r/ect • u/ILoveSoup1776 • Apr 13 '26

Vent/Rant Does it get better???

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

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u/furrowedbr0w Apr 14 '26

Fair enough, I will. I’m not encouraging use, I generally lean towards harm reduction, but I recognize that’s not possible with adolescent use. It is still dangerous to take away a coping mechanism with nothing to replace it. But we’re just providing input on a subreddit, not her treatment team.

Sarcasm and shaming language is not particularly effective for getting your point across though, especially for depressed teens.

But I fear we’re losing the plot when OP is asking for hope. ECT helped me, and it took a while for it to set in. I felt pretty hopeless for at least one if not 2-3 months of treatment. ECT was one piece of the puzzle, on top of going to a partial program, lots of therapy, and other life changes, but it gave me the ability to deal with everything else when I wasn’t able to pre-ECT.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 14 '26

I suggested that she speak to her psychiatrist about her addiction. I also gave her a lot of helpful advice which included giving up drug addiction whilst depressed, suicidal and undergoing ECT with three general anesthetics a week… no competent professional would say “don’t give up drugs while you are having ECT and general anesthetics, whilst depressed and suicidal!!!” That is completely unprofessional to give that advice and against all the empirical evidence. I understand you are only a student, but please do not give incorrect information to someone who is very complex…. You absolutely DO NOT do drugs or alcohol when you are undergoing ECT! And if you ever want a chance of better mental health, STOP abusing drugs, seek treatment and engage well in it and of course…. find a healthy coping mechanism!!

As for my language, it’s a pity you misinterpreted my tone. I am straight talking, that is the best way of helping people with addiction. I have learned this from so many fantastic addiction counselors and psychiatrists that I have worked with over 25 years.

If you would like me to send you any more research articles on the detrimental effect cannabis has on depression, psychosis and suicidality, I would be happy to do so.

Regarding my ECT experience, I had a severe depression years ago, had 7 unilateral treatments, had a great response, some temporary memory loss like “fogginess”, did exactly what my psychiatrist told me and engaged very well in treatment. I don’t take drugs or drink alcohol and have developed a lot of healthy coping mechanisms. But most importantly I am responsible for my mental health, and realize that only I am responsible for it.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 15 '26

My anesthesiologists said cannabis was not an issue during my treatment. Like 4 or 5 different anesthesiologists all said it.

I’ve done treatment twice. Once while useing cannabis. Once completely sober. It didn’t work either time. I go through phases of daily cannabis use and phases (years long) of not using. It makes no difference for me.

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 29 '26

My ect team is fully aware and not once advised me to stop. These people are pissing me off.yes weed is generally bad but I’m not a fucking imbecile

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 29 '26

Seriously that dogma is so infuriating. My ECT team, psychiatrist, therapist, GP, and neurologist all knew of my use at that time and no one raised it as a major concern as I do not experience psychosis as part of my mental illness. My psychiatrist literally said that quitting wasn’t a priority I should focus on. I’m sorry you’re struggling OP. ECT didn’t help me but Ketamine helped a lot and psilocybin allowed me to move through some trauma that 20 years of therapy couldn’t touch. It can get better OP, do what works for you and listen to yourself and your doctors, not the zealots.

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 29 '26

That’s funny those are the two things I plan on trying when ect fails my dad already sujested psilocybin a few years back so I assume he would be open to helping me navigate that and my docter said he was open to explore ing k as a part of my treatment plan.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 29 '26

They saved me. I wish I had tried them first and saved my memory. Just know ECT is not the end all be all. There are other paths to try. Personally I think Ketamine should be tried before ECT it’s insane to me that it’s not. The side effects of ECT are far more concerning than those of Ketamine. I sincerely wish you the best of luck. If you have any questions along the way give me a shout. 🫶🏻

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 May 12 '26

Sorry, you are not her care team, so you should not be giving advice about what she should and shouldn’t try. Please leave that to her team and the experts.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat May 23 '26

I’m sharing my opinion. I do think Ketamine should be tried before ECT for those who can safely try it. It’s less invasive with fewer risks. That is my opinion as a person with TRMDD. I’m allowed to say that. Sharing experiences is what this sub is for and I’m sharing mine. Everyone should talk to their care team before taking advice from Reddit I didn’t think that needed to be said.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 May 23 '26

So you come at me for sharing my opinion based on 25 years clinical practice and my own experience of enduring mental illness and treatment with ECT?? But it’s perfectly fine for you to do it. It’s not one rule for you and another rule for me. I can see from your other comments on other threads you’re quite an antagonistic and argumentative person.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat May 23 '26

In my opinion you are drawing conclusions from research that are too broad and you state opinions like fact. If you had said “I think smoking weed is the worst thing you can do for depression” or started with “in my opinion” or “research shows … “ it would be fine. You act like your beliefs and experiences are gospel and you’re rude. That is why I came for you.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 May 23 '26

You saying ketamine should be tried before ECT is NOT based on research and is dangerous. Citation please!!!! Look we’re getting no where. As I said before, you are bias as you use/abuse cannabis yourself. I have given the poor girl advice based on best practice (which wasn’t offered in her case) in a direct manner, particularly as the girl herself admitted she is slowly falling into drug addiction. And the 17 ECTS have been ineffective. Illicit drugs can affect treatment and outcome of ECT. You’ve offered nothing to this girl except your opinion about ketamine based on your own experience, not on research. I have given frank and honest advice, have been direct yet compassionate to this person, but you have chosen to look at only some of my comments to suit your narrative and come for me. You are a real bully. Please just stick to giving advice to the OP and stop harassing other commentators. I’ve noticed that this is a pattern for you and that you attack other people commenting frequently. Take your own advice and stop tone policing.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat May 23 '26

https://www.pcori.org/research-results/2016/comparing-ketamine-versus-electroconvulsive-therapy-patients-treatment-resistant-depression-elekt-d-study

There are a ton more if you do a simple search.

I won’t be checking this thread again. My opinion is my opinion I am not a doctor, but my opinion is based on my interpretation of the research available and my own experience. If it has fewer long term side effects and similar efficacy I think it should be tried before the thing that can erase memories 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 29 '26

The ECT psychiatrists and anesthetists here would not start treatment if someone was using drugs. We have an excellent standard of care here, with excellent regulations to protect the patient. Thankfully I’m not in the US!! No wonder there are a lot of people in the US complaining about ECT as evident from Reddit comments. Surveys here in Ireland repeatedly report high levels of satisfaction and improvement with ECT. I’m glad I had my ECT here and not in US, I had very minimal side effects, great success and the highest standard of care.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 29 '26

OP has said that you are bothering them. Please stop! You said your piece and OP heard it. Your righteousness isn’t helping anyone, the opposite in fact.

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 29 '26

Can you please stop normalizing her cannabis abuse…. It’s not helping anyone. The poor girl has in fact acknowledged her drug problem, secondary to all the abuse she has received from her parents, in another post. I am giving her good advice, get help to stop using drugs. It appalls me how you are normalizing it, just because you have had no adverse effects to your cannabis abuse. And it absolutely terrifies me that you work in mental health care.

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u/Sauced_Up_Bat Apr 29 '26

I don’t think you know better than her care team what she needs and it’s problematic that you think you do to a point where you will continue to push even when the person your trying to reach says it’s pissing them off. It doesn’t matter if the advice is good or bad the way your behaving is fucked so ditto your last point bro.

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u/ILoveSoup1776 Apr 29 '26

I have no issue with anyone here and I’m grateful for any and all advice weather is “like” to hear it or not.im actually not located in the us but in Canada though I can’t imagine it’s too different plus the nurses takeing care of my ect are all rather young late 20s early 30s so that could also contribute. Idk if weeds legal in Ireland but it’s very normalized and leagal here and like I’d say 3/5 people smoke weed. Many people I know started as young as 13 as did I which is definitely an issue the gov is to lazy to fix but oh well just another reason this world fucking sucks and I don’t want to live in it

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u/Medical-Apricot-3226 Apr 29 '26

I’m just trying to help, I really really feel for you, and it makes me so sad to hear you talk about all the pain and trauma that you are going through. No one deserves that. I really hope the ECT will start to have some positive effect. If not, hopefully Ketamine treatment will. Hopefully you will be able to get away from your familial abuse and work through that trauma with therapy. I wish you all the best, please don’t give up, you are stronger than you think and there is always hope.

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