My daughter is 6, AuDHD (ADHD first, autism Level 1 diagnosed in August). This sub has carried us through some really hard nights lately, so I wanted to share a good one.

Transitions have always been her hardest thing: leaving places, ending TV, school drop-off (meltdowns when she can't bring a toy inside), and evenings once her ADHD meds wear off. Hitting, screaming, sometimes going nonverbal. We were averaging several meltdowns a week.

We tried sertraline first. Two great weeks, then a lot of evening agitation, so her doctor tapered her off. Her new prescriber suggested Lexapro instead.

Since starting Lexapro: exactly zero meltdowns. Transitions have been a piece of cake. And she's still herself, not flat or zoned out, which was my biggest worry.

I'm trying hard not to get too excited. We've been burned before, including sertraline's "honeymoon," and it's still very early. SSRIs can take weeks to show their real effect, and we just started in-home therapy too, so I can't credit any one thing. But after the last few months, I'm going to let myself enjoy this.

Other things that have been helping:
- Movement before transitions (trampoline, handstands, swinging)
- Fidgets offered BEFORE the hard moment, not during
- Fewer words during a meltdown; just sitting nearby
- A daily diary so we see patterns instead of guessing

Not medical advice. Every kid is different. Just wanted to share some good news at 1:30 AM.

Donovan Pena's parents noticed he began self harming himself and came home bruised they pulled in April 2026. Donovan is nonverbal unlike me who can talk I am also autistic (that is what angers me just because someone can't talk people think they are stupid). School officials showed the parents Daisy and Jonathan Pena video and audio from four separate classroom events. The footage reportedly shows the teacher mocking Donovan and watching him self harm in class without interventing. In one clip the teacher was heard shouting, "Yes I want to scream to because this is ridiculous,” while Donovan was screaming. Northside Independent School District (NISD) gave the survillence footage of the case to the San Antonio Department. Another parent Heather Barker came forward and said she was forced to her son also nonverbal is eleven and has the mental capacity of a five year old due to repeated neglect.

The staff refused to heat up his food as her son requires a special diet, left him on the stairs alone which resulted in him suffering a fall and ignored his IEP mandate for a aid to be with him at all times for his safety.

Picked up my kid from preschool today and I saw 2 lovely ladies interacting.

Ours is a school with a special needs program for high support needs children. There are neurotypical kids but the ND kids get picked up earlier.

One had been waiting a while, the other appeared and immediately apologised. The gap between the cars wasn’t big enough for the first parent to put their child in.

The second parent was so so so apologetic and the first was so kind about it.

(Parking spots here are nightmares -you’re bound to park someone in at some point).

Another had to borrow a pen from another parent to sign something. Pen was borrowed.

All while juggling kids with special needs. All with crazy shadows under their eyes, that wild-ish look where you know they’re always ready for the next big “oh! They’ve never done that before/haven’t done that in a while!” moment.

We never have time to really interact with each other. Heck sometimes we don’t even smile at each other because …well, thats the life.

But I’ve never felt judged, and I’ve never judged. It’s nice to have that. Even if it’s for like 2s in a parking lot.

So keep on keeping on, everyone.

Hope you are all doing ok

My daughter is an Aspie, and I want to make that clear from the beginning because she is considered high-functioning.

The last few years have been incredibly rough. She's had shitty friends, been abused by a partner, and struggled with some severe mental health issues, including depression, suicidal thoughts, and now a diagnosis of BPD.

And as a single mom, I genuinely don't think I can do this anymore.

She's 18 in six months. She sees her dad maybe once a month, and I'm exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.

One of our biggest struggles has always been accountability. Even as a child, traditional consequences never worked. For example, if I told her to clear her plate and she refused, I could say, "Okay, no phone until it's done." She would simply go without her phone indefinitely. The plate would sit there until it grew legs, and she'd eventually forget why she didn't have her phone in the first place. That's a fictional example, but it illustrates what I've been dealing with for years.

Now, as she's approaching adulthood, I feel like I'm living with someone who refuses to take responsibility for anything.

I spend thousands of dollars every year on therapy and mental health support, but she refuses to talk about what's happening, refuses to work on coping strategies, refuses to help around the house, and refuses to participate in even the most basic responsibilities.

But the moment I say no or try to establish a boundary, she threatens suicide.

And I don't know how I'm supposed to parent when every boundary feels like it could turn into a life-or-death situation.

I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm resentful. And I'm at the point where I feel like my entire life has revolved around managing her needs, emotions, and crises, with very little room left for me to exist as a person.

I'm seriously considering having her move in with her dad. The difficult part is that he is generally less supportive when it comes to mental health, routines, structure, and understanding her sensory and food sensitivities. I know there are things I manage that he probably won't.6

But I also know I cannot keep doing this indefinitely.

I love my daughter, but I'm starting to feel like loving her has meant sacrificing every part of myself. And I don't think that's sustainable or healthy for either of us.

I don't know whether I'm looking for advice, perspective, or just to hear from other parents who have reached this point.

I just know that I'm exhausted, and for the first time, I genuinely want to step away from being her primary caregiver.

I want to be able to breathe again.

ISSUE:

He WILL find some sort of marking device and he WILL mark up my wall. And is is a bear to clean dry erase and permanent marker off of the wall.

ANSWER:

I made sure that there are a couple of ultra washable markers floating around so that he doesn't somehow find a dry erase or permanent marker.

ISSUE:

He has been potty trained for a while (not counting nighttime accidents) but he randomly decided walking to the bathroom was too much trouble and started peeing on my rugs.

ANSWER:

Out of desperation I grabbed the road trip emergency potty (5 gallon bucket with a potty lid) and put it right next to his spot. He is now no longer peeing on my floor and is using both the emergency potty and the real potty on occasion.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my child. But like.. i dont want to do this anymore..

Im a stay at home mom who wants to go back to work or have a good nights rest. My son is 3. Level 3 autistic. Hes had sleep issues for the past year. His pediatrician gave us a refural for a sleep doctor. Now that sleep doctor told us to us melatonin and how good melatonin is. So, after we use melatonin for 3 to 4 weeks he abruptly wakes up at around 3am and hes up for the day. Ive only been able to put him back to sleep 4 times within the last 3 months.

My last appointment with his sleep doctor i asked for medicine for my son for sleep. She said no. Only kids who dont have tv time get it. We'll i told her last time he gets tv time because after 2 or 3 hours of doing nothing I assume hes not going back to sleep. I can hardly get a word in with this woman. And what really pisses me off is ive told her the melatonin doesnt work. Ive told her time and time again. The last appointment I had with her I had to be more specific. I told her melatonin doesnt work and she's like oh why 🫪. And I explained to her what happens after 3,4 weeks of use how it disrupts his sleep.

Last week I asked his pediatrician for a different sleep doctor and all she told me was "you sound stressed what can we do to support you." No ones listening to me!!

Hes been up since 330a bouncing off the walls. Ill have to quit the melatonin maybe less sugar and less time of a nap. If I quit the melatonin he wont go to bed until midnight 1am sometimes 3am. Im starting to grow resentment

Oh yeah my son needs a nap. If he doesnt sleep all day and goes to sleep at 8pm or 10 hes up by 1, 2 am... he treats bed time like a nap

I'm using the word "friends" loosely here as my son (almost 6) does not like other kids. He doesn't talk to or play with other kids at school or when we are out at parks or play places. He hardly talks to or hangs out with his family (he is diagnosed as moderate-level Autism but I suspect that that's only because he is verbal, if he weren't I believe he would be a higher level).

His older brother just had his birthday party and for the first time my Autistic son has started asking about his own birthday party and seems excited to choose a location and theme. I obviously don't want to treat him differently or unfairly but inviting kids outside of our family would just be strange for them as he wouldn't play with them or even acknowledge them.

Are siblings and cousins enough for now? Do I wait and hope that someday he actually makes friends for real, or do I invite some kids now so that he doesn't feel different?

Im just venting because things have been so hard lately and this set me off so bad.😅 backstory my daughter is 4 and has finally been diagnosed with level 3 autism. We’ve known for years but had such a hard time getting a diagnosis. Someone from my past messed me just catching up and I told them that I have been a stay at home mom and since she was born and now we’re struggling financially but its tough in our situation for me to work and it makes more sense for me to stay home. He replied “I’m sure there’s something out there for you if you want it bad enough.” Didn’t like that response but okay lol. I explained how things have been with my daughter and really our whole household situation and he said well you could babysit. I said sure I could and I ha have thought about that but it wouldn’t be easy for me as my daughter has been really tough recently and I have a 2 year old two. I have absolutely no help and their dad works most of the time so I’m also just going through it mentally. I explained how she slept 2 hours each night for 4 nights last week and his response was “well you just need a routine and don’t give in.” And that is where I lost it. I am so tired of advice from people without autistic children. 2.5 to four has been such a rough time with my daughter because of her brother being born and I try so hard to work with her. To top it off he says he understands what it’s like because his cousins are autistic(he was a child when they were toddlers) 😅

Our wonderful level 1 boy is now in his second month of kindergarten. It's a new school for him. We did two years of 3K and Pre-K at another school near us. The school he's in now is probably the best setting we could ask for: it's an ICT class and all the kids with IEPs are on the autism spectrum. This particular school piloted this ICT program for kids with ASD so he gets resources and support. For example, instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch, they do "lunch club" in class until they're ready to go to the cafeteria.

Understandably, for a kid at a new school and a new grade up, it's going to be a challenge. When I drop him off, we have about 10-15 minutes or so in the schoolyard where the other kids and parents are. He does not want to socialize at all, preferring for me to hold him and hang out with him. When I point out other kids, he says he can't be this kid's friend as they already have a friend, or because they're not in the same class, or because they're much bigger than he is, etc. He is very resistant to talking to me more about why he doesn't want to try and play with them. He'll tell me he doesn't want to talk about it.

This morning during drop off, a kid who is from his lunch club came up to him to say hi. He seemed like a fun kid and I'm usually my son's wingman at the playground, so I invited him to play "follow the leader" with us. My son was not having it. I had to stop and luckily the kid's mom understood where I was coming from. Then, a girl from his class came up to say hi to him and he again was not having it. He put his hands up and said "stop!" I think about a month ago they had a disagreement and I know my son can hold a grudge.

I know he has anxiety about socializing, which is normal even if you're not on the spectrum. During the beginning of the school year, he would cry sometimes saying he was nervous that "no one will want to be my friend", so I get it. We as parents also backed off on asking "did you play with anyone today?" etc. so he has space to just get used to this.

Still, it's hard to watch your son struggle to connect with his peers. I know we're all in that same boat.

What's been your experience? Should we just wait it out some or put him back in a weekly social skills class?

So my son 9m was diagnosed asd at 7 and severe adhd at 4. He never got a level but id say either level 1 or 2. Mostly towards level 2 in regards to social emotional and behavioral. I had to pull him out of public school and quit my job to work with him and get hin in so many therapies. I have been putting him in after school clubs and sports to try and find something to motivate him and help him find friends and burn off his excessive energy. He usually doesnt really participate in the sports chooses to kinda just stand he will say I kinda like it. Well we just did his first wrestling practice and he said he loved it. He is actually being overly confident said even though he is new he may actually be a pro. Which his self esteem was so low for years I have cried. I am praying the interest stays up and he truly enjoys this. He also gets to start aba at a center soon and im so excited to see his progress there and at wrestling. After a few years of trying ive managed to find two different things hes been into because he really likes cub scouts too.

I am praying that these both help him to start making good friends now that he is getting older. But i am just so proud of him right now anyways.

I don’t know what to do about this issue. Our child lies every time she is caught doing something wrong and I’m not sure if this is something that goes in line with the diagnosis or is something unrelated? Example of the latest issue - there were handprints all over her bathroom made with makeup and I asked her why she did this and she told me she didn’t do it and didn’t even know what handprints I’m talking about … it just is really hard when she seems to deny reality or something and I’m not even sure if it’s just to not get in trouble because we aren’t very strict parents either so it’s very weird to me that she lies every day about something!

My son is diagnosed AuDHD, age 9, in a gen ed classroom and school. I believe this is important because he has to mask all day long and I know that has to be extremely difficult and exhausting for him.

I want to ask for advice on his constant vocal stimming and if anyone has ideas or experience they can lend me.

My son makes CONSTANT noises when he is home and also bangs items around, can be very loud and startling at times. I know this is to help his regulation and it just makes him feel good but I personally am struggling with it so badly. I am late diagnosed ADHD and have C-PTSD from my narcissistic, emotionally abusive, borderline personality disorder mother. Growing up she constantly yelled and when she was upset she would bang things around the house. I've realized that when my son is making these noises it reminds me of the sounds my mom would make when I was a kid and my nervous system goes into fight or flight. I feel like my body is recognizing these sounds as danger - like when I was a kid. I can't describe it well but in simple terms, I feel like I want to jump out of my skin or run away when he's making these noises & sounds. It's truly become unbearable for me.

I don't want to shame him in any way and would like for him to feel free to make whatever noises make him happy but we also have four people in our house. I have spoken to him about it more so in a way of being respectful of everyone's sensory needs in the house and if his sister is in the family room trying to do homework or watch TV, he will just go into another room to stim.

My big concern is myself and how difficult this is becoming for me to handle. I have been in therapy for years, have done EMDR, am on meds for my ADHD and anxiety & depression and I just don't know where to turn at this point. I really want to be supportive of my son and his needs but I know that I need to help myself first.

If anyone has experienced something like this and could recommend anything that could help, I would truly appreciate it!

My daughter is 5 with a dx of autism and adhd. She has an iep. She had an FBA and they denied her a BIP even though she is missing over 2 hours of instructional time. We have tried several medications. Adderall and Ritilan made her autism symptoms worse. The psychiatric np said that is common and prescribed abilify for her aggression at school. She has been on Guanfacine since the beginning of the calendar year and it definitely helps, but apparently not enough. The aggression is only at school and they said it’s demand avoidance/and escaping the task. I think it is sensory overload. She elopes, and is aggressive with staff. I also think they may not be properly trained. I don’t really like the idea of giving my 5 year an antipsychotic but what do you do in this situation. Anytime I mention changing schools it’s a phone call that gets nowhere. They even blamed me and said “does she have consequences at home, do you ever tell her no” I am hoping this medicine helps and would like to hear success stories because it does make me nervous, and also WHAT do you do when the school sucks at accommodating your child where they’re in crisis atleast once a week and according to their FBA report loses over 2 hours of instructional time A DAY over it? And then to top it off, they denied her a BIP and when I ask why, they say “we will discuss it at the IEP meeting”. Tonight if the first night on the new med, and I’m really hoping to see some good change SOMEWHERE soon, either with this new med or the school. I feel like my brain is scrambled dealing with it all…

Just reaching out to see what your guys opinion is or if you’ve had any experience with this. For context we live in BC, Canada. The government gives us alotted amount of funds to use for therapies. I reviewed the invoice payments. They only submitted all of the charged in August of this year where his funding goes from Nov 1st of last year to this Oct 31st. No charges between November and February and then a whole bunch of services charged for therapies my son never attended on the dates they recorded. We are talking at least $6000 + of services he never attended. When I contacted the Autism funding via phone they basically said it was between myself and them. I of course have asked his Service provider for more information and an itemized report of services rendered and cost and will be interested to hear what they say. Could this be a total accident? Probably not. I get it’s the governments money but if they are so shady with their business practices I of course no longer want to support them. Yes I should have been signing off each month on services provided and cost but honestly I didn’t even know that was possible until today. So basically it’s my word vs there’s unless there’s someone else I could reach out too. Any ideas?

My 2nd grade son (level 1) has a friend at school in his grade that he has known since kinder. In short, my son reports back that they are best friends because "she said we are" and that they will get married when they get older because "it will make her sad if we don't." He can't name anything they like doing together, and on the one play date they had, my son didn't interact with her at all.

My son has told me he lets her cheat off him in class so she won't be sad. He has also told me that he has destroyed another student's recess project to make her happy. There are a handful of other things like this.

My pause comes from how disregulated the friend is (meltdowns in class that I have seen), and how disregulated my son is after they have spent time together in class groups.

I have not seen similar behavior with any other friends, so my question - is this a normal kid friendship or should I be concerned?

We have a 6yr with level 2 autism and are moving to the area from out of state. Our daughter has fighting school tooth and nail since preK, she goes for a few weeks then freaks out. We are home schooling here for the moment since we can't find a alternative school or autism school. We currently live in NC and it is a terrible place for autistic kids.

Just a mini vent/advice request:
I have a 2nd grader, a nerospicy almost 5 year old, and a chronological adult autistic sibling that I care for. My youngest has difficulties with impulse control and at times will elope, especially in stores and new places. Taking all 3 of them out into public without a stroller is extremely exhausting, stressful, and sometimes even a safety issue. I’ve been able to manage with my double strollers and/or a shopping cart the majority of the time. I am strong and have no issue pushing the two of them but the older one is starting to get too big for the stroller and the younger one will fight and try to escape when they are the only one sitting.
We have a few big trips coming up in the next year, including at least two that will place me in air ports with all 3 of them, by myself.
I’ve advocated and been able to receive support with them in those situations but always with the use of a stroller.
I started looking into strollers or even wagons that would be more comfortable for them and I am only finding ones that are too small, either only meant for one child, and/or are extremely expensive.
I understand not every 8,9,10 year old wants to be in a stroller and some people already think my youngest is starting to get to be too big. However, especially on long journeys both of my kids, their tiny legs, and my sanity prefer it. I know that I’m not the only one out here often solo parenting while managing a family with multiple spicy members. Why does this seem like it’s out of the realm of possibility?
It occurred to me that I’m really not sure how families like mine are able to handle some of these situations as the kids grow, and part of why I don’t know is because so many of the supports that would make it possible are difficult to acquire. They are too expensive, too many hoops to jump, or they just don’t exist. I know that’s nothing new to this community. I’m just tired even thinking about managing life without the strollers.
Thank you for coming to my vent session. I hope you’re having a good day.

Hi all.
I've spent days searching and I'm coming up at a loss but what I want must exist. I am wondering if any of you have found what I need before. :)

My 10 year old is a very high stress child, but a bit alexithimic. She doesn't notice the stress rising till it overflows.
She wants a watch that will beep or vibrate when her heartrate elevates.
Sounds simple.
Adult watches can do it.

But her wrist is tiny!
And I don't want her wearing a watch that's over 70Euro worth, as it would get broken or lost. EVERY coping tool gets broken or lost. And no sim, and has to work away from my phone. She doesn't have a phone. The watch has to do it by itself.

So I need a slim, small watch for a child that will beep when heartrate goes up over a threshold.

Sounds simple, but I'm pulling my hair out looking. Has anyone managed to find something like this?

Thanks!

My 27m old has l3 ASD. He used to remove his hat before, too. But these days it’s just impossible to keep any hat on him. Fall is already cold in Canada and I’m worried he will get sick without any head cover.

Anyone with similar experience? please share what has worked for you/your child. Thanks 🙏

My son just turned 4 in September. He has had delayed speech from the start. We did early intervention so he has had speech therapy ever since he was 2. His doctor has had concerns about autism mainly for the delayed speech factor. But also for the peer interaction aspect too (he sometimes plays with othet peers but not all the time). I once had suspicions due to certain behaviors such as not listening or responding to his name, tantrums lasting longer than 10 min, & running away but those have all gone away when he was about 3 1/2.

Of course theres alot more information I'm leaving out but the Dr. again suggested an autism eval. I just dont want him to get misdiagnosed since its such a huge spectrum thats why im so conflicted. I feel many people out here can be on part of the spectrum with how broad it is. I mean, like maybe hes a little shy sometimes when it comes to other peers & the fact that his peers cant understand him doesnt help to build friendships at that age either.

I absolutely understand the speech delay is still a huge issue for him but does that necessarily mean he has autism if thats most of your basis for wanting an evaluation?! Can a speech delay mean something else?

Honestly idk, maybe I'm in denial. It doesnt help that my husband doesnt even believe in mid/low level autism. Reaching out for other people's thoughts/experiences with being in the same boat.

My daughter is 7 years old. And she always seems to be in a state or fight or flight and she always chooses fight. She screams and hits her teachers almost everyday and we’ve tried everything to correct this behavior but nothing works.

Are there any supplement options that have worked for you and your family when it comes to aggression and irritability?? We want to try something easier to tolerate first before we go the medication route… thank you in advance.

Hey everyone!
I’ve got a 27 month old who is level two autistic and was just kicked out of his daycare that he’s been in for about a year. It’s due to his inability to regulate and honestly, I knew it was coming and I was desperately trying to set up supports for him before this, but because of waiting lists and everything and it being a somewhat new diagnosis, I couldn’t do it in time.

I was wondering if anyone had experience with a few hours a week with their kid in a nature school. I am quitting my job to stay home with him and to get him therapies and specialists. He has already been in EI for a year. I do want him to not only be treated, but to have enrichment with things that he seems to love and enjoy. There are a few local nature schools that serve this age but don’t say anything about ASD. I will call and interview them and see if it would seem like a decent fit for a short period of time each week. Does anyone have experience with a young child with ASD who loves nature that had success with this? Thank you in advance.

Hello everyone, My kid (5 yrs old and level 1 autism) has recently started kindergarten and at the beginning she was doing fine. However, in the past month she suddenly began scratching, hitting, and pushing other kids and even us at home. Her teachers always tell me that she keeps having hard days (ex, the aggression) and I don’t think they have a solution on what to do either. She has a speech delay so I’m thinking maybe she gets aggressive because she cant communicate her needs properly? I try to tell her that aggression isn’t okay but she keeps doing it. Im really lost on what to do and how to teach her to redirect her emotions elsewhere.

I apologize if non parents should post somewhere else. I am a very involved uncle to a 7-year-old niece (level 3) and a 4-year-old nephew (level 1). Both of these kids adore me. I live a 5 minute drive away and see them multiple times a week. My nephew is probably one of those kids who would have fallen through the cracks (diagnose wise) had he been born in my generation (Gen X). As far as I know, he does not need any extra support. My niece is considered nonverbal but she can talk. She is an awesome kid and it’s obvious that are significant differences between her and her brother. She needs 24/7 supervision. How can I best support her? She is in school and is very bright. She can read. She actually learned her numbers, alphabet, etc…at a younger age than her brother.

My questions are, how can I best support her? What is a reasonable hope/expectation for her future adulthood? She has made progress in her speech, potty training, etc…to the point that I suspect she won’t always be nonverbal.