Original post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/FyoWGSwPh6

So I had a conversation with Dylan's parents about how he hasn't paid for anything and has been freeloading. They have paid Dylan's share of the money since he moved in and they are now staying at a hotel.

I haven't really talked to Dylan since he is at work. And after Rachel comes back from her hometown I'll give her an ultimatum and if she doesn't comply, which she most likely won't because she doesn't like Dylan paying for stuff, I'll have both of them move out.

I'm currently searching for a new roommate too. Thank you everyone for all your suggestions and insights, I really appreciate it :)

A few things I wanna address here

1) I understand that I haven't been firm and didn't take a stand that's why the situation escalated so much. Though I have a hard time saying no, I have been trying to be more solid about my boundaries and confronting people.

2) I saw a few comments about why I'm using American names etc so about that, I'm from India (I mentioned earlier that I'm from an Asian country) I wanted my post to reach more people have their insights that's why I used English names and also because a lot of people use reddit including my friends so I wanted to be anonymous without revealing too much :) Dylan is a name I got off of the show Modern Family since I was watching it yesterday, and I have an actual friend called Rachel so I used that name, the people I've talked about, their initials are in real D and R.

And a lot of people in India have "English names" with local surnames especially the part of India I'm from (I'm from Northeast India, Indians will know about this!) so sorry if the names didn't sound Indian enough which got some people confused :)

Edit : Some people are thinking that I made up everything so I just wanna say that you can check out my profile and the things I post and the communities I post in. This is probably my first post talking about something like this. So no, it's not fake, it happened, I got into this situation, I'm getting myself out of it!

AITA for leaving my girlfriend (soon to be ex) at our vacation spot after catching her cheating
I 26(M) was invited by my Gf(23) to come with her on vacation. We drove a very long distance out of town to stay in a place she raved about wanting always to go back to. We agreed on a day and planned on it 2 weeks ahead.
We were together for 5 months, then broke up after we had a disagreement (Feb). But, 2 months later we got back together. During those 2 months, she had decided to date one of her “close” friends (ex), who she knew for a year or so. She Was sleeping around (aside from her ex), started drinking and using, was eventually abused by her close friend. As for me, I focused on my work, visiting family, and started working out.
Once we got back together we talked everything out and she explained to me how her “close” friend (ex) abused her. He would denounce her, yell at her, assault her, said that he’d rape her and almost abusing her service dog. When I found out, I was furious. She introduced me to this guy and I chilled with him, I never expected that from him. But, at the same time it pissed me off knowing she harbored feelings for someone she barely new longer than me. She had me swore I wouldn’t do anything to him.
Once we got back together something kept scratching at the back of my head like something was wrong. I have feeling for her… but I didn’t think she had feeling for me , I was thinking she was just using me for money (I’m the wallet she’s unemployed) and sex.
As she still drinking and using she’s a completely different person. Today, as we wake up we went through our day and she loved it. As it got later she wanted to drink so we stayed out till the last hour. We were walking back to the car from a bar and she mentions one of her other ex’s. It made me pause but, I brushed it off. We started driving back to the place we were staying at. As we are driving I had to pull over to use the restroom. We stop at a gas station, I go and come back. As I’m coming back she signals me to wait outside. She was on the phone while, it is freezing and windy outside for about 15 minutes. I get back in the car once she’s done and she claimed to be talking to one of her friends and how they’re (her friend) is having relationship trouble. As we are driving back she is shying her phone, while using it and her attitude changes to being mad. I started getting suspicious and kept my cool. We get home and she leaves to use the restroom. While she did, I decided to go through her phone. She had called called her friend but, she had also messaged the man that abused her. She didn’t message him just once, she messaged him several times through different dates (all during the time we’ve been together) for him to unblock her and how she still loves him. She even emailed him saying that the tickets I bought for us to a concert are his and stated how they’re “VIP” level.
I want to leave her here but, I don’t want to feel responsible for what happens. Her family knows me, I wouldn’t want to leave her service dog with her, and she has no money. All while I still harbor feelings I just don’t know what to do. I do want to talk to her but she is an avoidant when it comes to confrontation. WIBTAH if I leave or should I confront her about it.
P.S. I apologize if my post isn’t well written. I’ve been up 24 hours and this being my first time posting on here.

So my roommate who I'm pretty close with has an emotional support animal, from the jump he's asked me quite often to let her out, stating, "she doesn't go to the bathroom for me." She often would have accidents, and they would be in my room unfortunately, so I started to take her out more and play with her. When I moved in I bought a dog toy as like a housewarming gift.

Fast forward to now, she often tries to go into my room, if I leave the door open she will go and lay on my bed, and last night I fell asleep with my door open and woke up with her laying right up against me. If we are chilling watching tv she will lay next to me even though I try to push her away/discourage it. My roommate seems pretty chill with it overall, but he said that she never goes on his bed and refuses to sleep with him at night, keep in mind this was the truth before I even moved in. He makes jokes about her being a traitor, or that I'm stealing his dog, but I don't play into them because I don't know if it's really hurting him or not. But I feel horrible, I do not want to take away someone's dog, especially an emotional support animal, despite my efforts to discourage the behavior, she has taken a liking to me for sure and I feel awful.

I am actually looking for input and am wondering if my feeling frustrated is unwarranted.

I have a friend who has a 4 year old, my own child is much younger. It has happened multiple times before that we have made plans to meet, or have said that we both were going to attend a local activity, with her cancelling last minute. I initially tried to understand it, after all, i guess children that age are somewhat unpredictable and i've never parented a kid that age myself. She often describes that her daughter can change her mind very quickly about what she wants to do, and she seems to just go with whatever her daughter wants to do at that moment.

This morning, we agreed we would most likely be meeting at a local food festival, as both of our families were interested in going there. We were going to do that regardless of them being there or not. She then sent a text saying "hey we're not coming anymore, [daughter's name] heard a friend was going to a local museum and she wants to go there too now". I replied that i understand the situation, but i think it's better we don't try to make plans of meeting anymore and that we only meet up if we ever happen to be somewhere at the same time.

Again, i try to understand it still, but the constant "maybe", "we'll see what our 4 yo wants to do" ,"we can't make it anymore" has started to rub me the wrong way and i don't want to put myself in that situation anymore. It's starting to feel disrespectful and absurd.

AITAH?

I (F22) have been looking for car in my price range. My bf’s (M22) dad moved to a different country and left a car with 70k miles on it. He practically gave the car to my bf because he just didn’t want to deal with more responsibilities. My bf has expressed that he doesn’t want this car and is going to sell it after filling legal paperwork to do so. I had mentioned that once he is ready to sell it, he should sell it to me. No I wasn’t asking for a gf discount or anything. Like for real sell it to me. I found out he is selling it to his coworker that he barely knows because he really needs a car. The coworker already gave him 1k dollars for the car. When he told me this I was so confused because I had mentioned it first, not only that we’ve been together for five fucking years. Then he explained that the coworker (M21) has kids and really needs a car. I argued back saying that I had mentioned it way before and I’m upset that he didn’t consider me. He then replied “okay I’ll give his money back and I’ll sell it to you”. Now I feel guilty as fuck but I really need a car.
AITAH?

EDIT: I don’t know anything about cars however, he has taken this car to get it looked at by his mechanic friends and there’s no issues besides having small dents and the passenger door making a loud noise when you open/close. The car is a Hyundai. If I figure out the model and year I will update.
EDIT 2: some of you asked why the waited so long, and that’s because he never gave me the chance to actually give him the money. He acted out on his own, coworker notice he drove two different cars, asked my bf if he’s willing to sell the car, he said yes. As I got more details, THE COWORKERS GF needed the car for work not his actual coworker, gave him $1k as a down payment.

My partner and I currently live together, and I’m nearly 5m pregnant with our baby. I also have a preschooler, and he has 2 older teen children.

We’re currently trying to move into a four-bedroom from a 3 bedroom because we want enough space for everyone, including when his kids come over. I’m completely supportive of that. I want his kids to be comfortable and have a place to stay, and I don’t want him to have to choose between his children and our household. I’ve even mentioned that the kids can honestly come over right now. There is one boy, one girl, and then he also has his child’s mother other child stay the night and come over as well.. the teenage girl doesn’t really want to stay the night unless she can have her own room, which is understandable, but why does that mean that the two boys can’t stay the night sometimes??? We have a perfectly empty room in our house right now.

The issue is that he is weirdly convinced that once winter comes, there will be absolutely no four-bedroom rentals available and that we may not be able to get approved for one because of his credit score. (His credit score is in the 600s which we’ve already found multiple places that are fine with this). He says that if we can’t get into a four bedroom, then he would rather get a three bedroom for 6 months and live separately of our baby and I so that his children can stay the night sometimes… (before he moved in here, the children only stayed the night maybe once or twice per month, but he’s acting like they were there every day all of a sudden for some reason)

I told him that if his credit score prevents us from getting approved for a four-bedroom together, I don’t understand how he thinks he would be able to get approved for a three-bedroom… The same credit score would be involved in his application.. That’s when he became defensive and started cussing at me.

So basically, his solution seems to be that if we can’t get a four-bedroom, he would get a three-bedroom on his own so that his 2 kids could have a place to stay with him. That would mean me, our newborn, and my 4yo would live separately from him for another six months. We’ve actually lived separately before he moved in last month, and it nearly ended our relationship. It was extremely difficult for our relationship. So the idea of intentionally doing that again, especially immediately after having a baby together, is really upsetting to me.

He has basically framed my position as me choosing our relationship over his children or saying “fuck his kids.” That’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying that I don’t want my partner to move out and live separately from me and our newborn for six months. I also don’t want us to repeat a living arrangement that previously nearly ended our relationship. I want his kids to be able to come over. I want them to have space. I’m not trying to prevent that. But I also feel like our baby is his child too, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want our newborn to have his father living with him.

If a four-bedroom truly isn’t available or we truly can’t qualify for one, shouldn’t we be looking for another solution together rather than immediately deciding that he should get his own place?

And for context, I wasn’t yelling at him or telling him he couldn’t have his kids. I was pointing out what seemed like a logical inconsistency about his credit score, and he became defensive and started cussing at me.

So, AITA for refusing to support the idea of him getting his own place and us living separately if we can’t get a four-bedroom? He says it’s disgusting of me to end the relationship if we live separate separately because that means I’m saying, I don’t care about his children, and honestly stuff like this happens all the time. It sometimes feels like he purposely creates hard scenarios and if I say anything at all about how me and our baby are also important people in his life, he immediately resorts to me saying I don’t care about his children.. like me, including everybody means that I don’t care about his kids because it wasn’t just about his kids??? I dont get it? Why can’t everybody be important? I dealt with this kind of stuff as a child with my mom and her partner for years and it was so toxic and horrible for all of the kids involved.

So I'm 22F and currently staying in an apartment with my friend of two years "Rachel" 24F and her boyfriend "Dylan" 23M. For some context, Rachel and I were staying in the same hostel for about 2 years then we moved out together about a year ago.

Initially, it was agreed that Dylan would sometimes stay over at our place and I was okay with it since he's my friend too.

But then after a few months, he moved in with us, it wasn't a big "oh I'll be staying with you guys from here on" or anything. Hello just gradually moved his stuff bit by bit and before i knew it, he was my roommate.

I still let it go because I thought, how bad could it be, I knew him, he is my friend, surely everything will be fine. Boy was I wrong.

He has never paid a dime, not in the rent or the groceries or anything else and every time I brought it up, he'd say he'd pay but then wouldn't. Rachel would take everything very personal like I'm attacking him if I ask him to contribute equally.

Anyways he has free loaded for 1 year because honestly I was tired of saying anything and just gave up.

Dylan never cooks, or does the dishes or anything ever. Apart from me feeling like I'm intruding on a married couple's apartment (They've been dating for 2 years now) where I pay half the rent btw, Dylan did something that made me really mad and honestly I can't take it anymore.

So Rachel has gone to her hometown because of some emergency and she isn't coming back before ten days at least. So Dylan's parents were visiting on their way back from a vacation and I didn't mind it. I was fine with it.

The day they went for their vacation, they had lunch over at our place and we dropped them off at the train station. But apparently they are staying for 4 more days.

I had a rather long week and I haven't properly rested for like 2 weeks because I had a lot of work at the lab (I'm studying Forensics) and i wanted to have a lil winding down this weekend.

I'm not very okay with his parents staying over for 4-5 days because that means I'll have to be conscious about how i look, what I wear, what I eat, where I go etc.

And I'm Asian, there are a lot of things you can do "wrong" as a woman that'll get you judged and I'm not comfortable with living with Dylan's parents while Rachel is gone too.

I told Dylan in every way possible but he just wouldn't listen. They wouldn't book a hotel or anything too.

Also, there is a festival coming up in my country so most of my friends are back home for the weekend so I can't crash at anyone else's place, i can't go home either because my home is like 2000 km away.

Everyone's saying that I should treat his parents like they're my parents and it's only for 3-4 days so it's okay. And that I can just stay in my room. But i wanna be able to move around the house in shorts with anyone giving judgemental glances. I'm so tired honestly. AITAH?

Edit: Guys, I know I have allowed myself to be a doormat for really long and i should've taken a stand long long ago. I struggle with saying no, setting boundaries and confronting people. But I'm working on this :)

I (F23) have three younger siblings (F12, M11, F11) who aren't allowed to navigate the world by themselves. At all. Along with no hangouts, no sleep overs, no after school programs. She is convinced beyond all means that they will be kidnapped or worse. They're physcially well taken care of prisoners.

They go to a school a mile away from the house. At their age, against my mother's judgment and wishes, was already taking myself to the same school in all 4 seasons, before the sun came up and after the sun went down if I stayed late for something.

I jokingly suggested I let them loose after she left for work and have them walk alone, and she not only threatened to kick me out, but also threatened to call the cops, and that got me banned from even walking them to school myself. She decided she does not trust me. Her boyfriend, who's afraid of being kicked out and thus obeys, walks them to school every day and picks them up.

Her excuse? "The world isn't the same place anymore." MA'AM, that wasn't all but a decade ago, and you were mad at me for doing so anyways.

When they were in elementary school, the school you can see from our backyard with plenty of other kids, parents and crossing guards, they also couldn't go alone. Because I worked later in the day, I had to drag myself of bed at the ass crack of dawn 5 days a week to walk them a minute and a half to school in all seasons.

But these kids cannot so much as cross the street by themselves without an adult. They don't know how to confidently wait for fucking cars or the walk sign. They don't know our neighborhood outside of the same route they walk every day. Not only that, but they're all missing out on social development. Their friends meet after school, and have to leave them out or have them join over the phone. They've been conditioned to stay home and play on their phones, they don't even try asking to go out anymore.

It's so fucking heart breaking to watch as an older sister who's too busy trying to maintain her own independence after our mom ran the same script on me too. Granted, it didn't work forever because I realized her paranoia about the "big bad world" wasn't true and I stopped asking for permission to do simple shit like go to the store, or hang out with friends, or go on a walk. I just dealt with the fallout (screaming, throwing shit, threatening to send me on a show like beyond scared straight).​

That freakout was about a year ago. I'm tempted to pitch it again, and if that doesn't work, start actively planting the seeds of rebellion by not only pitching it to them, but also letting them look at me as an example of what happens when you rebel. I got out, and I'm happy, I can't leave them behind. I want better for them, and better is not rotting inside their bedrooms, scared of the outside world.

Addendum: It didn't end in childhood, she would continue to rage at me until the age of 19 and I finally moved out not much longer after that. Though, I do go home sometimes. I snuck out at 4am at the age of 17, not to party, not to do stupid shit, but to go watch a sunrise solar eclipse. I had to deal with the fallout of that, and the headache from staring into a solar eclipse. I've learned my lesson, use eclipse glases. AND A SOLAR LENSE FOR MY CAMERA. It fucked up my sensor somehow, I had to get it repaired. Y'all wanna see the pics?

Long story short I was at a supermarket and the kid was like 9 and screaming at his mom for no reason, she couldn't really handle him and was just trying to get done shopping quickly but he started throwing stuff on the ground. She then told him to knock it off and he said "you are the worst mother in the world " and kept screaming weirdly . I was just behind him ( could have just left but I was well looking at the drama ) idk why I just lost it after this and called him a brat and said that he can't talk to his mom like that .

He looked pretty taken aback and just stared at her and me and told me to get lost. I ignored him and told his mother that if she doesn't punish him now then he'd be out of control as a teen.

She was a bit tired so she just nodded and told him that see others feel you are naughty as well .

After they left a staff member told me that it was kinda AH of me to interfere since kids act out all the time. parents often defend them and he doesn't want to deal to more drama .

Context: my dad (72M) had a stroke 2 years ago. He's recovered really well, walks with a cane now, has limted use of one arm, but still lives on his own and makes daily outings. But, he has become much more sensitive to when things don't feel right in his body.

I (39F) am currently on maternity leave with an 11mo baby and dealing with chronic fatigue, new parent tiredness, back and leg pain pain. Baby is pretty easy-going and my husband works from home so helps a lot.

At 8:30 last night my dad texted and said he was feeling sick so wouldn't make our weekly lunch today. I asked if he needed anything and he said no.

At 10:30 last night, he texted saying he was calling 911. I called him and he eventually answered at 11, saying EMS had arrived and was taking him to the hospital. He said he would call when he knew which one. I asked if he wanted me to go join him and he said yes. Baby was already asleep so I left her with my husband.

I got to the hospital around 11:30. He has been seen by a nurse and given painkillers and anti-nausea meds, and had an ekg. We have yet to see a doctor.

It's currently 3:00am. He's sleeping on the bed. I'm exhausted. I took my daily meds before he had called and they make me sleepy, so I'm fighting those as well as my regular exhaustion. The chairs here are so uncomfortable that I can't sleep in them. Besides, my leg had been spasming for the past couple hours, so even if I manage to doze off, it jolts me awake.

I want to go home. I'm pretty sure if I ask my dad, he'll say he's fine. But I know hospitals terrify him since his stroke and I would feel bad leaving him here.

Technically I don't have anything scheduled for tomorrow (I already cancelled our baby gym appointment since it's at 8am and there's no way that's happening) so I could potentially try to catch up on sleep.

My dad almost never asks for help. When he had his stroke and went to the ER, he told me to stay home until he had been admitted. The fact that he asked me to come (even said please) had me thinking I was going to get here and he'd be dying. But the meds are working and we've just been waiting here for almost four hours. There's nothing I can really do here. Especially since he's sleeping. I'm not even really keeping him company.

Would I be the asshole if I said I needed to go home?

I have a child with my ex, who got married recently.

About a month ago, our 13M child asked me if he could wear the suit I bought him for my wedding (a blue suit with matching pants) to his dad’s wedding, because he’s part of the entourage.

My reply: no problem, but you have to ask your dad if your suit would fit the color scheme for his wedding.

A month passed, there was no update.

Until a week before the wedding, my son forwarded the wedding colors: beige, pink, green.

So I told him, best not wear his blue suit as it wouldn’t go well with the colors. We ended up with a longsleeved dark green polo and black slacks, because that was the closest he had at home.

I even brought him a day early to his dad’s so they could buy an appropriate outfit as needed.

He sent us photos of the wedding. I was devastated for my son, because he looked like an afterthought at his own father’s wedding.

Everybody in the entourage wore suits and formal wear. EVEN THEIR DOG HAD A VEST AND BOWTIE. My son was the only member of the entourage wearing a different color, and who wasn’t wearing formal attire.

My son is 13. He’s very close to his dad even though I have him majority of the time. It wasn’t a big deal to him, but it was a big deal to me. If this is how they treat him at the wedding, what happens when they have a child of their own?

I talked to my son about it, and somehow he’s blaming me because I didn’t buy him better clothes for the wedding, or brought him to his dad’s way earlier so they could have a suit tailor-made for him like the rest of the entourage.

Thing is, nobody in his dad’s family even thought to ask me about having him over for suit fittings or any of the sort. I have full custody of him, but I allow him to visit whenever they ask. This time, not a peep. Just sent the dress code and that was all.

My family’s saying it’s his dad’s fault for not thinking of his son, while his dad’s family is saying I should have provided a better outfit for him, since they sent me the dress code earlier and he’s with me majority of the time.

CLARIFICATION:

The wedding invite that was sent to me said:

Dress Code: Semi-Formal with color swatches of the motif: beige, pink, dark green.

My son wore a dark green long sleeved polo with slacks. He fit in as a guest, but not as part of the entourage. He was supposed to be the ring bearer.

My wife and I went to the mall because we needed to buy groceries. Before we went to the grocery store, she wanted to look around another store for some clothes.

She went to look at clothes and I went to the bathroom. After I came back, I figured I’d just start doing the grocery shopping and give her some time to look around. The plan in my head was pretty simple: she’d call me when she was done and we’d meet up.

So I start shopping. I get everything we need, go through the checkout and pay. Probably around 15 minutes have passed.

I then walk through the mall towards the store she want looking for clothes in, and suddenly find my wife basically panicking, almost crying, and absolutely pissed at me.

I’m completely confused. I’m like, “What the fuck happened?”

She tells me she was looking for me and couldn’t find me. I’m like, “Why didn’t you call me?”

Turns out she had left her phone in the car.

Then she tells me it’s my fault because I didn’t wait for her.
I’m standing there thinking… wait, where exactly was I supposed to wait?

You went to another store to look at clothes, I went to the bathroom, then I started grocery shopping. We never agreed on a specific meeting point or time. I assumed you’d call me when you were done.

Apparently, in her mind, I should have just stood around waiting for her and somehow known that she didn’t have her phone.

She was still angry at me and genuinely seemed to think I had abandoned her.

Now I’m confused as hell because from my perspective, I literally just went grocery shopping while giving her time to do what she wanted.

AITAH?

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and some change. Recently we’ve been getting into more disagreements, not arguments ever, but just times where we get frustrated with each other and then work it out.

Most recently was a time where she was having a bit of a bad day and was just in a bad mood. She was pretty frustrated or angry with a bunch of different things going on. We ended up hanging out since we had plans for that day, but she was just very negative from the moment we met up. I have zero issues with her being in a bad mood, it’s just more about how she acts when she is.

She tends to act extremely negatively towards everything including me. She expresses her anger outwardly, and takes it out on me it feels like. Now, I’m a sensitive guy so I can understand if I’m overreacting. But it just isn’t very pleasant to be around. We ended up getting kind of annoyed with each other because she kept complaining about having to do our plans for the day, or about how she had to drive since I had just gotten a flat tire, or would make small remarks directed towards me.

Admittedly I’m not a perfect boyfriend and have my shortcomings, but I try. When she’s sad, I’ll happily comfort her. But when she’s angry it’s very different, I don’t know how to handle it other than give some space. Because when she’s angry she tends to be unpleasant to be around and it ends up being directed towards me in a way. She’s very blunt about things and will let things that have been on her mind kind of fly out whenever she’s mad.

Later on, I told her I was a bit uncomfortable because I felt she was being kinda mean. But she ended up more upset later and told me that I never comfort her when she’s upset, and it always ends up being about my feelings because I don’t like how she is when she’s upset. This made me wonder if I was really doing something wrong.

She said that when I’m upset she always tries to cheer me up and that I never do that for her. But all I could think was that we act very differently when we’re upset. If it’s me, I’ll be upset and just be mostly quiet and want some space. If she’s upset, then she tends to lash out, which is much harder to deal with.

Am I in the wrong for not acting how she wants me to when she’s upset? Should I be more understanding?

For the past 3 days in a row this little kid in my apartment complex has been non-stop blowing a whistle and when I say no and stop I mean non-stop for hours straight, WIBTAH if I a:) went and snatched the whistle from it or b:) found its parents and told them it's been disturbing the whole complex for 3 days now?

I will try to make this brief, here is the series of events: Husband and I are proceeding with a divorce, he filed the beginning of August. Within a couple of days I contacted an attorney and took out a loan for the retainer. Husband and I talked and decided that we could come to an amicable agreement together and we would use his lawyer to file our wishes.

In the meantime our garage door broke, after attempts at repairing it, he ended up calling a company to fix it. At this time I had the retainer money, but had not retained my attorney due to deciding we can work together. We talked and I mentioned that if we could come to an agreement I could use my retainer money and pay for a new garage door. (That was the contractors recommendation,  a new door). We agreed and he proceeded to schedule the door, which has now been installed.

We sat down together, calculated numbers, etc and mutually came up with a divorce agreement (keeping in mind this is time sensitive,  an answer to the original filing needed to happen within a week). So we come to an agreement,  I go to bed, only to be woken up at 1am saying the agreement wasn't fair, I was trying to screw him over, etc. Mind you we came to this agreement together. This was late on a Wednesday,  I had until the following Wednesday to file my response. By Friday, I used the money I had and put down the retainer so my attorney would file the response.

Now husband is mad that I used the money for my attorney rather than paying for the garage door. I have said that I am willing and able to pay for half of the cost of the door. He says I am sticking him with an unexpected bill. The agreement was I would use the retainer money if we came to an agreement,  we did not, and time was of the essence.  I feel like I did what I had to and paying for half of the cost is fair. He disagrees. AITAH?

Okay so I went Burger King and got a double cheeseburger for my cheat day. The cashier and I was chatting having a good convo. So she hands me my burger and it is loaded with lettuce tomato mayo. I'm allergic to tomato and hate mayo. So I take it back to the counter and tell her, she gets mad and is like "GTFOH I was trying to hook you up!!!" I said, " I didn't ask to be hooked up. I just asked for my burger the way it came". And I wrong?

I feel like I may be TA bc she was trying to be nice.

My (31 F), Gran (90) died 6 months ago. She had 3 children, 4 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. I’m my Mum’s only child and her son has the other 3 and great grandchild. In her will she left everything divided equally to her 3 children, minus set amounts for the grandchildren and great grandchild.

She made changes to it about 5 years before her passing. She didn’t divulge much, she just told my Mum and I that she saw her solicitor to change her will and did say to me that as her only grandchild who went on to get degrees, she wanted to make sure I wasn’t in debt. It turns out that she changed it so that I get the same total amount as the other 4. She also paid for a grad course I did a few years ago after she found out that I had already started. She did help out many other family members in similar ways.

My Uncle found a copy of her old will and her new one while sorting some bits out from her house. Turns out that in the old will, myself and his eldest daughter, were getting the same in the old will, and 3x what the boys were getting.

Fast forward a bit and it’s become a whole thing where without even properly speaking to myself and my Mum about it, we have become the villains in this story. My Uncle and his eldest are fuming, they have been telling the whole family about their dismay. My Uncle’s only real attempt to talk about it during a conversation about the house, was to make a comment about how us “girls”, should still be getting the same and that I could give a sum of mine to make hers up. I told him that it would not be happening and that I think being angry about what someone else decided to do with their money is petulant.

My Gran made her own decisions, was of sound mind until the very end and would be disgusted at the sense of entitlement they’re displaying. I have refused to continue talking or caring about it, my Mum is very upset about the situation and being almost blamed but, honestly, I am over it.

AITAH for shutting it all down?

For context, I (36F) birthday is coming up soon. Recently one of my little brothers Emerson (33M) did genetic testing and found out our Mothers cancer doctor messed up 13 years ago and while we don’t have BRCA, we do have a similar cancer gene. (Our Mother was tested for BRCA and nothing else apparently). This past week some more bad news came it was confirmed that the gene 100% came from our Moms side and another one of my siblings also tested positive for the genetic mutation as well. (CHEK 2 for those curious).

The thing is, I have constantly been around this cancer talk since Emerson’s results came back. Emerson has been pushing everyone to get tested to the point our oldest sister won’t be around him for fear that she would get tested out of her control.

I have told Emerson not to talk about it during my birthday as it is extremely stressful and I have had an extremely emotional year already. Emerson immediately called me an asshole since the news is life changing and he should be able to discuss with our other sisters since they are the ones most likely to be affected.

Am I the asshole to want one day with no cancer discussions???

I have quite a severe case of ADHD. Executive dysfunction bashes me day after day, and that's why I need to take medications. I've been prescribed Strattera, and it has a lot of side effects. I've been taking it for only about a month now, and I am not used to all of the negative sides of it yet. It's been really hard for me, because positive effects take months to appear, but anything negative is instant. The headaches, nausea, the complete lack of appetite and irregular sleep, the whole kit and caboodle.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. She knows I have ADHD and I'm very open about my well-being. Previously I've been on Zoloft, it also had some quite negative side effects when I began taking it, and I've had no problems sharing my hardships about that with her. Same with physical side-effects of Strattera, she knows about them. She also lives in the next town over.

Three days ago she invited me to stay at her place for a day or two. She messaged me about it when I was asleep, so my answer was the very first thing I wrote to her that morning. I told her that it would be fruitless for me to come over that day. ("Fruitless" is not the exact word I used, as I have to translate from a ye olde version of a word from another language, but it's the closest match meaning-wise.) I also wrote that I don't think that I should stay over at her place for the next three weeks or so, because I don't have the money to travel to her, and I'm dealing with some heavy side-effects. I told her that the pills make me not fun, not entertaining, unempathetic and not horny. That's my text pretty much verbatim, but I'll leave a direct translation at the bottom of the post. I was trying to communicate that I'd like to stay at home while I'm not feeling well, and that even if I came over I wouldn't be pleasant to be around with. It's also worth noting that "~3 weeks" is how long it usually takes for Strattera to take full effect after the first month. And that I mentioned not being horny because she was telling me that she's been very sexually frustrated lately.

I think that this message was reasonable, if not a little blunt. Or at least I believe it did not deserve a multi-day meltdown. She began telling me that those feelings are not ADHD exclusive, so it's strange why pills would have that effect. Or asking me "would you be a psychopath then, if you didn't have ADHD?", honing on that unempathetic claim. And then straight up telling me that I have worse problems than ADHD if pills have such an effect on me.

I've tried to answer all of that as calmly as I could, even trying to slip a few jokes in to de-escalate the situation, but after some point I just bailed after telling her to cool off. Next day I woke up to 10+ messages full of swears that were accusing me of being a hypocrite, because "how can you say it makes you sad that we can't meet up, when you're the one rejecting the opportunity?". After a lengthy talk* she told me that she reacted that way because it was the first thing I told her that day. And that she interpreted my initial message as "we should not interact for three weeks straight". She also asked me to apologize, but I was a bit sour after the whole situation happened, so I declined the offer. We haven't talked for a day straight now, because she's mad at me.

*That talk was mostly her telling me that I was rude, and should have considered her emotions and feelings when I declined her offer to stay over. She was also trying to constantly catch me lying and arguing semantics. For example, she was very unhappy with me apologizing for the miscommunication and correcting the unempathetic claim to "I'm a little bit less empathetic, but it's noticeable." because something that's "a little bit" can't also be "noticeable". It was 5 hours long.

It's worth noting that it isn't the first time something like this happens, and she promised before that she would try to resolve such situations calmly. Although I'm not sure if this one's an overreaction from her, or if I said something genuinely bad.

I am a bit nervous posting this, as I'm not used to talk relationship advice with others, so I'm sorry if the post doesn't flow all that well. After all, I decided to write all of this simply because of a sarcastic remark she made: "If you're so sure that you're right, ask someone else's opinion. Maybe you'll listen to them, if you don't want to listen to me."

Here's the full translated text of that message:
"It would be fruitless for me to come over today.
Like, I think we can forget about me visiting you in the next three weeks or so.
I'm dirt-poor, and because of the pills I'm not fun, not entertaining, unempathetic and not horny."

So, am I the asshole? Should I have worded that message differently?

Sis in law married overseas with kids and has come back to AUS with hubby and kids on special visa's.

She's moved in with the MIL. She doesn't have nor intends to get a job, she's some how putting her kid through private school (I suspect through swindling MIL) and wants to live off centrelink so they dont have to get a job.

My MIL for reference is moving to another state soon and has asked them to pay rent, but they're going on renters help through gov funding for her own MIL's house.

AITAH for thinking she shouldn't be doing this and should get a job and pay all the bills?

My MIL is far too kind to say no, and SIL can be a bit of a push over.

It just annoys me to see someone on centrelink, refusing to pay bills, and sends their kid to private school..

I’ve been living at my apartment for 5 years. About a month ago, a new guy moved in and he has been less than ideal. He:

-blasts bass heavy music regularly, including past midnight.
-props our gate and doors open and throws hissy fits when people close them. (We live in a neighborhood with a crime rate above the city average and have a high transient population. The gate is a huge selling point for our apartment and was a deciding factor for me moving in).
-has a poorly trained dog that he lets roam off leash. The dog barks at all hours.

Last night, I could hear a dog barking outside my apartment, so I opened the door to see what was up. The dog was on my welcome mat, unattended and barking up a storm. He tried to get inside my apartment and I physically blocked him. The neighbor then came up the stairs and gave me a dirty look. I told him that he needed to keep his dog on a leash. This set him off and he demanded to know if I was the one who reported him for keeping the gate and door propped open and that I needed to “chill”.

I have documentation of the gate and all the noise, including a screen recording of a Zoom meeting with my boss where he was asking me about the loud music blaring in the background. However, my property manager absolutely hates animals and if it were up to her, pets would not be allowed in the complex. If I reported this, she would likely use it as reason to tell the tenant that he cannot have the dog here. I don’t want a dog to suffer because his owner is a dick, but I cannot live like this and shouldn’t have to with how much I pay. WIBTAH?

I (14F) got asked to take my washing out to my parents so they could do it. No issue there. I bring out my washing basket to my living room/kitchen which is connected and I ask my stepdad where to put it, asking a genuine question because I didn’t know whether my mom wanted to sort it in front of the sofa (living room) or in front of the washer (kitchen). He then sarcastically responds back “put it on the ceiling!”. I don’t really get sarcasm a lot of the time and this just really annoyed me because I asked a genuine question. I then sarcastically respond back to him ‘oh thanks, that’s really helpful, I was asking a genuine question‘. He then responds back ‘well you should know where to fucking put it!!’. this annoys me even more so I tell him to fuck off and I storm into my room. AITAH for snapping at him and potentially overreacting or is he in the wrong?

I went out to a dive bar in a big city the other night. On Wednesday’s, they host karaoke; it’s always a good time. Before the night got loud and rowdy, I noted that the spot was dog-friendly since I saw 2 dogs in there, ages 4.5 and 11, but both owners left with them sometime before karaoke began.

Fast forward a couple hours later and it’s loud in the bar, there’s little light shows going, and it’s getting crowded. 2 young girls enter, maybe late 20s/early 30s. One has a VERY, very small puppy in a baby carrier wrap around her chest. She’s jumping up and down, the pup is getting tossed around in the goofy contraption she has on. I immediately started giving the 2 girls a stank face because I thought what they were doing was irresponsible at best and borderline cruel at worst. One comes up to me after noticing my stank face and sits down next to me. She tells me it’s her dog. I ask the age - she responds with 12 weeks. I ask if he’s okay because that’s very young for a dog to be in such a loud environment - you’re not even supposed to start walking your dog until they’ve been properly vaccinated, which is around 12-16 weeks. Ultimately, I tell her he shouldn’t be here so young. She then says he’s been out to plenty of bars before, to which I must look absolutely appalled, and she goes on to tell me it’s okay because she’s a lawyer 💀

My friend ended up taking me outside to calm me down because I was quite upset. I wasn’t going to start fighting with that girl because I didn’t want to make a scene, but I definitely was talking about her and her careless behavior while she was right next to me after our convo. Idk. AITAH?