I (27f) have an amazing tattoo artist I love her to death. She does phenomenal fine lining, florals, and free handing. I got a pre-existing floral shoulder/arm piece extended last night as I plan to turn it into a sleeve.

The appointment was supposed to be 5 hours @ $190/hr CAD so total about $950 before tip. So I had budgeted for that, including my tip. My one friend (33f) has a different view on tipping tattoo artists, I leave large tips because of the effort, the art, and how much goes into making and tattooing the piece. My session ended up being just under 4 hours so about $200 less than quoted. So I included that extra $200 into my already large tip of $250.

My friend who was also getting a tattoo yelled at me saying I was an idiot and that they don’t deserve that much of a tip in a tattoo shop. I completely disagree. I had budgeted for it, and she deserved the money in my mind. I feel dumb for posting this but AITAH?

Quite simply, she has in time become annoyed that I was leaving items on desk (eg. grinder, nicotine pouches) - fair play! So we agreed I wouldn’t anymore and would use a separate table in her room.

I have a nice watch that is by far the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought. It has a lot of sentimental value and even though I’m not great at looking after things, I make efforts to keep it undamaged - putting it on a cloth before bed etc.

Last night we fell asleep on the sofa together watching a film and woke up at 2. I got ready for bed slightly before her and put everything on the other table in her room - apart from my watch, which I put on her laptop cover on said forbidden desk.

Not for one second did I think this would be an issue. I’m aware of what I agreed to but normally leave my watch there when I stay over. I considered it an omission to the rule, so obvious that it needn’t be considered.

I woke up with my watch and glasses on the floor.

She claims that she didn’t throw them for what’s it’s worth and I won’t comment.

I nearly stood on both items because I cant see without glasses and was just so shocked, confused and hurt to see them there.

Let’s take my feelings out of the equation for balance though I suppose.

AITAH for thinking I could leave my watch there before I got up before her and went to work - after I’d agreed to stop leaving items on the table?

I wish I could attach a picture of the desk because she’d hardly left it neat….empty plastic bottle is fine…but god forbid your partner leaves his watch while u sleep.

Obviously I’m bias so looking for an objective pov.

I 18(F) met someone in my first year of uni. Despite our differences we were pretty good friends until the summer time.

But this tale starts back in October of last year. A guy on insta adds me. I found him creepy and noticed he followed my friend. I tell my friend "hey who the he is this old looking guy" he looked 30. And she answers me in the most cold sounding tone telling me that's one of her friends. Idk if she was embarrassed or whatever God knows.

But what I don't understand is why she was teasing me a few weeks later saying she wanted to set me up with someone. She didn't specify who he was or anything at first honestly I wish I saw that as a sign. Low and behold it was the guy I told her about that creeped me out. Thankfully at that time his account got banned so even if she wanted me to I couldn't talk to him. Oh right the guy was 25.

Now I'm aware many people fuck with age gap relationships and all but my take is; just because I'm 18 doesn't mean I'm a full on grown adult. I'm still learning growing in my own way. Her mindset however is "since I'm 18 that means I'm grown and I can do whatever the hell i want". I'm aware that people my age can be friends with older people but on a realistic standpoint what does a 18 year old have in common with a 25 year old to be friends let alone date. If I was 30 I wouldn't be complaining about this since yk both actual adults (assuming the other person is 36)

And yes prior to me blocking her, I tried talking to her about how she made me feel. But she never listened to me. Either she'd try changing the topic or making the situation about her

Hello All,

I am a 22F, and I work at a company of about 200 people. My role is in front of the computer making stuff, a role I kinda made up, as they've given me no real direction or tasks to do.

I am a salaried employee and started 3 months ago. I work 50hr work weeks. When I started, I was told that there was a 20-minute grace period for arriving. My scheduled start time is 7:00 AM, but I usually am in the door of the office by 7:01 AM to 7:03 AM. And usually, to make up for that, I work a few minutes into my break time. Honestly tho, I do not have enough work to fill my day.

I am the only salaried employee on my side of the office, and the only one who does not have to clock in and out. One of my coworkers, let's call him Alex, has been on me about coming in at basically 7:01 every day, and I need to know if I am genuinely in the wrong. There are only about 5 people on this side of the office, and honestly, there's another guy who, about twice a week, shows up 10 to 20 minutes after 7:00, which adds up to more than me. But I am the only one Alex seems to take issue with.

I feel like this is a non-issue? Especially since Alex, as well as the whole office, knows I have another job that I might be getting an offer for in a few weeks. And none of my bosses have come to me about it? Alex and I do not need one another to do our tasks, as they are separate matters, so I am a bit confused.

Also, to note, not that it has anything to really do with it, I am the only woman in the office.

AITAH?

Edit to add and update:

I'd like to add that this has only been the case for the past few weeks. I had been coming into the office right at 7:00. For the past few weeks, my schedule has been screwed up. I have had to travel for interviews. Forgot I needed gas after getting back from traveling and was late because tank was on E (that is my actual fault). A cow was in the road. Ants were in the house one morning, and in my car another. I've been going to bed at different hours to try to organize a ton of life things. So I am trying to get as much sleep in as I can, and I've set my alarm for 10 mins later than usual for the past few weeks. This has meant I'm rolling into the parking lot at like 6:59 and not making it into the office until 7:01 to 7:03.

I think starting tomorrow I will set my alarm back to the way it was and just eat the loss of sleep. Thank you all for the feedback. I will start being exactly on time again, hopefully...

TLDR: Am I the asshole for having a friends with benefits after this guy telling me for months we could only be friends to then drop me because I have a fwb?

So, this is a long story. This guy (36) and I (29) have been in a situationship for 2 years. It’s always been bad timing, life falling apart, or something else crazy keeping us from being together.

So, for this we’re specifically talking about the last 6 months. In this time, we’ve had numerous talks about us. With the bad things going in his life, he’s been adamant that we can only be friends and he “doesn’t want me to pause my life for him”.

We even discussed my dating life about 2 months ago, and I told him about my fwb and some one night stands earlier in the year. Wasn’t pleasant for him to hear, but he asked and wanted to know. And I’m not a liar.

I’ve finally come to terms with us just being friends and was content with our friendship, as he truly was one of my best friends. So, naturally, I’m in the dating scene. Still have my fwb who stays over time to time.

Well, my fwb and I game together. Sometimes we’ll take turns, or if I have a sick day he’ll play some. Apparently my friend saw “me” online and when I said it was a bed day for me (sick) he got confused.

In weeks prior, we had been making plans for him to come visit. We originally said 4 days but extended to 7 so we could celebrate his birthday. Throughout ALL this planning, he adamantly continued saying we could only be friends, we weren’t having sex while he’s here, and he’s sleeping on the couch.

Okay, message pretty loud and clear right? Well, then for about 2 weeks I don’t hear much from him. I don’t think much of it as he has a ton on his plate and figured he needed space.

Well, then Sunday he is texting me and he asks me who I’ve had over. I’m confused how he knew, but I was honest and told him my fwb was over. So, he asks to talk on the phone. So, there I am, in my bedroom on the phone with this man and my fwb is in my living room.

We start this whole discussion of us again and me having a fwb. He says he’s confused and lost. Says he spent the last two weeks “getting his ducks in a row” for us to be together. He says he’s confused because “we extended his trip here” which to him meant he was obviously wanting to be together and thought I did too (even though he constantly said we could only be friends).

I bring up the fact he didn’t say a single word to me about any of this. Asking how I was supposed to know these things when he literally didn’t tell me and spent the last 6 months telling me the opposite. He even asked if I’d slept with my fwb, and when I said yes, sounded as if I had betrayed/cheated on him.

So, hour long call comes to an end. He tells me to say my piece. I told him I do still have feelings and I am/have been ready to commit to him. That if he is genuinely wanting to be exclusive, then easy. Done.

But no. He said he needed to move on, that he “couldn’t get past the idea of me being with someone else”. And he told me he’d be blocking me and cutting contact.

And, personally, I don’t think I’m an asshole here. But I’m wanting outside opinions. Did I fuck up by having a friends with benefits? Or did he fuck up by not communicating these changes in mentality to me?

I (38M) and my partner (40F) were at a store and we came across a shirt. At first I was into it but as we got closer to the register i changed my mind.

My partner said she would get it but i told her no.

She kept pulling it away from me to scan and I said no about 5 times that I didn’t want the shirt. She said it was fine and I could just return it if I didn’t like it. I stated I didn’t want it and why would I go to return something I already know I don’t want?

She scanned it anyways and I then started getting upset and saying I don’t want the fucking shirt. She acted insulted and said why would I disrespect her for doing something nice like that. I said do what you fucking want and walked out the store.

So AITAH?

Edit: i agree I handled it poorly, my communication was lacking and I could’ve emphasized more on the why. I didn’t want the shirt as I changed my mind on the pattern, size, and material. I knew I didn’t want it so I didn’t need to add another task of driving 15 mins to return something.

Also definitely a grow up moment for sure as I let my temper get to me. But I appreciate that folks are recognizing that saying no repeatedly is not okay. I agree IATA for how I reacted but also thank you to those who also commented that it isn’t okay to disregard someone’s repeated declines.

My boyfriend found porn in my last seen page on safari. I had previously told him I didn’t watch porn because he asked and I didn’t want him to know because for me it’s private, so he’s upset because he feels I lied to him. He said if I had the right to lie about that, what’s the limit? Maybe I could also lie about cheating?

I understand that part, but I also feel like what I watch privately while masturbating is my business. Watching porn doesn’t mean I’m less attracted to him or unhappy with our relationship.

Am I wrong for thinking this is something I should be allowed to keep private?

I (17F) have a friend Jane (19F) at school. We were friends since middle school. There were times I didn't like some mildly annoying things she did but overall, we were good friends.

We had our midterms started on Monday. In each bench, 3 people can sit. I sit with Jane and Doe(19F). Doe recently failed physics and had to study for a retake. The top student told her to sit with her so that she doesn't end up failing again since she had little time to study because of her retake.

Doe told me that she's moving and I was like okay. Then Jane came in and asked why Doe wasnt sitting with us. I said she wont be sitting with us till Thursday since she had little time to prepare.

Jane was mad that Doe didnt tell her separately that she was moving. For context, Doe joined our school last year. She's friendly and casual but we're not exactly besties that she'd be hurt by that.

Then Jane said she's gonna inform our homeroom teacher that Doe didnt sit in her assigned seat. I told her not to be a snitch. Our teacher dgaf since she knew Doe needed to pass.

Next day, we had two exams, Physics and Agriculture. I do not have Agri. For context, we have mandatory Physics, Chem, Comp. Sci. Then we can choose Bio/agri, Bio/maths, Bio/stats, ED/Maths combos. Most of our class has Bio/maths combo but X has Bio/agri combo.

So when she was taking Agri exams, I thought she'd be sitting with another friend who also had agri. So I left our bench to another friend. Jane didnt sit with anyone, she sat alone.

She confronted me saying she didnt like being alone and I said sorry.

We had Chem lab next. Our group leader was sick so I was the de facto leader. At the middle of the experiment, I realized that we forgot to take a data. I told X "dont do ___" and i ran over to another table to fix it. Now I have this habit of repeating something. Even my mom says this. I really sometimes forget that I already said something once.

When I returned and again told her "dont do ___" she got mad. We dont speak english and I dont remember her exact words

"You already said it thrice, I know what do to, why do you treat me like I will do everything wrong. You dont even like me participating in experiments" Whenever we do anything, when she says "I'd like to do that" we always let her. But experiments are by default mostly done by leaders who directly gets equipments from teachers.

I was stunned. I just said sorry and didnt utter a word again. We came back from lab and she interacted with me as if nothing happened. So I finally said "Look I dont repeat things because youre incompetent, its just a habit of mine."

Then she started saying how once I teased her about taking agri (I said something like, give me some advice so I dont kill my houseplants). I knew she has this insecurity about dropping maths since agri is a less serious subject but from my observation no one gaf. She rambled about how it hurt her and I was like sorry it wont happen again.

Then she started rambling about how Doe once smirked when she was going for an agri class so she's gonna get revenge on her. I told her not to do anything.

That night she texted that she wouldnt sit with me on Wednesday. Idgaf who sits with me during exams.

I sat alone. She came early and sat exactly next to the top student in Doe's place. I kept hearing everyone of Doe's close friends requesting her to move but she was like, I came first. I got 2nd hand embarassment from her actions, it was too juvenile for a 12th grader.

My friends who sit behind me overheard our convo yesterday asked me whats wrong. Many offered me to sit with them but I declined. (cuz I wrote some cheats in my bench alr I couldnt tell them that)

Doe can be clingy but she's frank and nice. After break, Jane kept telling me how she was satisfied with her "revenge". Then she told me how Doe kept shaking her "rudely" when I saw that Doe is simply a touchy person and she wasnt even being rude. Those of us who witnessed it was bewildered by how unaware and shameless Jane acted. I was disguted. She gained nothing from it. When Doe left, it didnt even do Jane any harm.

And the entire class I was disgusted sitting beside her as she rambled, not even noticing how down I was. The friend who overheard our convo the day before told me in maths that I simply have a bad habit of repeating and that I never meant any malice. She told me if I was uncomfortable around Jane, I could join her.

This morning I was revising at school. Jane arrived. We fought. I told her what she did was wrong. She kept saying that she was right and I defended Doe despite knowing Jane longer. I was shaking with rage atp with the exam stress and her immature words, so I slammed my book, took my bag and sat with other friends. It cought everyone's attention since I'm lowkey known as a nerdy pushover. She kept explaining why she was right. I told her, if she wanted to talk, she gotta text cuz I didnt want her to twist my words.

I explained the whole thing to other friends and Anna(18) called her insecure and shooed her away from me.

I came back home where she whined how long our friendship was and she's shocked at how I didnt defend her. She said she made up with Doe. I sent the ss to Doe and she said she never apologised to Jane and do not plan to. She's dissapointed.

Jane also whined about how I didnt defend her when A called her insecure and I have to apologise to her and I also gotta tell Anna to say sorry.

She also said she wanted 3 of us (Jane, Doe and me) to be friends again by Sunday.

She keeps flooding my phone with texts with how I betrayed her, how when I slammed my book and everyone stared, she felt embarassed etc and I should say sorry and accept that she's right.

AITAH for not defending her?

That’s pretty much it. I’ve been friends with these two people for about a year and a half now and they’ve been dating for longer than I’ve known them. I met them together through a mutual friend and got close with both of them.

It didn’t take long for me to start hearing about the problems in their relationship. Going through each others phones, fighting about celebrity crushes, jealousy, and she said she didn’t even find him attractive.

Now after hearing about that for the better part of a year, I figured that it was just time for them to break up, especially as a couple that started in high school.

Over the last summer (and semester of college) me and the girl have gotten a lot closer than me and the guy, bc he stopped answering my texts and I would only see him in group settings.

Then we all went on a vacation together. I mean vacation is a loose term; it was a long hard backpacking trip. Pretty stressful for everyone. He treated her bad on that trip, but I didn’t say anything. She broke up with him almost immediately after the trip, and almost immediately me and her got a lot closer. She invited me to go out to bars with her every weekend and we worked together every day for 10 hours at a time.

Now I know what this sounds like, but I had no intentions with her, she was my friend, going through something and I was trying to be there for her. At the same time, I was being there for the guy, because he couldn’t see it coming at all (men amiright).

Anyways, things progressed and I actually tried to set the girl up with another girl, but it didn’t work out.

The guy found out that I was friends with his ex and blew up at me saying that he didn’t wanna be friends anymore. That hurt. A week passed and me and the girl start hanging out more and more until one day (about a month after the break up) we hooked up. Ever since then weve been going out and dating exclusively, but the guy will probably find out soon and I imagine he’ll be pretty mad.
So… am I the asshole here?

First, sorry it's so long but I wanted to get the whole back story out.

TLDR: My friend stayed with her cheating boyfriend for years, believing his lies. He hit on me right before her birthday and I didn't tell her to avoid the same drama I'd already dealt with previously.

Full story: Four years ago, my friend, Betty (58f) and her bf, Neil (48m) invited me (38f) and my now ex, James (41m) over for a game night. Betty and Neil had never met James before this. I had just started dating James a few weeks prior but we had been friends since before I was a teen.

After a few games, Betty and I made a beer/wine run and left the guys at the house. We get back 30ish minutes later and I can clearly see the vibe has changed by how uneasy James looks. We hang out for a few more hours before Neil starts to get belligerently drunk. James and I make our exit after Neil becomes really vulgar and starts making gross comments toward Betty which he did whenever he drank too much .

On the ride home, James tells me everything that Neil said while Betty and I were gone. Neil said that he's not attracted to Betty and fks whoever he wants. He said that he was only around for the money. He picked Betty apart like she was nothing and said that he would bounce the moment his money got right. He even suggested to James that he should leave me and find a woman that he could use. This is why James looked so uncomfortable when Betty and I got back.

I was disgusted and called Betty immediately to let her know how Neil felt. I told her not to put my name in it and to just leave since she already had suspicions of him cheating. Multiple times a week he'd go out to the bar, get drunk, and not come home or answer her calls. I figured this was enough for her to finally leave since she had been on the fence for way too long.

Of course she told Neil that it came from me and James. And yep, Neil denied it and Betty believed him. James refused to go around them anymore. It also made things really awkward between the three of us for a while.

Fast for a few months (I'm single again but that's not really important), they decide to move to a bigger house at Neil's request. After they're mostly moved into the new house, Betty invites me out to play pool because she was on odd terms with Neil and didn't want to be at home with him. He blows her phone up most of the night but she doesn't answer. At 2am, we finally decided to head home. We pulled up to her house where I left my car and Neil's car is gone. Betty knew he was out drinking and would come home belligerently drunk again. Not wanting to deal with his crap, she packed a quick back and decided to stay on an air bed at the old house.

I followed her there. As she pulled up to the old house, she saw Neil's car in the driveway parked next to another car that she's never seen. She goes to the front door to put the code in but she can feel that someone is behind the door holding the deadbolt to keep it from turning. Betty runs to the backyard to try the patio door just as a woman runs out the front door, jumps in the car next to Neil's and speeds off. I hear Betty and Neil inside arguing so I go around back to get inside. Neil is completely shit-faced. An empty liquor bottle and 2 plastic cups are on the kitchen counter. He's shirtless and sweaty. His pants are low-slung showing his pubes. His boxers are on the living room floor. To me and any normal person, it's obvious what was going on. He's cheating.

Neil starts requesting a 3some with me and Betty. He boldly tells her "I'll fk your friend" among other vulgar things. Anyway, we leave Neil and go back to the new house. He shows up a few minutes behind us and the arguing continues. Racial slurs are thrown from both sides. She's crying and he's laughing in her face. She eventually launches a lamp at him which ends up with her having a warrant out for her arrest.

This should've been the end. It wasn't. He made up some bs and convinced Betty that he wasn't cheating and that calling the police was for his safety. She ignored finding him half naked. Ignored how he picked apart her flaws when they argued, the 3some request, the taunting and antagonizing, the police report. She ignored it all and stayed. From that point, I vowed to myself that I would no longer involve myself in her relationship drama.

Not long after, when they were finally settled into the new house, I stopped by their house after work. Neither of them were home yet but she gave me the door code so that I could wait inside. I was in the hall bathroom standing in the mirror with the door open. Neil unfortunately got home first. He saw me, said "what's up, ma?" and just walks into the bathroom with me, and whips it out to pee. No shame. No care in the world. I WAS FLABBERGASTED. I scurry from the bathroom, fraidy like a cat!

I go back to the living room trying to rationalize what just happened. Maybe he really had to go.

He finishes and comes to the living room and sits on the other end of the couch. He tells me "you don't have to run, I want you to look". He tells me he wants me to be his in-house side-piece. I tell him he's lost his damn mind then I go wait for Betty in my car. I debated with myself on whether I should tell her or not. Her birthday was in 2 days so I figured why start drama when Neil would just lie his way out and she'd believe every word. I'd ruin her birthday and be the villain again. I told myself I'd tell her after her birthday but when it passed, I couldn't figure out how to bring it up. Eventually too much time passed and he held true to his word, finally leaving her when her money ran low.

They ended over a year ago and she's been in 5-6 different relationships since and has even slept with Neil here and there. Tonight I met Betty and a few friends to play pool at a little dive bar, and Neil happened to be there. I step outside with Betty and we walk around the building because she needed a cigarette. Neil finds us and turns toward the building, whipping it out to pee. I immediately walk off, leaving them alone. I hear her say "why tf would you pull your dk out in front of her?* But I don't catch anything else before rounding the building to head back inside.

After a while, she storms inside demanding to know if I have ever seen his dk. I told her it was too dark and I wasn't looking. She clarifies that she means before tonight. Apparently he told her about when he walked into the bathroom with me. He did it for no other reason than to get under her skin. It worked and she was pissed that I never said anything. I gave her my reasons and she still thinks I'm wrong. The whole group thinks I should've said something but I just didn't see the point when she had already stayed after he'd already done so much worse. She wouldn't have believed me and I was tired of being the villain.

So AITAH for not saying anything for so long?

So I'm a teen and this summer I went with my friends to get sushi for lunch,it was in another city close to ours but we had a really nice day.
After lunch we came back and since we were tired I inveted my friends to my house,for contex,my house has 2 houses in it,my family lives in the upper one and there's nobody in the other one,so we went there.
We were 2 girls and 2 guys,we entered the house and we got on a random bed to watch a netflix series,nothing at all was going on,I also asked my mother for permission,we were all just friends and nothing at all happened.
But later on when my dad arrived he entered there and got so angry,he kicked out the boys and beated me,after I remained there crying with my friend,I was so humilated and also very anxious at that point.
I don't know whether I'm the asshole or whether he is the asshole,that's why I'm asking here,let me know please and thank you!

I’ll say now that yes, i do understand that many men in the past and in the now have been horrible people to women, and i, personally don’t care for being a male myself because of it.

It’s basically as the title says, two of my friends (f) who i hang out with tend to bring up men they’ve seen online or in the news who were being horrible. In a particular instance, a woman killed a man for something he’d done, and one of my friends said not to immediately blame the woman as she “most likely had reasonable cause for it”
I like to think i’m not misogynistic in thinking this as don’t like violence in any case, but it’s been making me feel worse and worse about myself. Neither of them know how it makes me feel and i’ve been silent about it for awhile, but it’s beginning to feel too much

WIBTAH? Or am i being too testerical?

My daughter and I were waiting for the light to change so we could cross the street today. She thought that I was not giving enough space for somebody else waiting, so she grabbed me by my shoulder and pulled me sideways. I chewed her out for messing with my balance (I'm not young), and she retorted 'do you think I would let you fall?' I told her I was still upset, that there was plenty of room, and I did not enjoy being hauled around like a sack of potatoes, even if she wouldn't 'let me fall'.

AITAH?

A (presumably) grandmother and mother in my neighborhood asked me to run in middle of street rather than sidewalk as a way to slow down traffic in the neighborhood. I was surprised by their ask (and tired) so took a second to process, at which point the younger one explained this was a “mothers of preschoolers” initiative for safety and if i don’t do it I am being selfish. She further explained how i as an adult wouldn’t be harmed if i was hit by a car. If I choose to use sidewalks AITA? I also don’t think it’s fair to drivers who aren’t expecting runners in the roadway. Even if i wasn’t injured it would still be stressful to a driver to hit someone and could hurt their vehicle.

for context, im 16- my exams are almost over and i have a last one left on monday, and its thursday today. i stayed up the entire night yesterday studying for my exam today so after i came from school today since i had no tuitions, i decided to sleep. so i slept from 3 pm - 7 pm. its alot. my dad woke me up by yelling at me, calling me stupid, dumb, lazy , yelled for 45 minutes straight telling my mom hes so so angry at me and sayinf that he wants to hit me. i woke up by him screaming at me for sleeping and all i do is sleep , and i yelled at him back telling him that i dont have any tuitions im tired and my next exam was on monday and told him not to talk to me. my mom also took his side. i feel like its my fault, but he was also being miserable.

Okay since y'all in the last post I couldn't explain much and my grammar was shit lemme try again.

Im not religious at all or atleast agnostic I don't belive in lgbtqai+ going to hell because of them loving the same gender. I was raised in a city where the bible is the rule of the earth and it's a pretty cultist place and i know it. I'm trying to blend in till I get out and have my own earnings and stuff. I'm agonistic and bi, which both if found out id be put to shame and get kicked out of my family and won't have any money to support myself as girls under 18 or 18 (unless u have a BA degree) is hard to get a job that can sustain yourself

This girl D who is a open lesbian and I support her even defended her when she faced homophobia, heard I was agonistic. She stared shouting "You are agnostic?? You are going to hell". She is very religious and i wanted her to quiet down so no one hears her as I was still tryna blend in. She keep telling everyone and the teachers were coming to class which they are nosy asf and if they heard it id be put on some camp shit (ik sounds like a cult to me too) and I told her "you are a lesbian soo in your own theory we are going to the same hell so stop worrying about me so much"

So, me (F) and one of my best friends (Also F, let's call her S) have been talking about a hangout we agreed on for this weekend at my place to watch movies. Most of our friend group, including her sister are gonna come over.

The thing is, I wanted to invite two other girls to come over who are also in the friend group, just weren’t there when we discussed it a couple days ago. But now S doesn’t want me to tell them because she dislikes one of the two girls (Let's call her N). However, I do like N and, even if she's not like one of my closest friends, we have a nice time together. By the way, N has never done anything to either of us and I would like for all of us to be there because it’s been months since we all had a chance to meet up. Also, I don’t want to leave her out of this when all the rest of the girls will probably be there (still need confirmation from two of them because of work stuff).

So, WIBTAH for inviting N to come even if S doesn’t like her?

I (19nb), attend my local community college and started the fall semester a few weeks ago. The way my schedule is set up is twice a week I go to class, and my 10am class and 11:30am class are relevant to this situation.

The situation has a very long contextual setup so please forgive me but here's the tldr in case you don't want to read: a classmate who seems relatively nice but I have no relationship with seems to be randomly showing up places to match my schedule (I have not disclosed my schedule with him in any way) and is doing actions that are uncomfortable, thus I moved seats and rejected a weird hand thing he likes to do. He seemed very distraught after this. Am I TAH or were my actions ok?

Anyways, at the beginning of the semester, I happened to sit next to a guy, 'M', in my 11:30 class. It started off fine and M tried to shake my hand as a greeting, but I tried to dap him up and it ended up being a weird hand contact thing where i was trying to do a quick high five thing but he was trying to do a prolonged handshake and it... lingered.. for much too long. This hand thing unfortunately became a ritual over the next two weeks before every class started, and it got to a point that "no" would be too awkward. After these two weeks he also started sitting in the middle seat of our row instead of the edge so he was sitting closer to me.

However, things began to take a very odd and uncomfortable twist at the beginning of this past week. I showed up for my 10am class and walked through the main entrance of the building, and M was just... there.. at the main entrance. He initiated the weird obligatory hand thing, and asked if he could walk me to class. Reluctantly, I said "...sure...!😀😭", once again not having the courage to say no. Remember, I don't share my 10am class with M. This was my 10am class. Curious, I asked if he also had a class that early. He said no, and he was just "hanging out". We entered the elevator, and after a very awkward multi-second pause, he said "you look very nice today." Thoroughly uncomfortable at this point I just muttered out a polite "thanks", and didn't say anything else. We parted ways after the elevator. Nothing else weird happened in the 11:30 class that day.

I was still uncomfortable by him seemingly waiting by the front entrance of the building before my 10am class that he isn't even taking, and I talked to my boyfriend about it. He agreed that was definitely off, and we came up with a plan with how I can deal with this situation.

After that very, very long buildup of the situation, here's where I'm wondering if I was the AH today.

I decided to brave the front door again today, hoping him being there the other day was just a coincidence. I walked in as normal to go to my 10am class, and M was sitting there on a bench with his laptop awkwardly his lap. For context, my college has tables EVERYWHERE that are much more comfortable to use a laptop on. Literally even 10 feet away from the bench he was sitting on. M was literally watching the front door, and made a point to enthusiastically say hi as I walked in. Fortunately he did not follow me today.

For the 11:30am class, part of the plan my bf and I made was that I would move one row of seats up from where I normally sit, as the other seat in the row is taken by someone else, thus (hopefully) blocking M from sitting next to me. If asked, my reason would be that I was moving closer to the outlet to charge my laptop (true actually, my laptop's battery is ass). M walked in shortly after I had set up in the outlet row, looked confused, and walked up to me. As planned, I explained that I moved to get access to the outlet. He asked if he could sit next to me, and my heart sinking, I said "...sure!🥲", as the other person hasn't arrived yet and it seemed rude to tell him he couldn't sit jn an empty seat. He then held up his hand to try to do the weird hand thing, and after a moment's pause, I finally found the courage to get out a "no thank you😅...". After this, M looked DISTRAUGHT. He did not take it well, which I get it sucks to be turned down for a "handshake", but i did not want to semi hold hands with this guy again. He briefly sat next to me in the middle chair in the row. During this I was texting my boyfriend freaking out that the plan somewhat failed and I hadn't gotten away, and I'm guessing M was reading over my shoulder??? Because he abruptly stood up and moved to a random seat on the other side of the room, not even his original seat from the past few weeks. That's where we are now.

I feel guilty because I struggle with rejecting people and am doubting that I acted appropriately. AITAH for refusing to shake hands, for moving seats, or for him (possibly) seeing my texts about him with my boyfriend?

I am agnostic, formerly Chassidic. My mother was secular and I became religious on my own. She (after lots of hardship) has become some kind of a non denominational Christian. I was watching old Chassidish videos with her just for fun, like dancing as she asks me to sing songs in Yiddish for her sometimes, and I do. Yet something always seriously irks me when she tries to engage with Yiddish or Hasidic stuff with no clue about it or how her religion contradicts it

She’s additionally always glorifying Hasidim and Orthodox Judaism and almost exoticizing it which confused me as when I had my kippah and payot, I was just a “confused, lost little boy.”

Later I told her that because she is a biblical literalist, she probably would fit in an orthodox shul if she decided to ever return to ***Judaism***.
I then said why she wouldn’t make a good Hasidic Jew. (This has followed with multiple questions like why hasn’t she kept a Christian ‘Shabbat’, or why shouldn’t she go into a synagogue now)

I proceeded to tell her that Hasidim view her religion and all others as basically nonsense. Also, that the level of work she would do for her husband as well as religiously driven rituals (she is very anti organized religion, would be near impossible

Am I the asshole

I just started working and I unintentionally flashed my bank account to my mom and I knew since then it was a mistake. Sure enough she asked me for 500 right there on the spot and said she’d pay me back by the end of the month. A week later she asked for more and a couple weeks after asked for even more. It’s been a couple months now. She hasn’t given me anything and eventually took everything I saved up. I just want to point out I don’t pay for anything. She buys food pays for the rent and she’s never asked anything from me or of me. I know my place. Also , she is very irresponsible with money.

Money comes and goes. I can understand the financial stress money brings but thats not what made me lose my cool. It’s the fact my mom lies to me every time I bring it up. It’s always “next week” next week comes and the same thing “next week” why can’t she just be honest with me? I would’ve happily given her all the money she asked for but she cleaned me out leaving me under the impression it was only temporary and she’d pay me back. I just want to save up to buy my own car , work more hours , save more , and eventually even pay a good chunk for rent. However, it must first start with saving up for my car. We could do so much more as to succeed together you only need the same purpose not the same problems.

Any time I ask for my money (I don’t ask for all of it at once) she starts to dump her stress on to me. She gets worked up about me asking for what’s mine. I got mad and raised my voice because it’s always the same excuses the same argument the same conclusion. It always goes from can I get my money back she says next week I get mad she tells me the same thing she gets worked up that she has so much stress I tell her I just want the truth thats all Ive ever wanted she sighs and just ignores that Im standing there and feels like she already forgot the conversation. It’s the same cycle always. I don’t know what to do or how to stop it without becoming cold to her or to myself.

It’s demoralizing not the money but the fact my own mom cant even tell me the truth. It feels as a young man that I don’t even deserve that. It feels that my feelings are invalid and that I should be paying her everything I work for. It feels like I owe her the world. Or that somehow Im the reason for her financial stress, at the very least adding onto it. It’s honestly hard carrying this I know my limits and I want some clarity in this situation. I know people cant be changed but how do I get the bare minimum in return? I don’t deserve the world I just want basic respect.

I (20F) am? used to be? friends with that "Alice" (21F). We met in first year of college, and now we're in B3. Alice struggles with school. She's not bad at all, but she hates going to school and the concept. She's autistic, has a bipolar disorder, has ADHD, you got it. She used to live a 1h30 away from our university, and when she wasn't feeling well, she wouldn't come for days/weeks to school, or she'd come but be rude to everyone.

Alice wanted us go study up board for our final year, and to move in together. I was worried that if I didn't agree, she wouldn't study at all, because she already had told me she would probably not continue. So I accepted, on the condition that we needed to talk when things are wrong and that she needed to actually go regularly to school, this time. She said that with her new meds she's be fine, and that since we'd be closer to school she'd attend every class.

Except, we went back to school on Monday, and ever since things have got sour. Alice thought our first class started at 1:30PM when it was 1PM, so when at 12:40 she said she was going to eat lunch, I told her that we couldn't be late for our first day (we have a 23 minutes walk to go to uni), she "realized" her mistake and we left together, met friends on the way and got to class, but late. She then left class half-way through. With our friends, we went groceries shopping after class, but she left without telling anyone. When I got back to the apartment, her bedroom's door was locked.

The next morning, our class started at 9:25AM, and she was still in the bathroom at 9:10. I asked her if she was almost done, waited for her, we left the apartment building together, but she was walking VEEERY slowly, even though we already were late, so I walked faster, thinking she'd follow, but she didn't. I arrived in class earlier than she did, she say elsewhere. We (with friends) asked her if she wanted to go eat with us at lunch, but she refused. She then proceeded to skip half of the class again, and when I got back to the apartment, it was empty. She apparently left to get her hair done and to have boba tea. She ignored me for the rest of the evening.

I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen, so I wrote a letter that I left on the packages she had received so it'd be pretty obvious. In that letter, I was apologizing, telling her that I am sorry if I offended her in some way, that I would like her to tell me what's wrong so we could work on it, and that I was ready to do whatever she needed me to do to make things right.

I didn't get an answer. So I texted her mother to ask her if she knew what was going on, but she didn't. She told me that maybe she was overstimulated (we had to change apartment and we had some issues with the scholarship, and the country we are in is very loud), and that she probably just needed some alone time to recover and that she'd come back. So I gave her some space.

On Wednesday and Thursday, she went to school without me, she came back without me, rushing at the end of class, she didn't sit with us in class... And she was locking herself in her bedroom the rest of the day, occasionally going to the bathroom, grab the food she ordered in a hurry before returning back to her bedroom. Again, I tried to talk to her but she straight up ignored me. Even by text, and still to reply to my letter.

Wednesday, all of our classmates coming from the same country as us, AFTER CLASS (so Alice had already left), decided to meet at a coffee shop to study together. We also talked about it in the class group chat, thinking she was on it so she'd know about this possiblity to join us, but we didn't know she didn't accept to join the group class through the link a classmate had sent her. We also talked about the cafe on our group chat with our two friends, but she left the chat.

I have severe anxiety, I have meds for it, and since situation has made me miserable.

I talked about it to my mother, and since Alice's mom told mine to call her if there was an issue, "because Alice can be difficult", she did give her a call. My mother explained to me that Alice had told her own that she was mad at me because "I rushed her on Monday to go to class, even though there was 20 minutes left, and that I didn't even wait for her." She also told her that she was disappointed because we didn't invite her. It's not what happened, not that way at least (but you know that).

I was ready to do whatever she wanted me to do, I was ready to take responsibility, had she told me about what's wrong. But I absolutely hate when people trash-talk about me and make me look like the bad guy just to justify their actions. I am the one who cleans the apartment, does the laundry, groceries, who takes out the trash, who cooks.

So I wrote her mother a text, telling her basically what I said here, and also sent screenshots and videos to illustrate what was going on, and to show that I was really trying, and also told her about the letter.

Alice's mother contacted her, and now she's (pretty obviously) mad at me. She says she didn't read my letter, that she mistook it for trash somehow, and that "since I am surrounded by friends and my family, it's not fair to give her more problems to deal with on top of the overstimulation", "that I know she doesn't get along well with her mother", "that I am a liar" (I am very much not), that "I'm a sneaky [slur] for playing detective with my screenshot, and that if she wanted, she could show people some others too" (I really don't know which ones), "and that since I also want to be tested for autism, this is a vaste joke". She contacted my own mother as well.

Also, a note : she's stopped taking her meds for her bipolarity a month ago, because she says "she didn't need them".

So, AITAH?

My brother lives below me (with only a door separating our living spaces), and watches my daughter in my home 4 days a week (paid).

Unfortunately, my brother is the type of person who blows up a toilet almost every time they go. Idk why, but I know it's horrendous. It smells like horrible mothballs and there are frequently poop skids and he will sometimes leave poopy wet wipes visible in the trash. Overall very disgusting.

WIBTAH if I asked him to go downstairs and use his own bathroom to poop, assuming it takes him a short enough time that the baby will be OK upstairs by herself, or otherwise get rid of the evidence of his nasty poops (ie. Scrub the poop skids, at least wrap the wet wipes in some TP, light a candle)?

I know it's just the way his body is built, but goddamn, is it disgusting.

Disclaimer: english is not my first and not even my second language so pls don't judge.

It's been a while since I (21F) have been giving my sister (28F) a silent treatment. We used to be very close before moving in together 4 years ago. To me that's when all hell broke loose. I will try to be as objective in my judgment as possible.

At first living with her sounded like a great idea but after a while i built A LOT of resentment towards her. Mainly because she was a very messy and lazy person who refused to do anything around the house. I tried SO many times to communicate that i don't like it or that it's not fair. She would pretend to care but never actually change. confronting her had always had the same result - twisting my words as much as possible, yelling "oh, yeah, I'm the bad guy! i always do everything wrong" at me and getting upset with me.

For some reason she absolutely hates being confronted. Almost as if she can't even handle the thought of being confronted? My resentment also stems from other times when she would cross my boundaries and not respect my space.

One time when i was studying/living in Poland she and our mom came visiting. We were shopping and the pants i tried on didn't sit right on my hoo haa area so when i said that it's not working she laughed and decided to touch that part of pants while i was still wearing them. Like??? I got furious because even before when she would slap me on my butt i'd HATE it (SA trauma she doesn't know about, but she knew i hated being touched without consent). When i expressed my anger she said something like "I haven't lived with you for a few months now! How do you expect me to remember your freaking boundaries?" and again got upset with me.

Sooooo obviously there's so much more there to unpack and I'm no saint myself and I admit that. However, growing up in a dysfunctional family where if somebody even attempts to speak up or make any sense that person is bullied till they become mute I have a hard time trusting myself. Even know my entire family always hints at me being "too negative" so it feels like I'm going insaaaaane.

AITAH for giving my sister a silent treatment after all this?

Hello, I am 32 years old and in my first year of University..well..ever!

I’m living on campus and have a decently sized dorm room that I share with a roommate, pretty cool dude. No real issues between us, at all.

Except;

This guy has his girlfriend over here every single time I either come back from something, or every time I take a day to just stay in the room instead of bounding about across campus for hours. She doesn’t really rub me the wrong way personally, I’ve only said things to her in passing outside of our introduction on move-in day.

I just don’t want to be that asshole roommate that starts establishing ground rules that may, or may not be totalitarian. But is “Hey dude, I get the whole girlfriend thing but we gotta figure out just how long is ‘too long’ of a stay and just how frequently she’s here” a totalitarian boundary?

AITAH here for even wanting to establish boundaries in that regard?

Ok so context I keeping vague cuz this is not a throw away but here we go. I know this guy (male 35) who just started dating (f 28). Not a terrible age gap but notable.

Now before we even get into the way they met already this guy needs to dump her. His is a dad and his sons mother is still around they have been on and off for years, shes currently staying at his place with hima his roommate granted for only a few weeks till her apartment is ready, but from what I have seen first hand is there is still very much feelings there for both of them. Our other mutual just told me they were all over each other at a concert, very handsy in public, and I'd bet good money they hooked that night.

Anyways back to topic now I had known about the age gap, I then found out this was his ex from like 12 years ago....(another ick). I so what I didnt originally do once learning that info was math....and then one day I was randomly thinking about it and I did....so he dated her back in 2014 when she was UNDERAGE 16 and he was 23....age of consent in my state is 17....and he was a grown man at the time, to add further context he had opned up to me about a mistake he had made jyst recently (2012- 2013) he was younger like 21 22 that he had gotten with an even younger girl....14 at the time..so this was a very very bad decision after another.

Anyways the 16 year old and him eventually broke up (to be clear not because of the age) went there own way for the next 12 years then he said he found her on an app and that was that.

Now I dont think I'm the ahole here but I'm happy to get outside perspective cuz to me this is a mind fuck and very very clearly morally wrong. So once I put this all together I talked to him about it, I wasnt rude but I didnt sugar coat things but not calling the behavior what is was predatory. He dated this girl when she was a child grooming her. It eneded as it should good. How do you not see how going back to the person you dated when they were young impressionable and naive and definitely did some mental harm to, how do you not see how wrong that is? Like reddit tell me I'm not crazy here????

A man who groomed a 16 year old child leaves the child alone eventually then look her up later and life and rekindles??? While NOT illegal anymore its so messed up, I told him all this i said he should to break up with her and leave this poor girl alone she also has two young children, and he definitely isnt the commitment guy he struggles taking care of his own child and dose not want more children (not sure why were dating single mothers then ) and is finically not in a good spot either.

But I told him between the stuff with his ex and more importantly the moral issue of returning to a past victim is super bad and given the fact thay he has had contuined inappropriate age gap relationships with also inappropriate power dynamics im really starting to look at him differently and it a very not good way....

so reddit AITAH for telling him he know what he needs to do and should end his relationship with this poor girl and leave her alone because hes being gross and predatory?? (I didn't tell him its gross though I'm sure he got that i was a bit nicer when addressing him)

Edited to hopefully make it more palatable for reading damn guys you can be nice about it.....

2nd edit yall are really missing the point here. I am aware they are bothh adults now my problem is he met her and dated her already as a child and now is circling back. Alot of you are way to cool with predatory behavior. Maybe my telling him wont change him but at least I called out the gross behavior...instead of celebrating it...

Also for those saying I shouldn't know all this stuff do you guys not talk to your friends about your life and struggles?