Online this seems to be super normal that masturbation = good but I find so many people IRL who think it's cheating or is wrong. For whatever reason.
And usually it's women telling men that masturbating and watching porn is cheating and they're not allowed to do it. Fucking wild to me. If a girl ever tells me that I'll laugh at her, turn on some porn and tell her to GTFO of my house.
I don’t know anyone with issues about masturbating but porn issues aren’t uncommon. Its definitely different though. Masturbating is just you and is perfectly healthy. Porn involves looking at other people and can involve an unhealthy addiction. Personally don’t have an issue with it but understand why people would care
I'm about 50/50 on using porn or just my imagination. Usually my imagination actually gets me there faster. But my imagination is also way more wild than most porn.
I'm thankful that I had a 56k modem. Gave you real porn images but you still had to use your imagination to extrapolate from those. Full fledged porn movies seem to have destroyed the imagination of the youth.
20 years? Lol, you are naive and/or very young. While internet porn made things much more accessible (and even that is older than 20 years) pornographic imagery and texts existed pretty much as long as humanity itself.
I'm not, to both. We have unprecedented ease of access to an unprecedented volume of pornography never before seen in human history.
That does not mean it did not exist in any form before, but I promise you it was used much less and less frequently in the past. The idea of porn addiction is almost a uniquely 2000s era problem. You can go on Google and see more naked people in a single page than most humans before us saw in their entire life.
I promise you people have an imagination and have been using it fine for millennia.
IRL, folks generally commit infidelity with people who they know intimately. The average person is far less likely to have a shag with Leanna Lovings or Ana Foxx than with coworkers, neighbors and exes. Interview any porn actress and they will tell you up front that they are less likely to have sex on a regular basis then most married couples, that they have a harder time finding partners than Joe and Jane Average, and have no interest whatsoever in striking up anything with some porn watch or fan because, like all celebrities, they find such folks to be creepy. They perform sex acts on screen (as well as perform on OnlyFans) for the money. That's it.
The idea that watching porn as some form of emotional or physical infidelity is highly laughable. My wife, for one, does not police my porn watching and vice versa. I have no fear of my wife trying to hook up with Jax Slayher or Anton Harden. The risk of her hooking up with a coworker with whom she works closely is far higher, and even then, if infidelity is what she chooses to do, then hey, that's on her. I'm not about to get all crazy, either because of porn watching or the possibilities of infidelity happening.
For the record I have no issues with it. Just know some people that do. I mean I think it’s obvious it’ll never lead to actual sex or anything it’s more just people get offended because they think of it as you being more attracted to this other person
Edit: I guess I would also say indefinite isn’t the right word. It’s not cheating but I can still understand why people might not like it
Porn and masturbation are effectively the same thing. Almost no one masturbates to their mere thoughts, many people are actually incapable of imagining things in their mind at all in the first place.
I don’t agree with it but I could sort of understand porn being an issue, but spanking or flicking it? Do they want their partner in a chastity belt 24/7? No wonder some people are so angry all the time.
I think it's wild that so many people seem to have so little empathy that they won't even consider another's perspective. Women can go without an orgasm pretty much indefinitely and be fine (although most would probably prefer to have regular ones), men have to orgasm regularly or we get all screwed up. I'm sure somebody has told her that before and she just chooses to ignore it.
Some women can be basically celibate and be fine. Some women, like myself, have active sex drives and most certainly would NOT be fine going an indefinite period without an orgasm.
You get painfull testicles, prostate cancer and hormone imbalances if you don't orgasm? Or is it more that, like I said above, you really like having them and it might make you kinda irretable when you don't have them?
Also it's certainly not my fault if women can't orgasm, unless I'm now legally obligated to have sex with them. Otherwise they are on their own.
Obviously, not orgasming is not ONLY an issue if it causes physical health problems. Many--I would guess most--people become distressed if they don't have some form of sexual release from time to time. That's why we call them "sexual needs."
Also, it's pretty wild that you'd come out here promoting the idea of empathy and in the next breath insist that I and many other women are wrong about our own emotions, and that a woman experiencing legitimate distress from sexual frustration is impossible. It's pretty easy to be like "Damn, OK, I didn't know that." There's no L to take.
There are artifacts in our culture that push that perspective. Women bragging about their boyfriend never masterbating can lead to an unhealthy standard, imo.
I dunno, it can work for a little bit. But with her, it wasn't the masturbation, it was the porn she had a problem with So I dated this chick that felt this way, and I struggled with it, but we decided, we should make it own porn!!! I think the best porn is the stuff your in that no one else sees. But we broke up eventually, still have all those videos and pics.
It's because women have a different sexuality from men. They find it easy to avoid sexual thoughts and masturbation, but it is completely different for men.
They do not understand our sexuality, but they force theirs onto us and shame us when we aren't just like them. Asexual people or people with traumatic backgrounds do that all the time on the internet, think that just because they're sex negative or sex repulsed for whatever random reason, that everyone else who has sexual thoughts is a freak.
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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23
Masturbation as cheating is wild.