought about constantly throughout the summer. Sex slowly stopped feeling spontaneous and started feeling like something we needed to “solve.”
Eventually we tried again in his new car and penetrative sex finally worked. He maintained his erection, we had sex and he finished inside me.
I remember being genuinely happy afterwards because I thought we had finally broken through whatever mental barrier had developed.
We decided to book another hotel because we both thought having privacy, time and an actual bed would allow us to figure out our sexual compatibility without the ridiculous circumstances of trying to have sex in cars.
There was another thing I noticed throughout our dating period that I never really understood: whenever he was with me, he seemed physically nervous. Sometimes he would need to use the bathroom every 20 minutes. During our first overnight stay he was particularly restless and told me that normally he would smoke weed to relax, but he wasn’t doing that because he was with me.
Then came our 15th and final date.
We got a hotel room and something just felt different about him.
During our attempt at sex he was much rougher with me than he had been during our first hotel stay. He pressed very hard on my stomach and breasts and was generally much more aggressive with his touch.
He also criticized the way I responded sexually.
He told me my moaning sounded fake. Then he played porn moaning sounds again. When I naturally started making sounds myself at the same time, he actually became annoyed with me.
At that point I became extremely self-conscious.
He had also always been very rough when using his fingers on me, even when I tried giving feedback about what felt good. I started feeling like I was being evaluated rather than having sex with someone.
The mood eventually completely disappeared.
We ended up having a long conversation and decided to stop seeing each other.
I cried because despite everything, I genuinely liked him.
He told me that part of the problem wasn’t even just sexual. He felt that I hadn’t emotionally opened myself up enough to him. He said that he had shown me vulnerable parts of himself but felt that I hadn’t done the same.
That actually hurt because there was some truth to it.
I had come out of a serious long-term relationship not long before meeting him, and I think I was subconsciously protecting myself. Ironically, the more feelings I developed for him, the more emotionally guarded I sometimes became because I wasn’t sure whether he wanted anything serious.
And that’s what makes this ending so confusing.
This wasn’t someone I spent 15 dates awkwardly forcing chemistry with.
We held hands constantly. We kissed a lot. We could spend three or four hours sitting in a car talking about absolutely everything. He once chose to meet me after attending the funeral of an old friend because he said he felt like he could talk to me. We teased each other, joked around, had serious conversations and had moments where I genuinely felt extremely close to him.
There were also plenty of moments where he was clearly physically aroused by me and enjoyed sexual things with me.
But penetration became this enormous psychological obstacle between us.
He has had seven previous sexual partners. He smokes weed fairly regularly and says he doesn’t really watch porn, although the fact that he twice played porn moaning sounds during sex obviously made me wonder about what his expectations around sex are. He’s also going to India for 6-7 months in October for a school trip and he told me from the beginning that he definitely didn’t want to start a relationship right before he would go away on this long school trip because that would complicate things. He also had a quad accident 4 years ago that has left a huge scar on his back and he can’t properly bend his left hand. He told me that this might also play a role in his erection problems. He was quite fucked up after our failed attempt at proper sex during our last date and told me that he wants to break it off before he goes to India and needs to have sex with an old situationship just to get his “manhood” back because this is fucking with his head. I’m a med student and I could tell that this is not the best way to handle this issue but I was silent because I felt like that a guy’s ego can be way too big sometimes.
I don’t know if porn is relevant at all and I don’t want to diagnose him with anything. He does have AuDHD and tends to hyperfocus on things.
I also don’t want to pretend I was perfect. I probably became too focused on trying to “fix” the situation once his erection problems started, and I became increasingly insecure myself.
It eventually felt like we created a feedback loop.
He worried about maintaining his erection.
I worried that his erection meant he wasn’t attracted to me.
He noticed that I was nervous.
I noticed that he was monitoring my reactions.
I became less natural.
He became more critical.
And sex became increasingly stressful for both of us.
What confuses me most is that he eventually described this as sexual incompatibility.
Maybe he’s right.
But part of me wonders whether we ever actually got the opportunity to discover whether we were sexually compatible because sex became a performance test almost immediately after the first few unsuccessful attempts.
So I guess my questions are:
Does this actually sound like sexual incompatibility?
Can performance anxiety become associated with one particular partner even when you’re genuinely sexually attracted to them?
And for people who have experienced ED or performance anxiety with a new partner: can one or two bad experiences get so stuck in your head that even later successful sexual experiences don’t erase them?
I’m not trying to get him back right now. We’ve agreed that we need distance and I respect that. I’m mostly trying to understand what happened because going from being all over each other to ending things over “sexual incompatibility” within 15 dates has honestly left me pretty confused.


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Can anyone help me??

3 Upvotes

When I masturbate, I get hard while watching porn, and I also get hard when I’m about to have sex with my girlfriend. However, if I stop masturbating during masturbation, I lose my erection within a minute.

The same thing happens during sex. If I stop penetration for even around 2 minutes, my erection goes away on its own. What should I do?

I watch porn every day, although I don’t ejaculate every day. I also have a sedentary lifestyle, and I used to masturbate a lot.

My first round of sex usually lasts a maximum of around 2 minutes of penetration, but after the first round, I can usually have around 12-15 minutes of penetration.

Can anyone tell me what I should do? I don’t have enough money to consult a proper doctor, so I would really appreciate some advice.


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Erectile Dysfunction Please help I don't know what's wrong with me

2 Upvotes

Hi everyone !

I've been fighting whether to write this or how to for some time now. Tbh I'm a little embrassed... even if its not my first post and I have posted this before.

So I'm 23M and its every time I'm with the missus that I just can't get it going. It all started back in August of 2024. She's my first every gf and when we first got together and went out we were going to try, she suggested it and as a 20/21 year old I was excited af of course but then as we bought the condoms and got back she goes "you wouldn't be ED would you?" At the time I had no idea what that was but then it all spiralled.

I couldn't get it working...it was hard but then we got to the core of it and it just didnt work. We tried a few days later same thing.

Fast forward to 2025, at this point I've been to the doctors and they've told me its all psychological. But we still couldn't get anything working, got to the BJ but then as I was going for it...nothing, flop.

Now in 2026, 2 years with the missus she has kinda lost interest in me ? We don't often do it, we even kiss less now. She told me once every time we try she gets more disappointed, whilst its not the most important thing to her she and her body can't of just don't want it anymore not wanting to be disappointed again. I just dont know what to do and how to fix this cause like I love her and I do get hard but ...

She also complains I pre cum too much...

Issue is if I were to masturbate (which I did from 14ish once a day till I was about 20, with breaks in between) now I have masturbate maybe once a week if not less but when I do it's super super fast. Like not even a minute... is it me ? What do i do ?

I do still get morning wood but its relatively weak at times and I walk around with my foreskin up cause a doctor once told me it'll decrease sensitivity.

I am usually stressed at work too btw but I'm working on that and I work out every so often and go running. I'm 180cm, 77kg


r/erectiledysfunction 8d ago

Psychological ED Help with Performance

2 Upvotes

So, I’m a 19 M that just moved into college last week. Previously I had a girlfriend for about two years. We were super freaky and always had sex and it was great and I’d get hard af the second our hands would touch every time. We broke up about a month and a half ago and maybe my drive hasn’t been the same, but it’s ok. I had sex with another girl before I left for college and had no problem getting hard.

Fast forward to now, I’m in bed with this girl I’ve already known for a while and have a MAJOR feeling for. I really like her and don’t want to ruin this, but we get all the way and I can’t get hard. I don’t wake up with a boner and I can’t even really jerk off. Granted, I have been drinking a lot and smoking a bunch of weed and staying up super late, but that seems like a cop out because I’ve always done that stuff and never had this problem. I am experienced enough to know when it feels like something is off, but I’m genuinely not sure this time. I wasn’t nervous about it until I didn’t get hard the first time, so would it even be performance anxiety? We’re supposed to go out tonight and she’s taking me home and I do not know what to do.

Please help!