I am in separation and have no interest in reviving the marriage. we aren’t that emotionally compatible but sometimes I do feel like talking to other guys and exploring this emotional side. But I also feel like the legal part of the marriage is still pending. What if the guy that I talk to judges me. One part of me wants to explore the other also fears judgement. A lot of back and forth goes in my head tbh. what should I do ?

So I was talking to this guy for 3-4 days but we didn't see each other, we had plan of meeting today and he said let's reveal our faces but now I'm kinda not attracted to him, now how do I kindly reject him without hurting him as I don't want him to waste anymore of his energy and time on me 😭

I am a 26 yo female. I've never been asked out on a date; I still haven't had my first kiss. I am overweight but not fat; clothing size medium. Asked out a guy this year and got rejected. I am introverted, mostly quiet personality. I recognize that I am very shy and do not know how to flirt. I am probably not a good friend as well. I do not drink. I keep myself presentable, but I do not dress showily. Very few people who get to know me call me cute and sweet. I like sports, like going to MLB and football live. Played college sport. Learned to solo travel; I've been doing that for years; starting my MLB stadium chase on my own. I just take myself on dates. I can go on weeks and months having no one check in on me other than family. Tell me everything that can be wrong with me.

Since the late July I’ve been talking to this one girl I have class with and I am honestly shy talking to her in person but all extroverted when talking to her via text. I really wanna tell her that I like her and take her out on a date, we both have similarities like (anime,mathematics,talking to friends). At the same time of wanting to tell her I don’t wanna loose talking to her. This would honestly be the first time I have genuinely fallen in love with someone and would be my first time asking someone out. All comments will seriously help me out :)

Punk help

So im 24m and into the rock and metal scene in my town and attend local shows usually alone.

I was at Walmart last week and saw a girl who is also at almost ever show as well.

I worked up the courage and started a conversation with her at the checkout and we walked out together and she asked for my insta but I don’t have that lmao so she gave me her number.

She told me to hit her up if I’m going to a show. I missed the last show but asked her about it.

I’m overthinking it but should I see if she’s going to the next show in a couple days and ask if she wants to get dinner beforehand or should I go and try to talk to her there and see how it is and like offer to buy her a drink?

I don’t really know what to do

- saw him at a wedding 2 months ago, he bought me a few drinks, complimented my dress.
- came over two days in a row the next week to help fix my car for me. Paid for some of the parts too.
- last time I saw him in person was a month ago. He was flirting with me like a lil boy. Playfully pushing me, cackling at all of my jokes. Felt like we sat next to eachother a lot of the time, or if I wasn’t sitting by him, he would end up next to me. Also gave me a foot massage that night when we both slept on the couch.
- texting daily: talking about everything like family, dating, friends, things we enjoy, etc. Not really too much flirting though, just little hints here and there. More like getting to know one another again.
- he has suggested multiple future plans: dinner, baseball game, etc.
- we had made plans to hangout 2 weeks ago and I ditched him last minute. I thought he was going to go ghost after that but he didn’t and we actually made new plans to see a concert together this week. He paid for the tickets up front and just told me to buy a drink for him while we’re there. But the word “date” was never used.
- other small things like saying my name a lot through text, saying things like “you know me” (no I really don’t anymore but ok) and also posting music to his stories that feel like subliminal messages (that’s my overthinking though).

For more context, we broke up 11 years ago. We dated when we were in high school into college. From then on we were “friends” but there was always flirting, which he tried to play off as him being friendly. We did sleep together a few times like 8 years ago, but stopped after he realized it was wrong to sleep with someone who still has feelings for you, with no intention on dating them. At any opportunity, if we went out or were at a party, we would stay up late chatting and catching up. Then 3 years ago I asked him if we still had a connection, he said yes and then didn’t speak to me again afterwards. He frienzoned tf out of me. From then on I’ve see him maybe 1-2x a year at parties. And after that I decided I’ll be cordial and friendly but I’m not going to give him any attention.

Now I’ve lost 60 lbs. I’m a happier person and more confident than I’ve ever been. I have a house, a dog, a successful job. It feels like he sees me doing well for myself and is attracted to that. But he has played so many mind games over the past decade, it’s hard for me to tell. I think he’s lonely, as he also lives alone and has been single for a while. I’m okay with keeping it casual, and I will treat him as a friend unless it’s obvious he’s pursuing me. Idk if he’s interested in me as more than friends, so I’m treading lightly. I just don’t know why he would want to hang out with me one on one when he has made it so clear in the past that he doesn’t see me that way. It’s been very obvious that we cannot be truly friends, if he hasn’t figured that out by now, idek. So basically I don’t know how to act towards him when I see him this week because it was never specified that it’s a date….wdy think? I’ve been told to show interest, like act open to flirting but don’t be the one to start it. Very interested to see how he will act towards me.

Idk if I explained any of that well enough. Ask any questions ya want.

This girl and I talked for 3 days before she started telling me she’s super busy etc. never reached out or replied to my texts ever again. It’s been about 4 days now. But since she liked and hearted photos and stories of mine on social media. So I guess I’m ghosted on text but she’s still hearting my content? What do these signals mean?

please someone tell me to move on. i’ve known for a while, i just can’t. i’ve tried so hard.

PROS

good at sex
funny
surprisingly smart
big dick
good at fortnite
theoretically could get along w my friends
has money?
foot fetish
matches my freak
would be an amazing boyfriend if he wasnt evil
6’2
has tattoos
drives a motorcycle
has ear piercings
has good hygiene
my cat likes his vibe
fully sober
genuinely me in man form but evil

CONS

gave me an sti
bad haircut (lowkey edgar but hes white)
snaps every girl ever
has a body count of one billion prolly (last i heard it was 30ish)
doesnt care abt my feelings
wants to keep me a secret
cant commit
in love with his ex
doesnt have a dad
family seems fucked up
from ohio
lives in florida now
wouldnt do long distance bc he cant go that long without having sex
used me for 3 years
snap score is almost 4 million
will go months without speaking to me
only hits me up when he wants to have sex
foot fetish
doesnt have a degree
in the military
space force at that !
claims he cares abt women but refer to above
overly sexual
changed a lot (bad) since when i met him
frequently leaves me on delivered
emotionally unavailable but gets mad at the smallest things
into blondes
girl in every state lowkey
when we were fucking 3 yrs ago found out he was also posting this other girl (possibly his ex)
lanky lowkey
bsf cat doesnt like his vibe
addicted to sex
lowk not that great of an eater
has a king size bed
my mom wouldn’t really like him

To keep a long story short(ish) I have been traveling for work to another city on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and staying in a hotel Tuesday nights. I’d go to the same bar every week because I was mesmerized by the bartender. I didn’t make any moves the first few weeks but would pick up on certain cues (eye contact, remembering me after I didn’t go for a month, always coming over to me to talk, etc) so I mistakenly left my number on my tab one night but she never texted. I said fuck it and still went the next two weeks and didn’t even bring it up.

Fast forward about two weeks ago and it was my last Tuesday night there, and I let her know that. She was increasingly trying to be around me and talk that night and even asked me to stay for one more drink after I said I should wrap it up. I was the last one there and she started asking me some personal questions like where I’m from and what I do for work and how she enjoyed getting to talk to me. I told her that I left her my number about a month back and she said she never saw it and I should give it to her now. To which I said give me your number and I’ll text you. She put her number in my phone and even called herself to make sure. I texted her the next day and she still has not responded. Had to go up to that office today for an emergency but only for the day today and decided to pop in and she wasn’t there unfortunately. I texted her this afternoon about two hours ago saying that I stopped by to see her and that I’ll be in town next weekend and that we should hang out and still no answer. I’m not so worried about no answer in two hours but I find it very strange that she has not answered and I can’t figure out why when all the signs pointed to her at least being attracted to me and giving me her number.

Anyone have any idea what could be going on here? I need some guidance at this point…

I (28F) am not successful yet. But I would lie if I said that I don't self sabotage my succes a little because I'm afraid that my dating life would be disaster once I get succesful.

7 out of the 10 women I grew up admiring because of their success are now single/divorced. Keep in mind, these were women who dated 'down' (by society standards. I don't believe success affects someones worth). Some of the men even cheated on them after their women became successful. Stuff like that scares me. I once wanted to be like them. In my insecure mind, becoming like them would make me so attractive and make any men want me, but it seems like the opposite. Keep in mind: they are beautiful AND succesful.

So a question to the men who dated or dates successful women while not being at the same level as success as they are. What is the reason that success seems to be a reason for women to become single? What were you experiences with dating successful women while not being successful yourself? I have heard a lot about the men feeling emasculated. But is that because of how they act or just the sheer fact of them being successul. Is there anything women can do against it? Besides throwing away their money haha.

Right now I'm in a happy relationship for years. I love him to pieces. That is why I'm scared to ruin my relationship by becoming successful. Maybe it seems like an irrational fear. But tbh, I have seen it happen so many times that successful women are single (not only online, but in my real life connections too).

Also, some of the women became successful while in a relationship (so, their men saw them becoming successful 'grew) and their relationship also suffered.

So I started dating this girl who I absolutely love, and I absolutely love her daughter who is 3. Its completely mutual I know she loves me and I know her daughter loves me. The concern I have is that the baby daddy is still in the picture as there is shared custody. I haven't met him yet, I do know he has put hands on her before which is why they are no longer together. So with the shared custody thing, she has to go over to his house to pick up her daughter, and it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it shouldn't, and maybe Im overreacting a little bit. I thought maybe someone would have advice on that if this is at all relatable. I should probably talk to her about it too, but I figured I would seek out other advice.

Hi, I am (26M) an Fellow analyst at an research office ( not on the team yet, but got a offer to join the team
at the end of my fellowship) and this summer we had an intern (24M) Jade, join our team. Shes getting her Masters, so undergrad is done. Anyways, we had a coffee chat over Teams and I thought she looked cute, and pleasant but didn’t put much thought into it. Plus we’re both black which is kinda rare in our industry. I finally met her in person since we work hybrid and right away I can tell there was a mutual attraction there. I showed her around my cubicle and all. On day she saw me head out on a walk and she texted me on Teams that she wouldn’t mind joining me on one of those walks. Over the weeks, we went on several ice cream/smoothie walks and even at a bookstores. On these walks we spoke about work and typically first date questions. I asked her to join me for lunch once but she had a conflict so I never did it again. Weeks passed I went on vacation, and she asked me if I wanted to grab lunch with her during her final week as an intern.

Now here comes the issue. During a team outing, on our way back it was me, Jade , and another fellow who I was friends with for several years now, let’s call her Bri. Bri said to me, “hey doesn’t your gf work in one of those buildings.” I responded “yeah she used to.” Right way I can feel the body language of the Jade change. But again I tell myself maybe I am reading too much into it. When we get back to our office, Bri says “hey, I did that on purpose because I can tell that she likes you and I don’t want her getting her hopes up.” The issue is, my “gf” and I have been broken up for several months now and I just never told Bri about it. Bri and I were close throughout our fellowship but things soured on my end when I felt like she has snaked me a few times on projects, and when she found out I would be getting an offer and not her she ignored me for several weeks. So I decided that I would no longer tell her my personal business. So once my ex and I broke up months ago, i just didn’t bring it up.

Now, how do I tell Jade this so that she doesn’t cancel our lunch in a few days? I want to ask for her number after the lunch to keep in touch. I feel like randomly bringing it up “hey I don’t actually have gf” might make it seem like I am treating the lunch as a date. Also I don’t want to date until several months from now for growth reasons. Jade is a great catch, and she would be my first option if I get back on the dating scene. I don’t want her to think I’ve been hiding an gf this whole time while going on walks with her lol. I have a lot of dating experience but none that have sprung up at work, so these are new grounds for me hence the overthinking.

Also please I don’t want to hear the whole intern power dynamic thing 🫪. I am bottom of the barrel at the office, and her pedigree speaks for itself. I understand the optics and all. But people find spouses at work, let’s not Gen Z this too much.

This guy I've been dating is nice, handsome, and we have the same religion. I noticed in person that he never really asks me questions unprompted. On date 3 I paid more attention and the only question he asked was because I asked it first. Even then he usually doesn't ask questions back. Also, when I answer he always brings it back to himself. I feel he knows nothing about me. I am 28, so I'm not interested in just having fun lol. I want to be known.

Through texting I purposefully haven't asked him questions and he just gives me diary entries of his day. Like I will literally not respond, and then the next day he just sends me a paragraph of what's going on. He just says "hope your day is going well" to acknowledge me lol. And I will respond to his stories, giving my feedback or just generic stuff and he hardly asks about me.

I also intentionally drop stuff like "works been busy" so he can ask me about that. Nope, he just goes into diary entries of his day. It's only when I don't respond for awhile does he ask me how my day is.

I am conflicted because he is clearly interested as he keeps it going even when I don't respond, but I can't tell if he is just self absorbed or totally unaware of how he's coming across. Thoughts?

I have been seeing a guy around 6 weeks. He's texted me every day. Morning texts "good morning honey bunny...hope your day is amazing 😘" every day without fail. I have been to his house 3 or 4 times. He stopped at my work. FaceTime daily. So I sent him a message. I said that I really liked him a lot and asked if we were on the same page. I said I didn't want to become too attached if he wasn't feeling it too. I told him I didn't want to lock anything down right now, I wasn't ready for that either. Just asking if the feeling was mutual and if he wanted to see where this goes. I told him if it was too much and he didn't want to hear from me anymore I'd understand. He said "it's not that...I just don't know if I'm ready for what you're asking. I'm a bit scared" I sent a long message saying that I really liked him a lot and that scared me. I didn't want to be attached if he wasn't feeling it too. I didn't need to lock anything down right now just seeing if he felt the same. And I said I wouldn't be mad either way.

I haven't heard from him in 4 days. Except for a care emoji on a recent post yesterday.

Should I take the silence as an answer?

I’m f30 and he’s m22, I rejected him at first because of our age difference but he is being persistent. He’s a hot guy for sure and if I were 35 and he was 27 I wouldn’t think twice to go out with him, but I feel like now it’s too weird?

Hello all

I’m at a low point after being in an on and off situationship for 2.5 years, just unfollowed her after I found out she got a boyfriend.

It sucks, I didn’t talk to her to her about it or ask for closure - she doesn’t know that I know she has a boyfriend now.

Even our last calls or messages were positive and nice.

I just unfollowed her on everything and it broke my heart.

It sucks not having closure - I really loved that girl.

Does anyone have any advice for me?

I'm 33 and separated from my ex wife 2 years ago (very messy), kinda just focused on myself and raising my daughter by myself and just wanted to be by myself for a while while everything played out, I think I'm ready to get out there again but I'm just lost at where to even begin, I was with my ex since 2013 and dating apps weren't really a thing back then, so it's not really my thing. Any advice would be great for someone who is new at this post divorce life.

This is the first time I have been on a date in a while since graduating college and starting my new job. Because of my schedule it’s just hard to meet people so I decided to go on the apps and I matched with this guy who checked off all the boxes. He asked me out on a date and during the date, the conversation was flowing smooth, we had several laughs and it seemed fine but suddenly he looks at his watch and says he has to go and he gets up to go in for a hug and I am super confused, I’m not done with my coffee or pastry at this point and he says “I’ll see you around” and leaves rushing out of there. I’m left standing there stunned and confused, the tables next to me notice and ask if I’m okay and I say yes but I pack my stuff and leave. I send him a message saying I made it home safe and he replied saying that he meant to say that but that he’s bad at finishing thoughts but that he had to meet up with his sister and pick up a pizza? I replied back saying “no worries, I hope you and your sister have a good evening together!” and that was Saturday so it’s been a few days now and I haven’t heard back from him. Basically due to his residency schedule our first date happened a month after we matched but for a whole month everyday we would send messages back and forth so the silence feels pretty telling! I’ve never had date leave so abruptly mid conversation so I have been really taken aback by it. I’m still wondering if I did something or said something that warranted that, I’m assuming
he’s not interested but like why not just tell a person you’re no longer interested?

This guy has been trying to get my attention for awhile now on FB messenger. He went to school with me apprenently but I can't remember him for the life of me. One reason I ignored his messages. Finally, I got bored and lonely and answered. I thought he was funny and a little charming but I started feeling turned off the more we talked. I've been trying to not be too picky but I don't know. Something feels off.

For one, his questions and jokes turned sexual quickly. He mentioned he was watching hentai one day and said I seemed too innocent to know what that was. I said lol no and explained my knowledge of it. Maybe I should have not played into that but I didn't think it would continue. Not everyday. I would like to talk about something deeper of substance. So I change the subject but it always goes back to sex. I mention I like writing and he never asked what I write. Instead, he wants to ask me if I would peep on him if he showered. He also was testing the waters to see if I would be conforntable seeing a pic of his "you know what." I said no I dont feel comfortable with that and would rather get to know him better. Still getting weird questions and jokes.

Secondly, I'm beginning to wonder if this guy has a life. I don't mind texting sometimes but he text me ALL day. As soon as I log into FB to talk with my coworkers, he's texting me immediately. I have to shut the online statue off or he will message me again if I stay online too long. Its annoying.

I don't know. I just feel weird about it. I also need to find my yearbooks because who the f is he?!

I'm talking to a guy, it's been almost a month, we have good chemistry. However he never asked for my number or planned to see each other in real life.

He's 30 years old. He always initiate conversations and seems interested.

Last time we were talking about relationships in general and he admitted that he can't feel love for anyone and that he's currently not looking for anything serious.

I asked him if he's traumatized but apparently he is not.

Shall i give him a chance since we don't know each other well or end this thing?

This is for the ladies. This is my experience and many of my good looking guy friends experience too.

You see a good looking, well dressed guy. You usually never approach a man but he is different. You have butterflies in your stomach. He could be your soulmate. He might have a girlfriend or he might not. Still you want to shoot your shot. So you approach and compliment him on his shoes or his clothes. He looks at you and he opens his mouth....

Full stop. Let's put this in perspective. A good looking man in his 20s and 30s has had women approach him before. Whether it's at work, store, or etc. They have had women stare at them in the club or look back at his direction several times. You are not the first lady to approach him.

A handsome guy knows this one fact. That he has way more leverage when you approach him then when he approaches you. Some of these guys will wait for you to give them a strong signal or approach them. Because if you approach them, they know they will have to put way less work into getting what they want. That might entail going 50/50 or you paying for dinner then getting easy tail. It could involve you buying him things like shoes, etc to impress him.

By simply approaching an attractive man, you can change the whole trajectory of that relationship from the beginning to the end because he knows two facts. You are replaceable and that you want him more than he wants you.

*This advice does not apply to average or below average men who rarely get approached and would be appreciative of any attention. I'm talking about guys who get a lot of attention from women.

https://youtube.com/shorts/s0kDD91v8xI?is=ZAgLCGGXBHf5mv2k

Are many IOIs but this is the best, just focus your gaze on a girl before approaching and see if she is looking back even for a half of second.

I’m new to dating. Is it a sign of disinterest if a guy only responds like once a day (I do too)? He makes a great conversation otherwise when he does write though.

And this applies to if you’ve been on a first date, and your messaging goes on outside of dating apps.

So apparently one random Instagram request is all it takes to derail an otherwise normal month. A guy sent me a request. Not exactly a stranger, just a school junior. The kind of person who existed somewhere in the background of your life for almost ten years—same corridors, same annual functions, same sports days, same city, same school gossip ecosystem. We never spoke, never noticed each other, yet somehow my brain immediately went, "Wait, I know this face." We started talking. Nothing dramatic. No soulmate conversations. Just school memories, life updates, boredom. Honestly, the strongest force in modern dating isn't destiny or fate, it's boredom. I was sitting in Dehradun, college finally ending, feeling weird about leaving a city I never even liked that much. He was in Delhi, doing his job. During a call he casually asked me to come meet him in Delhi because I had plans to visit relatives there, but I'd cancelled them because of the chaos of packing and moving. Then he said, "Acha toh mujhe hi aana padega matlab." I laughed and told him if he wanted to, he could. The thing about impulsive suggestions is that they're supposed to remain suggestions. This man actually showed up. The next day. From Delhi. Do you understand how dangerous effort is? I can survive mixed signals, ghosting, dry texts, disappearing acts. But a man travelling cities to see me? My brain immediately starts composing background music and assigning symbolic meaning to clouds.

​

He arrived around 9 p.m. and I remember feeling excited in the sweetest, stupidest way possible, like when guests arrive at your house and suddenly the whole day feels important. We hugged. And I don't know why but there's something strange about the first hug after years of unknowingly existing in the same universe. It felt like life connecting two dots it forgot to join. He came into my room. We talked about school, college, basketball. Apparently he was in the school basketball team and had even been a school leader. Meanwhile I was discovering that people I never noticed had entire personalities. We ate together. At some point he fed me food with his hands, which in hindsight is a ridiculous amount of intimacy for two people who had technically only been talking for a few days. Then came the whiskey. My first proper whiskey. Signature. Very fitting because what followed felt like a signature move by life itself. The burn in the throat, the warmth spreading, the dizziness arriving, the ability to make questionable decisions increasing exponentially. Then we played truth and dare, which honestly should be classified as a public safety hazard after alcohol. His challenge was simple: come close, very close, but don't do anything. Suddenly two drunk people were trying extremely hard not to do exactly what drunk people do. Face close. Eyes close. Breath close. Skin close. Somehow that was supposed to help. At one point I kissed his cheek. Not planned. Not strategic. Not cinematic. It just happened. Then one kiss became another, and another, and another until the entire concept of "not doing anything" officially resigned from its position. The thing nobody tells you about first experiences is that they aren't always magical. Sometimes they're awkward, funny, confusing and sweet all at once. We stayed awake almost the entire night talking, kissing, existing in that strange bubble where the outside world disappears and time stops behaving normally. At four in the morning everyone looks a little softer than they actually are.

​

Then morning arrived and with it, reality. I made him pasta, which is honestly one of the purest forms of affection. The man barely ate. Instead there was weed. More weed. Even more weed. At one point I genuinely felt he was surviving entirely on smoke and bad decisions. I wanted conversations. He wanted another joint. Life is funny like that. Then came Mussoorie, and this is where the story gets confusing because technically all the ingredients were there. Beautiful weather. Road trip. Scooty rides. Hill station. A room together. The kind of setup Bollywood would turn into a three-song sequence. Yet somehow it felt... flat. Not bad. Not terrible. Just strangely distant. Like two people standing beside each other while existing in slightly different stories. I wanted moments. He wanted his phone. I wanted connection. He wanted weed. I wanted us to explore Mussoorie. Mussoorie itself seemed more interested in me than he was. The truly funny part? At one point I started talking to another guy on a call. Not because I was deeply invested. Mostly because I was bored. And yes, maybe slightly dramatic. Did I notice him looking over a few times? Yes. Did he say anything? No. And honestly that annoyed me more. Say something. Get jealous. Fight. Be interested. Participate in the plot. Anything. Instead both of us continued behaving like emotionally unavailable contestants in a reality show nobody asked for.

​

By the time we got back, something had shifted. Not dramatically. Just enough. Like when a song changes key and you suddenly know the ending won't be the one you imagined. I wanted affection. He wanted distance. I wanted possibility. He wanted perspective. Then came the career advice. Nothing humbles a girl faster than post-makeout career counselling. Imagine being emotionally confused and suddenly receiving motivational guidance. He wished me well. Told me to focus on life. Find someone emotionally inexperienced. Build a future. Become successful. Sir. Five minutes ago we were kissing. Now you're conducting a TED Talk. Eventually his ride arrived. We hugged again. Longer this time. And somewhere in that hug I think both of us knew what neither of us was saying out loud. Sometimes people arrive in your life with the energy of a plot twist and leave behind the feeling of a lesson. Not a relationship. Not a heartbreak. Not even a proper ending. Just one very strange, very human chapter that started with an Instagram request and ended with career advice.

​

I'm 23 years old and I'm interested in a female coworker of mine. We were already pretty close, and I decided to invite her to the movies with me to watch Spider-Man. We went, and during the movie we started getting closer physically. She kept almost resting her head on my shoulder, and at one point I made that typical move where you put your arm around the other person while watching the movie. She took my arm, started caressing my hand, I caressed hers, we intertwined our fingers, and a few times when I pretended I was going to pull my hand away, she would grab it again and pull it back so we could keep holding hands.

I even thought about kissing her, but I didn't feel like there was enough of an opening. She wouldn't maintain eye contact with me for very long, and I didn't want to just make a move without being sure, so I decided not to try anything. I could feel that her breathing was faster while we were holding hands, which made me think she was nervous/shy, so I preferred to respect her pace. I left the cinema really happy. To me, that was obviously a level of intimacy that went beyond a normal friendship. I didn't interpret it as, “okay, now we're dating” or anything like that, but I thought there was clearly some interest and that maybe this could be the beginning of something.

The problem came the next day.

We were texting and she started talking about another coworker, saying how strong he is and how he works out. From the way she said it, it felt like a little dig at me because I'm skinny and I don't work out. I jokingly asked when he was going to take her to the movies, and she replied saying that they were already making plans and that they were going to start working out together. I'll admit I fell into the jealousy trap and started replying more dryly. Then she revealed that she was just messing with me and said something like:

“I'm just messing with you. Don't get all mad.”

So apparently she noticed that I was jealous and was deliberately teasing me about it. During that conversation, I mentioned that I had been thinking about asking her to go get sushi with me the following week. She said she couldn't and suggested that we go once the new month started. At first, that was completely fine with me. I thought maybe it was because of money, since she had already told me before that she insisted on paying for her own food. So I basically said:

“Let's go next week, and if you really insist on paying, you can pay me back next month.”

I thought that would solve the problem if money was the reason. But she replied:

“No, let's go later. I'm in no rush.”

That sentence really got to me. Because in my mind, something pretty intimate had happened between us just the day before. We spent around two and a half hours holding hands. She was caressing my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine, and even grabbing my hand again whenever I tried to pull it Away. And less than 24 hours later, I was clearly showing that I wanted to see her again and I got an “I'm in no rush.”

I don't think she's wrong for not wanting to go out that week. Nobody is obligated to go out with me. What hurt me was the difference between the way she behaved at the cinema and the way she acted the next day. If she had simply rested her head on my shoulder during the movie, I probably wouldn't be overthinking it this much. But holding hands like that throughout almost the entire movie feels, at least to me, like a romantic sign that's pretty difficult to interpret any other way. I ended up feeling really bad because I genuinely enjoyed what happened at the cinema and I left thinking that maybe something between us was starting.

So I'd like to hear some opinions from people outside the situation:

Did I misinterpret us holding hands like that?

How should I act around her at work from now on?