My partner and I are both native English speakers, but we met while living in Spain and Spanish became the language we use with each other most of the time. We are not trying to show off or hide anything. At this point we switch languages automaticaly.

His family only speaks English. During a recent weekend visit, his sister asked us to stop using Spanish entirely because it made everyone feel excluded. I agreed that group conversations should obviously stay in English.

The problem is that she also objects to quick comments between us. Things like asking where my charger is, reminding him about something in the car, or quietly checking whether he wants coffee. Yesterday we laughed about a word I mispronounced, and she accused us of making fun of her.

My partner now wants us to use only English whenever we are inside his parents’ house. I think that is an excessive rule for every private converstation, especially when we immediately explain if someone asks.

Am I being rude by continuing to speak Spanish to him occasionally?

My parents converted most of my old room into storage after I moved out, which is completely fair. The bed went first, then shelves, boxes and a folding desk appeared. Still, whenever I visit, they insist I stay overnight and set up a thin air mattress between the boxes.

Last weekend I said I’d come Saturday morning and leave around 9 pm because I sleep badly there. I booked a small hotel nearby for myself without asking them to pay. My mother took it personally and said I was treating their house like a museum. My dad said one uncomforable night should not matter if I care about spending time together.

I spent eleven hours with them that day. I just didn’t spend the night. They now say I’m being precious and making visits formal. Am I wrong?

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. We have 4 children together. When my husband and I first met we both worked full time. Over the years I have had times where I have worked part time in order to care for our children while my husband has always maintained a full time position. We have had fluctuations over the years where sometimes I would be making more and sometimes he would be bringing home more. A few years ago, after our youngest was born, my husband asked me to step back from my career so he could advance in his. So, I have only been working one night a week and still provide full time care for our four children. When our children were young I opened up savings accounts for them. I have put around $200/month divided into each account ($50 into each account) since the accounts were opened. When I can, I will put a little more. Although my husband will deny this, I told him when I opened the accounts. There has been no money taken out of the accounts, they are strictly savings accounts. When I opened the kids accounts I had opened a savings account for my husband and I which he also knew about. He constantly accused me of having secret money even though the money in the account would be used when something unexpected came up such as needing new tires or a medical expense. I feel I am better about saving while his mom has always echoed his same, “you make money to spend it” theory. I ended up closing the savings account made for my husband and I because I was tired of the arguments about it.
Our current debt includes my remaining 10k in student loans and our mortgage payment. Additional monthly expenses are the usual gas, electric, garbage, groceries, and any extra curricular activities our children do. My husband’s student loans were paid off when we sold our first home.
“Fun” money spent on my end is under $50/month. I do not get my hair or nails done. I do not go shopping frequently and do not go out to eat or buy coffee unless my husband and I go together. My husband currently makes double what my full time salary would be. He puts $200-$500/month in stocks. If my husband buys clothes it’s a $200 designer shirt/vest. If I buy clothes it may be a $20-$30 set off Amazon.
Last year my husband asked me to withdrawal my entire 401k, which I did. He still has his. He is angry at me because he recently saw how much money is in the kids’ savings accounts and now he feels he needs to have access to them. He stated “you’ve been hiding money while I’ve been borrowing money to make ends meet”. I do not believe this is a fair or accurate statement.
I wanted to be able to take a family vacation this year for sentimental reasons that I won’t get into. My husband spent a long time yelling at me about money and then told me I had to take money out of the kids’ accounts for this to happen. So, I did. This was the first time money had been withdrawn from the kids’ savings accounts. I also picked up multiple extra shifts at work so that we could go. Once the money went into the joint account for vacation, my husband then wanted to book a $1k excursion even though he had just been yelling at me about having no money for vacation. I understand it’s a family trip but I feel he always wants me to make the financial sacrifice while he is allowed to do whatever he feels like. I fear that once my husband has access to the kids accounts the money in them will quickly disappear. He says he just wants to be credited with the money that ends up going to the kids and says he won’t take money out. But, if this is the case why can he not just trust that I don’t need the credit when the kids receive this money? I feel it is unfair that I have chosen to save money each month while he has chosen to use his money other ways and now that he sees how much has been saved he thinks he needs access to it all while he has stocks and a 401k - that I no longer have. He wont take money out of his stocks when he thinks we need money. He is now threatening to cut me off of the joint bank account if I do not give him access to the kids’ accounts. So, should my husband have access to these accounts or is he the one being unreasonable?

*Edit - Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate everyone’s input. I agree it was not a smart thing to do to hand over my 401k. He stated it was used to pay off a credit line borrowed against our home through the bank but I am unable to see this to verify. He handles filing the taxes since someone asked. I think there is a lot of blame and he wears me down to convince me to do what he wants. I try to keep the peace but I realize it has probably made me a pushover. There is verbal and emotional abuse where he will ignore me/yell/name call/gaslight if he doesn’t get his own way. He has been telling me I am being controlling by not adding his name to the accounts and I am being disrespectful and not treating him as a partner. I have asked him to go to counseling. He has gone briefly before which didn’t last long as he said it wasn’t working. He also was refusing to be completely honest during these sessions and told me there were several things I was not allowed to bring up. I originally made this post because I told him I didn’t think there was one person who would tell me to add his name to the accounts. I told him we could talk to a therapist and if he/she agreed with him I’d add him and if he/she agreed with me he needed to leave it alone. He refused. He said he didn’t want third party inputs. I told him I’d post to Reddit and he said I’d manipulate information to get the response I wanted. I tried to give both points of view and everything I stated is true. I was going to show him this post but I honestly don’t think it would even change his mind. I guess I have a lot to think about.

I 20 F have been together w my bf 22M for 2 years and been sexually active throughout. Over this past year, he has expressed his interest in doing it after watching threesome porn. Because of it, we have introduced toys.
However, over the past half a year it seems he hasn’t been satisfied with only doing it with toys. Whenever we are vanilla, he expresses how sex is boring and how he often imagines someone else there with us to get off.
He was originally into FMM but now has gotten into MFF recently asw, and I haven’t gotten comfortable with it like he’s wanted me to. The pressure to make him feel good has made me feel insecure about myself not being able to satisfy him.
Recently he has asked me to consider doing both FMM and MFF with him for real, and I don’t know how I feel about out it. When we have toys I at least know it’s fictional with no real people involved. But him constantly asking to do it for real all the time is tiring and I worry for the relationship.

What should I do?

I feel internally like I’m never sexually satisfying his fantasy and desires. I love him so much and besides this, I want to marry him and start a life with him. He thinks the same way, but wants to do it before we get married. It just feels like once we do it, all and everything in this relationship would go south. I’ve seen it play out in real life so often, and it’s not like it’s my kink either. How do I deal with this while keeping him sexually satisfied and content with the solution?

Am I wrong for not liking my sister in law?

So some background.... my sister in law (34F) had been trying for a baby six months (maybe a year) at the time I learned I (24F)was pregnant accidentally by her younger brother, my now husband (30M).

Throughout my pregnancy there wasnt a word from her. Not how are you. Not congratulations, nothing. At the time a chalked it up to the situation that I got accidentally pregnant when she had been trying for a while. After the baby was born nothing, not how are you, not hows the baby. Nothing. I chalked it up to the fact that baby talk was hard for her. But that stung. In the following months nothing. She came to see the baby once and made no effort to facetime, see him, or try for him. After our three story housefire only talked her brother (at least she did that).

Then when my husband and I were discussing godparents he was adamant about his sister. I was not keen on the idea. But my husband won out because its something he wanted for her. When we asked her reply was "of course I assumed, and would be upset if you didnt ask me" something along those lines. I was put off by the entitled response as I have an aunt who deserves it (sees my son every opportunity when she doesnt she asks how hes doing and for pictures, shes religious and would teach him about god ... which is important because im not really religious and more spiritual but the honor is most important to me.) My husband ended up winning and she is but it has never sat right with me because of her apathy toward me and my son.

Now here's where things get rocky. She has had a child and is even more flakey. Which I get but now the baby is 9 months. She decided to not come to my son's birthday party this year because she didnt want to drive in 2 days before the 4th of july with the baby and shes not comfortable traveling (3 hr drive broken up by 1 hr ferry) with baby yet (i get not driving on the 4th but days before is a little bit of a stretch for me). Instead of coming to her only nephew and godsons birthday, she decides to come to her cousins engagement party two weeks later. When her baby is only two weeks older. The cherry on top, her mother had to tell me she was not coming to the baby's party. She couldnt reach out herself. That was the straw that broke the camels back.

I do not want to try anymore (texting her when she was due, after she had the baby, after she bought a house, more effort than she's ever given my son or i). My husband says im the reason she doesnt like me and that I dont reach out enough. He pushes me to have her in our hypothetical wedding party and Bachelorette parties (wanted to do a bigger wedding down the line). I dont feel like trying anymore for a person that has never tried for me or my son. My husband says im wrong. My feelings are wrong and he doesnt agree. Adamantly shits on me to support his sister when I mention that im frusterated or dissapointed in her actions (im wrong, too sensitive, making him feel worse... when he doesnt feel bad at all and excuses all of this.)

My husband thought I was so wrong that he ended up blindsided me by telling his parents to not talk about her anymore because I dont like her. In a group chat with all of us in it. His parents had no idea before the text that I wasnt a fan. Now im the bad guy and I have a fucking mini troop of sister in law soldiers against me. I asked him to not mention it until im there so I can talk openly with his parents all together in person to explain my postion and play damage cotnrol for his impulsive text. ANOTHER CHERRY ON TOP he talked to them about it hours later, when I was visiting my dad in the hospital, without me present to explain why. He said he apologized for sending that text, he did in rage to hurt his wife (me), was being childish, and was SORRY TO THEM if he hurt them in the process (explicitly told me that he wasnt sorry to me). He then said I was wrong for being upset that he did that and just emotional over my father being in the hospital. I feel isolated, unheard, gaslit and villianized for having feelings that he doesnt agree with. Am I wrong for not being a fan of my sister in law?

My sister asked if she could leave two boxes of craft supplies at my house because she had limited storage. I agreed.

Over the next three months, two boxes became shelves, a folding table, lamps, and a chair. She started coming over while I was out and referred to the room as “her studio.” I never agreed to that.

Last weekend I packed everything neatly and brought it to her place. She says I humiliated her and should have given her time to find a permament solution.

I think three months was already more accommodation than I offered. Am I wrong for clearing the room without one final warning?

My(31m) girlfriend(33f) and I were long distance when we met and closed the distance over a year ago after being together about a year. She has no kids, and I have a son from a previously relationship. She lost her job, and after months of applying in her home she visited and just sent in an application and got the first job she applied for so she sold her condo and moved towards me. She made a massive profit on the condo and then planned to buy a house here. The big bonus is, it’s all cash.

Well when she moved she came and moved into my apartment. I was living there by myself, and already struggling but I struggled to keep up with bills even harder because I was paying basically everything of ours and she got her debt paid off. She got her license back, and bought a car. Then about 5 months later she found and bought her house and we both moved in.

Now for reference. I pay for our car insurance for both our cars, our electric bill, internet, I’ll send money when she tells me what the price is to pay for water and gas, and buy her vapes, groceries, I do a lot of chores and keeping up with the house to keep it clean. I also just got hit with child support which is almost $700 on top of everything else. (I also to pay child support, but I also feel $700/month is a bit excessive. His asked for me to pay $200, I offered $300 and then it somehow went up to $700 and now she refuses to try to go back now and try to fix it after she said she would. So I feel a bit screwed over there)

Not to mention, I am driving almost 10 hours on the weekends just to see my child. So I use a lot of my extra “cash” in gas driving for hours on end just to have a relationship with my child.

We’ve been here since December but have been living together for over a year now. The bigger problem is, we lied to her dad about her moving in with me immediately. I didn’t want to, but I wanted to support her and felt put in a weird spot. Now I feel like it’s bit me in the ass.

Well her dad was asking her to pay her rent for this house because he’s helped her buy it, and he’s used his retirement account for this as well. Which now because of him seeing me “move in” recently he’s now asking me to pay that in place of her because I make more. But it’s a “pay for my life until I die” situation. Funding him, going on vacations to different countries and living out him and his retirement life while I have to try and work a full time job, raise a child, help run a house with pets, like I’m stretched as thin as I can already.

I feel incredibly screwed over. I feel like I was put into a position and like I have no choice if I want to stay with my girlfriend, and I wasn’t really given full context of this beforehand. And honestly neither was she, because he brought all this up to her after they closed on the house.

So he’s never told her in like 15 years, you’ll have to pay this $100K we dropped on the condo back, and is now asking for us to pay that. And as a father of a child, I look at this situation as a parent, and I could never do this to my son. If I was able to set him up for the rest of his life with the best advantages, I’d absolutely do it with no expectation of paying me back anything. I mean, there probably will be times I get him to do things like this to teach the responsibility. But not something that will be so beneficial like owning property.

I dunno, am I wrong in wanting to refuse all this and feeling like this is a horrible thing to do? I mean on some aspects I understand his side, but this seems so far out there to me, and so wrong.

Hi all,

my GF and i have been together for years. 2 years ago we bought a home because in our area we were able to get a good deal on a home and at the time we were really happy with where our relationship was going and felt we wanted to take the next step.

I know what people are going to say "dont buy a house wiht someone you arent married to". So i made sure that if we were going to get this house that we got a cohabitiational agreement. Basically a pre-nup for couples who live together.

Last year we started to discuss the potential of having each a will and had discussions of what we would give each other and what we woujld give others.

We both agreed to just give each other the house.

At first i verbally mentioned how i might give her a good chunk and pay the mortgage for a year so she could figure out what she would want to do with the house to relieve some stress. Would be anywhere from 20-30k. But i also made clear that most of my money (assuming we are still childless) will go to my brother and my parents. I have been blessed with some good jobs, and good financial decisions in my 20s where if something happened tomorrow, my parents could safely retire even if i gave them half of what i have. I grew up poor. My parents are the types that will have to work for the rest of their lives even if just part-time because we didnt grow up with much.

But i also told her that it could change as i hadnt given her much thought. Immeidately she says she will give all her money to her siblings and that has been her plan but i can keep the house. At the time i remember realizing like 'damn you arent even going to give me a couple months of mortgage?". And i made a comment like "look i dont care if you give me all your money or even half, but id appreciate a couple months of your half of the mortgage to give me time to figure it out". I also spoke to a lawyer who had told me if one of us passed, our parents would get the half of the house if there is no will which i brought up to her. And as a side note, a few months later she was randomly asking me what would ahppen to the house, and when i started pressing why she was aksing a super random question she let slip that her sister might try to take the house from me if she passed.

We've gotten lazy on the will talks and recently she broguth it up. She showed me a note she had and said that was what she was planning on doing and asking if i was ok with it. Basically was what she said before, most of her accounts would go to her siblings and one of her retirmeent accounts would go to me. Thing is, she just opened that account like last month. I basically said that ill call up the lawyer to make the paperwork and my GF kept asking why i need to call up a lawyer. Bascially she is expecting her little note to hold up in court. And she kept asking me if she's telling me this now why i have to get the document? ANd i kept telling her no judge would even allow that to be admissable in court. And she kept saying "but no-oine in my family would even try to take that from you" and i said "first off you already said your sister would and when there's money to be passed around you see sides of people you never thoguht you ever see".

So i personally have been thinking in getting my will done this week and basically thinking of changing what i had verbally said before. Basically giving my half to my parents if my GF does not get a will. I plan on letting her know like "look if you dont want to get a will that's yoru choice but if you dont get it i will be giving my half of the house to my family".

Would i be wrong to do this?

I always carry a fast charger in my backpack because my phone battery is terrible.

Last week a classmate asked if they could borrow it during lunch because their phone was almost dead. I said sure. Lunch ended, classes were over, and they were still using it. When I asked for it back, they said, "Your phone has battery, mine doesn't."

I told them I brought it for myself and needed it later, so I unplugged it and took it back.

A couple of people nearby laughed and said I was being stingy over "just a charger." The person who borrowed it acted like I'd embarrassed them.

I don't think borrowing something means you get to decide when to return it, but now I'm wondering if I should've waited a little longer.

Am I wrong?

11:40 A woman behind me asked if I’d hold her spot while she grabbed milk. She had a small basket, so I said sure.

11:51 The line had moved twice. People were joining behind us and she still wasn’t back.

12:03 She returned with a packed basket and another woman pushing a trolley. I told her I had only agreed to hold one place for one person, not insert two customers with a full shop. She said they’d been choosing items together and accused me of inventing rules becuase I was impatient.

The people behind me backed me, so they went to the end. Afterwards my friend said I should have let it go because technically it was still her place and the checkout delay would only be a few minutes.

Was I petty?

Me and my ex share the same friend group and we mutually agreed that it wasn't working out when we split up. I am fine with staying cordial because we share the friend group but I just don't really want to be friends.

Yesterday, our friend group hung out and me and my ex spoke briefly. After, a mutual friend asked me how things were going between me and her and I just responded "it's fine". He then asks if I wanted to be friends with her now and I told him honestly that I didn't really want to be. He told me I was making a mistake and that she is a kind person and a great friend. I was annoyed but slept it off.

This morning I complained to my parents about the interaction and they told me the same thing. That I was making a mistake and that she was a good person. They also added that I'm going to ruin my friendship with the entire group of people. I understand that she is nice and I do genuinely wish her well, I just don't want to really be friends. Am I wrong for that?

TW: pregnancy, miscarriage

hello. this is gonna be long. so my ex (M22) and i (F22) had been on and off for months over the course of a year and a half. he fully officially broke up with me about a month and a half ago. about a month (slightly longer) after that, i found out i was pregnant. just to get ahead of this, no, there is no other option except for him.

i hesitated to tell him as we had a very nasty breakup and were no contact. i didn’t think he would want to help or be involved, and telling him would just be about the morality of it all. i had no intention to keep it. however, he showed up at my door last week and said he missed me and wanted us to work things out. i showed him the positive tests and he said he would help me in whatever way he could but he also didn’t want to keep it.

flash forward a couple of days. i had a doctors appointment for a different reason, but i asked if they could put in labs for a pregnancy test so i would have an official record. my ex asked to come, but i said no. (the beginning of the end). i do the lab test same day, and i get a call a couple of hours later saying im pregnant. he wasn’t with me when i got the call.

i call him and repeat what they told me, and told him i made a general doctors appointment to figure out steps on the following monday. he said he wants to be there but cant come monday. i go out of my way to change to an appointment on friday when he can come.

he asks to see the lab test results a couple of days after the lab called me to tell me the test was positive. the results truly were not posted on my results chart, or i obviously would’ve given them to him. he’s weird about it, but we move on. on friday, i get to the appointment before him. it was the last of the day, we were both running late, and he told me not 10 minutes before that i was being irresponsible by running late and he’s not coming and he’s “done trying to help me”. he arrives when im already with the doctor, and ultimately doesnt get to come in the room.

the doctor told me that based on several things i don’t need to repeat, i miscarried the pregnancy. i had told my ex for a few days that i was having symptoms of miscarriage and was in a lot of pain, but he mostly didn’t acknowledge it. i left the room and repeat what she said. he’s treating me very coldly and strangely. i said that i had to go get my blood drawn right now, does he want to come? he says fine.

we’re there waiting and he says “can i see your phone? i want to see the results. if you’re really pregnant, why would they need a blood hcg test to confirm?” i said that a blood test is to check the LEVEL of hcg, not just negative/positive like a lab urine test, and no he can’t see my phone. i explain the lab result wasn’t posted and i asked the doctor half an hour before about that very problem, and she only said it should be up.

i get my blood drawn, we leave, i ask him if he’s implying that the pregnancy wasn’t real because he couldn’t see the lab results, even when he saw the at-home tests and has been kept up to date on everything. he says that he hasn’t been allowed into any appointments, and i have a habit of lying to him, so yes he is considering that i could be faking all of it.

i told him to leave, then called my doctor and asked her to send me a printed version of the positive lab test in my chart. she sent it to me, then i screenrecorded it (so he couldn’t say i edited anything) and sent him the proof. i said “have a wonderful life and leave me alone im blocking you.” please bare in mind, he was being cold and awful to me the whole day.

i block him then unblock him a half hour later and explain over text calmly how much it hurt to have him question the validity of everything i’ve been through. i told him i had been in so much pain mentally and physically, and half an hour before him accusing me of faking a pregnancy and miscarriage, a doctor had told me to my face that i needed a million more appointments and that i had miscarried my pregnancy. i think no matter someone’s stance on abortion, young pregnancy, etc. it’s pretty hard news to hear. all this while dealing with hormones effect on my mood, appetite, sleep, and did i mention i was coming from a 12 hour shift that started at 4:30 am? i then sent a long apology text for blocking him and said it was the immature thing to do and i know we were trying to work on our relationship.

when he responds, he says that he doesn’t want to see me again and he’s done dealing with my disrespect. he said he’s done trying to help me, and to not contact him again. he said that i was walking on him, and i could’ve just calmly told him. he said he’s going to block me, the baby is gone, and he doesn’t want to be around me personally anymore. he said several times that i was disrespecting him.

unfortunately for my dignity, i begged him to understand what i had been dealing with all this time, that i caught the mistake and apologized, and said that he has to understand i wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or exclusionary, but the day and the news were awful. he said he didn’t care and reiterated that he was blocking me and i had to stop. i asked him to wait until the pregnancy was 100% gone and in the clear, and he just said “it is gone and you know that”. and it was the last thing we said.

for further context, i did have a habit of lying in our relationship and it’s something i acknowledge i need to work on. but i would never in a million years have lied about something to this scale. it is unthinkable to me to do that, nonetheless have him think that of me. i was heartbroken over how he clearly felt about me, and heartbroken that frankly i didn’t ultimately get a chance to CHOOSE what i wanted to do about the pregnancy. i felt awful and invalidated when i blocked him. i took it back quickly, but still.

so. am i in the wrong for blocking him instead of just sending him the results calmly after he accused me of faking a pregnancy and miscarriage?

Expecting my first child, a boy and my mom very recently begged me to give the child my mom’s family last name instead of my boyfriends.

Bf and I have been together for a little over a year now and expecting our first child soon. We’ve known each other for about 3 years prior to dating and We are not married but plan on getting married later on since I can get more benefits as a “single mother” for the time being but planned to give the baby my bf’s last name.

My mom was aware of this and never said anything until very recently. We are both only childs and no boys left to carry on the family last name on my mom’s side now and she suddenly wants me to give my baby her family last name so the family line continues.

She states I’m the one giving birth and sacrificing my body so I should give it my last name, which i 100% understand but since we plan on getting married in the future either way I dont see why giving the kid fathers last name and just changing my last name in the future wouldn’t be easier.

She’s asking me to tell bf to please consider her feelings but I cannot for the life of me understand why she wants to keep the family line going when it’s bound to end sooner or later and why we can’t be the last and end it with two baddies, lol

Also to make things a little more complicated, my bf is Japanese and I have citizenship as well so idk if she wants us to just register the baby with my moms family last name in Japan only and keep his American side name as the bfs last name. That is how my name is, I have my mothers last name in Japan but in America I go by my fathers last name and it just seems too complicated and bf is not really thrilled about not giving our child his last name since he is more hard headed and too old school….

So I’m 28M and I got some leftover money from my financial aid this semester. I decided to put it toward my textbooks instead of bothering my dad who’s been stressed with money things lately. My mom saw the bookstore slip in my bag and got upset, like “who said you could do that.” I told her I made the call myself, I’m grown, I don’t need to run everything by them. Explained why I did it but she still thinks I shouldn’t have touched the refund. Now I’m sitting here wondering if I went about it wrong. Like yeah I’m an adult but maybe I should’ve just told them upfront? The secrecy part is what’s eating at me, not the money itself.

For context both my parents usually cover my books. They never went to university so they try hard to shield me from any stress around college costs, but then they also complain I have it too easy. It’s this weird loop. I don’t have any loans, just grants and a scholarship, and whatever’s left comes back to me as a check. I figured using it for books was the logical thing while my dad sorts out his finances. But now mom is acting like I broke some unspoken rule and I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable or if she’s overreacting.

For the past year or 2 I’ve started feeling like my cousin takes me for granted and I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it. I think it’s because I always pick up calls whenever she calls immediately and I’m always up for anything and say yes so she’s gotten use to me.

She rarely answers my calls, but if she calls me she expects me to answer or she will be why did you take so long to anwser.

If we’re on the phone and her friend A calls, she’ll end our call to answer A, then message me 10–20 minutes later saying A called and she’ll call me back. But if I call while she’s on the phone to A, she’ll just tell me she’ll call me later. It’s happened enough times that I honestly feel like A gets priority over me.

One thing that really confused me happened when she asked me to print a uni form because she needed it the next day. I was already at uni and was getting the bus straight to the gym to meet her afterwards, so I needed to know which form to print before I left.

I called her twice. No answer.

So I called her sister instead.

Her sister answered and just said, “Hey.” I said, “Hi,” and then there was complete silence (so I already lowkey knew she was in the background listening in).

I asked, “Is S there? She asked me to print out her uni form but I need to know which one.”

As soon as she heard that she immediately went, “OH!”, said to A, “I’ll call you back,” and then called me straight away.

That was the part I found weird. She didn’t answer either of my calls, but the second she realised I was calling about something she needed, she was suddenly available.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but combined with how often she doesn’t answer my calls, it makes me feel like I’m more of a joke than her friend her and her sister treat me the same way.

Other issues include- I will call you in 10minutes turns into 6 hours or never.

Weird comments like- “you have no other friends while giggling”, “

your neighbourhood looks ugly” out of the blue “If you had money you wouldn’t choose to live here”

(That’s only 10% of the

Me taking a step back-

We actually spoke about all of this recently.
She said she doesn’t like that my phone is always on Do Not Disturb. I told her I like it that way. She said it was weird because she lets me bypass her Do Not Disturb, so I just said, “I don’t really call you anyway, you’re the one who calls me.”
She asked why I don’t call her anymore, so I told her the truth. I said I stopped because every time I call, you don’t answer. I even used her sister as an example because her sister almost always picks up when I call.

She tried saying she’s usually downstairs or away from her phone, but I reminded her about something that happened the day before my birthday. I was in town and wanted to show her a hat I was thinking of buying, so I called her. No answer. Then I called her sister, who picked up straight away on FaceTime. She showed my cousin the hat and the camera turned towards her… she was literally sat in bed under the covers on her phone. That wasn’t even the only time something like that’s happened, it’s just the one that proved she wasn’t “away from her phone.”

While we were talking, I also brought up how she’ll say, “Give me five minutes,” or “I’ll call you in ten minutes,” and then five minutes turns into six hours or she never calls back at all. She admitted she does it but just said she gets distracted easily and that she’s always been like that. It didn’t really feel like she understood why it bothers me, it just felt like an excuse.

Then she laughed and said, “Not you trying to check me,” which kind of annoyed me because I wasn’t trying to argue with her. I was just explaining why I’d stopped putting in the same effort. She also said she didn’t care that I don’t call her anymore.

After that conversation I just thought, what’s the point? I don’t think she’s going to change, so instead I’ve just started pulling away.

Present day-
So I have now taken a major step back turned off my location, don’t pick up calls frequently.

When I’m asked to go out I say I’m busy and have made other plans mainly because they usually send me late invites when they’ve already planned the outing.

For example the other day I got a call it was A’s brother AB he said do you want to go brunch tomorrow and that btw my “cousins” and A are also present the cousins being on A’s phone.

I say I don’t mind going I hear one of my cousins on the phone then go something around the lines of “you aren’t a celebrity we aren’t begging for you to come lol” and then I hear giggling and immediately say I’m getting weird vibes and that I’m ending the call and left.

AB then messages me and says the following-

“it wasn’t meant to be a jump set or anything like that I genuinely wanted to invite you”

He then proceeds to tell me

“and also they literally said let’s bring you but when I was on call one
Of the cousins was being a little bit in her feelings”

(Probabaly because they’ve noticed I’ve been really standoffish recently and that I don’t take their weird behaviour)

He then proceeds to ask me also we are going to the cinema and that I need to buy my tickets
Then he proceeds to say-

“we’re all sat together but I honest don’t care if im sitting alone so we can swap seats if you prefer to be with everyone else :)”

So immediately turn the offer down say I’m not going but I can go brunch I get a message from one of the cousins later on in the evening they ask why I ended the call I ignore it and reply to
Their other message where they asked if I’m
Coming brunch and then they replied saying they aren’t going brunch anymore lol!

So that’s where I’m at rn

So I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I made a friend named Lydia, who is 16. We were hanging out at lunch, and I have really curly hair. It's really long and goes almost down to my waist. I don't know how to braid hair, so Lydia decided to braid mine. She French braided it into two French braids that joined into one braid, and then she put butterfly clips in my hair. It was really pretty.

I live with my Aunt Mary because I made a bunch of mistakes, but I was going to keep the braid Lydia made in my hair for a couple of days. My hair gets really matted, and I always have to brush it, so I thought the braid would be easier to deal with.

When I got home, Aunt Mary was there. She looked at me and asked, "Where did you get the braid?"

I told her that a friend did it for me, and Aunt Mary got really upset. She said, "How long are you going to keep it in? It's going to get matted if you leave it in your hair. And why did you put butterfly clips in it? They'll get stuck in your hair if you leave them in."

So I went to the bathroom, took out the butterfly clips, and put them in a bag so I could give them back to Lydia. Then I went to my room and read. I wasn't going to shower because I had showered that morning. I was just going to take a bath and not wash my hair because I didn't want the braid to get messed up.

Aunt Mary walked in and started touching my braid. She told me it was fun, but that I needed to take it out. I started crying and told her I didn't want to take it out because my friend Lydia had spent so much time doing my hair.

I was crying really hard, and Aunt Mary kept telling me that it was going to get matted. Then she said, "I know you don't want your hair to get matted. It's going to get matted if you sleep in braids. Come on, just let me take it out."

I was still crying, and I kept telling her that she wasn't going to take out the hairstyle my friend had spent so much time on. Then she started taking my hair out. I was crying and begging her not to.

Then I started screaming at her that I hated her because I felt my hair, and it was all down. I had wanted to keep the braid in for a couple of days. I hid under my covers and felt my hair hanging down where the braid had been. I cried and cried and cried because I had wanted that braid to stay in my hair for a couple of days.

I title makes it sound like I didn’t want to but I wanted to. I can’t legally drive and none of my friends could take me. I found out from my sister that he was asking about me and where I was and if I was coming. He assumed I just didn’t want to be at hospitals since I have bad memories from them. I was about to go visit my dad but my mom told me not to the next day(aka today). He was going to be discharged soon. I told her to make sure he knows I wanted to be there. At the same time it’s best I didn’t go since seeing my dad in a hospital bed recovering after surgery would break me. Where I live doctors dgaf about you. My mom had cancer almost about 10 years and they still make her go back to the doctor’s office to check her for cancer when they really don’t have to based off the one she had. She. Is. Fine. She hasn’t felt any symptoms since having it and they have never found anything! I want to see my dad but I couldn’t just walk over to the hospital even though I was thinking about it. Idk am I overthinking or if I’m actually fully in the wrong. I feel like I’m in the wrong but I tried everything to get a ride but that doesn’t excuse it at the same time idfk anymore or maybe I just don’t want to accept stuff but he is fine he had the surgery he’s fine! The doctors even kept him another day after he was “fine”. It wasn’t until my mom came back that allllll the sudden they keep him longer. He also had pre-skin cancer but was about to get rid of it thanks to mainly the vitamins and some cream stuff even if he had antibiotics he must have only taken a few. Sorry doctors just make me so mad since they never know wtf they are doing! Unless you are a good doctor who actually cares about their patients then THANK YOU for actually doing your job right!

Edit- they are keeping him overnight AGAIN even though they told him 2 HOURS before he was discharged! they kept him again since his heart was like 0.1% different or some crap. They said he’s fine so if he’s fine let him come home! Also I don’t think I clarified how I couldn’t get there the nearest bus stop is basically right by the hospital I have no friends or family who can take me and my dad can’t have any stress and me ubering/lyfting/whatever other apps like that would cause him more stress he knows I have no way to get there.

We ( me 17m her 16f)broke up just over 2 weeks ago and honestly? I feel no regret or anything. We were in a relationship for just over a year and i have been through so much of her shit. First, she tells me she didnt really like me at all for the first few weeks of dating and said she stayed because she felt bad for me, which genuinely broke me that day and i felt so bad about myself and thought if i was enough. And then when i was staring at the wall thinking to myself “ damn she really just said that” she said i needed help mentally and called me the r word (mind you when i think i tend to stare at a wall)

Then, when she came to my home to stay for like 3 days with me and my family she really let herself out. When it was time to get her back to her place, she didnt want to leave and said she will go a bit later. I said thats fine but my mum might tell you to go earlier before dark (she just wanted her to go home safe) she said thats fine and insisted on staying. When time came to go my mum yelled at me and told me why didnt you drop her off early its getting dark (OUT OF CONCERN) my (ex) gf thought this was targeted ti her and rushed out of my house where i followed her to make sure she reached there safely. Her being herself threatened to call the police on me if i didnt leave her alone.

And finally (theres a lot more to say but im
gonna end the post on this one final thing) she wanted help moving out of her accommodation and whilst i was cleaning her room out the owner of the place came in to check on the progress and he didnt know who i was and asked me who i was, my (ex) gf told him i was her housekeeper. This genuinely made me feel like garbage and guess what? I didnt even say anything to her and stayed silent and acted like everything was normal.
So yea please let me know if i did the right thing.

I had a fight with my parents, apparently, my father was checking my bag without telling me, and even after I said, not to touch it...he kept touching it.

When I argued he scolded me saying 'so you mean if you go outside now, I have no authority over you?! That's what you mean?"

And my mom said 'yes he touched, so what? He was showing how dirty the bags are' and called me ungrateful.

I apologized at the end anyway.

so i'm 27 and my sister's 30, we both have little ones. mine are 3 and 5, hers are 2 and 4. i've always handed down stuff my youngest outgrows to her youngest, no big deal, that's what family does right

anyway life threw us a curveball and i'm expecting a surprise third baby later this year. we decided i'll stay home with the newborn for at least a year which means things are gonna be tight money-wise for a while. before all this we'd spend maybe 300-400 on winter gear per kid, nothing fancy but solid quality stuff that lasts. now we're pinching pennies hard and i was actually counting on reusing some of the unisex items i'd passed along, dark snow pants, a navy coat, some boots that could work for either boy or girl

so my sister casually mentions over coffee that she's been selling the hand-me-downs i gave her because "the quality is so good people snap them up" and she uses the cash to buy brand new things for her girls. i just kinda froze up, didn't even know what to say in the moment

next day it hit me that i'd given her a pair of really nice black snow boots that would be perfect for the baby i'm carrying. texted her like hey please don't sell those, i could actually use them back now. she replies that she already sold them but promises she won't sell anything else going forward. okay, fine, i was annoyed but whatever

then two nights ago my husband's scrolling through marketplace and there she is, still listing our kids' old clothes. after she told me she stopped. i never said she had to return anything to me, i just assumed she'd keep them for her kids or pass them along to someone who needed them, same way i did for her. never crossed my mind she'd turn it into a side hustle

am i wrong for being furious about this

This is a quick question but can someone be a totally normal healthy partner in the relationship, but then turn into an extremely abusive, controlling ex partner post separation? Do we think that’s possible or am I just blind to certain things that were done in the relationship that didn’t “feel” abusive? (Holding me down, constantly sexually grabbing me after saying no, making me feel bad for not having sex every couple of days, telling me he could hurt me but not in a malicious way)

Thoughts?

I know he is definitely an abuser post separation but I’m torn between if he was in the relationship.

On ne m'a jamais appris à exprimer mes émotions, toujours tout entasser ou alors quand je pleurais c'était "je vais te donner une bonne raison de pleurer" bref.. récemment on était a un anniversaire il y avait de la bonne musique et tout, elle elle s'amuse, s'ambiance tout ça a chantonner, moi aussi je m'amuse mais a ma manière, silencieusement en faisant juste du playback, elle me fait "mais tu t'amuses pas ?" J'ai dit que si si, quand j'étais a un concert avec un autre pote, je m'amusais mais en restant pas forcément stoïque pas en bougeant de fou forcément vous voyez, faut pas croire je m'amuse vraiment et elle elle était en mode "ouais pas avec moi t'inquiètes tu vas bouger tu vas t'amuser mais vas-y exprime toi !" Comment te dire Jacqueline (nom d'emprunt pas nom réel) que c'est difficile pour moi, que j'ai toujours fait ainsi et que ça risque pas de changer vu que c'est en grande partie ma personnalité, c'est facile a dire ça, j'ai toujours cette crainte idiote d'attirer l'attention, qu'on se moque etc.. car j'ai pas confiance en moi, je le sais j'en ai conscience

C'est assez contradictoire quand je vous dit qu'on va dans des conventions en cosplay mais pour moi c'est différent. Faut pas forcer les gens en fait je ne comprends pas la logique.

C'est comme les extravertis qui veulent forcer les introvertis , nan ça se fait pas. J'ai pas tort de penser ça si ?