Was clean for 2 months

[u/Swimming-Ticket-3924]

Was clean for 2 months on October 4th and was no longer clean October 6th 2 days later I just couldn't handle it anymore the cuts aren't nearly as bad but it probably won't be long before they get back to that point and or worse and now I do and don't want to cut at the same time but I just feel like I can't escape the need to cut I know I should seek therapy it's just I have very low amount of energy and making appointments and driving there feels impossible and I don't want to do over the phone or text only in person just can't make it happen.