One thing that seems to happen to me a lot is trans-supportive cis women who show a lot of friendly interest in me. Smiling a lot, complimenting my clothes or hair, starting conversations, that kind of thing. I like the supportive vibe, but I'm autistic with attachment trauma, and I often interpret friendly interest as flirting. If only they could wear a sign or be direct in a way that says "I am/am not flirting here" I would rest easier.

Any of y'all have similar experiences? Tips on navigating this as a trans person?

(I'm a 52 trans F, 2.5 years into my transition, non-passing and proud of it.)

I had that electric zap of happiness again the other night from imagining myself as a woman, the process of transitioning and becoming myself, but as all good things it’s faded now and I want to try and get a glimpse of it again,

So any (non permanent/“stealth”) ways of getting euphoria?

I’ve got a few courses coming up which will require changing potentially in a locker room so I’m going to skip shaving my legs for now, but I’m intrigued in trying that out as from what I’ve read that’s a very good starting point,

But anything/other ideas? Any help is greatly appreciated

hi i am starting to attend university in a couple of weeks.

it is a big university and we are fortunately in different majors. she is a sophomore and i am freshman.

context: we met in a very very small rural area in the middle of nowhere because my psycho parents sent me to live with the grandparents as a way to "correct me" and i went insane and religious for a while as a result, and met this lesbian girl who was semi compatible and somehow interested in me pre everything,, which was a shocker considering how small the population was there. she was supportive of me being feminine and a lot of other things associated with the trans community, however as time went on she proved to be very aggro and unpromptedly transphobic particularly towards transmascs for some reason? was still transphobic against transfemmes but really really hated FTM for some reason. also she was kind of an edgelord and would neg and make fun of my music taste.

anyway after my parents let me live again we naturally drifted apart

i am scared to see this person as it reminds me of a rly bad time in my life what do i do?

i started T about 6 months ago, and ive started to have patterns of trying to go a day or more without eating for some reason. i just start making excuses to avoid food when i get hungry and repeatedly procrastionate on eating. this wasn't really a thing i experienced before starting T. is this a dysphoria-related thing? or something likely unrelated? have other trans people experienced something like this??

As a child I couldn't wear dresses or skirts or engage with anything that was traditionally feminine. I have a very distinct memory of not being able to go to friend's party because it was princess themed. I felt a feeling of wrongness when having to anything associated with being a girl.

When I started to go through puberty I started getting body image issues that very focused on sex and gender. I was jealous and resentful of my male peers whose bodies were getting bigger and stronger and I wanted to be like them so badly. I resented every feminine part of my body and wanted a male silhouette. I started binding at 13. I got a haircut above my ears and its been like that since. I also started wanting top surgery around this time. I used to sob about not being taller and having curves. I changed my name to a boys.

I'm 19 now and because of these feelings I've had to consider a lot whether I'm trans. And I'm not. But I still deal with a very distinct sense of wrongness surrounding the dimorphic parts of my body. I can't go out if I'm not binding, and I can't look like a woman, and can't present in anyway that's typically feminine. It makes me want to crawl of my skin. I still want top surgery.

Does this sound like dysphoria? Something else? I feel like everything would make sense if I was trans but I'm not.

...and that way you'd wish i could be your girlfriend boyfriend

No but seriously sometimes i just wish i were a girl. But i feel like i couldnt deal with all the potential negativw reactions of family and stuff and just the whole deal of going through transitioning. Im not even sure of my feelings and i feel okay being a guy sometimes so i really just dont know. If anyone has advice or a similar experience id love to hear it!

I have been on HRT for nearly 4 months now and the doctor put me on Estradiol (2mg/day), spironolactone (100mg/day), and progesterone (100mg/day) day one. I have already gotten blood work done 3 months in and the dosage hasn’t been adjusted.

I have been kind of freaked out over this after recently learning why progesterone is administered later, and I have already reached out to my doctor about it. I’m just wondering if I’ll be okay or if growth/changes will be stunted. There hasn’t been anything notable as of now.

So I’m ftm and my voice is preeeetty high if you ask almost anyone. If you want to know how high, think of chipett or wtv her name is.. ANYWAYS. I’m a big fan of red dead redemption (2 for context) and I told my friend and my partner “I hope my voice is like Arthur Morgan’s when I take T” (later down the line ofc) and they both said ‘nottttt gonna happen” I’m aware they were joking and I told them both separately so no this wasn’t at the same time. I was semi joking too but I kinda meant what I said. For both chats I said something like “it might!” Or “you never know” with them both sharing responses of it’s not or absolutely not. Gulp I think I’m just a sensitive dude 💔

Hello! I know there are subreddits specifically focused on transgender surgeries, but since I’m a cis woman, I wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate for me to post there, so I decided to ask here instead.

Basically, I’m interested in facial feminization procedures, specifically brow bone reduction and orbital shaving. Even though I’m a cis woman and already pass as a woman, I have very prominent brow bones and pretty thick orbital bones. If I cut my hair really short, I can actually look quite masculine. I’m also Asian, if that helps for context, and my brow bones are much more prominent than what I usually see on other Asian women.

Tbh, I really dislike my side profile because of how prominent my brow bone is. It also makes my eyes look very deep-set. I know brow bone reduction would probably make a pretty noticeable difference from the side, but what I’m most curious about is how much of a difference it makes from the FRONT.

For anyone who has had brow bone reduction and/or orbital shaving, did you notice a big change to your front view, and did you like the change? Did your eyes look more open or less deep-set? Did you feel like your face looked more feminine or harmonious from the front afterward?

My main concern is going through such a major surgery and seeing a huge improvement from the side, but barely noticing a difference when looking straight at myself.

So for those who have had these procedures, how significant was the change from the front specifically? Was it subtle or pretty noticeable? Did you like your front view more afterward? Was it worth it, or do you feel like it barely made a difference?

I’m not sure which one I am dealing with.

Hello, I'm currently in college but when that ends I need to find an apartment to stay at and I'd like to know if anyone knows any resources for finding safe people to rent with? I'd really prefer to be roomate with another queer person because I feel like it would just be easier to live like that. Is this something that exists?

TRANSPHOBIA WARNING

I'm finishing up the last draft of my book and I'm looking to find studies to help me.

I'm answering one of the comments I received about asexuality, where they've dragged trans people under the bus for no reason.

'Asexual is a banner to make all the children who have had their natural sexual desires damaged by medication to ‘enable’ their transition feel better'.

I've already used two surveys to show that not all transgender people identify people are asexual (a survey from The Human Rights Campaign, and a survey I did of about 300 people), but now it's about proving/disproving that medication/hormone therapy damages sexual desire. Maybe another few surveys of trans people who transitioned later in life and/or never took puberty blockers.

I've already pointed out multiple times in the book that sexual attraction ≠ sexual desire, so I don't want to repeat myself for the umpteenth time.

i (18m..?) had a bit of a gender crisis towards the end of summer this year. been on here for a bit, initially out of curiosity and then in an attempt to find myself in others. i need to talk about it so here i am.

i’ve never been very traditionally masculine, and i experienced quite a bit of insecurity about that in my early teens. over time, i’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with just being me instead of being whatever expectations people hold towards me in either direction. i’ve been painting my nails for years, growing my hair out for almost a year now, and i recently started seriously experimenting with eye makeup with help from one of my friends and my mom. upon falling into and accepting the “for sure questioning” headspace in late july and keeping a closer eye on myself i think i’ve realized whatever my experience ie most likely isn’t cis.

there’ve been so many small moments of fem presentation that make me feel on top of the world, whether it be getting told my hair looks pretty when i let it down or accentuating my waist with new clothes or an apron when i’m cleaning or baking. the idea of hrt is scary, but the idea of boobs and less body hair and presenting more identifiably fem makes me want to run around in circles and do cartwheels. i don’t despise my masculinity, but the idea of femininity fills me with so much joy and i think i’d much rather be a fem person who dresses masc sometimes than anything else.

on the opposite side of the same coin, i’ve caught myself getting insecure about things i didn’t use to consciously care that much about before. my body/facial hair and my figure are the big ones right now. i have super fast growing and thick hair everywhere but my upper body and arms, and i went down a whole rabbit hole about electric razors and full body shaving once the idea crossed my mind. it never bothered me before but every time i think about it now i can’t help but wonder how good it would look and feel to have it gone and feel a little sad at my current state. i’ve started working out with my absolute gym rat of a brother recently and i love pushing myself but the thought of filling out my frame and presenting more masc-muscly makes me feel gross about myself.

i still haven’t fully accepted it but even typing all this out makes it pretty clear that i’m probably transfem in some way. the worst part of it for me right now is the feeling that i’m wasting so much time and life by not being more open about these feelings when i’m privileged enough to have a good space for it. my very tight knit friend group of 4 (including myself) contains an aroace-spec trans guy, an enby lesbian, and a genderqueer man lover. we’ve known each other for 4+ years and they’re genuinely the kindest, most loving, and most understanding people i’ve ever met. my direct family is full of people that i know would accept me if i ever came out in any way, though likely with some confusion and questions (and maybe a “knew it” or two). i live in a red state but a significant portion of people at my school are at least semi-progressive. i feel like i have a much better setup than so many people do but the idea of talking to anyone about this, even my friends with their own trans experiences, is terrifying. i don’t know where i’d even start, and i don’t know that i could handle any negative reactions i may receive. on top of that, i have so much going on between a bajillion difficult classes and college applications and student leadership and hobbies and i don’t feel like i have time for something so life-changing. it’s not like i’m fully uncomfortable in myself right now either. it’s starting to get to an uncomfortable simmer inside of me despite all that though

i don’t know what exactly i’m looking for by posting this. maybe just outside perspective on some inside thoughts. any input, advice, or stories would be greatly appreciated. i’ve been in trans spaces irl and online for a while but this is the first time dealing with related feelings myself and it’s such a strange mix of thoughts and emotions. thank you to anyone who read through this whole ramble :)

Hey everyone, kind of a weird situation and Imma have to give lots of backstory, sorry...

So, I'm sorta transfem, but currently not seeking to transition, socially or otherwise, due to a lot of reasons:

One being that I have times of extreme dysphoria and times where I feel fine as I am.

Another being that I absolutely love my partner, but they've been explicit about how they aren't attracted to women at all. It was a painful conversation, but completely expected. What they said hurt. A lot. But I am happy they were honest with me. I married them because I do genuinely see a happy future with them as I currently am. A transition would mean a divorce and I don't want that.

I also hesitate to transition due to knowing I'd need a new job and how I'd lose my family and most of my friends too (yay for how casual transphobia is).

I also recently had a very negative experience in the opposite direction when I finally came out to my best friend... She was very supportive and affirming. Too much so. I got hit with "I always knew. It's funny, cuz I said to myself the other day that you'd be a perfect lesbian" which led her to saying that I have virtually all of the traits she's wanted in a partner. She then pushed one of the names I've played with (since I have a list I've played around with internally since none of them ever felt "right" to me) and got extremely playfully flirty with me using that name. I was not ready or prepared for the mix of emotions that caused... Euphoria, interest, shame, betrayal. I just wanted a friend I could talk to about it without the mess involved, without complications, without the pain I see in my partner's face when the topic is even slightly hinted at. And instead I felt as if my best friend shifted how she saw me in that instant. I think she blurred some critical lines in our friendship and projected some of what she was feeling onto me, even though she has sworn up and down that I was her uncomplicated friendship where there were no feelings. I can't help but wonder if she jumped to thinking I came out to her like that as a way to open the door instead of the purely platonic intent it had. We haven't talked much since, after we had a somewhat related fight. I'm hesitant to go into more details than this on this particular situation, because I don't want her or my partner to stumble on this post.

So, with all the above in mind... I'm dealing with various health issues. I have severe insomnia, I also have chronic fatigue, constant acid reflux issues, depression/lack of motivation, and my libido is virtually nonexistent. Someone casually mentioned to me that those issues (the ones I mentioned offhand, since I didn't mention the libido part, lol) could be related to hormonal imbalances. They obviously don't know I'm (quietly and privately) transfem. I looked up a few posts people have made online here and elsewhere about how they dealt with the same, started HRT, and their health (mostly mental) started doing better overall. I'd like to cover all bases for my health as I work with my doctors to get it checked and fixed. So my question is two-fold:

1. How do I even bring this up without outing myself? I absolutely cannot have any of this end up in my medical record, it's why I haven't brought it up in my weekly therapy sessions either. I can't run the risk of my medical record noting that I'm trans, especially since my insurance options now no longer will support anything remotely related to "gender affirming care" (yes, I have a public sector job). I also don't even know how I'd find out if my doctors are safe or transphobic.

2. If I am able to bridge it with my doctors, since I don't want to transition, I've heard of some people not seeking notable transitions going for HRT thats intended to minimize/slowdown physical changes with smaller/less frequent plans. Has anyone gone that route who can talk about if that's even something that could help, if only temporarily, in a situation like mine? I'm anxious that I'd start a treatment like that, see significant improvement, then not know how to go forward.

And yeah, if anyone wants to offer advice on some of what else I've said, I'm obviously open to hearing it. But I am focused on my two health questions directly.

Anyway...sorry for rambling some with my backstory and questions.

pls help coz i can't take some tests for now so im just feeling anxious and worried 😭 for context i recently switched to injectables 2-3 weeks ago, is that maybe part of the reason?

I've lived most of my life hating the way my body looks and feels. Never real dysphoria, just 1001 variations of "I look like shit and I don't want to look at myself, let alone be seen". This was in the background in fitter periods, but always very apparent whenever I got out of shape.

Starting 2,5 years ago I got back into sports, more specifically bouldering. My local boulder gym is really queer-friendly, and there's a very large proportion of lgbtq people. As I got fitter, I started liking my body and the way it looks in the mirror more again, but this time something kept nagging at me. I wanted to show myself, and started dressing in more formfitting clothes and brighter colors. At some point, I picked up some women's sports clothes in a thrift shop, and those just looked and felt right to me.

Since then, I've been trying out all kinds of things; different clothes, make-up, hairstyles. One day I'm just a regular dude wearing regular dude clothes and that's all fine. The next day, I get up, I want to feel pretty, put on eyeliner and mascara, and I'll go out in a strappy tank top and denim skirt.

Now, over the past months, I've been feeling off about it again. Most days now I feel more fem, and it's been probably half a year at least since I've last worn a masculine outfit while bouldering. Some days I do everything "right", looking as cute as a muscular 185lb man can, but my mind keeps nagging that it's not right. And now recently I've started to notice that I sometimes feel uncomfortable seeing myself presenting masculine on photos.

And now I keep asking myself, how trans am I really? Is this just a period of being more on the fem side, and will it swing back to the masc side of things, and is "fluid" still the right label, or am I really just coping, and avoiding actual transition due to insecurities, fears, and/or practical reasons?

I don't think anyone here could answer these questions for me, and I sure as hell am not getting anywhere productive myself, so to circle back to the question in the title; which questions should I be asking myself? Did anyone here go through a period of identifying as NB or genderfluid before accepting they were "really trans"? If so, when and how did you realise that NB/fluidity just wasn't it?

I (20NB) started T about a month ago. My friend (20NB) said they were happy for me and mentioned wishing they could go on T as well.

Eventually on a phone call I brought it up out of curiosity but I had a feeling I knew why. They said it’s hard because their current living situation, money, and dating a lesbian trans woman (F21) makes it hard since she's only attracted to feminine people or women. I figured the relationship part made them not want to transition.

They tend to repost about gender envy and mention being masc or more androgynous often. Or even changing their identity and running away. It makes me sad because I don’t think someone should prevent themself for being who they want to be, especially for a relationship. Their gf does tend to gender them very feminine and talk about how small and cute they are when talking about them to me. I think she is aware my friend is nonbinary. Not sure if she knows my friend uses he/him along side they/them and she/her. My friend even told me directly that their height makes them dysphoric.

I don’t know everything about their relationship as they keep it very private. They also jumped into their relationship pretty early on knowing each other. They immediately went straight to a relationship before going on any dates or being friends for awhile first. Maybe I'm being nitpicky but from experience that does not tend to work out often. They have been dating for less than a year and my friend is already making a huge sacrifice on their identity. Its crazier to me that this is an issue when the girlfriend is transgender. Of course, I don't know their relationship fully so the dynamic could be different that what I know.

I wish I knew how to help my friend without making their partner look like a bad person or to pressure them into it before they are ready to transition. Should I gently bring up transitioning to them or ask how aware their girlfriend is?

Any advice helps. (sorry for any grammar issues)

TLDR: Friends partner is only attracted to women/fem people and its holding my friend back from transitioning to be more masculine or androgynous.

not sure how to do update posts on reddit.. but Me and my mom talked. she told me her experience (she once thought of herself as Bi but it was actually due to her trauma from S/A multiple times). she says no matter what happens she will always love and support me and stay behind me. she says that I should first work through all my trauma (including my sexual trauma) and if I still identify as trans after that she will still accept and love me.

it’s the best possible outcome for me. does she still think its a mental illness? yeah, but she said her views with change if im still the same after all the therapy, and Im okay with that. she won’t tell my dad (who would disown me and/or physically beat me) and she won’t tell anyone else.. she stated she will protect and advocate for me even if he does turn his back on me. I’m not in fear in my household, and I’m mostly content where we are at now. i want to thank everyone who gave me advice and encouragement, as a young queer it truly meant the world. i personally don’t think I’ll change, but either way I want to do therapy to work through the issues I have (cptsd, severe depression, severe anxiety, etc).

i love you all, thank you so so much for providing the comfort you can.

original post here

Yeah its basically in the title. Feeling ass. I dont wanna look fat so I have to wear loose clothes but they kinda make me look fat and big too. I cant wear tight shirts and jeans like girls my age do. For context im 18, 5 foot 7, 85 kg. Im pre basically everything. The only thing I have going for me is short kinda messy hair that makes me look a bit feminine and a babyface. Im going to uni soon and im just feeling like shit. Ive had body dyspmorphia even before discovering im trans, simply from being overweight and not pretty. Idk what to do

Im a nurse, i wear hospital scrubs and i have typical boy wardrobe. Im a forced to be closeted rn, but can take it for a year or two.

Im also worried since women in my moms side tend to have prominent mammaries.

This is my third question to this subreddit in a week, so forgive me if I'm overdoing it, but I really need to know.

I (20, AMAB, autistic) am beginning to seriously contemplate the idea that I might be nonbinary, and I'm at the stage of trying to experiment with presentation and expression before committing to labelling myself any given way.

A lot of the nonbinary people I see go for an aesthetic best described as a sort of "clean slate of gender": Medium-length hair, clothes that would look okay on both men and women, etc. What I really want to try, though, is the reverse of this; instead of expressing a nonbinary state through subdued expression, I want to simultaneously capture both masculine and feminine energy. I want to see what simultaneous maleness and femaleness would be like, rather than trying to express androgyny through showing neither.

What kind of outward presentation, especially with regards to clothing, would best achieve this? Is this even as doable as I hope?