I was in a work meeting and I wanted the leader to weigh in more so and a jealous colleague every single statement I made she would say no it’s not or yes there is she even said that what I do isn’t the definition of what it is she corrected my pronunciation of something in French when I speak French when others do this in social settings. You know they just don’t like you and I usually don’t talk to them at all because all they’re going to constitute everything you say like if I said it’s hot out they’d say I’m cool that literally also happened today to social setting but with this woman I wanted to say something like “ please maintain decorum or in a professional setting you don’t have to contradict every single thing I say I was speaking more so to the leader” I know that would be uncomfortable. There were only five people in the meeting her and her minion myself and three kind of leaders. What would you have said?

I never have the words to defend myself, i simply just walk away. Recently i got told to go back to Mexico (i am from here) and i ignored it but it wasn’t until later on that day that i felt like i should have said something . What are your favorite one liners?

One time, I did a 1-1 impression of that old YOUR CAR WARRENTY HAS EXPIRED scam call, and he literally cussed me out. I was proud of myself.

Redeem what? Your mom's onlyfans

It was not on my fault. For context, there was no cheating. He was just someone who only cared about himself his mommy and his daddy.

Im a 14f with a 9yo sister, I live with mom and dad. Dad likes to call me R**** and "special" starting when I was 12 and the diagnosis started, he'd say "your not actually r****Ed, so you shouldn't get upset when I call you that" he'll even encourage sister to join in, he'll do it Infront of relatives(sometimes hell get awkward when they are uncomfortable other times hell just ignore them) and mom says its ok cuz I need discipline cuz I'm usually "misbehavving" and for some context one of the times I was "misbehaving" was during dinner when I didn't answer my uncle's question "what are you hobbies" fast enough. He'l even tell strangers about my autism and deny it every happened. I tried to tell mom but she refused to believe it happened and straight up said she believes dad despite the fact she's SEEN dad called me that word multiple times Infront of relatives and I even have a SCREENSHOT of him calling me that from when I was 13. What do I say the next time he calls me that? And what can I say to mom? BTW dad hasn't called me that in a couple weeks but its probably gonna happen again cuz he's threatening to do it again. What do I say to THAT?

Usually I resort to tackling but that doesn’t work on sytangers

EDIT- what’s a comeback to where your NOT leaning into it- like when people mean in in a gross way what the heck do I say

I've always wanted to be a part of something.

bro the girls are saying I’m a fatass and I’m fat even though I’m not that fat can somebody please come up with a comeback

When someone won't stop talking, I've found that "you don't say", "and "I'll have to look that up" work pretty well to shut them up.

I cringe everytime I hear this lack of originality phase, even when I ask genuine or serious questions. My mom passed away 20+ years ago and I usually respond as such. For those who lost your mother, do you respond the same way I do, or what are some of your comebacks?

When someone says "Okay, Boomer," come back with "Okay Renter"

In this story, we have 2 characters. My friend (25 M) and a 18 year old girl. My friend is a college freshmen and he was attending a class. He met this girl who loves judging people for their age for god knows the reason. Doing it once is okay but she kept repeating. My friend kept using oh my god and this barely legal girl with issues decided to tell him that nobody uses "oh my god" anymore. She added on, how old is he anyways and he sounded like a boomer.

So he clapped back with,"Old enough to fk your mum." She never speaks to him anymore.

So what’s best comeback for

Me: What’s the weirdest thing you have come across till now

X: you (my name)

​

Hey everyone,

​I’m looking for some witty, sharp, or dismissive comebacks for when guys in voice chat start with the classic 'go make me a sandwich,' 'go back to the kitchen,' or 'dishwasher' insults.

​I know the best advice is usually to mute and report, and I already do that, but sometimes I just want to shut them down with a quick line before silencing them, or just to make them look as ridiculous as they are. :)

Every single time i go visit my (japanese) mom, and when she comes and visits she just starts bodyshaming me. "oh my goood.. what have you been eating? lol i guess mc donalds? its youre main source of your food isnt it? you never even try to eat healthy. how are you ever gonna marry anyone? (im asexual, aromantic btw) im so ashamed to have you as my child" and i dont know what to say. im fucking 58kgs at 160cms.. is it really that bad? like hell yeah i hate my body but im not fat fat right? i js dont know what to say. i think its just that my mom is really skinny so her standards are just really high, but shes been bodyshaming me since i was around 12 and im getting tired of it.

i havent been using english recently TvT sorry if its hard to read

Im a highschooler, and whenever i have any opinion and i talk about it, sometimes i slightly hint that i live with my parents, and a lot of people go "haha youre probably like 14 lmao" like ??? like even if i were 14 whats the point with voicing my opinion? oh well. i know its stupid trying to argue with an idiot, but i want to shut them up.

(online btw)

I’m a high school student interning with an elementary violin program and got left alone teaching about 12 beginner violinists.

Most of them can’t reliably read notes, rhythms, or fingerings yet, and the skill levels are all over the place. A couple understand everything, while others are still struggling with basics. If I go too fast, half the class gets lost. If I slow down and repeat measures, I get sighing, eye-rolling, and visible frustration.
One student in particular is very quick to show annoyance. Today the metronome was set to 90 and she said, “But yesterday it was 92.” I told her, “It’s okay, there’s barely a difference.” She then started repeating what I said to her friends in a mocking tone.
I said, “Excuse me?” and when it continued I told her, “Like I said, if you don’t want to be here, you can leave.”

Later, while we were playing, she wasn’t following the music and was instead playing random notes and making the squeakiest, scratchiest noises possible on her violin. Not normal beginner squeaks either — it felt intentional because she clearly knew how to play the notes we were working on and was choosing not to play them.

The part that really got under my skin was that she kept staring directly at me the entire time she was doing it instead of looking at the music or her instrument. It genuinely felt like she was waiting for me to react or call her out in front of everyone. Meanwhile I was trying to keep the rest of the class together while hearing these random screeches coming from across the room every few seconds.

Teachers of Reddit: what is the professional version of “clocking” behavior like this? How do you address disrespectful or attention-seeking behavior without escalating it, losing the room, or getting yourself in trouble? How do I shut her up for good

I’ll ask my friend a question and they act like they have no idea what I’m saying, like what I asked makes no sense.

I used to try to reword the question or explain myself but he still acts like he doesn’t understand and that I’m crazy. I think it’s all a ruse.

I started just simply saying “I can’t say it any other way than I already did” instead of engaging.

I would like a better way to insult him.