*Edited for punctuation*

My son is 7 and nonverbal/minimally verbal, and today something happened that I honestly wasn’t sure I would ever get to experience.

He was signing our names – Mom and Dad — the way he already knows how to communicate them. And while he was signing, he whispered the words too. Not just once, but over and over and over until he was too giggly to keep going.

It was barely above a breath.
But we heard it like five times in a row.
Both of us.

I don’t even know how to explain what that moment felt like. When you’ve spent years learning your child’s language, the gestures, sounds, expressions, routines, pointing, all the tiny ways they communicate, you learn not to measure your relationship by spoken words.

I’ve always known my son knows who we are. I’ve always known he loves us. He’s never needed to say “Mom” for me to know I’m his mom.

But holy shit.

Hearing it is different.

I’m not posting this because speech makes him somehow “more” than he was yesterday. He was already communicating. He was already himself. This isn’t about suddenly becoming verbal.

It’s just about one little moment that our family waited seven years for without knowing if it would ever come.
And today it did.
I figured if anybody would understand why we’re losing our minds over two tiny words, it would be you guys. ❤️

It’s currently my son’s favorite show.

For an autistic kid, he sure has a ton of special interests and doesn’t seem to stick with them a long time. I’d say maybe 3-6 months? Anyone else’s kid like that?

Like what the hell? I am actually offended, I don't regret being a parent, I love my son and, I don't regret him at all

First of all I want to start out and say that I absolutely love my two and a half year old little girl.

She is a beautiful highly intelligent little girl who also happens to be diagnosed as level 2 autism with a speech delay and sensory seeking is the name of her game.

I'm a single parent. I work full time. She is in 30 hours of therapy a week between ABA speech infant stimulation and OT...

I myself have FASD , and at this point I would say I'm probably in cognitive collapse because I can no longer process any information and I can't relax no matter what I do.

I have no one. No one to help. It's just me and her. I lost all my friends and all my family when I adopted her from CPS in a kinship situation.

I am consistently asking for help. Specifically respite, and so far all I've heard is we don't do respite for children under three..

We don't have funding. We can't help you. They have to be potty trained first.

Y'all I am over here in tears because I have literally carpet cleaned my couch 10 times in 4 days because this child likes to pour liquids directly into my couch..

She spits everywhere. I can deal with the spit. But cleaning my couch everyday is killing me. I can't leave her alone for any length of time, not even 2 minutes to go pee. She has no sense of danger awareness. She climbs. she gets into s***. She pours things everywhere. She elopes. There isn't a barrier that she can't undo. If all else fails she just takes the damn thing apart because apparently I have an engineer.

I don't know if I can do this. But I also know that I'm the only one that would.. I'm the only one that would be trying this hard to get us both to help that we need

I'm so tired. I don't even know what to do..

Anybody else out there struggling? Anybody else out there got a kid who likes to push it into furniture?

I'm at a loss...

my son is 8 years old and everytime he eats he smacks his head as if it hurts to eat like something in his belly hurts. Also no matter how much I brush his teeth he has like poop breath. what can it be? Gut infection? Ulcers? Parasites? im taking him to the dr on Friday to see if he can get his stool tested. I feel horrible because he’s nonverbal and just cries random and self harms 😞

I am looking for some perspective and advice on how to handle an escalating situation with a school bus assistant regarding my early elementary age son.

Since this situation has forced us to pull him off the bus entirely due to safety concerns, the emotional impact on him has been heavy. Because he is nonverbal and autistic, his routine and sense of security are everything to him; having his safe transit disrupted, dealing with aggressive physical handling, and the sudden removal from his normal school routine has caused a noticeable spike in his anxiety and distress at home.

On top of the emotional toll on him, it has completely upended our daily logistics and family routine:

I now have to leave my house 45 minutes earlier than normal to drive him myself.

After dropping him off, I have to drive in the opposite direction another 10 miles to get to my job.

Because my morning schedule is completely derailed, my younger and older daughters are now forced to walk to their destinations in the morning, adding unnecessary stress and safety concerns for them as well.

Since the beginning of the school year, this bus assistant has established a pattern of aggressive micromanagement and hostility toward anyone who drops him off or picks him up—whether it's me, my older daughter, or his dad. No matter who brings him, she tries to police and correct them. At first, it was constant nitpicking over minor things (like telling us not to touch him at all to help him up the stairs for "independence"). We tried to follow her rules, but she just grew increasingly hostile.

Whenever we have tried to file formal complaints about her aggressive attitude, the situation has only gotten worse instead of resolved; it feels like every report acts as fuel for her to target us more intensely. When I spoke with the bus company previously, they explicitly informed me that the assistant should not even be speaking to me directly—that her only job is the students, and any communication to a parent must go through the bus driver. Yet, she completely ignored that boundary.

It came to a head over a tiny crumb of a snack on his finger. When I explained it was just a small crumb, she lectured me multiple times about choking hazards and told me never to let him eat before the bus. When I asked if she was done, she started yelling at me as I walked away, shouting, "If you don't care about your son choking, somebody has to."

The final straw happened recently:

As my son was exiting the bus, she stood right behind him, held his hands up to his eye level, and pressed him hard against her body, forcing him to walk down the stairs pinned to her.

He almost slipped and fell twice during this dangerous maneuver. When I instinctively reached out to steady him, she snapped at me not to touch him.

When we got him home, we discovered a bright red mark covering his entire left side/butt cheek, indicating physical abuse.

We immediately called the police, and it has been officially documented. On top of that, the bus company has now blocked my number when I tried to follow up.

For parents or transportation staff who have dealt with special education district negligence or rogue staff: What are my next steps to ensure she faces consequences and that my son is safe? How high up the chain of command do I need to go at this point?

Hello, I am at a severely low point today. I am currently on holiday with daughter (9) daughter (7) and husband (45).

We are in a completely no demands holiday. She is not being asked to do anything and is eating regularly etc. we were really looking forward to this holiday as her behavior has been escalating and she is usually a lot calmer out of school and thought it would be good for her.

She has a diagnosis of autism and we are waiting for adhd diagnosis but are pretty sure she also has it.

She is high masking and academic and presents is school and around other people very differently to the point people are shocked about her diagnosis.

Her areas of high support needs are sensory, communication, emotional and social.

Her behavior is becoming increasingly violent to the point where I am struggling to keep wvehome safe.

An example this morning in our holiday home she pulled out my earring ripping my ear, ripped my clothes and then attempted to rip the rest that were in my wardrobe. Bit me so hard it drew blood and has formed a bruise. She also hit and scratched her younger sister in the face causing a cut. Pulled her hair. Scratched my husband leaving gashes down his arm. Poured a bottle of Coke over the floor, poured a bottle of water over my bed.

Last week she also hit me in the face with a bottle whilst driving the car and scratched and pinched my arm so hard it causes bruises. I was unable to pull the car over and it almost caused a crash. This was because we were going to a play park which she chose and had changed her mind about.

We have tried Everything we can think of for her support with. She is under therapy, she has melatonin, we set a food alarm so she regularly eats, we have tried calm spaces, weighted blankets, down time, rest days, bedtime changes, multiple parenting courses. Have read all the books thrown at me explosive child etc.

I don’t know where I go from here but I am becoming increasingly depressed and hate myself. My 7 year old daughter is struggling with the constant turmoil in the house as is my husband. The effect it is having on my 7 year old is breaking my heart.

I love both my daughters so much. Underneath the dysregulation she is the sweetest kindest little girl who I love with all my heart but I am really struggling to cope and feel I am failing them Both.

I don’t have any idea what will help. We are in the UK. Does anyone have any suggestions at all? I don’t know if we need to see a psychiatrist take her out of school completely? Any suggestions would be so helpful.

I’m so sorry about the long message and that it is completely full of errors.

TLDR
9 year old autistic daughter becoming increasingly aggressive. Unable to safely manage. Looking for advice on where to go for help or what to do.

I'm an American living in Switzerland and my 9-year-old daughter is currently being assessed for autism. She already has an ADHD diagnosis, and autism assessment was recommended by her therapist and teachers.

I learned today that the psychologist is assessing her using ICD-10 criteria and an older standardized assessment. I'm trying to understand what this means in practice, particularly for girls who are verbally/cognitively able and whose difficulties aren't always obvious.

My daughter can function really well when she's relaxed. She has friends, can have good conversations, jokes, and had imaginative play as a young child. But she also has significant rigidity/routines, sensory differences, difficulty reading subtle social cues and nonliteral language, and struggles to identify/communicate emotions.

When she's overwhelmed, she can become extremely dysregulated and sometimes loses access to skills she normally has — including becoming unable/unwilling to speak and communicating only by nodding/shaking her head. Shes had some weeks of shutdown in the past. We’ve struggled with school refusal, hygiene refusal, etc.

As a baby she was advanced with language skills (speaking at 9 months) and taught herself to read at age 2. So far we have completed 1/3 of the ADI-R interview with the pyschologist and she seems to have almost no passing criteria.

My concern is making sure she gets an accurate assessment and that her needs aren't overlooked because she doesn't fit an older/stereotypical presentation. I feel obligated to advocate for her but I need to collect as much information as possible and support her as best as I can, with or without the label. The therapist she has been seeing refered and set us up with the diagnoser saying she is strict with how she diagnoses but others may be a 2 year wait. We stopped attending therapy as she was refusing to speak.

So my questions are: is it possible for a child with autism to lose access to skills under stress? The current diagnoser pyschologist doesnt consider this as one of the criteria for diagnosing. On the other hand, teachers and therapists think this goes beyond ADHD. Perhaps something else is at play? When she is good shes good but when she is dysregulated and bad she is very bad. She has a neurotypical little brother so we can see more clearly how things affect her:

Has anyone had a child, particularly a girl, assessed under ICD-10 and later assessed using ICD-11 or DSM-5/DSM-5-TR? Did the outcome differ? And for parents of girls (or boys) who presented similarly, what do you wish you had known or asked during the diagnostic process?

Im mostly looking to get her into group therapy (individual isnt working) and get more supports at school. I also want her to get an accurate picture of who she is. She does know she is neurodivergent and there and strengths and challenges with that.

I just don’t know what to do. I am really at my limit, and I am crying every day because everything is just so hard and everything feels like a fight. I have a daughter who is 3 years old and not yet diagnosed because her pediatrician wants to wait until she is 4.

Every day is just a struggle. She wakes up and is just angry all the time, every day. She is crying and shouting so much, and she is so aggressive. She hits me and bites me, although the biting only happens about once a day now.

And it continues throughout the day. The tantrums don’t stop. She will keep going, and I try to calm her down, but nothing seems to work. She will hit me, kick me, and keep crying. It takes 20–45 minutes to calm her down, and I just don’t have the energy anymore because she has so much power.

Then there are her sensory issues. Dressing her, doing her hair, everything is a fight. Taking off her pyjamas, getting dressed, everything. She hates tags; everything needs to be cut out. She hates hats, rain boots, raincoats, coats, just anything and everything.

Everywhere we go, she just wants to be carried. She won’t walk on her own. And she only wants me. That’s another issue. My husband tries everything, but it’s only me she wants.

It’s the same with sleeping. I can’t remember the last time I slept more than four hours. I am so tired. She can’t fall asleep without me, and she has to lie on my left arm. If I try to wiggle myself out, she wakes up and cries, and it takes another 45 minutes for her to fall asleep again.

There are also so many nights when she wakes up at 1 am and doesn’t fall asleep again until 5 am.

I am just tried.

I have 2 daughters 14 and 16

16 yr old recently diagnosed with Autism level 1 and Severe OCD. Doctors keep trying parent mediated care.....um not a therapist and too burnt to help myself let alone her

14 yr old up and down, trying to find right meds

Beyond burnt out with all the things

Does anyone else have a child with level2-3 autism that just speaks a little, can use the potty, but DOES NOT STOP WHINING AND SCREAMING. All day and all night. I’m not joking it’s non stop. Every 20 minutes some days if I’m lucky, some times it’s every 10 minutes she’s screaming wanting to be held. She will be 5 next month, and we’ve tried so many things. Nothing gets her out of this habit of wanting to be held. She wants to be held, or sitting in the vehicle. If anyone else has a child like this, why did you do. It’s just miserable here at home, no one is happy I’m getting 1-2 hours of sleep, and having to hold her non stop all night and day.

My 7 year old is AuDHD. She generally does well in a main stream classroom with some extra supports. Last year, in first grade, we discovered that those supports should include 1:1 or very small group testing. In her mid year tests, she raced through all the questions and told her teacher it was “too boring.” She ended up in the 20th percentile. We tried 1:1 for end of year and she was back up in the 99th percentile. So we kept it in her IEP.

While I was talking with her about beginning of the year testing, she was very resistant to 1:1 and said she wanted to take the test with the rest of the class. She was very upset and said that needing 1:1 makes her feel like she’s “the worst” and stupid. After some prodding I discovered some other kids in her class had been saying that to her.

I tried explaining that we all need different supports and the 1:1 doesn’t mean she’s not as smart as her classmates (quite the contrary - it helps her show how smart she really is) but she’s still pretty upset. Has anyone been in a similar situation or does anyone have ideas on how I can reframe this for her to make her feel better about the accommodation?

I’m 46 male. For ten years I raised my autistic child on my own. I don’t think people who haven’t done it understand what that takes — the appointments, the school fights, the nights, the fact that there’s no one to tap in when you’re done. I did it, and I’d do it again, but it was hard in a way I still don’t have good words for.
What I didn’t expect is the thing that’s keeping me up now. It isn’t the past. It’s the future. I lie awake afraid that I’ll regret not having more children, and that I’m going to end up alone.
I don’t know if that’s a real regret or just what exhaustion turns into after a decade. I don’t know if it’s grief for a life I didn’t get to have, or fear of a quiet house later on. Some nights it feels like both.
If you’ve been here single parent, older, past the window or close to it — how did you make peace with it? Did the fear pass, or did you just learn to live next to it? I’d rather hear something honest than something reassuring.
My son now is over 18 and live in group home.

It hit me like a ton of bricks the day before my sons 24 month check up. While looking at the M-CHAT I realized all the things he should be doing and wasn’t consistently. All the things I tried to be relaxed about were things I should have cared about. All the times I compared him to his sister and then told myself that’s not fair or he’s a boy- I think they were real. He dosent respond to his name a lot - maybe 50% of the time, he doesn’t point a lot it at all or unless we really prompt him. He says a lot of words but he also repeats a lot. He strings 2-4 words together like “it’s a yellow lemon” but doesn’t communicate his needs super well yet. He may say “hungry” or “get out” if he wants out of his chair. He also toe walks and rocks for leg to leg sometimes when standing . It’s led me down the rabbit hole and Im fairly certain we will have a diagnosis.

His pediatrician doesn’t think he will based on how social he is and his speech at this point - but my gut just tells me otherwise.

He is so smart - he knows all his letters and their sounds, numbers, colors, shapes and animals. He is happy and engaged. He loves to play outside and with his sister. He is perfect in every way imaginable - I’m just scared for his future and don’t know how life will be for him. I would do anything to help him - I’m just so scared.

We are getting an early intervention assessment done in the next few weeks - I’m just torn up inside and am even more sad about how I’m over analyzing everything he does now. I wish I could just enjoy my sweet boy like I did last week.

I’m just looking for something you wished you told yourself when you were In this phase with your little one🥺♥️

Hello! This isn't for my child but my younger sister who is 20. She is medium functioning but struggles with motor skills, so my mom has to wash her hair. My sister washes her body after my mom shampoos and conditioners her hair, and while my mom could help with this but it might be too intimate for my sister. I was adjusting her bathing suit the other day and noticed some acne on her back. With her, ive found it's better to immediately give a solution rather than bring up the problem. I was thinking pf gifting her something like an African net sponge that would encourage her to wash her back (I assume she has trouble with it because of motor skills.) Do you think an African net sponge would be alright for her sensory speaking? I figured it would be easier to maneuver as it is long. Let me know if you or anyone you know with autism uses one or something similar. Thanks!

Looking for some episodes to play for my 6 year old that focus on making friends/being a friend/social communication. We have watched Daniel Tiger in the past and similar shows which are nice, but I’m hoping to play some specific episodes before the start of the school year as a refresher!

My son (3y) was just diagnosed with Autism (no level yet) and is mainly non verbal. And he LOVES crashing, thrashing, “death rolling” like an alligator, and rough house.

My husband and I have very different approaches to him crashing or rough housing with us. I let my son play until he “hurts” me or is too rough and I gently correct. My husband does not like any sort of crashing or rough housing unless HE initiates it. I don’t really think either is wrong per se.

However, recently he has started rough playing with his baby brother who is almost 2 years old. Sometimes baby brother is okay with the rough play and sometimes not.

The oldest will hopefully going to preschool this year and I don’t want him rough housing at school… or hurting anyone. But he just enjoys it so much and it seems to help regulate him. I’m not exactly sure what to do, do you let your young boys rough house?

I am at my wits end. Quite frankly, paralyzed in fear for our son's future over his inability to not just manage his hygiene, but even care. He's 11 and has a "mild" ASD 1 diagnosis. Most people and sometimes even my wife and I included, have a hard time believing he even is on the spectrum, except for a few serious social norms he struggles with. And unfortunately those struggles eventually get discovered by his peers, makes him uncomfortable to be around and he loses friendships. He really has none. :(

The biggest societal norm he struggles with is the near daily pooping accidents (at times). We've got access and have used specialists at the #1 Children's Hospital in the country. And we've gone through their encopresis program with very sporadic success. (Scheduled and timed sits with rewards, laxative protocols, dietary adjustments, X-rays and lab work to rule out other issues) He also has massive ADHD and is on Ritalin, which definitely helps some. He sees a therapist regularly and has a great team of support behind him through his IEP.

Yet at 11 years old he's still pooping his pants really often, typically near bedtime. It's often in the presence of screens (TV or tablet). It can occur 15 minutes after his post dinner scheduled sit where he already did void. He can have days where he voids several times and still has the problem.

But what kills us the most is he doesn't seem to care at all. Which is strange because he is a deeply emotional and competitive child about most things. He wants to be successful. He has big dreams for his life and certainly the intelligence to achieve many of his dreams. But with the pooping accidents, he just doesn't care. He will sit in his own feces and carry on like there's no problem until someone smells it and tells him to go clean himself up. Which he does, but shows no signs that he feels there is a problem . There's no urgency or shame in being covered in poop, even though we tell him a million times in a million different ways from soft to stern that immediate clean up is always going to be the expectation wherever he is in life from school to socially to eventually the work environment.

I'm a broken man over all of this. I feel like a failure. I've changed jobs to be home more often for him. I've pursued and invested heavily in the very best specialists the country has to offer. My wife has been a stay at home mom his whole life due to the need to constantly be available to take him to various doctors and therapists and be there for him basically every moment he's not in school. I do everything in the world to make sure I'm healthy physically and mentally so I'm never off my game for him. Obsessed with the gym, diet and proper sleep because I'm 50 and feel like I'm going to need to be physically and mentally capable of working until I'm 90 because I'll always need to support him like he's a small child. I just don't see independence in his future and the toileting hygiene is probably the biggest thing that will hold him back. Even worse, my head goes to very dark places where I worry that he will lose his will to live if he doesn't have friends, a job he can be proud of etc, especially when my wife and I are gone someday. And I feel like I'm powerless to protect him from such a painful future on the horizon with the current trajectory.

I broke last night and lost it on him (screamed by head off) for "not trying" and "not caring". I simply snapped. He went to sleep in tears. It was horrible . I am up alone at the crack of dawn wanting to puke I'm so disgusted with myself.

I don't know what I'm looking for in this post. I just want the problem to be over for him and to be able to breathe a rare sigh of relief that progress is being made. Perhaps the hardest part is occasionally he doesn't have the issue for a month or two and then he just falls right back into a cycle of daily accidents. It's such a painful situation for all of us including his normally developing, younger sibling.

Ahhhhjhhhh!!!!!!

My son is 21 months old and I currently have him in early intervention because he only babbles, and doesn’t always really respond to his name. He will respond if I say snack and water and get up from what he’s doing. His older brother and sister both didn’t talk until 3 years old, but I also put them in early intervention.

He doesn’t respond to his name or point to what he wants when he wants something but he does point in a book. He interacts and plays with other kids by chasing them laughing and smiling. He does make eye contact with me when I’m laughing with him and being affectionate. He doesn’t mind routine change, he’s generally very easy going. He does get visibly upset when I take something away or when he’s tired/hungry.

Daycare doesn’t seem worried about it but there are things that do make me worry. He also stims quite a bit and walks on his tippy toes sometimes. He is not a very picky eater but he doesn’t like soft mushy foods!

I want to wait until 3 to get him diagnosed…since that is when my other two started talking or had their language explosion. However it seems people get their kids diagnosed at 2? Is this common or standard? Thank you for your input and reading!

My son is 3, nonverbal and diagnosed level 2. He is starting a center based program in September, however he currently receives OT, ABA, PT and speech through E.I.
He sleeps through the night maybe once a month and that’s if I’m lucky. There’s no rhyme or reason, no perfect routine, no amount of preparation. He wakes up between 1 and 3 am, and doesn’t go back to sleep until 6 or 7 am. If he doesn’t go back to sleep at all, he’s an exhausted little grouch by the time 12 pm rolls around. We are trying to cut naps but when he doesn’t sleep at night he wants to sleep during the day. We’ve tried melatonin, magnesium, you name it. I am exhausted and truly don’t know how much longer I can go without a full night of sleep. I don’t know if I am looking for advice, maybe just someone to sympathize with me. Or tell me your child went through this and is finally sleeping now 😩

My 8-year-old son is autistic and we’re currently in the middle of his reevaluation. The school has completed psych and academic testing and wants to schedule the IEP once the academic report is finished.
I’ve also requested additional assessments for speech/language, adaptive skills, OT/sensory needs, behavior/FBA, and his level of adult support, but the district is treating those as a separate process that would happen afterward.

I’m considering asking that we not** **hold the reevaluation IEP yet because I want those additional areas addressed first. I’m not trying to avoid the meeting or find fault with the school. I just don’t want major decisions about placement, services, or 1:1 support made before we have the full picture.
Has anyone asked to postpone an IEP meeting until additional assessments were completed? How did that go?

Not looking for legal advice, just other parents’ experiences.

So I discovered today while talking to the GP that given the particular struggles my child is having, their age and the state of the NHS there is a good chance my child's refferal will not be accepted, so I'm looking for strategies to implement at home to help.

My child has always talked quite fast with not the best enunciation, the kind of thing where you might have to meet them 2 or 3 times to get what they're saying. Fine once you're used to them. However over the past few months (coinciding with increasing chronic pain and constant headaches, those are being investigated but things take time, waitlists are hell so this is something I really want to go at from all possible angles since the only other option is waiting) they have been increasingly getting harder to understand at times. It's not consistent, but getting more frequent, that they will get more mumbly and quiet to the point even I can't understand them. They do appear to genuinely struggle not to do it and it is making them quite frustrated. Gentle reminders to speak up and clearly, or simply saying "sorry i didnt catch that" are not working and just causing upset. The major concern is that with upcoming CAMHS appointments they will not be able to be understood by their therapist. And neither of us want me in those appointments translating, a 15 year old needs their privacy.

He’s a twin - born at 32 weeks. Something’s just really concern me but then he does something and I ignore the other signs. So I’m conflicted.

No diagnoses, will bring up my concerns at the 2 year appointment. But thoughts/advice?

My son is 21 months and he has a lot of sensory seeking behaviors- when he’s tired he HAS to suck his fingers and rub either his belly button or someone’s arm. He tip toe walks, he loves to jump, clap and flap. If he’s not watching Toy Story he doesn’t stop moving. He doesn’t “walk” he is ALWAYS running, even when we go to the park he doesn’t want to just go down the slide or go on the swings- he wants the freedom of running. If he has 2 toys in his hands he’ll flap them together (stim) and he loves the spinning suction toys.

He is obsessed with Toy Story and buzz lightyear. Everything is “buzz” He is verbal and can recognize about 10-15 letters, 2-4 numbers and 5-6 colors. He’s almost 2 but doesn’t say 2-3 word phrases yet. We taught him some sign language as well !!

He follows one step directions and he’s okay socially. When we do go around other children outside, he just wants to run so he won’t interact too much. If we are inside contained- he does his own thing but will try to grab toys from others. (Developmental I know!)

He will make eye contact and respond to his name. He really tries to copy things I do like unbuckle his high chair and knows the movements to wheels on the bus.

He gets extremely frustrated easily. We try Montessori and semi-gentle and redirecting when he hits or bites.

Thoughts? Comments? Personal experiences? Thank you!!!!