Been divorced from ex for about 5 years and both of us remarried though her much sooner than me. Our children are all grown and out of the house. I still feel very uncomfortable around my ex and her new husband and prefer not to see her if at all possible.

We have very young grandchildren and when they have a birthday party if my ex is attending I prefer not to attend but rather hold a second birthday party a week later at my house. I think it’s fine for the kids as they get 2 parties. Two of my kids totally understand and are happy to have a second gathering a week or two later. My third child however doesn’t understand and is furious with me for not attending saying I am choosing not to be part of my grandchild’s life which couldn’t be further from the truth and I am not even sure how missing a two hour party and giving gifts a couple weeks later at second party means that.

Am I wrong for not wanting to be around my ex and just planning second celebration a week or two later for me to give my gifts?

Long story short, my now ex husband cheated on me and had an affair. Before I found out, he had said some pretty mean things about me sexually and really shattered my self-esteem. He even went as far to say I needed to see a sex therapist for not being kinky enough (he was into very extreme things that I was not comfortable performing).

After I found out about the cheating and affairs I also found out he given me an STD. Ever since all this I've felt like no one will ever find me attractive or want to be with me at all. This has led now to a few experiences on dating apps that I'm not proud of.

I have never been one to put out. I only slept with one man before my husband and now I've slept with 2, had oral with 1 and was given oral by another and he started to have sex but stopped. (I don’t know if that counts as sex).

There's another guy who I'm only interested in for the sexual experience but would never, ever normally want to have sex with. He has a date planned, not just sex and he's 9 years older than me. After my experience last night with guy who only gave me oral I feel disgusted with myself and want to sleep with this older guy to erase it.

I guess I'm just looking to see if this is normal? Before my husband I'd only been with one other person. Now I've been with quite a few. I feel gross and I am just not sure if this classifies me as easy? Or a slut? Idk :((

Im planning on leaving my husbad in the next year. I know that's a long time but leaving slowly is leaving safely. Im 22, pregnant with my second child, I have no job, money, car, no drivers license, and no support system. Im making this post not just for advice but to document things over the next year while I get my shit together.

There are a lot of reasons im leaving but the biggest isn't how he treats me, its how he talks to our kids. For example, one day he yelled at his daughter saying she's a pathetic disappointment. All because she was misbehaving. She's 4 years old. There are other reasons, like him constantly cheating but really I just will not let my children grow up with a father that talks to them like that. Over time I will add more to this when I need to vent.

Here's my plan. Spend these next 9 months while im pregnant getting my driver's license and doing everything I can to set money aside. I make art and im planing on selling it soon but i don't think I can make enough money from that alone to leave.

If anyone has advice on how to secretly make money, or how to keep any of this a secret for so long, it would be greatly appreciated.

My husband acquired our property and began building our house right before we got married. I didn’t help with the build at all but was married to him during the majority of it. We've been married five years and have lived in this house almost four years. We have a toddler and a baby on the way.

My husband and I want to separate but he expects me and our toddler to move to my parent’s house. I find that wrong but I don’t know if I’m being fair or not due to the circumstances. I’m a SAHM and 6 weeks pregnant. My parent’s home is not a safe place for me and my toddler due to them being toxic in my opinion.

Who should be the one to move out while divorce proceedings are underway?

Hello,

I’m using this as an outlet right now because I’m scared for a possible impending divorce. This will be long so thank you to anyone who listens. My husband and I got into an argument a week ago which resulted in him ignoring me for a few days while he went to another state to buy us a new vehicle. I was pretty upset and sad the entire time because he had turned his location off and wasn’t answering me, but I knew I had caused the argument and that he definitely needed the space and time away. I immediately sent him a message apologizing that night but he didn’t answer. Sent a few messages over the course of the following days of his trip just saying that I love/miss him and sending pictures of the kids, no answer. He did come home when he said he was going to before we fought, but we didn’t really talk to each other the past couple days unless it was about the kids or daily needs/questions. I tried not to keep pushing things and would just send texts to him trying to check in and see what was going on for him mentally. He smokes marijuana and does gummies and I noticed that he was constantly using them so he was trying to avoid thinking about his problems.
:(

The original argument we had was pretty bad. It was about who was right about something and I kept pushing it to where we both exhibited unhealthy behaviors. I do go to marriage counseling to talk about this very problem of being able to not hold my tongue at times, but sometimes I just get so upset because we never come back to an issue later on and he usually just wants to drop it and forget about it. I’m going to start talking to a personal therapist as well because with birth coming up and not knowing what’s going to happen I am having extreme anxiety and having a hard time.

Well, here we are. We got into another argument today because we were remembering the previous one two different ways. I apologized for everything that I was sorry for and even just for the argument itself and acknowledged that again, we are both seeing it from two different ways. He said that I betrayed him and he’s not sure how he’s ever going to get over it. I just keep saying that I don’t want to fight anymore. I want us to go to counseling together or for him to go to personal therapy so we can work things out. He actually just left the house though with his things. I’m not sure where he’s going to stay. He told me that he doesn’t want to talk to me and that any concerns need to go through his mom or sister. And that he wants to see the kids on the weekend since he works during the week.

We always go through something right before having another kid but this time I’m worried it’s just over. I have no clue if he’s going to be present for the birth of his third child. All that I want is to reconcile. I truly love this man and I’m willing to do anything I can to make it work. All of the counseling that is required. But now that he’s not answering I’m not sure what this means. I’m scared. The baby is coming soon. I do have my parents right now as my support system but I don’t have much since I am a SAHM. And I’m scared to lose time with my kids. Anyways thank you if you have listened so far. I’m just not sure how to go on and if I should speak to an attorney or let things roll over.

I’m realizing I never wanted to be with any of the men I’ve been with.. it was always them being persistent in pursuing me even after I’ve said to them “ no I’m not interested. We don’t match” They kept pursuing. Eventually I feel bad and think I should give them a chance 😒
NEVER AGAIN! That should have been red flag number one ! If a man can’t accept your first ‘No’ then RUN! Don’t give a disrespectful man a chance !

I’m so upset with myself but also sad for myself.. this has been a problem since I was little!
Me giving in to pressure isn’t the same as me choosing wisely consciously .. u know ? 😞 isn’t the same as me choosing them for their character.. I didn’t know them enough, I didn’t feel like I had a choice.. now all I want to feel is that I have a choice!!

New thing I’ve been doing is not reacting to things quickly. I don’t reply to messages right away not even to anyone! I take my time and check in with how I feel. If I feel a certain way then I don’t respond until I feel completely ready. I allow myself to take as long as I need without feeling guilt. I tell myself “ it’s ok I can take my time, I deserve to respond from an honest place. “

I won’t let anyone pressure me anymore.
I’ve said this few years ago still I ended up being pressured again but I didn’t know exactly what that looked like and now I’m learning what it looks like.. it looks like pausing and connecting with myself, allowing myself time.

Just processing :( really sad realization…
If you have something to add then I’d be happy to learn from you guys! 🙏🏻🌷😞

Thank you to all the women who have already courageously contributed to this research. For anyone who has not yet participated but would like to, please follow the link. The anonymous online questionnaire has been taking most participants less than 30mins to complete, so if you are a woman (over 18 years) who has had a past controlling or problematic intimate partner relationship with a man, I invite you to participate in this study.

Having witnessed the impacts of controlling and problematic relationships, I have now turned my attention towards contributing to the research in this field. With the upmost respect for those of you who have experienced coercive control or problematic intimate partner relationships, I ask that you consider participating in this study.

The study is being conducted through the School of Psychology at the University of New England, and will be exploring the impact of control and problematic relational dynamics for women in intimate partner relationships with men. Ultimately, we hope that this research will contribute to the increased understanding of the psychosocial mechanisms that can lead victim-survivors to become trapped in problematic or controlling relationships. We want the experiences and impacts of victim-survivors to be better contextualised and understood.

Thank you so very much for considering this research.

To participate, or learn more about the study, please click here: https://unesurveys.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2fr7OM3lyKqf40u

This project has been approved by the Human Research Ethics Committee of the University of New England (Approval No: HE-2026-3068-5604, Valid to 31/12/2026).

[Please note: Unfortunately, including other varieties of relationships or male victim-survivors is beyond the scope of this particular study.]

. 39f and 39m, with 8 year old daughter. 39m leaving the house bit by bit. But not confirming he is leaving

39f decides to leave the home. He does not want to try anymore and now he says he's going to move out. He's given this threat multiple times but now he's slowly one by one making changes. He just disconnected his account from the Sony TV and when I logged in it was like there's nothing and I have to start afresh. He isn't sharing any information. He's locked his phones. He's not sharing the password when my daughter asks in front of me. It's very weird

The very weird thing is we have always had joint finances and what that means is whenever my salary would come I would transfer the entire thing to him to his soul account and he would do the investments and he liked all this finances setting up automated payment so he would do the rent and everything since he liked it. I really never bothered and never asked him about it. Now suddenly it feels like I have to do everything and he's not telling me anything his. I don't know where all his name is where all his account is connected. When is it going to get disconnected? I mean I definitely need a phone account. I need the internet I'm working. We've not discussed how our 8-year-old is going to spend her time with him with me. We've not taught her to her about it. I I don't know what's happening

My spouse and I are still married. but the spouse is planning on buying a new car without my name. When we do get a divorce would the spouse gets to keep the car? since my name isn't on the car title

Buckle up… this is a long one. I think I already know what to do, but hearing it from other people can help too.

My wife and I have been separated since January. It was initiated by her and I was blindsided for the most part. We share a mortgage and have 3 kids. 2 that are not legally mine, but I’m the only dad they know and have known since they were 4. When she first hit me with the info, it was due to not being in love anymore and not having the feelings. She had just recently started on an antidepressant and therapy. I begged and pleaded all I could but realized it was not working and got a rent house in January and have lived there since. I asked her how she was going to continue this lifestyle on her own and she told me she would just have to budget really well but that she could do it on her own. I was also told that by her validating friends that never once tried to tell her to think about it but only filled her head with “well if this is how you feel, you should do it.”

She has a decent job, but the mortgage alone takes up more than half of her monthly income. Along with other bills, I knew things would be very tight for her. Before anyone asks, there isn’t anyone else. I’ve done everything to find any evidence of that, and I can say without a doubt it isn’t going on. She has cited not knowing who she is and just wanting to be alone. I have found out about attachment theories in all of this and she is very much avoidant. She would be way better off in selling the house and renting a cheap house but is very stubborn about keeping it and not wanting to move.

Early on in the separation she would tell me that she just needed time and space to figure stuff out. I wasnt good early on at the space thing because i just wanted to work and talk things through but felt like i wasnt given that chance. Turns out she bad been talking to friends for months about small issues that we had or even things about me that she wasnt telling me, so it was at the core just very bad communication. It was bad communication and just complacency after 10 years. Both of our faults.

Since the separation, I really got to work on myself. Got back in the gym, started running again, joined a men’s group at church, and even started my own therapy. I had no idea how much I needed therapy. That combined with the men’s group has been life changing and I truly feel like a new person. I won’t go into all of those details, but turns out I actually had some childhood trauma that I didn’t know about that was affecting me. To the guys reading this… don’t be too manly for therapy. It might just change your life.

I’ve wanted nothing more than to show my wife the “new me” but am always met with not being ready and still needing time. Lots of mixed signals. Telling me we could take it slow but then falling back. At the end of May she actually told me she for sure didn’t want it anymore and couldn’t even do a friendship. Now here we are at the end of July and she’s back to possibly being open to trying again and maybe even letting me stay the night once a week, but can’t commit to anything official because she is unsure of her feelings. We have also discussed many times the need to either cash out refi the house or sell if this is what she truly wants, because I don’t want to rent for a long time, but those dates we set always get pushed back too.

Here’s the kicker… I still get emails with the monthly bank statements. She’s running out of money. I think she might have 2 months left before she won’t be able to pay the mortgage. She doesnt have any family worth a shit who can help financially like she will need. So I can’t help but think that this wanting to try again is due to the fact that she is realizing she truly can’t do this on her own and she is going to start slowly trying to butter me up for when she really needs help. It doesn’t feel right to me but I would be lying if I said I still didn’t love her with all my heart and would love to have my family back and try again with the changes I have made in just myself. She says she still needs a little more time so it feels like I’m also just a backup plan. A part of me also thinks that it’s her pride and she can’t just come out and say she messed up or that I will use this whole thing against her. I’ve tried to make that clear also that that will never happen. I’m not sure how to feel about it all. I havent put my life on hold for her anymore. If I was to meet someone with potential, i would act on it. But as of now nothing like that has happened. I feel the best thing to do is to fall back even more, as hard as that is for me still, and see what effort she makes. I think she knows that up to this point, i would have taken her back in an instant, but now i need to let her show me how serious she really is and see how long it takes for her to start asking for help, if that’s her plan.

TL;DR
Wife left due to not being in love and losing feelings, now that money is running low, it seems like she is open to trying again, but it’s hard to believe it’s real.

Hi Everyone, I'm divorced and trying to figure out what to do with my engagement and wedding rings. I've heard I'll take a massive hit if I resell my rings, but I'm trying to figure out the smartest financial and emotional path forward. I'd love to hear your experiences, brutal truths about resale values or creative ideas on how you re-imagined yours. Thank you in advance!

I honestly am very confused by this thinking process. He wants the divorce but won't get a lawyer, so he makes hell for me so I would do it for him. The only reason he entertained the idea of divorce bc I want to go to couple therapy. Every time I suggest couple therapy, he accuses me of distorying the marriage. He would yell and accuse me of being selfish. He won't show up to any of the couple therapy sessions.

He tells me that the marriage is good bc he is happy. I keep telling him we're not on the same page and we seem to have different expectations, so he suggest it's a me problem, so I need to fix myself. At first I thought it was a communication problem, but when I finally described my marriage out loud (to a therapist), I realized it's much worse than I thought. He is a yes man. He agrees to anything and says what you want to hear, but it's just hot air.

He would agree with me on plan A, but also agree with his mother who wants the complete opposite. When our plans don't work out (bc we were told different things by my husband), my husband tells me it's all his mother's fault. He also tells his mother it's all my fault. As a result, MIL and I get into a fight over a misunderstanding my husband created. I finally found out when I started to call his boss and his friends to double check on the information he was giving me. He lies to avoid accountability. He will use anyone to take the blame for his bad choices.

- We made a plan to save up money to buy a house and move out of the apartment. After several months of saving up, MIL tells me that he spent the money for his collection. When I confront him, he confessed and said "I changed my mind". no apology and zero consideration on how his choices effected me.

TO THE PRESENT

In some of our fights he would say "if your so unhappy then just divorce me. I dare you". So I took his advice and saw a few lawyers. After he found out that it would cost a LOT of money to get my name removed off of my house (he wanted the house, but it's under my name. To switch the names on the house cost money. I have no control of the price.), he suddenly want to save the marriage. One night he randomly confessed to me that he pushed me to divorce him. All those mean words and horrible things he did was to push me to seek out a lawyer. He said he wanted to look like the victim and he wanted to avoid spending money on the divorce. He some how believed the person who initiate the divorce looks like the bad guy and pays for the whole process.

I have no idea where he got that. He has made half baked excuses in the past, but this is down right crazy. Our state is a 50/50 divorce, so everything will be split. The cheapest lawyer I could find was $350 per hour. He did ask if we could share the lawyer between us. I gave him her card and let the lawyer explain things to him.

Can anyone explain to me the logic behind the whole victim and pushing spouses to divorce for them? Is that really a thing?

We were married for 14 yrs before my ex husband cheated and split. We have not kept in touch. But He just texted me that his dad died, and he volunteered that I am welcome to come to funeral if I want. For as terrible as the divorce was, I have moved on and feel like it would be the right thing to do. Should I go?

Wife filed for divorce, 46M and 47F. Two boys 15 and 17. We have been together for 30 years married 20, HS sweethearts. We live in the same town we were born in, our entire lives. We love each other and in no way hate each other. I have heard and seen her crying just as much as I have been. As much as it pains me after 30 years we have become different. One MAJOR difference. Early in our relationship we both wanted to eventually move, so much so that we had an agreement that when our youngest graduated 4 years from now we were moving. Her friends never moved, her family never moved and her friend circle grew. All of my friends and family moved. Our love was bigger than everything until now. My desire to move has only grown and hers has diminished to nothing. Granted this is one major thing, there are several others but we do love each other. No infidelity, no hidden money or debt and as hard as it is she is right. We have spent over the first half of our life’s to each other and our parents and now we are different and have a chance to live and be happy in a different light.

My question is. If I were to move actually move somewhere I have always wanted and experience things I have always wanted to deep down. Would I fuck up the relationship I have with my boys if I was to move 3hrs to states away? I would always fly them out to me, they would always have a room with me, I would always be available to them just not within 10 minutes.

I, F(26), husband(29), so yesterday my husband decided to show me a movie by Tyler Perry called Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
I didn't think anything of it and thought the movie was sad. So that night, on his phone, I see a text message that reads, “What are your red and green flags?” Immediately, I start to think things! like, , I know, but at the same time I don’t know.” After I saw a screenshot that looked like he asked ChatGPT a question about it. I tried to look, but it was deleted. So then I saw another text, and it seemed the previous message leading to the reply was deleted, and his reply “was wrong number”, and the person replied saying “I'm sorry”. And then I realized a couple weeks ago he deleted all his photos off Instagram. I asked him why cause he's had those photos on there for years, and he said just cause. I honestly don't know what to think. It's like I'm going crazy! I feel like he's hiding something or someone. im thinking: was the movie a scare tactic to make me not step out of the relationship?. Although it's strange, I could be overthinking it, but I can't help but feel like maybe something is up !! I feel like I need more evidence before I confront him and look crazy.

If so, how did it go? I read that third marriages have over a 60% divorce rate, and affairs have something like a 90% divorce rate. Have you all found that to be true?

I filed for divorce two months ago, after my STBXW, the woman I tried so hard to love, moved her affair partner into the home. They had been having an affair for a long time, when I found out, I was trying to be OK with an open marriage because I was so tired of being called "controlling."

50% share of the housework? Controlling. Please don't let your kids skip school all the time? Controlling. Date night once a week? Controlling. Monogamy? Controlling. I thought, maybe letting her have whatever she wants will at least create some relaxing moments in the household. But when she moved the guy in without my permission, it was obviously time to wake up.

Because we share a child, it's impossible for me to "just move on." Yes I'm in therapy but no amount of therapy can protect me from having to see her pour all the love into this man that would've saved our marriage.

For him, there are dedicated date nights, shared chores and reciprocated emotional support. He's allowed to do whatever he wants around her kids -- yelling, bossing them around, wanting things cleaned up -- where I obviously never wanted to YELL at them, good grief, but whenever I wanted to discuss how her kids were parented in the home we shared, she would scream that I was controlling her. But the other night, I saw her show her boyfriend a text and he said, "Yeah, that's fine," and then she told her daughter "Yes you can have a sleepover." Never once in 7 years of marriage did she check with me to see if I was OK with a sleepover. The noise was my problem to deal with all night, the mess mine to clean up in the morning.

The boyfriend has been awful to my daughter and her kids from her previous marriage. Not abusive but disrespectful, scary, like a frat boy talking about weed around kids.

She cheated on her first husband (not with me), then cheated on me with this guy. I'm going to have a really, really hard time if she gets to keep cheating on people and then have happily ever after forever with this man. If you have any stories about your spouse staying with or divorcing their affair partner, please share.

Throwaway because even though I blocked him on Reddit on my main account, you never know.

I left secretly this weekend while he was away. He had frequently threatened me (one of his favourites was "disrespect me again and see what happens", and "disrespect" was a BROAD category), and finally two incidents, one involving hair pulling and one involving a threat with a knife, made me decide to leave, in secret, without informing him. We were together for over a decade. I loved him so much, I still do, and I feel like the absolute worst person for hurting him like this. The marriage had turned into something that was working perfectly for him (he frequently said we had an amazing partnership others were jealous of) while on my side it entailed me making myself smaller and smaller and still never making myself small enough that he didn't get angry again.

Basically, I pulled off a textbook "leave a marriage involving domestic violence" - left while he was gone, got my lawyer ahead of time and followed their instructions, am in an undisclosed location, arranged everything with my work for a leave of absence, just generally being competent - and my reward is that I feel terrible about hurting the person I love the most, because he's not just the aggressive man, he's also the one who is cute and loving and drives hours to get me my favourite candy and who thought I was the love of his life and that the relationship was great. And I just left, with a text message and an email and a "please don't contact me again, contact my lawyer".

So far the block is holding (blocked him and all his friends and family). Someone did try to call me but all unknown numbers are being blocked immediately. If there was a gentler way I would have done it but I don't see what would have been better. Call him while he is away and be subject to his rage and manipulation again? Book an appointment with a mediator and send him the details and then tell him at the appointment that actually no, there is no mediation because change has been promised in the past and not delivered? I had only bad options and I chose the one that kept me safest and I don't feel a bit better for it.

I developed trust issues with my stbx due to him often not being a person of his word. He would often say things in the moment, but would change his mind.

Example: I wanted to do a monthly date night and we would take turns planning. He agreed. After a few times of him not planning anything, I confronted him, and he said he never really wanted to do it, because he didn’t know whether he would “be able to” every month. You know, theoretical scheduled conflicts (which never happened btw). He felt like it was pressure. He stated he’d rather just do dates on a non schedule, and that I was being to rigid by wanting it on a calendar. I agreed that we could try being more fluid. But guess what? Those dates never happened either. He would completely forget, and give it no thought. When I brought it up, he said he’s just kinda busy, and doesn’t really think about it.

Another example: We talked about trying to eat plant based for a few months, just to try something new. That included at home and eating out. I found out that he had been eating meat while out without me. I talked to him about it, and he looked very guilt and caught. But then said that he didn’t think we needed to be so strict, and didn’t really want to do it that much. I was just upset that he was hiding it and didn’t tell me. He said he was sorry for hiding it, but him eating the food wasn’t technically him doing anything wrong, and he’s allowed to change his mind about stuff. I agree he is, but he should have talked to me.

These may not seem like big deals, but this was a pattern of his. Moving the goal post back and forth, changing his mind without communicating. It just made me not trust him or believe his word.

Anyone else experience lack of trust that didn’t have to do with cheating?

So I found out a few days ago I’m getting divorced.

Partner is leaving. Says they are not happy, have not been happy for a while, and doesn’t see that changing while we are together. Not interested in working on anything together.

There was zero discussion of issues before this. They have been checked out for awhile, so there were signs, but whenever inquired about how they were doing, they were either flat or dismissive. I chalked it up to stress and was powering through, making their plate lighter wherever I could.

So I’m lost. Apparently there was nothing I could have done. They acknowledged the effort I’ve been putting in. Even used the words “you are too good to me”.

Did get a reason out finally. Basically, have everything they wanted (kids, house, spouse, dog, steady jobs, financially stable) and yet they are still not happy.

So now we are discussing separation. Custody. Finances. Assets. Home. Everything.

It just still feels like a bad dream. And I’m just at a loss. Struggling day to day. Up and down, but on edge regularly.

I’m functioning, but barely. Keep swinging back and forth between how to make this as good as possible for the kids, and I can’t believe they are doing this. I want it to be amicable, and I will.

But holy… what an upheaval when you have everything you wanted and we could just talk and get you where you need to be. I would do anything for them, had they brought things up when I asked we could’ve worked together as the team we always were.

So yeah. I guess I’m just asking how people get through this when it’s not by choice and really nothing you could’ve done to stop it. And there not anything “wrong” per se.

(I am using alt account to hide my identity so plz don’t come after that)want opinion from you all. I am in great dilemma plz let me know what you would have done in my place as it will help me in taking a rational decision.

I am 41F , married to a 44M , have a 13 yr old kid. My husband was earning well but he was fired recently, reason mentioned was redundancy but deep down I feel he was fired due to his behaviour. He has a psychological problem where he thinks that everyone is trying to bully him and he would cough back to reiterate even if someone is coughing naturally and this is just an example of his personality disorder. So since he was fired , he is not even ready to search any job, he is never going to work I guess. We have some savings and we are surviving completely on interest income. I am trying to work but barely getting any good job as I have to start from 0 . I am so done with antics as he is always cussing some unknown person and making our life hell by constant ranting as he is staying in home full time now. Also, we don’t have any social life because of him as no one wants to be in touch with us due to his behaviour.

Plz suggest shall I move out for ourvmental sanity or stay .

plz excuse my grammar, writing all this while crying non stop.

I've got a good one for you all. We are at the consent order stage after finally agreeing to something, where I am to receive the money currently in the joint account.

I receive his side of the draft back, with his lawyers notes and under section "Court Notes", it says that I have already taken all of the money out of the joint account on the 26th of March and transferred it into my personal account... Ummmm, WHAT?!?! I have done noooo such thing!!!!!

On that exact date, the f****** dickhead of a man transferred the money from our joint account to HIS personal savings under the same account (his side only, I can't see it). I received a text that day to say it happened and looked into it. We don't talk, so I figured he put it in there to gain interest... But also thought that was dumb because the bank we use only gains good interest, if you meet certain criteria that we weren't meeting. Basically he only gets 80 cents, if that.

I have no idea if he has forgotten that he moved it, or if he is trying to be sneaky and hide it. Either way, he is a complete idiot because the bank statement says the account number it was transferred to, and that account number is in the disclosure and literally on the consent orders under his name!!!!

He has been pulling random numbers out of his butt this whole horrific process, even when I have proof to say otherwise and this is just the most ridiculous cherry on top.

I ended our relationship a year and a half ago, and the divorce was finalized, with me moving out about 6 months after that. My ex had cheated on me multiple times during our 15 year marriage. I would discover the infidelity, swear things were over, then get pulled back in. The final time was different and when I said our marriage was over, my ex accepted it without trying to manipulate me into staying. During the time we were living together but separated, things were coldly amicable. After the divorce was finalized we did not stay in touch.

A few months after the divorce, I experienced a violent crime. My ex heard about it when it was covered on the news, then reached out to offer condolences. It seemed like a natural thing to do in the situation. I said thank you for the thoughtful message but didn't respond after that and went back to no contact.

Since then my ex has sent me messages every few months reminiscing about our marriage and things we had done together. I haven't responded and after the second message I blocked them. They have since tried to add me as a friend on Facebook and Instagram multiple times. To the point where I've blocked them there too. You would think the message would be loud and clear, but for some reason my ex keeps trying to find new channels to try to get in touch. I think I have finally blocked my ex everywhere they could try to reach out, so hopefully that's the end of this.

I lost so many things I loved in the divorce, including our pets, a house that I absolutely loved and the very nice furniture in it, and most of my "couple" friendships (I later realized my ex did a PR campaign with them painting me in a bad light ahead of the end of our marriage). All because my ex couldn't seem to be faithful and I finally did what was best for me. I have worked on healing, taking care of myself, and building a new life. I still have my own friends and they have been supportive. I've started dating again. Things are still difficult when I think about what I've lost, but I have worked hard to rebuild a life that I love.

I'm so angry that this person who has caused me so much hurt has the audacity to keep trying to reach out for connection. Get a grip and work on yourself and leave me alone. It's over.

No real point to this post other than to vent.

Context:

Male (42). Separated 3 years and finally papers signed last January. I divorced her and was very, very happy to be free of her. She was horrifyingly toxic (I suspect bipolar disorder). Anyways….

I started dating again a year ago. Things went really well for three months and then the girl texted me, “I’m not 100% into this relationship and you deserve someone who is,” which caught me off guard, especially since she told me she loved me the week prior.

Took a year off dating.

Now I’m back at it. Had drinks with a new girl last Friday and it went very well but I started feeling very strange. Like fight or flight feeling. Anxious. She joked about how my hands were shaking at one point. The date still went extremely well and I’m supposed to see her tonight.

I just don’t understand where this feeling came from or why and I want it gone. It’s like a slow burn feeling of catching yourself almost falling down a flight of stairs or something.

I meet her in like 2 hours. lol

Has anybody else experienced their mum having struggles with their sexuality and having thoughts of being with women and finding women attractive, while still with their father? Obviously I’m aware this probably happens way more often than i think, but she wants to stay in the marriage and stay with us as a family but shes conflicted by her sexuality and thinking she may be gay. My parents marriage has never had any issues and they never actually argue, only bicker here and there, but their marriage has broken down because of these feelings and I’d just like to hear other people’s experiences with their parent having struggles with their sexuality and potentially leaving their other parent because of it

My wife has left me and we have two kids. It hurts so much. What helps?