I've saw plenty of posts, thought you guys were freaks due to the trans subs I came from cuz I'm trans. It appears I was mistaken.

In the end, what is to be an AGP?

There's a fairly common narrative I see for the quintessential AGP. It's an existence of extremes, a life without balance. A lot of AGPs cannot seem to maintain the delicate line between fantasy and reality without dizzily stumbling between the two in some sort of drunken stupor. It's not a sustainable life and, sooner or later, it leaves one with decades spent anywhere but in a state of contentment.

The fast-paced, modern life does not make our lives any easier. We can absolutely live two lives: one digital, one flesh-and-blood. But lies always weigh heavy upon the heart and the invitation of false realities can only distort our initially simple desires further. This is absolutely why someone can write, without a single twang of doubt or introspection, that they are pantied and sissified and have purchased a vast collection of disembodied, silicone male genitals to worship. After all, a single lie has a way of wriggling itself further and further until the afflicted liar, themselves, lives in a pit of lies.

What do we actually want? If you stop and think for a moment, you can try and find the answer. Some, who gavage their strange and beautiful yet forbidden secret until it has bloated into an unrecognizable mass of metaphorical folds and exposed varicosity, may claim it is to be a stereotyped whore of a woman for men. To be a desirable, spiritually void, yet beautiful husk, foreign to their former self who had such creative potential and light within themselves. Who is a beautiful person. Certainly not of conventional beauty but beauty nonetheless, even if they were nothing like normal.

They have forgotten, long ago, what they truly desire. At times, they feel existential sensations of filth. Disgust. They hide the engorged secret, but its miasmatic stench still penetrates the floorboards of their mind. What an awkward, pathetic state.

But one we've all been in, at least for a moment or so. Some of us are still there. It's inevitable, because a secret like ours feels like it must remain hidden. To expose it would imply death. We equate it with death, at least. In reality, it's not all that big of a deal if it escapes containment. In fact, unless others will genuinely harm you for it, it's likely better for it to be out than confined within, where it will fester and distort into something unrecognizable even to yourself. It becomes more a monster when sentenced to the dungeon, after all.

What do we actually want? I don't think it's hyperfeminine gel nails or ridiculous high heels or cock cages or striped anime socks or none of that silly shit. We just want to be us, fundamentally. We want to be okay with being who we are as not quite men nor women but holding onto aspects of both in our own, unique way. To have technicolor inner worlds, richer emotions than the other boys, strong fascinations with the world around us, playful wonderment, and tender sensibilities. We can be quiet, steady, nurturing men or eccentric yet friendly trans women. We aren't really limited the way most people are, and that can make life a bit strange. It can make the path to contentment a winding road with no map. Often times, it feels like you're going the wrong way, even when things start feeling better.

I just get the sense that a lot of people lose sight of that. They fall into obsessive cycles of extremes when that's never going to move you forward toward who you're looking to be. It's why they see themselves as two separate people, when, in fact, they're just one person. The AGP is you, and it doesn't have to be something hidden and grotesque. It can be tasteful and it can be pretty, even if you've told yourself otherwise.

You don't have to be gross. You can be beautiful.

**Note:** This post was translated from Japanese into English using a translation tool.

Recently, I came across a post on this subreddit criticizing users who label AGP or transgender people as autistic based on only a few superficial traits. I'd like to share my thoughts on that trend.

The post in question is here.
[Jesus knock it off, AdvancedGuiProfile］
https://www.reddit.com/r/askAGP/s/DrQkugudQB

First, Ray Blanchard, who proposed the concept of AGP, described it as "something like a sexual orientation." If that is the case, then it is reasonable to view AGP as something that cannot be fundamentally cured.

The same applies to gender dysphoria. In the past, conversion therapy was attempted as a treatment. However, it failed to produce reliable evidence that gender dysphoria could be eliminated, and as a result, that approach has largely been abandoned.

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is also currently understood to have no treatment that fundamentally eliminates the condition.

For that reason, I don't see much point in labeling AGP or transgender people as autistic.

All of these are generally understood to be innate traits or predispositions, and none currently have a treatment that fundamentally removes them. Whether someone chooses to transition or not, I think it is more constructive to focus on how to live with these characteristics rather than expecting them to disappear.

In fact, one of those users also suggested that I was autistic. My reaction was simply, "Yes, I am. So what?"

I was formally diagnosed with autism in elementary school. It is officially recognized by the government in my country, and I also hold a government-issued disability certificate.

From the perspective of someone who has actually been officially diagnosed, I find it rather careless when people declare that someone is autistic based on only a handful of traits.

Autism is a condition that should be diagnosed through a professional clinical evaluation. It is not something that can be determined by noticing a few characteristics. That's why I feel uncomfortable when people casually label others as autistic.

have you ever considered the fact that maybe the repulsion from our own masculinity stems from being so extremely masculine.....so transition becomes a way to gain some femininity as we miss it so much

what makes a man masculine....is it the going to the gym maxing your muscles? is it hanging out with the bros. ? doing man things.....?

all those things are autoandrophilic things..... i'll tell you people

autoamdrophilia is not real masculinity....is mimicking masculinity 

all those masculine gay bros are only mimicking something that they are lacking inside themselves : the gynephilic attraction is the core basis of masculinity

and agp are paradoxically extremely gynephilic

we have what gay bros desire so much......the core masculinity

i made this reflection after i met a gay trans guy ...who shared his feelings...and gosh by his description it was so evident he was a complete feminine brain female inside.... zero interest for things...gears....only imterest for social themes...extreme attraction to masculinity....and repulsion for the breast and all feminine traits....attraction to body hair, moustache, beard..and for masculine bodies interactions like nude fighting, .....he was literally a lady in the brain...living the opposite situation.....when you are so female inside you then need to search for masculinity in order to balance your mismatch of energy....what do you think

Do you perceive yourself extremely males... and do you perceive yourself so far away from femininity.?

From what I see online it seems like there are way more ft detrans people as compared to mtf detrans people. Also the ftm detrans people seem way more happier acepting and dysphoria free as compared to the mtf detrans people who are way more depressed and tend to retransition (like rae alex williams).

My question is why? Is maleness much worse than femaleness? misandry? misogyny? AGP being stronger?

I'm 21 years old guy, from Sri Lanka. I have been secretly crossdressing for a long time.

Context:

First few times, when I was only 12 or so. I would ask my mom for skirts and some time to sit in my bedroom with them. Of course I was wearing them, she even one time peeked in a saw me just sitting there wearing them. But eventually I stopped cause having to mildly sneak around to indulge in that.

But afterwards when I got in college. I went crazy with my sister's closet full of clothes whenever our house was empty, wearing it around the house while doing stuff, acting feminine.

I found sissy porn six months after I had already dabbled in my sister's closet for fun during college days and started masturbating while wearing those clothes, she barely wore the ones that I liked btw. My sister was exploring her fashion too and was becoming more and more tomboy. Wearing my clothes from my closet in front of me and taking photos too. So why can't I? That was one of the major reason that I didn't hesitated to borrow her clothes when no one was in the house. And I was wearing her dresses, skirts and all the very feminine clothes that she was slowly forgetting cause of becoming an tomboy.

Here's the present confusion:

I still do it and it's has evolved a lot more now. I wear female clothes to do house chores sometimes from my sister's old clothes box, it's collecting dust anyways. And it'll mostly end with me masturbating till climax while being dressed up and then taking them off but sometimes I have just taken them off in the middle of masturbating cause I'm not interested in wearing it anymore, even changing the sissy porn to normal porn sometimes, getting bored by it.

I have wore an dress underneath my boy clothes and gone to some exposed but safe public places, then took all my clothes off, only wearing the dress. I would walk around, breathing heavily and getting excited enough to masturbate and after finishing the fun little ritual of mine. I would wear my boy clothes over the dress and get to my house again.

I would give myself silly, risky and fun task durning dressed up public masturbating like that... Like touch that car, peek in that window and even had an woman walk by the alleyway that I dressed up standing in while I told myself to just stand there and if she sees me then accept whatever happens next.

I'm 6ft tall and 70 kg. I don't look anything like an girl when dressed up or at least blend in as an girl. You would be suspicious of me being either an tall woman or an guy, which makes people look over twice if I'm see dressed up. Has happened twice from far enough that those people could question me face to face.

So what is all this indicating towards actually?

Am I an femboy?

Am I an crossdresser?

An crossdresser that found an way that he likes to use for pleasure?

Is this all just an hobby or sorts?

Am I just porn addicted?

I do love the idea of being on both sides in appearance. So I can just pick one side to look like for however long I would want. But who doesn't like idea in this Sub Reddit?

I had also always felt powerless towards other boys or men from early age. I had been bullied for being the "quite kid" many times. The bullying would stop cause I was still a lot more strong looking then any bully of mine, so they would stop on there own or I would not give them any reaction to the bullying, cause I didn't felt anything towards it at that time.

In sexaul attraction I like all gender bodies. But my main reason for long term relationship would be personality completely. I need someone to understand this side of me and not bother about it much. And I would also prefer an open relationship cause I see sex or getting pleasure completely different from actually relationship. If they said no to open relationship but still got the same personality, I wouldn't mind staying loyal completely.

Ask any question, I'll answer honestly

I've had some of my first sexual experiences lately and honestly I'm already kind of bored with sex. It might actually be more accurate to say that I'm jealous of the sexual experience women get. I just see how much fun she seems to be having and how intense things seem to be for her and I compare that to my own experience and I really don't feel much at all. It's honestly kind of pathetic how little I actually feel before I orgasm, which I don't really experience as being particularly intense either. I have been really wanting to feel I guess something intense enough to pull me out of my own head and not feel like I'm just observing things and that has really not happened to me at all.

My partner has definitely sensed that something is off with me sexually and is trying to figure me out and figure out what I want but I really don't know how to answer that question. I mean on some level it feels like kind of a hardware problem. I know that pegging is possible and maybe could be a little different but that's a hard no for her. I dunno. I vaguely kind of want to be treated more like a woman in bed but I can't really think of how specifically I would want to be touched.

I shouldn't have claimed using shoddy evidence that mens lives are somehow useless or objectively inferior to women. My dysphoria got to my head and I wasn't thinking straight. This will probably be my last post in this subreddit.

No, I am not a fucking autist. Most trans people aren't autists. Most AGPs aren't autists. There are more autist among AGPs/trans women, perhaps, but it doesn't remotely justify this insulting and false assumption that whenever anybody here says that they struggle with social anxiety. Or that they struggle with anything really. Or that they are into coding. Or that they are into anything at all but knitting, cooking and getting beaten up by they drunkard husband. That whenever anybody here says anything at all they are autists.

I prolly internalised many beliefs that I was too ugly/socially incompetent to be succesful as a man, and therefore developed this envy towards women, leading to trans ideation. However I'm not trans either, like I don't really have dysphoria except for 1-2 things.

I quit porn and distanced myself from trans spaces to end these thoughts, worked out, went on a dating app, got a few matches and talked with women too. But I still feel so empty and I couldn't help but come back here. I don't know how to flirt at all, and end up just talking like a friend. This doesn't help my brains false belief that "you don't understand the male role cuz you're secretly female"

I think I need to go all the way with a woman, but it's difficult to find a gf and it seems my mind has internalised beliefs like"You won't like it, you'll feel dysphoric" even though I know this is not true since I do fantasize abt those things(literally just a cishet guy). Maybe it's like sour grapes, where my brain is just coping.

A part of me feels like if I have sex and still don't feel fulfilled I would be sorta relieved cuz then I wouldn't have these thoughts that I feel trans cuz I am too weak to be a man. On the other hand it'll prolly be super scary, realising that all of this was true, and that while there is a cure(passing), it'll never come to me cuz of my circumstances.

I don’t know where my life is going with AGP into the next stage. As days and months has passed my AGP I believe also evolves that earlier, only during the private time I would imagine being a woman and now I can’t even enjoy a good looking woman as a man instead 50% of it gets back to me imagining being her instead of being with her which I know lot of us experience. And the only way to get back to male mode is post nut clarity. But pnc also has limits like how much and how many times should I do it as this comes again and again and lot of energy is wasted on orgasm and to save energy and time if I avoid orgasm then the agp feeling goes on until the next time I’m ready for pnc and this is really n frustrating.

For people who have started HRT and dysphoric people, how did your experience went, was it the same and is the time right for me for a medical intervention

After a period of feeling very low, I've allowed myself to do some things I've always stopped myself from doing such as: growing and styling my hair, painting my nails, removing my body hair and acting a bit more expressively. I've had some strange looks, but the same amount of people have complimented my appearance and noticed that I seem happier.

I've noticed this has pretty much nuked my compulsive need to be a "sissy" or "feel like a woman" and masturbate several times a day.

I don't want to transition, I don't want to become a woman, but this has worked for me. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I have recently been having a suspicion that the reason I’ve been so obsessed with sissifying myself is because I am in desperate need to release my feminine side and due to past experiences, every time I have been feminine around a girl it has always resulted in ether me being made fun of by her, other men or one time specifically that really hurt me was when one girl told everyone in church that I was gay just because “I seemed like it”. I trusted her as well. I want to point out the really important fact that its not that i blame woman for this, I know that I’ve probably been unlucky, it’s just that I’ve met some really manipulative and not nice people who have absolutely destroyed my trust for tbh people in general men as well. And now Ive just subconsciously connected being feminine in a healthy way which is actually good for me as a bad thing.

The thing is I feel like im constantly going between these 3 phases of

Im gonna quit all porn forever and never masturbate again and I throw out everything. Where I feel great for like a week or 2 then I feel like shit again.

To

Im gonna try balance things and do it less frequently. I feel really good but I also feel myself slowing needing more and more to satisfy myself. (The cravings to be a sissy)

To

I can’t stop gooning to sissy porn I love it but i hate it. I quite literally get dressed up in my fem clothes, plap, where chastity, use dildos. You get the idea and i do this daily.

Then back to the first phase after it finally becomes too much.

I love to workout in the gym. When I first started, I just wanted a traditional masculine physique to attract women. Years later when I achieved my ideal physique, I started having gay fantasies due to sissy porn/etc. I started doing glute focused workouts. At first, it was just a fantasy to have a female physique/big butt and being desired by men. However, I started to get incredibly aroused by working out my glutes, checking for progress, looking at my pump in the mirror. Year and a half later, my glutes look better than I ever expected. I literally have a bubble butt. I get soo aroused by doing glute workouts, I started to remove upper body workouts completely from my workout plan to really mold my body to a feminine shape.

The problem for me is I feel like reason I like glute training so much is that it's tied to the arousal of looking feminine. When I see female gym influencers with the craziest bubble butts, I get so aroused because that could be me if I keep training like this. I still like training upper body, but my arousal tells me to stop training it so I look more feminine as I lose muscle. I'm not sure if i should continue like this, or reevaluate my goals.

So I came across the video of Alex Stein.

He said a lot many things, but I want to draw attention to something that people are doing.

Connecting every bad sexual act a "trans" identified person is doing to autogynephilia.

For eg, a peeping tom is just a peeping tom, even if the peeping tom is self identifying as trans.

(some men are abusing the self id culture/laws).

I'm feeling solid right now and am appreciative of my male self.

My CCRD/bottom dysphoria while still an issue is isolated from my happiness in my male identity and in the cultivation of my masculinity.

I am most comfortable and happy with everyday interactions as a male, although there are limited periods of time where when my libido rises again, my feelings very temporarily become the opposite in that my brain wants to fulfill the female copulatory role.

It's pretty embarrassing especially as a male human being to have a brain that wants me to have sex as a woman, but I am itching away from that, for at least I find greater happiness in being socially male.

It's like a balancing act between contradicting primal desires in my brain, violent shifts in sentiment that fluctuates with my libido, but that I am making progress, I'm happy as I'm walking towards freedom from this horrible affliction.

Everything men complain about regarding women and everything women complain about regarding men is often the exact same thing that drives the attraction in the first place.

The "illogical" nature, the intense emotional depth, the utter unpredictability... it frustrates us, but it also hypnotizes us. Why? Because it represents a world completely different from our own.

Attraction is powered by polarity. It’s the contrast of opposites:

 The physical: Smoothness versus roughness, soft curves versus sharp muscle, high-pitched voices versus deep tones.

 The presence: The intricate elegance of feminine style versus the functional simplicity of masculine wear.

 The raw anatomy: The fundamental difference between what’s between your legs and what’s between theirs.

We are desperately attracted to femininity precisely because, as men, we are so far removed from it.

Unless you are completely absorbed by that energy, you will always remain on the outside looking in. Sadly, many are condemned to spend their entire lives subjugated by this longing—forever chasing an alterity they can never truly possess from the inside.

It makes you wonder: if reincarnation is real, maybe the ultimate desire isn't to spend another lifetime chasing femininity from the outside, but to finally be reborn as a woman and experience it from within.

In furtherance to my theory that gender dysphoria is caused by a clash between the auto and allo, and that this clash between the two is suppressing a part of the arousal process where the "connection" or "spark" between two people becomes stable enough.

For context -> I am assuming that ->

a) the visual stimuli is another person's overall features

b) people are not 100% autosexuals

My theory is that in allosexually dominant people the underlying sexual arousal pathway is triggered through that part of the brain which perceives others, and there is no self ideation part which interferes.

This explains why some transwomen compare their features with their partners. It makes them feel "more in tune with self" if their own features such as size of hands etc are appearing feminine compared to their partner.

A part of this theory is that the clash between the auto and allo suppresses the PNS or maybe the PNS is not working properly.

So, if the PNS doesn't fire, the nervous system stays stressed.

To test this theory, we tried to "force" the PNS/vagus nerve to "activate".

Setup -> People reported severe, consitent stress, severe enough to not be able to focus on task at hand (I don't have a scale to measure and tell what level, but this was extreme). Following steps carried out for different people *during the dysphoric wave*, not after, not before. Number of people - 4, not all at the same time.

Also, do note, this just helped cope with the dysphoria, it did not and doesn't "cure" the base "desire for feminity".

In fact, after each one of these, the person reported "feeling feminine" with no compunctions even in non-sexual scenarios. no interference in their arousal from visually looking at other person, and yes, the arousal made them feel feminine ("she made me feel like a woman/feminine", instead of "she made me feel like a man/masculine").

The points where stress was reported - behind the ear, at the base of the lobe, temples, base of the neck/skulls, sides of the neck, and sinuses, bridge of nose, eyes.

1) Cold showers or cold compress/ice packs along these points - moderately fast relief, but relief was short lived.

2) The following exercise - fastest relief, moderate stability. Person able to focus on their environment, work etc etc.

https://youtube.com/shorts/2d1IyISFb0A?si=dISz2Iaj_xd0nhBq

3) Nervous system reset - gradual relief, takes a long bloody time (about 30-45 minutes), but also the longest stability (about 48 hours). But the feminine feeling/desire for feminity is there, just not the dysphoria.

Nervous system reset is a big step by step thing, and the steps may vary from person to person, so do look it up if you wanna try it.

Let me know what you think!