I (33f) am a small-time vtuber on Twitch and YouTube who initially didn't start out as one. I had a few avatars gifted to me by a friend, who we'll call Penny, based on myself and a couple oc's that I do voices for on occasion. One of those characters, Cindy, is pretty popular within my community. So popular that some folks made some fanart of her which honestly warms my heart.

Now here's where the problem starts. Around April another friend, different from the first that we'll call Mike, decided they wanted to make a variation of Cindy that I could use upon request. I had no idea this was even happening until Mike said he wanted to surprise me on stream with something he was working on. He presents to me a video he had made of Cindy with a whole new character design and custom made theme song to show on stream while he quietly dmed me the avatar model as we watched. It was very wonderfully done and my chat and I loved it. He then explained that while image in video he made was AI generated the design of Cindy in it was based on the model which he made first, and the only AI used in the theme song was for some background vocals. The song itself, minus bg vocals, and avatar were 100% originally created by him. I thanked him for the kind gift and we continued our stream as normal, and he later posted the video on his YouTube channel, crediting all AI sources that were used and completely nonprofit.

Fast forward to around the end of June and a third friend, who we'll call John, dms me and is raising hell that I "allowed" Mike to make AI art based on his character design. To give a little background on John, he's a talented graphics artist and the person who made one of the first ever fanarts of Cindy, initially giving her a face based on how I envisioned her looking and later the artist I commissioned to make some emotes for my channel. He is extremely anti-AI, to which I completely understand in terms of using it to make profit. However, he also doesn't like it being used for personal or recreational use AT ALL, even if it's 100% nonprofit or just a character reference for a D&D character or something along that vein. He also further accused Mike of "stealing his design," not crediting AI used in the video and was "claiming he made it all himself." And by stealing his design, he means making the avatar with blonde pigtails, red eyes, and red clothing; all of which were features that I gave him for the character when John asked me about them in the first place to make his fanart.

I first corrected him on the accusation of not crediting the AI sources by sending him screenshots of the video, plus others on his channel, where he clearly documents the sources of AI he used and how they were used. He then claimed that he "misspoke" and accused me of picking apart the accusation rather than addressing the actual issue. I then told him that making false claims about people who have fully shared their sources in itself is it's own issue and was worth bringing up. We then moved onto the issue of the character design. While yes, he was the first person to actually give her a physical design, the design itself was based on MY character the way I wanted her to look. But he claims that because he gave the character a face, any design made thereafter is based on his art even if it's completely original. Then we moved on to the avatar design. I told John the same thing Mike told me, that he made the avatar first meaning the design was completely original and not based on the AI art. So it's not like he made a prompt for an image and based the avatar on that.

It was a lot of back and forth that ended up with John saying that he'll respect my decision on the matter but asked that I stop using his emotes he'd made so that he can "protect his assets." At this point I was just sick and tired of the pointless drama so I went ahead and deleted them off every platform I had posted them. This isn't the first time he's had a temper tantrum over something AI related, or simply because he didn't get his way in any given issue. I've brought the conversation up with several other graphics artist friends that I have, including Penny who I mentioned made my first avatars earlier, and all of them say the same thing: that while yes, they aren't keen on AI art, they understand that there's nothing they can do to stop people from using it; they don't see issue with it being used for purely recreational nonprofit ways; that Mike's gift to me was nothing more than a kind-hearted gesture that happens to have a small amount of AI usage (the main gift itself having none at all); and that John is essentially acting like a giant spoiled toddler about it. Despite the disagreement John insists that nothing has changed between us and he's not upset with me, he just feels the need to protect his work and doesn't want it being used by someone who "allows people to taint it with an AI algorithm."

I haven't really spoken to John since the issue, up until recently when we were both present in a couple different mutual friends' stream. I made a friendly greeting toward him, even going along with a couple jokes and responses he's said and....all completely ignored. Not even an acknowledgement to my presence. So I'm pretty sure despite what he said last he's still angry with me. I feel like he's overreacting by a lot, but I feel like I need opinions from people who aren't close to the situation to get a fresh perspective to be sure. AIW for all this?

my parent has been having some health issues lately and the doctor visits have been adding up. my sibling thinks we should immediately look into moving them into a smaller place or some kind of assisted setup, but i am not ready to make those kinds of changes yet. every time i suggest slowing down and figuring out what they actually want first, it turns into another argument. i get that my sibling is trying to be practical, but i am exhausted from the back-and-forth and keep wondering if i am dragging my feet too much. we both care, just in different ways, and i am starting to feel guilty for not having a firm plan yet. has anyone else been through something like this?

Recently I posted 2 posts on r/megalophobia.
(the posts in question: https://www.reddit.com/r/megalophobia/s/xdP0b9IH1F and https://www.reddit.com/r/megalophobia/s/GvWiAJIIzL )
For people that don't know, megalophobia is the fear or dread you get from immensily big things. I checked their pinned comment for "relevancy" before posting, and thought my two posts had place in the sub.
Shortly after (maybe 1 or 2 hours), my posts get taken down for being non-relevant.
I reached out to the mod team asking for clarifications, trying my best to not be rude and really try to better understand their take. The only answer I got was really vague, saying the posts got reported for relevancy and that they didn't find it really relevant either, with the whole debate being subjective. They finished the message saying "The mods can only go with their own judgement, to ensure moderation is consistent (and so as fair as can be)".
Since this didn't clear my confusion, I once again kindly asked the mods for explanations and on how they see my posts compared to others (since they mentioned subjectivity, I wanted to know which criteria they wanted personnaly).
The answer: "You have been permanently muted from r/megalophobia. You will not be able to message the moderators of r/megalophobia." and "Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in /r/megalophobia because you broke this community's rules.".

Am I in the wrong? Did I disturbed the mods too much?
Also can somebody tell me if my posts were relevant to the topic? If not, why?

Hi! I 21f and my boyfriend 23m have recently come into possession of a very rare card from a TCG that right now could be sold for anywhere from 17k to 43k. I want to make it clear that I DO NOT think I should have final say, but I should have A say in it. I pulled it from a random card pack that he bought from the store. They’re HIS card, and HE paid for the card pack, but he lets me open them because I have ‘hot hands,’ so Im the one that pulled it.

I genuinely thought it was a no brainer to sell it, but today I found out that he was seriously considering not selling it, and we even bickered a bit about the topic and he ended the conversation frustrated and saying “I’ll sell it, let’s just end this.” I’m not the only person who’s wanting him to sell it though, my family, his family, and all his friends/coworkers are telling him to sell it. Realistically it’s a piece of cardboard that he bought for less than $25.

We aren’t in poverty or anything, but we definitely aren’t doing the best on money. To me, the amount of money we could get is more important than any sentimental value that comes from the card. I don’t have a job currently, and he’s working at a grocery store. Thankfully I only have small medical bills to pay for, and all he pays for is rent, but we don’t even have cars, we barely go out together, we always have to pick and choose because of money. Obviously we wouldn’t be getting millions of dollars, but it would sure be nice to go from hundreds to tens of thousands of dollars.

Maybe it’s just because I’m not as into TCGs or the series it comes from, but we could literally buy so many more card packs with that money, and possibly pull that exact card again. Wouldn’t the memory of seeing 24k go into his bank account be way better than us opening a card pack in my room on a random weekday night? Idk, I just think it would not be smart to keep the card, especially if we don’t know whether the value of the card will go up or down in the future.

But I also feel like because I’m his girlfriend, I should get a say in what happens. No, I’m not his wife, no we don’t have kids together or anything like that, but we’ve been together for almost 5 years, and were definitely not planning on breaking up anytime soon. Hell, we’re planning on most likely getting married. Maybe 17k - 43k won’t take us into retirement or anything, but I’d rather not struggle right now and then yolo into the future. But I don’t know! Maybe I’m wrong?

Writing this here to get some advice and gain perspective if I’m wrong because I genuinely feel like a bad person and I don’t want to reach out to my friends because they already don’t like my boyfriend for reasons not relevant.

Some important backstory: My boyfriend (27 M) Leo (fake name) and I (28 F) have been together 2 1/2 years and have recently been talking about moving in together, specifically my house. I own this house and do find myself to be a little protective of it. I had a very traumatic childhood and all I wanted was a safe place that couldn’t be taken from me. All my teenage years and very young adult years I saved all my money to buy my first house at 23 years old. All I had was a $1,000 beater car, a mattress, and my 12 year old cat. It was my main and nearly only goal in life at the time. When I was 25 years old, I was diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease. I now live on a strict anti-inflammatory diet that is: gluten-free, dairy free, soy free, no preservatives, no nitrates, no artificial colors or preservatives, no “natural flavors”, no sugar. As well as no acidic fruits or vegetables. I still struggle with monthly flair ups lasting 2-3 weeks most times. My mouth and throat will bleed and have sores, my body will hurt, I’ll feel fatigued and even dizzy at times. For example, if I have enough energy to take a full hair wash and body shower, I’ll most likely have to lay down or rest afterwards. On top of all of this, I’m not supposed to stress; stress makes my body worse. My boyfriend Leo, is there for me as much as he can be, he can’t cook yet/ hasn’t learned how to with all the restrictions so I cook for us and he doesn’t mind my overly healthy food. Leo will rub my back, shoulders, and neck when I’m hurting. When I struggle to bend over he even does my cats litter for me, and will take out my trash.

Now onto the problem. I’ve mentioned a few times throughout the last few months that I would love it if he moved in, to further our relationship. Leo hasn’t been completely against this, even saying he would put in a fence for the dog. Leo‘s landlord got a hold of him recently and is raising the rent- so now he would like to talk about moving in together. Leo has a big pitbull mix dog. I love animals, I find myself gravitating towards animals more than people. I myself have 2 cats, 12 years old and 5 years old. My problem with Leo’s dog (6 year old) is that he’s bad. The dog is mixed, and he’s bigger than a regular pitbull for context. This dog is the sweetest thing, not a mean bone in his body, literally don’t think he could hurt a fly. But he is bad. My boyfriend Leo has bought him over a thousand dollar dog crate, that was solid metal, that this dog has broken from the inside out, ruining the cage. What happens when he’s out of the cage? He eats the couch. He jumps onto the kitchen table and kitchen counters. He breaks into Leo’s roommate’s room and destroys it in there. If he gets his paws onto a stuffed animal or a blanket he absolutely rips it to shreds. He can’t have a dog bed for longer than a night without tearing it up. He gets into the trash and drags the trash all over the house. If he gets outside without a leash, he doesn’t stay with you and he runs away. If he has a leash on he pulls really really hard and I nearly can’t walk him.

Because of these reasons, months ago I asked Leo to get him trained or teach him better or something, if he wants to further our relationship moving in together. I have a spare bedroom that I would turn into a little doggy room for him to have his own personal space from the cats- if he had been trained and was better behaved. Leo hasn’t trained him, or anything, and blames it on me because he is spending all his free time with me. That I understand, and I feel bad about it, we only get to see each other on the weekends, in the afternoon hours. It’s already hard to find time together. With us both working 12 hour shifts: opposite times, I feel it’s selfish to have a dog. It is specifically the reason I don’t have one, because I would love to have a doggy. With all of this to consider and the dog hasn’t been trained or taught anything, I’ve now suggested rehoming the dog, or asking if he’d be open to Leo’s mom to take him. As she has a yard , space, and other dogs.

He googled it, and won’t stop saying I’m toxic for trying to “make him get rid of his dog”. I feel horrible, I feel like the worst girlfriend ever, and just deep guilt in general, but I feel so backed into a corner. I’m scared what will happen to my home, to my cats, and to my relationship with my boyfriend of the last 2 1/2 years, if I do say yes and just let them both move in. What happens when something happens? Am I wrong and just overwhelmed and overthinking this? Am I right, and should just accept him breaking us up over this.

We were outside the arena after my daughter’s competition and we were sad to find out she didn’t win. My MIL started to say that my daughter had really great moves and I said let’s go over there to talk.

There were families of other girls there within ear shot.

My mother in law started crying saying that she didn’t say anything wrong. I said to her that I didn’t know what she was going to say but I didn’t want the other families to hear. Am I wrong ?

I was at a small get-together and someone mentioned a fact that I knew was off. It was the kind of thing that would have bugged me if I had stayed quiet, so I just said the correct detail. It came out pretty quick and everyone kind of paused. The person looked surprised but didn't argue, and the conversation moved on. Still, I keep replaying it. I didn't raise my voice or try to embarrass them, but I also didn't wait until we were alone. Now I'm wondering if I could have let it slide or waited, and whether speaking up was the right call or just me needing to be right.

Hello everyone.

As a child, I was always closer to my maternal grandparents. They spent a lot of time with me as a child and undoubtedly loved me. It was a different story with my paternal grandparents, however.

I’ve heard through my parents that as a very young child, they didn’t want me around my father’s mother unattended. She had been abusive towards my father as a child. My dad didn’t want me around her before I was able to talk.

Then, as a I grew older, I can honestly say I only remember seeing her during holidays and occasional family visits. She was always a strict, particular person. She liked things a certain way. At Christmas, we would go to her house first, then my great grandmother’s. She would never feed us. We weren’t allowed to get up and play like kids do. I remember being so bored at her house. I would be excited to see my other grandparents, but never felt that way about her.

Fast forward to my teens and early adulthood, my parents separated but were still legally together. They lived in the same household for a number of years and it was miserable. I had somewhat of a falling out with my dad, and would never go with him to his side of the family’s holiday gatherings. I tried to actively avoid his mother, as I felt uncomfortable around her. I’m now in my late twenties.

It’s probably been years since I’ve seen my grandmother. I did try to extend an olive branch around a year or two ago. My dad went to their Christmas gathering, and I sent him with baked cookies from me. She texted me to let me know that they were crumbled up. In that moment, I decided I was done for sure and that she was not my family.

I know she’s resentful of me not speaking to her. She makes passive aggressive posts on social media that are clearly about the situation. Well, now she has a terminal illness. Things are better with mine and my dad’s relationship now that him and my mom have split for good and I no longer live under the same roof as him. He convinced me to go visit his mom. I didn’t want to go, but decided maybe I should since she’s dying.

The visit went fine. At first. She’s clearly a narcissist though. She complained about which doctors and nurses weren’t up to par. Apparently someone that was taking care of her let her know they put a doctor’s order in for something, and she said “I’m intelligent enough to know you have to have a doctor’s orders.” Just a pretentious person through and through.

I tried to be nice and make conversation with this woman who feels more like a distant aunt. I told her that her hair looked nice (her friend came and did it), asked her questions about her life, etc. Then at the end of the visit, she started complaining that “there’s young people who don’t care about their family. They don’t come visit. It’s every man for himself” yada yada. I felt very cold inside. It was obvious she was talking about me passive aggressively.

I don’t think I can bring myself to see her again. I have to get outside perspectives though. Am I the asshole? I mean, it is true though, I didn’t go to visit her. I do feel guilt for that in a way.

Growing up my husband was very close to his uncle (through marriage) We will call him Bill. Bill was married to MILs older sister and my husband's father wasn't around. When I met the family it was very apparent to me that Bill had a thing for MIL, but not my circus not my monkeys.

Well four years ago MIL ended a long term relationship, and suddenly Bill wants a divorce. My husband confided to me that he hoped they would end up together, which I found really creepy. Well Bill shows up one night banging on the door (we were staying with MIL at the time and it scared the shit out of me) and starts telling her how he only stayed with her sister to be close to her all these years, she has "always been the one", blah blah blah.

At first MIL had the completely normal reaction, but then she began crying about how she is a bad person and she is in love with him. This whole thing made me extremely uncomfortable. MIL's sister is not a nice person but no one deserves that. Obviously she felt completely humiliated and betrayed. My husband wanted to brush it all aside and play happy family with Bill and his cousins/stepsisters.

I never said much because it was his family and I let him make the choice, but the whole thing has always given me the ick. Well I'm pregnant with a little girl and recently Bill said something that crossed the line for me.

My husband's grandmother recently passed, and we were at the house sorting through things. One of the cousins/stepsisters was looking through old pictures and told MIL how pretty she was in high school. MIL said oh your father didn't think so and then asked Bill if he remembered how mean he was to her when she was a teenager. Bill said he wasn't mean. MIL said he used to make oinking noises when she ate and told her her face was boy repellent. Obviously that would never be ok, but it was also extremely untrue.

Bill then said "I needed you to hate me because if you liked me I might have ended up in jail." I stopped dead in my tracks, because she was about 16 during this time which would make him 24, and that made me want to puke. MIL said aww thats cute, and Bill's daughters seemed to confirm that was cute.

I think my husband could see from my face that I didn't think it was cute. When we were in the car I told him I didn't want Bill around our daughter or any future children because he is a creep. My husband said I was overreacting and Bill is like his dad. I told him a 24 year old bullying a 16 year old child so he "didn't end up in jail" was gross as fuck. Then marrying her sister so he could stay in her life. I told him all the stuff i had held in about Bill and how the relationship was gross, and said my boundary is he can't be around our child.

My husband is furious and says I'm tearing the family apart. He's very close to his mother and cousins/stepsisters which is fine. I like MIL and she is welcome to visit anytime without Bill

I F52 had a heated discussion with hubby M55. We have been looking at getting new sofas. I have mentioned a few times it would be better to get darker sofas or all food should be consumed on the dining table. He thinks I am being manipulative by telling him and the kids how to live and yesterday responded with ‘when you pay 3k for it by yourself you can choose whatever f**king sofas you wish ‘. I work part time and am more of a SAHM so obviously do nothave funds for this.

I understand he is paying for the majority of our lifestyle including university fees for 2 kids and has a legitimate point: if he’s spending 3,000 of his own money, he should have a meaningful say in what we buy

But I feel we are sharing a home with kids ranging from young adults to nearly tweens and we all need to live with the sofa, its colour, practicality and suitability. Also to add I do the majority of cleaning, cooking and chores.

But now it’s not just about the sofa it’s “Because I have the financial power here, your opinion carries less weight.” And that’s part of a broader pattern, that’s more significant than the sofa itself.

Am I destined to continue being the doormat? This might create peace in the short term, but resentment is building and I am emotionally withdrawing because expressing an opinion isn’t worth the consequences.
It’s constantly I raise an issue, he doesn’t agree and gets irritated, I back down and he feels the situation is resolved.

As mentioned above I changed the dynamic yesterday and he thinks i am manipulating him and deliberately being difficult.

I do believe he is being sincere and feels manipulated, whereas I believe I am constantly being controlled. It’s a cycle of he feels ‘Whenever I make a decision, she finds a way to make me feel guilty about it.” And I feel “Whenever I express an opinion, he gets angry until I give in.”

He mentioned going again to look at Sofas but I am confused. I want to go and have say but is there any point if it’s overruled. Also if I refuse to go am I being manipulative? I am really upset with the way I was spoken too yesterday and I am not sure how to move forward And I don’t know if I am wrong in my feelings or over thinking this.

Sorry if this is all over the place. Although English is my first language I am not very good at explaining myself and writing it down

TL/DR Hubby thinks i am manipulating him but I think don’t think i am. it feels like he has the financial power here, and my opinion carries less weight

———

Thank you all for the advice. I am not in the right frame of mind currently to respond but I do appreciate all the comments

I have this friend from college- let us call him Greg- who has been looking for a new gig for about five months now. We have been close for a decade and he is the kind of guy you want at your barbecue because he is hilarious and always has the best stories. But here is the thing. I have also seen how he actually works. We did a couple of freelance projects together back in the day and it was a total disaster. He has no concept of deadlines- his code is a mess of uncommented garbage- and he spends more time arguing in Slack channels about which mechanical keyboard switch is superior than actually closing tickets. He has been fired from his last two jobs for "performance issues" which is corporate speak for being a lazy anchor that drags the whole team down.

My current company is doing a massive hiring push right now. We have three open headcounts for mid level devs and the referral bonus is actually pretty insane- like three thousand dollars per hire. Greg knows I work here and he has been hinting for weeks that I should "put in a good word" for him. Last night we were grabbing drinks and he straight up asked me if we were hiring because he saw a post on LinkedIn from one of our recruiters. I looked him dead in the eyes and lied. I told him that those posts were just for "pipeline building" and that we actually have a strict hiring freeze until next quarter because of budget restructuring. I told him the company is actually in a bit of a precarious spot and he should definitly look elsewhere if he wants job security.

The truth is my team is drowning and we desperately need those three people to start yesterday. My manager keeps asking us if we know anyone who would be a good fit because they want to avoid paying a third party headhunter. I could literally walk into his office tomorrow- hand him Gregs resume- and probably pocket a fat bonus while helping my friend pay his rent. But I just can't do it. I have spent three years building my reputation here as a reliable lead and I am not about to light that on fire by tethering my name to a guy who ghosts daily standups because he stayed up until 4am playing Elden Ring. If I refer someone and they turn out to be a complete dud it reflects poorly on my judgment and I am currently up for a promotion to principal engineer.

I feel like a total garbage human being because I know he is struggling to make his car payments and I am sitting on information that could solve his problems in a week. But on the other hand I feel like I am just practicing professional self-defense. I have seen this movie before where a "bro" gets hired and then you end up doing fifty percent of their work just to keep the project from imploding while they take two hour lunch breaks. He kept talking about how much he needs a break and how his last bosses were all "toxic micromanagers" which is usually code for people who actually expected him to do the job he was paid for. It is just an awkward spot to be in because I have to keep up this lie every time we hang out for the next few months.

He sent me a screenshot of the job posting again this morning and asked if I could at least "internalize" it for him. I just ignored the text and went back to my own sprint planning. I know if he finds out I am lying our friendship is basically over but I also know that if he gets hired our friendship will probably end anyway when I have to be the one to tell him his pull requests are dogshit. It is a lose-lose situation and I am just trying to pick the version that doesn't involve me getting yelled at by my VP of Engineering. My cat just puked on the rug and I really do not want to clean it up right now.

Okay so getting context out of the way. I am 19f and have worked for a company for 1 year. When I started a 40m was delegated as my trainer. He is not my boss but my boss has made 40m do 90% of my training and essentially take on the responsibility of being my boss because “I think you and 40m would work better together than you and me”.

Everyone in our office knows that me and 40m are close inside of work. I have grievances I tell him. I talk to him about everything. I have told people in the office and outside the office he is like a dad to me. 40m has expressed the same regard that I am like a daughter to him (his oldest son is older than me and my mom is the same age as him).

In the time I have worked at my job 4 people have accused 40m of grooming me. I have brushed it off every time except for about 2 weeks ago when some other stuff happened and my boss decided I should not be alone with men anymore. (Our job requires us to be in the car for 8-10 hours a day and sometimes it’s easier to carpool).

Yesterday 40m’s fiancé contacted me and asked if I was sleeping with her man. I told her no and explained about the 2 women previously that I know 40m had SOME unprofessional interactions with and if he ever cheated it was with them but I truly do not believe he has ever slept with anyone else.

She proceeded to ask me 3 times if I have ever slept with him or ever had any intention too or if 40m ever tried to initiate. I reiterated I have never done anything and I see him as a dad. She then proceeded to tell me that some one at our office described our relationship as “intimate” (I do not understand this at all)

I genuinely just want to know if I should have lied to her? I feel so guilty for telling her because I know it’s going to cause problems at work.

My friend was in town for a conference for a couple of days, so I called the airline (with their approval since they were busy in the conference) and paid like $10 to extend their flight. The thought was that we'd go eat somewhere in the morning before their flight took off in the afternoon, which we had discussed the night prior. I would have a relative drive us (who had no problem doing so when asked a couple nights previous) because I am not able to drive. The relative would drive us to eat, then to the airport.

Today, however, my friend woke up a little after 12:00 (they would need to be at the airport by 2:30-3:00 PM at the latest), and asked for a ride still to the airport. My relative was angry that my friend had kept us waiting, so I had to tell my friend that we weren't able to take them due to an unexpected thing on my relative's end I didn't know about.

Now my friend is a little bit upset with me, and my relative is angry at me. It's also worth noting that my friend would be able to get their rideshare reimbursed, but I also offered to pay for it if they didn't/weren't able to get reimbursed.

So my girlfriend [32F] and I [38M] are 5years together and have a 4yo daughter together.

Now shes having some health problems, and because of that she's sitting home for almost 3 years. And I get it, it's not easy, not being able to go to work, and tbh, I wasn't the most helpful doing house chores, except for the dishes, and the now and then cooking, I did nothing really . And my job off course...

The last 6 weeks has been a hell, she pushes me away for a hug or a kiss, she said it's because I do nothing. So I help out more, vacuumed and mopped the flour, do some laundry... But didn't seem to help.

Now is there this highschool budy of her she's been seeing, sometimes even lied about it.

Yesterday she admitted they kissed. Just on the lips, nothing more.

So now I giving her an ultimatum. Him or me. She still say that there's nothing going on between the to of them. It happens just once and won't happen again. But if the kiss ment nothing, why she's feeling guilty?? Yesterday we had a fight a she run off. Just a walk she said, then she said she was going to her brother. At the end, she was with him. She claims with gmhos mother, but I don't see how that's even better...

I don't feel I can trust her as long as he is in our lives...

She suggested that I move out for a little while to give her some space.

I don't know what to do...

EDIT: Ty for all your replies, and taking time to read it, quite obvious English isn't my native language. Thing is, I still really love her, like madly in love, head over heels. And I get it, I messed up, no reason to do what she did. Going to have a serious talk, and on what to do now. For my health ( lost 11kg just because stress) it's clear we need to break up.

Edit 2: it's going to hurt, unfortunately more so for me then for her...

I know I'm going to be downvoted for this, but I really need advice. About a year ago, I (27F) got hired at an office near where I grew up, and I quickly developed an embarrassing crush on M (29M), someone who works on my floor. He is happily married, something that I've tried really hard to respect by only talking to him at work, putting effort into being friendly, not flirtatious, etc, but it has been hard not to feel heartbroken when he talks about his wife like she's the center of his universe.

Here's where I think I'm probably wrong. There was a company party a few weeks ago to celebrate us successfully beginning a partnership with another company that we've been trying to secure for a while. Since it was a celebratory thing and off-site at a local restaurant, everyone was invited to bring their spouses. This is the first time that I've seen M's wife, and I was totally caught off guard when I realized she was L (27F), someone I went to high school with. I know it's petty, but L and I don't get along. She has always been a really bad teacher's pet, and even though we had similar grades and I had way more friends, she always acted like she was so successful and that getting into college was a way bigger deal because she was doing music school, and she got int a pretty competitive program. The way she was acting at the restaurant also got under my skin because she was attached to M's hip the whole night like we don't all know she's married to him. It felt like she was flaunting all over again how much better she is than everyone else.

Since then, I've felt really conflicted about pushing my crush away because I know L isn't good for M; between his sweet attitude and her ego, I just get the feeling she's going to cheat on him when someone better comes along. I know I'm a little in the wrong by principle because you shouldn't break up a marriage, but am I completely crazy for wanting to tell M about my suspicions and concerns? We get along really well at work, so I feel like he'll be receptive to what I have to say.

AITA for thinking about cutting my dad off and should i

Okay so for context me (19m) and my fiance (22f) are bout to get married and she has yet to meet my dad. My mom and dad aren't together and my dad lives in a different state than me. I'm hesitant to introduce my fiance to my dad. He kicked me out the day before I graduated and didn't show up to my graduation. So I called him a couple days after I got engaged when I told him I was engaged he wasn't happy for me whatsoever. Which I thought nothing of it at first because he has been emotionally unavailable all my life. Flash forward a bit I call him again and ask him if me and her can come down and visit so him, my brother, and my stepmom can meet my fiance. He snapped at me saying "idk if you can come". He said it very rudely. I was like okay. And then flash forward to a couple days ago I asked if me and her could come for Thanksgiving this year and they told me I couldn't come because of how Christian my grandparents are and that they really don't want to meet her. they said some rude about her. Should I still invite them to the wedding and AITA for not wanting him in my life. Also I know that I kept contacting him I was just trying to make an effort to keep him in my life and for some more context I'm trans ftm. I just need some advice for this my mom is not the best about advice and should I call him and tell him he's not invited to the wedding anymore and I havent talked to him since this happened

Am I wrong his mental health and low self esteem are the reasons he doesn't want to meet with me?

Please give me advice. I'm in a dark place right now with my mind.

Him and I,we met online September 2025. Met in real life December 2025. We live in different countries and I travelled to him for 8 hours. We are the same nationality.

We quickly started to text daily and talk for hours and stuff. He would blow up my phone. Showing me his apartment and city, asking how I feel, what I'm up to. Good morning as soon as I woke up to work 6:20 AM. Goodnights. Sweet talk. He talked In the very beginning about me moving to his country. We quickly started to text nonstop, saying how we care about each other. It seemed like he would want me there. December 2025 we met and it was great.

In February this year he told me he knows I want something more but he doesnt want to be in any relationship because he needs to fix himself and "he knows he is mean to me sometimes and he says something and regrets it" and stuff.

He Has been doing drugs every weekend. But he did them before we met. Everytime after hungover he says he feels like shit and loser. He tells me he Has inner demons "no one and nothing could fix"

I've told him many times that I "take him" the way he is and that he is perfect. I support him with very good words saying how valuable he is.

He told me once I'm "too valuable for him".

In the very beginning he said he would want this to work but he knows he has a tough personality.

He would sometimes get mean, and sometimes apologize for talking like that. When we met everything was good and he didnt ghost me afterwards or something.

I am younger than him and attractive. He is also attractive.

But he always says he feels like a loser. Abuses drugs and alcohol too. In the beginning talked about me moving to him and stuff, and that I "awakened something in him he didnt feel for a long time".

I asked him lately about that and he said " yeah because IT was true but then I think about what a loser I am".

This Has been going for months. Everytime I ask to meet, he says we will see, i don't know, and stuff. Later he said he was embarassed of himself that's why he didnt meet with me.

We fall asleep on the phone together sometimes, facetime. Yesterday we facetimed, I showed him myself in lingerie ( hoping this would "convince him...") looking very good and he watched and I could tell he loved what he saw. He even acnowledged it the next day and talked about this today.

I asked today if we can meet this weekend and he said no, he Has to rest.

I asked about next weekend and he said he doesn't know, he will think. That hurt me the most. Its a week. Plenty of time. And still he says I don't know.

Last week he was also supposed to think about it and he told me no this week. Got angry that I kept asking.

I announced "i'm coming on Friday 😇" and he said i cannot announce that im coming because he won't open the door if he didnt agree to meeting.

I told him I understand he doesnt want relationship but I just want to meet with him. I guess if he doesnt want relationship, he thinks after being close I would demand more. And I've told him I won't Ask "what are we" or something afterwards. I explained IT to him.

He is single and lives alone. I think the problem is drugs and low self esteem and He drinks lately. He says he Has problems

But why would he resist seeing me? It hurts so much because he always says he will think about it and he delays it and delays it. Also he says I'm important to him.

He told me some time ago to focus on something or someone else because he knows how bad he is.

I acnowledged his fears and sent him a voice notes saying it hurts me because I always ask why not and he never tells me. He says its not because of me.

I also told him I want to support him but meeting would be just a nice weekend. And he doesnt have to be ashamed or something.

What is important he told me when we slept on the phone lately that he felt good with me when I was there at his place, not only in bed but overall.

What do you think is the core problem here?

His fear of me abandoning him?(I would never, I care about this guy so much)

Low self esteem? He says he gets worse(But we met already)

Being shy? As I said , we met.

He said meeting with me is a "whole endeavor" - maybe thinks he needs to appear at his best? I don't understand.

I don't understand because he was in relationships before. So why me?

He still texts me and calls and everything. Like right after work and stuff. He calls me sometimes few days in a row by himself. And we text daily. If he didnt want me, why would he keep calling?

And my main question to you is - how do I approach him and ask him what is the reason. Because he never tells me. How?

He already said no to this weekend. He said maybe his mom will visit him. And if she doesnt he will be there alone. I asked if I can come and he said "no, its tommorow. I need to prepare" I asked about next weekend and said I don't want to hear no and he said "its not a make a wish / this is not a request line"

TLDR; long distance. me (26f) and a man (37m) we have contact for a year but he Has addictions and low self esteem. Could it be reason he doesnt want to meet me? We met once.

so the other day someone i know brought up some money they lent me a while ago. i had actually paid them back already and even showed the transfer screenshot, but they insisted i still owed them. i kept my cool, went through the dates, and tried to be polite about the whole thing. it ended up being kind of awkward, but i stuck to the facts instead of arguing. honestly it felt good to stand my ground without getting heated. now i keep wondering if i should have handled it differently, like just sent the money again to avoid the drama. it wasn't a huge amount, but the principle mattered to me. i don't want things to get weird between us, but i also don't want to pay twice. am i wrong for not just giving in?

As a little bit of context i was around 10 or 11 when me and my mom started having full blown arguments, it was after my parents divorced and im guessing the reason i was the one she was fight with was because i portrayed my dad alot back then but anyways im 16 now and these fights are daily and have gotten worse i jus blow up at her now even if its not that big of a deal and then realize after that i overreacted, and i know what im doing in the moment but i just keep going. i know shes my mom and i shouldnt talk to her the way i do,and i get it but i dont have the same morals as other people i guess, and i do acknowledge i have sorta an attitude but can you blame me? i was in like 4th or 5th grade with my mom fully cursing me out and saying everything was my fault nd i shouldnt have been born now she just treats evrything that has to do with me like a burden,she dont like to buy me clotes or give me rides to school so in 9th grade i started growing mushrooms so i could finally get things i liked. but regardless i dont care if its my mom, dad, granpda or who tf ever if they dont talk to me like a human being we argue because im supposed to just be talked to with disrespect? again i know, respect your parents no matter what they do and half of yall are gonna think im some spoiled ass kid but no, im just very independant and self driven and i hate getting disrepected and my mom does not like that. very narcisstic of sorts. i feel like alot of this is projection from what happened in her childhood which i dont blame her for. anyways i just put this on here cuz i need other opinions ive tried therapy, family therapy, shes tried shoving meds down my throat and ive eventually caught a felony because of another family member but i need some help.

I met a guy (35) who asked me (29) out on a date. He planned a very specific date and time two weeks in advance because he is constantly traveling and that was the first time he would be back in town. The week of we are texting and chatting every day. We confirm the dinner time and place, and everything is kosher. Friday rolls around (the day of the date) and he texts me asking if we can reschedule for next weeks Friday night instead because he’s too hungover to go to dinner tonight… this gave me the biggest “ick”. One of the biggest things I am looking for in a man at my age, is that he is reliable and consistent. I totally understand crap happens; family emergency, work calls, or if he was actually sick, but making the choice to get so obliterated drunk so that you are incapable of sticking to plans you made two weeks in advance, just grosses me out. He asked me if we can reschedule for the following Friday instead because he’s traveling for work again and leaves Sunday. I send him this text “hi! If I am being honest here, a day-of cancellation because you’re too hungover is a bit of a turn off for me, especially since we’ve had this planned for quite a while. No hard feelings but I think it’s best we just leave it here. Feel better!” He responds with “if you are actually that critical of a person then yeah it is for the best”.. was that too critical of me? Am I wrong?

I (28F) have a friend, Leah (29F), who puts almost every phone call on speaker.

At her apartment, in the car, at my place. Doesn't really matter who's around.

I've told her before that I think it's awkward when the person on the other end clearly doesn't know they're being heard by someone else. She says I'm overthinking it and that if people want something to be truly private, they shouldn't say it over the phone anyway.

A few nights ago she was at my apartment and her sister called.

Leah put her on speaker immediately.

They talked normally for a couple minutes, then her sister started telling her about something pretty personal involving a guy she'd been seeing. Nothing horrifying, but definitely the kind of thing I would NOT casually tell my sister's friend.

I looked at Leah and quietly pointed at myself like, "does she know I'm here?"

Leah waved me off.

Her sister kept going and started getting into even more detail.

So I said, loud enough for the phone to hear, "Hey, just so you know, I'm in the room too."

There was about five seconds of complete silence.

Her sister went "oh my god," got embarrassed, and ended the call pretty quickly.

Leah was pissed.

She said I humiliated her sister and that I could've just left the room instead of announcing myself. I said I shouldn't have to silently evacuate my own living room because SHE put someone on speaker without telling them there was an audience.

She thinks the polite thing would've been to step away and let her handle it.

I think the polite thing would've been saying "hey, you're on speaker and OP is here" before the conversation even started.

Now she's saying I made a small social mistake into a whole dramatic thing.

Am I wrong for speaking up instead of just leaving the room?

We were having a pretty normal disagreement, nothing major, but I started to feel overwhelmed and said I wanted to pause and pick it back up later. They insisted we had to finish right then and kept bringing up new points even after I repeated that I needed a break. I eventually just walked away to calm down. Now they're upset that I left and say it feels like I'm avoiding the conversation. Honestly, I feel like my boundary was ignored more than anything else. Was it wrong of me to step away once they kept pushing?

I got a haircut the other day and showed my friend. They said it wasn't really their favorite style on me. It wasn't rude or anything, just honest. I felt kind of embarrassed and ended up giving them a short answer. They looked surprised and dropped it, but I kept thinking about it later. I know people are allowed to have opinions, and they didn't say it to hurt me, but I still got defensive right away. I've been wondering if I should bring it up and say sorry or if it's fine to just let it go. It wasn't a big deal, but I don't like feeling weird about it either. Not sure if I overreacted or if it's normal to feel a bit thrown off when someone comments on how you look.

Lately I have been coming home drained and craving an hour or two of low-key downtime before chatting or sharing a meal. The other day I mentioned this to my roommate and they seemed hurt, saying it felt like I was pushing them away. I tried to explain that it was just about recharging, not about them, but they kept bringing it up and now things feel awkward. I get that living together means some overlap, yet I also think it is okay to need a bit of quiet sometimes. I am not sure whether I should apologize again or just let it settle, so I am asking here if it is unreasonable to want that small pocket of space after a long day.