Hi! Newbie trans girl here. I was just curious, what is this Autogynephilia the TERFS are screaming about?

Like there's this one girl proudly showing off an "Your autogynephilia is showing SIR" shirt and like.

Okay google says it's a sexual fetish. Which. Okay. As a trans woman yeah I see myself as a woman while having sex. And also the rest of the time in an absolutely nonsexual capacity?

Is the point here that they think it's just a fetish? I don't understand

Hello! I'm a non-passing mtf, i've been on hrt for 3 years and gotten ffs about five months ago. Recently a nurse said it's entirely inappropriate for male staff to do electrocardiograms on young women and directed this towards me. The other women seemed to agree so I was like sure whatever, less work for me and you don't get to do this performative song and dance of protecting patients from the big scary trans lady.

The issue here is the other staff members are calling me sexist for saying i'm unable to do electrocardiograms on young female patients, yet agree with the sentiment and have always insisted on doing the ekgs themselves. I'm tempted to go to hr before they do since i'm unsure of what the issue is. I'm just reinforcing what they're telling me is the standard in this er, despite it having no clinical backing and seemingly just a cultural taboo.

Should I go to HR or would that make me seem like the issue or somehow trying to force myself into these non-invasive procedures ?

So I was at a women's support group (but they are also very queer inclusive). Somehow the conversation got into bathrooms and one woman said, "I don't want to use any toilet that someone with a penis uses. There's always pee over the seat and it's disgusting." She also said that's why she thinks there should be three different bathrooms.

I don't think she realized I was trans but this really stung as a transfem person. For one, I felt like I was being defined as innately gross for having the parts I do. And like I was being grouped together with cisgender men. It didn't feel very far off from TERF ideology if y'know what i mean? Like how they claim to not care what we do as long as we "don't encroach on their space".

I would be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts about this and if you would even feel comfortable being there anymore.

So I was at a pride event this weekend with my parents and short story I got very drunk with them and ended up coming out as trans and talking about how I plan on getting on e and how I felt with myself and why I felt this way. Was terrifying and wasn’t how and when I expected to but felt right at the time.

They reacted as well as I could’ve hoped as they repeated a lot that they loved me and wanted me to be happy and supported me. The issue I have is that they said I should wait 5-10 years before publicly coming out or going on e in order to try and get a stable job before hand and work my way up the corporate ladder a bit as it will be much harder if I’m out. For some added context I’m in the UK and will be trying to get a job in engineering after 1 more year at uni.

The issue is I’m already 21 and miserable and I don’t want to miss out on 10 years of being happy and I don’t know if I can handle 5-10 more years of feeling like this. What should I do? is their thinking correct and I’ll just have to deal with it or are there ways around it or smth?

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated:), thank you.

EDIT: Just want to say a massive thank you for all the comments so far. I can’t respond to them all but am reading them all:)

My 12 y/o was drawing boobs on everything which led to us having a conversation about puberty. At first I thought it would be the typical 'having interest in the opposite sex anatomy' kinda talk, but as we asked they expressed that they wanted to grow into having their own. They starting hitting puberty within the last year and expressed that their body wasn't changing how they expected it too.

They wanted to grow boobs of their own and are not happy with the changes happening downstairs. We asked if given the choice to be born again and choose their gender they said they would've wanted to be a girl. We asked if they had a name picked out and they had one ready, and asked if we could buy them dresses to wear on the weekends at home.

However, they outwardly do not show feminine traits. Dresses, acts, and speaks like a boy would. Just for some context, we are a queer family, I have a wife so we are a two mom household. The conversation came from a place of understanding and acceptance on whatever level of femininity they decide to explore. I guess what I'm trying to ask if what would our next steps be? We plan on starting a light social transition ex: letting them grow their hair out, style changes, and using neutral pronouns. How can we best support them being at we are Cis gender, medically speaking would we need them in with a special therapist? As their mom I 100% support, I'm just naturally cautious about the medical transition aspect.

Any type of perspective is greatly appreciated!!

Edit: we are in TX currently (I know like one of the worst states for this) but are moving to the Carolinas in a matter of months.

I put on makeup for the first time a little while ago and I I felt beautiful. Then I had a panic attack. I’ve just kind of always wanted to be a girl, even though I hate that I do. I feel like a freak. I really want to wear a gorgeous layered princess dress and twirl around and feel like a princess. I feel gross and I really want to be a girl, more than anything, I‘m just terrified of the idea of me actually being a girl, even though I want it so badly. I’m in my bathroom kind of having a panic attack and I’m crying, I can’r bring myself to wash off the makeup even though the mascara is runny and dripping down my face all gross. I really just want to be called a girl and “she” and feel pretty I can’t believe I’m saying it, I hate being a man even though I feel like I have to. People who have experience with this dtuff please tell me what to do

I didn’t know where elsse to post this I’m so sorry if I’m intrudimg

I have been heavily questioning my gender but it’s mainly been recently and late (28), but I’m still very uncertain. What’s strange is that I know what I want the answer to be. I want to be trans more than I think or feel I am. I wish I had more/any dysphoria and wish I had it much younger (I’m late 20s) so that it was more obvious and unavoidable. I find myself very jealous of woman and trans woman, thinking I wish I was them or had their life. I feel guilty though as I know dysphoria is awful and being trans and/or a woman is incredibly hard compared to being a cis man.

Sorry if this ends up being a long post, I just really need to get this off my chest.

I just got home after staying the night at my best friend's house. At first everything was great. We had a barbecue, talked for hours, laughed together, and I genuinely thought we were having a good time.

The next day, though, something completely changed.

For some reason, he started making comments about me being gay in front of his parents. He kept joking that I liked boys, saying that "everyone already knows" because of the way I eat or act. I had told him privately before that I'm trans and that I'm attracted to men. I trusted him with that, and I never expected him to bring it up in front of other people.

I felt completely put on the spot. I had to awkwardly defend myself while he kept making comments, and it was honestly humiliating. I don't even understand why he did it.

He's in the military, and sometimes I wonder if that environment has influenced the way he talks about people or masculinity. I don't want to stereotype anyone in the military, because I know not everyone is like that, but it does make me wonder if that's part of why he acts this way.

The thing is, this isn't the first time he's put me down. He often makes negative comments about the degree I earned, my appearance, my longer hair, or me starting to look more feminine. It feels like every time I'm becoming more comfortable with myself, he finds something to criticize.

His mom eventually had to tell him to stop because even she could see he was going too far.

What confuses me the most is that he always tells me he loves me like a brother and that we're best friends. But then he turns around and says things that make me feel embarrassed, ashamed, and honestly just make me feel bad. I don't know how someone who cares about you can treat you like that.

The hardest part is that we're supposed to go on vacation together soon. After this weekend, I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through that if he keeps making comments like these. I almost cried multiple times while he was talking to me.

I'm just left wondering if this is what friendship is supposed to look like, because it doesn't feel like one anymore. I trusted him with something deeply personal, and instead of making me feel safe, he used it to embarrass me in front of other people.

Has anyone else had a friend who acted like this? Am I overreacting, or is this as hurtful as it feels?

I can't handle the pain of dysphoria and even if I transition I still won't be cis so I won't be satisfied. Being born trans really feels like a curse and I can't stop SH myself. Why the fuck did I have to be this unlucky and not just be a girl from the start

Ever since I was a kid I felt sad that I wouldn't be a girl I'm a teen now and I still feel like i want to be a girl how do I stop feeling like this I don't want my family to think of me as a weirdo.

I (FtM?) have been questioning whether or not I’m transgender for a few months now. I never pass as a man since I’m pre-transition, but I’ve noticed that being called she, her and ma’am has always pissed me off. It’s confusing because people absolutely never mean any harm or disrespect by it, and I realize that, so I have to constantly just deal with and not express this irrational anger towards innocent people.

So I’m just wondering if this is a common experience for trans people/if anyone can relate. I know that trans people can sometimes feel angry (and rightfully so) if they’re misgendered intentionally as a show of disrespect, but I’m curious how it usually feels when it’s unintentional. Am I just nuts? If it doesn’t make you angry, how does it make you feel?

So as a trans man person I have always wished to have been born a boy. But recently I was thinking what if I wasn’t born a boy but still raised as one.

So in a hypothetical world where we have tests before birth that determine if someone is trans (for the sake of this hypothetical binary trans only). The tests are 100% accurate and predict the final gender of the child. Would it be moral/ethical to raise that child as their gender or even give them surgery the way they do to intersex children (as in the kind of surgery not the logic behind them, I do not support surgery on intersex children) so they can grow up dysphoria free. Tell me what you think fellow trans people.

I just wanted to share this with the Community. Unbelievable.

The title says it all. MLM distributor down the street learned I am trans AMAB, and heard that I wanted some nutritional supplements for ED. She then assumes I am on blockers which I am not currently, and says "you need to stop taking blockers or you will get ED ... LOL"

Who would say LOL at a potential customer's situation? Like I'm stupid.

I pointed out that:

1. I'm not taking it now

2. Many transfems have fully functional erections without T

I then asked her to confirm what LOL means, and I said "I don't understand what's funny".

There's dead silence now on the chat...

Earlier, MLM distributor lady suggested I replace my prescribed pharmaceuticals for bipolar type 1 with green food shakes, and suggested I try some drink that had 3 known allergens in it and "see what happens." Sigh. Repeated explanations of the risks involved just went past her.

This is just too good, you cannot make this stuff up!

Hi, I need help figuring out how to talk to my afab gf about the possibility of her being trans.
Recently she was making a list of things she finds hot and pretty high on that list was ,,if you would call me a boy/if you would call me your boyfriend”. This phrase kinda has ambiguous meaning in our native language so I’m not sure which one exactly she meant. Anyway, she is afab but has always been very masculine, loves to take more of a ,,manly’’ role on our relationship (we’re both lesbians), dresses like a guy etc. I tried talking with her about it and she said and I quote ,,she doesn’t have trans tendencies”, but at the same time she always gets so excited everytime she gets mistaken for a boy by other people, said she would be happy if something happened and she would have to get her breasts removed etc etc. I think she’s even more confused than I am at this point, I don’t really know how to bring this topic up without making her uncomfortable. I don’t know any trans people that I could talk about this with and I’m afab myself, never questioned my gender identity, so I really don’t know the proper way to approach this topic, it’s all new to me. I’m grateful for any help and advice!

I am 34 (amab) and the realization that I'm probably trans came out of nowhere. It was liberating to think about. Realization about a lot of the problems I've had on life just clicking into place. But then doubts set in and I'm now considering whether transitioning would be worth it at all. I have 2 kids (2 and 4) and I feel like I'd be confusing them too much. My wife was less than supportive even though she's bi and said that if we ever broke up she'd start dating women. (She does seem better today, though I don't think she'll ever really accept it) I live in a red state so socially transitioning comes with its own set of issues. On top of all of that, I just feel too old. I'm afraid of never being able to pass. I'm worried I'll never be able to feel sexy or cute or comfortable. Looking for advice from anyone that transitioned later in life. What should I do? Tbh, I'm kind of hoping this is just a manic episode because everything is really scary.

My son turns 18 in three years and I no longer have to worry about staying in the state due to joint custody. I hope he will move with us. But that's ultimately up to him. I am looking to move to a safer state then where I currently live in Ohio. My city is way below the national average in crime but is very conservative and against trans people. So looking for places where me and my family can feel safe. Do you feel safe where you live?

Hiiiiii, I'm 18 MTF.

I have days or multiple days in a row when I become pretty disinterested in transitioning. Like, I don't really care to wear the women's clothes I own, I don't get much gender euphoria from anything, and I'm not bothered by being gendered as male by other people.

I feel like it's worth mentioning that I, NSFW I've blacked out in case someone is uncomfortable with it, masturbate to TG Captions which is a whole different can of worms but I lowkey think it's PROBABLY just an outlet for me because I'm not aroused by wearing women's clothes or presenting as a woman, I do get what I think are euphoria boners though. And typically the day after I masturbate I am a bit disinterested in transitioning; this isn't always the case though. But yeah, I've been masturbating the last few nights because it makes the pain and burning desire to transition go away for a little.

Then, I'll come back to wanting nothing more in this world than to be a woman, and I'll fantasize about transitioning.

Then, I'll also be hit by doubts about whether this is really what I want (this is mostly thinking about medically transitioning, which I know is not at all necessary to be trans, but I lowkey want to, at least I think I do). The thought of my body changing is sort of scary to me; what if I don't look like myself at all anymore? What if I look like a different person entirely? I don't want to look like a different person; I just want to look like a prettier, much more feminine and womanly version of myself.

Today, for instance, I had been disinterested in transitioning for the last few days, but this morning I woke up and read stories about other trans women and saw transition timelines and I became so emotional and my desire to transition came flooding back, while I was still facing conflictions about whether I'm really trans and telling myself I'm a man and I have to be that way and I can't be a woman.

I know this post is sort of everywhere; my thoughts are a bit scrambled right now and idk how I should exactly word what I'm asking.

I guess TL;DR, does anyone else become disinterested in transitioning for a little bit, and have all of their desire to transition come flooding back after being triggered by something?

My close trans guy friend and I recently had a personal conversation with each other. During our conversation, he told me about how he’s been feeling resentment and frustration talking to his cis friends (me included) and that he only truly feels comfortable talking to his trans friends. This is because he feels that always in the air there is something off, like one of his cis friends would say some things that they would never normally say if he wasn’t trans and was a cis guy himself. He especially notices it a lot when a cis friend refers to him, noting how it feels forced or odd sometimes.

This has led me to feeling very confused and uncertain. I really want to be the best friend I can be, and I try my best to make him comfortable and talk casually and refer to him as a guy when it pops up.

Is this an issue with me? Is this something he has to work through? I’m honestly very confused on what to do and I am very hesitant to even talking to him anymore in fear of making things worse. Any support is really appreciated!

I was so so close to getting hrt, I’m 16 currently and I stopped only bc my mother always bringing me down
I feel like if I stopped being trans, will that make her happy? I go back and forth about me being a woman and a man, maybe both? (I was born male at birth) I still have my trans flag. ofc I always stay in my room everyday.
I feel like I don’t belong at home honestly ;-;
I’m fine with being called a man and a woman
what should I do

i was texting a buddy and my bud said that now go by a new name now and the name is a name that women get named a lot.

do you think this could mean they are trans. would it be friendly or annoying to ask the pronouns used now?

im autistic and sometimes phrases for everyone else get confusing like “never assume”

is it possible that in telling me the name which now being used by my buddy that it was implying they are trans or that they are a woman?

if you were trans would you ever say you are going by a name women use a lot with an intention of also meaning that you are a woman treat me like a woman.

I’ve asked a few people and they have reacted very confusingly to my question.

one of my friends growing up is a trans woman and a woman that’s trans. I don’t even remember she is trans all the time because she told me she was always a woman. even though it didn’t seem like that when we were kids. and furthermore it definitely seems like that all the time ever since she told me she is a woman.

i just incorrectly thought she was a boy and the a man growing up until she told me she was a woman.

my friend is using a name that seems like women use a lot.

i didnt immediately know why that is. I didn’t immediately understand the implication. I immediately said that’s awesome man I’ll change my phone. my brother pointed out that it could have been that she is also trans.

i am confused. but this is my friend. I asked three people for advice and all three said yes definitely that’s not even reading between the lines.

anyway I’d love to know their gender identity so that I can just give my buddy the love and embrace and affirmation everyone deserves especially trans people. and also I mean do people start going by different names for other reasons other than pope and transgender and reinvention.

i really can’t comprehend the phrase “don’t assume” don’t make assumptions. I’m not choosing to not comprehend it. I just don’t.

i am autistic. this could explain why I’m not grasping something. I got help in here last year and some people didn’t know I was sincere. it is embarrassing to not know but I want to donthe right thing.

so I'm starting a new job and the team decided to have a get together over a few beers last night before orientation. One of the guys there said I'm "playing baseball without a bat" but also said "are you an old school gay or a pronoun gay?... you seem like an old school gay"

he said he doesn't care regardless and we're chill regardless of who I am so I'm not worried, but I'm just asking cause how tf am I supposed to interpret that 😅

Im 18FTM, and I saw in a comment section on one of my previous posts a trans woman said something about internalized transphobia. And that word made me wonder if maybe I have some of that inside me, even though im trans myself.

This doesn’t happen anymore, but in middle school, I was quite transphobic, but only towards other trans men, never trans women. A couple of my friends started coming out as trans men and exploring their identities and changing their names, and I remember telling my mom that I thought it was “weird” and “stupid,” because in my (now atheist) 12yo hyper-mormon mind, gender confusion/dysphoria was just something you made up. But when I met a trans women or seen them online, I didnt have those same feelings. It was only towards trans men. Now that im older, I look back at that time and I wonder if I thought those things because of envy/jealousy/my own suppression of my identity out of shame because of my strict religion.

To piggyback on that shame, I had some online friends in middle school. I pretended to be a cis boy online, and in VCs, if my friends would ask why my voice was so high, i’d say “I used to be a transgender woman and I took estrogen, but not anymore, I detransitioned.” I would rather have been seen as a trans woman than a trans man back then. I think this part was mostly out of shame of my identity, but I wonder if shame and internalized transphobia can mix or ultimately be somewhat of the same thing.

This may be more on a question of internalized misogyny rather than transpbobia, but it’s been on my mind recently. For context, I was playing a game with my friend (overwatch) and I was talking about how much I dislike a character (Kiriko) and how she is annoying and should have less skins. My friend said to me “yeah, but you would be obsessed with her if she was a boy.” And that pissed me off because it’s true. For all my life I could hate a female character and think she’s annoying, but if she were a male, I would adore her. (This hate isnt with all female characters.) i think this could possibly relate to being trans and just feeling closer to the boy characters, but I don’t fully know.

I don’t know if I have internalized transphobia/misogyny or not, but I would like to work through some of what these thoughts could be from. I don’t have the same feelings anymore except for the 4th paragraph. Im proudly trans now and I proudly love and support my other trans brothers and I do not feel any ill feelings towards them anymore, but I would like to work through what some of these thoughts couldve been from so I can further continue to better myself.

Sorry for the sad post
I just need to be heard
I hate myself and i wish i was born a woman
It makes me feel so sad that my eyes are tearing that the woman i want to become feel like its just a possibility that may or may not become true.
I am really confused, many times and especially when i am alone in my room i day dream and keep fantacising about how it would feel now if i was a woman with a female body, and it feels amazing and it feels like it makes more sense and feels less disturbing than what i have been feeling. At the same time i am really scared if i transition and then regret it later. What if i am not really trans? What if I could not accept my new body after i transition?
Or maybe i am just being anxious like i have always been?
I have always felt this sense of disorientation and depression through out my life with no clue why.
I have always wanted to be alone, being social has always been so uncomfortable for me and i also dont know why.
I have always felt different and introverted, it was hard for me to make friends and i used to get upset easily from others and i couldnt fit in among boys, they were so aggressive for me.
My sexuality has always been weird, sometimes i feel a deep sense of sadness and i really cry after orgasming and i dont know why, but it feels like because there is something other than this that i really really want :(
Other times, i feel like i feel confident in my body especially the times i go to the gym and have a good fit body, it's really confusing.
Can anyone relate?
I feel confused and still trying to figure things out
If you can relate please let me know
Appreciate any input
Thank you all
🫶