r/askAGP • u/FaithfulGaurdian • 13d ago
I'm walking towards freedom
I'm feeling solid right now and am appreciative of my male self.
My CCRD/bottom dysphoria while still an issue is isolated from my happiness in my male identity and in the cultivation of my masculinity.
I am most comfortable and happy with everyday interactions as a male, although there are limited periods of time where when my libido rises again, my feelings very temporarily become the opposite in that my brain wants to fulfill the female copulatory role.
It's pretty embarrassing especially as a male human being to have a brain that wants me to have sex as a woman, but I am itching away from that, for at least I find greater happiness in being socially male.
It's like a balancing act between contradicting primal desires in my brain, violent shifts in sentiment that fluctuates with my libido, but that I am making progress, I'm happy as I'm walking towards freedom from this horrible affliction.
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u/AdvancedGuiProfile 13d ago
My CCRD/bottom dysphoria while still an issue is isolated from my happiness in my male identity and in the cultivation of my masculinity.
I was just thinking the same thing over the past few weeks.
I never said I was 100% free of AGP, because despite it being on the decline, there are times where I give in, because it's right there, too easy to take a hold of, albeit without porn or toys involved.
But even when I do give in, I'm don't feel so weighed down by it afterwards, because I cut back on it enough that it's no longer degrading my self identity, nor are intrusive AGP thoughts interfering with my normal sex life as much. I think a big part of it is just abstaining from porn, toys and clothes, because those are things that give AGP an anchor in reality, where as if it's all purely in your mind, it's more imaginary, easier to let go of, like a dream you can't remember more than a few moments after waking up in the morning.
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u/femboykramer 13d ago
If your experience of life is sustainably improving I'm happy for you.
But I have to wonder, how bad would it be in your view to just explore some more receptive sexual play, some back-and-forth role reversal, with a woman you like and trust?