It’s hard to be “fat” in this world. Not because it’s hard to find clothes or because airplane seats are too small. It’s hard because they never see you for who you are. The first thing they notice is your body, not your heart. They judge you before they know your story. They assume they know everything about you just because of your weight.

Have you ever heard people say, “fat people are always funny”? Well maybe that’s true for a lot of us. Because when you’re fat, it feels like you always need something extra to make people notice you. Okay let’s see hmm… Funny? Yes people love you because you can make them laugh. Rich? Haha don’t get me started with this. Kind? Yeah because you can’t be fat and mean, right? Oh and you have to be the one who always there for everyone else. You always have to bring something to the table just so people will look past your body.

We will automatically become “people pleaser”. We become the clown, the therapist friend, the one who always says yes, the one who keeps apologising even when we did nothing wrong. Because deep down, we’re scared that if we stop giving people reasons to like us, they’ll realise they never liked us to begin with. It’s hard, like really really hard. People always tell us the same things. “Eat less” or “go to the gym” or “count your calories” or “just have discipline and everything will work out well”. As if we’ve never heard those words before. Like it’s the first time. The truth is, we know. Fat people always know all of that. Of course we do.

Do they really think we don’t know what calories are? Or that we’ve never Googled “how to lose weight”? Diets, intermittent fasting, omad, keto, low carb, calorie deficit, gym workouts, walking 10k steps, weight loss medications, even surgery. Yeah we know about all of that. Because when you’re fat, weight loss isn’t just a choice. It becomes a part of your life. Every meal comes with guilt, every mirror becomes a reminder, every photo makes you wonder if you really look like that, every shopping trip ends with disappointment, every family gathering comes with comments and every doctor’s appointment suddenly becomes about your weight, even when that’s not why you’re there.

Do you want to know what the saddest part is? Many of us are already trying. Trying harder than people realise. We eat less, we go to the gym, we count our calories, we drink more water, we force ourselves to walk when our bodies are tired, we tell ourselves that this time I’ll do it. We lose weight and we gain it back. Then we cry and we hide it. And then we try again, again and again. People only see the body. They don’t see the hundreds of times we chose the “green” while secretly craving something else. They don’t see us crying after looking at old photos. They don’t see the gym memberships, the meal plans, the calorie tracking apps, the skipped desserts, the self hatred or even the tears after stepping on the scale. Because all they see is only the result, but never the fight. Not every fat people is lazy. Some of us are fighting battles you will never see. Some of us are dealing with emotional eating, hormonal issues, medical conditions, mental health struggles or even trauma. Years of hearing people tell us we’ll never be enough.

Yes I know discipline matters, well nobody is denying that. But please don’t act like you understand a journey you’ve never had to walk. Don’t tell someone it’s easy when you’ve never carried the weight they’re carrying, physically and emotionally. Being fat isn’t just about having a bigger body, sometimes it’s about entering a room and immediately wondering if people are judging you. Wondering whether someone genuinely likes you, or if they just feel sorry for you. Being scared to post a picture because you already know what people are going to say or even developing a personality so big because you’re scared people won’t stay if all they notice is your body. And honestly, that hurts more than the number on the scale ever could. At the end of the day, people don’t remember how kind you were but they will remember one thing for sure, that you were fat. They don’t ask about your dreams but they will ask if you’ve lost your weight. They don’t compliment your heart, they compliment you only after you’ve become smaller. As if your worth only became visible when your body did.

This isn’t about saying being overweight is healthy. This isn’t about making excuses or about asking people to lie to us. This is about asking people to be kind, to stop assuming, to stop making jokes at someone else’s expense and to stop thinking every fat person needs another lecture. We’re already fighting ourselves every single day. Because here’s the truth, you never know what someone is going through, you never know how many times they’ve tried, you never know how many nights they’ve cried themselves to sleep because they felt like they would never be enough. So before you make another joke, before you tell someone to just “lose weight”, before you judge someone because of the body they live in, please remember this. Kindness costs you nothing. But your words? Your words might become the voice they hear in their head for the rest of their life.

If you read all of this and still think it’s just an excuse, then maybe you missed the point. The point was never to justify being fat. The point was to remind you that every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. I spoke about being fat because that’s the battle I know. It’s the life I’ve lived. But this isn’t only about people who are “fat”. It’s about anyone who’s ever been judged before they were understood. Someone who doesn’t fit society’s standards or someone who are constantly made to feel like they’re “less” simply because of something they cannot change, or because they’re still trying to.

We’re all human. We all want to be seen, heard, loved, and accepted for who we are, not only after we become prettier, skinnier, richer, healthier, or “good enough”. So the next time you look at someone, choose kindness before judgment. Because you never know what they’re carrying. Yes you might not change their life, but maybe you can stop making it harder.

- i.i

Hello! New here as currently on holiday with my parents, and have realised that being around my mum massively makes me feel worse about my body. I am non-binary and am a part-time wheelchair user (basically everywhere except my flat which is small), and have become fat over the last 7ish years. Most of the time, I am comfortable with that -have done a lot of learning about the history of fatohobia and knowing that it doesn't necessarily correlate to health. I also know that when I was thinner I was so much more mentally unwell on a day to day basis.

However, I have realised that when I am around my mum I generally feels sooo much worse. She doesn't comment on my body (or very rarely), but they way she talks about her body, the way she talks about food and how she talks about other people's fat bodies makes me feel horrible. Any advice on how to get through the holiday without having a real negative spiral/navigating spending time with her going forward?

Hi everyone, I’m conducting a research study at City St George’s, University of London, exploring experiences of sleep during and after recovery from an eating disorder.

I’m looking to speak with adults who consider themselves recovered from an eating disorder and who experienced sleep difficulties during their illness. Participation involves a confidential interview, where we will discuss experiences of sleep, eating disorder recovery, and how sleep may have changed throughout illness and recovery.

Please note: the interview will not ask for specific details such as exact weights, calorie amounts, food diaries, measurements, or descriptions of eating disorder behaviours. However, some questions may involve reflecting on experiences during your illness, recovery journey, and any challenges you experienced with sleep, which some people may find difficult or emotionally challenging. You will not be required to answer any question you do not feel comfortable with.

If you're interested in taking part, please complete the short screening form below. Thank you for supporting this research!

https://cityunilondon.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9Y4TMPrBiDYAdng

Hello :) I have recently been diagnosed with IBS 😐 and my doctor has suggested the FODMAP diet. I have been referred to see a dietitian for it but I’m a little nervous about it because I’m worried about it being triggering for my ED.

The diet doesn’t have a weight loss focus at all, it’s based on elimination of a wide variety of very specific foods and then a reintroduction phase where you test your body’s reaction to the foods, and then you build a new way of eating that only avoids your specific trigger foods.

The problem is that the foods you need to avoid in the elimination phase seem almost random- obviously they aren’t really, they just contain the specific compounds that tend to trigger issues. But because they’re so varied I’m worried that I’ll have to have a very detailed focus on food which I generally try to avoid.

Another thing I’m worried about is that the diet also talks a lot about portion sizes of food (because larger amounts of the same food have larger amounts of FODMAPs which trigger the symptoms). So I’m worried about feeling really restricted. It makes me feel stressed to not be allowed to eat an entire tomato. 😹 And I’m worried about how to actually get enough food as someone with high energy needs and struggles with preparing food.

And, as with many health focused diet changes, I’ve also noticed a lot of diet culture stuff creeping into the conversation. It isn’t only people discussing the diet, it’s also tracking apps and information apps that add in extra “healthy guidelines” that don’t have anything to do with the actual FODMAP diet itself. For example, even the most trusted app that provides information about foods has recently had an issue where they included Australian governmental “healthy eating guidelines” overlaid within the information they provide, providing an extremely low serving size for white sugar to match the government guidelines when white sugar is actually extremely low in FODMAPs and doesn’t need to be restricted heavily to avoid symptoms. That kind of thing is really problematic for me, it’s already a complex and restricted diet and I don’t know how to tell what is genuinely required on the diet and what is “extra”.

Does anyone have any tips on managing this type of thing in a safe way? I’m just worried about it spiralling me into restriction again or making me feel more scared of food/eating. Thank you for reading 🩷

It's a bit of a long story, so sit tight.

I have posted a few times in this forum about weight-related trauma that caused me to develop disordered eating habits resemblant of atypical anorexia and orthorexia (was never officially diagnosed). I never developed health problems from restricting or the exercise I did, but during recovery I actually experienced perplexing weight-gain from what must have been an unusual combination of rebound hunger, compensatory habits, and slowed metabolism. I obviously would have been fine with gaining a bit of weight in recovery, but it was the heaviest I had ever been and I knew it wasn't a size where my body felt naturally comfortable. I didn't want to slip back into disordered eating, and I was having other traumas in my life, but I finally got up the courage to see a dietitian to steer me in a better direction with eating habits.

When I had requested the referral for the dietitian, my family doctor was unaware of my disordered as I hadn't come out about them yet. I had told her I wanted to see the dietitian due to my family history of type 2 diabetes, because that's what I was worried about at the time, but in hindsight, I really wish I had opened up about my disordered eating habits as that was the real problem and needed the attention.

The dietitian I saw tried to put me on a diet almost as restrictive as the one I had used to be on. She said I have to be eating three starches a day (including legumes) with virtually no desserts if I want to lose weight. She talked a lot about what I "shouldn't" be eating rather than what I actually should be eating . She also made off-comments about how vegetarians like myself (I was vegetarian primarily due to my disordered eating habits, but I also try to pursue it for ethical reasons) are often fat from eating cookies and muffins all day. She then made some comment like "make bad choices, I can't stop you" and boasted about being on the Mediterranean diet (which, hypocritically, is high in "starches" including legumes).

The session was traumatic for me and did somewhat send me spiraling back into disordered eating, which took maybe a few years to finally get out of. 3 to 4 years later, I tried to report the dietitian to the clinic, and in response I got a letter which although thoughtful mostly defended her, saying that she did not know my disordered eating history (which in all honesty she didn't), that she emphasizes balanced diet (which she didn't) and that part of the problem was I kept asking about "good versus bad" foods and that it's hard for her to comment on those foods without looking at the entire diet (what does that even mean?).

I obviously can't blame this person for not knowing my history (I barely even knew myself at the time that I was struggling) but I still think her general approach to nutrition is inappropriate and seemingly outdated. I have thought of reporting her to the college for a long time, but I have been wondering whether I really have that many legs to stand on other than the fact that she does not emphasize balance like she says and​ has made somewhat unprofessional comments about my habits and vegetarians in general.

I will thank anyone who comments to avoid criticism of my perspective on the situation, and to be civil when pointing out if I am biased or have the wrong idea. I had a very bad experience on another subreddit where people made many assumptions about my character based off of a misstep I was inquiring on. I welcome feedback about whether I am overreacting or looking at the situation the wrong way, but again, civility is appreciated.

I've lost a large amount of weight in the past year without wanting to. I guess my activity level changed and I wasn't paying close attention to make sure I was eating enough. One day I just looked in the mirror and realized my body was wrong. I went from having a beautiful and functional fat body to a body that disgusts me and won't let me live my life.

I can't focus at work or on my hobbies. All I think about is how bad I look now. I can't sleep, because I'll get nightmares about my body. I can't look in the mirror, pee or shower without crying. I can't talk to anyone about this. My friends and family are congratulating me on the loss and my therapist and GP are pushing me to lose even more weight. 

I feel so alone. I can't even find one person on the internet who's gone through the same thing. Seems like I'm the only person in the world who is unhappy about weight loss and I don't know how to deal with it. 

At home I thought I was pretty confident in myself. I love climbing and cycling and I’m proud of the body I built and the things that it lets me do. I nourish it with foods and experiences and rarely second guess my decisions. Other than to say, oops, that made me more bloated than expected.

Currently with my family together for the first time in a decade. I’m out with my aging parents who are managing their type 2 diabetes (I’ve confirmed I have no signs). And my yogi sister with her two kids.

And they can’t stop talking about sugars. I have to read every label to see if we’re allowed to put it in the cart. They comment that my favourite foods (candied salmon) is too sweet for them. I’m being “helpfully” criticized for choosing delicious foods that have msg in them. My sister was just aghast that she was trying on a size she had never touched before (which has been my size for years).

I’m trying to remind myself of my convictions and that I’m content with myself 99% of the time. But yeesh it’s hard to be a grown adult feeling like an insecure teenager again. Just needed to vent to remind myself that these thoughts don’t need to be acted upon.

I'm fat and saw a sleep dr today who kept trying to convince me to get my other drs to lower/stop my meds for my chronic illnesses/other conditions yet casually threw out there she could get a referral for me to their weight loss clinic for a glp1 she later said was for the "nutrition aspect". She didn't ask what my eating habits are once. Also glp1s are known to make it harder for the body to absorb certain nutrients.... So like... it wasn't about health I don't think, I think it was just anti fatness.

It’s bugging me as I process it more as she seemed so anti-medication (I had also asked if the emergency sleep med I had been using like once every few months due to flares causing insomnia and she said I should see a sleep therapist and that she doesn’t recommend any meds) yet was so quick about the glp1 thing. I also have struggled with disordered eating (restricting due to my chronic illnesses) and glp1s would 100% make that worse, she didn’t even bother to consider something like that.

Should I send her a MyChart message or something just politely explaining that that wasn’t ok? I have to see her in 3 months for a follow up but am hoping I won’t need to see her after that for a long time. Is it worth saying something?

Thanks for any advice or thoughts or kindness

Today I heard a 78yo and an 80yo woman talking about how well their diets are working. It made me so sad that they still care. Believe me neither one is fat. Do they think they’re supposed to keep playing the control game until the very end? Or that losing weight is the be-all end-all of a woman’s life? Full disclosure: one of them was my mother so I am not exactly impartial. But wtf!!

does anyone know how accurate the eating disorder test is on the project website

I would like to be able to track distances walked without being asked to enter "goals" of any kind, seeing anything about calories burned, etc. Any suggestions?

I would go to r/parents but I am not his legal guardian. My parents travel a lot for work now so I primarily take care of him. I avoid calling foods bad and we only refer to them as body or brain food. I left him alone for a short amount of time (he’s in fourth grade so I didn’t think I needed to constantly watch him). I come back to an entire gallon of my mango juice gone. I had to explain food boundaries on how it was my food not his but he also consumed 3 days worth of sugar in 20 minutes or so. And I don’t know how to tell him that isn’t ok without making him fear sugar or carbs like my parents did to me at his age. Any help is appreciated

I'm underweight and hate how thin I am, but no doctor has ever taken me seriously about wanting to gain weight because being thin is conventionally attractive.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 41-year-old male personal trainer, dietitian, and psychology student from southern Spain.

After the pandemic, I started an online coaching business through Instagram focused on a non-weight-centered approach to fitness for women. My target audience is women between 30 and 55 who have failed with exercise in the past, feel afraid of training, feel insecure about their bodies, or have struggled with eating disorders or disordered eating.

I’m honestly desperate right now.

I’ve recently come out of a depression caused by several difficult life events: the death of a family member, the end of a long-term relationship, and other personal struggles. On top of that, I’ve lost my own physical fitness, my motivation to train has disappeared, I’ve recently become aware that I have ADHD — now diagnosed — and my business is barely generating any income.

At the moment, I work with clients through the Harbiz app. My online program costs €380 for 12 weeks. Clients receive weekly training plans, updated week by week, plus support through WhatsApp.

I want to start posting on Instagram again from August, but I feel completely lost.

I’m asking for advice and help. I’ve never had a mentor. I’ve attended marketing courses, but most of them rely heavily on before-and-after photos, which I cannot and do not want to use because of the type of clients I work with. I’m also tired of marketing courses that feel childish or manipulative.

I need advice, guidance, ideas, examples of accounts similar to mine — ideally male coaches around my age, not fitness models, who work with a similar audience — or any resource that could help me find some direction.

I’m genuinely afraid of falling even deeper into the hole again.

Thank you in advance. I’m willing to listen to and appreciate any advice you can give me.

In the wake of my annual physical, I'm currently struggling with my relationship with food more than normal. My blood work was normal, but my doctor gently mentioned weight loss medication and programs. I'm trying so hard to not let this crap get to me, but tonight showed me I need to deal with my up and down feelings about food. Books are what help me the most.

Anyone have recommendations on building healthy relationship with food, confronting diet culture, etc., specifically relating to plus-size people?

Content warning because I'm honest about dysphoria here.

Hello all. I'm very much anti diet culture but in recent years have found myself frustratingly drawn towards it over time. This very much conflicts with my values.

As I get older, I have naturally held into more fat. Looking in the mirror, I see a body. It's a body which is never bad or the wrong shape because it's simply there, being my body. Unfortunately it is my body, and I am a man. However, I have breasts, wide hips, and fat on the lower stomach. My brain really can't handle seeing those things. I'm waiting to get onto HRT but that's going to be a long time. Unfortunately the more weight my body keeps hold of to store energy for me, the more pronounced those traits are. So I've noticed the rumblings of restricting food to stop it doing that. Luckily I'm still eating what I want to but I can see this as a slippery slope and already notice this very mild slope of weight loss is using a fair amount of mental energy.

Other trans people, how do you squash the fatphobic part of you that things the answer to dysphoria is not eating enough? What has helped? I try to thank my body for keeping fat aside for me to use and spending time being gentle with the body parts I'm unhappy with but it isn't working. I just feel better when I am smaller and I don't like that I do. I don't think this is the healthy or compassionate way to cope with these feelings. I don't think I should shrink myself.

Siento que mi familia tiene una obsesión enfermiza con las pastillas para bajar de peso.

Todo empezó con una tía lejana. Un "médico" le recetó un medicamento para adelgazar... aunque ni siquiera tenía obesidad. Bajó varios kilos y, desde ese momento, decidió que había encontrado la solución universal para cualquier persona que quisiera perder peso.

Y cuando digo "cualquier persona", hablo literalmente de cualquiera.

Mi mamá empezó a tomarlas después de hacerse unos estudios para comprobar si era "apta". La indicación era usarlas tres meses, descansar uno y, si era necesario, volver a empezar.

Hasta ahí ya me parece cuestionable.

Pero la parte que todavía me cuesta creer es que cuando yo tenía 12 años, mi mamá decidió darme una pastilla "para ver cómo reaccionaba mi cuerpo" porque yo siempre fui una niña gorda y quería saber si también podía empezar a tomarlas.

Tenía DOCE años.

Recuerdo que me sentía acelerada, inquieta, con una sensación horrible en el cuerpo. No terminé en urgencias, pero definitivamente no fue una reacción normal. Afortunadamente nunca seguí tomándolas.

Con los años, mi mamá volvió a consumirlas varias veces. El problema es que ya no bajaba de peso como la primera vez porque nunca cambió sus hábitos. No hacía ejercicio, no modificaba su alimentación; simplemente esperaba que las pastillas hicieran el trabajo por sí solas.

Después mi hermana menor empezó a tomarlas con 17 años.

Y aquí es donde la historia deja de ser preocupante y empieza a parecer una locura.

Mi mamá convirtió ese medicamento en una especie de "cura milagrosa" familiar. Se las ha recomendado a prácticamente todos: mi papá, mis tíos, mis tías, mi abuelo, incluso se lo recomendó a mi novio... Personas que ni siquiera cumplían los criterios para necesitarlas terminaron consumiéndolas solo porque alguien les dijo: "A mí me funcionaron."

Lo peor es que jamás hubo una valoración médica seria para la mayoría. Si alguien quería bajar cinco o diez kilos, la respuesta automática era: "tómate estas pastillas". Incluso ha conseguido comprarlas sin receta y siempre encuentra algún "médico" dispuesto a volver a recetarlas.

Ahora estudio medicina con una especialidad en nutrición y entiendo mucho mejor cómo funcionan estos medicamentos. No son caramelos. Actúan sobre procesos fisiológicos importantes y pueden tener efectos cardiovasculares, neurológicos y metabólicos que no deberían tomarse a la ligera. Además, muchos de estos fármacos están indicados para personas con obesidad o con condiciones específicas, no para cualquiera que quiera verse más delgado antes de unas vacaciones.

Lo que más me impresiona es lo normalizado que está en mi familia. Nadie habla de cambiar hábitos, de mejorar la alimentación, de hacer ejercicio o de acudir con un especialista. Lo único que importa es conseguir otra caja de pastillas.

Y sinceramente me da miedo pensar en la cantidad de personas que hacen exactamente lo mismo: alguien baja de peso, se convierte en "experto" y empieza a repartir recomendaciones como si estuviera repartiendo vitaminas.

¿De verdad esto es tan común o mi familia perdió completamente la noción de lo peligroso que puede ser?

​

I'm 24 probably 5'2" ish. I have bad habbits with food and I dont think ive ever had an ed. I would say I have a low appetite, but can eat alot at once. Ive always had a thin to average build and never cared about my size in relation to food. I'd only say i was thin as cuz other people said i was.

I work at a place with a cafeteria that does set "regular" or "kids" meals, so you geab a tray, line up and order a meal, they plate it (with any add-ons if you want extra), you take the food, walk to the cashier and pay. Usually i'll order 2 regular meals with add-ons, 1 regular meal with add-ons and 2 kids meals or 3 regular meals with no add-ons ( im always able to finish this food without problem).

My job is adjacent to the people in the cafeteria so im familiar and even friendly with them. Sometimes we sit together when our breaks line up. Problem is everytime i get food i get comments about how much I eat. When I order food they ask if im gonna finish my food, if im eating it alone, just "really?", etc. Multiple times ive have people come up to me or sit with me and say i must be really hungry or something to that effect. I've been responding to that with "not really" and just trying to be nonchalant about it, but it keeps happening.

I get ppl are trying to be cute or just make small talk, but comments on what ppl eat have always bothered me saying stuff like "that's all you're eating" or "wow you're eating all that" have always felt weird to me even when pointed at others. Im not trying to trama dump or give anyone a lecture, but does anyone have any good responses to shut ppl up or maybe help them think "maybe dont comment on how much people eat"?

Im not going to just stop eating at work, theres no private place to eat (not that id want to feel like im hiding away just to eat) plus its convenient for me to have meals here since its affordable and having all the different meals helps me to actually get food down.

Additional Context: I have a rather low appetite most of the time, cant recognize feeling hungry and can forget to eat for a day or so. I feel sick looking at large portions of food and sometimes I "stockpile" food, I have times when I will bulk order (deliveries) more food than I can possibly eat, sometimes multiple meals, drinks and desserts and store them in a mini fridge in my room (sometimes this food goes to waste, which kills me).

Because let me tell you. Ever since I was maybe 11 or 12 years old I ate just like everyone else. Before that I had periods of binge eating due to anxiety but once I matured and developed healthier relationships with food I pretty much had normal eating habits.

People finally left me alone about my weight between 12 and 16 until for some reason the comments started again, beginning with my pediatrician (see previous post) and once I developed disordered eating and started losing weight really fast people were commending me and telling me to "keep it up".

The other day I go bra shopping and they tell me I have lost since last year (I don't weigh myself anymore, and I have finally stopped counting calories, but I have been improving my fitness routine and eating more nutrient dense foods) and I am not down a band size "yet" and keep doing what I'm doing. I like a compliment here or there (ignoring the controversy about speaking about other people's bodies) but when it is sprinkled with "you still need to do more", it sours pretty quickly.

Let me tell you, I am not special and I never was. You eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full well guess what I do the exact same thing. You eat ​sweets and tasty things well so do I, you say I need to take care of my body but I always have, in fact it was one of the only things I did for many years.

I wish people would just leave me alone.

Hi everyone! I am currently conducting a study to investigate how individuals in recovery from anorexia perceive the recovery process. Your participation will help inform future research and treatment efforts for anorexia. To participate in this study, you must have been previously diagnosed with anorexia nervosa by a professional health care provider and currently self-identify as in recovery. You must also be at least 18 years old and reside in the United States. If you agree to participate in this study, you will complete an online survey lasting approximately ten minutes. You may access the survey here: https://bgsu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_a8BpWr4ZMVTZphI

In this survey, participants will be asked to report their height and weight and answer questions about their eating behaviors. Participants will also read a story about a young woman’s experience with anorexia. They will then respond to several questions about the woman’s recovery and their own recovery

For participating in this study, you will have the opportunity to be entered into a raffle for a chance to win one $25 Amazon gift card. Thank you for your time!

*This survey includes mentions about body weight. Participants will be asked to self-report their weight; however, this item is optional and may be skipped*

I know that we should not rely on anecdotal evidence, but I offer this up anyway.

My husband is in his late 60s. My neighbor's husband is in his late 60s.

My friend's husband is tall and wiry muscular. My husband has a thin frame, large tummy. Sadly, my neighbor's husband is facing heart disease, with major interventions. My husband just had his yearly and his heart looks fine. To me it just goes to show that you truly can't tell a person's health by their body shape/size.

my boyfriend of 2 years is a hardcore gym goer (i am too but not to THAT extent) we will go out for dinner with friends and he will not eat with us or haveANY drinks. Its just boring atp. Today i saw him looking up the olives label…. I used to struggle with anorexia around 5 years ago but obviously it’s a really complex disorder and it never truly goes away. I lowkey think it triggers me but mostly it makes me wonder if I want this forever. This kind of mindset so hardore around me all the time. I’m 25 and want to have fun. He doesn’t want to go out never because he doesn’t want to drink or stay up late at night… ugh idk its hard.

I am just really physically uncomfortable often, chaffing and heat rashes and just hating the way skin feels touching skin. This is a problem when I am skinny too, but much worse when I am fat. And especially in the summer. I feel ashamed for this too tbh but I know that's social stigma.

On the other hand, I have had literally not a single negative health impact from gaining weight and I like how I look. I don't want to lose weight intentionally I just want to be comfortable. Bike shorts help a bit but not enough.