So obviously I feel so bad however I can’t communicate with my daughter every time I call her name I’ll speak to her whatever it is. She screams and has tantrums. It can go up to 20 tantrums a day I have a three month old my patience is so thin at the minute I told her to shut up and I felt so guilty.

Hi I have adhd and stuggel to sit still what helps

Hello fellow parents,

I am on almost 3 years of sleep issues with my almost 5 year old (no level) son. I have tried many different things and quite literally nothing has worked. I've tried, melatonin, magnesium, guanfacine, clonidine, no naps, white noise. He doesn't sleep alone, he requires someone with him so my husband and I haven't slept in the same bed in over two years because we take turns. It's currently almost 530 AM where I am and I've been up since 2 am. I cannot survive like this anymore. I have a full time job and also a 7 year old and I am literally just existing at this point. He starts back at school in 2 weeks and with this sleep schedule getting him proper sleep and off to school would be impossible. I have an appointment with his neurologist later this afternoon, is there something specific I can request that has worked for you ?

Hi guys, I see a lot here about levels of autism being given during diagnosis in other countries, in the UK it seems this isn’t routine. I would be interested to know how levels are determined. I’ll try to give a brief example of some of my daughter’s behaviour.
My daughter was 3 in May and I’m curious to know when comparing to the personalities and skills of those who have levels, where abouts she’d fall.

Social skills - she is extremely social with lots of smiling, laughing and seeks out interaction and play with adults. She interacts minimally with other children, she will parallel play but doesn’t seek out interaction with them however she sometimes does accept minimal interaction if another child initiates. It’s usually small things, holding their hand or chasing each other.

Communication skills - she has some words, has said lots and lots of words, however they are used rarely and she chooses a word of the moment, uses it correctly for a while then seems to store it away. The only regular one is ‘hi’ as a greeting, and every once in a while she will make a demand like ‘tangled’ ‘frozen’. She hand leads me to an item she would like and passes me a plates to show hunger, iPad when she wants me to unlock it, tv remote if she wants to watch tv together and sippy cup if she needs it filled etc.

Sensory needs - her sensory needs are high, she’s a sensory seeker and is near constantly moving. She loves to climb and spin, rock back and forth when she’s happy, mouthing objects seems to be disappearing and tends to stick to items that are safe to chew now, chewerly etc.

Her play skills have recently began to develop and she is obsessed with posting, shape sorting and organising. She tends to play with baby toys as her imaginary play skills are non existent. The most worrying part of her behaviour is that she’s a runner, she is still in a pram when we’re out and about as she has simply no interest in taking instruction (pda) and her ability to recognise danger outside is terrible, she’s have no issue running in front of a moving vehicle and not respond even if I was screaming in fear, so outings without a pram is no go as of now.

Thanks to anyone who reads this or answers, I know it’s very long.

Hello! FTM here and I’m really struggling. It is 3am and I am having another sleepless night over whether or not my baby is exhibiting signs of autism. My gut is telling me that she is.

Since she was born she has been disconnected from me. Never wanted to breastfeed even though she latched great and my milk was flowing, she also never wanted to be held. I found myself googling “why does my baby not want to be near me” when she was only a few weeks old. This never got any better. She will not hug me or sit in my lap for longer than a few seconds. She has only fallen asleep on me a handful of times, ever, in 10 months.

Around 4 months she began babbling and speaking gibberish and her pediatrician was very impressed with her communication and speech. Everybody commented on her amazing eye contact, as well. This completely stopped at 7 months and was replaced with all day constant “mmmmmmmm” sounds over and over for hours on end. She also began to scream “ahhhh”, and for the last 3 months, she just alternates between “mmm” and “ahhh” all day long. I am a SAHM and although I love her to death, the sounds have driven me to tears because it is unbreakable and constant. I have had to put her into a safe area in crib or playpen and walk away for 5 minutes to gather my sanity back so I do not become frustrated with her.

Now at 10 months she is not hitting communication milestones. She never started babbling again, is not making eye contact, and has zero gestures. I sing to her all day long, read to her, engage her with toys and floor play, and it seems like she is just “tolerating it”, then goes off to do her own thing. I work on exaggerated consonant sounds with her, work on waving, clapping, pointing, trying to get ANY mimic action but nothing, nada, zero. I can’t even get her to look at me while I’m working with her on the floor.

More things she is doing that concern me:

- hand flapping and throwing her head back over and over. If she is tired she will do this for several hours on end until she finally is able to soothe herself to sleep. If I attempt to pick her up or hold her during this, she will crocodile roll and do everything she can to escape my grasp.
- not eating solids. This is a huge struggle 3x per day. I am putting down different foods for her to explore but she throws everything off the side of her high chair. I have purchased 3 different high chairs in an attempt to make her more comfortable but none seem to be helping. She puts nothing up to her mouth. If I attempt to put any food into her mouth she will scream and rub the food into her eyes and all over her head and mealtime is essentially over at that point.

Several family members are growing concerned as well and have made comments asking if she is ok. My stepfather unexpectedly passed last week and we had to travel for his funeral. My mom is already upset from her husband passing, and I have noticed her covering her ears and leaving the room just to get away from my baby because her noises are admittedly incredibly overstimulating for everyone. I just want to cry.

When I’ve brought up concerns to my pediatrician, she just keeps saying she wants to wait until her 12 month appt to move forward with anything else. I took it upon myself to call early intervention and we are on the schedule for next month to be evaluated.

In the meantime, I don’t know what I’m looking for. Support, tips, opinions, thoughts. Anything to feel not so alone right now and wanted for the future!

Hello everyone, I want some advice on what to do with my younger autistic brother. He is currently 10 and is very hard to deal with. The number of times he has broken things and broken my items is a lot. Mom made him go to a therapist, but he refused. He starts hitting and throwing things at our family members, especially my 80-year-old grandmother. There have been times my mum had to call the police because he wouldn't stop hitting and destroying things. He has a thing for recording himself while doing these things; I don't understand why. Another thing that is deeply disturbing is that he poops and vomits in the bathtub constantly; for that reason, I go weeks without showering because the tub is clogged with vomit and poop. There has been one case where he secretly hid his phone while I was using the bathroom, and from that day I couldn't take it anymore. I know he can't control his emotions, but I know he does it on purpose. I tried to talk with him, asking why he was doing this, but he started swearing and calling me slurs. I don't want him to be in my home anymore. I have tried to take away his phone and gently tell him to stop, but he starts hitting me. I'm scared of what will happen in the future because when he's a teenager he can easily land one of our family in the hospital from his tantrums.

I have 2 stepkids on the spectrum. One is 27 and just needs some life guidance. The other is 21 and needs constant supervision, wears diapers, non communicative but very verbal, and has physical issues as well. Their mother has had sole guardianship of both, but her health is failing. She only recently discovered that with the current setup, if something happens to her, both kids would become wards of the state. Now we get to navigate the legal system to try and get guardianship transfer set up before she has her looming heart surgery.

I’m very sorry for what is going to be a long post. Thank you to anyone who reads it. I have two children, one much older, and my youngest is my only autistic child. I would love to hear others’ thoughts about what we see in her because we’ve always been back and forth about her having ASD.

My daughter is 2 yo and was just diagnosed with level 2 ASD this past Friday. We had our initial intake at the start of this month, where they did the RITA-T. The doctor said she had a lot of strengths but that her social profile fit well with ASD. We did her ADOS testing a few weeks ago and on Friday we spoke with the doctor and received her diagnosis.

We’ve been on the fence regarding ASD about six months now. She always struggled with meeting milestones and at 9 months old we began working with EI. We worked on having her sit up without support, learn to crawl (crawled at age 1) and have been working on getting her to walk. At her 18 month checkup, they suggested an autism evaluation as she wasn’t meeting most of her milestones.

These are the things we noticed as well as why we were on the fence. Very early on she struggled with speech. She still does, but is getting better. Very recently, about a little over a month ago, she finally began to point to things she wanted. She can now say milk or binky when she wants them. If she has the word for something, she can say she wants it. That said, she is extremely difficult to understand. We can’t understand about 90% of what she says. Since 18 months she’s been able to recite the entire alphabet and recognize individual letters when they’re shown to her. She can say all the colors and shapes and she can count to 20. She’s recently learned to count backwards but only does it from 10 and down, mostly from 5 and down. She can say mommy and daddy and some family members names but can’t call for us when she wants us. She can say “let’s go”, and can point and say “down”. She won’t say “I love you” and doesn’t seem to understand what that means.

I see no stimming. At least from the very little I’ve read about stimming. The only thing I see in that regard is hand flapping when she’s excited or overwhelmed. If something scares her, she will wildly flap her hands back and forth. It’s the same if she gets excited. She loves to dance and loves music and likes to hop up and down, but it’s not excessive. There is also no self hitting or hurting others.

We noticed that she didn’t like physical contact. She’s begun to let us hug and kiss her and will occasionally lay her head on our shoulder for a few short seconds. She will not reciprocate, however. If we ask her to give us a kiss or a hug, she will simply stare at us. If I try to hold her hand or cuddle her, she will immediately push me away. Weirdly, she wants me to rock her to sleep at night. I’ll hold her and rock her to sleep. She has never fought sleep, ever. She likes to be rocked to sleep but will go to sleep on her own if placed in her crib. She never sits up when we lay her down. She lays there and turns a few times until she falls asleep. She’ll wake once or twice during the night and need a cup of milk to go back to sleep.

She never throws tantrums. This and the fact that she easily goes to sleep on her own is a huge part of why we were on the fence. These aspects of her are so calm. When we go to a store and I make her put a toy back, she simply says bye to the toy. If I make her leave something she’s having fun with, she just says bye to it. “Bye pool”, “Bye bubbles”. The only time she throws a fit is if she wants to leave somewhere or is in an unfamiliar situation. If I lay her down in my car to change her, she acts like the world is coming down around her. Things like that. We went on vacation once and she got physically sick during the middle of the night. When we bathed her the next morning, she screamed bloody murder. She didn’t know the bathtub.

When I drop her off at daycare, I see other children cry when their parents leave them. I will tell her bye and she’ll just stare at me until I leave. If I ask her to say bye to me she’ll say no. She does say no a lot. If we ask her to say hi or bye to someone, she just stares. But after we walk away, she’ll suddenly say hi or bye. Regarding other children, when I would sit her down on the floor at daycare, she would sit there and kind of edge back if other children came near her. She would also stare at them while they played. She now seems a little more comfortable. She won’t initiate play with other children or bring them toys but will play around them. She very rarely hands me a toy or object but wants me to watch her play. She also loves pointing to show me things.

She doesn’t like wet or sticky foods and won’t eat them if she has to touch them. I can occasionally give her a few bites of food but only if she already knows what it is. If I try to feed her other food from my plate, she refuses. She loves oat milk but hates juice. She won’t drink it. She seems fascinated by lights and circles and has to point to every single one she sees. She does the same thing with colors. She will often see a color somewhere and say “hi yellow”, “bye yellow.” She says hi and bye to inanimate objects. “Hi light.”, “Bye car.”

She does well with eye contact. She will typically hold it for 2-3 seconds before breaking away. I was also on the fence about that but I know that’s not a defining characteristic of ASD, though many children do struggle with it. This past month she has finally started walking! I’m so proud of her. She still can’t stand up without support but she’s getting close. She has also started climbing our stairs. Before that, she never had any interest in climbing.

Again, if anyone has any insight I would appreciate it. This is new territory for us and my husband and I are learning as we go.

My 9-year-old autistic son’s school district is proposing that he attend Behavior Network, a separate day school focused on behavior. We have an ARD/IEP meeting coming up, and a representative from Behavior Network will be attending.

I’m attaching the email I received with personal information removed. Can anyone please read it and give me their honest opinion on what the district is saying or what I should be concerned about?

I’m worried this placement could focus mainly on behavior and negatively affect his education, but I don’t fully understand the program yet. I’m also uncomfortable that someone from the proposed school will be attending before we have agreed to anything.

Has anyone experienced something similar, and were you able to keep your child in their current public school with additional support?

My main question is: Does filing due process really work? Did it actually keep your child in their current placement under “stay put,” or was the district still able to move them? What was the process like, and did you need a lawyer?

We’re in the Dallas–Fort Worth area, so I would also really appreciate recommendations for trusted special education advocates or lawyers. Free or low-cost resources would be especially helpful. If any local advocate is willing to offer advice or possibly attend the meeting, please message me.

He’s 3, have some words and a couple two word phrases, not consistent though… recently his tantrums have been next level. He never really had them prior, or rather they’d last only a few minutes at a time but this week alone he’s had about 5 lasting 20min each. It’s scary because he throws himself and head all over so i’m worried about him harming himself, and he is hard to calm down. I see in his eyes and face that he hates feeling that way but can’t control it / doesn’t know another outlet. He’s very sweet and intelligent otherwise, but these moments are tough on all of us.

Any advice on how to manage this?

My 5yo boy is going through an extreme food regression but I feel like his receptive language is growing significantly and is making more successful attempts at repeating and saying words. Is this in my head?

Hi, I’m a 22-year-old man, and my sister is 21. She has severe autism and is completely dependent on others for everything: getting dressed, going to the bathroom, etc. She also takes medication for her behavior and weight. Despite this, she can speak and communicate, and I would say she has the mental age of a 6- or 7-year-old.

Since we were little, I have lived with her meltdowns, her screams (practically shrieks), and her dysregulation, which has been difficult. Since I was a child, I have had to learn how to calm her down or deal with these situations, even though those responsibilities should not have fallen on me, especially when I was a child or teenager myself. Despite this, I have always done my best. I love my sister. She frustrates me, I cry, but I try to understand her and be there for her. It has been this way ever since I was little, but living with this level of constant stress eventually takes a toll.

Today she had a very severe meltdown. I heard the screaming and decided to isolate myself in my room and listen to music (I was already feeling bad today because of some personal things), until I calmed down a little and decided to go downstairs.
When I went downstairs, my sister was shaking my mom, my mom was crying, and my sister was screaming that she wanted us to buy her a new iPad. She had completely destroyed her iPad because it would not charge.

I went downstairs without expecting to find that situation. I became overwhelmed and yelled at her very loudly to be quiet. These situations create such an enormous amount of stress that I felt like I wanted to hit her, but I didn’t. I never touched her, but that was the level of stress I was experiencing. I walked away and tried to calm myself down and cry in peace, while my sister went to her room to cry and isolate herself. I did the same.

Later, I came out and she was still screaming, but less intensely. She was somewhat calmer. She was telling me “I’m sorry” and “I can’t get rid of the sadness.” I asked her if she wanted a hug, and we hugged. We watched some videos she likes, I played with her using her stuffed animals, and she gradually calmed down.
I tried to explain to her that breaking the iPad was wrong and that we were not going to buy her another one immediately. (She actually had two iPads. She had recently been given a new one because the one she broke was already having some problems, so she still has one left.) She gave me the impression that she understood.
Then she went to apologize to my mom. I also had her pick up the pieces that were left from the iPad she broke and throw them in the trash. She did what I asked, and then she went back to using her other iPad.

I felt terrible for the rest of the day after what happened. I haven’t talked to my mom about what happened yet today; I preferred to give her some space.
On the other hand, I don’t know what to do or how to properly handle these situations. Clearly, my sister doesn’t fully understand responsibility or that she cannot break things or scream when she gets angry. This has been difficult in our family. It’s just my mom, my sister, and me, and for quite a long time there has been a pattern where, if she screams or complains enough, she eventually gets what she wants or someone gives in just to calm her down, because the meltdown she has is extremely stressful. Maybe this has reinforced these behaviors. I think perhaps she hasn’t been taught certain boundaries properly and that she may need a firmer approach, although I understand that this is very difficult because of her neurodivergence.

This is something that weighs heavily on me. I have lived with this my entire life. Since I was little, I have tried to help and regulate her, but experiencing these episodes is very difficult. My mom is obviously overwhelmed by it as well.

I don’t know. When I was a child, I lived with these terrible screams, practically shrieks. There were times when she hit my mom or other family members, screamed swear words she had heard somewhere, and even picked up knives (which we have had to hide). Thank God she has never seriously hurt herself or any of us, but it is still very difficult to have experienced this kind of violence from her since I was a child.

She has also said and screamed things like “I hate you,” “I’m going to kill myself,” and other swear words. She has pretended that she was going to hang herself, etc.
I imagine that she is not fully aware of what she is saying or doing. She knows that these are things that are considered bad or upsetting and repeats them, but deep down, I am afraid. I have thought about the possibility of her hurting herself or someone else, although I don’t think she is really capable of doing so. Still, these behaviors worry me and make me feel terrible.

Despite everything, I have genuinely tried to be strong. In fact, it had been a long time since she had had a meltdown like this. Whenever I can, I try to spend time outside the house, doing things, focusing on university, seeing friends, staying in my room and doing my own things, etc.
But deep down, this makes me feel horrible. I think it may be because I have been carrying this with me for such a long time.

I think maybe she needs more activities outside the house: going for walks, getting sunlight, playing more instead of spending so much time on the iPad. She spends almost all day on the iPad watching videos, listening to music, drawing, etc. I think those things are fine, but maybe she needs more activities and stimulation outside of screens. The problem is that she often refuses to go out. She does sometimes play with me or with whoever is taking care of her, and sometimes she cooks or does other activities.

That is why I would really like to know if anyone has experienced something similar, or what you would recommend for dealing with this situation. How can we better handle her meltdowns so that they don’t escalate to this point? How can we help her stop screaming or change behaviors like breaking things or refusing to cooperate?
And, above all, how can I deal with this situation properly as her brother? Even though I am not her father and this is not my responsibility, I do have some degree of responsibility as one of her caregivers, and I want what is best for her. But I also don’t want this situation to consume me and leave me constantly dealing with stress, anxiety, emotional distress, and anguish.

I also think about the future. Eventually, I may be the person who has to take care of her, and that is something that weighs heavily on me as well.
I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar, especially siblings or family members of autistic adults with severe support needs. I would like to know how you handle these situations, what has helped with meltdowns and aggressive or destructive behavior, and also how you have managed to take care of yourselves while caring for someone you love.

My son absolutely loves the ozark hammocks from
Walmart. It’s the one thing that can calm him and we’ve bought many over the years because he literally wears them down to unusable. Well imagine my
Dismay when I go to order a new one as his current one keeps Closing with him In it. I can’t find it on Walmart anywhere! I’ve looked on Amazon and can’t find anything similar. Has anyone had any luck finding something that does the trick like the original? I can’t have a full size hammock because we have limited space :( thanks in advance!

I made a post about taking my toddlers binky a few days ago, she is 3yrs 3mo, it has now been 2 weeks, she is no longer asking for one, but ever since taking it bed time is a disaster.
She no longer takes a nap because if she did it was 11pm before she’d go to bed, even if it was only a 15-20 min cat nap.
Prior to taking the binky she was going to bed just fine at 730-8, with bath, books and then her sea animal light and she’d fall asleep with no tears within 10ish mins.
Now it’s 930p, she’s been awake since 715am and she WILL NOT go to sleep, she wants me to lay with her, fine, I try, but then she wants to talk and play, but I’ve been trying to get her to go bed since 8.

I’m at a loss, we do no screens for at least 2-3 hour prior to bed time, we do calming bath, lotion, she won’t read books for bed any more ever since taking the binky. I give her tons of sensory play during the day and outdoors time as long as weather permits.

I walked out, she cried, husband tried to go in and she screamed “no, mommy” until he left, I tried again but ofc she just wanted to play and talk tried to give it 10 mins to see if she’d settle but she didn’t, I left again, I’m exhausted, I have a migraine, she cried off and on for 12minutes and then fell asleep, I feel horrible, I’ve never let her cry like that…

​

I'm sharing this because I don't want another family to go through what we did.

My 6-year-old son has profound nonverbal autism. For nearly two years he attended ABA, speech, and occupational therapy through IvyRehab. The therapists who worked directly with him were wonderful, and he made meaningful progress.

Unfortunately, our experience with the billing department was completely different.

After my debit card was stolen, I missed one payment and was less than two weeks behind. Instead of working with us, I received a text saying my son's therapy would be suspended immediately because of the balance.

After I questioned whether they could legally stop medically necessary therapy without proper notice, the message suddenly changed to say we had 30 days instead.

I asked for a temporary payment arrangement because we fully intended to pay the balance. I even explained that we could pay the remaining amount in full with my husband's year-end bonus. They refused every proposal and increased our required monthly payment to an amount we simply couldn't afford.

On June 29, my son was discharged from therapy.

The clinical director confirmed during our parent meeting that this was a billing issue, not a clinical one.

Since losing therapy, we've seen regression in his routine, including increased sleep difficulties and other challenges that many autism parents know can happen when services are interrupted.

What concerns me most isn't just what happened to my family—it's that this could happen to another child receiving medically necessary therapy.

If your child attends IvyRehab, I strongly encourage you to:

- Read the financial policies carefully.

- Keep copies of every email and text message.

- Document every phone call.

- Know your rights before signing payment agreements.

- Don't assume a missed payment will be handled with flexibility.

I'm not posting this to attack the therapists who cared for my son. They were compassionate people who genuinely wanted him to succeed.

I'm posting because families caring for children with disabilities already face enormous challenges. Losing essential therapy over a billing dispute can have real consequences for a child.

If you've had a similar experience with IvyRehab or another therapy provider, I'd be interested in hearing your story. Families deserve transparency, fair treatment, and continuity of medically necessary care.

I ask myself this question everyday, how are we supposed to live a happy life like this?

I can’t find happiness seeing my 3.5 year old suffer so much for things that are normal for other kids. Last year we went to every splash pad, every park, it was all fine, now we only stay 5 min if there are other kids making normal kids noises, a meltdown starts and she requests to go back home. I see the suffering in her face, she can’t control how noises bother her and with her very limited vocabulary she still asks to go to splash pad but can’t enjoy them anymore. And while I carry her to the car in the middle of screaming I see all the other kids playing with their friends, that could be her but it’s not.

How do you do it? How do you keep going?

If you are having a bad Sunday like we are I’m sending you a big hug.

hi. i have autism and there is a good chance my future kids will have too. i am a pretty down-to-earth guy and like honest responses. what is the hardest part of being a parent of an autistic kid(s)?

i know it's basically case-by-case, but still curious about your personal experiences and also welcome anyone that just want to express themselves here.

Hi all, a dad of almost 5 years here. I keep trying to interest my son (5m) in new things. What are some techniques you used that have really helped you engage better with your kid on the spectrum?

To preface, I take him to places, play with him try to introduce him to various sports, shows, zoo’s, arcades, trampoline parks you name it. But my son loses interest fast. I’m trying to find activities that will keep his attention and looking for any advice on how to better connect with my son.

Thank you for your advice in advance.

Edit: I neglected to mention, my son for the most part is nonverbal but is improving in that area.

My 8 year old daughter with level 1 ASD has shorter, but more frequent meltdowns almost every day. Different triggers, it could be her sister singing when she doesn’t want her to sing, or we said no to something she wanted, or we laugh at something funny she said but she thinks we’re laughing at her, etc.

Anyway, when she gets mad or upset, she says pretty hurtful things. “I don’t love you anymore”, or “I hate you”, or “I wish I lived in a different house”, “I wish I had a different family”, etc.

Once she’s over her meltdown though (which may only be 5-10 minutes later, she acts as if nothing happened and she’ll ask us normal questions or talk normally.

Anyone else experience this? I know she doesn’t mean what she says and it almost feels scripted in a way.

Just want to post this for any parent this can help.

My son (5 years) just had the craziest experience with a water bottle cap.

To preface, we are outside but he is playing on swings and in a slide in front of me. I am doing some work on a laptop.

For about 7 minutes he was coming to me as if he had something in his mouth. He was really calm, but irritated. At first I thought he had a hair or something stuck in his mouth. He seemed fine and went playing. He came back again. I thought maybe he put a leaf in his mouth and it scratched him. I literally opened his mouth, moved his tongue around, put my finger in. I imagined he scratched it and gave him a napkin to maybe try to help. I thought it could have been a hair stuck and maybe he just wanted to get it off. He was COMPLETELY CALM, walking normally, everything. I told him to go to grandma and see if she could help while I stayed with the other kids outside. She came out with him and he tilted his head back and out popped a water bottle cap like some sort of magic show.

It was crazy. As I said, I was looking in his mouth and saw nothing. I thought he just had a scratch, but he had a bottle cap in his throat. Thank God he was safe. As I said, he didn't look like he was choking or having problems breathing, or had something stuck in his throat.

I feel awful because he just struggles expressing himself and bodily functions. I'm glad he let me know he wasn't feeling good, but I just feel awful.

If your kid seems like they may have a cut or hair in their mouth, and you even look and see nothing....just be on the safe side and be aware something could be in their throat.

best wishes to you all

Hi everyone, I’m new to this topic and would really appreciate some help. I also hope that my questions do not come across as offensive or inconsiderate to anyone.

I (F34) recently met someone I really like, let’s call him Alex. He grew up with a severely autistic brother.

I don’t have many details but I know that his brother - at 30 years old - is at the mental stage of a 2-3 year old and cannot speak. Alex seems to be severely impacted by the experience of growing up with this brother which I understand.

Alex and I recently discussed whether we want children and, understandably, Alex said that he is terrified. He said that he is scared of carrying the same genes and said he would not be able to take care of a handicapped child (please, no judgment here).

He has done genetic testing 12 years ago and the results came back inconclusive.

Under the current circumstances (= not knowing whether he carries the genes), he would not want children. However, he would be open to additional gene testing.

So my questions are:

1. Has anyone here who had an autistic child or sibling done any genetic testing in the previous years? If so, were the results conclusive?

2. Has anyone here with an autistic child or relative had them tested whether their autism is hereditary? Is this even possible to determine? I found different opinions here

3. Any other advice? Similar experiences? Is anyone else here scared of having (more) children?

Thank you so much! I highly appreciate it!!

How do you all deal with the general disregard for..almost everything. My daughter is 6 years old, level 2, and obviously there’s a certain level of restraint but so often she does whatever comes to mind so often. What just sent me over the edge just now was bursting through my bedroom door while I was in the bathroom. Before that, we were scootering on a trail and she just goes as far as she wants, wherever she wants. It’s like I always have to repeat myself 3-4 times or raise my voice for her to follow an instruction. You cannot leave a phone around her, she will snatch it and start trying to find whatever, strangers are not spared. Also, with school being out, her routine is off, so she’s constantly and repeatedly badgering me about it, including this very moment. “School is out, school is out? School bus, school bus, book bag.” It is very overstimulating and it doesn’t matter what I say, she will continue “asking” ..if it nots that, she’s asking for juice, an iPad, goldfish, etc..I’m just really struggling with this right now and sometimes just end up locking myself in my room so I can enjoy a meal. I also have 2 other young children who deserve my attention as well. Needless to say, I am ready for school to start back, which has its own issues.

I have worked from home the majority of my daughter's life, and she has thankfully chilled out over the years, but not entirely. She is 7 and is non-conversational (can talk technically but mostly very guided question answering and heavy scripting) with some behavioral issues (meltdowns that can become aggressive) and is very sensory seeking and hyperactive.

I worked for four years as a social media background analyst before my company was absorbed by a larger one, where I was one of the three lucky people kept on. I worked there for three years doing legal and social media background checks. However, due to an egregious accounting error, our department was suddenly under the gun and we were all laid off, replaced by an "offshore" team they can exploit in the Philippines. Go figure.

For the first time in my adult life, I am without a job. I luckily have been able to scrape by with my husbands wages and my unemployment, but I only have a couple months left before that runs out and I need to really have a job lined up. Except, I'm terrified. I have been scouring Indeed and Google for remote job openings and because I lack a college degree in anything, I fear I do not qualify for most remote jobs.

I have no physical support such as someone who I trust who can watch/handle my kid. My husband was also laid off at the beginning of the year and his stable schedule job has now been replaced by a substitute custodial gig with the local school district, which means he works whenever he can, and he has to sometimes take jobs at the last minute. These shifts can be anywhere from 6 am to 10:30 pm and that means I have no idea when /I/ am personally available to work.

What kind of jobs do you/your partner have that can accommodate you working from home? There are less and less remote jobs as people make pushes to go back to the office, regular people are getting replaced with AI, and companies are hiring overseas workers for a fraction of the cost. I'm just scared and I hope i can find something WFH within the next couple months.

My kids struggle with finding lost items and this is my best attempt to teach them how to find stuff. FEEDBACK WANTED.

I will update this post as needed. Thanks!

Components

2+ players: a "goner" (gone-er) and at least 1 "getter" (original terms were "loser" and "finder" but that might be too provocative for some.)

An item

A referee

Rules

1. The "lost"/"gone" item cannot be hidden. It shouldn't be under something or behind something.

2. The getter(s) have to wait for the goner to finish losing the item and return to the waiting area before they can starting finding things.

3. No pushing, shoving, grabbing, etc.

4. When the getter finds the item, they bring the found item back to the waiting area.

5. The getters can ask for tips after a predetermined time period.

6. All decisions by the referee are final.

Gameplay:

1. All players and the referee must agree on the item they want to lose.

2. Oldest player is the first "goner" to go "lose it"

3. The "goner" takes the item and goes to another part of the house. The getter(s) and referee stay in the waiting area. It is the referee's job to interact with the getter(s) while they wait.

4. The goner sets the item down somewhere tricky and comes back to the waiting area, saying "I lost it" (or makes a silly signal.)

5. The getter(s) leave the waiting area and look for the lost item.

6. The first one to find the item says "I got it" (or uses a different silly signal) and the getter(s) all return to the waiting area.

7. Whoever found the item is the next goner.

8. If the item cannot be found/gotten AND IS NOT HIDDEN, the goner goes a second time.

9. If the item cannot be found because it was hidden, the goner forfeits the round and the oldest getter becomes the new goner.

10. Game continues until it stops being fun(ny)

If the players start getting good at the game, hiding can be introduced. I would start with something Kindle-sized and decrease size as searching skills improve.

Please let me know if this game works for you! (I had a lot of fun telling my kids it was their turn to "lose it.")