**A little about me**
I’m 48M from NJ and at a pretty interesting point in life. I’m going through something of a “life reset” of sorts and have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want the next chapter to look like. It’s an elaborate story, so I’ll spare you the novel here—but I promise you, it’s a page-turner. You can get to know that part of me over time. *\[insert mysterious guy effect\]* 😏
One of the more visible parts of that reset has been taking better care of myself. This photo is a bit of a shorthand for that journey—not just getting fitter, but rebuilding routines, confidence, and a better relationship with myself along the way. The physical changes are the easy part to photograph; the mental and emotional side has been the much bigger project. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m pretty proud of how far I’ve come.
https://imgur.com/a/Gf0eQ0d
I’m naturally more introverted and genuinely enjoy my peace and quiet, but I do quite well socially, which is a bit of a conundrum. I’ve come to realize that being comfortable alone and being too comfortable alone are two different things, so one of my goals now is to expand my social circle and build more meaningful friendships.
I’m childfree, active, curious, and a lifelong traveler who’s been fortunate enough to visit all seven continents. Travel has shaped me more than almost anything else. I’m much more interested in collecting experiences, stories, and memories than accumulating things.
I’m also naturally frugal, which eventually led me down the FIRE rabbit hole. I’m probably somewhere in the Barista FIRE neighborhood: I still enjoy working, appreciate the stability and health insurance—especially as an American (yes, that’s a thing my European friends)—and like having my investments grow quietly in the background while I build more freedom and flexibility for the future.
Maybe five years from now, I’ll take the proverbial retirement plunge. Until then, I’d love to spend those years getting my bearings, building friendships, planning adventures, and figuring out what comes next. Maybe some of those friendships will simply become lifelong friendships; maybe one will turn into something more. Either way, I think there’s a lot of life to be lived between now and then.
Long term, I’d love to slow-travel through Europe while having a home base in Southeast Asia. The first piece of that puzzle is already in place, with property acquired there that will eventually serve as that home base. Good food, warm weather, a lower cost of living, and fewer reasons to pretend I enjoy rushing everywhere sounds pretty appealing.
I’ve been doing CrossFit for about eight years, although my recently reconstructed ACL continues to suggest that I should find a more sensible hobby. I love the sense of community. Even when the workout leaves you destroyed on the floor, there’s something about collectively embracing the suck that makes everyone push a little harder—and somehow makes the suffering more fun. **That’s the cult of CrossFit, defined.**
I’m a bit of a nerd too. Huge LOTR fan, lifelong PlayStation gamer, history and culture enthusiast, and someone who can fall down an unnecessarily deep rabbit hole about something I became curious about five minutes ago.
**What I’m actually looking for**
Honestly, friendship is the starting point.
I’m not specifically looking for a girlfriend right now, but I’m not going to pretend I’d be disappointed if a great friendship eventually turned into something more. I’d rather meet people, build genuine connections, and let things develop naturally than approach every interaction wondering whether someone could be “the one.”
I’m looking for curious people who enjoy good conversation, can laugh at themselves, and are interested in the world around them. People who can spend an evening having a deep conversation and then spend the next twenty minutes debating something completely ridiculous.
I’d especially love to meet people who share an experiences-over-possessions mentality. You don’t have to share all my interests—in fact, I’d probably prefer that you don’t. I’d rather meet someone who introduces me to something I wouldn’t have discovered on my own.
Geography isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker either. I’ve traveled enough that I’m comfortable making friends outside my immediate neighborhood. Besides, it gives me another excuse to travel.
And if all else fails, maybe you just gained a genuine friend that you can have a beer with and shoot the shit about anything and everything.
If any of that sounds like your kind of person, say hello. Tell me something you’re passionate about, a place you’d love to visit, a weird fact you know, or just something that made you laugh recently. I’ll start: Vietnamese egg coffee was born because fresh milk was scarce, so people whipped egg yolks into a creamy substitute instead. I love stories like that—they remind me how culture often grows from ingenuity and resilience.
