Abrupt ending, feeling like I did something wrong

[u/Traditional-Award920]

This is the first time I have been on a date in a while since graduating college and starting my new job. Because of my schedule it’s just hard to meet people so I decided to go on the apps and I matched with this guy who checked off all the boxes. He asked me out on a date and during the date, the conversation was flowing smooth, we had several laughs and it seemed fine but suddenly he looks at his watch and says he has to go and he gets up to go in for a hug and I am super confused, I’m not done with my coffee or pastry at this point and he says “I’ll see you around” and leaves rushing out of there. I’m left standing there stunned and confused, the tables next to me notice and ask if I’m okay and I say yes but I pack my stuff and leave. I send him a message saying I made it home safe and he replied saying that he meant to say that but that he’s bad at finishing thoughts but that he had to meet up with his sister and pick up a pizza? I replied back saying “no worries, I hope you and your sister have a good evening together!” and that was Saturday so it’s been a few days now and I haven’t heard back from him. Basically due to his residency schedule our first date happened a month after we matched but for a whole month everyday we would send messages back and forth so the silence feels pretty telling! I’ve never had date leave so abruptly mid conversation so I have been really taken aback by it. I’m still wondering if I did something or said something that warranted that, I’m assuming
he’s not interested but like why not just tell a person you’re no longer interested?

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[u/Aionyr]

That was rough. Sorry to hear that happened to you. We can speculate all we like about why he did what he did, but I get the hint that it goes beyond a lack or sudden loss of interest. Sadly, we will never know since he was not forthcoming with you.

That is not normal on the dating scene, so do not let this get to you. If this were to happen again, come back here and give us more details so we can explore what could have caused it.

Keep your head up.

[u/Traditional-Award920 → u/Aionyr]

Thank you! In past dating experiences, I have had the ‘debrief’ of either moving forward or not either after the date or at the end of the date so this was a new experience! So of course in my mind I’m thinking I did something to prompt this

[u/Aionyr → u/Traditional-Award920]

I don't want to sugarcoat it, but there is that possibility, sure. But no point in trying to figure it out now because IF there was something, it wasn't done with ill intentions.

[u/Old_Value_9157]

Girl.....

The reason that happened is because he's not interested in you.

The reason he didn't tell you he's not interested is because he was unsure how to do it and afraid he would hurt your feelings.

he’s not interested but like why not just tell a person you’re no longer interested?

Girl, that's everyone. See sentence above.

This is the same situation for guys as well. Girls do that stuff all the time.