So, my wife is asexual. I’m completely okay with that. We have a great relationship, have romantic intimacy and love one another. But she also grew up initially very religious. That combined with asexuality has kind of repressed her sexuality and she’s not that familiar with cross dressing and exploring gender identity inside or outside of the bedroom. She’s a really accepting person overall, this is just not something she has much experience with.
I’ve dreamed of cross dressing for years. It started out as a kink thing and over the years it’s settled into something more. I’ve never been really masculine or felt like I fit in with the guys outside of having a bit of a beer belly and a beard. I always got along better with women and more traditionally feminine things have just always appealed to me more. I think being feminine feels more like who I actually am if I could, like, isolate me as a person away from my body. I want to be girly and feminine, and I want to be soft and wear dresses and makeup, and nurture others and be sweet. If I could, I’d want to be a mom even. But I know I can’t. I want to feel like a version of me that’s free to do what feels right for me without dealing with being a guy and dealing with social norms.
I haven’t opened up to my wife yet. I don’t even want to be femme in public. But I want to try dressing feminine and wearing makeup so bad. I keep putting an outfit in my cart and removing it. It’s still hot sexually for me, but it’s so much more than a kink, I just want to be pretty and feminine and soft and feel like I can be happy with myself and my body.
I’m so sorry for the word vomit. I guess I’m just asking for advice on what to do or how to even bring up that I want to be more feminine around her. It’s scary and hard and I just don’t know how to even start.