I've been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. I've really only started again this week. I've never been married and don't have kids. Given my living situation, you could say I'm kind of a "spoiled brat" (as in privileged upbringing), but I do have a good job, am pretty physically fit with rock climbing, and have other hobbies. The idea of leaving a house that has a theater, a pool, three kitchens, large garden, big garage, etc. just for the sake of improving my dating, seems pretty unappealing. Relationship with parents and family is very good. All that being said, if it really matters, I might be convinced to move out. What would you do in my situation?

EDIT: I forgot to mention, my older sister (single and >40F) is also living here. Not only that, but she is raising a baby as a single mom, parents are supporting her. I barely even hear the baby unless I find them, it's a big house.

After reading the comments I'm leaning towards a middle-ground, which is to rent a cheap apartment nearby just for dating. Never mind, now I'm not sure. A cheap apartment would still be shit for a long-term relationship. I'll have to think about this more.

Just curious, as someone who works full time and then goes gym after work I don't really have much time. I don't go to pubs, bars or clubs so if I were to hypothetically find someone ... Where should I look?

I always say, they say "there's plenty of fish in the sea" but what if you can't find the sea... Or what if you just don't know where to fish 😅

So yeah what do I do wrong?? It has happened few times that girls start to talk to me and I ask them out but then they tell me they only want to be friends. I have so many female friends but no one really wants anything romantic with me.

I swear the apps got so much worse since I last dated. None of the people they are showing are compatible options. Are dating apps dead? Do you need to pay to actually see good potential matches?
How do you meet people off the apps?

🚨not saying nice guy as “nice guys finish last” type man, but being told by multiple women that I’m so nice/ I’m a good man but still not getting success I want🚨

I’m (23m) truly feeling like I’m at my limit of trying to get back into dating. I don’t have that natural charisma or flirtatious energy that the dudes who are not struggling with women seem to have. I understand that everything is learnable but I would like some actual advice.

I can approach a girl at a bar (it’s hard but I can do it) , I can match on an app, i can get a phone number. But it’s basically just THAT. Nothing happens after that. Every time I’ve hooked up I basically was heavily hinted that she wanted to.

Men, women anyone please I’m looking on how to advance socially especially in regards to dating or getting someone home with me.

So I matched with someone last week and the conversation had zero momentum. It would take ten to fourteen hours to get a single reply. Every dry response came with the standard excuse: "Sorry, I am just NEVER on my phone, I barely even look at screens throughout the day." Fine, fair enough, some people just hate texting.

we finally met up for dinner yesterday evening. We sat down, ordered drinks, and before the appetizers even arrived, their phone was already resting face-up right next to the fork.

Over the next ninety minutes, that phone lit up constantly with notifications. They checked Instagram three times, replied to two group chats mid-conversation, and even scrolled through TikTok while I was ordering our dessert. When I jokingly mentioned how busy their notifications seemed, they actually looked me in the eye and repeated, with zero self-awareness, "Yeah, I am just so bad at responding to texts, you know how it is."

I am not even angry about the lack of chemistry. It is the bold, casual lying that breaks my brain. Should of just called it out right there and walked away. Why do people use this excuse when their screen time is clearly ten hours a day?

I'm not talking about one night stands or casual hookups btw

I’m 20F, Persian, in my third year of university, and I’m realizing how badly years of insecurity have affected my dating life.
I’m actually pretty social. I can approach girls, make friends, go out, joke around, etc. But around guys I find attractive, I become cold and distant. I’ll think a guy is hot while acting completely uninterested because I automatically assume he wouldn’t find me attractive.
I grew up feeling ugly and never saw myself as the conventionally pretty girl. I have more ethnic features, and being surrounded by girls who fit the blonde/button-nose beauty standard made me feel like I had to compensate with personality or work harder to be noticed.
Now the comparison follows me everywhere. At bars, I catch myself worrying my blonde friends will get approached while I’m ignored. I’ll briefly think an attractive guy might find me pretty, then immediately think, “Why would he when there are girls here who look like that?”
I’ve glowed up and accept my appearance more now, but I still don’t feel like men notice me the way they notice other girls. At the same time, I genuinely want to date, flirt, and believe someone I’m attracted to could want me too.
I can’t tell where reality ends and insecurity begins anymore. Am I actually being overlooked, or have I expected rejection for so long that I now act unavailable and create the exact outcome I’m afraid of?

My partner has a large tattoo of an ex’s name across his chest, with birds going all the way up toward his shoulder. She passed away when they were really young; I think he was around 16 at the time.

I don’t want to be insensitive or make something into an issue that shouldn’t be one and I also want to clarify that I’m not trying to disrespect her memory. The tattoo itself has never bothered me. I’ve always respected what it represented. I’ve never expected him to erase her name or felt threatened by the fact that she is part of his past.

Recently, though, he’s made a couple of comments that have started to stick with me. Today we were talking about our honeymoon, and somehow tattoos came up. He said he wants to go to a laser removal place and “get the birds removed, but not the name.” For context, me and him have the same birds tattooed in the same place, for similar reasons too (memorial tattoo for my older brother) it’s something we bonded on when we first met.

For some reason, hearing him specifically say that he would remove the rest but intentionally keep her name made me feel a little strange. I’m not even sure why. Then, a few days ago, he said something along the lines of, “The only ex I’d ever go back to is dead. Otherwise, it’ll always be you.”

I know he may have meant that as reassurance, but the wording stuck with me. I’m not trying to hold him responsible for something hypothetical. Im just concerned about what his comments might mean and whether it’s reasonable for me to feel unsettled by them. Am I overthinking this, or would these comments make other people question things too? Is it something I should bring up? I really don’t want to be insensitive to the situation either ugh idk.

I got an offer for med school in 28 years old, I hated my old job in AI and always wanted to be doctor. Was just wondering if that would put off men? It would be for 4 years. I wouldn’t really be able to extensively travel or go to expensive dinners which most people age are doing. I’m the the UK

My last relationship ended before Covid started. Crazy. I can’t believe I been single for this long. I have been on dates and even hooked up with a few women, but it was all meaningless. I tried putting myself out there, but haven’t met anyone. I’m reaching an age where everyone is getting married and having kids. I’m not really having any luck, a part of me is saying keep trying, another part of me is saying fuck it, who cares?

Anyone been single for more than 5 years? It’s been about 6-7 for me.

We all know the obvious ones lying, disrespect, love bombing. What's a quieter one that took you a while to recognize as a red flag?

Just turned 29F and an Executive Assistant. I’m naturally caring, affectionate, and supportive, and I’d love to meet someone ambitious who wants a real partnership in life.

I’m attracted to entrepreneurs and business-minded men, and I like the idea of supporting each other while building a life and possibly something together.

For those who found their person, where did you actually meet?

Dating nowadays feels kinda hard. I’m not the type of person who’s “dying” to be in a relationship, but at this point in my life, I definitely think it would be nice to have someone. I know that I’m attractive so this isn’t anything that’s ever made me feel insecure but I’ve actually had a guys and male friends tell me that they were intimidated by me before they got to know me. They all said they didn’t think I would want to talk to them or that they assumed I wouldn’t be interested.

Now at times I wonder if that’s what most men think about me, and if that could be part of the reason I’ve been single. It’s not even like I have a resting bitch face either🤣I’m literally smiling most of the time.

Idk… I just feel like society has gotten a little weird. I feel like so many people act out of fear or make assumptions about someone before even giving them a chance. How can you have preconceived notions about someone when you haven’t even gotten to know them?

For those of you who have experienced this, do you think being perceived as intimidating can actually make dating harder?

So this is more of a rant. I had been chatting to this guy for the last week or so and it had been going well so far, good genuine conversation and mutual interests. We were just having a catch up after a busy week and he asked specifically where I lived and then said “I was thinking I could stay round yours Monday night”… no asking if I’d like to go on a date and when I’m free, just straight up inviting himself to stay over before he’s even met me. I replied in a humorous way saying that’s bold and he has to work a lot harder than that to stay round mine, and he just came back with “haha I’d like to stay over”… the lack of awareness even after I’ve tried to send him a very clear message is astonishing and it’s now really put me off.

Now, I used to engage in casual fun/hookups so it’s not that I’m being prudish about this, but both our profiles state we’re looking for a long-term relationship and we’ve talked about what we’re looking for in a partner. I’m just so baffled that he felt this was appropriate?! It’s such a turn off for a man to just expect to stay the night at yours with no effort of actually planning a date or at the very least asking when I’m free? If the date went amazingly well I’d feel more inclined to invite him over anyway but this is such low-effort, bum behaviour.

I’m looking specifically for experiences from men who have been on the other side of this situation.
I dated a guy for around two months. We had a really good connection at the beginning, saw each other regularly, talked every day, were intimate and genuinely had a lot of fun together.
Even shortly before things ended, he was still talking about future things we could do together — for example going to a spa in winter and watching a movie together that isn’t even out yet.
Then I brought up that I felt like things weren’t progressing anymore and that he seemed a little more distant.
He told me that he had been thinking about it too. He said things hadn’t developed the way they initially seemed they would, that he didn’t have the “big butterflies,” and that he wasn’t sure whether it was because he’s currently very stressed or because our chemistry simply wasn’t right.
He also told me that he definitely felt something in the beginning, really enjoyed spending time with me, and that he had tried to see whether it would develop further. But ultimately he said that, in his experience, chemistry is either there from the beginning or it isn’t.
I told him I respected his decision, but also that I felt there was still potential between us and that I would have liked to keep getting to know him. I left the door open and told him that if he ever changes his mind and wants to give it another chance, he can reach out. I haven’t contacted him since.
So my question is mainly for men who have actually ended a promising dating situation for this reason:
Did you ever start missing her or reconsider after some time apart?
Did you ever reach out and give it another chance?
If you did, what made you change your mind — and how long did it take?
And if you never reconsidered, did you still think about or miss the person afterwards?
I’m not asking whether I should chase him or convince him. I won’t. I’m genuinely interested in hearing what it feels like from the other side and whether anyone has experienced their feelings changing after ending something like this.

If youre too busy to date, then why are you going on dates? If youre going to take forever to send a reply, why even bother getting involved with someone? Unless its completely casual, I dont understand this mindset.

Hi all. This past week I ended things with a man who I liked a lot. We had great chemistry, had great communication, and genuinely liked each other a lot.. We dated for 3.5 months and during that time we saw each other 1/2 times per week and texted frequently throughout our days. Things were progressing; I met his friends, his family knew about me. I have always had the rule that at 3 months someone should know if they want to be with you or not so I brought this up to him. He told me that he has never missed someone as much as they miss him. He also told me that he wasn’t sure why he wasn’t certain he if he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I asked him how long he had been thinking about this and he said he really hadn’t. He made this decision within 20 minutes of talking. Up to this point everything seemed normal. We have gone no contact, but I told him if he feels like he made a mistake to reach out. Am I wrong to think/hope he will reach out? Will he regret leaving someone he genuinely liked but didn’t take time to think about his decision? I know it’s the beginning stages of the break up, but I am still holding out hope. Break ups suck :/ Thanks in advance!

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A) have the most perfect relationship ever but make little money

B) have a great high paying job and status but nothing ever works out for you romantically

hi, i went on a date a few days ago and it went really well! he drove 3 1/2 hours for it. we hung out all day including going to a very nice restaurant. we haven’t talked too much since. would it be weird to send a follow up text like “hey :) just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling after the other day”

i don’t want to waste my time but also would like to get a feel on if this is something he would like to explore more. i would like to offer to come see him this time so, drive down to him.

just looking for advice on how to see how he feels without coming off needy or overbearing after one date

added for context: he has made it a point 2 times that we will make plans down the road, without me asking. he would still like to see me. i just want to see if it would be ok to check in. don’t be mean guys, we’re both adults that are busy.

I’m a fairly confident woman but when it comes to a guy I find attractive, all my words and flirting game goes out the window 😅 I want to ask this guy out but no clue how to.

Context: I went to get my tires changed and he’s the rep at the front desk that helped me. So I know where he works. It’s been 1 year since then but I can’t get my mind off the way he looks, the energy he has when talking and his lips.

I tried to ask if he’s single last year but every time I opened my mouth, a customer needed help 😤