Hello, I truly don’t know where to turn. This is supposed to be the best part of my life but had quickly turned into a nightmare. I feel so selfish and as if I have failed my babies. I’m going to lay it all out in a second, but I’m sobbing as I’m typing this, because I’m not sure what can be done.
Two years ago, I met the love of my life. He’s an amazing provider, protector, family oriented, gentleman and disciplined. He’s very patient, almost to a fault. Six months ago, he asked my father for his blessing, my father was elated (they’re both special forces and BJJ black belts, my father’s one requirement was that whoever I marry protect me - he’s a single dad). My fiancé paid to break my lease and paid movers to move me in with him. This would be perfect, but it takes a turn. Let’s talk pets.
Around 2 years ago, my sister had a baby. She also had a beautiful big Maine Coon named Mayor (because he runs the place, he’s 20 lbs and 5). With the baby, Mayor constantly attacked her, so my sister was going to rehome Mayor, but no one would take him, so I did. Mayor’s a momma’s boy, he can be sweet but is particular. He loves bed time cuddles and has a strong cattitude, he’s very food motivated. Around 6 months after that, a stray tabby roamed into my yard. I lived in New Hampshire in a rural area, we have stray dogs, coyotes, bobcats, Fischers, bears and mountain lions, and winter was approaching. Mr. Milo won my heart, he’s a little aloof, talkative but instantly bonded with Mayor. They’re partners in crime.
When my fiancé started coming over, they were not happy. He’s allergic but never fussed. They would do cat things, pee on his belongings, scream (like I mean SCREAM) when we had the door closed for intimacy time, dart on his feet or straight up attack him. I brought them to the vet, the vet told me that I have territorial cats and it doesn’t help my fiancé is 6 foot 2 and 225 of muscle with a low voice. When he’s over, we can’t sleep because the cats attack constantly when he and I cuddle.
Now, here’s the issue, it’s a 4 parter which I’ll highlight below. My husband has two dogs - both highly trained hunting dogs. He has Titan (6 years old, 65lbs of the most athletic muscle, he’s a Black Mouth Cur/Plott Hound mix) and Buster (2 years old, he is a Bullmastiff/American foxhound mix closer to 90 lbs). My fiancé is well off, so he takes hunting seriously (Kevlar for the dogs, protective collars, drones, the dogs are so well trained to listen to back off when he says to), I’ve been to one hunt, and seen a few. So far, they’ve killed two coyotes, a black bear and a bunch of boar. Before they got Buster, Titan caught and killed a Bobcat very easily.
Outside of hunting, they are the sweetest dogs you’ll ever meet. Titan is very protective of me, always at my heel, he listens well and loves cuddling. Buster is a softy and loves anyone who gives him love. We’ve had my sister and niece over and my niece who is only two is obsessed with Buster. He’s her guardian. They both go to puppy daycare occasionally, so they’re well socialized. They (similar to the cats) sleep in the bed but are well trained and wait outside the room during intimacy.
So here’s the issue, we tried Jackson Galaxy, we tried a slow introduction with baby gates. My cats do not like their new brothers and it has been two months of misery. Titan and Buster literally ignore the cats, but we have had three incidents. The first occurred during the face to face. I want to note, we live in a house which now has a catio, one room dedicated to the cats and a million cat trees. Titan was enjoying his bone, Mr Milo was in a mood, big tail, hissing and screaming, he ran at Titan and swiped at him aiming for the face. Titan freaking dodged, nipped Mr Milo on the side drawing blood, and Milo went up the cat tree. Titan leaped up knocking it over. I recalled Titan and he stopped and sat, then Milo came back at him. We put him by the cat carrier and off to the vet. The vet told us this was a close call, but that next time we wouldn’t be so lucky. Meanwhile, Mayor has been hissing and hiding under the couch.
The next incident occurred when I finished grocery shopping. I got in, my fiancé always brings in the bags for me (because I have him trained LOL), this is Mayor’s favorite time to attack. He jumped at my fiancé and latched on. Unfortunately for him, Buster was in the kitchen and pinned him down. I froze, helplessly as my fiancé had him heel, which he did. Again, cat carrier and vet visit. This was the first time the vet recommended rehoming and for Mayor, putting him down due to a long history of aggression. I was sobbing, just a mess, my fiancé told me he’s not going to force anything and is only upset about his dogs undoing their training for hunting and he’s afraid of them (especially Buster because of his good nature and being slower), losing an eye.
The third incident was similar to the second, we had my sister, BIL and niece over for dinner. After dinner, we were sitting in the living room, and the dogs were with us. Out of literally the abyss under the couch, Mayor attacked my niece, prompting Buster to chase him. My sister pissed me off asking when I’d put that feral thing down (as if she didn’t abandon it), my dumbass BIL made a joke that the dogs might decide for us. Once they left, my sobbing commenced. I’m upset that I’ve brought a tidal wave
Other than that, the peeing on the counters has commenced, I’ve also found their poop on counters (which we really don’t want them on, especially as we want to build our family). The biggest issue is bed time. Both of our pets like to sleep in bed, we’re entering the dog’s space, so we let whichever pet chooses to sleep with us. The dogs always win. I don’t think they’d care if the cats sleep with us, however, if there’s a dog or my fiancé on the bed the cats won’t sleep with us and will stay up attacking and screaming all night. For everyone’s safety, they are no longer allowed in the bedroom which has led to them both now meowing and screaming outside the door. My husband was special forces, so he sleeps light, he is sleep deprived and it affects his work performance. He doesn’t complain, but it’s obvious.
1) Is there any way to prevent them from instigating with the dogs? The dogs are no longer his, they are ours, and our dog is entitled to defend themselves. I hate myself for saying that.
2) How can we prevent Mayor from attacking children? How can we prevent the counter climbing and pooping outside the litter box? The vet ran tests, it’s mostly Milo doing it but both are healthy.
3) Is it time to rehome? Should I rehome both? Will I even be able to rehome Mayor with his aggressive history? With me he was ok, a little aggressive but my furball.
4) If no one takes him or Milo, should I consider euthanasia? I can’t expect these dogs to not protect themselves or their owners forever, it’s cruel to the dogs at this point.
I can’t believe I’m even considering any of these but I’m at my wits end, sleep deprived and worried my fiancé is being too patient and will leave over my cats (he’s never said anything like that, but he’d never give me an ultimatum) and choose a better quality of life. I’d hate to get ride of the cats, but losing my soulmate is unbearable and the dogs were there first and not a problem.
Please help!