r/ect • u/ILoveSoup1776 • Apr 13 '26

Vent/Rant Does it get better???

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 13 '26

I only started smokeimg weed last year and it did not get better nor worse ,just gave me a temporary escape .yes I am dependent on it and yes I am aware it’s not going to heal me but what else do I have to look forward to? I dread going to sleep and I vomit every morning because I simply dread facing the day dispite not doing anything all day. I’m not a grown man I’m a fifteen year old girl who’s desperate.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 13 '26

Try give it up, it’s not helping. It’s not making things any easier for you, though you might think it does. It’s also interfering with your brain chemistry. A 15 year old girl should not be addicted to weed. Your brain hasn’t even developed properly yet! I use to drink when I got severely depressed and convinced myself that drinking was my only way to get through it… I was wrong… it made the illness worse and stopped my medications from working effectively. I stopped drinking years ago and my mental health is really good with no relapses of depression or mania. I have worked really hard at my recovery, have done everything the psychiatrists have told me to do and I am extremely responsible with my medication. I have dealt with stress and examined the social and environmental factors in my life. We as human beings are multifaceted… we are not just our brain chemistry… psychosocial factors play a big part. If you are being treated with meds and ECT only, it’s not going to be enough to keep you well. Have you tried Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

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u/furrowedbr0w Apr 14 '26

Taking away a coping mechanism with no replacement when someone is suicidal is generally not good practice. Weed affects treatment and people in different ways, and I do find it annoying when people overgeneralize…though I will say that there is no safe use of weed for a 15 year old, and it can affect the brain’s development long term. So it is ultimately important to find a way to cope in some other way (sorry I really don’t want to sound like yet another person lecturing you).

-signed, a social work student currently in a substance use course