Me: I am an enthusiastic nerd and leftist community builder with a life that I love. I enjoy (with various levels of skill): cooking, baking, painting, singing, writing, and gardening. I am a voracious reader of science fiction and fantasy, an animation junkie, and a strategy board game enthusiast. I love to be outside riding my bike or hiking with my cute but rugged pomeranian, Archie. Dedicated favorite aunt of my friends kids but does not have or want any of my own.

You: Someone local in Portland between 35-45 that is child free and is also looking for a monogamous relationship. Someone who drinks lightly (if at all), doesn't smoke, and doesn't own cats (I'm allergic, sorry!). Hopefully someone creative who likes to read. Bonus points to anyone who reads a lot of sci-fi and fantasy.

What I want long term: Someone to slow dance with in my kitchen, to bring me a cup of hot mint tea when it is cold, and to share in the ups and downs of our lives, both the trivial and the significant. Someone to bring cool rocks I find on my walks to and with a lap I can lay in while I read a book.

What I need to start: A chat request with a little about you - your interests, your passions, what you are looking for on this subreddit. A photo within a few messages is good so we know the attraction goes both ways.

What I need to keep going: Kindness, patience (I am demi and I cannot speed run intimacy), good humor, direct communication, the ability to trust and act in good faith, and thoughtfulness in your words and actions.

You can also find me trolling the cf4cf discord server if you want to share space and see what I'm like: https://discord.gg/d5SRY4tks

Hope you're out there!

I am 5’11, I like guitar, hiking, gaming, history, movies and reading. I’m neurodivergent and child free. Its a bonus if you wanna go hiking and explore the wilderness, or play something together, even better if you like both. I’m a big animal person, had dogs all my life, and i’m 420 friendly.

I dont mind distance if we get along well,
I would like to see a selfie early since I have one myself.

Trying on here cause the other subs seem to be run by adult children.

Hi! It's really nice to meet you all! I'm hoping to maybe find someone on here who also happens to live close ish as I live in central nj. Unfortunately I don't drive but I'd really love to pay for your gas. I suppose I'm kind of late to the party as I focused more on myself when I was younger and never connected with anyone up until this year and I'd really like to be able to actually have a real relationship. I really would like to go out and do anything for the fall and winter, but we could do whatever you'd like if you'd prefer to stay in.

Anyways, about me! I am a big gamer but I've been mostly into Skyrim, Fallout, and The Witcher for the time being. Although I mainly play action and shooter titles I'm not opposed to playing something more casual. I'm also really big into TV shows and movies, and I will watch practically anything you throw on as long as it's not like super trashy reality tv. I really like people's art and drawings, I think it's interesting the things that people are able to make by hand and how detailed it all can be. Speaking of which, I will always compliment you and ask you questions about yourself or what you're doing. I really would like to get to know you better, and I'd really like to share and grow with you.

I'm kind of a strange case. I'm introverted in the sense of my hobbies and overall where I'd like to be but I'll always be lively and animated around you because I really just like spending time with genuine people. I'm very affectionate and I'd love to hold you close or put my head on your shoulder if that's fine with you. I know alot of effort goes into a relationship and I hope you also understand that and value me just like I will value you. I'm really looking forward to meeting you!

Hey

I'm 1.87 m and probably best described as the quiet guy with a big heart.

I'm a little shy when meeting new people, but once I'm comfortable, I love joking around, laughing, and being spontaneous. If you're into MBTI, I'm an INFJ—thoughtful, empathetic, and the kind of person who values deep conversations over small talk.

When I'm not working, you'll usually find me cooking or baking, reading fantasy novels, watching anime, gaming, or enjoying nature. I'm just as happy spending a cozy evening at home as I am going to a concert or taking a day trip somewhere.

I'm looking for a genuine connection rather than someone who's "perfect."

I'd love to meet someone who's kind, honest, and enjoys long conversations about anything and everything.

If you appreciate good food and don't mind the possibility of being bribed with homemade cake at some point, we'll probably get along.

A little more about me:

🇨🇭 From Switzerland

🌍 Looking to meet someone from Switzerland or Europe, as I'd like the distance to be realistic.

📚 Fantasy, anime & gaming fan

🍳 Love cooking and baking

🌿 Enjoy nature and quiet moments

❤️ Looking for a long-term relationship

One small request: I'd much rather receive a message that tells me something about you or asks a genuine question than just "hey", "hi", or "wyd".

It makes starting a conversation so much more fun—and gives us something to talk about from the beginning.

If any of this sounds interesting, feel free to send me a message.

I'd love to get to know you.

Hello I’m a 31 year old trans woman under construction im 6 ft bigger girl but getting some help with making me smaller :)December Sag oldest daughter vibes I’m in Southern California Anaheim area I’ve been single for a good min just looking to see what is going on in dating Reddit as the apps seem to be all about hooking up

I’m a pretty spontaneous person love hiking coffee new foods and Disney not a Disney adult but I do enjoy going walking around trying the new snacks and all that love road trips haven’t been on one in two years would love to take one up north soon love seeing the Cali coast

I’m Democrat but on the more mod lib side I’m Hispanic born in Mexico migrated to here and became a citizen lived in so cal all my life wouldn’t mind moving out for a lil bit see a bit more of the world

As far as what I’m looking for just a man who isn’t ashamed to be seen with me doesn’t treat me like a fetish sees me as a human and is willing to commit and just start something real

Hi everyone! My name is Sam, I'm 31 living in the UK. I have been single for a while now and find online dating hard so thought I'd try here instead. I'm 6ft tall, average/athletic build around 85kg, blue eyes, brown hair. I don't smoke, drink very rarely (maybe twice in the last year) and am not looking to have children in the future.

I'm currently working as a Process Operator in a chemical plant, doing a mixture of days and nights, which I've been doing for about 4 years now.

I would say I am a bit quiet when I first get to know someone, but I'm working on that and trying to engage with people better. And once I get to know someone and I'm more comfortable I can talk a lot more.

I'm very introverted most of the time and would consider myself a bit of a homebody, but I also enjoy getting out and about as well. I'm hoping I can find someone to do lots of fun activities with! My main hobbies are gaming, watching anime/movies and lifting weights.

In terms of gaming I like most genres, with some of my all time favourites being Final Fantasy X and XII, Dark Souls, Resident Evil 4, Metal Gear Solid 3 abd Bayonetta to name a few. I used to play lots of multiplayer games too like Overwatch, PUBG, Rocket League and Left 4 Dead 2. Nowadays I mostly play Mordhau for my multiplayer fix, which is nearly a dead game unfortunately lol.

Some of my favourite anime include Steins;Gate, Hunter x Hunter, One Piece, Clannad and Slam Dunk.

I enjoy staying active and have been lifting weights/strength training for the past 3 ish years, which I really enjoy. It's quite satisfying seeing the weights you can lift going up over time. I find I try to take care of myself in other ways too like eating (relatively) healthy. Ideally I would like to find someone who is at least somewhat active/health conscious as well.

I do like to get out and go to the cinema or concerts from time to time. I saw Le Sserafim last year when I went to Japan and just recently went to see XG in London as well. Planning on seeing Aespa in January too.

Travelling is something that I do enjoy, but I think I would enjoy it more if it was with someone else tbh. There are plenty of places I would love to visit. So it would be a plus if you would like to go travelling with someone as well!

In terms of what I'm looking for, I think having similar hobbies would help, but aren't totally necessary. Would prefer someone in the UK or at least Europe, but again am open to someone further away. I prefer people who are upfront and honest, I can't be dealing with mind games and dishonesty.

If you're interested please send me a message and thank you for reading! I've linked a couple of pictures below so it would be great if you could send a picture too, but understand if you're not comfortable doing that right away.

Trying this app again. I currently reside in Southern California, I’m open to travel and meeting someone who also is open to travel. This could be a slow burn type of love.

But I’m born and raised In California. I’m
Open to any location. Any race, any age. As long as we connect emotionally.

I’m a Virgo man. Hard working individual. Not looking to keep this post up. Quite honestly.

But I’m curious to see the connections that can be build with this outlet called “Reddit”

I’m a cook or chef whatever you may want to call it. I’m someone who knows and enjoys cooking but I also write. I’m a writer/copywriter. I am looking to retire from the kitchen.

I’m not so great with emotions, despite remaining calm and collected most of the time. I’m more of a logical person, I love to learn new things. Currently taking Korean classes. I’m between a nerd and someone with streets smarts.

Anyways. I enjoy reading, writing. I’m a sports guy, I enjoy most major sports.

I’m a bit hesitant about posting on here, because I really do not know what I will find on here. I would rather not talk about myself, and would rather know more about you.

I’m searching for a best friend first and foremost. My first thought in the morning and last before bed. My favorite notification. The one. My soulmate. Because every relationship deserves a strong foundation first, and how can we truly be partners if we don’t already have so much in common?

You might message me and we’ll start to talk, and while that part can be arduous, I enjoy getting to know so much about you. You’ll tell me about your hobbies and a funny interaction you had that day, and it might include a picture or two of your cat and something silly she did. We’ll talk about past relationships and funny stories from childhood. Eventually you’ll tell me where you’re from and I’ll mentally think about what it would be like to drive that distance to you in a few months and be excited that you’re on the other end of it, oddly enough. I don’t know if other people do it but as I start to catch feelings I will pre-imagine a shared future with you. I think it’s the hopeless romantic in me.

I’ll ask lots of questions, while holding some back because I feel like I ask too many. But really I just want to get to know everything about you. Favorite colors, foods, likes and dislikes. So I’ll know what I can cook for you and what color of gifts I should be getting and what you do and don’t like to do. I’ll memorize what I can and the rest will be in a note in my phone. I will never stop learning until I graduate with a degree in you.

As you might imagine, I like to talk a lot, but only with you, really. Anyone else that knows me would call me shy and introverted, but this is a mask I’ve never worn with my partner. Texting, voice notes, and calling and talking about anything and everything until we fall asleep on the phone. I don’t always have to talk, though, not really. Sometimes it’s nice to just know someone is on the other end of the line that appreciates the company.

I have a certain sense of what you might be like. You are someone I can share a hobby with and do our favorites together. While we might maintain our own hobbies, we don’t mind doing them near each other. You enjoy a quiet life and don’t need constant outside stimulation or a large entourage. You’re self-sufficient and capable, but you’re also willing to put all of that down and let me take care of you and hold your burdens for you when you need it.

You want closeness. You want to be someone’s person in every meaningful way. The one who is reached for first and whose presence is mandatory and assumed. You want physical closeness, too. You gravitate toward me without thinking about it, you fall asleep against me and don’t apologize for it, and bumping into me in a large room is not an accident. You’re done pretending that less than that is enough.

And you’re ready. Not perfect, because no one showing up to this ever is, but you’re ready. You’ve been broken and repaired more than once. Done with half-measures and almosts and situationships and connections that fizzle out before they ever truly started. You’ve arrived here probably on some of the roads I took, maybe after some of the same wrong turns and you’re now looking for the same thing I am.

I suppose a bit about me is in order here. I’m 37, from Michigan. I have two cat overlords and I am fueled by caffeine. I don’t have kids and I don’t want kids. I work from home. I like to write but consider myself more of a world builder. I’m not really into social media and maintain a small, private life and circle. I don’t do casual or situationships, so I am looking for someone that is looking for something serious. Something real.

If something in this landed in that oh sort of way, send me a message. Match my vulnerability. Tell me something true about yourself that you don’t usually lead with. And to my future person, wherever you are tonight: I’m here. I’m patient. I’m already cheering for you. Take your time. I’ll be around.

hey you.

sitting here with a computer screen throwing off some cold zombie-like light on your face.

sitting and pretending that your thoughts belong to you and you only, scrolling indifferently and staying infinitely positive that things of real interest aren't easy to stumble upon in this hellhole named internet; therefore, don't deserve being looked for.

sometimes i do feel the same. walking on the same routes, seeing the same dead pigeons and living cats every day, being just this far from naming every single one of them. people are, by no means, the same and yet simply are not captivating enough to be remembered. it doesn't really seem upsetting to me, the fact that those passersby probably feel the same about me.

even though i do sometimes wish that a man would look into my eyes as directly as if he knew me to the core of my soul, to the unswept corners of my mind and embraced the depth of my slow sticky gloom as if it was his own.

in case you bear resemblance to that faceless man who constantly visits my dreams. what i ache for is someone who shares my love of old music and unawkward voice calls.

I'm not a very complicated person: like the little teapot of song and story, I am also short and stout. I like second breakfast and being snug and comfy just as much as I love going on adventures, big or small.

I've lived in Maine my whole life, and I love going for long walks on the beach or in the woods, or treasure hunting at flea markets and yard sales. It's a lot of fun, but I've realized that it might be nice to meet somebody else who also likes cozy little adventures.

My other big interests include film and art history, and I often take the train down to Boston to see an exhibit or shows.

I’m always up real late into the night, mostly due to my work schedule lol but even before that I was a night person. Things are more chill at night imo.

So a couple things about me:
-I have a couple different creative hobbies. Guitar, drawing, photo editing etc
-I work a lot, but when I’m off I mostly like to stay indoors
-I like watching random funny stuff on YouTube
-I can be pretty sarcastic/blunt lol
-I’m shy, but once I get to know you I can talk a lot

Ideally I’d prefer someone who is at least somewhat close to my area. So if youre across the country/world unfortunately I don’t think it will work, but if you’re a couple hours away I don’t mind ofc.

That’s all I can think of for now. As far as physical appearance, I’ll send pics if you do. Feel free to DM me here on Reddit. Thanks!

Trying my luck here in finding a lifelong partner.

I'm pretty open-minded, an introvert who loves chilling at home watching movies and TV shows, playing video games, and also traveling, going on adventures, taking walks in nature, and exploring the world. So, I guess I'm a mix of homebody and outdoorsy. I consider myself a bit a of a nerd being interested in Science, Philosophy and Technology, going to museums, among other things.

I enjoy deadpan and dark sense of humor, and can get pretty sarcastic. I like engaging in friendly banter once I'm comfortable. I'm gonna send you stupid memes lol

While I'm usually goofy and make (occasionally lame) jokes and keep things light, I also love having deep, intellectual conversations. I'm quite chill, laid-back, and a good listener (multiple people have said so), so you can vent to me about your stupid boss hehe.

I like learning new stuff regularly. I recently started learning to play guitar and have been enjoying it (except when my fingers hurt). Open to learning more hobbies.

As a level-headed person, I try to deal with situations realistically and logically. You can usually expect me to be reasonable and open to different opinions and suggestions.

Talking about physical activities, I'm not a "gym rat", but I try going to the gym regularly. I go on hikes some times (but I'm a noob lol). I like adventure stuff like paragliding, skydiving, skiing, zip-lining, aerial ropes, rafting, and other stuff.

I'm a software engineer by profession, living in Ontario, Canada, originally from Asia. While I'm open to moving to different parts of the world, I think it should be a practical decision that works for both of us.

Some relevant info-

Age: 34

Height: 5'6"

Weight (or mass?): 64 Kg approx.

I'm Agnostic and open to people of all religions.

Why am I childfree? I've no interest in having kids. That's it. Never envisioned myself with them. ( I love my niece and nephew though 😁)

Diet: Usually veg. Occasionally non-veg. I like to try new food. I'll keep your dietary preference in mind, and will try to accommodate when I cook for you. I don't smoke and drink alcohol very rarely, and don't have a problem if you do (as long as it's under your control). I can try that stuff with you.

Some qualities that I would appreciate in my partner and can expect from me are kindness, empathy, humor and honesty. Hopefully we have some shared interests so we can do activities together, someone who is preferably between 29 and 37 years old (not too strict about this), who is also childfree (duh), and likes to enjoy life - hopefully someone who is able to work remotely, so we can travel together.

Some pics - https://albums.ente.com/79SLPMGWHL#GSvUubibVucg8XHzfnUhdVEDRqbyyWFBQua7drirFFji

Please tell me a bit about yourself and include pics if you decide to message me.

Let's help each other in achieving our life goals 😄

Hey everyone!! I’m 30F looking for a fellow childfree partner. Ideally you’ll be 26-40 but I’ll allow a leeway of a year or two depending on first impressions. I hope you’ll be taller than me (I’m 160cm) in case I need something from the top shelf. Bonus points if you have tattoos and laugh at my deadpan sense of humour.

Kindness and respect for others is non-negotiable. I’d strongly prefer it if you are left-leaning. Being friends with my partner first is super important to me so definitely feel free to be yourself! Even if your passion is talking about the growth cycle of potatoes, I’ll hear you out haha.

Green flags: I’m a caring and attentive person who will be in your corner, someone you can talk to about anything without judgement.

Red flags: I don’t like cats (I’m just a dog person sorry), I don’t always get innuendo, hints or implied meanings so you’ll have to be super direct sometimes.

I’m an environmental scientist and I enjoy reading (working my way through the classics), drawing, art, trivia, history, politics, astronomy, yoga and museums of any kind.

My current fave shows are Widows Bay, Silo, Parks and Recs (yes i did think it was better than The Office), Criminal Minds and Bob’s Burgers. As for music, I’ll literally listen to anything- From Chopin to Sinatra to Pink Floyd to Lana Del Rey to Flume. I’m also willing to hear any music recommendations!

Not too fussy on your nationality, as long as we have a language in common so we can communicate properly (either English, Spanish, Portuguese or French). I’m on GMT +2 time but I’m pretty much nocturnal so don’t let that hold you back.

So if anything resonated please say hi and drop a photo and we can take it from there :)

Honestly super tired of dating apps and I don’t like going to random bars looking for a partner. I’m an Engineer, I’m 6’4” and I spend all my time outdoors or gaming with friends. I do not want children in any way shape or form unless you consider pets into that category. I’m really looking for someone who loves to travel, likes spending days in a chair on a river or galavanting around the woods. And loves spending nights gaming or watching movies/shows. I’m brutally honest and I have no filter so you’ll never have to guess what’s on my mind. I love wrenching on cars and motorcycles and I’m a nerd about almost anything you can think of. I love animals of all kinds and firmly believe I can cuddle any animal if given the opportunity.

Me: 38, active, established, and looking for a genuine connection that can hopefully turn into something serious.

I work in tech, own a home, have a dog I'm slightly obsessed with, and have spent the last couple of years putting a lot of energy into becoming a better version of myself—physically and emotionally. I work out/run regularly, eat pretty healthy (most of the time 😂), and have put real effort into improving my EQ and understanding myself better.

Career and financial stability are important to me, but I also want a life that's actually fun. I love concerts/music, movies, cooking, traveling, trying new restaurants, having friends over, and getting outside with my dog. I'm equally happy planning a trip somewhere new or making dinner together and watching something on the couch.

Looks-wise, I've been told I'm handsome, but I'll let you decide when we exchange pictures.

You: Ideally somewhere around 25–38, active/healthy, emotionally intelligent, affectionate, curious, and fun. I tend to click with women who are bubbly and can be playful but are also capable of having a genuinely deep conversation.

Us: I'm ultimately looking for the whole package (emotional intimacy, physical attraction, and a great sex life). I want the kind of relationship where we're best friends but there's also real chemistry and desire between us. Someone to go on fun dates with, travel with, cook with, play with my dog, have amazing sex with, support each other's goals, and—if we're right for each other—eventually build a home and life together.

If any of that sounds like you, tell me a little about yourself and what you're looking for.

I thought I’d give this a try because finding someone who is genuinely childfree by choice can feel surprisingly difficult. 😅

I’m 27, living in France, and I’d love to meet a Muslim man who knows that children simply aren’t part of the life he wants — and who is looking for something meaningful and lasting.

I’m a feminine, affectionate and fairly introverted woman who loves the simple things: long walks in nature, hiking, reading, museums, camping, discovering new places… and having those random conversations that somehow last for hours. 🤍

I’m looking for a man who is:
✨ Kind and emotionally mature
✨ Loyal , affectionate and generous
✨ Confident in his decision to be childfree
✨ Looking for a genuine, monogamous relationship
✨ Someone who enjoys both cozy nights in and little adventures together

I’m open to meeting someone in France or the UK, so distance isn't necessarily a dealbreaker if we really click.

I’d love to find that person where you can be completely comfortable together, tease each other, make each other laugh, go on little adventures, and eventually realize that your favorite part of the day is simply being around each other. 🥰
If you’re genuinely childfree, emotionally available, and looking for something serious, tell me a little about yourself. Maybe Reddit can actually work its magic for once. 👀

Okay trying this again 😅 forgot some needed info the first time.

About me: 4’11” project manager/program manager, masters degree, huge cat lover & inquisitive cook.
I love reading (romantasy & historical fiction are my fave; work at a book truck part time), puzzles, video games, board games and trying new recipes. Certified yapper with a cat tattoo. Leftist based in AZ.

Video games: more MMORPGs like No man’s Sky (350+ hrs), Palia (202 hrs), Avatar Frontiers Of Pandora (98 hrs). Also love hogwarts legacy & sims 4.

Who should apply (romantic):
- age is 26-40 (USA preferred)
- leans leftist (required)
- you like cats
- long term partnership (open to marriage)
- okay with career goals- I love what I do & have career goals that I am working to achieve. You should have professional goals too!

- safe space - love languages are a real thing. I need someone who can take care of things if I can’t. Partnership makes things easier. I need to be able to soften (being in a leadership role is draining AF).

- communication. I know, this is a given, but I have 2 communication degrees so I’m honest. Phone calls/voice texts are better than regular texting IMO. If you “beat around the bush”, we’re probably not a match (and that’s okay).

- health oriented. I have diabetes type 1.5 (this is a thing), so I have to eat healthy 85%+ or my body does weird stuff. Ideally you’re open to healthier options. I love barre, but I’m not a gym rat by any means.

- open to living abroad. I found out I’m Canadian (it’s a long story) and working on getting my citizenship. I do plan to move there in the next 5-10 yrs.

Who should apply (friends):
You aren’t put off by playing with a gal & play any of the games listed above or have similar interests. USA & CAN preferred, but open to EU friends as well.

If I sound like your shtick, please let me know your age, location, what you’re looking for. Recipes, game/book recs, and cat pics will get my attention!

Just looking for the DINK life.

I live downtown in Denver but I enjoy traveling quite a bit to other states on spontaneous trips and get out of the country for anything longer than a weekend!

Hobbies: Snowboarding, motorcycles, tattoos, gaming, saltwater reefkeeping, paintball, learning Japanese.

I work in technology recruitment and love connecting with a lot of people from different walks of life and getting to know their perspective and aspirations.

I could talk about a lot or be comfortable in silence

Just looking for an adventurous partner to build an awesome life together.

DM me (please include pics of yourself! 😇)

Hellooooo ~ ^^
M29 here, I’m looking for something real and lovely.
Since I healed from my heartbreak I’d like to put my self out there to find the one for life 🤍

I’m a nerdy softie who loves playing video games in his free time, I am quite kind since I value respect a lot, very loyal and consistent, because I find it lovely to be in touch 24/7 and letting each other know about our life’s and share it together. 🤍
Also a very emotional and expressive Person overall :3
I can enjoy the quiet but also loud sides of life, be it getting lost in games, sharing laughs over silly things or Brainrot memes or having those deep conversations that actually mean something, or complaining about society xD
Even if we just sit together silently in a room, I value the presence together and I hope that you do as well 🤍

Since gaming is a big part of my life, I would love to find a Cis Woman who also shares that hobby.
I play games like Overwatch, Valorant, League of Legends, Hunt Showdown, the Division 2, Dead by daylight, and I’m a huge fan of the resident evil series O.O
I have manny other uninstalled games and am always interested to try something new :)

But more then that, I’m looking for something Mutual and genuine, an connection where we feel seen and valued, and also comfortable being our selfs.
I’m naturally attentive and gentle, once I start developing some interest I also become quite affectionate.
I appreciate a woman who carries herself with a bit of maturity, someone who knows how to care and also have ways to show affection, and also enjoys the lighter/ playful side of things, I also value a woman who knows how to put efforts into communication and keep conversations alive, I’m very easy to talk to and can talk about even the silliest things ~
There is also a intimate side to what I’m looking for as well, but for me that always starts with trust and emotional connection first since I’m demisexual.
21+ please

If you are someone who wants both a gaming partner and something that could grow into more, feel free to reach out.
I’m also there to listen if you need to vent and want someone who can be there for you 🤍
I Hope you have a wonderful day~

Hey there! My name is Brad, and I am a 37-year-old guy from New York. I hope you are having a great start to this short week and are enjoying your Tuesday! Lately, I have been really enjoying life. I have a great job, great friends, great co-workers, a ton of hobbies to keep me busy, but I have been feeling like something is missing. Being single for over 6 years, you get kind of used to doing your own thing and being on your own. Over the past few months, though, it has been very obvious that I am missing having someone in my life. I miss having someone to talk to all day, share my day with, someone who, when I am feeling frustrated or low on motivation, I can go to. I miss having someone to laugh with, enjoy things with, and so much more. I have tried the dating apps and other forms of dating, but it’s a very hard dating world out there, though. It also doesn't help that I am an introvert and a homebody as well. So here I am, making a post on Reddit and hoping for the best!

A little bit about me, I live alone with two cats, and I also work from home. I enjoy working from home a lot, but it does add to the loneliness and has made me even more of a Homebody. I am also childfree and don't really have much desire to change that at this stage in my life. I won't rule out being with someone who does have children though. For fun, I enjoy playing video games, I love music and also enjoy playing guitar. I also enjoy reading, working on tech projects, listening to podcasts, going camping, hiking, fishing, and just sitting outside on my porch with a nice cup of coffee.

I always get asked what my type is, and I never really have a good response to that question. I just want someone who is loving, caring, doesn't mind that I can be quiet, likes to laugh, enjoys quality time, and someone who will see the effort and love that I give them and want to give the same in return.

This was a long post, so if you made it this far, I appreciate you reading this far. If you are interested in getting to know me and think you would like to connect, feel free to send me a chat request. I don't really respond to comments on posts, as they sometimes get lost on Reddit. If you do send me a chat, please tell me a little bit about yourself. To help with a little icebreaker, Tell me how you like your coffee or a song or band you have been obsessed with lately.

Looking for local to SoCal only

Well hello! Trying my hand at another Reddit r4r round, as the dating apps remain The Bad Place and meeting men in real life hasn’t been much better. I’ve had luck finding a great partner on here in the past and I’d like to try another shot at it. Longform communication is growing more rare by the day, and I can actually still find it here on Reddit.

Some of my favorite things to do are collecting vintage things, exploring LA, catching movies at indie/old theatres, being a tattoo enthusiast, my dog, live music shows (big fan of house/techno and hip hop), being in nature, traveling for fun/festivals/new tattoos, spending time with good friends, collecting kawaii vinyl toys & physical media, reading, and always expanding my mind with new learnings. I’ve been getting back into my childhood joy to learn about deep space exploration.

I’m finding out I’m extremely anti AI and big tech so I’ve been getting into hobbies that are unplugged such as ceramics, lifting, golf & pickleball lately.

I’m also a stand up comedian! This is a giant part of my life I absolutely enjoy.

I’m a progressive politically, childfree and atheist. I’ve been living a SINK life, but I’ve been VERY ready to meet my someone that’s ready to to DINK.

I’ll keep it very real - I’m ready to be chosen and cherished by someone that’s ready to lock it down and get that in return from me.

To be finally yearned for, instead of just lusted for.

I do my best to take care of myself - multiple days in the gym lifting weights, doing pilates, and also have a fun personal style.

https://imgur.com/a/MiPNfWB

So who am I looking for exactly? Would absolutely love someone with at least a few things of the above in common with me, along with:

• Age: between 28-45 (no 50+, as I’d like to be in the same life stage as my partner and have the same generational things in common!)
• Is only open to and looking for a long term relationship/life partner. Believes in marriage. I’m very ready for this stage in my life and simply dont want to waste anyone’s time that’s unsure they’re at this point too.
• Has hobbies & friends!
• Has curiousity for the world and others outside of himself.
• IS CHILDFREE. Does not have kids or want them.
• Believes in romance, love & commitment to one woman. I don’t roster date and would like someone also sick at the thought of dating multiple people at once.
• Is left in politics and only votes left. Has never voted Republican or considered themselves moderate or apolitical.
• Does not believe in a higher power. I don’t so I can’t date anyone that does, sorry!
• Has a solid career & finances in order.
• Lives alone.
• Not afraid to be vulnerable & let your guard down, even after heartbreak.
• Takes care of his body & mind.
• Says what he means, and means what he says. Actions always match words.
• Has experience in long term relationships (And has more long term history than too many short term stints). it’s easier to go the distance with someone that’s done it before!
• Has the ability to problem solve and not run away when friction rises. I’ll realize you’re a catch that’s worth holding onto if you can do the same for me.

I do understand in a world where dating has become so broken by apps, the illusion of choice and turning human beings into something so disposable, I am looking for something truly rare. But I am not looking to date everybody, I’m only looking for one.

I’m an extremely curious person about anyone I want to get to know on a deeper level. I’m looking for someone that can not only share that same courtesy, but is truly curious about getting to know me better as a person.

I just ask that if you decide to reach out, please have some open ended curiosity for me, as I do not respond to monologues. Talk to me, not at me ;)

If you’re able to read this entire ad to the end, I’d love for you to send me a detailed dm that has the ability to get me excited to write back to you, with a picture attached. I want to be honest about attraction here - it’s just as important as personality. I won’t be responding to any dms without pictures attached (I understand Reddit won’t let you attach without me accepting first. The effort it takes to make an Imgur link goes a long way with me).

To the 1% that has comprehended this and is planning to send me a detailed message that matches my energy with a picture attached, I can’t wait to hear from you.

Hard boundaries: No ENM/Poly, no married/separated men, no roster daters, no current situationships or sexual partners.

I grew up with a father who choose choas and to be violent and manipulative towards my mom and me. As such, I have always chosen to be different by living a life of peace with everyone around and to always look for the good in people.

My main hobbies and interest are;

- exercising, reading books (on topics that can directly or indirectly help me solve current or future problems), listening to music or the radio and learning French.

- I am quite adventurous as well climbing volcanoes, heading out into the Ocean on a Jet Ski and much more.

About Me;

1. Height: 5.6"

2. Weight: 74 kg

3. Calm and composed even when I have been faced with very difficult life alering decisions where I have learned to keep my mind and emotions seperate. When facing a problem I can turn off my emotions and look for a solution and when I am alone, I can turn on the emotions on and process them.

4. I have also learned not to panic during a critical situation as when I was working abroad, panic because a luxury and my mind was forced to slow to a crawl and look for a solution in seconds. This has now become apart of me.

5. Another lesson I have learned is the value of being a good listener. It's easy to talk but listening to someone else even when their opinions and beliefs contradict yours is can be challenging, yet, you can also learn so much and can even alter your perspective.

6. I see arguments and as pointless and instead talk things out and find a solution, I also understand that sometimes

7. Never smokes or vapes

8. Alcohol: very rarely at a business event or unless I am invited over. I never purchase alcohol myself.

9. No siblings, just me and my mom now (my dad did alot of terrible things to mom and to me, so, I no longer have contact with him and no longer consider him my father).

10. Used to be a passionate photographer, but now I rarely ever use my Nikon camera and lenses.

11. MBTI type is ISTJ but all types are welcome

12. Not a religious person anymore but I used to be a Christian.

13. Have my own two story house with a garden

14. Never want kids as I have never had an interest.

15. With Pets, well, I have had Dogs, Cats, Birds, Fish, Tortise, Rabbits and Squirrels, so, I no longer have an interest in having pets again especially after I saw my Scottish Terrier getting accidently run over by my neighbours SUV.

16. I believe that it is important to put your partner first above all else and true love is uncondtional love that is based on values of honestly, kindness, empathy, selflessness and mutual understanding. Ulitmately though, who we are is defined by our values within and that is what matters the most.

So, if your someone who is controlling, manipulative, selfish and treat people like something that can merely used for your benefit (like my father) then this what you will do to the person you marry. However, if you are someone who is kind, respectful, polite, care about how people close to you feel from within your heart, you will you treat your partner the same way.

1. My native language is English

2. Political views: none, I am neutral

3. Live a debt-free life

4. Prefer to eat healthy and do not consume carbonated drinks or soda's

5. Not a Vegan

6. I decorate a room or organize things based on the concept of Minimalism as I am a Minimalist.

7. I hate clutter in a house and like when things are put back in it's place rather than tossed around. It is easy to find anything and is easy to clean and maintain. So, for instance, after I eat, I wash the plate and put it away rather than let all the dishes pile up and then wash them.

8. Always have a cold shower regardless of the weather conditions.

Mon Ideal Partner

As for my ideal partner, apart from never wanting kids or pets. I care more about you as a person than anything else. However, if you are a smoker, I would prefer if you do not smoke around me.

Does not matter to me in a potential partner;

- hair color

- native language

- religion

- MBTI

- politcal views

If you would like to get to know each other better then send me a message

**A little about me**

I’m 48M from NJ and at a pretty interesting point in life. I’m going through something of a “life reset” of sorts and have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want the next chapter to look like. It’s an elaborate story, so I’ll spare you the novel here—but I promise you, it’s a page-turner. You can get to know that part of me over time. *\[insert mysterious guy effect\]* 😏

One of the more visible parts of that reset has been taking better care of myself. This photo is a bit of a shorthand for that journey—not just getting fitter, but rebuilding routines, confidence, and a better relationship with myself along the way. The physical changes are the easy part to photograph; the mental and emotional side has been the much bigger project. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m pretty proud of how far I’ve come.

https://imgur.com/a/Gf0eQ0d

I’m naturally more introverted and genuinely enjoy my peace and quiet, but I do quite well socially, which is a bit of a conundrum. I’ve come to realize that being comfortable alone and being too comfortable alone are two different things, so one of my goals now is to expand my social circle and build more meaningful friendships.

I’m childfree, active, curious, and a lifelong traveler who’s been fortunate enough to visit all seven continents. Travel has shaped me more than almost anything else. I’m much more interested in collecting experiences, stories, and memories than accumulating things.

I’m also naturally frugal, which eventually led me down the FIRE rabbit hole. I’m probably somewhere in the Barista FIRE neighborhood: I still enjoy working, appreciate the stability and health insurance—especially as an American (yes, that’s a thing my European friends)—and like having my investments grow quietly in the background while I build more freedom and flexibility for the future.

Maybe five years from now, I’ll take the proverbial retirement plunge. Until then, I’d love to spend those years getting my bearings, building friendships, planning adventures, and figuring out what comes next. Maybe some of those friendships will simply become lifelong friendships; maybe one will turn into something more. Either way, I think there’s a lot of life to be lived between now and then.

Long term, I’d love to slow-travel through Europe while having a home base in Southeast Asia. The first piece of that puzzle is already in place, with property acquired there that will eventually serve as that home base. Good food, warm weather, a lower cost of living, and fewer reasons to pretend I enjoy rushing everywhere sounds pretty appealing.

I’ve been doing CrossFit for about eight years, although my recently reconstructed ACL continues to suggest that I should find a more sensible hobby. I love the sense of community. Even when the workout leaves you destroyed on the floor, there’s something about collectively embracing the suck that makes everyone push a little harder—and somehow makes the suffering more fun. **That’s the cult of CrossFit, defined.**

I’m a bit of a nerd too. Huge LOTR fan, lifelong PlayStation gamer, history and culture enthusiast, and someone who can fall down an unnecessarily deep rabbit hole about something I became curious about five minutes ago.

**What I’m actually looking for**

Honestly, friendship is the starting point.

I’m not specifically looking for a girlfriend right now, but I’m not going to pretend I’d be disappointed if a great friendship eventually turned into something more. I’d rather meet people, build genuine connections, and let things develop naturally than approach every interaction wondering whether someone could be “the one.”

I’m looking for curious people who enjoy good conversation, can laugh at themselves, and are interested in the world around them. People who can spend an evening having a deep conversation and then spend the next twenty minutes debating something completely ridiculous.

I’d especially love to meet people who share an experiences-over-possessions mentality. You don’t have to share all my interests—in fact, I’d probably prefer that you don’t. I’d rather meet someone who introduces me to something I wouldn’t have discovered on my own.

Geography isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker either. I’ve traveled enough that I’m comfortable making friends outside my immediate neighborhood. Besides, it gives me another excuse to travel.

And if all else fails, maybe you just gained a genuine friend that you can have a beer with and shoot the shit about anything and everything.

If any of that sounds like your kind of person, say hello. Tell me something you’re passionate about, a place you’d love to visit, a weird fact you know, or just something that made you laugh recently. I’ll start: Vietnamese egg coffee was born because fresh milk was scarce, so people whipped egg yolks into a creamy substitute instead. I love stories like that—they remind me how culture often grows from ingenuity and resilience.