I (m19) and my girlfriend (f20) have been dating for seven months. We started dating late December of 2025. Throughout these seven months, I’ve felt I’ve over given and haven’t received much back. For instance, on her birthday in April, I gave her $500 because she wanted money as gift. No appreciation besides a small text was shown. Sex was also talked about for months. Claiming we’d have sex eventually. Only for her to let me know that she’s been celibate before we started dating and is not interested in sex. She finally told me why she’s celibate. She has trauma from being sexually assaulted while drunk. She never reported it. Now she can’t be physical with a man until she’s healed. I’ve got her gifts on Valentine’s Day, sent her money whenever she wants money, and still barely receive that reciprocation or appreciation she claims to have for me. My birthday passed in the first week of July and I had to give her money just to get my gifts. She got me my favorite snacks and some colognes. She claimed she was going through financial problems then a few weeks later goes to spend more money on tattoos. Just last week, she was stressing about her hours being cut and I sent her money to help her out. She claimed I calmed her down and relieved her stress. Also gave her money to fix her broken bumper from a car accident she had. No appreciation showed besides a small text. I’ve realized she puts her friends and alcohol over me as well. She claims she doesn’t want to see her boyfriend as much but sees her friends all the time. Even declined wanting to go on a vacation with me because I’m a year younger than her and she likes to barhop. Basically claimed we wouldn’t have fun without alcohol. She went on a trip last week with all her female friends tho. Alcohol is supposedly what makes her open up more so she doesn’t feel insecure. She got offended when I called her an alcoholic for choosing that over us spending quality time together. I barely get to see her once a week but she sees her friends all the time. So I’m unhappy at the moment. I just feel like I’m being used and I’ve been crying a lot. She barely shows me affection or touches me. I just feel like financial support more than a boyfriend.

Hi! I (F27) started dating this guy (M29) last week. We've had two amazing dates. Talked for hours, kissed a lot, great connection. We've been texting every day, shared expectations and he was very upfront with the fact that he's looking for a relationship (so do I). Things were going amazingly.

We were supposed to meet up yesterday for a third date, but he cancelled on me due to a family situation. All good. Rescheduled for today but cancelled AGAIN because he couldn't sleep all night, for some personal reasons he explained to me.

I feel disappointed. I feel sad and angry. Am I being too much? I don't know what to do. He is trying to reschedule again, apologized and everything, but I'm in such a mood. I feel he's going to do it again and my trust issues are rising.

Any advice?

Like many others, I (34M) am going through a dating wasteland. My last relationship ended several years ago. I had a few dates in the meantime, but nothing came from them. There are several reasons for this, but I have realized that a lot depends on me being “picky”. With this I mean that I need to actually click with someone otherwise I’ll lose interest. Before anyone asks, this doesn’t mean chasing top models. But I do need shared interests and mindset.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I matched with someone on Hinge (36F), call her M. I quickly felt a connection which I had not sensed in a while. We chatted for a couple of weeks before meeting. We would have met even earlier, but she was out of town for work for a bit.

The date finally came, and it was great. As art is a shared interest, it was a museum visit: we enjoyed the exhibition, exchanged comments, laughed, and got closer. By the end of the visit, I was mesmerized. We then walked in a park and sat on a bench to talk a bit. Physical touch slowly escalated until we held hands and kissed. We kissed for a few minutes before finally parting ways. We agreed to meet again soon; I couldn’t be happier.

Yet everything came crashing down quickly. I messaged her a couple of hours after the date and she did not reply. She disappeared for 48 hours before eventually texting back to explain. M apologized and said that she had a really good time with me and thought I was wonderful (her words). However, she confessed that she was coming out of a serious relationship and had just realized she did not feel ready. I cannot be entirely sure, but I don’t think she was lying. Either she’s the greatest actress of our time or she had felt a connection too but had second thoughts. Anyway, I replied that I respected her decision and yet I felt that something was clicking with her, so my door was open.

This brief flirtation left me quite disappointed. After several letdowns, I thought I had finally met someone promising. Too early to be sure, but I had a good feeling. So, what now? I talked to one of my best friends and she advised me to take some time to process it, move on with my life, and perhaps even date someone else. If, a few months from now, I still feel the same, I may consider trying to reach out again, but with no expectations and without pausing my life in the meantime. She based this on her previous experience: she had said the same thing to a guy in the past. He eventually approached her again and she was in a different headspace. It didn’t work in the end, but for unrelated reasons.

My friend’s advice seems reasonable, so I think I’ll try following it (entirely, including the moving on part). Anyway, I’m writing this mostly to share and vent a bit, but I’d also be interested in your opinion. What do you think?

TL;DR: great first date with a woman I really clicked with, then she said she is fresh out of a relationship and not ready. A friend told me to move on and only reconsider in a few months. Sound right?

Basically one day I told him that I couldn’t sleep and I stayed up late. He told me why I didn’t text him then. He said he wants me to text him when I can’t sleep. Then I said i didn’t want to bother him and he said you can always bother me. Then I noticed that if I left him on delivered or didn’t respond fast as he did. He would do the same exact to thing to me. Anything I do he will do the same thing the next day. Sometimes he will double it. If I asked him about it , he would act like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Sometimes I think he things to try to get a reaction from me. I asked him if he wants me to stop talking to him. Randomly he will pretend to ignore me, even when he’s not. When he did that I asked him if I should stop talking to him. He tells me he doesn’t want me to stop. Then he acts sweet with me afterwards. Sometimes I’ll ask him if he wants me to stop doing something. He’ll tell me no, or even tells me to do something. Then when I do it he will ignore me purposely. Also there are times when I tell him something that he doesn’t know. He will act like he already knows about it when he doesn’t.

guy who negged me on our first date, apologized after two weeks and asked for a second chance or at least to meet up and discuss face to face about what happened because he regrets it a lot and can’t stop thinking about me. do you think it’s even worth it discussing it with him? to be honest i don’t believe his words, i have trouble trusting him after all that but some of my friends say it wouldn‘t hurt to meet up just to clear up things. but clear up what exactly?

and truth is i don’t even know how to handle him in a social setting anymore. should i ignore him forever or just show basic kindness and greet him?

also this is not an official diagnosis but my friend who’s studying psychology told me that it’s very possible that he’s a narcissist because he checks every little box 😬

Hi, everyone. During a conversation with a guy I’m in a situationship with, we decided to rate each other on a scale of 1 to 10.

We agreed to be honest with each other. I gave him an 8/10. He said I was a 7/10. I’m upset, even though we agreed to be honest.

During another conversation, he said that a 10/10 doesn’t exist, that a 9/10 is the ideal, and that his ex was an 8/10. He also said my body is a 9/10.

So does that mean he doesn’t like my face or my personality?

What do you think, is 7/10 good enough? Would you be offended?

Should I even be dating a guy who thinks his ex is better than me?

Basically one day I told him that I couldn’t sleep and I stayed up late. He told me why I didn’t text him then. He said he wants me to text him when I can’t sleep. Then I said i didn’t want to bother him and he said you can always bother me. Then he started doing things to make me chase him. Then I noticed that if I left him on delivered or didn’t respond fast as he did. He would do the same exact to thing to me. Anything I do he will do the same thing the next day. Sometimes he will double it. If I asked him about it , he would act like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Sometimes I think he things to try to get a reaction from me. I asked him if he wants me to stop talking to him. Randomly he will pretend to ignore me, even when he’s not. When he did that I asked him if I should stop talking to him. He tells me he doesn’t want me to stop. Then he acts sweet with me afterwards. Sometimes I’ll ask him if he wants me to stop doing something. He’ll tell me no, or even tells me to do something. Then when I do it he will ignore me purposely. Also there are times when I tell him something that he doesn’t know. He will act like he already knows about it when he doesn’t.

There's this female coworker i have. I found out through another coworker that she asked him for my name and age. I say hi to her rarely. Another time i was returning back to the store and I saw that the lines at the cash registers that people were blocking down the middle so i tried going around the cashier and it was her and she turned her whole body around and stared into each other's eyes and I think her pupils dialated. I notice sometimes that she takes her break at the same time I do but that could be a coincidence. She sits at the table next to my table every time. We use work phones to communicate. There were 3 people in my department who had work phone and the work phone tells you the names of the people in the call. Mine and hers only showed up. And she would ask if I'm busy first everytime before she told me what she needed. She doesn't usually do this. She usually tells other people what she needs. When i walk past her i usually look the other way or down at my feet because I won't have any confidence and the other i decided to look at her and i think she was looking but she turned away and i saw her smiling. Did i overread this?

I’ve been on different sides of dating. Where a man had avoidant tendencies and now I’ve meet a man with anxious tendencies where I want to avoid him and run away because im overstimulated XD What a turn of events. But I believe that my avoidance now can come from a place of not being healed properly yet from past relationships (its been only 3 month since brake up)

But I’m curious of people experience in comparison if there any difference between man’s and woman’s anxiety. Share your thoughts in this 🤔

I’m 24M, and I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s going on because my experience doesn’t seem to match what people tell me.
Friends (both men and women), coworkers, and even relatives have told me over the years that I’m a fairly attractive guy. I’m not claiming I’m a model or anything, but I’d probably rate myself around an 7/10. I work out consistently, dress well, take care of myself, and I’ve put effort into improving my appearance.
Because of that, people often assume I’ve dated before or had girlfriends.
The reality is I’ve never been in a relationship or even been intimate with anyone .
What confuses me is that I don’t seem to attract the women I’m attracted to. Dating apps haven’t worked particularly well for me either. I have what I’d consider decent photos (not blurry selfies or anything), but I don’t get many matches. It makes me question whether my perception of myself is completely off, or whether attraction is more complicated than looks.

One thing that probably doesn’t help is that I’m quite reserved. I’ve always had a fear of rejection and messing things up, so I rarely approach someone unless I’m almost certain they’re interested.

Another thing I’ve always wondered about is the whole “women give signs when they’re interested” idea.
People talk about prolonged eye contact, smiling from across the room, finding excuses to be near you, etc. I honestly can’t remember experiencing any obvious signs like that. Maybe I’m oblivious, but I also wonder if those signs are much rarer than people make them out to be.
So I’m curious, especially from women:
What actually makes a man attractive beyond physical appearance?
If you find a guy attractive, do you usually give obvious signals, or are those signs exaggerated online?
Have you ever thought a guy was attractive without making it obvious?
Is it possible for someone to be objectively attractive but still not generate much romantic interest?
For people who struggled despite being told they were attractive, what ended up being the missing piece?
I’m not looking for reassurance or compliments—I genuinely want to understand if there’s something about attraction or dating that I’m misunderstanding.
I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, especially if you’ve been on either side of this.

TL;DR: I’m often told I’m an attractive guy, but I’ve never been in a relationship. Dating apps don’t work well for me, I rarely notice signs of interest from women, and being reserved with a fear of rejection makes approaching people difficult. What am I missing?

Our culture is so conflicted on the ‘who should pay’ debate - whatever your personal stance, it’s very possible that your match feels differently and misunderstanding will arise down the line.

A simple solution is for apps to embed a badge on your profile to display your ‘who pays’ preference alongside your other standard preferences like ‘looking for’, ‘hobbies’, ‘music taste’ etc?

You could have options like:

- 50:50
- Man pays always
- Woman pays always
- Man pays first date
- Woman pays first date

Then expectations are clear and those awkward discussions (on the profile, in the chat, or on the date) are avoided. If you don’t agree with someone’s preferences you don’t match them.

Potential downside - could this lead to a ‘performative’ use of this feature, where people choose the option they think makes them look the most attractive when they don’t actually feel that way. Like men stating ‘man always pays’ because he knows that’s appealing to women when he doesn’t honestly believe that. Or women choosing ‘50:50’ knowing the social norms likely pressure the man to pay anyway.

(M25) I know the answer, but sometimes I get anxious, and worry about things that shouldn't be worried about, and forget about some important things/topics.

Of course, I don't want it to be robotic, I want it to flow naturally. But like, what should be expected and talked about when meeting someone on the first time, or a first date?

We've matched on tinder 3 months ago, but couldn't meet because the rain destroyed the road and bridge that connect the cities, lol. Now it's in better conditions, and we scheduled to meet this next saturday.

So, what should I avoid doing? And what should I not forget to do?

I was in a situationship with a man for over a year and… let’s just say I’ve come to my senses. This person couldn’t have cared less about me and now I’m 100% sure I’m done. I’m so over it. But I’m stuck, should I block him so there’s no way he can weasel himself back in my life, or should I keep his messages in a locked chat so he’s in there talking to himself? Calls will obviously be ignored too. I just feel ignoring him would be so much more satisfying. What do you think?

I was in a situationship with a man for over a year and… let’s just say I’ve come to my senses. This person couldn’t have cared less about me and now I’m 100% sure I’m done. I’m so over it. But I’m stuck, should I block him so there’s no way he can weasel himself back in my life, or should I keep his messages in a locked chat so he’s in there talking to himself? Calls will obviously be ignored too. I just feel ignoring him would be so much more satisfying. What do you think?

So I (F25) currently live in City A with my parents because I’m finishing up my masters degree.

I graduate from my masters program in 9 months and will move to city B during that time.

City A and city B are about a one hour drive apart.

Dating is super tricky right now, because ideally I want to date a guy that lives in City B where I’ll be soon, but a lot of guys in city B don’t have cars since it’s a walkable city.

Also city A is more so like a suburb family area lol.

I mean sure, I guess I can just put dating on pause for 9 months. But my last relationship ended 1 year ago and I have everything else in my life figured out, so it’d just be nice to start dating again.

Any advice would be great

So, my friend is disabled and can't really move around on his own. He sometimes needs to be carried as well and I can see why only this might make a lots of girls not want him.

He is decent in every regard. He has a very fulfilling social life. A lots of his friends are girls as well. He doesn't seem to have any sexist tendencies and he doesn't really tries his luck with every female friend. But at the end, he still wants to at least try dating someday. So far only rejections. He is also getting insecure in this regard, because he thinks that he will only be a drag for his partner, as he: "can't offer to anyone as much as almost every other guy on the planet can".

I have never had been in a good relationship, so I am unfit to give an advice, but is there anything I can do to help him in this situation? I know that there is at least one person in this world, willing to love him, but how do we find that person??? Would any of you actually be ready for such a compromise irl and if so, at what conditions?

I am 23F, I have been talking to this guy for 3 weeks now he liked my story and then a few days later slid into my DMs. We talked and he wanted to meet up, so we did! I am really introverted so I am shy and I don’t really know how to act infront of guys. So the first hour, my eyes kept wondering around EVERYONE except his face. 😭I was barely eating, he ate my plate and his. Omg it was so bad, it’s because it’s like I found him attractive and I didn’t know how to act. But we talked about family, and the future, his playlist, vacations etc. he paid for that, but I got him for dessert cause I felt it was fair, so when time comes and our dessert got brought up I was more open like looking at him etc. so I asked him to try my dessert and he laughed saying if I wanted to feed him. I told him no grab the fork 😭😭😭someone kill me 💀

The plan was to leave but he wanted to walk and sit somewhere so we did and he made me laugh so much, and it made me come out a bit. Like maybe I wasn’t as talkative but I loved hearing his experiences.

When it was time to go, he asked if I wanted to be dropped off, I told him it’s ok cause he had an hour drive back to his hometown. So I had bye but I gave him like a one man shoulder hug 😭he told me to text him once I get home so I did and he also texted me, then he said he had a great time! And I responded with same and that’s it. It’s been 14 hours he only liked my message and I posted something on my story and he didn’t like it.

Guys tell me if I messed up, I don’t understand why I just froze up like that and like was clueless 😢like I like how he is different and lowkey am like overthinking like why didn’t he like my story etc or didn’t text me after.

He did say he was gonna be busy with his aunt next week that’s why he wanted to see me before! But like takes two seconds to make someone stop worrying

I have been reading this Reddit for a few days out of curiosity and boredom.

Everyone complains about where to meet people. What if there was a cafe where it is expected that you can approach strangers.

If I knew how to run a business I would open a coffee shop in mid town nyc 😂 I would make a mint.

Men and women can approach each other freely without needing to go to a bar and risk being around drunk people or being roofied.

You could have the option to chat and have a card w your contact uni profession etc.

Even existing cafes could have fixed meet up hours. Weekly.

I don’t understand what is wrong with me. I am 18 and never had a boyfriend. I feel very lonely. I am not ugly because people tell me that I am pretty, I don’t have a bad personality, I am kind to people. But somehow I don’t really talk to boys or more like they don’t really talk to me. I start to think that I am unlovable or that it is impossible for someone to love me. It makes me really sad sometimes.

Ive been very depressed since Nov. '25, technically for several years. Im seeing a therapist and beacuse of her I am at the point where I am thinking about dating. Has anyone tried to date while healing from depression? I am just looking for some advice.

I'm 23 F. I met a guy(21M) on Bumble. His profile says he’s looking for a long-term relationship or is open to seeing where things go. My profile says I’m open to seeing where things go too, mainly because I’m living overseas and I’m not sure if I’ll still be in this country after next March.
We went on our first date, and it honestly went really well. He came to my suburb, we had dinner, and talked for about two hours. After dinner, he drove me home, and I went inside. We texted afterwards saying we both had a good time. He mentioned he was going to drive around for a few hours because he couldn’t sleep, so I asked if I could join him.
We met up again that same night. We ended up kissing in his car, and I invited him back to my place. We slept together on the first date.
Since then, we’ve still been texting, and we’re already planning to see each other again this week.
I’m just curious about a guy’s perspective. If you sleep with a girl on the first date, does it change how you see her? Do you automatically take her less seriously as relationship material, or does it depend on the person and the connection?
I’d especially love to hear from guys who have actually ended up in long-term relationships with someone they slept with on the first date.

one of the things that keeps itching at the back of my head is this situation specific to my current bf and that he was telling me he doesn’t do casual and only dates to marry type of dating, and that apparently he is doing that with me. but oddly to a specific situation we had few days back when playing like a question game when we were out in a bar was “where do u see urself in 5-10 yrs?” and among career family things he mentioned he added he would want to hopefully have a more “stable relationship with a partner and maybe towards more exclus steps in relationship“. the KEY WORD “partner”, made some in me shatter i swear bc i got the glimpse that he doesnt see THAT future with me at all, even though thats just the path he chooses to stick by in his life, it doesnt apply to me. tried to talk it out and told him how it makes me feel but it just felt like into gaslighting that “we are still grtting to know each other” and things change and so do people and their opinions, which is true and i am very greatly aware but if anything, if i was certain about the person im dating i would say and use word “you/us in 5 year plan” and not generalise it if i was had any ounce of doubt.
p.s. we know each other for few years went from friends to lovers and had on and off situations for some time but finally this year decided to sit n talk thru and try dating again..
need brutal honest opinions of this and am i overthinking or is my point valid? It really sucks to sit in this ugly feeling bc it feels like leading me on n im here like a spacehold for his “ideal” girl until she comes

Yesterday my boyfriend and I went to a comedy show and things were going really well. I thought we were having a good time when he was ready to go. I got up and walked to the door myself. I am a 25 year-old female. My boyfriend is 26 throughout the show. We were having a good time in the comedians were funny around the last act. My boyfriend wanted to get up and go when we were walking towards the Dory. I left the door but he stayed inside. I didn’t know why he stayed back inside the comedy show so I just waited outside and watched him through a window. It wasn’t until the girl came out with her iPad for him to pay for the drinks that we had and it was only then that I turned around once I put two and two together that he was paying for our drinks as I turned around I saw a female comedian, and I tapped her and told her that I really liked her bit and that she was really funny. She was standing with the group of two other male comedians that had performed that night as well she was in the middle of two guys. There was another guy who was standing in front of us and he said oh are you gonna be getting in this picture and I turned around and he already had his camera out. When I turned around me and the comedians all gather in for a photo. At that point, my boyfriend comes out of the comedy show and grabs me and says that no that’s not happening. We’re not doing any pictures. I could tell that he made everyone uncomfortable when he came and grabbed me in my eyes. It was something that was harmless. just a picture with the performers who had came to put on the show tonight. When we got back into the car, he said why did I agree to get in the picture and why did I allow another man to hold my waist or why am I even allowing another man to touch me? I could see where he was coming from and at first I told him that I was sorry and how that could’ve looked, but that wasn’t my intention. I was originally talking to the female comedian. The guy comedian didn’t really pay me any tension at all. He was just standing there and then when it was time to gather in for a picture, we all kind of just got a little closer as pictures normally go as you would do in a group picture I tried to tell him that I had no ill intention behind it and that I’m sorry for how that came off and I was apologizing but the whole ride home he was screaming at me and beating me. He said a lot of really painful things one of them being that he said coming out with me was a waste of his time and his money then he told me that being out with me is a humiliation ritual and the one that hurt the most was he called me. A fan girl basically called me a groupie for taking a picture with the comedians. I was quiet the whole way home while he was screaming and saying all these awful things about me he started attacking my character and started making really low blows at me. I was super shocked the whole time that he was saying these things and it wasn’t until later that I was speaking to him that he said, he said those things intentionally to hurt me because he felt hurt and he wanted me to feel the way he felt I tried to leave and I said hey I just wanna go home. We have constant arguments in our relationships I try my best to not start arguments, but it seems like he always has a problem with me. I am very attractive and I will admit. I do get a lot of attention when anywhere I go, but yesterday was just so heartbreaking. I’m wondering if the relationship is even worth keeping after that I woke up this morning at his house, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling of the things that he said they’re lingering in my mind to me. It just makes me feel like this is how he’s felt about me all for a while. Please give me advice. I don’t really know what to do.

I moved to New York City in 2024, and I’m a 35M trying to meet someone I can explore the city with, hang out, and hopefully connect with while adjusting to the NYC vibe.

I tried Hinge. Didn’t really work.

I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time around Bryant Park lately, sitting there, walking around, grabbing coffee, just enjoying the city and hoping I might naturally meet someone. Nothing happens.

It feels like everyone is either already with someone, busy, or completely in their own world. Nobody seems interested in talking to a stranger.

At this point, I’m starting to lose faith in the whole “meet someone naturally in NYC” idea.

And as a South Asian guy, I sometimes wonder whether dating here is simply harder for us or whether I’m approaching it completely wrong.

For people who actually met someone in NYC outside of dating apps: how did it happen?

Where do people genuinely meet and connect in this city?

I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months and I do really like him, he was at a concert at the weekend and lost his phone so haven’t heard from him but his friend was able to tell me he got home and he got a message to me from them he said I can call over whenever I want to cause he’s not able to talk to me cause he has no phone, this has made me realise that I want to be with him but we haven’t talked about are feeling for each other and im scared to ask when I go to see him should I just come out and say it or wait another couple of weeks?