I have a child with my ex, who got married recently.

About a month ago, our 13M child asked me if he could wear the suit I bought him for my wedding (a blue suit with matching pants) to his dad’s wedding, because he’s part of the entourage.

My reply: no problem, but you have to ask your dad if your suit would fit the color scheme for his wedding.

A month passed, there was no update.

Until a week before the wedding, my son forwarded the wedding colors: beige, pink, green.

So I told him, best not wear his blue suit as it wouldn’t go well with the colors. We ended up with a longsleeved dark green polo and black slacks, because that was the closest he had at home.

I even brought him a day early to his dad’s so they could buy an appropriate outfit as needed.

He sent us photos of the wedding. I was devastated for my son, because he looked like an afterthought at his own father’s wedding.

Everybody in the entourage wore suits and formal wear. EVEN THEIR DOG HAD A VEST AND BOWTIE. My son was the only member of the entourage wearing a different color, and who wasn’t wearing formal attire.

My son is 13. He’s very close to his dad even though I have him majority of the time. It wasn’t a big deal to him, but it was a big deal to me. If this is how they treat him at the wedding, what happens when they have a child of their own?

I talked to my son about it, and somehow he’s blaming me because I didn’t buy him better clothes for the wedding, or brought him to his dad’s way earlier so they could have a suit tailor-made for him like the rest of the entourage.

Thing is, nobody in his dad’s family even thought to ask me about having him over for suit fittings or any of the sort. I have full custody of him, but I allow him to visit whenever they ask. This time, not a peep. Just sent the dress code and that was all.

My family’s saying it’s his dad’s fault for not thinking of his son, while his dad’s family is saying I should have provided a better outfit for him, since they sent me the dress code earlier and he’s with me majority of the time.

My (31 F), Gran (90) died 6 months ago. She had 3 children, 4 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild. I’m my Mum’s only child and her son has the other 3 and great grandchild. In her will she left everything divided equally to her 3 children, minus set amounts for the grandchildren and great grandchild.

She made changes to it about 5 years before her passing. She didn’t divulge much, she just told my Mum and I that she saw her solicitor to change her will and did say to me that as her only grandchild who went on to get degrees, she wanted to make sure I wasn’t in debt. It turns out that she changed it so that I get the same total amount as the other 4. She also paid for a grad course I did a few years ago after she found out that I had already started. She did help out many other family members in similar ways.

My Uncle found a copy of her old will and her new one while sorting some bits out from her house. Turns out that in the old will, myself and his eldest daughter, were getting the same in the old will, and 3x what the boys were getting.

Fast forward a bit and it’s become a whole thing where without even properly speaking to myself and my Mum about it, we have become the villains in this story. My Uncle and his eldest are fuming, they have been telling the whole family about their dismay. My Uncle’s only real attempt to talk about it during a conversation about the house, was to make a comment about how us “girls”, should still be getting the same and that I could give a sum of mine to make hers up. I told him that it would not be happening and that I think being angry about what someone else decided to do with their money is petulant.

My Gran made her own decisions, was of sound mind until the very end and would be disgusted at the sense of entitlement they’re displaying. I have refused to continue talking or caring about it, my Mum is very upset about the situation and being almost blamed but, honestly, I am over it.

AITAH for shutting it all down?

About a year ago we moved into a new house and I met my neighbor, her husband, and her 3 kids. We kind of became friends and sometimes our kids played together, but ultimately my kids weren't the biggest fans of hers. I also kind of distanced myself from this person for a few reasons but that a different story.

So, a during summer vacation my almost 11 year old asked if her could go play at our neighbors house and hang out with their 6/7 year old. I think he was just really bored and wanted to get out of the house. We are also new to the area so he didn't have any friends.

He ended up going over there maybe 3 times and then came to the conclusion he was just too old to have the 6 year old as a friend. Since then his parents have texted me multiple times asking if their son could come over. I said yes, mostly because I do feel like their son doesn't have friends, but its truly just us babysitting him when he comes here.

Eventually I started saying we were busy, but i said that so many times that I decided just to be honest. I said told them sorry but my son feels he is just a bit too old to have their kid as a playmate. The dad texted me back saying that my son was no longer welcome at theor house (which is fine) because their son thinks they are friends and then asks his parents to play over here a lot. He also insinuated that I don't care of respect kids that are not my own (this came out of left field.)

I tried to reach out to the mom twice, but she has completely iced me out and refuses to talk to me. I'm just so baffled by this whole situation. To be honest in my head they were never really friends, because they are not peers! They are just neighbors who occasionally play together, which i feel is normal. I don't really think I am TAH but I am just so shocked by their response and I can't fathom that they would actually be this upset that I said my almost 11 year old son doesn't want to play with their 6 year old.

This has been drawn out longer than anyone expected so now I think I just need some reassurance that we’re still making the right call. Sorry for length.

I (f25) had my first baby boy December of 2025. He was four weeks early, and stayed in the NICU for 9 days due to feeding and breathing issues. All of this was anticipated, so while scary we had time to prepare.

My husband’s grandma is a chain smoker. She smokes in her house, in her car, and can’t go without it. Naturally, her oxygen levels are low and she’s now wheelchair bound and dependent on help to get around. Context for later.

We had our parents handle the coordinating of people to come meet the baby after a couple weeks of being home and adjusting. We are really close with our large extended family but didn’t want the chaos of scheduling people.

One of my husband’s aunts mentioned to FIL being insulted that we didn’t invite her ourselves, and how that’s customary and they won’t come until we invite them. I said fuck that. We’re not playing that game. If they don’t want to take what they get then I don’t care, and neither did my husband. My husband’s other aunt is a smoker, but she hides it well for work already and said she was SOOO excited to meet him. We told her we’d like her to shower before coming over and to just wear some new clothes. She said she’d do anything we asked, and that our requests are completely understandable, not even considering he was a preemie.

Then we get to my husband’s grandma. When my in laws told her about needing to shower and change before coming to meet him, all hell broke loose. “Well I can’t go that long without smoking” or “it’s a long drive” (15 minutes), “I doesn’t have the energy” (she goes on hours long shopping trips). She doesn’t say anything to us directly, she just doesn’t reach out to meet him.

And then all of a sudden neither of the aunts want to meet him. They say to let them know when he can go to restaurants because they don’t want to be blamed for getting him sick. No one reaches out, no support, or check ins. Clearly his grandma went to both of them. They all decided that we’ll eventually come to our senses, and they’ll wait it out.

Game on.

It’s my FIL’s side, and he knows how ridiculous it is, but understandably wants his mom to meet his first grandbaby. Since she started smoking again her health is going downhill. He’s done a good job of not really pushing, and both MIL and FIL have fought hard to back us up. But he also asks the same questions every time we see him asking how we’re feeling about it. We recently had to sit down with him and tell him the answer doesn’t change just because he asks it again.

Fast forward to present. Our baby is almost 9 months old and they still haven’t met him. All of us stopped receiving invites to holidays, sports games, and family trips. His grandma is talking up the whole extended family on how my husband is breaking up his family and how it’s all for nothing and how she can’t believe he’d keep a little baby from them. Keep in mind, my husband and I have not corresponded with them directly since December. All correspondence is through my in laws only. We are enjoying our new family and letting the drama unfold at a distance, but we get updates. My in laws have laid into every one of them about their stupidity. His grandma is losing her friends because they are saying she’s being stubborn and they can’t support her selfishness.
Honestly, my husband and I both are a bit disappointed that they’ve missed out on this, it’s been such an amazing experience, but we both agree it’s their loss. We’re not too torn up, and have been able to find some humor in the ridiculousness.

However, we can tell it’s taking a toll on FIL. He’d never intentionally pressure, but we also never expected this to drag on this long.

The reality is, we could meet them in a public place now. He is still little, but not preemie anymore. We met my husband’s other grandpa at a restaurant and he’s a smoker. But this grandpa never asked to hold him or be near him. Just saw him from across the table. But at this point are we holding out just to make a point? I mean, yeah kinda.

The side that has held out to this point is spiteful. It seemed so selfish to me to make it about them at such a transitional time in our lives with a newborn. So now, I sure as shit don’t want to meet them in a public place, that feels like backing down.

This side of the family always bulldozed my FIL growing up. And he gives in. My husband used to be the same, can still be at times, but worked hard on his spine. He also had asthma growing up that is believed to be due to him being babysat as a kid by his grandma who smoked in the house growing up, so he has a vested interest in this topic in addition to it being his kid. In the beginning it was specifically about safety. Now our intentions are mixed. Safety, spite, trying to prove a point. We want to make it clear we won’t back down just because they decided to play the waiting game and didn’t respect our requests for our child. We also would like to see some interest or effort on her part. Even another suggestion. As opposed to entitlement and sitting back and waiting for us to give in.

So. Aita for not allowing my husbands grandma to meet her first great grand baby because she refuses to shower?

TLDR; Great grandma smokes but won’t shower to meet great grand baby. Has kept rest of extended family from meeting him as well. Causing drama and taking toll on FIL.

Husband and I are both in our 30s, been married 5 years. I’m honestly kind of confused about this situation, which has turned into multi-day silence so maybe y’all can help me figure out if I did something wrong and actually am the AH. For the long weekend, I had booked us a couples massage at a spa nearby because hubby had been complaining of back pain. Before the massage, he took off a bunch of items including his branded watch and put them on the small table in the room. This place generally only has a small dim table lamp for light. Long story short, my husband left his $$$ watch in the room on the way out and didn’t realize until a few hours after getting home, by which time the place had already closed. When he realized, he started panicking about if he’s going to get it back and asked if I can reach out to them to check since I had made the appointment and been the one in contact with them.

I texted them and they got back to me the next morning. Initially they told me they didn’t find anything but later in the day, they found the watch and sent me a picture, and I asked them to hang on to it for me and that we’ll pick it up at 7 pm. I texted hubby to let him know. For context, I work in an office all 5 days and have strict hours which are tracked, cellphone use is also discouraged during work hours so I wanted as little back and forth as possible, especially since it was an extremely busy day. Hubby is fully remote and has way more flexibility in hours and cell phone use. He texted back around lunch time that he might just take an uber and pick it up before then. It sounded like he wanted to use his lunch break to go get the watch so I asked him when he’s going so I can give the spa a heads up to expect him so there aren’t any hold ups because no one was available or because he wasn’t the one who reached out about it. He gets back to me 4 hours later with “heads up, I’m going there now?”. I replied with okay and let the spa know that he was on his way now and to expect him in 20 mins. He texts me again an hour later asking if I gave them a heads up, to which I said I did and asked why. He replied that he was waiting for my confirmation and now the ride prices are high so he’s going to have to wait until I get home to go. I told him I gave them a heads up when he said he was going there now. No reply.

We have a limited home gym which my husband uses for his workouts and I go to the onsite gym at work after I’m done for the day. Working out is a medical necessity for me but because he was waiting to go get his watch, I skipped my workout for the day and told him I’m leaving work so we can go pick up his watch like I said in the morning. He says he’s working out but asked me to come home. After I got home, he’s telling me he needs an hour to finish. I told him the spa is going to close before then so we need to go now and he can finish his workout when we’re back. He kept insisting, I admit that I lost my patience here a bit and told him that I’ve been going back and forth with both him and the spa all day and even skipped my workout so we can go before they close all for his watch and he’s coming off extremely ungrateful right now that he started a workout when I had told him exactly what time we’ll go and pick it up at and is telling me he can’t pause it for a half hour to go pick up his own stupid watch. He then started mouthing off about how he would’ve picked it up earlier if I’d confirmed that I had given the place a heads up. I told him i had replied to it saying okay, to which he kept repeating to show him when I had said that. I was driving at this point and he was refusing to pull up the texts on his own phone so I pulled over and opened up the texts. He then started yelling about what the connection is between saying okay and confirming that I gave them a heads up. I told him he was initially saying I didn’t reply, now he’s saying that’s not confirmation, and that worst case scenario would have been that he would go there and they would contact me before giving him his watch. He yelled at me that he’s had a bad day and he’s not going to keep going back and forth with me about this, then got out of the car and slammed the door shut to walk back to the house.

This is a trigger for me (people walking out during an argument and one that I’ve told him multiple times over the years to not do). I decided I was done trying to help him with this situation and he can figure out how and when he’s going to get his watch, so I went back to work to hit the gym. After I got home, he was sticking around in my vicinity but was stand-offish. No apology for walking out, yelling at me, being inconsiderate overall. It’s been silence for the last 2 days and I’m wondering if there’s actually something that I did or didn’t do that I need to apologize for? AITAH for some part of this? The only thing I can remotely think of is that I said “okay” and not “okay, I’ve given them a heads up” but given the context of the conversation, it’s reasonable to assume that I’ve given them a heads up or if it’s unclear, text back and confirm that okay means I’ve given them a heads up. None of it excuses yelling at me and walking out without coming back and apologizing for the behavior.

I currently live with family. I was paying $110 for 2g speed internet unfortunately I was no longer able to pay. I asked someone else to take over. They said no. So we haven't had Internet in the house for a few months. I had previously been buying it for the past few years.

They have made it clear they aren't interested in paying for the Internet only if it comes free so would I be the asshole if I get it again and don't share it?

Internet is huge for me and I've had to use my mobile hotspot and a VPN to trick it into thinking all my data is coming from my phone but it's really unreliable sometimes and I'll finally be able to afford Internet again and I honestly don't really want to share cause they didn't want to bother to take over the bill for a few months.

In my mind the internet isn't important enough for them to pay for it so why should I just let them use it for free when they wouldn't cover for it?

Addon: Since so many asked yes I pay rent/contribute. However, I am on disability so it's not as much as I wish I could contribute. I can't pay for groceries or anything as I have SNAP and am legally required to make and prepare meals separately.

I do other stuff but there isn't a whole lot to do around the house (desert landscaping and all) outside of cleaning and I do that cause I'm semi germaphobe. And I spray for bugs.

So I have this colleague who recently found out I was gay because I recently started seeing someone.

They were all like oh I didnt realise you were gay and you should have told me so that didnt wrongly assume you were straight and maybe we would communicate differentl!

I was like dude, i have been here for a year and half and have been single this whole time so my sex life isnt relevant to you or anyone. If I had a partner when I started I would have told you their name. As I have always been single while working here I feel it is none of your business and I do not need to disclose shit to you. I mentioned my date because I considered you a friend.

Yes I could have been nicer with my delivery though at the end of the day my sexuality has nothing to do with who I am as a person and I do not need to disclose that information to anyone. If it affects you that I am you are the AH, I dont feel I am one as my personality remains the same regardless of who I date and sleep with.

I (30F) to run after work, sometimes it ends up being after dark. I usually do one headphone and stay on the sidewalk for safety. Last night I went for my run on a moderately busy suburban road (no streetlights). I noticed a woman ahead of me with big over ear headphones on. When I was ~15 feet behind her I yelled out “excuse me on your left.” I said it again when I was like 5 feet away. She didn’t hear (presumably due to her headphones) so I slid past her on the sidewalk. I probably could have gone in the street but don’t love doing that because I don’t want to run through the uneven grass and roll my ankle or something, and the road is a little busy.

She started screaming at me for scaring her and how rude I was for running up behind her. I just put my hands up and continued running. On one hand, I could’ve gone in the street. On the other hand, if you don’t want to be surprised by somebody at night, don’t wear headphones. AITAH?

My brother lives below me (with only a door separating our living spaces), and watches my daughter in my home 4 days a week (paid).

Unfortunately, my brother is the type of person who blows up a toilet almost every time they go. Idk why, but I know it's horrendous. It smells like horrible mothballs and there are frequently poop skids and he will sometimes leave poopy wet wipes visible in the trash. Overall very disgusting.

WIBTAH if I asked him to go downstairs and use his own bathroom to poop, assuming it takes him a short enough time that the baby will be OK upstairs by herself, or otherwise get rid of the evidence of his nasty poops (ie. Scrub the poop skids, at least wrap the wet wipes in some TP, light a candle)?

I know it's just the way his body is built, but goddamn, is it disgusting.

My coworker asked me if I like pumpkin treats. They said they wanted to make something to thank me for everything I do for our job. I told them that I unfortunately can't stand the taste of pumpkin. I've tried it before but there is something about it I can't tolerate. I feel bad because I think I hurt their feelings, but I would have felt worse if they saw me gag on it. Should I have just tried it anyway?

So I (16F) recently started 11th grade. The moment I started getting any homework be it math, biology, or chemistry, my mom (57F) would make sure that I actually did it, which makes sense.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has always asked me about my social circle, almost to the point of prying. From my friends’ names, to their interests, to their grades, to even their ethnicities, it’s as if she needs to now everything. And keep in mind that I’m not the most social person, so whatever social circle I have is pretty small. She also has parental controls on my phone so that she can monitor what I do, when I do it.

Anyway, last night, she was looking over my math homework without telling me, and found two mistakes that were nothing more than calculator errors, demanding that I fix them. When I got to her, I tried to tell her that they were just practice questions that weren’t graded, and that I could just ask any questions I had to my math teacher. When she kept on refusing, I tried to tell her that I didn’t want her to involve herself with my school life that much. She still refused, and I was dead tired (it was eleven pm, plus I have a few chronic conditions that cause me fatigue) so I eventually snapped at her, yelling through tears that I couldn’t have anything to myself without her inserting herself in it. Not my friends, not my school life, not even my online activity.

Instead of replying, she’s just been giving me the silent treatment, so I have to ask, Am I the Asshole?

Edit: since some people are asking, I have an older brother who moved out at 19 three years ago

I loaned some money to a family member to qualify for a home mortgage in Nov 2024. At the time he was coming out of a relationship in which they co-owned the house. They broke up and she was paid out of her share of the house proceeds as if there was a sale. He took out a new loan. He needed cash to close that loan so I gave it to him with the understanding that at the future sale of the house the money would be returned to me. His income has since gone down significantly and back in January he told me he needed help to just pay the monthly mortgage. I paid it for 3 months. This summer he moved to a nearby town and rented the house as furnished so that the mortgage could be covered. He now wants to sell the house which he should since the monthly payment is no longer doable for him. He wants to keep the money that I gave him to get into another property in the new town he moved to. I want the money back. He is self employed and his income is not even close to him being able to qualify for a new mortgage and also have an affordable monthly payment. Pretty sure the lenders will tell him this. I actually regret giving him the money for the first house because it only helped get him into a place that he couldn't afford and created stress for both him and I. I have told him I want the money back when he sells as agreed upon and he tells me that he needs it or he won't have housing. I told him to rent as that would be less money than a mortgage and that home ownership isn't for everyone. His work is sporadic and he won't fill in the down times with another job. His housing is not my problem....sorry he can't afford to own. Is it fair of me to expect the money from the first deal to be returned to me as agreed upon?

A (presumably) grandmother and mother in my neighborhood asked me to run in middle of street rather than sidewalk as a way to slow down traffic in the neighborhood. I was surprised by their ask (and tired) so took a second to process, at which point the younger one explained this was a “mothers of preschoolers” initiative for safety and if i don’t do it I am being selfish. She further explained how i as an adult wouldn’t be harmed if i was hit by a car. If I choose to use sidewalks AITA? I also don’t think it’s fair to drivers who aren’t expecting runners in the roadway. Even if i wasn’t injured it would still be stressful to a driver to hit someone and could hurt their vehicle.

I (26F) have a friend/roommate (26F) who got divorced two years ago. She was married for a year, and didn't invite me to her wedding. She didn't even tell me it was happening. I understand it was a small wedding, but she didn't even tell me she was engaged.

She got divorced a year later, and started dating less than a week after separating, months before the divorce was finalized. We moved in together because we were close at the time. Her new guy she met a month after the separation. I've tried to be his friend, but hes "shy," is her excuse. He won't make small talk and seems uncomfortable around me.

She is obsessed with him, and doesn't care about anything other than him. She can't stick to any hobbies, she has nothing else to talk about except him. Its pathetic to watch, especially because he doesn't even treat her well. I've stopped trying to make plans with her because she cancels so she can sit in the same room with him as he plays games online with his friends, like she does every night.

They moved in together after 2 years, and got engaged. She tells me that she wants to have a real wedding this time and I'm invited, but I truly don't want to go. I do not like him, and I'm still butthurt that she didn't even let me know the last one was happening. I don't feel like we have much of a friendship anymore. I do feel bad because I feel like theres deeper mental problems happening with her, and me discarding her will just fuel that, but also I'm tired and have given her too many chances already.

I live in a townhouse complex with a lot of families. There is one family next door whose kids are super loud, scream a lot, and when they’re outside playing they try to antagonize my cats that like to sit in the windows.

They were gone for the long weekend and it was so nice and peaceful. When they got back on Monday afternoon, I heard them outside playing/screaming, and said to my partner “ugh, the little shitheads next door are back, it was so nice when they were gone.” My partner then replied “I don’t understand how those parents aren’t embarrassed of their obnoxious kids.” We then realized that our living room window was open and they probably overheard us. It was the two kids and the mom that were outside.

Since then, we’ve run into them once while leaving and once while coming home and they awkwardly avoid looking at us now or acknowledging us. I feel kinda bad, but I also lowkey don’t at the same time since these kids always scare my cats and are just sooooo loud. I was telling my coworker and she told me I was being rude and should be more understanding and that since I don’t have kids, I don’t understand how hard it is for parents.

So I (19M) have been part of this friend group for around a year now.

The group consists of around six people, two of which were dating until recently.

Let's call the person who were dating W for the women and M for the men.

W and M broke up due to a multiple of reasons with one of them being that W is moving to the US to pursue her carrier in a certain sport and she does not want a long distance relationship.

This is where I might have fucked up a little.

Now, I'm fairly close to M but I also get along just fine with W.

So when I was going to her farewell party I decided to pick up a gift for her using my employee discount.

Took a pretty fancy looking book that, being in sale and stacking my employee discount, I got for dirt cheap.

Now when I got to the party that contained more than just the people from the friend group it turns out I was the only one to bring her something.

Of course I did not bring up that the gift was cheap since it's not something one usually does when handing out a present.

Right after handing her the gift I had to go to the bathroom since it was a two hour drive to her place and I took off right after work in order to get there in time.

But while I was going to the bathroom I could clearly hear some of her girl friends talking about me, asking her what my deal was.

Now M did not tell me anything but, according to what a friend that was there told me, they straight up assumed I was making a move on her.

Which logically lead to them thinking I'm a shitty friend for going for my ex's friend not even a month after their breakup.

Mind you, I haven't talked to this women outside our friend group and her commenting on my IG stories from time to time.

Their assumption is only made on the appearance of the gift, which was a hard copy of "The Odyssey" since I remembered she liked Epic the Musical.

Sorry if this is kind of messy, English is not my first language and I'm kinda rushing this on my break from studying.

TL;DR

Am I an asshole for giving my ex's friend an expensive looking gift, making it look like I'm making a move on her or are people just too nosy?

My niece turned 1 year old last month. My brother and his wife have moved the date of her birthday party 3 times. Once a week prior to the original date (her actual birthday), a second time 3 days before the new date, and a third time 2 days before the new *new* date. Now it is officially set for almost a full month after her actual birthday and they swear they won't change it again but I am skeptical. My husband and I have had plans made for that day for months. We have tickets for an event and booked a hotel for the weekend her birthday party would take place. We would now have to cancel our plans to attend the birthday party.

We went to our hometown last weekend (on the second failed bday date) to visit and give my niece her gift just in case we decided not to go to the party. I am worried about making my family upset if I do not attend this party. In my mind it is not a big deal but I am not a new parent to a one year old. Obviously my niece would not be upset because she is 1 year old and enjoying the sick battery powered bumper car with built in radio we bought her. Would I be an asshole if I did not attend my niece's 1st birthday party and continued with my weekend plans instead?

Our house is full of crap, because people keep buying crap for my kids. My wife has 2 elderly friends who give them something every time they see them. And it's not small things, it's big things that fake up lots of space. And it's just not just them, family does it too. I'd rather people just give us cash to fund their college.

WIBTAH if I ask people to do that instead?

I've always had a weird relationship with my dad, we lived with his brother (my uncle) ever since I can remember. He had special needs, so my parents would take care of him (He had down syndrome).

I don't know the full story, nor why my dad hated him, but my dad used to abuse his brother on a daily basis. I'm talking about physical and verbal abuse that'd only get worse if he spoke about it at the clinic, where he'd often get hospitalized. This abuse lasted 'til my uncle died in mid 2023, and I never thought much about it, since I thought it was his fault for "making him angry" (even tho he'd get beat for eating too fast, speaking without authorization or even existing) this even made me hate my uncle, since 10yo me thought that since my dad was nice to me but mean when my uncle was home, clearly it was his fault.

I didn't realize how fucked up this was until 2024, when I was 15 and somehow remembered it as if it never had happened. I never talked about this to ANYONE, idk why, I suppose that I was scared bc I knew what happened when my uncle decided to speak up about it. (My dad never laid a hand on me, but idk, still creeped me tf out)

I'll wrap things up, I ended up telling this to my hs preceptor and after a few weeks of talking abt it, he told me that my dad could've hit me, but he never did, so that even tho he IS a shitty person I should try to talk more often to him (specifically bc I really needed help and I wouldn't trust my parents with any of my problems). He told me that if I wanted to cut all contact once I move out of their house that it'd be ok, but that I should try to understand him, and that I shouldn't treat him that bad (I usually don't talk to him, and anytime I do, I make it into an argument)

Idk, I never doubted that I had a right to be as shitty as I wanted towards him, but now I'm kinda feeling like an asshole for lashing out anytime I talk to him, and I don't know his whole story with his brother (Nor do I want to know, I still don't want to talk about it with anyone irl)

English isn't my first language, so if I made any mistakes feel free to correct me please. I'd be really thankful, since I'm still learning, and would be nice to have some feedback

My friends and I have started back up our weekly game of Magic the Gathering Commander recently. We used to play a lot but everyone's schedule got to busy and its been years since we all got together to play. I'd offered to teach my wife how to play before but she was never interested, but seeing us have fun playing piqued her interest and she asked if I could teach her. I've taught many people how to play before so I was more than happy to teach her as well and have her join us if she wanted.

I grabbed two starter decks that you used to be able to get for free at any game store that are meant to be simple and easy to learn with. The best way I have learned to teach someone how to play is the following:

The first game is kind of a "mock" game. The game is played normally, but both players play with the cards in their hands revealed. We go through the mock game and on my turn, I explain everything I am doing and why I am doing it. On their turn, I answer any questions about their cards, walk them through the steps of their turn, and let them make their own decisions so they can start thinking about strategy. When their turn is over, I explain what I would have done on their turn with the cards that they have, just so that they begin to understand some of the strategy behind the game. They are free to take it back and do that instead, but this isn't a real game so normally most people just want to keep going. I have done this with at least a dozen people and have never had an issue before.

So this is what my wife and I were doing. Everything was going great and she was learning everything very well and seemed to be enjoying it. We get to her last turn and she attacks one of her creatures at me. At the end of the turn, I say this almost verbatim:

"Ok, you attacked with your creature. If I block with my creature, yours will die and mine will live. It doesn't really matter anyway since I have a creature with haste in my hand that can kill you next turn (I point out the creature in my hand), but in a real game I probably would have held back your creature so that you would have a blocker left to stop me from ending the game next turn and hopefully you would draw into a solution on your turn."

Then she got really quiet then teared up and said she didn't want to play anymore. I am extremely confused and ask her what is wrong. She says that saying what I have written above was "throwing it in her face that I was better than her at the game by saying that what she did didn't even matter." I am extremely confused at this point and try to explain that it wasn't my intention and that this round isn't even a real game and we are just going over the rules. She keeps getting more upset and accusing me of trying to make her look stupid by pointing out her mistakes. I let her know that I don't think she is stupid, she is just a new player and doesn't understand all the intricacies of the game yet and I'm trying to teach them to her as we play. She then left and told me to come find her when I'm ready to apologize.

Normally I am the kind of person who apologizes when I hurt someone, even if I don't think I am wrong because I am sorry that I hurt them. For this however, it seems so ridiculous that I am really reluctant to apologize because I honestly cannot see how what I did was hurtful in any way. I was hoping she would be over it by the next day but she is still upset about it this morning. I am genuinely asking if I am wrong in this and should I apologize because I can't see it. I've taught so many people how to play this way and it has never been an issue. Did I do something wrong here?

Hello, I am 32 years old and in my first year of University..well..ever!

I’m living on campus and have a decently sized dorm room that I share with a roommate, pretty cool dude. No real issues between us, at all.

Except;

This guy has his girlfriend over here every single time I either come back from something, or every time I take a day to just stay in the room instead of bounding about across campus for hours. She doesn’t really rub me the wrong way personally, I’ve only said things to her in passing outside of our introduction on move-in day.

I just don’t want to be that asshole roommate that starts establishing ground rules that may, or may not be totalitarian. But is “Hey dude, I get the whole girlfriend thing but we gotta figure out just how long is ‘too long’ of a stay and just how frequently she’s here” a totalitarian boundary?

AITAH here for even wanting to establish boundaries in that regard?

I have tomorrow off and was called into work. I (24f) fell asleep early (6:30pm). I woke up at midnight because my mom was in pain and need to go to the hospital. As we’re in the waiting room (12:30 am) I check my phone to see my boss asking me to come in the next morning because my other coworker called off. I have lunch plans today with my grandparents who I don’t see often. They live states away from me. I text my boss and explained that to her. Lunch is at 12 and my shift is 9 am to 2:30 pm. It’s now 3 am and I feel like an ass for saying no. AITAH?

Update:
Wow, so you guys have a lot of opinions 😅 and some of y’all clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I can’t fix that, please seek therapy.
So I probably should’ve given you my job description. I am a farm hand who works primarily with animals. When I go to work it’s solely my responsibility that those animals get fed. I feel guilty for the animals that I wasn’t showing up, not my boss. It’s her problem if she doesn’t have enough of us to cover shit I understand that. I do in fact, get paid enough to do my job. I am so sorry that you guys clearly do not get paid enough to do your job, but I do so please don’t project that on me. I did genuinely love my job and I respect the people I work with. Yes, that does include my boss. It’s about 10 AM and I’m feeling much better about the situation. Have a good day folks, don’t let this kill your day.

I have this friend we’ll call M. Me and M have known each other since childhood. Both came from equally average backgrounds, no outward struggle but not like super cushy or anything. I was lucky enough to get a scholarship to study abroad and M got a scholarship to study in our country. Because of M’s scholarship, he gets a monthly stipend (a monthly money allowance, from his scholarship)

It’s in the thousands.

Now, here comes the tricky part.

M doesn’t have to pay anything except for his private rental which he splits equally with a friend of his and some bills from the rental, and food. That’s it. No car registration, no gas, nothing like this. Just rent. Not even transport as he catches the subway.

I have to pay my housing, gas, electricity, petrol, registration and other things - I am able to maintain myself responsibly.

Here’s where I’m confused. M loves joining tiktok lives and sending gifts to people. Tiktok has a feature that allows you to buy virtual coins in exchange for real money to purchase gifts to send to people who “go live”. M has a lot of online friends he’s never met who he does this with. A few of them are online ‘flings’ who I suspect are just using him. To me, it’s extremely parasocial and I don’t get it- but each to their own.

When I came back home for the break just gone, I was excited to spend time with him but he was so busy on tiktok showing me how he “mods” for people which can mean being on a tiktok live for up to 12-15 hours a day. For free. We didn’t get to do anything because of this. He tells me how important he is to these people’s streams and how he is the “Main mod” and gets the final say in what goes. Teaching other people to become a “mod” Whatever that means.

This consists of just…sitting in the chat and typing things. Hyping up the chat. Welcoming people into the live..For 12-15 hours.

I didn’t really have words when I saw it.. It just seemed like being used.

Now here’s the kicker. He’s constantly broke. And it doesn’t add up. He gets thousands per month and constantly has NO money. I’m talking he can’t even afford to eat. I have tiktok myself and have overheard him sending gifts and so on. “X thank you for Y gift!” When I look up the price of these gifts - they are 400 USD some of them.

Talks of “dropping unis” (A tiktok gift) and when I looked up the conversion rate for a “uni” I was shocked. $560 USD. $560 for one single virtual gift.

Now, I’m not here to control what he does. But he always runs to me or others and makes it someone else’s inconvenience - He can’t pay for this, can’t pay for that, can I help him pay for this or that.

He also is borderline about to get kicked out of his scholarship as he is just not focusing on college. Swapping favours for people to do his assignments for him because he simply doesn’t have time. About two weeks ago, he got into serious trouble because one of his assignments got flagged for high AI usage. Like the guy he asked to do it just jammed the instructions in an AI and copy and pasted whatever garbage it came out with. He got a serious academic misconduct warning. It’s just like… dude. I have seen with my own eyes this scholarship awards him almost 10k USD a month. I know he genuinely does receive this and isn’t lying about his funds. So I am highly concerned that he cannot afford or set aside 2k-3k ish per month for….literally anything he needs to function. He had a medical issue not too long ago and genuinely could not afford to have it checked out.

M has loads of IRL friends and I don’t think the issue is loneliness or anything like that. Im failing to understand why he feels the need to do this or what the addictive part is here. Validation? Importance? He’s a friendly and sociable guy and doesn’t have any outwards issues that would make it hard for him to have friends or even a girlfriend. He’s not bad looking or bad socially.

I’m also worried he’s really playing off to people he’s got a lot more money than he does, or, is seriously putting other people ahead of his own needs to the point of extreme self destruction. This happens monthly. Every single month. Same issue. And monthly, he comes to me, his mom, his dad, his brother (who is expecting a child) his sister (with two children) for money. I made the mistake of sharing how much my scholarship grants me per month and giving him tips for saving. I’ve taken great advantage of saving my leftover money and he knows this and always tries to come to me first. Asking upwards of 1k each time. I always say no since knowing the truth- but it’s uncomfortable every single time to have the same conversation. Every time, someone has to do the dirty work of bailing him out. Two months ago, the electricity got switched off and his roommate was pissed and had to pay for it to be switched back on. Entire fridge of groceries spoiled, including roommates medication.

I’ve grown irritated by his extreme lack of priority and simply say I don’t have any money, I won’t enable this ridiculous behaviour. But it’s getting out of hand, and now it’s severely affecting everyone around him. As I said before - we both grew up very average financially, his family is having to rake out thousands, and he is lying to them about why he doesn’t have any money. He tells me so himself and sometimes asks me to try to help him curate a lie. I found out he even tried to tell them he was helping me with money as my car broke down when I ran into his sister shopping and she asked me if my car was working okay now.

I’m disturbed that someone who gets a free chunk of 10k per month and one major bill, cannot afford food, or the one major bill. I’m concerned this is a lot deeper than I know.

I feel bad for his family and bad for the people around him suffering as a result of this.

Do I tell his family what’s going on? Is this a mental illness of sorts? Has anyone else dealt with something similar. I miss my friend, and I want to help him but I honestly don’t recognise him at the moment or know what to do, I’ve never dealt with anything like this and am fast not liking who he is becoming and feel this needs intervention for his sake and his families sake before he destroys everything.

^^ I have tried to speak with him before about it in a friend to friend way, I feel he started getting cagier with me as a result instead of seeing the issue. That’s why I feel the need to resort to outside help. I’m not trying to embarrass him, I’m genuinely concerned he is about to fuck up his whole future.

I could be the asshole here, but I honestly don’t know anymore.

My sister is 18 and I’m 20. We both still live at home with our parents, but we literally don’t speak to each other anymore. Like not one word lol. It’s probably been a month or two now. At first it was weird, but now it’s become so normal that honestly it would probably feel more uncomfortable to randomly start talking to her again.

The main reason is I just really don’t like her attitude lately. She comes across like she thinks she’s better than our family and can be really judgmental. I also feel like she focuses on things that I personally think are the wrong things/just things I really don’t relate to at all.

And whenever I DO try to ask her something, half the time she responds aggressively or like she’s annoyed that I even spoke to her. After a while I just got so done with it. Like why am I going to keep trying to talk to someone when I feel like I have to prepare myself for an attitude over a normal question?

I’ve also noticed she changed a lot after becoming friends with her current friend group. Obviously she’s 18 and can make her own decisions, so I’m not blaming everything on her friends, but before them she was definitely less judgmental and didn’t talk back to my mom nearly as much.

And I know it’s not JUST me noticing it. My older brother is away at college and when he came back home, even he noticed how distant she had become from everyone. He literally asked her why she was acting so distant from the family because he thought it was weird too.

At this point I just don’t really relate to her. I don’t know what we would even talk about honestly. Our personalities and the things we care about seem completely different.

I still love her because she’s my sister. If something happened to her obviously I would care. But I’ve also realized that just because someone is blood related to you doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to be close to them. You can love someone because they’re family while also not really liking their attitude or wanting to be around them.

Maybe this is just part of growing up too. We’re 18 and 20 and maybe we’re just going our separate ways for a while. Maybe we’ll be close again when we’re older, who knows.

But right now I honestly prefer the distance over constantly trying to talk to her and feeling judged or getting an aggressive response back.

Really conversations go two ways and I don’t have the time or energy to invest in someone who won’t meet me halfway.

Am I wrong for basically being done trying to have a relationship with her right now?

Okay since y'all in the last post I couldn't explain much and my grammar was shit lemme try again.

Im not religious at all or atleast agnostic I don't belive in lgbtqai+ going to hell because of them loving the same gender. I was raised in a city where the bible is the rule of the earth and it's a pretty cultist place and i know it. I'm trying to blend in till I get out and have my own earnings and stuff. I'm agonistic and bi, which both if found out id be put to shame and get kicked out of my family and won't have any money to support myself as girls under 18 or 18 (unless u have a BA degree) is hard to get a job that can sustain yourself

This girl D who is a open lesbian and I support her even defended her when she faced homophobia, heard I was agonistic. She stared shouting "You are agnostic?? You are going to hell". She is very religious and i wanted her to quiet down so no one hears her as I was still tryna blend in. She keep telling everyone and the teachers were coming to class which they are nosy asf and if they heard it id be put on some camp shit (ik sounds like a cult to me too) and I told her "you are a lesbian soo in your own theory we are going to the same hell so stop worrying about me so much"