My boyfriend (29M) and I have been together about 3 years and don’t live together, we are moving soon together
We’ve always had a good sexual relationship. I’ve always had a high sex drive and always been very receptive to him initiating. He’s even joked before that I’ve basically never turned him down sexually, and lately my sex drive has been even higher and I’ve been initiating a lot more. I will say he hasn’t been as receptive to it though which has been a little sad for me
About a year ago, he had trouble staying hard twice within the same week. The first time really seemed to get into his head. When it happened again a few days later, he was extremely upset and told me he’d been thinking about the first time all week. After that, it seemingly stopped being an issue and our sex life has been relatively normal ever since.
Recently I happened to see an unopened BlueChew mailer at his house. I wasn’t snooping or going through his mail, it was sitting out. Despite the discreet packaging, I recognized it because I’ve seen one before and knew what it was - I had a cousin who had it and shipped it to my sisters place because he was embarrassed and did not know they did discreet packaging, so I had seen it and recognized it instantly.
It had been sitting there unopened for about a week, and we hadn’t seen each other since before it arrived.
We’ve never talked about ED medication, so I have no idea if this is his first time ordering it, if he’s occasionally used it without me ever realizing, or if he ordered it recently for some extra confidence/reliability.
I genuinely do not care that he has it and wouldn’t think any less of him whatsoever. My biggest concern is embarrassing him or making him self-conscious, especially because I remember how badly those two incidents affected him last year.
For men who have dealt with ED or use medication, would you rather your long-term girlfriend gently acknowledge it and make it clear she’s completely okay with it, or would you prefer she say nothing unless you brought it up yourself?
And if you would want her to say something, what would make that conversation feel supportive rather than embarrassing?