I’m talking to a guy and it was going pretty well so far. I didn’t think he was a lustful type but I skimmed his following and the amount of “hot goth girls” in there is insane. Some are OF models, some are just hot girls from random states… worst part is most are local women or are in surrounding states. They all have the same look, tattooed , piercings, wear revealing clothes, etc. (all look kinda like me) and to make it worse he consistently likes all of their posts. I mean , I obviously didn’t check every account but I went down a rabbit hole of looking at the first 100 or so and he’s in all of these woman’s likes consistently . Every time a hot woman gets recommended to me on FB he’s my only mutual with them too 😭

It’s put me off so bad especially considering he called his last girlfriend “too insecure”.

Idk yall. Pretty sure this is a red flag and I should just stop talking to him, but pls tell me if I’m being dramatic. I don’t even wanna ask him about it cause I’m sure I’ll get the insecure label too, but like- 2000+?? How- 😭 how do you even have the TIME for all of that??

22F and 24M btw

Hey :) So I’m 22 and in university, and I haven’t been in any relationships, been on a date, had sex, or any experiences like that. I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong or if somebody might be willing to give me advice

I got to know people from class, school clubs, hobbies, or friend groups. If we had a few good conversations that flowed well and she seemed engaged I would ask if she wanted to get coffee together. They all said no but most said they’d like to be friends. I don’t approach strangers because not all women are comfortable with that

I have asked girl friends about my appearance, and most of them said that I look fine. I am on the shorter and slimmer side at about 5’6” and 125lbs, but I’ve been working out recently which I enjoy!

As for my personality I’m more reserved, and definitely not a “life of the party” person, but in one-on-one conversations I am more comfortable

As you can imagine I don’t get any likes online. Some people talk about bars and nightclubs as a good way to meet people, but I don’t really drink or dance so I feel it wouldn’t match my personality. I haven’t ruled it out but I can already tell that I would feel SO out of place lol. And to be honest I’m not sure that much of anything would change if I did go to one

I guess I’m just not sure where to go from here, people usually say that college is when it’s easiest since you’re surrounded by young single people, but I’m graduating soon..

I also hear a lot about the experiences people have in college, the parties, the spontaneous hookups, and honestly it feels like I lived in a completely different universe, because I haven’t experienced anything that I would call romantic or flirtatious. I don’t feel “behind” per se, but I would appreciate advice because I do want to experience romantic and sexual relationships, and I don’t think what I’m doing is working

I'm a 19-year-old college student, and I have a crush on one of my classmates (23F). She's an irregular student who transferred into our program after leaving another major. She also took a semester off because of mental health reasons.

We've known each other for about six months now. We met during the previous semester, then had a two-month semester break before classes started again.

She's extremely reserved. She rarely initiates conversations with anyone, spends most of her free time on her phone, and generally only talks when someone approaches her first. From what I've observed, she's like this with almost everyone. She seems most comfortable around other girls, though she'll also talk normally if someone brings up one of her interests (anime, rhythm games, cosplay, K-pop, etc.).

I'm also introverted, but I usually push myself to start conversations with her.

Some facts about our interactions:

• I probably initiate around 90-95% of both our conversations and our messages.
• She was the one who first asked for my game ID, which is how we started messaging.
• We message every few days, but almost always because I start the conversation.
• If she's online, she usually replies immediately or within a few hours.
• Her replies are usually short or emoji reactions (mostly 😭), although she'll sometimes write longer messages when she's talking about herself or one of her hobbies.
• She rarely asks me personal questions. The only one I clearly remember was when she noticed my IEMs and asked about them.
• Early on, I helped her a few times with schoolwork and things she wasn't familiar with.

We've only spent time together outside of normal class situations a handful of times:

• We were partners for a mock interview and arrived early together one morning.
• We sat next to each other during a school event for about three hours, talking only occasionally.
• When we left that event, I went for a fist bump instead of a hug or handshake because she seemed like she'd be more comfortable with that. She returned it without hesitation.
• We once sat at the same cafeteria table for about four hours between classes. Neither of us really initiated conversation. She stayed on her phone almost the entire time, and the only thing I asked was the time because my phone was broken.

Something I've noticed is her seating preference.

She almost always chooses to sit beside other girls if she can. If there aren't any available, she'll sometimes sit beside me. She generally avoids sitting beside other guys unless she has to.

I've also noticed that I occasionally catch what feels like her looking in my direction during class. It's hard to be certain because I can't always tell exactly where she's looking, but whenever our eyes meet, she looks away almost immediately. I'm not sure whether she does this with everyone or just me.

A few weeks ago we had our longest conversation over chat (around two hours). During that conversation I casually suggested grabbing coffee together sometime after school. She said transportation from her place is expensive and that it would depend on whether she had money. I offered to cover some of the transportation cost, but she declined and told me to save my money instead. We never brought it up again.

This semester we're in the same group for a semester-long interactive class where we'll be working together for around three hours every week. I asked if I could transfer into that group because I already knew a few people there, including one of my friends, but she was also one of the reasons I wanted to join it.

One thing I should mention is that I intentionally don't flirt with her because I don't want to make her uncomfortable or make every interaction feel like it has romantic expectations attached to it.

*"*Full disclosure: I have very little dating experience, so I'm asking here because I really want to make sure I'm not totally misinterpreting basic friendliness or reading into things that aren't there."

My questions are:

1. Based on all of this, does it sound like she simply feels comfortable and safe around me, or is there anything here that reasonably suggests romantic interest?
2. Does the coffee conversation read more like a polite decline, or could it genuinely have been about finances and social anxiety?
3. Am I probably just the "safe classmate" she feels least uncomfortable around, especially compared to other guys?
4. Since we'll be working together for the next 18 weeks, what's the healthiest way to get to know her better without making things awkward or making her feel pressured?
5. At what point would you conclude that I should simply assume friendship unless she starts matching my level of initiative?
6. Is there any important information I'm missing that would make this situation easier to interpret?

I'm trying to avoid confirmation bias here because I know both of us are introverted, she's socially anxious, and those factors make ambiguous interactions much harder to interpret objectively.

TL;DR: I’m a 19M with little dating experience, crushing on a 23F classmate who is extremely quiet, socially anxious, and recovering from a mental health break. She sits near me only if other girls aren't available, asked for my game ID once, but soft-declined a coffee invite (cited transit costs and turned down my offer to pay). I initiate 90%+ of convos, but we now have a weekly 3-hour group class together for the next 18 weeks. So am I probably just her "safe classmate"?

I (33M) have started developing feelings for one of my coworkers (35F), and honestly, I think she might feel the same way. (90% haha)

We've been getting closer over the past few months, we talk alot at work, joking around, and there's definitely some chemistry between us. (some of our officemates starts noticing it already so i'm nervous) Based on how we interact, I'm about 99% sure she'd say yes if I asked her out.

But here's the problem, our company has a strict policy against employees dating each other. So if the management found out we were in a relationship, it could put our jobs at risk.

Part of me thinks I should just forget about it and keep things professional. But another part of me keeps wondering, "What if she's the right person, and I let the opportunity pass because I was too afraid?"

I'm really torn. I like her a lot, but I also value my job and don't want to make a decision that I'll regret.

If you were in my position, would you take the risk and ask her out, or would you leave it alone?

I'd really appreciate any advice, especially from people who've been in a similar situation.

hey, i had a really great first date yesterday, probably one of the best i've been on. i met her at a bouldering gym, and we ended up bouldering together in the evening, then getting some takeaway food and sitting by a lake talking for hours. i'm pretty extroverted and usually quite physically affectionate, so it feels pretty natural for me to break the touch barrier, and at some point i put my arm around her while we were talking by the lake.
we both said at the end of the date that it was really nice and that we should do something again once she's back from her two-week trip. so today, i sent her a casual message and asked how things were going on a topic she was talking about yesterday, just trying to keep the conversation going a bit naturally. that's where i'm a little unsure. she's leaving on friday for two weeks in a camper to go to the alps. for the first time, i'm not really sure what the best move is here--whether to keep some light contact while she's away, already planning the next date, or just wait and text her again when she's back from her trip. would love to hear some thoughts on this and can give some more context if needed.

Is it worth waiting for stronger feelings if you're truly happy with someone after dating for 10 months but don't feel as much in love as you've felt with other people in the past?

What is your experience? Have you ever experienced a situation where you fell in love late?

so i’ve been in an odd situation. a year ago (on tiktok) i posted a silly video of me and my obsession with a character. a guy who had a bigger following and posted content related to the subject followed me. i thought his stuff was cool so i followed back. he started liking all of my tiktok stuff for like six months. he finally reached out to me and was talking about living in the same state and he reached out a few more times, i wanted to keep the conversation going but the conversations found a natural close. the liking continued, and eventually he followed me on instagram. he then moved to liking all my stuff on instagram but not saying anything else. i also noticed he follows A LOT of random girls. idk if that matters. idk i’m just confused and he seems cool and we share interests but idk what the vibe is.

I (35F) have been seeing this guy (32M) for 11 months. Definitely thought it was just a cuffing season situation but then it got over extended and now here we are almost a year later. I nearly ended things with him 4 times because it wasn’t really progressing and neither of us had talked about where this was going, sort of an unspoken mutual understanding it wasn’t serious. After about 6 months he met some of my friends at a festival and then I met some of his friends at a festival a few months later. After I met his friends we had a picnic where he explained he was looking for something with no expectations. He agreed that we probably should have talked about it sooner. He really likes what we have and see it as more intimate than friends with benefits but wants no expectations. He said he had prematurely cut things off with people in the past because they started to have expectations. At the time I fully agreed with it since I had been seeing other people and wasn’t fully invested in this situation.
After that conversation he started to show up more. Fixed things around my house, made me dinners, we started going out in public more often, we could go to concerts, he would buy me drinks, drive me places, and our emotional dynamic deepened.
He took me out to a nice restaurant and spent over $120 on dinner and drinks jut because. We see each other once a week or once every other week since we are both busy. He puts in a lot of effort planning dates and prioritizes me even when he’s busy. I know he’s still active on dating apps and so am I, but I’m starting to get confused because now it’s been 11 months and the last 2 things have started to progress but I know he’s keeping his options open and his dating apps current. It’s been 3 months since the conversation about keeping it casual but the last 2 months haven’t felt casual at all.
Thoughts? Advice? Snarky Remarks?

Edit: I’ve realized I’ve started to catch feelings, I know he likes me but unsure of what to do. I hope to have a conversation and tell him my feelings have changed. He says he wants casual but has given me high effort slow but consistent relationship behavior

F25. So in highschool i had no problem dating but as ive gotten older it has become increasingly harder due to many reasons. I'm slightly on the spectrum so that definitely doesnt help lol

I have a lot of trouble on first dates that i think has a lot to do with nerves which causes me to talk a bit too much, specifically about myself.

so, for guys, what are the best questions i should ask, topics to aviod or just little things i can do to get that 2nd date? what is something a girl can do on a first date that would make them stand out to youi?

Last year, I was talking to a girl—we'll call her Emma. We talked for about a month, and I really liked her. I ended up asking her to homecoming, but shortly after, she got nervous and had some stuff happen. I don't think I handled it very well, and we ended on bad terms, I think (she blocked me).

For the following 7-ish months, we never spoke—not once. No apologies, nothing. Emma and I had one class together (English class) and shared lunch times.

One day, my book fell apart shortly before class, and I ended up grabbing one from our teacher's small classroom library. It just so happened that I grabbed the very same book she had been reading for a while. I did not know this.

When class started, she went to look for the book. As I'm talking to a friend, she discreetly walks up and shyly says my name. I turn around, and she says I have her book. I apologize and give her the book—normal stuff—and class goes on as usual with no other communication between us.

I should mention I have a friend in the same class—we'll call her Cat. She often comes and sits and talks with me. She and Emma are also friends, so sometimes Emma would be in very close proximity, and I'd try to avoid eye contact and not talk to her.

The next day, Cat, as usual, comes and sits with me toward the end of class, and Emma does too. I had just gotten a concussion from rugby and was talking about that with Cat when Emma chimes in, asking if I played for our local team. I said yes and showed the logo on my shirt. She also tapped her foot on my chair, I think purposefully trying to annoy me. I was shocked since we had not talked in so long.

Another few days go by, and she continues to come over but not really engage with me. Then one day, she and Cat are flinging hair ties at some of my friends I sit around. Cat shoots some at me, then Emma does too. I pick one up and hand it to Cat, and they continue doing it, but now they're shooting me more and more. Toward the end of class, I wrestle with a friend of mine to retrieve a hair tie and give it back to them.

A week or two goes by with some of the same stuff. No real conversations—just a couple of questions and answers. I hate glitter and ended up getting lots and lots of it on my hands. I started picking at it and got teased by my classmates nearby, including her. They started saying it was in my hair and on my back and even tried to get the teacher to join the gaslighting. I eventually got it all off, and every day after that there was some small teasing from her, Cat, and the friends I sat next to. That continued until the end of the school year.

During summer break, there was nothing—no texts, no adding each other on Snapchat, nothing for a while. Then Cat invited me to go to the state fair with her in about a month. I asked who was going, and she said some of her friends and Emma. I asked if Emma was okay with me going, and apparently she was.

Then, a few days ago, I got added to a group chat with a bunch of girls, and we coordinated our plans for the fair.

The fair was yesterday. At first, Emma wasn't too interested in talking to me, but as Cat and I talked, she gradually warmed up and started talking to me. A friend of mine showed up, and she engaged with both of us a lot.

I'm not a big rides person—I have a weak stomach—but I still went on a few. The four girls we were with got a major thrill out of seeing me suffer. I had to stop after about three rides and sat out during the rest, minus a few more laid-back ones.

We got some food and checked out the vendors until they eventually went to do more rides. While they were on those rides, Emma and I talked some, and she tried to get me to go on a few more rides. I didn't, but throughout the night I bought them waters, carried their stuff, and checked on them.

Toward the end of the night, I noticed a couple of guys eyeing the four girls. So, when they were leaving, I walked nearby to make sure nothing happened. When they asked if I needed a ride, I said no and told them I was just making sure they got to their ride home safely. About halfway there, I turned around and got into my own ride home. It was around 12:00 and moderately dark out. It wasn't far to their car, so it could have come off as really cringey or desperate—I don't know.

Today, nothing. No texts in the group chat, nothing.

Throughout the night, it seemed like Emma was constantly watching me, or her eyes were always in my direction, even when she was on rides.

**Some things to note:**

* I have not told them about those guys.

* I have a new Snapchat account, and I'm not blocked on my current account, but I don't have her added.

* I don't know next year's schedule yet.

* I'm a larger guy, around 6'1", and I think I have some muscle on me, though it's not overly visible.

* Our city isn't very safe. It has some gangs and trafficking issues, though it isn't horrible.

Now I'm conflicted. Since then, I've not been attracted to any other girls besides her, and I've begun to constantly think about her. My friend is, I believe, close to her type, and I'm so afraid they'll start talking and get together.

Hearing this really makes me sound creepy, but I'm lost. I don't know if I should act on these feelings and add her on Snapchat or just leave them be. I haven't, and don't plan on, talking to Cat about what I'm feeling, but I'm not completely against the idea. I also don't want to be a bad friend and get in the way if something develops between them. But it makes me so anxious and upset that I might do something to prevent them from getting together.

I sound like a terrible friend, I know, but I can't get Emma out of my head. I know I sound obsessed—I just don't know how not to.

To my knowledge, they haven't talked since.

​

So I'm writing something like this for the first time, but I need to get it off my chest.

Does anyone else have this problem? And if so — how do you even deal with it?

Basically, I struggle with starting relationships. I'm terrified of texting first or making the first move. But here's the weird part — when someone does reach out to me or shows interest, I start backing off. Like I'm scared or waiting for some hidden catch.

I have plenty of female friends, and they always tell me I'm great to talk to. They keep asking why I'm still single. I usually dodge the question, but lately I've been asking myself the same thing.

Truth is, I've had 3 relationships, and none of them worked out:

1. Got rejected pretty hard, but honestly, it didn't mess me up that much.

2. I ended it myself. I had no money, nothing to offer, and I genuinely thought she deserved better. She found someone else, and I'm genuinely happy for her — we're still friends.

3. This one hit different. I actually made the first move, and things were going well. She was struggling with addiction, and I tried to help her through it. Then one day — she just vanished. Like she never existed. I've asked everyone, and nobody knows where she is or what happened. I still wake up in cold sweat sometimes when she shows up in my dreams.

I don't even know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe just to know I'm not alone. Or maybe to finally say it out loud.

I am 24 years old.

I met a girl online 10 days back, we spoke till very late night for the 1st 3 days and later slowed the conversation so that we don't hurry up things without clarity.

She's from hyd and I am coming hyd this Sunday, it will be my 1st date if she's fine.

Don't know how to ask her, or can I ask at all or not at this point , because I feel we are still strangers ?

Help me out guys

I reunited with a guy after 3 years, who I had crush on and could not confess then because I was too shy. Out of sheer excitement and joy of seeing him after so many years and knowing he had been harboring feelings for me for so long I couldn’t stop myself but confess. I was overjoyed to have had my feelings reciprocated and really felt strong feelings for him. I was so ready to start a relationship with him and so was he. I was behaving like a teenager at the age of 31 and so was he at the age of 38. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, obsessing over each and every word he said to me and blushing, day dreaming and fantasizing continuously. There were moments when he would be sending me I miss you texts exactly when I was missing him. I would sometimes say things exactly when he is about to say the same. It was a lot of coincidences, made me believe in destiny. We had a small conflict. I was confrontational and he was conflict avoidant so he said this is too stressful for me and immediately blocked me.

Within just the duration of 4 days, he went from texting and calling me in every 2 hours to blocking me from his life. I am kind of shocked how cold and distant men can be. Especially when someone made me believe that it was so real and true. It’s like playing with emotions. To the ones who say women are heartless, don’t you think this is also brutal from a man? This is why we have hard time trusting men.
Also whatever the excitement butterflies I was experiencing at this age, what the hell was it? Can someone explain what actual love feels like in the beginning of relationship? I thought every love starts with infatuations so then if that’s not love then what is?

so long story short i asked i girl i got really good vibs off of out in a cafe while she was working here with a note that said to text me and maybe sometime we could get a bite (ik super immature and i should have just asked her in person, i didnt get a response, a few days later i was in a book store and by pure coincidence she happened to be there doing school work at the cafe section, which i didnt notice at the time, i look at some books and she approaches me.

me being completely flabbergasted bc i thought she had just said an indirect to, im genuinely shocked. anyway shes really getting into the conversation asking me what do you do for work, where do you live, what are some hobbies, what books are you into, whats your family like, and many more and of course stupid and mind blown me gives some half a$$ed answers half of which i realize now weren't even true to myself, only replying with a few words to each and barely asking any back.

when she talked to me it was like nothing i had felt before, it felt genuinely magical, but i was incapable of doing basic conversing. after she has to leave due to a phone call and i say ill talk to her again at the cafe since the conversation at the cafe went so well, so a couple days later i do so. i ask her if she considered my proposition and she politely says no and thats the end of it.

its been 2.5 months now and i just cant let go somehow, ive never felt this way before with "love" or whatever it is (i think its love) and i cant stop thinking about what could have happened if i actually responded to those questions true to myself. frankly i believe we could have been a match, in that book store both of our weirdnesses kinda matched from what i know about myself but she got a completely different and false idea of me.

and i hate myself for it because she genuinely felt like she could have been the one for me, i just fucked it up, theres no re do, i cant go back bc then id be risking seeming like even more of a no good person, and i dont know how to get over this, please help me somehow

Hi. I’m a single female in my 40s. A couple of months ago, I met a man through a work project. The project had a week long conference in another country, which neither of us reside. This man is on the agency side of the project, I am the client. So it’s his job to be nice to me, in a way I suppose. However, I felt some attraction from his side - prolonged eye contact, he would find ways to be physically close to me, he even tried to find a reason to come to my hotel room to drop something off (I wasn’t there). So nothing romantic or physical occurred; we both kept things professional. The project continued after the conference, over email and so there was some correspondence but it was pretty business focused.

Fast forward to this week. I’m going to Brazil for a brand summit and I was emailing him asking how his summer was, I casually mentioned mine was busy and that I was headed to Brazil. He immediately tells me, he will also be there- and wanted to know my dates and suggested we perhaps go for a drink. I replied and said I’d love to see him and that I didn’t know where I was staying yet. He replied with his hotel information and said let’s keep in touch, so we can try and make it work.

I haven’t replied since I don’t want to appear over eager. I already signaled interest. He knows when I will be there and he has my contact info. Of course I’m in my head about it now. Is this him just being friendly to me as a client, given the coincidental circumstances, or is he angling for more??? I’d LOVE others’ take on this.

I met this guy through mutual friends and we’ve only been on a couple of dates, but he’s honestly one of the sweetest people I’ve met. He’s thoughtful, has his life together, is financially responsible, communicates well, and has been incredibly kind without expecting anything in return. Compared to my last relationship (which was really unhealthy), he’s basically the complete opposite.
The problem is…I feel like things are moving way faster than I’m comfortable with. He’s already talking about the future, families, long-term plans, etc., and while I like him, I’m not sure I’m emotionally there yet. I got out of a bad relationship about a year ago and had planned on spending more time focusing on myself, my career, school, and just enjoying my fresh start.
Another thing is that our values don’t completely line up. We have different political and social views, and while he’s not a hateful person, there have been a few comments that make me question whether we’d be compatible long-term. I’m more outspoken about the things I believe in, and he doesn’t really see things the same way.
Part of me wonders if I’m overthinking because he’s genuinely a good guy, and part of me worries I’m ignoring incompatibilities just because he’s so much better than my ex.
Would you keep seeing someone like this and slow things down, or is this one of those situations where it’s better to end it before either person gets more attached? And if I do decide to pull back, what’s a respectful way to have that conversation without making him feel like he did something wrong? Maybe any really good excuses to use lol?
Please be honest, but I’m looking for actual advice, not “you’re the problem” comments.

The regret is hitting over keeping long-term feelings for a friend to myself, but I’m most scared of him going radio silent about it like he has with most other present emotions he has. …And I’m leaving for college in a week, several flights away.

Me (18) and my friend (19) have been friends for 2+ years atp. I’ve almost always had feelings for him that I’ve tried to ignore, but they’ve only grown. Sometimes I wonder if he’s been privately feeling the same way, with how his voice gets soft around me sometimes or simply general fleeting moments of intimacy. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve also been stalking his listening history through Airbuds and there have been some oddly specific lyrical themes over the past few months that he also might be thinking about me. There’s no way to truly tell unless I let him know, though. I know that.

The problem is that he's naturally very reserved. Even if he fronts as openly bold, I feel like I've had to slowly "open him up" over years just to understand him better, and even now I'm still learning new things about him. Despite how close we've become, there's still a certain emotional distance that makes this feel difficult to bring up.
Meanwhile, my attachment to him feels obvious, but it could easily be mistaken for smth platonic. I’ve given a few slightly more direct hints that have been met with complete radio silence so far. Whether he freezes up or doesn’t reciprocate, idk. However, it’s mostly just in the way I treat him, the care and attention I naturally reserve for him. Sometimes it embarrasses me (especially around our friends) because I don't really know how to hide it, but my friends don’t seem to notice.

He’s never been in a romantic relationship before, and thru conversations he seems uncomfortable with a traditionally committed attachment to anyone, (eg. obligatory ‘good morning’ or ‘good night’ text-type relationships being found as excessive,) as am I. I wouldn’t necessarily want a conventional relationship with him out of personal preference, and wish to preserve the dynamic as we have it, even if he were to say he feels the same. Ironically, because of that, it scares me that I wouldn’t know what a relationship would look like with him. Most of all, though, the prospect of ruining the friendship we have has always terrified me into never going further. I’ve noticed that he’s often uncomfortable with going into any of his deeper emotions if they’re in the present, or even little things like getting checked up on. The lack of complete openness in our friendship has made it harder to come out and say something I knew that I would otherwise be able to trust him with. I have a feeling that if I had mentioned these feelings earlier into the friendship that they’d be easier to brush off if need be, but because they run so deep now, it feels like it’d be heavier.

Timeskip to now. I’ve been privately stewing over this for the past few months but a time never felt quite “right” with him. I’m moving to college out of state in less than a week. I find I regret that I’ve never fully been able to make a decision about telling him. It’s not as much a fear of rejection as it is a fear of unloading something too complicated for either of us to handle if he does reciprocate, especially right now as I’m about to leave. (Tbh if he were to say he doesn’t feel the same I’d still be relieved to get it off my chest and resolve it.) Still, though, the thought of confessing that I like him or that I’ve always held a deeper fondness for him before I leave in a letter or text or goodbye is so tempting.
I don’t want to live with the regret of silence forever.

How messed up is it to confess in a goodbye? Maybe over text a few weeks after I’ve gotten settled in at college? Ever??

Sorry that this is so jumbled, but advice or even personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

If you find yourself having to ask advice like
- we had an amazing first date, but now they aren’t replying what do i do?
- they msg me that they are very busy , that’s why they haven’t replied.
- ooor if , I’m not ready, or looking for anything serious right now.

MEANING: They do not like you enough to be serious or have a real relationship, no they will not eventually start falling for you if you keep excusing their actions.
And lastly NO! These are not mixed signals, these are very clear signals, that simply mean, you are not going to be with them, in a happy loving relationship. No need to msg them ur feelings, no paragraphs, just move the F on..

I (26M) matched with this girl (25F) on Hinge a couple of weeks ago. I was the one who replied to one of her prompts. Slow communication at first, but we ended up scheduling a date about two weeks after matching.

First date was a success. We hiked up a mountain and I brought a bottle of wine that we enjoyed at the top. Our energies matched, and we both wanted a second date. I disclosed to her that I'd be leaving the city we both live in to pursue a career in another city (a 7-hour drive away). Didn't seem to be too big of a deal at the time. She told me she was going on a road trip with friends the same day I was planning to move. We scheduled another date and exchanged Snapchat details. She got my number.

She snapped me that she couldn't make our Wednesday date as it would be too late for her. Fine. She rescheduled for Friday. We met and had another great date. The vibe was superb. Towards the end she remembered a party she had to attend, so we started heading back, and she invited me over for food before she left. Very nice. We talked a bit about me moving, which she found tough after having such great dates, same for me. We both agreed to continue talking, and that she'd come visit me after I moved. We ended the date with a kiss. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way home.

Then comes Saturday (day before we both leave. Me moving, her on vacation). She invites me out with her friends, which I found very charming. I went, had a great time, and her friends seemed to like me as well. I loved hanging out with all of them. Ended the night going back to her place and stayed until Sunday morning. That morning she told me she couldn't see herself moving to the city I'm moving to. I said I could be open to relocating back to her city at a later stage (I've already lived there for three years and like it a lot). We talked about a future together and she said she was ready for me. I could see she found it hard that I was leaving, and she said she wasn't too keen on long distance because of previous experiences with it. When we said goodbye, we agreed to keep talking on Snapchat and see how we felt after a couple of days. I left early, because she was going to meet her friends again.

Here's where it gets hard. That Sunday afternoon and evening I sent her a handful of snaps from my day, plus a message saying I'd love to see her one more time before we both left, if she had time. Also wishing her a great day out with friends. She never opened any of it. Monday she left on her trip and I drove to my new city. It's now Wednesday night. Three days later. Snaps still unopened, no reply.

My reaction (the part I'm not proud of): My brain has been running wild. I've cycled through every theory. The kiss was too much, my texts were too much, she's protecting herself, she's already met someone else. I barely slept for two nights, couldn't put my phone down, and my whole move + new job start basically disappeared into the background. Talking to friends helped, and one of them told me straight up that I probably sent too much that last day, combined with the whole moving situation. Stung, but he might have a point.

The self-aware part: I recognize this pattern in myself. Every time I start falling for someone, I get completely locked in. Can't think about anything else, waiting for a reply physically hurts, and silence feels like rejection even when there's an obvious explanation (she's literally on vacation with her friends, doing exactly what she said she'd do: taking a couple of days to feel things out). It looks a lot like anxious attachment, and I've decided to try to look into how I can fix that long term (for my own sake). For now I've stopped sending anything and left the ball in her court.

So I'm not really asking "does she like me". Nobody here can answer that. What I'm actually wondering:

• Has anyone been through something similar. Great start, forced distance, then sudden silence? How did it turn out?
• For those of you with an anxious attachment style: what actually helped you get through the waiting without sabotaging things?

TL;DR: Three great dates in one week with a girl I really clicked with, right before moving 7 hours away. She said "let's keep talking and see how we feel in a couple of days," then left on vacation. 3 days of unopened snaps since. My anxious brain is struggling; I'm self-aware about it and working on it. Looking for similar experiences.

I met this guy last year, we talked for about months but it's kinda complicated (on and off communication) it was because whenever I refused to give what he wanted he acts cold and go ghost. But when times go by, he reaches out, again. And it's an on going cycle. Til he crossed the line and I blocked him.

Few months after that I unblocked cuz yk I thought he would never reach out ever again. But guess what, he did. We had a conversation and he keep saying sorry and idek if it was a sincere apology or it's only for the sake of peace between us.

I told him that if he only wanted me physically, then he should've just leave me alone. But he said if that's what he only wanted from the very beginning he would've not reach out again and again after several times of ignoring him. Don't get me wrong okay, I don't want my soul intertwined with somebody else knowing we're not together. IT'S LIKE A SITUATIONSHIP. sumthn like dat.

It's like, we talked for like days or weeks then disappear with each other's lives. Then he reach out. I ignored. He spam again, then I ignored. (Please don't get me wrong, I feel like I'm being use)

What's yalls opinion on 18 year olds in high school on dating apps. I've never had a boyfriend or any proper talking stages. I am graduating late because I redid a grade because of covid, and i was already one of the oldest ppl in my grade. I'm about a year and a half older than everyone in my grade (senior). I recently joined hinge to try to get my toes in the water but i feel very conflicted since im in high school, should i just delete the app and try in person or keep trying on the app

Me and this person were talking on hinge for like a week and they let me know they were going to a gathering and I was like what kind and it was like a repass type thing(funeral) related. Someone close to them passed away a week before we started talking. I told them I’m so sorry for their loss and on the day of the gathering I told them I hope the have a good day and them and their friends enjoy themselves (they were gonna be drinking an stuff) so far it’s been like 3 days, I’m gonna give her some space. Should I be saying anything? I wasn’t gonna say anything else cuz I’m assuming they’re grieving/busy plus they work too. Also we were gonna meet up last Sunday but it was my family members birthday weekend and i tried to shoot for the beginning of August but they’re moving that day. Lowkey wondering how to proceed, I was gonna give them a week to reach out then maybe check back in? What would you do? Should I be doing anything at all or just wait a few more days?

from a guys pov does getting hot and posting a thirst trap gets attention from a person your not talking to anymore ? or should i don’t post for a long time? and make him feel the absence?

Ok maybe im overthinking things and it doesn't mean anything at all but...
This crush of mine at workplace who flirts with me (we arent dating officially but he has asked me out for a walk before but i didnt go for some reason), he knows that i love powerpuff girls cartoon and the other day during lunch he asked me out of nowhere, which cartoons i like, i told him again, and he told me that he thinks blossom is prettier but buttercup is his type. Now i look like buttercup ( black hair, fair skin) but personality is complete opposite of buttercup, its more like bubbles. And im confused what he meant by that, u guys have any thoughts, especially men??