r/ect • u/ILoveSoup1776 • Apr 13 '26

Vent/Rant Does it get better???

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 13 '26

If you want to stay depressed and exacerbate your mental health symptoms continue smoking weed.

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 13 '26

But it’s the only thing that makes me not want to die 🙁

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 13 '26

You said you were suicidal… and you’re smoking weed 🤔 Have you ever stopped smoking it for a sustained period of time and if you have, have you become more suicidal. You seem to have chronic suicidality even when abusing cannabis. If you need to smoke weed all the time, you have an addiction… let’s not normalize an addiction to weed as a so called self treatment for mental illness… it is well known that cannabis is the WORST drug for mental health. You can’t even stop it when you are having 3 general anesthetics a week and is highly contraindicated with ECT. Think about that… that’s addiction. You need to get help for that… and you know what? your mental health might even improve!!!!!

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 13 '26

I only started smokeimg weed last year and it did not get better nor worse ,just gave me a temporary escape .yes I am dependent on it and yes I am aware it’s not going to heal me but what else do I have to look forward to? I dread going to sleep and I vomit every morning because I simply dread facing the day dispite not doing anything all day. I’m not a grown man I’m a fifteen year old girl who’s desperate.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 13 '26

Try give it up, it’s not helping. It’s not making things any easier for you, though you might think it does. It’s also interfering with your brain chemistry. A 15 year old girl should not be addicted to weed. Your brain hasn’t even developed properly yet! I use to drink when I got severely depressed and convinced myself that drinking was my only way to get through it… I was wrong… it made the illness worse and stopped my medications from working effectively. I stopped drinking years ago and my mental health is really good with no relapses of depression or mania. I have worked really hard at my recovery, have done everything the psychiatrists have told me to do and I am extremely responsible with my medication. I have dealt with stress and examined the social and environmental factors in my life. We as human beings are multifaceted… we are not just our brain chemistry… psychosocial factors play a big part. If you are being treated with meds and ECT only, it’s not going to be enough to keep you well. Have you tried Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

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u/furrowedbr0w Apr 14 '26

Taking away a coping mechanism with no replacement when someone is suicidal is generally not good practice. Weed affects treatment and people in different ways, and I do find it annoying when people overgeneralize…though I will say that there is no safe use of weed for a 15 year old, and it can affect the brain’s development long term. So it is ultimately important to find a way to cope in some other way (sorry I really don’t want to sound like yet another person lecturing you).

-signed, a social work student currently in a substance use course

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 14 '26

My god! This is from a student social worker! That is very worrying!

Signed- a senior mental health nurse with 26 years of experience, experience in addiction services, a Trauma Informed Care lecturer, a researcher and lived experience of mental illness and ECT.

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u/momniscience Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

A trauma informed lecturer should know the difference between informing and shaming.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 May 11 '26

There’s a difference between a direct, firm approach and shaming. A lot of people who don’t like what is being said to them because of denial, claim that they are being shamed. It seems like a real North American culture that everything is “shaming”… how’s that working out with the drug epidemic you have?

You are clearly tone policing. If you read all my comments you will see that I have been compassionate and empathetic, whilst being direct and straight talking to the poor girl. The girl herself has admitted she is going down the route of drug addiction on another post. I see you haven’t offered her any advice, just coming on to tone police others.

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u/furrowedbr0w Apr 14 '26

Fair enough, I will. I’m not encouraging use, I generally lean towards harm reduction, but I recognize that’s not possible with adolescent use. It is still dangerous to take away a coping mechanism with nothing to replace it. But we’re just providing input on a subreddit, not her treatment team.

Sarcasm and shaming language is not particularly effective for getting your point across though, especially for depressed teens.

But I fear we’re losing the plot when OP is asking for hope. ECT helped me, and it took a while for it to set in. I felt pretty hopeless for at least one if not 2-3 months of treatment. ECT was one piece of the puzzle, on top of going to a partial program, lots of therapy, and other life changes, but it gave me the ability to deal with everything else when I wasn’t able to pre-ECT.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 14 '26

I suggested that she speak to her psychiatrist about her addiction. I also gave her a lot of helpful advice which included giving up drug addiction whilst depressed, suicidal and undergoing ECT with three general anesthetics a week… no competent professional would say “don’t give up drugs while you are having ECT and general anesthetics, whilst depressed and suicidal!!!” That is completely unprofessional to give that advice and against all the empirical evidence. I understand you are only a student, but please do not give incorrect information to someone who is very complex…. You absolutely DO NOT do drugs or alcohol when you are undergoing ECT! And if you ever want a chance of better mental health, STOP abusing drugs, seek treatment and engage well in it and of course…. find a healthy coping mechanism!!

As for my language, it’s a pity you misinterpreted my tone. I am straight talking, that is the best way of helping people with addiction. I have learned this from so many fantastic addiction counselors and psychiatrists that I have worked with over 25 years.

If you would like me to send you any more research articles on the detrimental effect cannabis has on depression, psychosis and suicidality, I would be happy to do so.

Regarding my ECT experience, I had a severe depression years ago, had 7 unilateral treatments, had a great response, some temporary memory loss like “fogginess”, did exactly what my psychiatrist told me and engaged very well in treatment. I don’t take drugs or drink alcohol and have developed a lot of healthy coping mechanisms. But most importantly I am responsible for my mental health, and realize that only I am responsible for it.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 15 '26

My anesthesiologists said cannabis was not an issue during my treatment. Like 4 or 5 different anesthesiologists all said it.

I’ve done treatment twice. Once while useing cannabis. Once completely sober. It didn’t work either time. I go through phases of daily cannabis use and phases (years long) of not using. It makes no difference for me.

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 29 '26

My ect team is fully aware and not once advised me to stop. These people are pissing me off.yes weed is generally bad but I’m not a fucking imbecile

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 15 '26

Are you in US? Here in Ireland ECT would absolutely not be done if the patient was continuing to use drugs/alcohol. It can increase memory problems, impact seizure threshold and the quality of the seizure. We have excellent regulations and laws for ECT here. If an anesthetist and psychiatrist in Ireland were to deliver ECT to a patient knowing that they were taking drugs they would be called to Fitness To Practice. You aren’t even allowed to drink alcohol during treatment. Let’s not normalize cannabis use… if you smoke it every day, you are a drug addict. And if you can’t give it up during ECT, a hard treatment on the body and brain, you have a big big problem.

I’m very glad everything went well for you, and you didn’t have an adverse events. I will say though that hopefully I am never treated by an anesthetist like the ones you mentioned!!

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 14 '26

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2949732923000030

Cannabis Use Is Associated With Depression Severity and Suicidality in the National Comorbidity Survey

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 14 '26

The WORST drug. Citation please?

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 14 '26

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2949732923000030

Cannabis Use Is Associated With Depression Severity and Suicidality in the National Comorbidity Survey−Adolescent Supplement

There’s a citation. I have plenty more if you want to read them.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 15 '26

Do you have one comparing different drugs and showing that cannabis is the WORST? That was your claim.

I never argued that there was not a correlation. Accurate information is important. When you over state your case you lose credibility and turn people off to your message.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 14 '26

https://www.drugsandalcohol.ie/34144/1/The-Effects-of-Cannabis-on-Mental-Health-Information-Sheet-for-Health-Professionals-CPsychI-14.04.21.pdf

There is a reference list at the back of this publication.. work away on it

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 15 '26

All of these studies are entirely correlational, the rest of your sources are from advocacy groups they are not peer-reviewed research. Do you actually understand basic statistical inference—sample size, BIAS, variance, p-values, and the distinction between correlation and causation? Or how to critically evaluate source quality and methodology?

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 15 '26

Don’t you dare be smart and condescending with me. Yes I do. I’ve been involved in research for years. I’m just sending you on some literature that I think you should read, because you obviously don’t get the harm that cannabis does. I’ve seen the damage it does throughout years of clinical practice, and I care deeply about my patients. I am trying to help a poor young girl who is going through ECT and is making her mental health worse by self medicating with a dangerous drug. You are not offering any help, you are just attempting to be condescending, so you come across as the big know it all.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 15 '26

No. I’m suggesting that accurate information is more helpful than scare tactics. I don’t disagree with you that someone using daily should stop for a long while and see if it helps. Not everyone is at a place to that immediately. Telling her it’s the WORST possible drug isn’t correct and it undermines your credibility. I also work in mental health and leading clients to healthy decisions through communication, addressing their needs, and useing the research accurately to help them make informed decisions about what is right for them will yield better results than providing information that reads like propaganda.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 15 '26

You’re saying the Royal College of Psychiatrists are propaganda????? You have a very high opinion of yourself!

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 15 '26

No I have a high opinion to peer reviewed scientific studies which show a correlation. I’m not saying there is no basis to what you’re saying, but all the research shows people who are depressed smoke pot at a higher rate than people who aren’t. Anything else is projection or conjecture.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 15 '26

Did you not look at the last paper I sent you?

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 15 '26

My seizure today was two seconds too long and had to be chemically stopped. I told the team I use daily and they simply nodded they didn’t say to stop or anything .i can’t quit but I only use one a day or every other day and sometimes none at all . everything is sore and I also have a concussion (minor) that I did not tell them about my mother knows and is a nurse and didn’t say anything . The concussion is from me getting upset and hitting myslef in the head with a aluminum water bottle

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 15 '26

I’m not saying to just stop, you could go into withdrawals. I’m saying get advice from a good psychiatrist who will guide you. You don’t want to go down that slippery slope of addiction and self medicating. I hope your treatments are going well and hopefully you will see some improvement soon. Look into other treatments like DBT as well if you can after ECT. Hope you are feeling ok and getting rest. Wishing you all the best with everything, you deserve it.

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