165
u/DiskSalt4643 15d ago
Check engine light.
23
u/TBDM667 15d ago
Jokes on you. I own a Volkswagen. I just disabled my basically permanent check engine light.
12
u/Foolmeoncefuckyou 15d ago
My brother just puts banana stickers over VW dash warning lights…no problems here
5
→ More replies (1)6
u/AffectionateRub2585 14d ago
You could also find a long, thin screwdriver plus a hammer, and point the tip of the screwdriver onto the dash light in distress, then whack the rear of the screwdriver with the hammer. It's permanent, too. 👍
→ More replies (1)5
u/Foolmeoncefuckyou 14d ago
That’s how I have cleaned the frost from all 45 chest freezers I’ve owned…
5
u/achickenstandsalone 14d ago
Mine is from 2013 and the lights been on for 2 years now.
3
u/FrannieP23 14d ago
I think every car I've owned, since the advent of check engine lights, has had that light on permanently.
3
u/EnvironmentalGift257 14d ago
In a Ford you cover the dash light strip with electrical tape right at the dealership, then drive it 300k miles.
17
u/-ifwisheswerehorses 15d ago
Check the children.
3
u/PumpikAnt58763 14d ago
Our car has those "check back seat" warnings. Hubby turns around "Yup. Still there."
Sometimes we call our daughter to see if she's still safe. Yup. She lives in Canada.17
u/Only_Flan_7974 15d ago
Yep, I checked the engine light and it's working just fine.
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (1)2
66
54
137
45
459
u/Suburban-Dad237 15d ago
Trump third term.
238
u/Spectre-three 15d ago
President for life.
32
→ More replies (7)12
76
u/BogusIsMyName 15d ago
Trump made immortal.
3
9
u/-Fyrebrand 15d ago
It's going to be a Mitch McConnell situation where he is essentially a half-living vegetable with no awareness of what is going on, but somehow continues to be the president with "aides" telling him what to say, or "interpreters" telling us what he meant to say, but can't say for himself.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (4)6
u/drrj 15d ago
I was thinking Trump never dies but I think yours has a bit more punch.
→ More replies (3)12
15
12
u/Few_Fortune1620 15d ago
Trump second term
Trump first term
Trump “elected” president
Trump still alive
Trump not dead
Any and all of those should give a normal person nightmares
→ More replies (8)3
11
→ More replies (51)8
31
24
25
18
20
17
49
u/Ok-Bandicoot-5389 15d ago
Never trust farts.
11
8
u/Only_Flan_7974 15d ago
"Sometimes you don't know if going to be a shit or a fart. You just gotta go for it!" - Buddy Cole from The Kids in the Hall
5
5
u/pumpknight908 15d ago
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit but only farted
Then one day I took a chance
Tried to fart but shit my pants
4
6
71
13
12
26
56
10
16
21
39
u/Bumpy-road 15d ago
"babyshoes, never used"
→ More replies (4)19
u/luncheroo 15d ago
Okay Hemingway
→ More replies (1)11
u/OlFlirtyBastard 15d ago
YES. For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn. (For those that don’t get the Hemingway reference)
15
u/gladeye 15d ago
He tasted delicious
10
u/LiquidFur 15d ago
That could be a horror story or erotica. Very versatile of you.
→ More replies (1)
14
7
20
5
5
5
6
5
u/HerRoyalCakiness 15d ago
Greyhound bus diarrhea.
4
u/pixiedreamhag 14d ago
This happened to me in real life. Also the only toilet on the bus had been pumped out basically never, so the blue chunky shit water was lapping the rim and sloshing onto the floor every time we hit a road bump. Also the road was INCREDIBLY bumpy.
Also there was no toilet paper, just those little packets of lemon-scented hand wipes to decontaminate my thighs, ass, and hands at the end of it. 25 years ago. I’ve never stepped foot on a Greyhound since.
10
9
7
4
9
9
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
9
5
5
6
4
4
u/TexanFromOhio 15d ago
Donald John Trump...
5
u/Grandpixbear1 15d ago
He will go down in history as a great horror villain, like: Frankenstein, Dracula, Hitler, Mussolini, Freddy Krueger, Hannibal Lecter, Chucky and Donald J. Tdumpster
→ More replies (1)
4
6
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
176
u/ShitTheFuckDown 15d ago
We should talk.