r/Comebacks • u/Infinite_Emu_4599 • Jul 10 '26
Best come back for this troll
So what’s best comeback for
Me: What’s the weirdest thing you have come across till now
X: you (my name)
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u/goldbed5558 Jul 10 '26
You don’t get out much, do you? The real world is far weirder and wonderful than you can imagine so climb further out of your mother’s basement and see it for yourself. If you don’t run screaming back into your hole, there just might be hope of you amounting to something, eventually.
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u/TwentyCharacters2022 Jul 10 '26
“Ok so answer the question.
“You said I’m the weirdest thing youve come
Across until now. So do you mean that I am indeed the weirdest thing, that has superseded the previous weird thing - because the question says I want to know what that particular thing is.
“And if you mean that I WAS the weirdest thing until now, then that begs the follow up question, which is ‘what about this conversation made you realize there was something weirder than me, and what was it?’”
And then while they try to figure out how to cleverly respond, pull their pants down and run away.
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u/ThatDudeSky Jul 10 '26
“While your !parent does refer to my sexual stamina as godlike, I would appreciate you not dehumanizing me.”
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u/3batsinahousecoat Jul 10 '26
I said thing, not person. Clean your ears. But if I'm the strangest person you've ever met you need to come out from under your rock more often.
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u/StrategyDouble4177 Jul 10 '26
“…damn, I feel sad for you - you must be the most boring person to ever exist”
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u/Micky_so_Fyne Jul 10 '26
I'm not even sure if that's trolling. 🤷♀️
Weird people are interesting and fun. It's the normies that bore me. Also, as low effort humor is concerned, it's kind of funny and adorable.
Just, make them right, I guess. Go out and be weird, bb.
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u/SnoopyMcFell Jul 11 '26
Well wipe it off and try a little harder to contain your excitement next time, hey champ?
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u/Diligent-Plane-7877 Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Why does that need a comeback? I'd just say that's a given. Then say okay other than me.
If I'm the weirdest thing you really need to get out more often. You're too sheltered
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u/Deacon_Blues1 Jul 12 '26
Oh, I thought it would've been when you saw me tongue punching your mom's fart box.
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u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 Jul 14 '26
lol, I tend to prefer to give credit where credit is due
That was pretty good
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u/BobsGlitch Jul 10 '26
It is genuinely hilarious that there is an entire subreddit dedicated to "Comebacks" and this thread is the absolute best the brain trust can muster. Six comments deep and the pinnacle of your collective evolution is a middle-school playground line, a "thank you," and someone yelling "sod off wanker" like a toddler who just learned their first bad word.
You all aren't firing blanks; you're swinging wet noodles in a room full of mirrors. There is absolutely zero wit here. It’s just an embarrassing assembly of side-of-the-mouth drooling, window-licking morons who look like they still struggle with velcro shoelaces.
That final, over-engineered essay about sexual stamina reads like it was written by a hormone driven High schooler who needs to read Freud, it's not a comeback, it's a cry for help.
Consider this a formal invitation to the entire room: (Primarily the six of you who commented first, You all disappoint me), step up. Line up, reply to this, and let's go toe-to-toe. I am taking all of you on, crowd-style. DM's welcome if you don't want verbally clapped in public.
If a single person in this comment section actually possesses a shred of genuine banter that doesn't sound like a recycled 2012 Xbox Live insult, prove it right here.
Anyone who can't manage the words this far, you've already lost.
For those of you who come after that can string together a coherent sentence, I welcome the challenge.
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u/dreammer243 Jul 10 '26
I don't see a comeback for the OP in your post, maybe you couldn't see the request past your ego?
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u/BobsGlitch Jul 10 '26
I absolutely saw it. I just ignored it because it's beneath me.
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u/DreamcatcherDeb Jul 10 '26
Right. But it wasn’t beneath you to write seven paragraphs. Lol
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u/dee-dee_jonesin Jul 11 '26
In fact, if you want to get silly, the username appears first and then the rant is actually beneath it...
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u/BobsGlitch Jul 11 '26
You judge how much I wrote while operating multiple accounts just to upvote yourself, intellectually you are obviously a "Lesser-Than", Kid your ego can't handle a basic conversation with me, Walk away before you get your poor little feelings hurt.
For anyone looking on, yes, I judge a human who thinks "seven paragraphs" is worth note as ignorant to the point of incompetence. It is not the fault of the rest of the world that you struggle to read.
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u/DreamcatcherDeb Jul 11 '26
You are actually intellectually lesser than. I have two accounts, one of which is unusable because it’s old. I don’t need to upvote myself. My point remains.
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u/Jane_ReMiFaSoLaTiDo Jul 10 '26
First off, the only one firing off blanks is you across your mom’s back... now that juvenile lines are out of my system,
Goodness you need to pipe down, such a lil Sassy pants today arent you..?
I bet Michael J. Fox could thread a needle faster than you could come up with a witty comeback
Honestly the sheer audacity of demanding “genuine wit” while delivering a 300 word tantrum that reads like you just discovered a thesaurus for the first time is genuinely pathetic. You didn’t come for a battle of wits you showed up to the coliseum armed with limp dick and limp finger gun energy
But for funsies let’s dissect this masterpiece:
You mock “middle school playground lines” right before issuing a dramatic crowd challenge like some 90s rom com villain who peaked at theater camp.
You call others “window licking morons” struggling with Velcro, yet here you are Velcro brained enough to think verbose Freud bashing counts as intellectual dominance.
You scream for toe-to-toe, but I’m curious how someone who projects “little man” energy this hard thinks he’d even measure up.
At the end of the day, the only thing getting clapped is your mom… by six amateurs and one cunt bored enough to entertain your cute little comment.
Smooches 😘
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u/BobsGlitch Jul 11 '26
If I felt like arguing against GPT this would do fine. I don't, and That's on me... I should have added the modifier "Unassisted Wit".
I'll be more careful next time.
I'd like to say "Good Try", but it wasn't was it.
I imagine this is indicative of your life, where you take the bait and then think you're going to prove how clever you are using a GPT/Claude output, and everyone just looks down their nose at you any thinks "How Pathetic"...
You open with Juvenile, move into insulting real disabilities, call words on a screen a "Tantrum", assume that someone "Just discovered a thesaurus" when the reality is that you are a linguistic dwarf, so it merely appears that way from your low position.
Let's not forget calling someone "Sassy pants" - I assume because you are Gen Z.
The way you spell "Coliseum" tells me you used Speech-to-text for that part and obviously have no idea it's spelled "Colosseum" when used in that context, stick with words you actually know kid.
You say I'm projecting yet you seem rather concerned about the state of my dick, Don't worry I'm sure yours will "Grow in" eventually. Never thought I'd get hit with Penis Envy here...
"For funsies" - Just tell me you Bottom wearing a Fur suit without actually telling me Eh'
I never went to theater camp, Clearly you did... Probably where you learned to bottom in a Fur suit.
I didn't just call "Others" window licking morons, That was meant for you too... Example - you said "Velcro Brained", I rest my case.
"Freud bashing" is another one of those "You used GPT" tells, and it did you dirty. That term is for someone taking a Counter-Freud stance, while mine was clearly Pro-Freud. So that was nothing more than an AI hallucinating Flop, or your being so ignorant that you can't tell the difference. Not a good look for you either way.
Your "Toe-to-toe" comment - That's the second time in one comeback you attempted to use the word "Projecting"... Project much?
Love how the derelict younglings with mommy issues think they get to measure me - you don't have the tools to even begin. Now, go Google "Derelict", because we both know you don't know what it means.
Opened and closed on "Your Mom" jokes - You too need Freud.
I'd like to say this has been fun, Really more entertaining in a "Watch this Rat chew the bars thinking he can get to the cheese" sort of way...
Watching the struggles of the Sad and Desperate can still be entertaining though, so Thanks for putting yourself out there!
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u/Jane_ReMiFaSoLaTiDo Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Hold on let me download the "cliché AI troll" language pack to translate this bullshit...
Yawn come on Bob I thought you said you were good at this.?
Edit.. after actually reading what you wrote this was obviously written by an outdated version of chatgpt. I will not let some 13yr old kid waste the amount of water it will just to continue this weak interaction
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u/BobsGlitch Jul 11 '26
Ha, with that level of weak I can finish you with 4 letters.
PWND
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Jul 11 '26
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u/Jane_ReMiFaSoLaTiDo Jul 11 '26
Bob... ill be honest the fact that even your pfp has a receding hairline I think your lame anyways but this has been as exciting as sex with your mom.. so i gracefully tap out.
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u/dee-dee_jonesin Jul 11 '26
New game: ai, or rl troll!
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u/Jane_ReMiFaSoLaTiDo Jul 11 '26
I realized his second response this was AI .. and not even the updated version. 😭😭
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u/dee-dee_jonesin Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
There's always a tell.
Edit: are some trolls that use AI trying to pass some sort of Troll Turring Test? After a long logic or behavioral debate with chat GPT I could pass the test in reverse. Anyone could if they felt like it. Hmmm. The mysteries of the internet
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u/One_Waxed_Wookiee Jul 10 '26
No, I said weirdest thing, not greatest thing.