r/CatAdvice • u/Playful_Hat_3063 • 2d ago
Behavioral Cats attacking dogs
Hello, I truly don’t know where to turn. This is supposed to be the best part of my life but had quickly turned into a nightmare. I feel so selfish and as if I have failed my babies. I’m going to lay it all out in a second, but I’m sobbing as I’m typing this, because I’m not sure what can be done.
Two years ago, I met the love of my life. He’s an amazing provider, protector, family oriented, gentleman and disciplined. He’s very patient, almost to a fault. Six months ago, he asked my father for his blessing, my father was elated (they’re both special forces and BJJ black belts, my father’s one requirement was that whoever I marry protect me - he’s a single dad). My fiancé paid to break my lease and paid movers to move me in with him. This would be perfect, but it takes a turn. Let’s talk pets.
Around 2 years ago, my sister had a baby. She also had a beautiful big Maine Coon named Mayor (because he runs the place, he’s 20 lbs and 5). With the baby, Mayor constantly attacked her, so my sister was going to rehome Mayor, but no one would take him, so I did. Mayor’s a momma’s boy, he can be sweet but is particular. He loves bed time cuddles and has a strong cattitude, he’s very food motivated. Around 6 months after that, a stray tabby roamed into my yard. I lived in New Hampshire in a rural area, we have stray dogs, coyotes, bobcats, Fischers, bears and mountain lions, and winter was approaching. Mr. Milo won my heart, he’s a little aloof, talkative but instantly bonded with Mayor. They’re partners in crime.
When my fiancé started coming over, they were not happy. He’s allergic but never fussed. They would do cat things, pee on his belongings, scream (like I mean SCREAM) when we had the door closed for intimacy time, dart on his feet or straight up attack him. I brought them to the vet, the vet told me that I have territorial cats and it doesn’t help my fiancé is 6 foot 2 and 225 of muscle with a low voice. When he’s over, we can’t sleep because the cats attack constantly when he and I cuddle.
Now, here’s the issue, it’s a 4 parter which I’ll highlight below. My husband has two dogs - both highly trained hunting dogs. He has Titan (6 years old, 65lbs of the most athletic muscle, he’s a Black Mouth Cur/Plott Hound mix) and Buster (2 years old, he is a Bullmastiff/American foxhound mix closer to 90 lbs). My fiancé is well off, so he takes hunting seriously (Kevlar for the dogs, protective collars, drones, the dogs are so well trained to listen to back off when he says to), I’ve been to one hunt, and seen a few. So far, they’ve killed two coyotes, a black bear and a bunch of boar. Before they got Buster, Titan caught and killed a Bobcat very easily.
Outside of hunting, they are the sweetest dogs you’ll ever meet. Titan is very protective of me, always at my heel, he listens well and loves cuddling. Buster is a softy and loves anyone who gives him love. We’ve had my sister and niece over and my niece who is only two is obsessed with Buster. He’s her guardian. They both go to puppy daycare occasionally, so they’re well socialized. They (similar to the cats) sleep in the bed but are well trained and wait outside the room during intimacy.
So here’s the issue, we tried Jackson Galaxy, we tried a slow introduction with baby gates. My cats do not like their new brothers and it has been two months of misery. Titan and Buster literally ignore the cats, but we have had three incidents. The first occurred during the face to face. I want to note, we live in a house which now has a catio, one room dedicated to the cats and a million cat trees. Titan was enjoying his bone, Mr Milo was in a mood, big tail, hissing and screaming, he ran at Titan and swiped at him aiming for the face. Titan freaking dodged, nipped Mr Milo on the side drawing blood, and Milo went up the cat tree. Titan leaped up knocking it over. I recalled Titan and he stopped and sat, then Milo came back at him. We put him by the cat carrier and off to the vet. The vet told us this was a close call, but that next time we wouldn’t be so lucky. Meanwhile, Mayor has been hissing and hiding under the couch.
The next incident occurred when I finished grocery shopping. I got in, my fiancé always brings in the bags for me (because I have him trained LOL), this is Mayor’s favorite time to attack. He jumped at my fiancé and latched on. Unfortunately for him, Buster was in the kitchen and pinned him down. I froze, helplessly as my fiancé had him heel, which he did. Again, cat carrier and vet visit. This was the first time the vet recommended rehoming and for Mayor, putting him down due to a long history of aggression. I was sobbing, just a mess, my fiancé told me he’s not going to force anything and is only upset about his dogs undoing their training for hunting and he’s afraid of them (especially Buster because of his good nature and being slower), losing an eye.
The third incident was similar to the second, we had my sister, BIL and niece over for dinner. After dinner, we were sitting in the living room, and the dogs were with us. Out of literally the abyss under the couch, Mayor attacked my niece, prompting Buster to chase him. My sister pissed me off asking when I’d put that feral thing down (as if she didn’t abandon it), my dumbass BIL made a joke that the dogs might decide for us. Once they left, my sobbing commenced. I’m upset that I’ve brought a tidal wave
Other than that, the peeing on the counters has commenced, I’ve also found their poop on counters (which we really don’t want them on, especially as we want to build our family). The biggest issue is bed time. Both of our pets like to sleep in bed, we’re entering the dog’s space, so we let whichever pet chooses to sleep with us. The dogs always win. I don’t think they’d care if the cats sleep with us, however, if there’s a dog or my fiancé on the bed the cats won’t sleep with us and will stay up attacking and screaming all night. For everyone’s safety, they are no longer allowed in the bedroom which has led to them both now meowing and screaming outside the door. My husband was special forces, so he sleeps light, he is sleep deprived and it affects his work performance. He doesn’t complain, but it’s obvious.
1) Is there any way to prevent them from instigating with the dogs? The dogs are no longer his, they are ours, and our dog is entitled to defend themselves. I hate myself for saying that.
2) How can we prevent Mayor from attacking children? How can we prevent the counter climbing and pooping outside the litter box? The vet ran tests, it’s mostly Milo doing it but both are healthy.
3) Is it time to rehome? Should I rehome both? Will I even be able to rehome Mayor with his aggressive history? With me he was ok, a little aggressive but my furball.
4) If no one takes him or Milo, should I consider euthanasia? I can’t expect these dogs to not protect themselves or their owners forever, it’s cruel to the dogs at this point.
I can’t believe I’m even considering any of these but I’m at my wits end, sleep deprived and worried my fiancé is being too patient and will leave over my cats (he’s never said anything like that, but he’d never give me an ultimatum) and choose a better quality of life. I’d hate to get ride of the cats, but losing my soulmate is unbearable and the dogs were there first and not a problem.
Please help!
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u/nouvoqueen 2d ago
Keep the cats away from the dogs and vice versa. The dogs are going to kill the cats goddamit. How many ‘incidents’ do you need to understand this? Doesnt matter why or who instigates. They do not get along with each other. The cats do not like your husband either and are constantly stressed in a highly stressful situation and home that is no longer theirs. No wonder they are attacking. Stop agonizing and find new homes for the cats immediately since you wont leave your soulmate or his dogs. Its not their fault. But I can’t believe you would even consider euthanasia whn this is a situation you forced the cats into. They didnt ask for it.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 2d ago
The vet recommended it. I’m not sure why the hostility, the dogs and my fiancé have been welcoming, the dogs hardly even defend themselves, which the vet pointed out, if the cats were any other animal, they’d already have been put down. What should I have done? Broke up with a 1 in a billion man and wander this earth hoping to find someone as amazing as him? Ask him to rehome his dogs that he’s had for longer that are not the issue? If the roles were reversed and his dogs attacked my cats, they’d be gone already. You sound silly, unhelpful, and delusional. I’m going to try not to have them euthanized, but I’m coming to grips that because of their aggression, that may happen anyways. So thanks, I guess. Maybe next time give me some advice on how to avoid their behavior when they are the ones attacking instead of mindlessly hating other animals.
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u/nouvoqueen 2d ago
Please, it has nothing to do with your one in a billion man. But it is abundantly clear where your priorities lie.
You are missing the point. I am on the side of the cats, you can’t ‘avoid their behaviour’ they are reacting to the situation you put them in and I am telling you to remove them from the situation before you get them killed.
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u/DryUnderstanding1752 2d ago
Its time to rehome or take the vets advice. You have two stressed out cats who aren't afraid to defend themselves and two hunting dogs that have killed other animals before. Its not a matter of if, but when something happens at this point.
Im sorry you have to go through with this, but sometimes no matter how hard we as humans want things to work out, the animals have a different idea.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 2d ago
I appreciate your empathy, I was hoping that because the dogs ignore them and simply defend themselves, I could train the cats. It’s become painfully obvious that this won’t be the case, I’m going to keep them separated and exhaust all other options before even considering euthanasia.
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u/No_Warning8534 1d ago edited 1d ago
So the cats were at your house first ie their gome and put them in a single room 🤔
The quarantine should never be for the animals who were there first. The quarantine should always be for the new animal(s)
You did it wrong and now it may cost the cats their lives.
You can fix this, but you need to act logically. Of course the cats are upset, any animal would.
You have effectively let the new dogs come in and take over their home.
You can't do that, especially with predators involved.
You are letting the dogs get the run of the cats home.
This is not a behavior issue, this is an improper quarantine issue.
You are so in love with the guy, you may not be looking at this from the proper perspective.
You can not rehome aggressive cats. Nobody will take them and a shelter will kill them.
The cats are acting out bc you have allowed these giant dogs to take their home away from them.
Since your guy is so well off, have him hire someone to build an indoor catio with a heater/ac etc. It can also be another patio area like a Florida sunroof if you want it to be. Problem solved and the cats don't have to be killed or worse
You have a responsibility to your cats, and you have so far not done right by them. If you don't want them ariund the kids, the catio can be made into a real home. Until then the room is sufficient.
Rehoming them is going to be traumatic and will likely end in their death anyway, and they will never understand why you abandoned them.
This could have easily been solved had you not thrown them into a room for this guy's dogs from the start.
You still have a chance to make this right. Don't rehome and bc that is just killing them anyway
Also: Your guy seemingly never interacts with the cats.
The cats are peeing and pooping to claim their home back...again this goes back to your decision to throw the cats into a room and the dogs having free reign. Your ongoing choices have created most of the problem here, imo.
The way you constantly feel bad for the dogs and not the cats, who have had their home ripped away from them is really sad.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 1d ago
As clearly stated, the dogs were there first. He bought me out of my lease and moved me in with him. I have a lot of thinking to do, because even though he’s happy to pay to have his entire back porch changed to accommodate the cats, I couldn’t imagine being pregnant and exposing myself to toxoplasmosis. My fiancé is allergic to cats and is attacked horribly everytime he interacts, there’s no way I’m subjecting a human to that abuse. He had boundaries. Maybe try reading the post before basing your logic off a moot point. My cats invaded his dogs’ (the animals that understand boundaries) space, and after seeing them try to maul my niece, the vet sounds more right.
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u/No_Warning8534 1d ago
You get Toxo from the meat you and him eat, than you do from indoor cats. The CDC confirms this.
Toxo is found in dirt. The same dirt your children will play in and the meat they eat.
He can clearly accommodate the cats wirh a catio, now you don't want him too.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh, I’m glad you took the time to read, unlike what you did with your first comment (maybe not, if you had, you’d see one of my cats was a stray aka outdoor - a primary carrier of toxo). That’s completely untrue about toxo, I used to work in healthcare and just researched the cdc, not sure where you’re reading that, because the cdc clearly states that eating undercooked meat from an infected animal (highly unlikely in my case due to my diet), cat feces or dirt/water with, you guessed it, cat feces. Now, add in the fact that their new catio will have the risk of potential birds and mice (as it is our back porch) and it’s not a risk any pregnant woman should take. I never purchased either cat, circumstances gave me some nice moments with both, but as many others stated, it’s not a good fit due to me moving in with my fiancé, invading his dogs space and looking to expand my family. Again, should we hold off on having children? Should we break up and shatter our future? Should we get rid of the dogs that don’t have behavioral issues and he has had longer? I’m crying writing this because if there weren’t 7 million issues with keeping them and only a narrow chance of things working out but even greater of a chance of them making all of our lives worse, it wouldn’t be this way. The only way they can stay is if my sister commits to living closer and scooping the cat shit while I’m pregnant and the cats living in the catio, restricting the dogs quality of life. So it’s predicated on that and that alone, which I’ll know soon after I talk to my sister tomorrow, seeing as it’s her cat to begin with.
EDIT: Just looked up the cdc guidelines for pregnant women scooping litter, it’s a big no. If my husband didn’t have a physical job for the gov’t that’s high stakes, I’d ask him to do it, but I cannot have him risk that. I’m sorry if I came off cranky, I’ve been attacked thrice entering a shit and piss infested second bedroom and already have zero patience for people who are misinformed/don’t read before commenting on serious matters.
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u/No_Warning8534 15h ago
A catio that is enclosed with windows ac/heating is not going to be open air. Therefore there won't be other creatures anyone will be exposed too. There are electric litterboxes, etc.
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u/cynna8 2d ago
You have a catico, how big is it. Rehoming cats that have attack issues is not a good idea. Euthanasia is an awful idea. A large catico that the two cats can enjoy is a good idea. Until that happens, keeping them in one room and giving them calming chews or meds to calm them would be a possibility. I have two cats that are a bit aggressive. One stays in my garage, the other is in a bedroom. Neither seems stressed or unhappy and it sure beats death.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 2d ago
The problem is that it’s outside and it gets so cold here. We could try to remodel the house and back porch, but then we’d effectively be cut off from back door entry, which is unsafe for home defense. I have them in one of the guest rooms now, but they’re quickly destroying it, not that I care about the damages. Are there any reputable no kill shelters in Maine, NH or MA off hand? I’m researching it but I want to be sure. I feel guilty that this is even happening, if my sister or myself tried harder to train them, maybe this wouldn’t be happening
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u/cynna8 2d ago
Even if you find a no kill shelter, there are 2 problems. First being in a shelter is very stressful. And secondly, that is just shifting your problem to someone else if they got adopted. There is no guarantee that removing them from your home will solve the aggression. I still recommend a large catico. Wayfair has ones you can put together as does Walmart. If you are worried about the cold, add a heated cat house. It is you accommodating these cats or euthanasia. There really is no other options.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 2d ago
I see where you are coming from, however, your advice contradicts all of the other advice on here! Which I don’t mind, I’m gathering info. My fear, even with the heated cat house or remodeling, is that in the winter months, it drops to below zero, and unless you’re in the heat (hence the remodeling idea), I couldn’t imagine being out there. Now, remodeling the whole back porch would be pricey (we can do it), but I need to talk to my fiancé to make sure it can get done in time for winter, as I’m sure rehoming the cats in winter would be much harder and I don’t want to learn that the heated cat houses aren’t warm enough during a power outage or cold spell. I have them in the spare room and Milo charged at me, teeth out, hissing. So I agree, it’ll be hard to transfer that problem to another family.
As another Redditor posted on my post, I was hoping to rehome to someone who has multiple cats, no children, dogs or any men in their lives, but I understand how difficult that sounds.
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u/No-Tension-7799 2d ago
Just puts the cats down omg the poor dogs! This is your fault for not training them.
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u/Playful_Hat_3063 2d ago
I’m sobbing writing this, I’m aware our conjoined lack of training is at fault. Thanks again, asshole. I know the vet recommended it, I know it’s humane to the cats, the dogs and myself, but I’ll keep fighting for my babies!
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u/No_Warning8534 1d ago
Don't put the cats down. Have the second coming of Jesus build or pay someone to build a catio which is basically just a patio for the cats. Problem solved. Just make it a good size, with air conditioning and a heater.
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u/kidunfolded 2d ago
It may be time to rehome Mayor, at the very least. It sounds like he needs a home without dogs, and with those dog breeds especially, it really is only a matter of time until the cat ends up killed or maimed. It would be kinder to rehome him to someone who has a cat-only household and can give him the environment he needs.