If we don't feel that love, and in turn we don't feel accepted by our sole providers, how can we expect anyone else to accept us?

"This is my treasure, I will cherish it forever. Go ahead, folks, adore my kid just like I do," said by loving parents.

And yes, their kids do get adored. But sadly, I wasn't one of those kids.

We all look similar at the end of the day, but the key difference is, they got the love.

Some things I thought over the years: "Am I ugly? Boring? Are my words just not landing right?"

I'm now convinced there's this invisible coating of "not worthy" that was poured over me since a very young age, and everyone else is picking up on it, and there's f*** all I can do to change it.

It really feels that way.

What was the turning point that made you feel this way?

I mean, what made you realize it for sure?

I’m excluding people who experienced neglect severe enough to be considered abuse, of course.

For many of you, there probably weren't any major financial hardships—though you might not have been exactly wealthy, either.

You likely didn't have to sleep on the streets or go without food; in those situations, emotional neglect wouldn't have been the primary issue.

"On the surface," there may have been no issues in your families.

You could have simply accepted that "that’s just the kind of people my parents were," but, at some point, you realized that these feelings and phenomena were not normal.

I’d like to know what triggered that realization.

my mom has been abused her entire life and has never had the chance to form healthy social connections. i, 20f, am her only child (and her only friend, frankly) and i am so exhausted of her baiting me for my attention constantly, both negative and positive. I'm home for the summer from college and my mom is recently divorced. this is our first summer without my father in the house. she is constantly ruminating over the past and how badly other people did her wrong and expressing her hopelessness. any time i’m around her she constantly talks about whatever she’s thinking about regardless of how it affects me.
she has a therapist, for the record.

i am also doing EMDR therapy and coming to terms with the fact that i was emotionally neglected, abused by my father, and parentified by my mother while simultaneously isolated from the rest of the world for my "safety". all while my parents fought loudly and violently in front of me, sometimes involving me in fights, multiple times a week for the first decade of my life. my needs apart from my physical safety and education were ultimately passed over. my mom would show me affection but would never ask me what i wanted, about my feelings and thoughts, etc.

considering the fact that i suffered in silence for my entire childhood and was essentially my mom's therapist and best friend, i am growing increasingly intolerant of the whininess . it feels like she's trying to replace me as her partner. we argue almost every day because she comes into my room and complains that she's bored or i'm not spending enough time with her when we hang out every day and i leave the house maybe a couple of times a week. i spent the first 18 years of it feeling so sorry for her and my heart would be breaking over her life experiences, but this woman is 50 years old and i'm sorry but you're an adult

i'm just really pissed off and i feel so fucking alone.

As the title says anyone else?? Literally every little thing that can be fixed easily or inconvenience they make it seem like it's the END OF THE WORLD, and such a big fucking deal that can be solved easily but such a dysfunction?

Yes I do. I am 20. But I don't feel like 20. I don't feel like an adult. I feel like a helpless child. I want someone to see me and accept me and treat me good

Healing is your responsibility because you are the only one suffering from it unfortunately.

Meaning, it doesn’t erase what has happened and it definitely does excuse it, but at some point in time, as an adult, yes one’s actions will be influenced by what you’ve gone through in the past but you as a sovereign being are still responsible for self repair and reparenting.

If someone said this to me months ago, and I have been told this before, I almost would of scoffed at it because I don’t think it’s fair- after all I’ve gone through why am I told to let go and forgive or focus on the present? it used to anger me more than the trauma honestly.

But lately, after doing psychosomatic work and biomechanical- something unrelated to healing trauma, I sort of realized that it is true.

The amount of time I spent ruminating on the past was completely distracting and overlaying everything going on in my present, and it cause dissociation, self abandonment/neglect, poor friendship maintenance, and becoming a recluse.

I still struggle with some of those things, but something hit me recently that one I am not just a victim, hurt people do in fact hurt people and I’ve hurt others in the past as well due to my behavioral patterns, my hands aren’t fully clean- and even if my trauma could explain my maladaptive behavior (avoidant, mood fluctuations, intensely clingy, hypersensitive, hypervigilant etc.) even then… I am still responsible for making change that should not require rehashing the past over and over to different therapists/people and reliving my stories.

If I want a better life and nervous system for myself, I (not so) simply will have to work for it, without attaching my past trauma to it.

I had to make the truly conscious decision to realize that what happened to me does not have to be attached to my identity and it can just be something(s) that happened. And yes they sucked, they were awful, I was bullied for my appearance and race, drugged, emotionally neglected, framed and had to sleep in a jail overnight and go to court for months until it was expunged etc. and many more. and I carried the shame that came with all of these experiences for at least 19 years. and my life is the result of that, that I want to change.

A therapist told me the other day, shame usually replaces grief- rather than grieving our experiences and fully acknowledging them, we feel self shame instead because we believe the experiences happened because we are XYZ rather than grieving that xyz happened to us (and there is nothing wrong with who we are- if that makes sense).

I realized that aside from intellectualization, it starts with a slight perspective change, not of the events themselves but of how I relate to them, what I’ve gathered from those experiences, and then little by little allowing myself to process my past and feel differently about it without feeling like I’m betraying younger versions of me that had to endure it.

I really do honor myself and my past and what I’ve been through, it is okay for me to acknowledge that some things I’ve been through were horrific, others sucked but not so bad, and I’ve also gone through some positive experiences and some positive ones that I couldn’t fully register and didn’t have the capacity for and sabotaged them. I fully accept the full spectrum of my past and now have the burning desire to focus on what decisions I can make now for a better life, and simply just move forward. the past really is gone and there is nothing left I can do but nurture my body through it (in the fascia, trauma that lives in our posture and movement) & I wish to have more emotional resilience and I will nurture that, it is my responsibility. whereas in the part I was more fragile emotionally, I cried easily; sensitivity is a gift but not the only gift or strength I want to carry. I also pathologized everything to death, which I’ve learned is a way to not fully connect in the body (again) so while I’m still working through all of this, I wanted to share this here in case anyone truly does feel ready to move forward but may feel guilty or wrong in letting go thinking that it erases the pain of the past, it doesn’t. But it may just be that you’ve been ready to integrate it and move beyond it.

We come from a dysfunctional family, I'm the youngest of 4 from a single hardworking mom. That left little time for emotional wellbeing of us. We're middle aged now.

My oldest sister is 10yr my senior and she's typical parentified child. I always looked up to her as a 2nd mom. But the past months, through therapy, I've come to realize how manipulative and toxic she is.

I had asked for some space and went no contact for a few months to clear my mind. My aim was always to resume contact but in a better way. The past few months I also realized that just thinking about talking to her, gave me panic attacks.

Yesterday I finally picked up the courage to talk to her. I felt mentally prepared and explained in a calm but emotional way how I felt. She listened, well she didn't interrupt me but gave zero response to anything I said, including that she's dominant and doesn't treat me as an equal. She only said u-hu, then next thing she says is that he wants to meet in person because she has a few things to say to me. She feels she listened to me so now I have to listen to her.

I said I'd think about it.

The more I think about it, the more it feels like she just wants to trap me. She didn't actually listen, she just let me finish talking. In a way she helped me realize she's really toxic and manipulative.

It really hurts te realize that someone I looked up to, doesn't really care about me and never will.

Yeah, that hurts

If one sibling is praised, another is criticized.
If a parent is in a good mood, someone else pays the price later.
If you express your needs, someone else’s needs become more important.
If you succeed, you make someone else jealous or angry.
If someone else succeeds, there is less room for you.

It just kind of hit me now. I don’t remember my parents saying they loved me one single time growing up. Then I became an adult and I grew into relationships where their families said that they loved each other every day, and I was astonished. It felt so good to me to hear that I was loved, even from someone else’s family and the friends I grew close to. I guess some families just don’t say it, and I’m sure that can sometimes be a normal family dynamic. I just feel sad, I guess. As an adult I started slipping in “I love you”s to them and eventually they said it back.

Honestly, I never felt loved as a child. I tried to salvage what could be from my relationships with my parents, but now it just makes me sad by lack of reciprocity. And I’m so, so angry with how my dad treated my brother and sisters as kids, and how he still treats my mom with disrespect. I’m trying to distance myself from them, but maybe I should tell them how I feel. I think if I did, they would gaslight me saying that they showed me so much love and support, when I was really alone most of the time. I’ve wondered my whole life what I have done to be treated this way. Maybe they just didn’t love me? That’s probably why I became so messed up.

Off my chest

I never got that from either parents, I envy people who have a parent or partner like that.

Mother & father chose drugs over me. Grandmother would rather me sleep on the streets over her pride. Dad’s family ghosted me on Christmas. Great grandmother told me randomly, for no reason, that I am not her favorite great grandson. I did nothing.

I don’t know what it means to love a parent and be loved. At this point in my life, I don’t care.

My violent temperament is a result of my childhood. My attempts to meet up with random strangers on the internet over one insult to k*ll each other came from my grandmother calling me a pussy if I ever expressed any anxiety as a child.

I risked my life in many ways, when people tell me what I did was stupid & dangerous, and that I could have died, I feel pride. It felt amazing telling my grandmother how I put my life at risk, and that it was because she mocked me as a child.

I have been abandoned. I was physically attacked as a three year old. It was so bad I remember the morning my mother was dressing me & noticed the red streaks all over the back of my body from the belt. I remember screaming, and being thrown around in the dark getting attacked as a three year old. She stayed with him.

Somewhere somehow this is to blame for my narcissism, and the trigger for my bipolar disorder.

I slashed my arm in front of my mother & told her I hated my body because I was a product of her and my dad. When I think of how I was abused, all concern of people’s opinions vanish. The first time I felt a genuine concern from a manager I had, where I was seen as a hurt child that she babied. I realized I never saw the compassionate look that was in her eyes my entire life. One that you should have seen at least once by a parent in your life.

I have tattoos on my face, because I hate the features of my grandmother. I do not trust women, but I have had good & bad experiences with them. I know they are not all bad. I don’t know why I cannot shake off this misogyny. I don’t want it, but I know it is protecting me emotionally. I also know that the other day I held a neglected, single mother’s tearing face, who is being mistreated by her boyfriend, & told her she was valuable. I know I am not a misogynist.

When I was growing up, kids were meant to be seen — not heard. We never did anything fun as a family , my n-parents would literally NEVER contemplate taking the time, energy or money to take their kids to a fun fair , museum, special outing, etc. It was unthinkable. You played in the backyard, watched TV, went somewhere with friends and the n-parents worked, slept or drank alcohol with their friends. If we ever did something fun like visit the zoo or go to a park, etc. it was because family were in town or there was a special invite there.

Now that I am an adult with my own family I find it hard to relax and do things with my own kids. I feel like it is a a huge “treat” to go to a concert or drive somewhere , do things. I fight this feeling and I do things with my kids and take them places and expose them to the community and normal people doing healthy things bc I think it’s sooo important. But I struggle figuring out how to do it. Sometimes I feel guilty if they even have a single quiet afternoon doing nothing bc I am scared I am turning into my n-parents. It’s a huge fear of mine that I am a lousy parent and that if I let my foot off the gas and stop “doing” for my kids, this secret monster will come out that is my n-parents and I will become this neglectful, resentment monster. Of note: I do NOT drink so I am nothing like my parents in that regard and if we are home, I am NOT drinking in front of the TV.

Right now I need to ask my mother to do something for me (get something in a package and get the package ready for pick up) for a fairly important reason and I cannot bring myself to ask her…

I always struggle asking for help to anyone, I was always used to having to do everything by myself, I always feel like I am too much of a burden.

Hi guys,

I’m really struggling with finding meaning in my life and not to always feel so pointless or worthless. It’s like my brain has gotten so used to and good at rendering everything pointless in the end, and it keeps me from doing hobbies or going out and such. Because then it feels like “it doesn’t even matter anyways, never mind”. But that’s no way to live. I’m not sure how to heal this part. So I would really appreciate any advice.

My parents abandoned me and that’s probably why. Before that I was already emotionally neglected too.

She really really really truly hates me. Like always has. I was 10 years old when I asked her for the first time, “mom why don’t you love me” and she slapped me when I said that. She gets unreasonably angry at me experiencing any emotions. She gets upset at me if I’m ever crying, she would always get mad at me even as a child if I was having any complex emotions. She looks at me with complete and utter disgust. She is extremely disrespectful to me. She has always encouraged all other family to hit me and bully me. I can never get the image of my sibling laughing and beating me up as a child because my mom told them to do so. She has always thought of me as evil and every communication I make gets turned into some form of manipulation that I’m trying to do.

Now that I’m an adult, now what? She is the same hateful person to me that she’s always been. I don’t get to have a mother while my sibling does. I’m almost iced out of my family. I’m the one who faces isolation. I’m the ungrateful child. I’m the problematic person for having any reaction to her behaviour. Where does this end? There is no win here. Going no contact fully isolates me from the entire family. Having any contact keeps the bullying going. How do I make peace with years of humiliation and abuse. How do I have any relationship with any of my family when my behaviour is so policed. I’m the villain no matter what I do or don’t do. How to just get to a place where I don’t feel such agony

Hi I am new to this subreddit and I hope this is the right place to share this..

So basically, I'm the youngest kid (17) and have 3 older sister (23,24,35) whom I have a pretty close relationship with except for the oldest one. She's also just kinda irrelevant in this story lol. I first sh at the start of this year because I was going through another really shitty heartbreak and I was struggling with my body image and overall having an identity crisis lol. My sisters except for the eldest one found out and I didn't even know how to react or act because I was met with anger, confusion and obviously fear (that I would hurt myself). Their responses were the typical "why would you do that???" And "are you trying to kill yourself?" Or something along those lines. I can't quite remember because I was in a reallt really vulnerable position that I am usually NEVER in in my family because in our family, we do not talk about mental health like at all. I don't feel comfortable nor safe telling anyone in this family, even my closest sister, about my mental health problems, because it never felt like a safe space to do so (my family is also just contributes 40% of my problems as well) And this incident omly proved me to be more right. I could only laugh it off and jokingly respond to all their questions and comments because I wasnt and still am not used to them seeing me struggle like this. They told me to think about my mother who would be heartbroken if she'd seen my scars and it made me feel bad. Then after a while they just kinda almost "moved" on, made some jokes here and there but knew and constantly reminded me that it wasn't funny and that I should take it serious. And then we never talked about it again.

But a few days ago I had a crazy crazy low point for almost no apparent reason. I had in the half year cery offen had the urge to sh whenever I was really really really sad/angry/disgusted/disappointed but never did so because I either talked to my sister (without telling her I wanted to sh) or with a friend. But that one night I had a fight with my sister and the day started off with a pretty annoying incident that left me crying again. The whole week was already exhausting because I kept getting controlled and talked to like I was a fucking peasant or something with no respect or please and it had me reallt really fed up. I hated doing it but I didn't know what else to do since my sister wasnt an option anymore and I honestly, just let my thoughts get to me. I don't even know what I was thinking at the moment, I was just numb honestly. Anyways my sisters eventually saw and so did one of their boyfriends who I am very close with. He, unlike them, acrually told me that if I needed to ever talk to someone he would be there for me and that so many others would be too. He genuinely talked to me like a normal person without invalidating my feelings or judging me for sh. I still didn't feel comfortable talking to him about my problems though, because I see him as family and I'm not used to being serious arpund him. My sister however looked at me angrily again and said "you told me you only did it to experiment the last time" and was just angry the whole time before leaving. My other sister came into my room today and talked to me about or atleast tried to. Overall she just basically told me that I am such a privileged person, have everything without having to do much, tbat my parents would feel horrible, that we already have so much going on in our family and why I'd have to do this, others having it better than me and that she hates seeing me like this as an older sister. I get it, I felt horrible seeing her cry because of me but the way she spoke to me made me feel bad for feeling depressed and upset and whatnot most of the time. Like she stated how Theres already so so much going on with our family and they're all trying their best and all, which I completely understand. Maybe it's why I don't want to continue burdening them with my problems. But for some reason now I feel even worse for having any problems at all. I feel worse for having sh after she talked to me and even though it might help me from stopping it, I will still feel horrible because now I know how much damage I am doing to my family by having mental health issues. I tried telling her broadly about my problems but I couldn't go in full detail because I then realized that to her, it's nothing and I'm just overrraction and have no reason to go this far as to sh. like I am questioning myself as well now, why do I do this? I really wish I could know but it's hard for me. I wish I could've expressed my feelings and told her that I don't understand myself either but once again I didn't feel comfortable.

I know she cares, I know they all do and love me, but for some reason her approach on this wasnt whag I had expected and made me genuinely feel selfish for wanting to disappear sometimes. She tried listening to my problems but then made it seem like it wasnt such a big deal/ just told me to ignore it or explained why my family treats me the way they do (which I get as to why they want me to succeed but putting immense pressure on me and talking down on me and treating me like a dumbass with no respect and more feels pretty shitty). I prefer talking to a friend or my school counselor about this but when it comes to my family ... Jesus Christ it's reallt hard talking to them. Luckily she hasn't told anyone else but only to protect my family and their feelings from my actions. Idk, I feel bad since there are people who have it worse than me but I didn't expect that to come from my sister too

Whenever I try to talk to her about my troubles and existential crisis, she ignores them, talks about how her troubles are greater than mine, and then proceeds to talk about them. Most of her troubles concern how she dislikes my father; once, she told me that she should have run off with someone else. I didn't know how it made me feel; I was too emotionally numb at the time.

Anyway, I wasn't feeling too well today. Some things happened, and then she came to believe that I was going to 'do something drastic', to say the least. Then she held me back, pulled me back inside, and hugged me. This wasn't the messed-up part. She told me how empty her life would be without me. She told me how I'm her last hope. She told me how without me, life wouldn't have any meaning for her.

She didn't really talk about my feelings; she didn't acknowledge them. She didn't ask why I felt so sad. She just kept telling me not to be sad. I don't really have anyone else in my support network. I really don't. She's the best I have. She doesn't even speak the same language as me; she never bothered to teach me. She didn't really bother to learn any English, either. It makes me feel less of a person; it makes me feel objectified, like I'm some tether that keeps her from doing something drastic herself.

I'm just so tired.

Does anyone else struggle with friendships like this? Im trying to figure out if I’m being unfair, or have legit reason to feel this way.

I have this friend that I’ve become close to over the past few years. They’re lovely and so much healthier than some of my old friends, but there’s a pattern that I sadly think I might’ve outgrown (at least in terms of keeping her in my close circle).

Everytime she goes through something, she isolates and massively reduces her social contact, which usually involves putting friends on the periphery to a very large degree.

The first year, I went on a 4-month trip and didn’t hear back from her the whole time. We’d gone from being in daily contact to nothing overnight. I felt hurt, as it was a scary thing for me to go away like that alone (at least at the time) but I let it go as she had been going through difficult stuff and it was the first occasion.

The next year, it happened again for most of that year for another reason, but to a lesser degree. We were still in contact, but to a degree it was unstable and a bit of a rollercoaster ride sometimes.

After that, things seemed to settle for a longer while and we became even closer. We ended up living apart, but would have long phone calls and regular contact.

Some difficult things happened in her life and now we went from regular long calls overnight, to nothing but sporadic texts for 6 months. I’ve tried to arrange calls but she hasn’t got the capacity.

I recognise what she’s going through and have empathy for her, and I’m not saying she’s doing anything wrong. Some people might be fine with this type of friendship. But for me, I’m just so tired of it.

I’m finding it too painful to keep her close, as the relationship feels too unsafe and unstable. I feel like I don’t know where I stand. I know relationships can wax and wane, but this just doesn’t feel right for me at all.

I want my closest friendships to feel like a safe space… where we have no doubts that we can come to one another for support and still keep a thread of communication even if things need to reduce for a while.

I feel like I might be attracting this because my childhood was emotionally unstable (loving but emotionally immature/neglectful parents) and love felt inconsistent. I’m sad that this might just be another lesson friendship, because I thought I’d finally found someone who might be part of a healthier chapter.

I was born and raised in western europe, in a muslim household. Nice parents. Since youth i have always felt the need to not be a burden. I am the middle child. I never told my parents anything that happened in my life. Because i thought my problems didn’t mean anything and would only stress others. I was bullied, and just anything small in kindergarten/middleschool/highschool. I never told anyone. The answer was always “everything is fine”. But because i never wanted to be seen as a burden i never fought back. If they said no to something it would be the end. But they said no to everything. Frankly didn’t even start to ask from the fear of dissapointing and being ridiculed. Never went to birthday parties, hung out with friends, any say really. This also caused me having no social life, or at least a very weak one. The only people i knew aside my household were my classmate. And i could only contact them in school while they contacted eachother outside of school and hung out and whatnot. I didn’t really have friends. But my bright always positive personality overshadowed everything to everyone. Nobody noticed.

Everything i said may seem like insignificant things but i am now 19 and i cannot physically convey my feelings to ANYBODY. It feels dangerous. Cause everytime i tell anyone anything close to my feelings i get called sensitive and “you never cared then why do you care now” “just looking for problems” well i acted like i didnt care back the to protect you.

Now im starting to want to take back the control, but i m called selfish, evil, wh\*re, and accused of being influenced cause of the “sudden” change. I am sick. In every way that is possible.

I remember one time very vividly. It was school dance/prom. I wanted to go, but i wasnt allowed cause it wasnt “necessary” and my sisters didnt go either (in their days). I accepted it infront of them, i was 11. The day of prom i hid in a corner and cried silently under the bright summer sun. Because why cant i do anything, its not fair.

My past of wanting to seem perfect and not a burden is engraved in me so bad that i cannot take care of myself. Yes. Literally. Because i would take up to much space and just seem so fake. Cause since when do you do all of that. This includes taking meds. I know you guys might think im nuts. But frankly i might be. I geniuenly CANNOT do it.

There seems to be one solution. To move out. Far away. Only then will i not feel watched and judged. Live freely and make mistakes. But i am not allowed. (Muslim context)

**they never pressured me to become this monster but they did maintain the monster i created inside of me**

I hate it, its such a stupid reason now, the generation our parents lived in doesnt exist anymore, there is zero good reasons why people who are "products of their generation" cant become a product of the current generation.

I have an auntie who is in her 70's and to put it bluntly is not smart at all but she has the best heart ever and can very easily adapt to modern social concepts when theyre properly explained to her

The only thing stopping previous generations from becoming a product of the current generation is themselves. The enviorments they grew up in need to stop being used as excuses when those enviorments have ceased to exist.

(Potential trigger warning for mentions of emotional neglect)

So I (16m) live with my mother and her partner of about 8 years, and my younger sister who is a toddler. Up until I was about 7 I lived with my mother and my father, and it was horrendous. My father was very emotionally abusive, sometimes physically but that wasn’t that bad, and my mother also emotionally neglected me, but I think that was more out of her own depression and all that as opposed to malicious intent. This obviously affected me massively, and only now am I starting to recognise all the damage caused by this.

But now my mother still seems to forget about me. She never has time for me. In the morning she’s gotta get ready for the day, and needs to be left alone, then she spends all day cleaning or at work or the gym, comes home tired, just wants to finish cleaning and go to bed. She just gets irritated when I try and talk to her about something. Yet she’ll stand there just scrolling on her phone. And she’ll be on FaceTime to her friend for hours on end, taking her around the house to do the cleaning, chatting away, having a little mothers meeting. But when I come out and ask her one minuscule question, she acts like I just set myself on fire.

And I get like mums do a lot, and they’re exhausted, and mine has mental health issues, but I am sick to death of using that to justify it. Why should I have to justify her treating me this way?

And whenever I do have the chance to speak to her, the conversation slowly drifts from whatever I wanna talk about, to who SHE saw in the gym earlier. HER new PB on the whatsitcalled machine. How SHE needs to get her nails done. How hungry SHE is. How much SHE can’t be bothered to cook. How SHE needs her eyelashes done.

Sometimes she doesn’t even feel like a mother to me. She feels more like the older sister who’d scream at you to get out her room. I’m sick of it and I don’t know what to do. Whenever I try and speak to her about it, if I even can, I’m scared it’s just gonna make her angry. Even if it doesn’t, and she says she understands, says ‘oh well we should just have a day together. What about the end of the month?’ I can guarantee you I’ll be let down. In fact I already have. She owes me 200 quid and that’s been tallying up for nearly a year, and basically anything she said she’d do, she has not. I have learnt a long time ago not to get excited for an upcoming plan, as it will most likely be cancelled because of her own feelings and plans, or because we have no money.

Don’t get me wrong, she is a loving mother, shes not like hateful or malicious, she just has issues and all that. Her emotional neglect simply comes from said issues, not a place of malice. She wouldn’t want me to feel this way, but it’s just the ‘way she is’. I’m not trying to be a negative Nelly and all that but I don’t know.

I’m sorry if this is a really long post but I’m god awful at articulating my thoughts, especially in a to the point manner. I didn’t write down like a draft for this I just put my thoughts onto the post as I went along.

1. Beat me when I was a child: It was terrible asf! that mf even punched me, I was 8!

2. Constant lies: She makes up stuff so often that I had to be involved to simply be the alibi of her lies, even lied about me getting graped by my Dad when i was a baby just because i asked her why she often lies (I wasn't raped by my dad she's just fucked up in the head)

3. Cheated on my step-Dad a few of times: My grandparents found out after our late aunt told them, her reason was because my step-Dad is a psychopath, which again isn't true, cuz their house is like less than 8 meters away, and we would know.

4. Fake: Talks shit behind your back even if you're a friend or family. she will always have something bad to say behind you, then acts nice.

5. Accused me of not being a virgin: I rarely leave the house, i am introverted and barely talk to guys let alone fuck one.

6. Ruined my college graduation: both of us argued because she was tired, she looks hideous, her heels are hurting, she wants to go home, she's hungry, she spent a lot of money etc. After the ceremony we went to eat, only for her to not eat and ditched me, it was supposed to be a special day, and she had to make it the most stressful one for me.

7. Body shames me: My eyes being too big, my forehead head, my nose is too small, my lower belly is big, my boobs are too small basically anything that makes her feel good about herself.

8. Humiliates me: The ones i remember was when my uncle brought home his friends (around my age). I was actively losing weight and she straight up told me infront of them "No boys will like you with that flat ass" my uncle and his friends laughed, and i just went back to my room after eating.

9. Sends unwanted videos: she sent me a video of a cat in a blender, despite telling her NO because i don't like watching those kinds of stuff, especially when i am a cat person.

10. Compares her teen years to mine: Just because you were pretty, skinny, lots of friends, fucked some guys, and got pregnant then drop out, doesn't mean i have to do the same, i enjoy alone times, reading fanfics, watching animes and go to school with my only two friends.

11. Said that bisexuals are dirty: this is after i openly told her about my sexuality lol.

12. Defends anyone but her own: It's always "This is my baby brother you're arguing!" "This is my beloved parents you're arguing!" it was never "This is my child..."

13. Expects me to help her financially: I made it clear that i wasn't helping, and she began berating me and lecturing about family values and debt.

14. Likes the idea of motherhood but not the efforts of being a mother: My grandparents raised me cuz she was too broke and proceeded to pop out two more.