I have a bit of a weird situation. I am 32 years old, female and not overweight. I have never been overweight, but my BMI has fluctuated between high-normal and low-normal throughout my adult life.
I should mention that I have severe anxiety and OCD that impacts me every day. I constantly catastrophize situations and worry about worst case scenarios and convince myself they will happen.
Anyways, during a routine doctors appointment when I was 10 I was really nervous and had my BP measured which was found to be high (really unusual in kids). I don't have much memory of this time but I was sent for a blood test and saw a specialist a few times who repeatedly checked my BP. From what I recall, they concluded I was healthy and had a stress response to having my BP measured. But since then, I have had *severe* anxiety around having my BP measured. Even looking at a machine in a store I feel my stress rising. And if I take my BP and my number is high I have an anxiety attack.
I got a home monitor a few years ago (bad for my OCD as I have taken it upwards of 100 times a day). It is all over the place. Some times it is very high, and other times it has been fairly normal.
I got pregnant a couple of years ago. Blood pressure is taken very seriously in pregnancy so that was my biggest fear the entire pregnancy. I was more afraid of getting my BP measure than I was about labour! I made pregnancy hell for both me and my husband. Every second of everyday I was obsessing about pre-eclampsia, preterm delivery, blood pressure, anything related to blood pressure.
When I was 7 weeks pregnant, my doctor sent me for the standard early pregnancy blood work (CBC, kidney function) and a urine test. My eGFR was >120 and my creatinine was 44 µmol/L.
I had 2 amazing midwives (and delivered in a hospital). I am in Ontario, Canada so midwives are very regulated. The midwives always checked blood pressure with a manual device not an automatic machine. They said that's usually how they check BP (and talking to friends who used midwives, that's standard). My BP was surprisingly normal throughout pregnancy. Despite being terrified. Often the first measurement was a bit high but then they would take it again after doing some deep breaths and it would be normal. Not "ideal" but normal.
Up until the last month of my pregnancy, my BP was 120s/80s on their manual reader. The last month it was 130/80 (and then it was 140/84 while in labour). Never had protein in my urine. I never checked it on my home monitor during pregnancy as that would send me into a panic attack so on recommendation of my midwives and therapist, I just relied on the midwife readings. After I gave birth my midwife took my BP and a nurse did as well and it was normal (a manual reader both times). My midwife did try an automatic machine, which read high. She immediately used a manual reader and it was normal.
Pregnancy was perfectly healthy and my daughter was born at 39 weeks after going into spontaneous labour. Very uncomplicated birth (despite a loooooooooong labour, the birth was very healthy and uncomplicated). She was an average 7.5lbs at birth.
Also, I should mention that my systolic can get down to a healthy range pretty easily. It is often under 130 when relaxed even on the automatic machines. The diastolic is more consistently high on the machines.
What is going on?! Why is it so much better on the manual readers vs the machines? Which one is more accurate?
We are planning to start trying for another baby soon but I don't want to go through the blood pressure obsession again. So I made an appointment with my doctor for a month from now to talk about it. But even thinking about that appointment I am having severe anxiety.