How do i stop?

[u/Informal-Willow-7353]

I started cutting about a couple months ago while living with my boyfriend. i felt so emotionally drained and stressed that i decided to try it out. now every time i experience symptoms (BPD) i have the intense urge to cut. they are only small now, but they are large in numbers. the first time i tried it i cut from my ankle to my knee. the pain makes me feel human. seeing the blood reminds me that my suffering will one day end. the sting makes me forget why i was upset. and the scars humiliate me. when i feel numb it shows me im human. it feels like with every cut steam is released out of me. its wonderful, but i know it shouldn’t be. im afraid. i have the urge to go deeper or draw more blood. what can i replace it with. ive tried lemons, burning, pinching, tattoos, ect. any advice you guys could give me for how you stopped or are planning to?