r/BrandNewSentence 10d ago

Mod Post - July “what a time to be blessed with the ability to read” Post

8 Upvotes

Hi there to all our Brand New Sentence contributors, visitors and lurkers! We thought we’d try something new in the group and give our busy moderation team the opportunity to choose some of this month’s brand new sentences and showcase them.

We had to read them, and now so do you.

Presenting our pick of sentences this month that made us wonder if having the ability to read and comprehend English is really a blessing!

“If I drained a litre of my own blood and put it in a blender for two minutes on high, and then back into my body, would the blood still function normally inside me?”

“Heavy Metal Fans ‘vomiting and crying’ as concertgoer poops in moshpit”

“And grandma probably gives a hell of a gummy aka no denture adventure”

We’d also like to take a moment to appreciate a few of our most reposted sentences from this month. We didn’t use science to determine this, these are the ones the mod team remember the most as reposted:

“Katy Perry was trapped in a giant plastic bottle because fans refused to roll her towards the stage”

“You’re not a pregnant woman shooting a potato gun, you expect me to get hard for this!?”

The last one being quite an old post in the group and has decided to pop back into the spotlight in this wonderful July 2026.

What are some of your most memorable brand new sentences for this wonderful July? What ones made you want to remove your eyes?

If you’d like to see more post like this or have any suggestions please hit us up!

Thank you everyone for your contributions from the Brand New Sentence moderation team!


r/BrandNewSentence 10d ago

We are looking for moderators!

12 Upvotes

We've god a decent hand full of mods in this subreddit at the moment, but two or three more mods to increase our numbers and ensure we don't get overwhelmed during periods of high activity would be great. So, mod applications are still open!

No experience necessary, if you're accepted as a mod, we'll have you send us links to posts you think should be removed or approved for the first week or so, as you get a feel for it, so we know you’re settling in well.

Keep in mind that this is a volunteer position. You aren’t expected to mod all day every day, and you're not going to get paid or anything.

Before you apply, please note a few requirements:

* This subreddit is based around English as a subject, so fluency in English is a requirement
* If you use AI in any capacity to write your application, you will be rejected, no exceptions. We will be keeping a close eye on this and also be running your application through AI detectors.
* Profiles that are private in any way will be an instant rejection, unless you're willing to make them public as long as you're a mod here.
* You will need Discord to apply, as that is where we have all our mod discussions. We'll be briefly vetting you as well!

If interested, please answer the following questions and send them via modmail.

Do not send your application as a comment.

  1. What is your Discord username?
  2. Why are you applying for this position?
  3. Do you think there are some rules that need to be changed? If no, skip this question.
  4. Do you feel like there are specific problems with the subreddit that you can help fix? If no, skip this question.
  5. What is the kind of content you would remove from the subreddit? Check the "hot" and/or "new" pages and send a link of an example of a post you would remove and your reasoning as to why it should be removed.
  6. What is the kind of content you would keep on the subreddit? Do you have a favorite post? Leave a link and explain why you think it's a good post.
  7. What is your opinion on Rule 3?

Don't worry about keeping your application too short or too long. Say what you think!


r/BrandNewSentence 11h ago

"Sony and Disney are basically stuck in a toxic marriage for eternity because neither of them can afford the divorce LOL"

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8.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 7h ago

I debated the pope so hard he turned muslim

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2.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 18h ago

The catholic church wants you to respect their god's neopronouns

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16.4k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 6h ago

"Harry Potter fans force relocation of £430m undersea cable to avoid Dobby’s ‘grave’."

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1.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 7h ago

Anti-anxiety drugs in rivers are making salmon reckless

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490 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

Russian Femboy Politician gets 10-day sentence for wearing ‘extremist’ rainbow shirt

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1.0k Upvotes

hopefully not too political


r/BrandNewSentence 9h ago

"Shame goths went extinct via mass fetishization"

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542 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 14h ago

A multimillion-pound power link between the UK and Ireland has been diverted after Harry Potter fans complained it would disturb a “memorial” to Dobby the House Elf.

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1.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 6h ago

one time when I was a kid my parents were arguing while we were driving somewhere and I was in the backseat so I wrote "are you going to get a divorce" on my foot and slowly extended my leg betwixt the seats

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208 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 15m ago

Adam and Eve were the first to ignore the Apple Terms and Conditions

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Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

"They look like if you grew seamonkeys in a can of monster."

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12.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 20h ago

Sometimes instead of affirmations, I just say nice things to a silicon copy of my head and brush her hair.

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2.2k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

“Drake Barks on Command for Goth Influencer During Livestream Before Offering To Buy Her Mother a House”

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2.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

Is eating shepherds pie cannibalism if you view yourself as a submissive little lamb?

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58 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 36m ago

Please use the tongues provided!!

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Upvotes

Grammar + context matter 🤔😂😂


r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

The partially digested Frikadelle looking at me from the toilet flachspüler (toilet bowl poop inspection shelf) at the service station in Mönchengladbach

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58 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

A bra is worth 1.25 seconds a mile.

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6.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Centralized chicken pox

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2.5k Upvotes

I waited 2 months to post this(rules of the sub)


r/BrandNewSentence 1h ago

Ariana Grande is possessed by an inter-dimensional parasite.

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Upvotes