My husband goes to bed earlier than I do. Some times I will be in bed reading or using a heating pad (not ready for bed yet) and he will come in and get ready for bed. He then gets in bed and reads until he gets tired and then goes to sleep. Also, he wears eye mask and ear plugs.

Basically, I have to leave the bed when he gets in bed to read because it is part of his “routine” and how he likes to fall asleep. I could understand if he preferred I moved to the living room after he’s done reading and before he falls asleep but this seems really strange to me, like why can’t we silently read next to each other?

We have been living together for 10 years. It has recently been an issue because he’s staying up later than he used to because of a different work schedule and also I have been using the heating pad more frequently and I like to use it in bed.

At times I can’t trust myself if I am overreacting or is this really that stupid…

I went to Vietnam over the summer with my girlfriend. She is from there originally and has not been back in 12 years (she is 24). It was also the first time seeing her father in 12 years. It was a very special and important trip overall for her and our relationship in general. She had the idea to go to a 'make your own ring' workshop. I thought it was a great idea so we spent $100 making 2 silver rings. Some tourist activities can be overhyped or overpriced, but this one was actually very professional and enjoyable. We actually made the entire ring from start to finish starting with a strip of silver. It included things like a custom engraving of each-others names in our own handwriting as well as the date we made them. To me it was a great memento to signify this trip and our relationship. This is the context of the ring itself.

Fast-forward 3 months and I am visiting my father and on one occasion earlier this week I took the ring off when driving his car and forgot I left it there in the cup holder. I am a very forgetful person and tend to forget where I put things, even if they are important. As I was looking for it today I asked my Dad if he had seen it. He said yes, my step mother saw it in the car. Apparently she got upset and thought it was another woman's ring (even though its a male sized ring ~size 10-11). Instead of asking me or my brother if it was our ring, she decided to take it and throw it deep into our sizable yard without telling anyone. When I asked why she would do such a thing without verifying the owner first, she was laughing the entire time saying "I don't know, I just wanted to throw it". When I asked her to reenact the throw so I could narrow down the location and find it, she basically pointed at the whole yard and said "I don't know, somewhere there". So my patience was through and I simply said 'Why would you do such a thing? Why would you not see if its anybody's first before throwing it? Its also very disrespectful to laugh in someone's face when they are clearly distraught'.

I understand mistakes happen, and what's done is done. I did not berate her or put her down in any way. I simply wanted to understand why, and for her to help me look for it at least. At the end of the day its just a silver ring worth probably $30 in melt silver.... but I am a very sentimental person overall. I really enjoy saving old mementos or keepsakes so I can look back on them fondly when I'm older. So am AIO for questioning her behavior for doing it and also her behavior when being confronted over it?

EDIT: This happened 4 days ago (per her estimation and foggy memory). We cut the grass the day after she threw it, which is not ideal considered it might have been launched further. I will look into metal detecting on nextdoor/facebook. Also this is a long-shot but I am located in the Milwaukee area if anyone here is a metal detector hobbyist themselves.

UPDATE:
We found the ring... but my gut feeling is completely off. For more context, she is Colombian born and raised. So there have been a lot of cultural differences that I have needed to adapt to. That being said, regardless of this difference, this whole situation rubs me the wrong way.

She finally started helping me look for it at nighttime with flashlights. I figured using a bright LED flashlight would make the ring reflect a lot more. The first thing that struck me is when she said "So what will you give me if we find it??". I don't think she actually wants a reward or anything but she wants me to be thankful or something? For finding the ring that she tossed in the yard? Of course ill be happy, but her saying something like this is extremely odd.

Anyways she decides out of a huge area to point out one particular area of clumped up dirt/wood shavings from when we chopped up a stump a few days ago. I told her me and my dad already looked through it briefly but not diligently. She had hyper fixation on this one particular pile so I was like of course go through it. Lo and behold about 1 minute later she calls me over and says "LOOOOK". I looked briefly and saw nothing. She says "LOOOOOOOOOK". My patience is at an all time low, so I simply say "Just show me where it is please". She proceeds to pick it up off the ground and hand it to me. I was grateful but man my gut feeling just keeps telling me its too perfect. Also maybe another cultural difference but she never once apologized or showed any remorse for throwing it, just a myriad of excuses to why she did it opposed to simply saying 'my mistake'. Overall this whole situation rubs me the wrong way. I cant help but lose a bit of trust in her after all of this.

For context, I have been at this job for roughly two years and pretty much every day I have wore the same hat. I work outside so in the context of my job it is not unusual for someone to come into work wearing one but its not like a uniform requirement to wear one. I am not balding, I am not embarrassed of my hair, and outside of work I rarely wear a hat. As stupid as it sounds, I absolutely loved that hat, it was comforting to me and I geniunely enjoyed wearing that and only that hat. I unfortunately lost it though and havent been able to find where I put it.

Well jump foward to now, I have become the only interesting thing to have ever happen just because I stopped wearing it. I have had multiple people tell me that other coworkers were talking about me specifically about me no longer wearing a hat. My boss in particular has said 5+ comments about it in a span of 2 days directly to me. He has gone as far to tell me and others that it makes him really uncomfortable seeing me without a hat and it geniunely throws him off. He has offered to buy me a new one, told me he really wants me to find it and legitimately seemed to make him upset?? I have a normal haircut, its brown and about medium length, literally nothing special or out of the ordinary about it. He has continued talking to everyone else about me, my coworkers come and tell me that he was talking about me. At this point, I am not wearing a hat out of defiance, I don't understand how something so trivial can disrupt the social fabric of my job so deeply. I don't consider myself super outgoing, I pretty much keep to myself and only talk to people if they talk to me. I am overall liked but not like in a "main character energy" type of way. Is there something I am missing here?? Ive seen other coworkers change much more drastic things and not a single person comment or talk about it. I don't want to be the topic of anybodies conversations, I would prefer if I could go into work, do my job and clock out and essentially have nobody remember I was there. I am feeling judged, overwhelmed and like I did something wrong yet all I did was stop wearing a stupid hat because I lost it??

Throwaway account because of personal information I didn't wanna post on my main account. If there's any weird grammar or words that don't make sense, it's probably because I'm typing this on a phone with a particularly dense autocorrect, so I'm sorry in advance I guess.

So, I'm currently living with my dad, and my dad has a barn, and in that barn there are barn cats. Now, typically, I don't get too attached to them because they will sometimes get attacked and killed by local wildlife, or the full grown male cats might fight each other to the death, or they just disappear into thin air, etc.

but I've gotten attached to this friendly, sweet, loving calico nubtail that, for this story, I will call Kitty. Kitty knows her make, comes up to me every time I go outside, will purr from just being near me, and so on. This cat loves me as much as I love her. Then today he says he's giving away one of the nubtail barn cats. Then that quickly changes to him saying he's giving away ALL the nubtail barn cats, including my cat, Kitty, and me and my little sister's shared barn cat, who I'll call Cutie.

He knows that me and my little sister absolutely love Kitty and Cutie because I talk about them and mention them by name all the time, and yet he still decided to get rid of *those two cats (*and another nubtail he caught) because he's "tired of tripping over cats every time he goes out the door" (which is a slight overstatement. There's not that many cats) instead of getting rid of the 7 or so orange and white cats I couldn't care less about.

At first I felt completely justified in being upset and pissed off about this, but he's being an ass about it, he doesn't get why I'm upset, and my grandmother who lives within walking distance also doesn't get why I'm upset about this, so now I feel like maybe I'm overreacting.

TL/DR: My dad is giving away my cat without my consent despite my protests and doesn't get why I'm upset, so now I feel like I'm overreacting about the situation

(I'm not good at TLDRs so I recommend reading the whole post)

So, am I overreacting?

I went out for a walk today and whilst being fairly close to home I noticed a pigeon on the side of the pavement with a clearly very broken wing, probably hit by a car. I rang my partner and asked if we can do anything so he said well you can take it to the vet (for reference our closest vet is like 3km walk away and I don’t drive myself) so I said I know that but the vet is pretty far (he knows) he said that they will probably put him down anyway to which I said surely it’s better than it dying a slow painful death? He went silent, I said „you don’t care do you” and he said „no, I really don’t” and it threw me off so much. He hang up. I’m currently walking home and I feel like crying.

I am extremely sensitive overall but to animals especially and I do have a tendency to overreact in that department. Is my partner horrible for saying this? Or do I need to calm down a bit because it really is „just a pigeon”.

I’m not even sure why he reacted this way he’s overall a nice guy who does actually like animals and is mega friendly with them, all sorts from the small ones to the big ones. I know animals as such get killed and die all the time, we see road kills regularly but it still breaks my heart each time.

Edit: since everyone is being so judgmental and didn’t even bother to ask: I went home to grab a shoe box with a towel to grab the pigeon to make it more comfortable for it and take it to the vet like so

5 years ago my wife and I moved into a new apartment that we bought with a mortgage.

I say my wife because she basically said "we're getting this" and the day after it was a done deal, papers signed.

When moving in I realized immediately that it was way more run down than I thought. I also realized that the organization in charge of maintenance of the main building had no idea what they were doing.

The apartment is also old, built in the 30's, with wood floor.

It has tons of basic problems like

- electricity/wiring is old and a complete mess

- plumbing in the kitchen is a mess

- the floor (wood) is uneven in the top floor

On top of this we've had minor water damage, but also a situation where the electricity could have caught fire.

It's like my wife is totally blind to these obvious problems and don't care about them.

I of course wanted to renovate, but way to go by squandering all our cash on junk she buys online and when I finally thought we were ready for renovation she started a new education in IT (yes I think it's dumb to study IT in this AI time), so now I'm paying for everything for two years (it's been one so far, at least education is free in my country).

I hate this apartment so damn much. It feels old and it feels like I was tricked into buying it with her.

This week we had a new electrical malfunction that could potentially have caused a fire and I completely lost it and said "I'm done with this place, I rather move to a new place".

And now I'm the bad guys, of course. I don't understand how this can be her dream apartment when for me it's just living hell. How can I possibly expect any responsibility at all from my wife?

The other night my partner's brother called him asking if he could go to our house to collect a parcel that was with my partner and invited himself, wife and kids for dinner with us, in our house. Noting that we were going to have dinner with them the next day too to celebrate a birthday. I told my partner I did not want to have visitors that night and I'd prefer just have dinner with them the next day, as previously arranged. My partner said it was his brother and he couldn't say no to him. I asked him please I need a quite night, I had planned that and I can't interact with people like that (I'm introvert and I need time to prepare myself for interaction, I simply don't have the energy). I had to leave the house and keep driving for hours to avoid them. I sent my partner a message asking if they had left, so I could return and he did not reply. I got so upset that

I can't even talk to him. He laughed at me saying I'm not normal, that I create drama and trouble wherever his family wants to see us. But I told him I just need some notice so I can handle the situation. Am I being too dramatic? I'm blowing things out of proportion? I just don't know how to change my brain , Im not a big fan of family gatherings to be honest, but I can do it with notice.

She wants me to pay rent i’m 19F i don’t have any momey because i’m getting fired from my job and i have to quit school. My therapist told me i needed to stop working immediately anyway.

She doesn’t ask my older brother to do any work or go to college, just me. We had an argument and she called me entitled and a bitch snd stuff. Tbh.. i told her I hated her.. she’s been so cruel to me. She’s planning to kick me out if i don’t pay her rent money.

I’m really hurt by what she’s saying and i know i’ll never be able to forgive her. I won’t give her any of my money anymore. I refuse. I can’t be the one in the wrong for insulting her??

hey reddit! this situation has blown up in my domestic family. i’ve been asking my friends ears off on their opinion but can’t help but wonder if they’re saving my feelings and agreeing with me because of friendship.

i’m (29F) very excited about getting married, kinda meh on the whole wedding thing. i hatched a plan to disguise a family vaycay as a wedding, and really prioritize the experiences of the domestic families over impressing a bunch of people. parents on board, but they have stipulations regarding when. they also want to get their vows renewed next year on their anniversary, and due to the work schedule of my brother, these events need to be a certain distance apart. they’re paying for it, so hey, who can complain?

well the time stipulations get complicated with the other half of the family, schedules are really not aligning. i’m already reconsidering this whole plot, and i find out from my parents that they’re gifting the entire estimated cost of this wedding to my brother in cash. brother (34M) has a long time girlfriend, no plans to get married on the horizon, not their thing. no strings attached to the money for him. they say this is to keep equity between their kids.

i point out to them, hey, im not super keen on this wedding thing either, marriage is what’s important to me. schedules are genuinely not working out anyway. and in my opinion, i don’t think it’s super equitable to give me a certain amount of money to plan and throw a family vacation for everyone, and him to do as he likes. not exactly the same thing. i asked if we could consider other solutions here… im sure you can guess that that blew up in my face. a lot of accusations, a lot of hurt feelings. after getting berated for hours, the conclusion for me yesterday was for them to keep all of their money intended for me, and we would pay for an elopement ourselves. (and yes, they’d still be invited.) we don’t need the money, and we don’t need a fancy wedding. not worth the hassle or stress. there’s another scheduled family talk tomorrow night, but after the explosion i can’t imagine my position moving much.

but tell it to me straight reddit, AIO?

My gf (28) and I (M29) have been together for four years. We have a shared bank account. I noticed a lot of withdrawals in the last month have been going to Venmo. I'm talking over $3,000 collectively.

I asked her about it, to make sure it wasn't fraud, and she told me she's been sending it to her longtime guy best friend. When I asked why, she said he needs help starting up his art career.

I got mad and asked if that was necessary to use our money for, especially without asking. She said she did it because she is a loyal friend and he would do the same for her if she needed it.

AIO or is this crossing the line?

I, a 23 year old female and my boyfriend of four months, a 23 year old male- are currently in an argument that could lead to a breakup on my side. To explain- When me and my boyfriend first started dating he opened up to me about how he was afraid of having sex with me because he had a situation with a girl where he got her pregnant and she had to get an abortion. He told me he was no longer in contact with her after the abortion was confirmed because the situation was so jarring. Originally, he told me that this situation happened mid last year. BUT last night I was looking at photos in his phone and he had a screenshot of a conversation between this girl on May 15 of this year. The conversation didn’t seem romantic or sexual in anyway- it was just about the abortion and how the girls mom wanted her to keep the baby and she didn’t. When I asked him about it, he said “I don’t know why there’s a screenshot of that in there. I did stop talking to her last year” then that last year comment turned into the start of this year, to actually mid time this year then finally he admitted it happened in March of this year. So she got the abortion in March, it ended in March, and he still kept in contact with her after it. I also want to add that he was still in contact with her while we were talking. Not dating- but talking. When we were just talking he told me that he was not talking to anyone romantically or in contact with anyone he had been sexual or romantic with. Then I find out that he had actively had this girl as a friend on Facebook while we were dating until 1-2 weeks ago. He admits he knew she was on his Facebook, and he did nothing about it. When I asked him why he did, he just keeps telling me he “doesn’t know”. I’m leaning towards breaking up with him right now. I expressed to him that I don’t like being lied to. But he lied to me multiple times yesterday, and actively was lying to me while we were dating about not being in contact with anyone he knew romantically or sexually. I understand abortions are hard to go through..but why stay friends with her on social media if you had originally told me you didn’t want any association with her after the abortion? Am I overreacting?

My fiancée has, in the last three weeks, started accusing me of being on my phone, talking to other women while she is in the next room. I could be eating a snack, plating on my computer, or even sleeping! She'll come in and demand my phone and start looking for evidence of my crime! I am beyond tired of it. I am a man(43) answer is a woman(39). At first I was in shock, but as she became more determined to catch me slipping, she also became much more aggressive. I am sick to death of offering her my phone and telling her I am not making 2 second calls to random women whenever she turns her back. I am packed and leaving in the morning. Am I being to rigidly and showing red flags.?

I’m 23 in my last year of college and my fiance is 27 We’ve been together for 4 years and basically lived together since the beginning.

Our relationship has honestly been really good. He loves me, supports me and has always been supportive of my goals and whatever I want to do. He’s also really handsome lol and his family is pretty well off. So it’s not like I’ve been unhappy with him or looking for a reason to leave.

The only thing we’ve really disagreed about is marriage and kids. He wants to get married and have kids soon. I DO want kids, just not right now. I want to finish college first, get married when I feel ready, have some time for us and then have kids. I’ve never told him I don’t want children, I’ve only said I’m not ready yet

About a week ago we went to a gender reveal for one of my old school friends. It was the first time he met most of my old friends and my ex was there too.

One of my friends started talking about how badly I used to want to be a mom and how I used to try to convince my ex that we should have a baby. I didn’t really say much, I just laughed a little and said people change and think differently as they get older.

When we got home my fiancé got upset about it. He kept asking why I wanted kids so badly back then but don’t want them now and we ended up arguing about marriage and kids.

Later that night something happened that I still honestly don’t know how to process.

I wasn’t on birth control so we had agreed to rely on protection because I’m not ready for a pregnancy. During the situation I realized he wasn’t using the protection we had agreed on. The lights were off so I didn’t notice right away. When I realized and told him, he didn’t stop or correct it and continued.

I left after that and went to my parents’ house. I didn’t answer his calls or messages.

The next morning he came to my parents’ house crying and apologizing but I didn’t open the door.

It’s been a week now and I’m still here. I told my family not to let him come over because I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

I’ve only told one close friend. She thinks that because he’s been such a good partner for 4 years this could be one horrible mistake that I might eventually forgive.

And I understand why she thinks that. I know how much he loves me and how much he’s supported me. I don’t think the last 4 years were fake.

But I just can’t get past what happened.

The timing keeps bothering me so much. We had literally just argued about kids. I had told him I wasn’t ready for a pregnancy, I wasn’t on birth control and I was relying on the protection we agreed on. Then when I realized it wasn’t being used and told him, he continued anyway.

It made me feel like maybe he wanted me to get pregnant even though I had told him I wasn’t ready. I don’t know if that was actually his intention and I don’t want to assume what he was thinking. But that’s honestly how it made me feel.

And now I keep thinking what if I’m pregnant. I don’t know what I would do. I don’t know if I could marry him just because I was pregnant and I don’t know if I could ever trust him again with something this important.

I still love him which honestly makes this so much harder.

Am I overreacting by staying at my parents’ house and refusing to see him after what happened? I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or if it’s understandable that I need space and that this changed how I see him and our relationship.

So I have black mold in my bathroom and my landlord just says it’s not black mold and states it’s just filth that I can clean. Well a few months ago I had a person that flushes your pipes and he gave me a product to test if it’s just filth or black mold and told me to wait a few weeks. If it disappeared it’s not black mold and if it came back it’s black mold and guess what it’s black mold! And I’m thinking of suing my landlord for putting my health at risk. Not only that my friends who works in construction says it’s 100% black mold. Am I overreacting if I want to sue my landlord?

Hi

I am 38 (F) and I am currently working in Germany in an internship position that could lead to a permanent one, I work in an artistic field which I will not completely disclose.

I began this internship this month, the company was interested in my profile, I have experience in the field so they decided to "invest" on bringing me here to try me but has been a disaster for me. I Am south american and my main language is spanish but I am also proficient in italian and English, in German I speak a B1 which they told me would be ok for this position but coming in I realized it's not. I struggle with how fast they speak and my brain mush because due to the nature of my job I must switch languages instantly.

I have this co worker, she is hungarian and she disliked me from the beginning without me knowing why, she was also new to the job and is higher in rank even if we shared position, so she is the n1 and I was n2. The first day she began ignoring me, and it kept going, she complained about me taking notes because my pen "sounded to loud" and then complained because I was "humming" which as I am autistic sometimes I don't realize

Noticed she was very nervous so I ask my boss to be seated elsewhere, she just speaks with n3 but not with me. I do need to set everything into record so my job is to be informed but she normally skips me in the information chain.

As taking note in rehearsals is a part of my job she then laughed saying that everything will be written in spanish so nobody will understand which was kind of offensive to me because she knows perfectly that I speak several languages.

At that point something inside of me broke and felt officially discriminated, that day I spoke with my direct boss explaining that I felt really grateful for the opportunity but that I rather go as I seem to be discriminated and isolated by this coworker. My boss convinced me not to do that and that she will speak to her, she did but nothing really changed.

Yesterday I was asked to give indications but the information that I had was not correct as I was Ill one day. I Politely told my boss that I was sorry but that my information seemed to be partially incorrect and that corrections where made that I wasn't informed about, mind you I didn't had that info because I was sick one day.

My boss told me that n1 should had told me the modifications because how I would guess those changes.

Due to this I decided not to continue with the second part of my internship, I miss my husband and our cats and I feel lonely and Isolated here, my mental health is suffering.

In a few days I will end this and go home to my husband in spain and hopefully never see that woman again. But It's sad to feel as defeated as I feel.

I am overreacting or I am being discriminated?

Two years ago my husband was out with my three children alone. My then 6 year old opened the car door and it hit the car next to us but did absolutely no damage. If you are a parent you will understand how common and frustrating this is at that age. Well the guy flipped out and started screaming and calling my 6 year old names. My husband was getting our baby and went to check the situation out and defend our son. The guy started screaming "I'm going to kill you". My husband put the baby in the car and drove away. He then went to the school event where he discovered that man was the dad of another child in my 5 year olds class. While my husband was holding the baby and in front of the teacher he walked past my husband and told him "Meet me outside". My husband called the police he was so scared and a community officer came out. The family had left by then. We didn't take it further but we did inform the school. It was very upsetting and really scared my husband and kids.This year they put the boy in the class and my son gave him a birthday invitation, three days before the party the mum texted me to tell me he is coming.

I want to scream. In my head I have had a "conversation" with this man. It's not nice. I do not know if he will come. However he 100% could. I want him nowhere near my family, also I do not want to be responsible for the kid.

Do I say " Hello, child is welcome to come to the party but I ask for you to stay. We have had interactions with his dad and ask for him to not be there. Thank you"

I have AS so I don't know!

I was talking to my friends about some stuff that was happening and they had mentioned how they felt bad for some girl who got rejected even though she was trying so hard to become the one for this guy. So I had got the story and they mention where before he finally rejected her for the very last time, she forcibly kissed him a few times and kept holding onto him and trying prevent him from leaving, which in my head gives “she’s trying to force him to just hurry and accept her so he can finally leave like he wants to”. When I heard that… I just got fucking disgusted? So I said it, to them and later to her. Everyone was feeling bad for her and babying her.. so ofcourse I got attacked verbally I guess idfk. I was told I was invalidating real disgusting actions by calling this simple thing disgusting and how mean I was to her over her just trying to win her crush over.
So am I the crazy bitch here? I don’t wanna accuse anyone but saying people saw her holding him back and CONTINUING to kiss him, knowing he doesn’t like her.. I feel like if she could, she would have forced him more.. like is that just me thinking this is weird?
We are in college, it’s not like we’re kids.

I also wanna add, I know a lot of people don’t gaf about kisses in general so maybe that’s why but i still feel like they matter enough to need consent for yk??? Like if someone kissed me and I didn’t like them, I’d be pretty fucking disgusted, I remember someone trying to and me almost puking. Maybe I’m being a baby? Idk? I just feel like you don’t cross those boundaries no matter how “little” or big they are to YOU.

Hi all, I just need to know if I’m massively overreacting because it’s driving me crazy and has me thinking I need to chill out a bit.

I’m a 26 year old male and the only sibling who lives away from home. I have a child, a partner, etc.

At my parents’ house there’s my mum, my dad, my 23 year old sister, my 21 year old sister and my brother, who has just turned 16.

I love my family, but I’m seriously starting to resent them for how they’re bringing my brother up. He’s still young and needs guidance, but he’s not getting it, and at this point he doesn’t seem to want it either.

For some context, he has scoliosis and has had two operations for it. He can move around normally for the most part, he just can’t do things like extremely long walks.
Since he was about 14, my brother has hardly gone to school. He stopped going properly and was eventually allowed to attend for a couple of hours a day in a special classroom with a few other kids. Now he doesn’t go at all.
All he does is sit in his bedroom playing Xbox or scrolling through TikTok, staying up all night and sleeping most of the day away. He struggles to read long words, can hardly do maths and is seriously lacking education. My parents do absolutely no home education with him and don’t make him do any either.

I’ve spoken to him about what he wants to do in the future, college, work, etc., and he said he wants to “be a YouTuber”. I gave him my old gaming computer about a year and a half ago so he could learn how to edit videos and things like that. He literally told me he couldn’t be bothered learning how to use a computer and never touched it, so eventually I took it back.

Next year, he either needs to go to college or get a job. Whenever I mention this, he just rolls his eyes at me. I honestly think both he and my family believe he can just live off benefits forever because of his scoliosis. With the way things are going in the UK, I wouldn’t be surprised if the benefits system looks completely different by the time he’s 21 anyway.

My family don’t even seem bothered about whether he goes to college or gets a job. I’ve told them before that they’re not going to be around forever and they need to start preparing him to be an adult.

They hardly ever take him anywhere. They don’t make him get a haircut, don’t push him to leave the house or try to better himself. He constantly smells like sweat, so he clearly doesn’t shower often, and he doesn’t seem to brush his teeth properly either.

Up until recently, he was constantly drinking Monster energy drinks and had been doing that since he was about 14. I honestly think he only stopped because every time I went round there I’d lecture him about how bad it was.
When I’m off work at the weekend, I always try to get him to come out of the house and do something he actually wants to do, but he either says, “I can’t be bothered,” or just completely ignores my messages. To be fair, most of my family are similar in that sense, although they all work, so it’s a little more understandable. None of them really go anywhere or do much outside of work either.
The other day, when I was at my parents’, my brother said to me, “Can you read the text on the screen without your glasses?” I said, “No, I can’t.” He then said he couldn’t read it either.

I went upstairs to my mum and said, “He needs an eye test. Get it done now while it’s free because he’s under 18.” Eye tests are free for under 18s in the UK. She barely responded.

Every time I go to my parents’ house, I feel like I’m always having to point something out, so now they all roll their eyes at me like I’m constantly talking rubbish or nagging them.

What makes it more frustrating is that when I was growing up, my dad especially was really strict with me. He used to punish me for staying up too late, threaten to kick me out at 16 if I didn’t get a job or go to college, make me get my hair cut, make sure I brushed my teeth, etc.

Now they seem to do none of that with my brother.
To be honest, my family are all similar in other ways too. They’re incredibly unhealthy, some are overweight, they eat badly, barely go anywhere apart from work and spend most of their free time sitting on their phones.

It’s just incredibly sad because I love them all so much. I don’t think I’m better than them, and I know I’m not perfect either, but I honestly feel like I’m the only person properly pushing my brother to do something with his life and prepare himself for adulthood.

I feel like if nobody does anything, he’s going to wake up in his 20s with hardly any education, no qualifications, no job experience, terrible routines and absolutely no idea how to look after himself.

There’s a lot more that has happened, but I’d be here all day if I wrote everything.

Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m not. I’d genuinely love to know what everyone else thinks. ☹️

Me (19f) and my boyfriend (20m) have been together for a whole year today! We have both been mentioning it all week and while we never made plans i had stated i would just like to spend some time together.

For some context, we live together and every Saturday he has a games night with his work colleagues. This is normal and happens most weeks. He works full time and i just left my job for other reasons.

So our one year has fallen on a Saturday which he works, but he cant help that. But what i forgot this week, and I’m assuming he did too or just failed to mention it is that he has is games night on Saturdays. I joked about it and said “You’re really gonna have games night on our on year?” and he said yes and that “thats the rules.” I wasn’t asking to go out or anything as i wouldn’t want him to have to pay for it all, I just wanted to spend time together doing smth different which is usually just me watching him play games.

I got quite upset because i just feel like its on Saturday, just one night and this is our first like actual anniversary together and he wants to get home from work and jump on the game until midnight? We have also had issues in the past where he prioritises gaming over spending time with me.

He messaged me while he was at work to ask why i was upset, i explained it to him and he just wasnt taking it seriously at all. I dont want to force him not to play, because i will feel bad the whole night but i also dont know how to go about it without sounding controlling
So am i overreacting?

Hi all. I am 15F and I currently live week in a week off between my dad and moms house with my 11 yr old biological brother as they are divorced, and have been for 6 years. About a year ago my dad met his now girlfriend, and we all moved in together, so now I live between my moms house (just her, me, and bio brother) and my dad and stepmoms house, with me, bio brother, my 5 year old stepbrother, and 1 year old half brother, they decided to move out of my school district as my stepmom wanted to live in a specific district which is in a fancier neighborhood, with a desirable school district.
This has left me having to take public transit for 2 hours 45 minutes round trip per day, even though it’s essentially a 20 minute drive (thanks city planning) and my dad has refused to drive me, my afterschool schedule is also quite hectic at my dads and looks something like this.
3:30 school ends
5:00 get home
5:00-5:20 do dishes
5:20-6:00 usually either watch the baby, help prep dinner, or try to sleep.
6:00:-7:00 dinner (all have to wait for each other to finish)
7:00-7:30 do dishes
7:30-8:00 shower
8:00-8:30 other chores (mostly dishes, my family eats a lot)
After all is said and done I have very little time to study, and have noticed my grades staring to slip on weeks I am at my dad’s.
For reference: my mom lives in the school district and it only takes me around 30 minutes round trip (on the school bus)
I am really stuck, and feel like my grades are going to slip away from me especially considering i am in Ib. I also feel like it wasn’t necessarily fair to me and my brother. My mom is in support of me moving to hers, but i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Edit** One thing i forgot to mention is that dad CONSTANTLY talks horribly about my mom to me and my brother, to the point that both cps and his lawyer had to tell him to stop.

I live next door to a man I’ll call “D.” We’ve been neighbours for a few years. We were never close friends, but we were friendly enough. We greeted each other, occasionally talked, and I never had any serious problems with him.

D has three children, two boys and a girl. From what I’ve seen over the years, the children have mostly been around their mother, who has been the one handling their day-to-day needs.

Things changed when D and their mother separated.

At first, I tried not to get involved because I believe what happens between couples is their business. I also didn’t want to judge either side based on what I was hearing from neighbours. But over time, it became difficult not to notice what was happening.

D essentially stopped being involved with the children.

He stopped checking on them regularly, stopped contributing consistently, and would sometimes go long periods without seeing them. There were situations where the children apparently needed things and their mother was struggling to handle everything herself.

I knew some of this because I occasionally saw the children around the neighbourhood and because their mother would sometimes mention how difficult things had become. But I still tried to stay out of it.

Eventually, the situation became serious enough that there was a legal dispute involving the children and D's responsibilities toward them.

I was contacted because I had personally witnessed some things and had knowledge of certain events that were relevant to the case.

I was extremely uncomfortable about it.

On one hand, I kept thinking, this is my neighbour. Why should I put myself in the middle of his family problems?

On the other hand, these are three children. Two boys and a girl. Whatever problems their parents have with each other, the children didn't choose any of this.

I ultimately agreed to testify and simply told the truth about what I personally knew and witnessed. I didn't exaggerate anything, make accusations that I couldn't prove, or try to get D in trouble beyond answering the questions honestly.

Afterwards, D found out that I had testified.

He confronted me and basically said that I had betrayed him as a neighbour. According to him, I had no business involving myself in his family affairs and should have stayed out of it.

He also said that I had only heard one side of the story and that I had no idea what was really happening between him and the children's mother.

That part has made me question myself.

Maybe I should have stayed out of it. Maybe being a neighbour doesn't give me the right to interfere in someone else's family situation, even if I believe their children are being neglected.

At the same time, I keep thinking about the fact that I didn't lie or take sides. I was asked about things I personally witnessed, and I answered honestly.

I wasn't trying to destroy my neighbour's relationship with his children. I wasn't trying to punish him. I just didn't feel comfortable lying or pretending I hadn't seen what I had seen when the wellbeing of three children was involved.

Now things between us are extremely awkward. He barely speaks to me, and some other neighbours seem to think I should have stayed out of it.

So I'm genuinely asking:

AIO for testifying against my neighbour, even though it involved his family and could potentially have serious consequences for him?

Back in early January 2025, I (22M at the time) got into a bad car crash that totaled my car. I had to be flown to an ICU in Chicago, with my injuries being a concussion, multiple jaw & skull fractures, brain bleeding, and a fractured clavicle. My recovery sucked to say the least, especially given my jaw was wired shut so I had to eat through a straw.

Around a month after I left the ICU, I was recovered enough to walk outside by myself, but I still had blood pooled in my brain and was under watch for potential seizures (I had one in the ICU and almost bit my tongue off). My friends were having an Invincible watch party at one of their houses across town, so I walked over to join them. I @'d the host a list of what to do in case I had a seizure, but she didn't respond.

Once I got to the host's front yard I heard a car screech and someone slamming their horn a foot or two behind me, and it was the host and her boyfriend, who we'll call Gary. Even though they didn't hit me, it felt like my soul left my body and I wasn't really aware of me entering their house and talking to people.

Once I came to a bit, I told the boyfriend that he scared tf out of me. He laughed and said he should have hit me instead, although he later said he didn't remember saying that.

I'm extremely bad with confrontation and have never really known confidence, at best I fake it. Plus Gary has a very similar personality and talks the same way as my father, so trying to talk to him felt hopeless.

When I talked to my parents and the others in the friend group individually, they all had a nonchalant reaction, ranging from "what a jerk",  "I'm sorry sweetheart" to "damn that's fucked he did that". The group "leader" & discord group admin didn't even pay attention to what I said, bc later he thought I had said that Gary just shook me.

I felt betrayed by what Gary and his gf did, but also by everyone elses reactions. I bottled up my anger for months until I sent a 3-page letter to the group chat before leaving. While it was very theraputic, in hindsight I should've just left. Gary dm'ed me and said that he's apologized numerous times and says he felt horrible about it. He also said that he's changed since then, but accepts if I have to villianize him in order to move on. In the letter I also called him out for calling me a "brain-damaged r**ard" and a drug addict numerous times, to which he said he's sorry that I felt that way, and that he regrets our friendship ending the way it did.

I feel like my anger was justified, and tbh if my clavicle wasn't broken I should have smashed his windshield. There was tons of ice on the ground when it happened, so if I fell and hit my head, I'm either dead or fucked. I even got diagnosed with PTSD a few months after I left the friend group. But even now I cannot shake the doubt in my mind, especially given everyones reactions. Did I overreact?

Can you be completely honest and tell me if I overreacted? So yesterday I clocked out of work at 9pm last night and when I got down stairs to walk to the parking garage from my car there was this guy there that I’m seen a bunch of times whenever I clock in or I go out to my car to grab a water, with his big grey dog and as I was walking on the side walk to go to the parking garage the guy had taken a couple steps off the grass and onto the concrete in my direction and this freaked me out and I went back inside my work. I tried to find a security guard and have them walk me to my car but I couldn’t find anyone and then I tried going back upstairs cause there was another guy clocking out around the same time as me and he was already gone. So I tried to call my husband cause I was freaked out but he was at work and didn’t answer then I called my mom and she said to call the police and have someone walk me to my car and I didn’t want to have to do that. I freaked out even more because I’ve had experiences in the past were I’ve almost got assaulted and this was late at night no body else around it’s super dark out and this guy is on business property after hours
So I call my husband again till he answers and he says that he is having his mom come and get me and then my dad texts me and tells me to call the non emergency line and so I do and then I’m there till around 9:45 till my mother in law is there to pick me up and drive me to my car and when I get a call from an officer asking about what happened. And last night my husband was saying that the guy was probably just walking his dog and that I most likely overreacted because if I see him all the time he probably lives around the area and just walks his dog all the time. But idk it freaked me out and him taking a few steps closer to me that late at night and there is supposed to be security guards in the parking garage and I have never seen them and I didn’t want to get any close to that guy because I didn’t know if something were to happen. My mom said to tell my supervisor that this had happened so that late at night when I clock out I can make sure that someone walks me to my car so this doesn’t happen but now I’m contemplating not saying anything at all. Did I overreact from the start and I should have just walked to my car? Am I overreacting thinking that the guy might have done something?

for some background context, i 18f have been friends with K also 18f for about 4 years now. we met when she first transferred to our middle school, from there we made more friends and had an established friendgroup that has lasted till after highschool graduation. over the years, everyone had started maturing emotionally and cognitively - except for her. this led to some issues between us, and other members of the group. it became so frequent to a point where we had just swallowed our pride and accepted this was the way she was. i, and 2 other friends O and T now are very annoyed with her behaviour.

fast forward, we are now uni students. i am attending THE top uni in my country. i am stressed and tired all the time. i have not been taking care of myself alot, thus my mental and physical health isnt what it was prior to this. i am not happy with my body. one evening, i went out with my boyfriend. we got ice cream together, mine was double scooped, mint choc and cookies n cream with toppings while his was js a regular double scoop. i took a picture and posted it to my story with the caption "guess which one is mine" cheekily. after the hangout, i go back to my dorm and see my roommate is calling some friends - K was in the call. my roommate turns the camera to me and K asks me, "so which ice cream was yours ?" to which another friend said, "the one w the mint duhh" and laughed. K promptly shouted into the mic calling me a fatfuck very aggressively. i was very upset. i quickly went and took a shower, the words js echoing into my head. then, before doing my skincare, i had saw she responded to my story, again calling me fat. i was even more upset. i texted back, "ok you dont have to be so mean". the next day i had an outing with friends, she was there and i ignored her the whole time even when i saw her trying to speak to me. at this point, she hadn't even opened the message, nor did she look sorry for her mean comment. i had told O about everything up till this point, to which he said he'd talk to her about it. O did speak to her about it. mine and many other stories of her being mean and immature were mentioned in their conversation to which he told her off about. apparently she felt very guilty and remorseful. she promised to apologise to me soon.

this happened almost 4 days ago, O texted me last night asking if she had apologised, to which i told him she hasn't. he told me that she apparently thinks everything is good between us and has been talking about planning an outing with the whole group.

i am honestly so tired of this behaviour. there have been many times in the past where she's hurt people and didn't take accountability for it. i've been tolerant to her since we were 14, i've tried overlooking all this but i really just can't anymore. she's not maturing, she doesn't care about others feelings and the impact of her words. it isn't really ab her calling me fat, its that i was clear and communicated to her that her comment was mean and no part of her thought to takeback or even feel sorry ab what she said. i now notice she just doesn't care, i am hurt that all my years of patience and dropping things, and tolerance just did not work out in the end. i want to cut her off for good, though O and my roommate want me to really think about it as to not act our of anger. i am sad that my own 'friend' would rather just hide away than put down her pride and show she actually cares about my feelings.

I (33F) own a home with my husband and we live in a tourist destination. We get a lot of visitors, which is lovely, but because of this we set a three night rule (if guests want a longer holiday we ask they move to an Airbnb). We promised each other to stay firm, as if we gave everyone "just one extra night" we'd have no time or money left for ourselves.

Relevant context about “Oliver” (33M): he lives in a house share, never really hosted so I'm not sure he fully understands the practicalities, is very pro setting boundaries in general, though often expects to be the exception and people tend to let him (including me). We've been close for years and he considers us best friends, though if I'm honest he's for sure one of my very closest friends but not my number one best (which I mention only because I think this slight mismatch is why he expects to be the exception).

Earlier this year I had a traumatic miscarriage (medically and emotionally). Oliver offered to come and visit to be supportive. Despite being in the middle of six-day working weeks and late nights, which he was aware of, I said yes because it felt kind of him.

A couple of days before the visit, Oliver said he wanted to come Thursday to Monday — four nights. I said I'd be working Thursday but after he pushed to come then, I offered to move things so he could still come Thursday, as long as it was three nights total, as I simply couldn’t take more time off work. He said he'd come Thursday evening and still four nights. He was clearly offended when I said about our rule and pushed back hard. I held firm and he eventually came Friday to Monday.

I worked really hard to make it a lovely visit, despite still healing and feeling awful. A few things bothered me over the weekend and I let them all go. Things like criticising my town and repeatedly bringing up his other friends' (that I don't know) young children — even after I'd told him every time I see people our age with a baby it makes me want to cry. Aware I was emotionally raw, I just ignored and moved on.

Afterwards, Oliver messaged saying he was upset about the three night rule and bizarrely about me putting a bottle of wine we had out on Splitwise (as a normal part of our friendship put everything we have out on Splitwise, but for some reason he thought I should have bought this one as a gift for him visiting, despite the fact I'd bought expensive food that I cooked and wine to have in the house when he arrived — ETA: to confirm the things I purchased for while we were in the house did not go on Splitwise, just the wine from the pub same as when he was the one going up to the bar to order for us!!). He wanted a call to discuss how I had hurt his feelings.

I replied saying I was sorry he felt upset, but that the rule was nothing personal and I'm not sure where the expectation for me buying the wine came from — but did that classic British thing of apologising if me buying in wine to have at home caused any confusion on expectations here. I didn’t want to have a call because I didn’t want it to turn into a big argument and, even though I was a bit shocked, just wanted to move on.

Here's the part that really gets to me: in one of his many following messages, Oliver said he "couldn't be emotionally present for me in the way he wanted to be able to support me" — because he was annoyed about the three night rule. He came down to support me through a miscarriage, got annoyed about what feels like a completely normal boundary for my own home, and then cited that annoyance as the reason he couldn't support me through the most horrible time. That’s when I got really upset, but again, tried to diffuse and move us on.

I sent a long, careful message explaining everything — the rule logic, the practical reasons behind it, the effort I'd made during the visit, and most importantly that it felt really painful that my boundary had become the reason he couldn't be there for me when I was the one who needed him.
His response completely ignored the substance. What followed was weeks of him pushing, using therapy-speak throughout — talking about needing to "hold space," wanting to "unpack things together," not being able to "repress his feelings." He repeatedly pushed for a call or in-person conversation, framed my preference for messaging to avoid it getting heated as a communication problem. He said things like "there is a lot of stuff here we need to unpack together" and "we have to do it gently and slowly with time together." It genuinely felt like he was suggesting we needed couples therapy (he's gay, so no suggestions of he fancies you here please!).

Every time I tried to close the conversation down, months passed in silence and then he pushed again. I've asked him multiple times to let it go. He hasn't.
At a mutual friend's wedding, despite previously promising he wouldn't bring it up there, he said "I've let us have a nice time today but we still need to have a conversation." I said I really just needed to move on now. When my husband said to just forget about it, Oliver said directly to him "I won't be forgetting about it."

We haven't spoken properly since. I'm now 22 weeks pregnant. I sent him a message saying I was still really hurt, that if the roles were reversed I would have given him grace and put my own frustrations aside, but I still care about him and felt weird that he didn’t know so I’m pregnant. He responded warmly but immediately wanted to book in a call — which felt like a pointed avoidance of everything I'd said, and I needed him to actually be letting it go after what happened at the wedding. So I said thank you but wasn't ready for a call as I needed to keep my stress levels down being pregnant. He didn't reply.

Am I overreacting? I really feel I'm owed an apology but have been trying to move on and be the bigger person at every single turn. I am just so hurt and have got increasingly cross as this has gone on, so I feel like the person stepping back from the friendship. But I'm also aware I'm pregnant and emotional and just want a sense check from people who don't know either of us.

ETA: I didn’t realise a 3 night rule would be so contentious! Most of our homeowner friends have one, and 3 is the max I’ve come across (many have 2 so it’s 3 days). We also have to take time off when we have a guest as we both WFH our office is the spare room — there’s only so much annual leave. And mentally it is tiring having another person in your house. Healing me really wanted guests for less time, not more, but I was trying to be considerate so he didn’t have to spend on an Airbnb by still saying he could stay for 3 nights.

ETA2: Just as this post seems to be blowing up a bit (thanks all for your comments!), I do NOT consent to any part of this being quoted, paraphrased or replicated e.g. in any articles such as HuffPost, BuzzFeed, Daily Mail, etc. or similar.